Archive of Our Own ^beta

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spiderkids

Miles: yall remember when miguel was chasing me on all fours?

Cause I surely do

N nb helped

Hobie: I was there in spirit

Pav: atleast he said sorry miles ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

Gwen: yea and I’m sorry too miles

Miles: All of y’all can kill yourselves :/ 🖕🏾

Pav: (・Д・)

Miles: except pav

Pav: (⌒▽⌒)

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the only relevant Spider-Man’s (excluding miles)

Miles: who put the chat name like this

I just wanna talk

Hobie: wbk it was miguel

Miles: @miguel Espero que te caigas en un puto río y te unas a tu perra gorda hija en el infierno donde perteneces apestas gordo feo asqueroso hijo de puta Te mataré y haré que te unas a tu inútil hija

Miguel: si vuelvo a clavar tu estúpido trasero en el tren, me aseguraré de que no vuelvas a ver la luz del día, confía

Miles: si lo haces me asegurare de que te vayas con quemaduras en todo el cuerpo otra vez perra, no me pruebes

Miguel: bitchass

Miguel is offline

Gwen: seems to me that miles won that argument

Hobie: wowww u don’t sayyyy

Peter: miles calm down on Miguel

Miles: zip his pants up when you done dick riding

Jessica: he ate you up

Pav: real (*☻-☻*)

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spiderkids

Miles: I got these fucking chicken nuggets from my doordasher and why they taste like fuckin dick

Rhat mf was puttin his dick cheese in my nuggets??

Gwen: ofc you’d know what dick tastes like :/

Pav: (*☻-☻*)

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the only relevant Spider-Man’s (excluding miles)

Miles: are we ever gonna change this fuckinf chat name

Miguel: no.

Miles: smd

Peter: anyways guys!!!

Miles: don’t nb care

Gwen: well damn

Pav: what’s wrong with u miles (　ﾟдﾟ)

Miles: nothing

Hobie: hmm
I sense ur lying

Miles: that’s exactly why ur queen died

Hobie: ok.

Jessica: anyways
Tell us what u were gonna tell us Peter

Peter: right..
Anyways, mayday took her first words and she’s 2!!

Miles: I said my first word at 1
Mays not special

Miguel: damn

Gwen: well damn

Peter: 🙁

Gwen: anyways! My dad let me back in the house!!

Miles: my parents never kicked me out
N my dad didn’t never try to arrest me
Ur not special

Gwen: 😢

Hobie: fucks up w u

Miles: shut up

Hobie: ok

Miles: I hope u all kill yourselves

Miles is offline

Pav: hobie pls go check on ur bf (＞＜)!!!

Hobie: I can’t he blocked me on everything, even Spotify and Pinterest

Jessica: damn

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when miles finally unblocked hobie

hobie: r u ok?

miles: no

hobie: why?

miles: bc those dick nuggets made my fucking stomach and head hurt

hobie: nigga 😐

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spiderkids

miles: i told my mom when i grow up I’d want to be like haley dunphy

gwen: andddd???

miles: im nothing like her but I’m working on it
trust me

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the only relevant Spider-Man’s (excluding miles)

Miguel: Peter why are you on feet findr w googled women feet

Peter: bc I need cash

Hobie: why are u even on that shit bruv

Miguel: go to sleep hobie.

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the only relevant Spider-Man’s (excluding miles)

hobie: peter is a certified dick sucker

gwen: fr

pav: they are so loud _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):
i hope they both die in a tragic car crash （＾ν＾）

jessica: I didn’t need to know this

peter: kids mind yall business

miguel: please.

miles: y’all are so loud man

gwen: i cry myself to sleep bc of that

pav: real ^o^

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the only relevant Spider-Man’s (excluding miles)

miguel: i got accused of being racist at McDonald’s bruh

peter: wtf why?

miguel: I was being racist at McDonald’s???

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spiderkids on FaceTime

hobie: miles u talk so loud bruv

miles: my honest reaction
*starts playing I’ll be ur blond tonight if that’s what u like*

gwen: miles is literally so real

pav: on god

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spiderkids

gwen: so nun of y’all was gonna tell me venom and eddie had a kid together

hobie: no

pav: ^ ^

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the only relevant Spider-Man’s (excluding miles)

miles: im in desperate need of weed
if I don’t get it imma go crazy and kill myself

jessica: what u need is to go to therapy

peter: yeah go to spider-therapist! He’s great

miles: the gun is in my mouth as we speak

gwen: MILES OMG

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spiderkids

pav: miles r u like goth now? (　ﾟдﾟ)

miles: huh??

pav: u only listen to trad goth and indie rap music but mostly goth (*'▽'*)

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spiderkids

miles: hobie ur real name is HOBART brown

hobie: stop

pav: HOBART (*ﾟ∀ﾟ*)

hobie: STOPP

gwen: sorry HOBART

hobie: ok gwanda.

gwen: literally kys

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the only relevant Spider-Man’s (excluding miles)

miles has added 2 people

miles: welcome to hell (don’t mind the chat name)

peni: me personally i wouldn’t let Miguel do that to me!! That’s just me tho

margo: I’d handle that miles

miguel: he ain’t gon do shit

miles: June 16, 2023 9:46 PM.

gwen: anyways
ive decided to try out a new style
trashy y2k
how do I look

peter: u look cunty

gwen: that’s all I needed

gwen is offline

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Jessica and Miguel

miguel: jess

jessica: what

miguel: should i start smoking??

jessica has blocked miguel

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spider kids on FaceTime

gwen: so miles abt that date u set on Miguel..what’s that about?

pav: yea!

hobie: yea mate! sumn crazy gunna happen?

miles: don’t even worry about allat

(A/n im not a brit saur sorry)

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spiderkids

miles has added 2 people

gwen: guys!!

hobie: wtf do u want

margo: rt

pav: guys stop _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

peni: me personally gwen i wouldn’t take that

gwen: anyways
guys
im a lesbian

miles: wowwww like we totally did not knowwww
surprisinggggg

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spiderkids

gwen: i don’t think it’s normal to take the amount of naps miles and pav take
separated

margo: how many do they take

hobie: like 3-7

peni: wth..

gwen: their both takinf a nap rn

margo: how do yk?

gwen: bc they both texted me and i quote “im gonna take a nap”

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spiderkids

margo: can we all agree that pav and miles are literally autistic

gwen: yes

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the only relevant Spider-Man’s (excluding miles)

gwen: it’s two hours until miles said time

peter: @miles u don’t don’t have to do this 😅

hobie: certified dick rider award goes to: PETER B PARKER!!!

margo: damnnnn
i personally would handle that peter

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the only relevant Spider-Man’s (excluding miles)

margo: it’s one more hour

peni: y’all realize how miles hasn’t been on inna while

peter: damn

hobie: that’s what u get for dick munchibg

pav: if something does happen I won’t feel bad and I’d defend miles till the end (☝︎ ՞ਊ ՞)☝︎!!

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the only relevant Spider-Man’s (excluding miles)

hobie: tell me why i was walking near miguels office or wtv and I hear bombs and Miguel screaming..
like blood curdling screaming

gwen: omg..
he didn’t

margo: I think he did

jessica: should we go check on him and send miguel to medbay?

peter: YES????

pav: nah i think he’s fine ^o^

margo: well if pav says he’s fine then he’s fine 🤷🏽♂️

hobie: let’s deal w it tomorrow

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the only relevant Spider-Man’s (excluding miles)

miles: hai hai guys :-)

gwen: what happened to miguel??

miles: oh nothing really
we just talked

jessica: tell me why miguel looks like a electrocuted and burnt corpse

peter: WHATTT
MILES WHAT DID U DO

miles: （╹◡╹）

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spiderkids

miles: i remember my first spider suit
and how my uncle tried to kill me
like wtf my eyes n everything was showing
how did he not know it was me

margo: damnnnn

peni: I’d personally get my lick back

miles: nun i can do now his ass 6 ft under
i typed that with tears and snot coming down my face

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spiderkids

miles: my head hurts

pav: same (*´-`)

gwen: y’all will love

miles: June 18, 2023 8:55 PM.

miles is offline
pav is offline

gwen: WTF???

margo: this is ur fault btw

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the only relevant Spider-Man’s (excluding miles)

hobie: 12 got me 🙁

peter: wtf how??

hobie: i was at a protest
and they got my ass
it’s alr imma escape

miles: I got a bf in jail now 😝

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spiderkids

gwen: is it normal for a person to sleep from 10 to 4?

margo: no???
why

miles: stfu margo yes it is

pav: right (￣^￣)ゞ

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spiderkids

gwen: so miles and pav
abt that date..??

margo: what happened??

gwen: nothinf

10 minutes later

gwen: why did i come home and my whole house is burned down.

hobie: now ur really homeless

peni: damnnnn
i wouldn’t let that slide
that’s jus me tho

margo: right
I’d do sum abt that

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the only relevant Spider-Man’s (excluding miles)

peter: good morning guys
how did you all sleep

gwen: i slept at HQ
bc miles n pav burned down my house

jessica: damn
anyways I slept great
the baby didn’t even kick the whole night

miguel: i can’t sleep
I still have nightmares of miles

hobie: anyways
I slept uhm

margo: wdnc
but i slept amazing!

peni: i slept w all of my plushies
I have 34

peter: that’s great!
Miles and pav how did u guys sleep

miles: was tossing and turning all night
i couldn’t sleep.

pav: my insomnia kicked in ^_^

peter: …

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spiderkids

miles: just woke up from the most finger shaking nap ever
like literally my thumbs are shaking rn

pav: same (o^^o)

gwen: you guys need to stop sleeping sm

miles: but aren’t u sleeping in a hotel rn?
pipe down

margo: DAMN BABE
he read u

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spiderkids

miles: erm so me and pav were playing with fire and tape

gwen: wtf why?

pav: for entertainment duh ^_^

peni: continue

miles: and pav decided to put the tape in the candle fire

pav: the tape was on fire and almost burned my finger (*´Д｀*)

hobie: i love them fire crazy

miles: BOY

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spiderkids

margo: y’all hear abt the submarine billionaires

miles: I did
what a waste of people
they could’ve gave they money to me 😒

gwen: people lost their lives??…

miles: they signed a waiver saying that they might die
can’t feel to bad for them

peni: right
if u care sm go into the ocean and save them

pav: i woulda made BANK if I was apart of they family (*´Д｀*)

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the only relevant Spider-Man’s (excluding miles)

jessica: miles with a decision of everyone (yes included pavitr)
we’ve decided to send u to the spider- therapist

miles: pav u traitor

pav: sorry (*´Д｀*)

at therapy (with everyone present)

spider therapist: so miles tell me
what have you been through

miles: uhmmm
well
my uncle died
my uncle tried to kill me
Uhmm I was chased by the entire spider verse simply because I wouldn’t let my dad die
I got sent to another universe and in that universe im a villain, I know right? IRONIC
I have a evil twin brother
He also tried to kill me
I was called a mistake
I really wasn’t supposed to be Spider-Man-

Miles stopped once he heard the pen drop

Spider therapist: dear god
Oh god

Spider therapist got up and walk out of the room

Jessica: uh..

Hobie: well tha went jus great ya?

Pav: miles I thought u did amazing
He said as he got up and hugged miles

Miles: if we’re really gonna blame someone
Blame Miguel

Pav let go of miles and they both walked out of the therapy room

Gwen: yea we’re blaming miguel

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spiderkids

miles: I made a candy cane knife

gwen: wth why?

miles: cause I wanted to?
i mean I was eating it normally and then boom!
Candy cane knife

pav: so creative (^з^)-☆

margo: that sounds cool ngl

miles: update
i stabbed my tongue

hobie: are u ok luv?

seen by miles at 4:01

gwen: omg
miles.

miles is offline

peni: I don’t think he’s ok

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spiderkids

pav: There is a void in my heart, I don’t know what it is quite yet and honestly it’s going to make me go insane if I don’t know what it is. (⌒▽⌒)

miles: I can hear the voices getting louder and louder by each passing second. My mental is weak I cannot keep this act going I must figure a way to stop them, because if I don’t..I just might go insane.

margo: wtf

gwen: omg..

peni: wow.

hobie: now that’s sum shit

peni has added noir to the chat

peni: noir scroll up

noir is online

noir: ok ^^
also hi guys! >^<

noir: oh lord. (*´Д｀*)
it’s like they were born in the 1930s and not me

gwen: more like they’re both mentally ill

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the only relevant Spider-Man’s (excluding miles)

peni has added noir

peni: welcome noir

noir: hi guys! ^o^

peter: hi noirrr!!

noir: i have great news
i just got accepted into my dream college! （＾ν＾）

margo: why r u 30 and just now going to college??

hobie: yea whys that mate? When u could be fighting against that elitist system

replying to margo: noir: im only 19??

miles: WHAT

pav: HUH? (・Д・)!!!

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spiderkids

miles: mami forgot to buy milk
now I’m eating dry cereal

gwen: u could’ve just come to my dimension and got some milk

miles: u drink the red top
i drink the blue top
we’re not the same

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spiderkids

pav: im watching Brooklyn 99 with miles (๑╹ω╹๑ )
Jake Peralta Is literally Me ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

miles: rosa Diaz is literally me
But a 15 year old Boy

gwen: i like amy

peni: ofc u do

margo: i personally really love gina
she’s so me

hobie: holt js me

noir: is it because ur gay and miles is ur bf? ٩(^‿^)۶

hobie: :/

miles: anyways terry is also me bc he can draw
i love him

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spiderkids

peni: lesbians say I

gwen: I

margo: I

miles: fuck lgb

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spiderkids

miles: me and pav made three tater tot sandwiches
we threw half of the last one away

pav: it got to greasy ( ´Д`)y━･~~

gwen: why were y’all eating that..

miles: why fucking not

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spiderkids

margo: miles and pav has pulled 13 all nighters
ten of them failed

pav: ok but three of them didn’t (*´ー｀*)

miles: we were up watching young sheldon

hobie: peak show

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the only relevant Spider-Man’s (excluding miles)

peter: tell me why i saw aunt may on feet findr

hobie: why are u on feet findr bruv

miles: i saw him look up miguels acc
his name is phat_ass_mig

miguel: fuck off morales.

gwen: you and aunt may should BURN IN HELL

pav: i agree (*´ー｀*)

jess: I come back online and this is what the fuck i find.

margo: miguel u should be ashamed

lyla has entered the chat

LYLA!: i leaked his shit to twt
im making bank
https://twitter.com/twinkuniverista/status/1674566802590892032?s=46&t=mo9-9YoqBB8miIG2lGgd2g

peni: BITCH OMG

miguel: LYLA U MF

LYLA!: GOTTA GO!

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the only relevant Spider-Man’s (excluding miles)

miguel: lyla.
why tf is ur twt bio “miguels feet finder: phat_ass_mig, 10: for toes only, 20: for bottom of the foot, 30: for the whole foot, cashapp: $bossbitchlyly”.!?

LYLA!: would u rather me wire money from ur bank account???
Or just steal ur platinum card

hobie: I’ve done that before
very easy to find

miles: i need that damn card

margo: literally evb in this gc has stolen his card
even mayday

peter: MAYDAY??

gwen: miguel is literally ur sugar daddy????

peter: ..

miguel: WTH???
AND LYLA REMOVE TS FROM UR BIO

LYLA!: stop trynna stop a lesbians grind
what u hate seeing lesbians succeed???

peni: wow miguel.

pav: really low of u (*´Д｀*)..

miles: ur fucked up bro.

hobie: can’t believe u mate

gwen: and here i thought u could show us lesbians some respect

margo: fuck u miguel.

miguel: PETER??
JESSICA??
HELP????

peter: kids stop that

jessica: or keep going wdnc

to peter: miles: certified dick rider ‼️‼️‼️

20 minutes later
everybody is online

miguel: tell me why my bank just informed me that I have -1397629394???

everybody is offline

miguel: WTF???

miguel is offline

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spiderkids

gwen: while at miles house
we ate his moms food and
tell me why pav and miles are knocked tf out after eating her food

margo: they ass got the itis

peni: hell im abt fo fall alslee

peni is offline

gwen: she fell asle

gwen is offline

margo: damn they tire

margo is offline

hobie: sam

hobie is offline

noir: they are tired as

noir is offline

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the only relevant Spider-Man’s (excluding miles)

margo: @peter @gwen when y’all see the n word on a text sent by a black person do y’all skip over the word or do y’all say it bc y’all are in the comfort of ur own home???
i need immediate answers

miles: wait hold on
u actually have a point rn

peni: oop noir u seein this??

noir: i kinda wanna know to ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)!!!

jess: well are y’all gonna answer???

peter: i don’t say it
bc if i did mj would jump me

gwen: i don’t say it

hobie: ion believe ‘em
they lyin

peni: LICK THEY ASS UP
YALL GOIN TO JAIL

pav: YALL GOIN TO JAIL ( ˊ̱˂˃ˋ̱ ) Xdddd

miles: YALL GOIN TO JAIL

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the only relevant Spider-Man’s (excluding miles)

miles: just saw the nair video
the gun is in my hand as we speak

gwen: DONT BRING THAT CIDEO UP

peter: omg..I just watched it

margo: not even a hi

peni: or a hello

pav: or a how are u.

hobie: that video was so bad it made pav not type with a emotion and w a period

noir: I hate it here.

peni: nahhhh it got noir and pav not usin emotions

LYLA!: that video was.
omg.

miguel: wtf are u guys talking abt
wtf is a bait video

peter: don’t look it up..

jess: or do wdc

miles: look it up on youtube
look up “kevin leonardo”
scroll until u see “nair”
☺️

margo: MILES LMG

miguel: ok???

5 seconds later

miguel: …

miles: how was it ☺️

miguel is offline

LYLA: miguels jaw is dropped
his eyes are wide
why miles

miles: i don’t fucking like him.

a/n do NOT look that up… or do idc im not ur parent

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the only relevant Spider-Man’s (excluding miles)

miles: GUYS

peter: what miles??

miles: i just saw miguel get fucking SLAMMED by peter parked and he slid across the mf hallway

peter: OMF IS HE OK???

margo: his grown ass SLIDDDD

to peter: miles: shi idk

peter: WDYM U DK???

miles: ian go check up on him
but im still here and he still not up yet
im not going to check on him
not after that incident

gwen: damn bro u petty

LYLA!: just saw miguel passed tf out in the hallway

peter: did u do something abt it????

LYLA!: yeah I did
I took a picture of his ass

peter: so nb cares if he’s hurt???

hobie: omg stop riding dick

peter: SO ME ACTUALLY WORRYING ABT HIM IS KE RIDING DICK????

hobie: yes bitch
he’ll live

miles: i think his ass is done for
i walked over there and tell me why he’s losing blood at a rapid pace???
imma jus walk away

peter: U HAVE TO HELP HIM MILES
HOLD UR GRUDGE AGAINST HIM FOR ONE MINUTE

miles: hell nah 😹😹
one minute too fuckinf long

peni: shii if i was him i wouldn’t help his ass either
he cray cray
and u only care abt him bc he pays ur bills and he lets u ride every now and then

peter: OMG IM COMING TO HELP

jess: what a dick rider

pav: that’s what I’m sayin (￣▽￣)

peter: i just got here and… omg

TBC

will miguel survive??? Find out in the next chapter

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the only relevant Spider-Man’s (excluding miles)

LYLA!: ok so one of the millions of peter parkers had took miguel to the infirmary

miles: damnit

peter: ???

LYLA!: anyways y’all can come visit

peter: let’s go everybody

hobie: i do really have to come mate??

miles: ^

gwen: ^^

pav: ^^ :-(

margo: ^^^

peni: ^^^^

noir: ^^^^^ :-/

jess: ^^^^^^

peter: UR ALL FUCKING COMING

peter is offline

miles: dick

everybody is offline

in the infirmary room

miguel: morales.
you saw me get hit and didn’t do anything??!

miles: i don’t like u
i was hoping you’d bleed out actually
i didn’t even want to come here
but ur loyal pet dog forced all of us

jess: yea miguel nobody really wants to be here
it’s all of our day off

gwen: exactly
and im so tired

miguel: what the hell? Don’t you guys care a little bit

everyone starts to scratch their head and look around (except peter)

miguel: bruh wtf

peni: I was kinda hoping you’d die

miles: yea bc if you’re dead we’d be able to get hella money from ur will

pav: i totally agree

hobie: I do aswell mate

noir: and we’d get all of ur platinum cards
you have 23 of them

miles: 22 i actually have one on me right now

miguel: GIVE ME MY FUCKING CARD MORALES

lyla: omg calm down mr mad pants

miles: fr
this card has 392 billion on it
you’ll live

hobie moved closer to miles and put his arm around miles

hobie: be a dear and buy me something yeah luv?

miles: no go die

hobie: so rude mate

gwen: anyways im going home

peni: same

peter: guys-

he didn’t even finish his sentence when multiple colorful portals opened and closed sending them to all of their designated worlds

mayday: pussy ass bitch got hit with a car

peter: MAYDAY!!

mayday grabbed peters wrist opened a portal and yanked him in to go home with her

miguel: lyla-

he didn’t see lyla bc she was alr gone

miguel: assholes

a/n there will be more chapters w Miguel in the infirmary room and getting annoyed/stolen from!! TOODLES (๑>◡<๑)

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the only relevant Spider-Man’s (excluding miles)

peni: guys should we go and visit miguel?

miles: no

pav: no -_-

hobie: nah

peter: YES???
AND UR ALL COMING

peter is offline

miles: ugh

at the infirmary…..again

miguel: idk why y’all mfs are here
u all left me

miles: it’s because we don’t like you

jess: and because it was our day off

gwen: yeah all of that

lyla: he’s been grumpy
hasn’t been taking his meds

hobie: ay! Not cool mans take ur meds ya? (idk how british people talk sorry)

peni: hobie ur to fucking british for ur own good

hobie: ay mate! Don’t be a wanker (wanker *snort* 🤓☝🏽)

miles: nerd

hobie: but u luv me innit?? (innit *snort snort* 🤓)

miles: unfortunately

margo: no homosexuality allowed

miguel: thank you-

pav: don’t you take it up the ass?
shut the fuck up

miguel: I AM NOT GAY!

lyla: WOAH WOAH MIGUEL! Calm tf down

peni: right
we not gettin payed enough for u to be acting like that

gwen: he doesn’t even pay miles

margo: it’s cause of the racism

miles: he for the triple k

miguel: dios mio! I am not a racist!

miles: then why aren’t u paying me?

miguel: because you stole my fucking card?!

miles: pav and gwen AND peter has stolen ur card
you never called them out
racist ass hoe

miguel: I AM NOT! You know what? Everyone go tf home leave me tf alone shit

miles: peni, gwen, hobie, pav, margo y’all wanna hang out?

peni: sure

gwen: ok

hobie: I’d be delighted to do anyfing (:3) with you luv

pav: okayy!!

margo: im down

all of the teens left

jess: welp
bye Miguel

jess left

peter: im so sorry for-

mayday: bitchass

mayday opened a portal and yanked her father in w her to go home

miguel: lyla?

lyla was gone

miguel: im gonna kill myself.

a/n yes i kinda did make fun of brits but idc! TOOTLES (#^.^#)

Chapter Text

the only relevant Spider-Man’s (excluding miles)

miles: I really don’t wanna go visit him today peter

peter: well we’re going

miles: what if my mom just got diagnosed w cancer?

peter: now.

in the infirmary…once again

lyla: hello everybody
the nurse said that Miguel should be released tomorrow

miguel: why tf are u all here again?

hobie: don’t be gettin all pissy mate, we didn’t want to be ‘ere

miles: fr
plus you get released tomorrow

they all go home except peter

peter: sorry about them

miguel: it’s ok baby

mayday: time to go

peter leaves

miguel: im not even gonna ask for lyla-

lyla: im still here but for that I’ll leave

lyla leaves

miguel: so glad i get released tomorrow DAMN!

Chapter Text

the only relevant Spider-Man’s (excluding miles)

Peter: so since Miguel is getting released today
I thought that we could throw him a release party

Who’s down?

Miles: not me

Margo: ^

Gwen: ^^

Pav: ^^^ :-/

Hobie:^^^

Jess: ^^^^

Peni: ^^^^^

Peter: brah..

Why do you guys hate Miguel

Miles is typing

Peter: I don’t even wanna know anymore

Miles has stopped typing

Peter: ur all coming

And helping

You too lyla I can see u stalking

LYLA!: fuck you Peter

Everyone is offline

Peter basically bought everything bc nb didn’t want to (he used Miguel’s card tho)

Peter: ok so peter parked car has gone to pick him up

Miles: the same mf that made him end up in the hospital is going to pick him up??

Peter: he did it as an apology

In the distance they here a car

Peter: ok everybody hide I want it to be a surprise

Gwen: come on Peter..

Peter: hide!

They all hid while miles was invisible behind pav

Miguel comes in with Peter parked car and gets out

Miguel: thanks Peter

Peter: no problem! And I’m sorry again

Peter leaves

Miguel: jesus chris-

Everybody pops out and yells surprise but only Peter with happiness in his tone… the rest sound unhappy, bored or they simply didn’t want to be there

Peter: SURPRISE!! Aww we missed you

Jess: we?

Peni: right

Peter: ok well I missed you

Peter walks up and pulls him in a side hug

Peter: sooo??

Miguel: so?

Peter: look at ur party!

Miguel: this looks like a 10 year olds birthday party

But atleast u got candy bags

Hobie: and he got vanilla buttercream ice cream cake!

Pav: the only good thing about this sorry ass party

They all take a slice of cake and they all take a candy bag and all of the teens and Jess leaves

Mary comes through the portal

Mary: hand of may

You’ve had her too long

Peter: *sigh* ok

He hands over mayday

Mary: thanks

She walks back in the portal

Peter: now that their all gone

Let’s take this to the bed shall we?

They go to their shared and “secret” bedroom and fuck the end.

Chapter Text

the only relevant Spider-Man’s (excluding miles)

Miguel: miles where are you?

Miles: home? In the comfort of be mf bed tf?

Miguel: we’ll come to the HQ

miles: boy get yo fat back ass off my mf phone

Chapter Text

In earth 1610

Friday August 25th

Miles woke up with a slight headache “weird ass headache ugh”

but he still got his ass up, he wasn’t gonna waste his summer break

so he woke up and the first person he saw was his mom “good morning miles”

“good morning mami” he ate breakfast and took a shower and went back in his room

He went to check him phone just to see nobody online, “weird.” he thought “oh well I’ll just check the watch” so he got up and checked the watch. Nobody.“weird ass shit what the fuck?”

so after trying both options he just guessed that everybody was busy doing shit that he didn’t care about so he just went on by his day annoying tf outta ganke

Miles: GANKE WANKEEE

Ganke: don’t ever call me that
What’s up?

Miles: tried to check the Spider-Man gc n nun of them mfs was online
Like they literally have no lives why tf are they not online

Ganke: they probably busy 😭
And you should be the last mf to say they have no lives

Miles: ik u nkt talkin.

Ganke: I know you not talking*

Miles: do u wish for slavery to come back or sum.

Ganke: MILES

Miles: u hate me bc im a blackie
Ok gan gan

Miles is offline

Ganke: MILES
BRO
ISTG

Miles is online

Miles: (＞人＜;)
Wuv u

Miles is offline

Ganke: :/

Ganke is offline

Chapter Text

miles: gankeeee

ganke: what miles

miles: I’m so pissed rn

ganke: why?

miles: bc i have to pee but I don’t feel like getting up

ganke: miles get ur lazy ass up and go pee 😭😭??

miles: but I don’t feel like ittttt

ganke: miles morales if I come over to ur house it’s not gonna be pretty

miles: fine I’ll go pee
I was so comfortable to :/
Just had to ruin it

ganke: you’ll thank me when you don’t piss urself

Chapter Text

spiderkids

miles: are we not gonna talk abt how hobart lowkey sounds like a harry potter typa name??

Gwen: AND HIS HOUSE WOULD EITHER BE HUFFLEPUFF OR GRYFFINDOR

miles: IM SAYIN

hobie: fuck both of y’all
u guys ain’t nun but a bunch of harry potter nerds

pav: idk im on the second movie ( ´ ▽ ` )
they got my ass locked in (*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)

gwen: SEE?? EVEN PAV LOVES IT

miles: im on the third movie and PHEW

gwen: hobie i alr got half of our friend group in hobie.
like they always say “if u can’t beat ‘em, join em”

hobie: ……
fine.

gwen: YESSSS

Chapter Text

the only relevant Spider-Man’s (excluding miles)

miles: I got a small dick

pav: but wait till it get hard xp

peni: she gon be like

hobie: damn!

gwen: shit!

margo: my god!

noir: put that thang up before u ram it in my stomach xd!

LYLA!: shut yo ass up and take this wee wee like a woman!

Miguel: u guys are so fucking weird

miles: and u take it up the ass but we don’t say nun

Chapter Text

spidervamp

miles: yall hobie wants to go thru my phone
And normally that’ll be ok but then I gotta remember
Abt this gc

margo: oh hell nah
He can’t go thru this one

peni: fr we be talkin mad shit
And we be plotting

pav: tell his ass no (^_-)

miles: alr hold on

2 minutes later

miles: ok he said he wouldn’t
Bc if he said no I woulda

margo: u woulda nothing sit yo ass down

peni: fr talkin all big n shit ur not gonna do nothinggg

miles: man fuck y’all :/

Chapter Text

hai i got a harry potter chatfic ! I’d appreciate it if u all went and read it but if u don’t wanna dw! It’s no pressure (yes it is, go read it it’s absolutely hilarious.) TOOTLES

Chapter Text

hobie: ily

miles: aww i love me too!
I’m sorry
Ilyt

hobie: YIPPE

Chapter Text

the only relevant Spider-Man’s (excluding miles)

peter: guys we haven’t talked in here for so long

miles: that’s bc the author had different interests

hobie: fake ass

gwen: nah Fr like..
And I’m still homeless

pav: we did not ask ^_^！!

margo: fr tho wdnc

peni: in need of a glock.
These mf villains ain’t bulletproof

miles: neither is miguel

miguel: wtf i do?

miles: be alive

LYLA!: im so bored i might js leak miguels peter whimpering file

peter: LYLA DONT U DARE

jess: do it lyla

miles: EWW OETER U NASTY WHITE MAN

hobie: GODDAMN U DIRTY BITCH

noir: literally disgusting. ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(;￣◇￣)┘

pav: fr ( ´Д`)y━･~~

gwen: im gonna kill u two

margo: FUCK EM UP BABE

peni: I’d record ts