Chapter Text
Ellie didn't react for a second after she screamed. She sat there frozen in fear as Harry stared back at them with empty eyes.
She slowly crawled over to where his body fell, and with trembling hands, reached up to touch his face.
"Ha... Harry?" Ellie asked softly and pitifully.
His skin was still warm to the touch, as if he were just sleeping, and there were no visible signs that he was even hurt.
"Harry, wake up," Ellie said softly, but still he just lay there not uttering a sound or movement.
The pain in her ribs and lung no longer mattered. She couldn't feel it anymore, to be honest, and all that mattered was waking Harry up so they could go home.
"Harry, please wake up!" Ellie said, louder this time as she gripped his shoulder and shook it.
"Mum," a voice said from beside her. "I... I don't think he's gonna wake up."
Ellie ignored her daughter as she continued to shake Harry's shoulder, all the while telling him to wake up.
Isabella tried to grab her hand, but she pushed it away. "Don't!" she said heatedly. "He's just sleeping, see? He'll wake up. I know he will. He wouldn't leave us. He promised!"
She could hear her daughter crying but couldn't turn away from Harry as she continued to whisper to him.
She didn't notice when the door opened or the arrival of other people in the room. She didn't even jerk away when strong arms wrapped her from behind. "C'mon, Ellie," a voice she barely registered as Ron saying, "Let's get you and Isabella out of here."
"No!" Ellie said forcefully. "I'm not leaving until he wakes up. He's just sleeping. He's going to wake up. You'll see."
Robards swore softly.
"We need to get you to St Mungo's," Ron said as he began pulling her away from Harry.
Ellie began thrashing around in Ron's arms as he pulled her away from Harry's still body on the floor, but his grip remained strong.
Why couldn't they see? Why couldn't they admit that he was just sleeping and that he would wake up any time now?
"Ron, let me go," she pleaded frantically as she fought in his arms. "He needs me. He'll want me to be there when he wakes up."
"He's not going to wake up, Ellie," Ron said softly to her.
Ellie finally turned away from Harry for the first time since he fell and looked at Ron. He was looking at her with such an utter look of sympathy and sorrow that the tears she had been holding back finally broke free.
Her vision was beginning to blur and the pain from her side was back with a vengeance, but she didn't care.
The room was now full of at least half a dozen people, but she took no notice. She only had eyes for Harry who was still laying on the ground as she sobbed in Ron's arms.
Black spots started to appear in her vision as her breath began to come out in gasps. Just before she fell into unconsciousness, she saw Robards lean over and close Harry's eyes, and then she knew no more.
Hermione sighed as she wiped her bloodshot eyes. She turned to Isabella who looked even worse than she, and tried to smile, but couldn't quite manage it. Isabella's hand gripped her own, scared to let go as they both watched over Ellie asleep in her hospital bed. Isabella was nodding off but trying to stay awake.
"I want to be awake when Mum wakes up," she had said. "She's going to need me when she wakes up."
Hermione wanted to cry; she wanted to scream and shout that it wasn't fair, that Harry deserved more than this, that Ellie and Isabella deserved more. Her best friend since she was eleven years old was dead. Everything just felt so wrong.
Ron was in a meeting with the other Aurors going over what happened. They put Harry's body in the room next to Ellie's. Ron had made sure they did. He already knew Ellie would want to see him when she woke. Hermione couldn't bring herself to go see him. She didn't want to see her friend lying in a bed, never to open his eyes again.
A tear escaped her eye that Isabella wiped away. "It's gonna be okay you, you know?"
"How do you know?" Hermione asked.
Isabella shrugged before replying. "I don't know. Isn't that what the grown-ups always say to make you feel better?"
Hermione let out a half cry half laugh as Isabella succumbed to her own tears and hugged her.
The truth was everything was going to be okay. It's just hard to believe that when you're still grieving with loss.
Hermione heard a groan from Ellie's bed causing Isabella and her to look over. Ellie was tossing and turning and mumbling something under her breath.
Hermione stood up and walked over to the bed, before stopping and looking down at Ellie's body curled in on itself. She kept mumbling 'Please wake up' and nothing more.
Hermione slowly shook her shoulder. "Ellie, wake up," Hermione said. "You're having a bad dream."
Ellie's eyes shot open with a look of fear and pain, staring at Hermione with uncertainty, before a look of recognition appeared. "Hermione?"
"I'm here," Hermione said. "So is Isabella."
"Hi, Mum," Isabella said from the other side of the bed as she grabbed Ellie's hand.
Ellie stared at the ceiling; a mask of calm collectiveness displayed over her features as she said. "So, Harry's gone, then? He didn't wake up?"
"No, he didn't," Hermione said sadly. "I'm sorry, Ellie."
The only indication Ellie gave Hermione that she heard her was the twitch of her bottom lip, but other than that, she was completely still.
"I guess that's that, then," Ellie said simply. "What happens to us now?"
Ellie's indifferent and slightly cold demeanor was unnerving to Hermione. "Ellie," Hermione began, but was interrupted by Isabella.
"Mum!" Isabella said. "I think it's pretty crappy of you to act like Harry being gone doesn't affect you at all when we all know it does."
Ellie sighed but didn't take her gaze away from the ceiling. "I don't see how crying about it will help us in any way."
"Ellie," Hermione said softly. When Ellie's gaze stayed fixed to the ceiling, Hermione spoke up, louder, saying, "Ellie, look at me!"
Ellie slowly turned her head until she was staring at Hermione. The depths of her eyes showed a pain and hopelessness that Hermione herself felt although maybe not quite as deeply.
There was no other way to put it. Ellie simply looked lost; like a lost and frightened child not knowing what to do with herself, and Hermione's heart broke for her.
"I wish I knew what to say to take the pain away, Ellie," Hermione said. "I watched Harry go through this exact same thing when Ginny died, and it tore me up inside that I couldn't help him the way I wanted to."
Ellie continued to stare at her with haunted eyes, saying nothing, so Hermione continued. "He's been my best friend since we were eleven. Every year at school I feared for him and his safety; his life, and yet every year he managed to escape death against all the odds. And then, Voldemort came back, and I knew that everything would change. There were days when I didn't think any of us would make it out alive, but Harry never gave up hope."
Hermione sighed as she wiped away a few tears before she continued. "When he walked into the forest to meet with Voldemort, I feared he wouldn't come back. He went, knowing he would die. He sacrificed himself to get rid of the last piece of Voldemort. Harry was truly selfless and one of the greatest people I've ever known."
"Are you going somewhere with this, Hermione?" Ellies asked morosely.
"He loved you," Hermione said sharply with a bit more edge to her voice than she meant to, causing Ellie to shrink back slightly. "He loved you more than anything. After all the people he's lost over the years, all the hardships he faced, he loved you. You came into his life at a time when he needed you most and he fell in love with you whole-heartedly. I was afraid that after Ginny, he'd never have that type of connection again, but even after all the loss, he managed to fall in love with you. He didn't let Ginny's death harden him. You taught him how to live again. Hermione squeezed Ellie's hand softly. "I guess, what I'm trying to say is don't let this harden you. Harry wouldn't want that, and I think it would be an insult to his memory to let this be the thing that finally breaks you."
Ellie was crying now, not loud or gut-wrenching, but silent, as if making noise would somehow make the pain worse.
"How?" Ellie asked quietly. "How do you move on when a piece of yourself was taken from you?"
Hermione noticed Ron walk in and stand near the wall, saying nothing. His eyes were red. Hermione knew he too had been crying. He gave her a nod before she turned back to Ellie.
"It's going to be hard," Hermione said. "It's going to be really hard. You're going to wake up every single day with a hole inside of you that you won't quite know how to fill. It will seem hopeless at first, but as time goes on, that hole will be covered. It won't ever be filled; you'll always feel that pain, but the more that time goes on, the more that pain will start to lessen."
"The first few days are the easiest," Ron spoke up. "You'll be surrounded by people; people who love you, people who loved Harry, people who are afraid to leave you alone. It won't really hit you until after the funeral. You'll go back home to an empty house and there will be nothing but quiet. That's when it hits you. That's when you'll finally realize that he's gone. I don't say this to scare you. I'm saying it to prepare you and to let you know that we're here for you and Isabella any time, day or night."
Hermione nodded in agreement. "If it ever becomes too much, don't be afraid to call us. I don't care if it's four in the morning and you just need someone to talk to. We're always here for you just the same as Harry would be."
"What's going to happen to us?" Ellie asked. "Isabella and me, I mean? We're no longer under that protection program. Our apartment was destroyed when we were kidnapped. I... I don't know if I can stay in Harry's house."
"We'll figure something out,' Hermione said with a small smile. "In the meantime, you and Isabella will stay at the Burrow. Keep in mind Arthur and Molly lost a son. I think it will be best for everyone if you stay there, at least until the funeral."
Ellie nodded. "I'm pretty tired. I think I'll go back to sleep now."
Hermione helped Isabella into the bed beside Ellie before sitting down with Ron. It only took a few minutes for both Ellie and Isabella to fall asleep.
"Do you think they'll be okay?" Ron asked.
"I hope so," Hermione said as she lay her head on her husband's shoulder. "It's going to be tough on all of us at first, I think."
"We just have to keep moving forward," he said.
"That's all we can do," Hermione said simply.
The days leading up to Harry's funeral flew by at a rapid pace, maybe because it was something she wasn't looking forward to. She wasn't ready to say goodbye to him just yet. The more she dreaded the day, the quicker it came, until the day finally arrived.
The day of Harry's funeral was on a cold December morning helped somewhat by the bright sun hanging in the sky.
Ellie was taking her time getting dressed. She was in no hurry to leave. Saying goodbye would make it real and Ellie wasn't sure she was ready to admit that to herself. Sure, deep down she knew, but she wanted to hold on to Harry as long as possible.
She heard a soft knock at the door followed by Mrs. Weasley poking her head in. "Are you almost ready, Ellie dear?" she asked kindly.
Ellie stared at the hairbrush Harry had bought for her a while back. It was something she'd been trying to avoid picking up. She'd been avoiding a lot of memories lately scared of the pain that would follow if she indulged herself in them.
"Harry bought me this hairbrush," Ellie finally replied. "My last one broke. I know it might not look like it, but my hair has always been kind of wild. Not as bad as Hermione's, but still hard to manage sometimes."
Mrs. Weasley nodded sympathetically, before saying, "Would you like me to brush your hair, dear?"
Ellie nodded, not trusting herself to speak anymore as Mrs. Weasley moved inside the room and picked up the hairbrush.
As she began running it through Ellie's hair, Mrs. Weasley started humming a tune that was oddly soothing.
"You know, when I first met Harry, I knew he was going to be a wonderful person," Mrs. Weasley said. "After everything that horrid family of his put him through, he was still able to hold onto his compassion and ability to love. I think that's what made him so special."
"He was, wasn't he?" Ellie agreed.
"You remind me of him," Mrs. Weasley said. She paused as she grabbed a hank of her hair before continuing. "The way you went through all that suffering and still held onto yourself; your ability to love. It's a magic all on its own."
Mrs. Weasley began humming again when Ellie didn't reply, carefully brushing through her hair as Ellie looked at herself in the mirror. There were bags under her eyes from unrestful nights where she woke up from nightmares, usually involving Harry. Ellie was glad to note her skin didn't look quite as pale so she didn't look sickly.
"All done," Mrs. Weasley said as she sat the brush down on the vanity.
"How do I look?" Ellie asked, not really caring for the answer.
"You look wonderful, dear," Mrs. Weasley said at the same time the mirror said, "You look lovely."
Ellie let out a chuckle, followed by another, which then turned into her hysterically laughing at the absurdity of it all. Before she could get her laughter under control, it turned into her sobbing at the unfairness of everything.
It was unfair that Harry didn't get to live a long and happy life. It was unfair that he suffered so much up until that point. It was unfair that they were ripped apart from each other only after having found one another.
"I don't want to say goodbye!" Ellie sobbed.
"Oh, Ellie," Mrs. Weasley said as she put her arms around her in an attempt to comfort her. "It won't be like this forever, you know."
Ellie grabbed a hold of Mrs. Weasley as she cried, taking comfort in the motherly embrace.
People kept saying that one day things would be better, that things wouldn't always hurt so much, but the truth was, Ellie couldn't see far enough ahead to believe them. She felt as if she were drowning or as if she was being swallowed by darkness. Both sounded appropriate.
Mrs. Weasley didn't let go until Ellie's sobs had subsided. She grabbed a handkerchief and cleaned up Ellie's face before looking in the mirror and smiling sadly. "It's almost time, dear," she said.
Ellie breathed out heavily. "I just have to get through today," she said, more to herself than Mrs. Weasley. "I just have to get through today and everything will be fine."
Isabella walked in, clad in a bright yellow dress with white trim, and her hair neatly brushed. Ellie knew funerals were for darker colors but Mrs. Weasley said that they should be celebrating the life Harry had lived, not the fact that Harry had died.
Ellie looked at her own bright blue casual dress and tried to smile but couldn't quite manage it.
"Mr. Weasley said everyone's ready," Isabella said.
Mrs. Weasley squeezed Ellie's shoulder comfortingly. "We just finished up.
"You look pretty, Mum," Isabella said with a smile.
Ellie tried to smile again. She hoped she succeeded. "You as well, Bella."
Ellie, Isabella, and the Weasleys made their way to Godric's Hollow where the service was to be performed. Harry was being buried next to his parents and Ginny. Ellie could still remember Harry bringing her here to visit Ginny, although it seemed like a lifetime ago.
The service itself was a rather plain affair. Many people Ellie didn't know showed up to mourn the loss of the man who had destroyed Voldemort. Most were wearing proper mourning attire. Ellie spotted a blond-haired woman with what looked like radishes for earrings wearing a bright yellow and orange dress and almost smiled. Maybe she wouldn't stick out as much as she thought.
Ellie thanked God for magic or else she would've been freezing in the December air. The officiator talked about all of Harry's accomplishments and how much he would be missed and other positive things he was paid to say before he let people get up and tell stories about Harry. Most of them were school friends of his who talked about all the fun times they had with him. Ron and Hermione didn't go up to speak. Ellie was pretty sure they couldn't bear to without breaking down. It was the same reason she wouldn't be going up to speak about Harry.
Once the procession of people died down the officiator stood back up to close out the ceremony just as Isabella stood up.
"What are you doing, Bella?" Ellie asked.
"Hearing all of Harry's friends tell stories about him like that made me want to tell my own story about him," Isabella replied as she moved down the aisle.
The officiator smiled warmly at her before sitting back down.
Ellie watched as Isabella stepped onto the raised dais, before surveying the crowd, and starting to speak.
"I know many of you don't know who I am," Isabella started. "My name is Isabella Robinson. Hearing all the nice stories his friends told about him made me want to get up and share my own story about Harry."
Ellie was watching Isabella like a hawk, waiting for the moment when Isabella looked like she was about to cry. Isabella looked at her and smiled.
"Harry saved me and my mum from Death Eaters," Isabella continued. "Judging by some of the other stories told up here, I see that trying to save people is a reoccurring theme in his life," A few people laughed as she continued. "The thing is, he did more than just save us. He took me and my mum in when he didn't even want to. It didn't matter that he was pretty much forced into it. We didn't see it that way."
Ellie was astounded that Isabella was able to keep her cool and not cry as she talked about Harry. She told them about the broomstick he had given her for her birthday and about the playground Mr. Weasley and he had built for her in the garden.
"He got hurt one day protecting someone and I had to lie and say he was my dad just to be able to see him," Isabella said, and here, her voice cracked. "I... I never knew my real dad and I always wanted one. Harry became that for me. I never called him dad, he never got to hear me say it, but I'd like to think he knew how much I thought of him."
Ellie stood up and moved to the dais as Isabella finally started to cry. She wrapped an arm around her daughter's shoulders and steered her back to her seat before handing her a handkerchief and sitting down.
"Did I do okay?" Isabella asked
"You did wonderful, Bella," Ellie said. "Harry would be proud of you."
All too soon the funeral was over. Ellie didn't even realize until George tapped her on the shoulder. People were mingling about and talking to each other. Mr. And Mrs. Weasley were talking to someone Ellie didn't know and Ron and Hermione were talking to what looked like someone from their school days.
Ellie stood up and let Isabella go out into the aisle first and was about to slide out as well when the blonde with the yellow and orange dress walked up to Isabella.
"I like your dress," the woman said to Isabella.
"Thanks," Isabella said with a giggle. "My mum let me pick it out."
"I'm glad she did. Funerals are dreadfully dreary when everyone wears black," the woman said. "I'm Luna by the way, Luna Lovegood."
She offered her hand first to Isabella and then to Ellie which Ellie shook.
"I like your earrings," Isabella said.
"Thank you," Luna said with a slightly bemused smile. "They're Dirigible Plums. They enhance the wisdom of the wearer. I should get going. The Wrackspurts are starting to gather. It was nice meeting you two."
Ellie watched Luna skip off before Isabella turned to her and said, "Mum? What's a Wrackspurt?"
"Er, I have no idea," Ellie replied.
"She was weird," Isabella said with a giggle. "Weird, but nice."
Mrs. Weasley walked up to them at that moment. "Are you ready to go?" she asked them.
"I think we're all set," Ellie said.
"I'd love for you two to stay for a few more days," Mrs. Weasley said. "At least until the will reading. Hermione and Ron will be staying a few days as well."
"I think we can do that," Ellie agreed. "I'm in no hurry to go back to... Harry's house, you know."
"I understand," Mrs. Weasley said before leaning in close and adding, "Don't give up, dear. It's going to be hell for a while, but we'll get through it. You'll see."
She leaned back up and started talking to Isabella as they began walking to the gates of the cemetery.
Ellie knew moving on without Harry was going to be hard. She hoped that everyone was right and that one day the pain wouldn't be so bad. She still felt that all-encompassing emptiness where Harry used to take up residence. Hermione had said that she and Isabella had taught Harry how to live again, but who was here to teach her the same?
Regardless, if Harry could do it, so could she.
She looked back at the casket just as it was being lowered into the ground and smiled, truly smiled for the first time in what seemed like years.
He would want that for her, and she would never stop trying to give that to him.