Archive of Our Own

It all starts when Hanbin gets home from uni on his usually free Thursday evening. He stayed back way longer than he’d expected, helping Gyuvin and Yujin with their self-choreographed performances for next week's competition. They've been dreading it, and Hanbin is more than happy to help. 

He sighs as he takes off his jacket. The adrenaline and focus from dancing are finally starting to wear off.

He can already hear Matthew rummaging in the kitchen, probably cooking up a meal for the two of them. Hanbin smiles as he places his shoes neatly next to the rack they hung up for their coats a while ago. Rooming with his best friend truly feels like such a breeze.

Matthew brightly smiles at him when he walks into their living room, waving at him with a spoon in his hand. “Welcome home, hyung!”

Hanbin can’t help but smile back, sitting down on the couch. He can already feel his eyes drooping shut. “Do you need any help with cooking or do you think it’ll be fine, Seok-mae?” he asks.

“Hanbin-hyung, go rest. I can handle it on my own,” Matthew laughs in response. Hanbin silently thanks the stars for sending his best friend to him in his first year of uni. It feels a little weird to think it’s already been two years since they met, and also almost a year since they moved in together.

Even though Matthew studies Performing Arts instead of Dance like Hanbin does, they shared quite some classes together in their first year. Matthew has a completely different schedule now. Luckily for Hanbin, that does mean Matthew has time to cook on the days he gets home late. “Oh, hyung,” Matthew says, making him blink away the memories. “I found a letter addressed to you in front of our apartment today. Wait, I’ll give it to you!”

Hanbin hums in response, before the words actually register in his head. A letter. Huh.

It could be an early birthday gift, but his actual birthday isn’t until a few weeks from now. Most of his friends are usually late with giving him presents instead of early, so that isn’t likely at all.

He hasn’t put in an application for a show lately either. He did write to a school to ask if he could give dance classes to some of the kids there, but they emailed him back just a few days ago. It’s way too late for Christmas, and he paid all of his taxes.

“Do you have any idea whom it might be from, hyung?” Matthew asks as he hands him the envelope. It’s a basic white envelope with his full name printed on it, but there’s no sight of stamps anywhere. Whoever sent it to him must have dropped it off at his apartment.

Hanbin shakes his head before smiling at Matthew, who’s looking at the envelope with curiosity in his eyes. “Only one way to find out, Seok-mae.”

It takes him a while to open the envelope as his fingers struggle to rip off the tape without damaging whatever is inside. The envelope feels weirdly bulky. Matthew is about to hand him a pair of scissors when he finally manages to open it.

A necklace falls out.

It’s packed up in a sheer pink pouch, tied to a letter with a soft pink ribbon. His name is printed on the letter as well, and Hanbin can’t help the blush rising on his cheeks. He knows he has quite a few admirers at university, but well… no one has ever gifted him something quite like this.

He glances at Matthew. His best friend just sends him a knowing smile in return, pointing towards the letter. “Aren’t you going to read it, hyung?”

He fumbles with the sticker on the letter, scared to rip it after the sender has obviously put so much effort into making this for him. The letter itself is printed as well. He feels a slight pang of disappointment at not being able to read the handwriting.

Dear Hanbin,

Please excuse the lack of honorifics. I do not want to make you immediately guess who I am, since there is yet no need for you to. Expressing my feelings by writing you a letter might feel a little cowardly, but frankly, it’s the easiest way for me to freely tell you how I feel.

The way your eyes sparkle is simply mesmerising, although I cannot fathom the idea of seeing them light up as I tell you these things in person.

Sung Hanbin, your passion and perseverance light up the most boring and common of days. I saw your smile yesterday, and it took all of my strength to not duck my head or show the flustered expression on my face.

A little birdie told me you preferred roses over any other kind of flowers – and therefore I foolishly hope you might accept this humble gift. Do with it as you please.

Yours truly,

…

There’s no name written at the end of the letter. Instead, there’s a simple stamp of a star. Hanbin slowly lowers the paper onto his lap as his heart skips a beat, a smile pulling on his lips. Matthew grins at him before snatching the paper out of his hands.

He doesn’t have the strength to protest, so Hanbin instead picks up the pouch.

The ribbon comes loose quickly. He opens it up, holding the pouch above his hand, and-

He gasps when the necklace falls out into the palm of his hand. It’s a simple silver-coloured steel necklace, with a charm of a rose on it. The outline is golden, in contrast to the silver, and there are red details painted on the charm. It looks beautiful.

Next to him, Matthew looks up at the sound of his excited gasp. His eyes widen almost comically before he looks down at the paper again. He looks a little flushed himself. “This person really, really likes you, hyung. Their way of wording their feelings is so fancy.”

Hanbin nods, eyes still focused on the necklace.

It’s exactly his style. Simple, but cool, with a nice touch of his favourite flower. His heart flutters in his chest as he thinks about how long this mystery person must have spent looking at necklaces to pick the perfect one for him.

Matthew helps him put it on before he goes back to cooking, and Hanbin…

He reads the letter again, and again, until Matthew hands him a plate of his favourite pasta for dinner. He’s still wearing his training clothes, Hanbin realises. The letter distracted him too much for him to think of changing.

“So, hyung,” Matthew starts, drawing out the syllables as he cheekily grins at Hanbin. “Do you have any idea who your secret lover might be?”

And… well. He doesn’t, not really. The only person Hanbin knows who puts this much care into choosing presents and writing letters is Hao-hyung, but there is no way he would write him a love letter. He shakes his head. “Do you?”

Matthew sends him a knowing look before he taps his chin with his fingers as he thinks about it. He ponders, and then carefully says, “Maybe someone from one of your classes?”

Hanbin grimaces. The girls in his class are all obsessed with the person they think he is, so it doesn’t seem likely. He then also shares some classes with Hao, Jiwoong and Matthew himself.

“I don’t think so, Seok-mae,” he laughs, pointedly ignoring the way Matthew rolls his eyes at him. “At least it’s definitely not Jiwoong-hyung, he’s way too busy making heart eyes at you for him to even consider writing me a love letter.”

Just as expected, Matthew turns a brilliant shade of red. Hanbin ignores the butterflies in his stomach as he plays with the rose charm, teasing Matthew about his crush on their friend some more. It’s much later when they’re watching a movie that Matthew brings it up again.

“Do you want it to be anyone, hyung?”

The question hangs between them in the silence, the sounds of the movie becoming background noise as Hanbin ponders the question. The only person he can think of who truly gets him is Hao, but… Hao is so far out of his league that Hanbin doesn’t even dare to hope so.

They’re best friends, after all.

So he shakes his head. “I think anyone who’s willing to put such effort into picking something for me is someone I could love, don’t you think? It might be from someone I least expect it to be, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t give them a chance.”

Matthew nods. “I can see that. They will come to you one way or another, so you better watch out hyung!” he brightly smiles, playfully punching Hanbin’s shoulder. “Oh, would you mind if I told Jiwoon-hyung?”

He assures Matthew that he doesn’t. Hanbin can’t help but think about it while the movie continues playing, and decides to send a picture of the necklace in their group chat. Gyuvin and Ricky reply in an instant, while Yujin sends him a private dm just before he goes to bed.

The necklace lays on his nightstand, like a polar star in the night, and Hanbin drifts off to sleep with the letter still in mind.

He only realises the next day, when his alarm goes off and he begrudgingly gets up for classes, that Hao is the only one who hasn’t replied to his text yet.

Hanbin sighs, dragging his hands across his face as he wordlessly slides down the mirror onto the floor. His next dance competition is less than a week away, and he still hasn’t found a song to go with. The piece is supposed to be something personal and dear to him.

He can’t seem to find anything that fits him though.

Every song is either too fast, too energetic for what he aims to get across, or too soft to fully show off his personality. He wants to incorporate whaacking as well, but more in a sneaky way, but… none of the songs on his playlist seem to fit the vibe he’s going for.

Gunwook sent him his own playlist a few hours ago, but dancing to those songs only made Hanbin feel more hopeless. Even Hao didn’t have the right song for him. Hanbin partly blames it on the fact that they share a playlist most of the time, and that that means their taste in music is quite similar, but he can’t help but feel down.

Hao is always his go-to when he doesn’t know exactly what to do, so it feels strange and unfamiliar to not text him about this project every few seconds. Hanbin does want it to be a surprise when he finally gets to see the dance.

… If he ever finishes it, that is.

He reaches for his water bottle, fingers absentmindedly tracking a pattern on the side. It has been two days since the love letter was placed in front of his door. He ignores the way his cheeks automatically heat up when he thinks of it.

He’s not wearing the necklace right now either, too scared to somehow rip it while he’s dancing, but he misses its comfortable weight around his neck.

In those two days, he hasn’t gotten closer to guessing who the mystery person is either. Hanbin knows they want him not to try and guess, but he can’t help but be curious. Asking his friends didn’t help him get closer at all.

He shakes his head at himself. He can worry about that later.

He drags himself off the floor as he unlocks his phone again, the Hao in the picture he has as his wallpaper almost mockingly smiling at him. He really wants to do well at the competition and perform something Hao can be proud of.

The practice drags on as he tries another thirty songs. Time seems to slow down as he grits his teeth in frustration, muscles aching. He’s about to put on a new song when he sees a text message from Matthew.

Hey, hyung~ I know you’re at uni right now but there’s a new letter!!! So come home if you want to read it (((o(*° ▽ ° *)o)))

It’s almost embarrassing how fast he shoves his clothes and props into his backpack before sending Matthew a quick text back.

I’ll be home in 15.

He ends up being home in thirty minutes, because public transport is absolute hell at 5pm, and also because he got distracted and bought the new volume of a manga series Hao really likes on his way home. Matthew is waiting for him at the front door with the most smug smile Hanbin has ever seen on him.

“Hanbin-hyung has got it bad~,” he singsongs, smile widening as he takes a look at the bag in Hanbin’s hands.

Hanbin just weakly glares at him before looking around their apartment as he takes off his shoes, hurriedly stacking them half on top of each other. Matthew’s eyes soften as he points at their table. Hanbin pointedly ignores the way his heart skips a beat at the sight of a plain envelope.

It’s a lot bigger than last time.

The last envelope barely fitted the letter, folded in the format of a postcard, but this one is big enough to fit a normal-sized piece of paper. Hanbin carefully turns it around. There’s no clear tape on the back this time, but instead a cute-looking washi tape.

It has a print of a cat posing for pictures on it, and it feels so very Hao that Hanbin takes out his phone and snaps a picture of it to send to Hao later. Texting Hao now feels a little too disrespectful though, so he puts it away again as he carefully peels off the tape.

There are no heavy items in it this time either. The envelope feels strangely light, and all Hanbin takes out is a small stack of papers wrapped in brown wrapping paper and a letter.

This time, the package isn’t held together by a ribbon, but the letter is stuck onto the package with the same washi tape as before. It looks adorable.

Hanbin stares at it for a while, admiring it, before Matthew elbows him. “Hyung, aren’t you going to open it?”

Dear Hanbin,

I was more than a little pleased to spot you wearing the necklace I gifted you during practice. Although I did not find the courage to do more than as much glance in your direction, the fluttering feeling of my accelerated heartbeat did not leave me alone for the rest of the day.

I cannot stop thinking about your soft smile, nor the way your cheeks curve with your whisker dimples whenever you smile so brightly. I wish to take away any kind of sorrow or trouble from your life, so I may always look in your direction and witness pure and unfiltered joy on your pretty face.

Therefore, I hope this gift may help you with your current struggles. If it is not to your satisfaction, please forget I have gifted you it.

Yours sincerely,

…

Matthew finishes reading over his shoulder at the same time Hanbin does. He can feel his face heating up, Matthew’s hands pressing into his cheeks as he tries to hold his laughter. Hanbin is smiling so hard that his face is starting to hurt.

He rereads the letter, and then rereads it again. The words don’t change, no matter how many times he reads them, but he feels more giddy every time he finishes reading the letter. They saw him wear the necklace. Somehow he feels a little embarrassed at the idea.

They might be spying on him if they noticed, though. Matthew laughs at him when he voices the thought out loud. “Come on, hyung. They like you, obviously they’re going to notice details like these! Especially since they were the one who gifted you the necklace.”

That does make a lot of sense, and Hanbin smiles while rubbing the back of his nape. They do really like him.

He carefully picks up the gift from the table. Something that’s supposed to help him with his struggles… they probably know he’s a Dance major if they like him that much. It might just be a guide on how to teach kids.

Hanbin can’t help but brightly smile at the idea. Teaching kids is a dream come true, even though they’re all little menaces half of the time. Seeing them find a way of art to process and showcase emotions never fails to make him tear up, though.

He aspires to do the same with his dancing.

The wrapping comes off a lot easier than expected, and Hanbin gapes at the papers in front of him. Matthew peeks over his shoulder. “Wait, hyung. What is it?”

He’s not entirely sure to reply, not until he knows one hundred percent sure he has the right idea of what this might be, so he wordlessly gets up and sits down in front of his keyboard. He bought one almost impulsively two years ago and then decided he should learn how to play it so it wouldn’t be a waste of money. It turned out to be a lot of fun, and Hanbin definitely gets why Matthew enjoys making music this much. 

He lays down the music sheets in front of him and turns on the keyboard. The first few notes are a little hesitant, since he isn’t entirely sure about what he’s doing, but the longer he plays the easier the song flows.

It’s absolutely perfect.

Everything about it captures him so perfectly, like someone turned him into ink and wrote a story containing just Sung Hanbin. Every note is meant to be his. There’s a build-up leading to a slight drop just halfway through the song that’s so perfect for whaacking.

He’s speechless, and by the time he finishes playing it he has to blink away the tears in his eyes.

“They gave me the song,” he tells Matthew, voice hoarse. “They wrote me the song I needed to dance to for my competition next week.”

The song flows just as well when he’s standing on the stage.

Taerae had offered to add vocals to it, a hushed voice that whispers about his experiences in the dancing world, and Hanbin lets his body perform for him.

He spends his week holed up in the studio, not getting the whaacking part quite right until he’s standing on the stage. The audience holds its breath the moment the music starts playing. Hanbin makes a quick turn, extending his arms, and he jumps into his very own soul.

He only remembers he’s performing when the song ends, breaking him out of his trance. The audience roars and claps as he bows down, and he knows he has shown all Sung Hanbin has to offer. That was him on stage.

When he greets his friends backstage, Yujin jumps into his arms. “I knew you could do it, hyung! That song was absolutely perfect.”

Hanbin dazedly nods. It truly is perfect. A staff member tugs on his arm just before he’s able to ask Hao what he thinks of it, if he thought his solo was good enough to make him proud. He rushes back as soon as he's able to, about to ask Hao for his opinion, when-

Hao hugs him like he’s delicate, carefully placing his trophy on the ground. There are unshed tears in his eyes, and Hanbin doesn’t think he has ever loved someone in his life as much as he loves Zhang Hao during this very moment.

“The music was beautiful, don’t you think hyung?” he asks, tempering down the overwhelming urge to kiss him. One of Hao’s sleeves is rolled up, as always, and he looks absolutely stunning in his black suit.

Hao just stares at him, a strange look on his face, before he nods. “It was.”

They stand there for a little longer, hands intertwined, and Hao silently wipes away a tear falling down his cheek. When Hanbin asks him about it, he laughs. “What, Hanbin-ah? Can’t your hyung be moved by your beautiful performance?”

He takes the trophy home, staring at it as he places it on his shelf of treasured items, and then quietly adds the music sheets to it as well.

“Hyung, I already texted everyone in the group chat but we’re having a game night today! So no staying late at the studio, okay?”

Hanbin just flashes a smile in response to Matthew’s comment. It has been a while since they’ve all gotten together, especially since they’re all busy studying for their exam week. Hanbin counts himself lucky to know he can incorporate his choreographies from previous competitions in his final performance for this term.

Gyuvin however, is not as lucky, and he hasn’t been active in the group chat at all. Hao has been busy with preparations for his performance at the Opera House as well. They haven’t had time to talk at all in the past few weeks, and… Hanbin misses him.

He practises his own dances for just a few hours. The song his admirer gifted him, by now titled The rise of Hanbin , plays again and he lets his body get lost in the music. Something about it feels so distinctively familiar to him.

Matthew texts him just as he starts thinking about it again, and he picks up his phone.

Hyung~~ could you come home early and prepare some snacks? Jiwoong-hyung wanted to take me shopping first so now I can’t do it myself o(〒﹏〒)o

Hanbin snorts as he reads the text. Of course Matthew would prioritise Jiwoong over actually getting snacks for their game night. Jiwoong can be more than just a little convincing when he wants to be, and Hanbin knows he just wants to spend more time with Matthew before their exams start.

He texts back a simple ok! before he packs his things, still listening to his song as he gets on the train home. Dropping off his dirty clothes and props at home first is a lot easier than struggling to take home both groceries and his own stuff. He rushes home, only to pause in front of their apartment.

There’s a letter in front of their door.

‘To: Sung Hanbin’ is printed on it, as always, and there’s a bag of groceries sitting right next to the letter. Hanbin doesn’t dare to take a look at what’s inside it before he reads the letter, so he ignores both as he hurriedly puts away his own things.

He kicks off his shoes somewhere in the direction of the rack and then sits down on the couch with the letter and the bag.

Matthew is not here this time, as he’s on a date with his beloved Jiwoong-hyung, and Hanbin swears he can hear his own heartbeat. Without his best friend here it suddenly does feel a lot more real. His secret admirer isn’t just some sort of joke, they’re a real person.

A cute, real person.

Hanbin would be lying if he were to say he isn’t starting to catch feelings for them, simply because of their carefully chosen gifts and words. They’re really putting in so much effort, and-

He wipes his sweaty hands on his jeans, and picks up the envelope.

It’s sealed with a wax stamp this time. The dark red matches the flowery print of the stamp and the rose petal that’s sealed in it, and he carefully tries to open it. The envelope doesn’t seem to open unless he breaks the seal, though, so he ends up having to get up to grab a pair of scissors.

Dear Hanbin,

Oxygen is starting to feel like a luxury when it comes to you, as you leave me breathless every time your heart beats. You leave me entranced as if the way you move puts a spell on all of my limbs until I succumb to the dance that’s only for you, for us together.

Seeing you perform to my song made the fire in my heart only burn brighter, and I wonder how much longer I can bear being apart from you in this way. Then again, I cannot hope you feel the same way.

My little birdie told me you will be spending some time with the most important people in your life today. I hope you enjoy your time with them – and I foolishly hope I can be a part of that select group even after you find out my true identity. As much as I want to, I cannot keep quiet forever.

I hope these will appeal to you as much as you appeal to me. Even when I cannot hold you close, when I can only dream of making you smile as much as those important to you do, I hope my gifts will make you think of me.

Is it a selfish thing to do so? Even if it is, I won’t be able to express myself in a way that differs from this one. I haven’t thanked you yet for allowing me to write these letters to you, and for allowing me to have the privilege to see you acknowledge and hopefully treasure my gifts. I am in the middle of learning a new art – I won’t spoil too much of the surprise for you, but I am trying new things for you every day. Good luck, I hope your game night will be prosperous.

I hope you always stay healthy and happy, Hanbin.

Entirely and only yours,

…

His ears are bright red by the time he finishes reading. For them to think of him as such a treasure feels almost unreal, like he needs to shake them until their brain cells start to make sense again. The real treasure is Hao.

Hanbin wonders if they’d still see him in the same light if they’d realise Hao exists in the way that he does, because no one is ever quite the same after noticing that.

He sighs, carefully folding the letter back along the already existing creases, and gently puts it back into the envelope. They got him an entire bag of things this time. Hanbin doesn’t want to fall for them, not before he has actually met them, but…

They’re making it harder every time he reads their letters.

The way they pick the most stunning words to write down reminds him of the way Hao carefully chooses which words to use in his essays, and it’s more than just a little admirable. He tugs on the handles of the bag.

It almost topples over, but he manages to catch the first bag falling out of it before it lands on the floor. It’s a bag of Maltesers, the exact kind he likes the best. He softly smiles and takes a look at the rest of the gifts.

They’re all different kinds of snacks. Hanbin likes all of them, especially the sweet gummies they got him, and he wonders if they asked Hao or Matthew what his favourite snacks are. Some of them aren’t easy to get at all, so they must have put a lot of effort into finding them.

He grins as he remembers their game night. At least he no longer needs to go get groceries. He takes a quick picture of the snacks and sends it to Matthew.

They already got me snacks, so don’t think I just only picked my favs.

Even though Matthew is still on his date (“Hyung… it’s not a date. Besides, Jiwoon-hyung doesn’t even like me like that! He just said he wanted to see me in cute clothes.”) he replies in a little under a minute.

Looks like they know the stomach is the way to a guys heart (* ￣ ▽ ￣ )b
Jiwoong-hyung and I will be home soon hyung!!

Hanbin smiles as he gets up, putting the snacks in different bowls and getting their board games out of the basement. Hao always gets defensive and competitive over board games, especially when they play together, so Hanbin wants to make him pick which game they should play tonight.

Hao has been really stressed for his exams as well, so it might cheer him up.

Matthew and Jiwoong are already back by the time he manages to find Hao’s favourite board game, and Jiwoong gently smiles at him as he puts the letter back down on the table. “You really have a new admirer, right Hanbin-ah?”

Hanbin ignores him, knowing his face must be almost as red as a strawberry, and gratefully runs to open the door when he hears the doorbell. He hurriedly opens the door, and-

Hao sends him a small smile. He catches sight of Hanbin’s new necklace, Hanbin notices, as his eyes widen briefly before he looks away. A strange heat pools in his stomach as he notices the blush creeping on Hao’s cheeks.

“Ah, hyung, I’m so glad to see you. Jiwoong-hyung was just teasing me,” Hanbin whines. He even pouts for dramatic effect, and he almost sighs in relief when Hao smiles at him, the strange expression on his face long gone.

“We also have your favourite board games! You love Monopoly, right Hao-hyung?” he says as he tugs on Hao’s coat, gently coercing him into the apartment. Matthew and Jiwoong are staring at them with odd expressions on their faces, and he sticks out his tongue at them.

Gyuvin and Ricky arrive together not too long after that, and Taerae confesses he drove ‘the kids’ to their apartment when they ask him why he walks in with Gunwook and Yujin hanging onto his arms. The apartment immediately seems a lot more lively, and Hanbin smiles at their antics.

It really has been so long since they’ve all hung out together.

It doesn’t take long for them to start playing Monopoly after that, just like Hao wants, and Hanbin watches in silent awe at how he manages to get so far ahead that they all know he’s going to win by a landslide.

Gyuvin is already about to go bankrupt and they all giggle as he whines about his unfair treatment. 

“You just suck.” Ricky smiles at him. “Maybe if you were also young and tall, rich and handsome you’d be way more successful in life and-“

Yujin lets out a long sigh. “Ricky-hyung, stop it with your charisma boss quote. We’ve all heard it a million times, no one is interested in it anymore.”

Jiwoong and Matthew laugh at the betrayed expression on Ricky’s face, and they all choose to turn a blind eye to Taerae handing Gyuvin more money from the bank from time to time to stop him from going bankrupt.

It’s quiet for a while as they all think out their strategies before Gunwook speaks up, turning to look at Hanbin. “Hanbin-hyung, I ran into multiple of your admirers today. They all didn’t even acknowledge me, they just wanted me to ask you for your number.”

Jiwoong pipes up as well as Hanbin buries his face in his hands. “I’ve noticed this as well! Ever since your performance to that one song you absolutely love, you’ve been getting a lot more popular. Our Hanbinnie is really gaining a following.”

Hanbin sighs, ready to disappear under the table and give up when he catches sight of Hao’s expression. There’s an odd smile on his face, one that doesn’t really look happy.

“Hao-hyung, are you okay?” he whispers when they start playing again. Hao blinks at him, surprised, and gives him a gentle smile. This one looks a lot more genuine. Hanbin smiles back, almost giddy.

“I’m really okay, Hanbin-ah. Just thinking about my next strategy,” Hao murmurs. His tone is still off, but the edges of his eyes start to curve as he smiles, so Hanbin decides to let it slide. “Would you accept any of their confessions?”

There’s a certain vulnerability to Hao’s tone that makes Hanbin pause, and he ponders on the question. He only wants to hear a confession from just one person right now, but he isn’t entirely sure if that would be the mystery admirer or Hao. Still, he decides to shake his head.

It’s all worth it when he sees the relieved smile on Hao’s face, and he gently nudges him. “It’s your turn, hyung. Don’t worry, I will always be here and be yours!”

It doesn’t take long for him to go bankrupt after that, but Hanbin finds he doesn’t mind when he’s pressed up against Hao like this, as Hao slowly feeds him the gummies in between turns. He’s really good at strategy games like these, even if they also depend on luck.

Maybe Hao is just the luckiest person he knows. Hanbin smiles. He wonders what his admirer would think of Hao. Maybe he should really introduce them someday, as he feels like they would absolutely adore him.

He absentmindedly starts playing with Hao’s fingers, slowly interlacing their hands. Hao almost drops the money he’s holding and sticks out his tongue at Hanbin, and-

Hanbin didn’t notice how close they were until now, and now he’s staring at Hao’s lips because oh , he really is so close, and if he just leaned in a little bit more they’d be-

“Hyung, can you pass me some of those Maltesers please?” Matthew asks, and he blinks away the thoughts before passing them over.

When he looks back at Hao, he’s still staring at him with that same odd expression from before. Hanbin innocently blinks at him. “Hao-hyung, can you give me a gumball?”

He doesn’t quite have the energy to say thanks when Hao feeds him more candy during their next games, his mind replaying Hao’s odd expression the rest of the night.

The exam period passes rather uneventfully. Hanbin ends up not being able to talk to anyone apart from Matthew for days , and he hears nothing from Hao. He doesn’t get any letters either – as he expected, even his admirer is too busy cramming for their exams.

It doesn’t take long before he’s holed up in the studio again though.

His teachers love to torture them with assignments, especially Back Yooyoung, so Hanbin finds himself trying to come up with a new way to teach kids just a day after the exams. He really can’t afford to mess this up.

He has always wanted to be a teacher. Teaching to him equals helping kids figure out what life is all about, and he wants to do nothing more than help people. Especially if he can do so by teaching them how to dance.

And his next assignment will determine whether or not he’s skilled enough of a teacher for that. Needless to say, Hanbin is stressed.

He grimaces as he wipes the sweat off his forehead. He knows whaacking might not be the best thing to teach kids when they’re walking into their first dance class, but Hanbin loves it. There’s something so freeing about the form of art.

His song is still playing – he put it on loop and hasn’t taken it off of that since the performance. Hao added it to their playlist unprompted as well. Even his hyung likes the song. Hanbin smiles.

The door to the studio opens. The light that floods in reflects on the mirror, and it leaves an almost blinding sort of halo around the head of the person who walked in. Not that it changes much – to him, Hao always looks like an angel.

 “Hanbin-ah. You’re not done practising yet?” Hao asks, tiredness evident in his voice. There are dark circles under his eyes, and his violin case is sticking out of the bag he brings to practice. He’s holding music sheets that look suspiciously like the ones Hanbin got.

He perks up and wants to ask Hao about it, but… Hao is here for him. If he’s already this tired, there’s no need for Hanbin to bother him further. “Ah, hyung. Just stressed about my next grading assignment. Don’t worry too much, I think I’ll be done in a few hours!”

Hao’s frown doesn’t quite ease up, and deepens even further at Hanbin's words instead. “Hanbin-ah, it’s almost 7pm.”

And, well… the ache in his arms is really getting worse by the minute, but he does want to finish this before he goes back. He has already texted Matthew to let him know he’ll be home late tonight. Still, he feels embarrassed.

His face heats up when he turns around, not daring to look Hao in the eyes. “It’s just… we’re getting graded on our ability to keep a bunch of kids under control. I’m not too worried about that part, but what if whaacking isn’t a good subject to start with? I don’t want to change it up simply for that reason, but it worries me nonetheless.”

“Hanbin-ah… I don’t think anything will go wrong as long as you give it your all. No one is as passionate about dancing as you are,” Hao pipes up, voice soft. When Hanbin dares to look up at him again, he has put down his bag and music sheets on the floor. “What if you teach me?”

Hanbin shakes his head on instinct before the words register in his head. Even when he’s tired, Hao offers to help him. He doesn’t want to take advantage of him, but… “If you’re really not too tired, I’d really appreciate your help hyung.”

Hao's bright smile is enough to convince him that it's fine. 

Hanbin knows Hao has danced a few times for fun before, but he doesn’t want to overexert his body and make him regret helping Hanbin out tomorrow. They start with some easy stretches. Hao grunts as they do a particular exercise for their legs, and Hanbin has to fight back a blush.

His ears are still red when they get started on the actual dance.

“You move your hands behind your head like this. Be careful not to lock your angles, since you’re going to want to be smooth with this.”

Hanbin easily slips into teacher mode, voice changing into something more soft and stern. Based on the glance Hao sends him, he must have noticed. Hanbin just smiles at him before moving on, going over the basic movements he wants Hao to practice.

The footwork he has come up with isn’t difficult, but he’s still impressed when Hao manages to nail it first try. He seems to almost waltz on the dancefloor. Hanbin knows it’s impossible for Hao to be a Disney princess – since they don’t exist – but damn if he isn’t close to becoming one.

He only realises he has stopped dancing himself to stare at Hao when Hao pauses as well, arms up and eyes questioning.

“Am I doing it right like this, Hanbin-ah?” Hao asks him, voice soft and arms tangled up in each other in a way that makes Hanbin want to gently correct him and then laugh, because Hao never seems to lose his composure in a way quite like this.

He doesn’t want to ruin whatever they’ve created for themselves, so he doesn’t. Instead, he smiles, eyes curving as he guides Hao’s arms into the right position.

He meets Hao’s eyes in the mirror, and… it feels like they’ve never been this close. He can feel Hao’s breath on his cheek, and Hanbin knows that he can move closer and feel Hao’s lips on his own, and the knowledge is terrifying.

They both stare.

Time seems to have come to a halt, and Hanbin doesn’t know entirely what to do. Hao is staring at his lips, and he’s leaning closer, and his mind is thinking way too much for him to be able to focus. His heart skips a beat, and-

His phone dings, the signature ringtone of Matthew.

Hey hyung~~ do you think you’ll be home for dinner? If not, I’ll just go out with Jiwoong-hyung. Don’t overwork yourself or I will fight you!! ( ＃ `Д´)

He breaks free from Hao’s gaze, relief bubbling up in his stomach. “Hao-hyung, do you want to get dinner together? I don’t want to ruin Jiwoong-hyung’s plans with Matthew.”

Hao is staring at him with the same strange gaze from their game night, and Hanbin wants to ask what has been bothering him all this time when Hao smiles at him. “Of course, Hanbin-ah. Don’t you need to take a break? Hyung will pay~”

Hanbin grins, nodding in response as he types a text to Matthew.

Ok! I’m going out with Hao anyways.

A smile finds its way onto his face, and he grabs Hao’s hand without even thinking about it. They take the train to the Italian restaurant right next to his apartment. Hanbin bashfully lets go of his hand when they walk into the restaurant.

The owner greets Hao with a smile on his face, and Hanbin lets himself get tugged along to sit in a booth while Hao orders his regular for the both of them.

“So, Hanbin-ah,” Hao starts, biting on the straw he got with his iced chai latte. “Do you have any hobbies you still want to pick up for the summer break?”

Hanbin taps his chin in thought. Jiwoong and Ricky asked him the same thing a few days ago, and he still hasn’t fully decided. “I’m not entirely sure. I’m thinking about maybe studying another language, I don’t think English is the perfect match for me.”

Hao laughs in response. “ The Sung Hanbin failing a course?”

“Ya, hyung,” Hanbin whines in response, swatting Hao with the menu. “I’m not perfect like you.”

He teasingly says it, lips curving up in a smile, but Hao still flushes under his gaze. “Ah, Hanbin-ah, I’m still far from perfect. I think I could go with some more courage.”

Hanbin furrows his brows in thought. Hao is always so strong. He never backs down from a challenge, and he even learned how to speak Korean fluently when coming here on a scholarship. Hao needing courage for something seems odd .

Whatever it is though, he doesn’t seem ready to tell Hanbin. He can read it in Hao’s set jaw and the way he’s fumbling with his hands while he’s talking, rolling up his left sleeve. “That’s okay, hyung. I can hold your hand on the way to getting there!”

Hao smiles at him, ears still pink. “Thank you, Hanbin-ah.”

Silence fills the space, but they’re both in no rush to break it. If there’s one thing Hanbin appreciates most about Hao, it’s how they can sit in comfortable silence together. There’s no need to talk about things when he’s with him. They can just exist together.

The waiter brings out their food, and as they thank him for the meal, Hanbin knows what to do. “Hyung! I could pick up studying Chinese in the summer, so I can talk to you even when you’re half asleep.”

Hao laughs in response, pointing at Hanbin with his fork. “Hanbin-ah, you already failed English.”

“Hao-hyung, stop teasing me,” Hanbin whines. “I was just trying to be nice to you. Besides, that also means I would finally be able to read your texts with Ricky.”

He means it as a joke, but then Hao chokes on his water and he’s starting to rapidly turn red, and now Hanbin is a little more than just curious. Does that mean they talk about hot guys when Hanbin is not there? He’s starting to feel a little left out.

“Well then, Hanbinnie. 我喜欢你,” Hao mumbles, almost drowning the syllables with his tongue. It feels like Hao’s playing a game with him that only he gets. Hanbin frowns. He’s using that same tone again, just like the one he used at the party.

He’s about to ask what it means when Hao flashes him a sharp smile, eyes crinkling. “You’ll know what that means when you finally start studying Chinese for me, right Hanbin-ah?”

Oh. Hao is just teasing him. Hanbin laughs, relief pouring into his smile, and he cheekily grins back. “I’ll be the best student ever, hyung!”

They keep talking until the restaurant is getting ready to close up for the night, their chatter and laughter standing out in the otherwise empty restaurant. They decide to take pity on the waiter who has been staring at them, too hesitant to kick them out.

Hao frowns as he takes out his wallet to pay, an embarrassed smile on his face. “Ah, Hanbin-ah. Looks like your hyung spent too much money in the past few weeks… would it be okay to split the bill?”

Hanbin laughs, waving him off. “It’s fine, hyung. I’ll pay!”

The waiter thanks him when he adds a tip to the bill, complimenting the kitchen on their wonderful meals. He doesn’t stop thinking about Hao’s words though.

Hao isn’t at all someone who spends too much money on casual things. He has a huge spreadsheet on his expenses and budgeting habits – even his splurges on new violin strings are carefully measured and calculated. Hanbin is pretty sure Hao spends more time thinking about money than actually spending it.

He doesn’t bring it up until they’re outside, with Hao’s fingers intertwined with his.

“Hao-hyung,” he starts, giggling at the way Hao’s head immediately whips up to look at him. He looks a lot like a puppy like this, Hanbin decides. “What did you spend your money on? You’re not one to splurge at all, hyung. Not that it’s a bad thing! I’m happy to pay.”

“Just… a gift,” Hao says quietly, staring at the ground.

It doesn’t sound like just a gift to Hanbin at all, but he decides to ignore it. He’s in no position to judge him, especially not after he spent half of their grocery money on a book of violin sheet music he thinks Hao will like.

So he nods, jostling their linked hands. “I hope they’ll like it then, hyung. You’re great at being thoughtful and nice, so I think they will. It’s the thought that counts anyways!”

The smile Hao sends him when they part makes him feel all giddy and warm inside, and he’s still drunk on the feeling when he gets home. He fumbles with his keys, not wanting to wake Matthew up in case he’s already home. He suspects he’s sleeping at Jiwoong’s house regardless, but just in case.

He opens the door, careful to not be too loud, and-

Hanbin trips over a package.

It’s an actual huge box this time, with his address printed on the side and a postage sticker in the top right corner. The letter is stuck onto it with clear tape, and Hanbin faintly wonders how it managed to survive the trip to his house.

He hurriedly takes his shoes off, his shoulders aching when he picks the box off of the ground, and he sits down on their couch. It’s starting to feel like a tradition to read the letter on the couch, and Hanbin isn’t one to break traditions.

He rips the letter off, carefulness lost in his impatience, and mourns the corner that gets stuck in the tape and ripped off. Hopefully, his admirer won’t mind too much.

Dear Hanbin,

My little birdie told me you were thinking about studying a new language, so I hope my offer isn’t too straightforward. If you decide to not accept it, please donate these to the local library. I can only pray you appreciate the beauty of this language, the one that's so very dear to me. 

Every day without your blinding smile feels like a bland one, and I cannot remember what the universe was like before it started gravitating toward you. There hasn’t been a day where you weren’t my soft spot. You, Sung Hanbin, are the reason I strive to be better.

I don’t like losing – especially not in a game like this. Even though I might not be able to find the courage to walk up to you now, I will one day have to confront you with my feelings. Keeping it bottled up inside makes my feelings more condensed by the day.

Thank you for letting me stay close to you, even if it’s through these letters. Thank you, Hanbin.

Yours forever,

…

When he unpacks the package, the stack of books on how to learn Chinese somehow doesn’t confuse him. It feels like his secret admirer is always one step ahead of him – like they’re playing a game they’re better at than he is.

The vowels feel foreign and strange on his tongue when he opens the books and tries to read the words out loud, but they feel weirdly comfortable.

Hanbin wants to be able to comfort Hao when he’s drunk after all.

The next letter is sitting at his doorstep just the day before they all plan to go camping, and Hanbin mentally thanks his admirer for taking his own schedule into account. He doesn’t want to deal with any questions his neighbours might have.

The letter is tied to a little box, wrapped together with a soft yellow bow, and the theme seems so intensely summery that Hanbin can’t help the smile tugging on his lips.

It’s getting hotter outside after all, and he does really like the heat.

He needs to go pack soon and he really needs to stop procrastinating on fixing that sleeping bag he’s supposed to share with Hao… but the letter gives him more than enough reasons to blissfully ignore that.

The letter is sealed with the same washi tape as the second letter, and Hanbin carefully takes it off before sticking it on his arm. If he forgets to take it off… Well, that will be a problem for later.

Dear Hanbin,

I finally perfected the art of making you these. I recall telling you about my adventures while learning a new craft a while ago – and I finally got the chance to properly make them. I hope my efforts will not be in vain. Even though I cannot see you, your smile must be the most blinding thing right now. I hope you realise how every single one of them clears up my day; I tried to make these match your outfits. I hope to see you wear them at least once.

Just thinking of you leaves me dizzy. My head starts spinning every time we are close to each other; my balance seems to only worsen whenever I lock eyes with you. No one has my heart the way you do; no one seems to complete my soul the way you do.

Our beloved little birdie mentioned a camping trip – I hope you tremendously enjoy your time with your friends. Is it too much to ask of you to not be too close to others, and only keep your eyes set on me? Somehow, when it comes to you, I want to indulge myself and be selfish.

The summer heat is swelling my heart to the point of bursting. I will keep my feelings to me for just a little longer. Be patient, Hanbin.

I have always belonged only to you.

Yours for as long as you’ll let me,

…

A blush takes over his entire face by the time he finishes reading. His stomach flutters as he carefully picks up the little box, staring at the packaging. They really know exactly what’s going on in his life, and Hanbin wonders which one of his friends they bullied for this info.

Not that they’d tell him, anyways. The people who know he has a secret admirer all refuse to even give him a hint, especially Hao.

“Oh, Hanbin-hyung!” Matthew cheerfully greets him as he opens the front door. His best friend sounds absolutely giddy coming back from his date (“Not a date, hyung.”), and Hanbin momentarily pauses his own crisis to hear him out.

“Okay so, Jiwoon-hyung took me to this dog café. It was so cute, I absolutely adore dogs, and seeing them with him was the cutest! I really had so much fun, hyung,” Matthew rambles, a lovesick smile appearing on his face. Hanbin tries (and fails) not to swoon. “But he’s apparently allergic to them! Can you believe he still wanted to go even though he ended up sneezing so much? He really is so cool!”

Hanbin sighs, shaking his head with a smile. Of course Jiwoong would end up going to a dog café simply because Matthew asked him to. After all, no one is able to resist Matthew’s smile. “What happened to you not being in love with him, Matthew-ya?”

Matthew whines in response, lightly hitting his arm as he pouts. “Stop teasing me, Hanbin-hyung. What happened to you not being in love with Hao-hyung, huh?”

The words fall past his lips before he notices, but Matthew’s eyes widen in panic as he realises what he just said. He waves his arms around, trying his best to take the attention elsewhere.

“In love with… Hao-hyung,” Hanbin repeats, voice quiet and unsure. The fluttering in his stomach is starting to feel more like anxiety by the second, and he wills his voice not to waver. “What do you mean, Seok-mae?”

Matthew apparently decides to take pity on him, as he sits down. His eyes soften as he places a hand on Hanbin’s, quietly intertwining their fingers. “It’s just… you always look at him like he hung the stars in the sky all by himself. You two sometimes feel like two halves of a whole, you know? I’m sorry, hyung, I thought you already knew about your feelings.”

Thinking about it, it does feel very logical.

Hao is absolutely stunning. He has been Hanbin’s role model for a while now, somehow always impressing him by just merely existing, and Hanbin doesn’t know how people can manage to not fall for Hao.

But… Hanbin having feelings for him suddenly changes everything. 

He looks up, staring into Matthew’s eyes. “Wouldn’t that be such a betrayal to the person who’s writing me letters, though? They’re putting in all that effort and care only for me to be in love with the one person who’d never be interested in me. Hao-hyung is way out of my league, Seok-mae... And I like this mystery person as well by now.”

Matthew smiles, squeezing his hand. “Hyung, don’t worry too much about it. I’m sure it’ll be alright.”  

Hanbin shakily smiles at him, squeezing his hand back before releasing it. He toys with the ribbon on the box his secret admirer gifted him. He should focus on this for now. His feelings for Hao (if they truly are feelings, because Hanbin can’t have a crush on him. Hao’s his best friend .) will have to wait; it would be disrespectful to not pay attention to the gift.

So he gently unwinds the ribbon, opening the box with all the care in the world. It falls open, revealing a dark blue inside, and-

Paper rings fall out.

They’re all made of different coloured paper. Hanbin spots a slight blue one that matches the exact shade of his favourite hoodie, and a bright yellow one that would look great with the shirt he always steals from Hao.

They all have little stars drawn on them.

Matthew gasps next to him, gingerly picking up a light orange one. “Hyung, I think these match your tattoo.”

On closer inspection, the stars drawn on them do in fact resemble the stars Hanbin has tattooed on his chest. They look perfect. His secret admirer must have put a lot of time into learning exactly how to draw them, and Hanbin smiles.

His heart skips a beat when he takes them all out. They make a perfect rainbow, and he squints his eyes at the shining gem still left in the box.

It’s a ring.

An actual steel ring, coloured golden. It hasn’t been folded by his mystery writer, it has been bought by them. Hanbin flushes. This must have been the most expensive thing ever. It certainly looks expensive.

“Come on hyung, take it out,” Matthew says, awe colouring his voice. By the look of it, his eyes have widened as well. Hanbin almost doesn’t dare to even touch it.

But he does, and the ring fits his left hand perfectly. The band looks tiny but fits perfectly on his finger, accentuating it. There’s a golden plate on top, with baby blue gems on it. They’re in the shape of his zodiac constellation.

It looks absolutely beautiful.

He carefully takes it off, putting it back into the box, and rereads the letter. They’re putting so much love into this. Next to him, Matthew sighs. “Damn, hyung. I didn’t expect them to buy you that .”

Hanbin doesn’t really know how to reply to that, so he just nods. He takes another look at the letter, folds it back together and puts a cheery smile on his face. “Come on, Seok-mae. Let’s go pack for our trip.”

Maybe if he focuses on this trip hard enough, he’ll stop feeling guilty.

He ends up wearing the ring to their trip anyways. He does want to take his admirer with him; they went through all the trouble of getting him something that pretty. He can’t just leave it and never wear it.

Hao is the first to spot it. He sends Hanbin a confused glance, his cheeks tinted a pretty light pink, and it takes all of his focus to not stare at how gorgeous Hao looks without makeup. Instead, he laughs. “A gift I got. Isn’t it pretty, hyung?”

The dazzling smile he gets from Hao in return almost makes him trip on his way to the car.

Their ride to the camping site is chaos, as he expected. He’s stuck with Hao and ‘the kids’ in one car, with Gyuvin and Ricky who are obnoxiously making out, and Gunwook who keeps complaining about their PDA.

He tries to tell them off before he gets distracted by the sight of Hao’s hands on the steering wheel and pointedly ignores Gunwook’s eyeroll.

Setting up the tent takes a lot longer than he expected, though – Taerae proves himself to be a pro at setting up tents, and Hanbin shyly smiles back at him when he winks. Taerae does look really pretty, he muses.

They all sit around the campfire, slowly leaving to go to bed, until it’s just him and Hao.

Hao smiles at him. “I saw your new ring, Hanbin-ah. Did someone important to you get it for you?” There’s a strange edge to his tone like he knows more than Hanbin does, and it throws him off for a second.

“Ah, hyung. To be honest with you, I’m not entirely sure how important they are to me,” he sighs, slowly laying his head on Hao’s lap. “I got them from the anonymous writer I told you about. They do seem to really know a lot about me, though.”

A choked-off laugh falls past Hao’s lips as he starts playing with Hanbin’s hair. “Maybe they’re just not ready to reveal themselves to you yet, Hanbinnie.”

Hanbin hums in response. “They did tell me they’d reveal themselves when the time was right, though. I hope it’ll be soon, I don’t want to hope for it to be someone who might not even like me.”

There’s a sharp intake of breath as Hao freezes beneath him, hands stilling in his hair. The night suddenly seems a lot quieter – and vaguely dark. What if Hao guesses he’s in love with him?

Hanbin awkwardly chuckles, gently nudging Hao as he speaks up again. “I guess we’ll find out soon, right? Don’t worry hyung, I’ll always be your best friend. Hey, do you see that bright light up in the sky right there?”

“It looks like a star to me,” Hao says, gently tracing a pattern on Hanbin’s shoulders.

Hanbin beams in return, giddy at the prospect of Hao’s full attention on only him. “It looks a lot like a star, but it’s actually Venus! It’s the planet that’s usually most visible from Earth on most nights, and it shines so bright because the surface actually reflects a lot of light from the sun,” he rambles.

Hao smiles down at him, squeezing his hand as he continues.

“In that aspect, it actually reminds me a lot of the moon. Oh, hyung, did you know that our birth moons actually overlap perfectly?”

All he gets in return is a blank stare. Hanbin laughs. “The phases of the moon on the day we were born match! So they’re exactly the same. Some people actually think it’s a sign of being soulmates. I’m not too sure about that, but I do think it’s really cool. Don’t you think so?”

Hao chuckles, voice sounding strange and entirely forlorn to Hanbin as he replies with a, “I think everything is cool with you, Hanbin-ah.”

They fall asleep with their hands intertwined, Hao’s fingers wrapped around the ring on his finger.

The last letter he gets has a stamp of a rose on the back, drops of wax seal adorning it. There’s glitter everywhere when he opens it, little gems flying everywhere. Hanbin groans. Matthew is going to kill him if he doesn’t clean this up soon.

There’s no gift attached to the letter this time. It feels almost empty and bare, and Hanbin allows himself to feel disappointed for just a mere second. They’re not obligated to buy him presents in the slightest. It’s just… nice to get them with the letters.

Still, he opens the letter, a gasp falling past his lips when he notices the doodles and Chinese phrases written down on it. The Korean part is still printed, and Hanbin tries his best not to skip any parts as he reads over it.

Dear Hanbin,

I thought I would notify you when I decided to finally step up and own up to my feelings, and I think the timing is right. I originally planned to send you a last letter to give in to my doubts, but I want this to work out so badly.

You’re my polar star in the dark night, my Venus reflecting all of the sun’s light. Oh, how I long to keep you close, holding you in my arms for as long as this world will let me.

Hanbin, you are the most talented individual I have ever met. Every little detail about your existence continues to take my breath away, every second I spent with you disappears in the traces of time before I even notice.

You continue to inspire me every day.

You are my muse as much as you are my artist, the sun complimenting my moon. You sow seeds into my landscape during the darkest of times and water my crops when I myself am unable to.

Sometimes I wonder what you must think of me like this, hunched over a desk as I roll up my sleeve. You must think I’m mad for letting it continue like this. Perhaps you would laugh, gently pulling me up from my chair. I hope for it to be the latter.

By now the flowers I’ve bought you have hopefully arrived. Don’t let them get bad – put them in a vase before you leave to come to find me.

I’ll be waiting for you, Hanbin.

Yours with love,

…

Just as the letter predicts, the doorbell rings the second Hanbin finishes reading the Korean part. He gently puts the letter down before he almost races towards the door. The delivery boy takes a mere glance at him before pushing a bouquet into his hands.

“Have a nice day!” Hanbin yells as he stares at the retracting figure, trying his best not to glance down at the bouquet until he’s back inside.

It’s quite a simple bouquet of mixed red, pink and white roses, but Hanbin immediately recognises their meaning. Love, admiration and longing. He flushes, staring at it for a little longer before he decides to put it in a vase like his admirer told him to.

The flowers look gorgeous.

Matthew whistles when he walks into the living room, grinning at Hanbin. “Loverboy got you a bouquet this time, huh?”

Hanbin groans, ready to complain about how he doesn’t know who his secret writer is, when suddenly the penny drops. He gapes at Matthew before he sprints upstairs. The letters are neatly put together on his desk, and his heart skips a beat when he reads through the hints again.

Even with the handwriting in Mandarin; it can’t be anyone other than him .

Matthew shoots him a knowing smile when he sprints downstairs, hurriedly putting on his shoes and slinging his jacket over his shoulder. “Tell him I said hi!”

Hanbin knows he has never taken the wrong train before in his life, but he double-checks just to be sure. The train isn’t moving fast enough and he impatiently taps on the window with his fingers.

There’s only one person who would do this, and there’s only one person who loves him enough to write him a song. Hanbin smiles, giddy at the thought of playing it for him, and sprints out of the station.

He almost gets lost on his way to the practice room even though he’s been there a million times, and he nervously fixes his hair. He breathes in, and breathes out, and-

He knocks on the door once, then twice, and patiently waits until Hao tells him it’s fine to come in.

Hanbin smiles, relishing in the way he knows exactly when Hao realises. His eyes widen, his ears flush a deep red and he hurriedly puts down his violin to let Hanbin in. He looks absolutely stunning in his hoodie, with his hair all messy.

He smiles brightly at Hao, not quite ready to let him know he knows . “Hao-hyung! I got bored in my apartment since Seok-mae is on a date with Jiwoong-hyung, so I thought I’d come to visit.”

There’s a moment of silence before Hao visibly relaxes, propping up his left sleeve just a bit more. “Of course, Hanbin-ah. I was just practising my performance for the next show, but you can watch it if you’d like.”

“Actually, hyung,” Hanbin starts, grinning at the panicked look in Hao’s eyes. “I wanted to show you a song I’ve been practising on the piano a lot lately. I think I’m finally getting better at it, so I wanted you to be the first one to hear it.”

Hao nods, a small smile on his face, and wordlessly sits down on the ground.

He trusts him. Hao truly trusts him with everything in his life, and something warm and greedy blooms in Hanbin’s chest.

So he sits down, hands shaking as he places his fingers on the right keys, and he starts playing. He hears Hao gasp after he plays just the first few notes, and he lets the giddy smile take over. He rushes through it, fingers fumbling with the keys and eyes trained on Hao.

Hao stares at him. His fingers are fidgeting with his sleeve. There’s a bright blush on his cheeks, and he opens his mouth to talk, but-

Hanbin beats him to it.

“Hao-hyung, I think I’m in love with you.”

The words hang between them, like syrupy sugar sticking onto any surface it can find. And he doesn’t want to hear that he got the wrong person, that he made a mistake, so Hanbin pulls the letters out of his pocket and starts reading them out loud.

“You leave me entranced as if the way you move puts a spell on all of my limbs until I succumb to the dance that’s only for you, for us together,” he reads out, eyes locked on Hao.

Hao slowly gets up from the floor as he continues reading, mortification present on his face. He has gotten more than just a little pale.

Hanbin shakily breathes out, folding up the piece of paper. “I reread them so many times. I wasn’t sure what to do with them exactly, but reading them brought me so much comfort. I love all the gifts so much, hyung.”

“How did you find out?” Hao whispers, voice low and uncertain. “Did Matthew tell you?”

“Matthew knew?” Hanbin stares at him, eyes widened and shock evident in his voice. His gaze softens, and he reaches forward until he’s holding Hao’s hands in his own. “He would never. I just read some things that reminded me of you. Only you roll up your one sleeve like that, hyung.”

Hao visibly exhales. His shoulders are still raised, doubt clear in his eyes, and Hanbin can’t help but pull him closer.

“I think mostly, I just really wanted it to be you,” Hanbin breathes out, squeezing his hands.

The look Hao sends him is nothing short of incredulous, and then a soft smile tugs on his lips. It’s the most relaxed Hanbin has seen him look so far, and he smiles back in relief. “Hanbin-ah, I still have something for you.”

Hanbin looks up in surprise, comfortable warmth and nerves pooling in his stomach. “What is it?”

Hao laughs, squeezing his hand as he hands him a white envelope. “See for yourself.”

Dear Hanbinnie,

I think I’ve always been in love with you. From the day we met, my eyes have never strayed too far from you, and I’m so happy you chose me to be your best friend.

Thank you for always being in my life. Thank you for letting me see your bright side, for letting me hold your hand through the hard times, and thank you for being so unapologetically you that it’s impossible for me to not love you.

I’d like to think I found the courage to say this because of you. You teach me every day what it’s like to be alive, and I can’t wait to rush into every next adventure with you if you’ll let me.

To the other half of my soul, the perfect match to my moon, and the boy I’d like to spend the rest of my life with: 我喜 欢你 , 사랑해 , I love you.

With love, as always,

Zhang Hao