Chapter Text
Kim looked in the mirror. He nervously adjusted his bowtie, making sure it was straight. Tankhun came in, and stopped at the entrance. His eyes widened, face turning nostalgic at seeing Kim in his white suit, before settling into a soft expression.
Out of the three of them, Kim looked the most like their mother. Tankhun and Kinn were a mixture of their parents, but Kim had all their mother's features. He would deny it, but Kim really was a beautiful male version of their mother.
Kim looked at his brother through the mirror, rousing Tankhun from his thoughts. Walking up to him, he placed his hands on Kim's shoulders, and said, "You make a handsome groom." Kim turned to face his brother. Since Big, Kim had begun to be more expressive. He would never fully be rid of his stoic demeanor after years of living this way, but there was now a softness over it. He was no longer the quiet boy he'd been as a teenager, or the cold adult he had become after. He was more open to emotion, safe in his space with Big. And right now, he was showing nervousness.
Tankhun patted his shoulder, trying to comfort him. His hands came up to Kim's bowtie, fiddling with it. Tankhun turned Kim back to look at the mirror. On his bowtie was hanging a charm, similar to the one on his wrist.
"I saw the charm Big gave you," said Tankhun softly. "I never realized how little you had of mom. I'm sorry she's not the one here to give you this. I wanted a little piece of her to be with you today." Kim's eyes glistened with threatening tears as his eyes took in the charm. Tankhun continued, "It's for you to keep. Add it to the one you always wear. I'm sure mom would love to be with you always in small ways."
Kim touched the charm reverently, remembering the vague image of soft hands that wore it and touched him with warm caresses. He turned to his brother, feeling a bit awkward, but still giving into the urge to hug him.
Tankhun remained stiff for a moment. He had not held Kim since he was a toddler, placing him on his lap and calling him his baby. Tears came up to the front, as he hugged Kim back. It was an awkward hug, both not sure how to respond to the other's cues, but heartfelt nonetheless.
It didn't help that Kinn entered at that moment. He stood at the door, wondering if he should back out or not. Kim and Tankhun quickly disengaged from each other, and made as if nothing had happened.
Kinn looked between them, and awkwardly cleared his throat. Holding out a hand, he said, "Here. Chay brought these over. He said the groom sent them." Kim took the offered item, smiling when he realized what it was.
It was a small boutonniere, made up of a small silk sunflower, surrounded by baby's breath. Attached to it was a small note. Kim opened it, to see Big's handwriting.
Together. Wherever you are.
Kim's face broke into a wide smile, face alight with his love for Big. Both his brothers stood mesmerized at this change. They hated that they had not been the best of brothers to this youngest sibling of theirs, but so glad that he had found his happiness as an adult. They knew he would be in the best of hands.
A knock came at the door. Miri's head popped in a moment later, eyes sweeping across the men standing by the full length mirror.
She smiled at Kim, noticing how beautiful he looked. Those Theerapanyakun men had really good genes, all three exaggeratedly handsome. But today, Kim shone.
"Ready?" she asked, smiling into his eyes.
"Ready," responded Kim.
Kim had been ready for years. He had loved Big for so long, and after today they would officially belong to each other. Kim had long ago given his heart to Big.
Together, the brothers and Miri walked through the house to the garden, where Big stood waiting.
Kim's heart swelled. He looked so handsome in his own white suit. Big was a more simple man, preferring his t-shirts, jeans and simple sweaters. But for Kim, he agreed to a suit. He had agreed to a haircut. To being styled, despite his discomfort.
Big and Kim had spoken at length, and decided on a smaller wedding. Big was not big on pomp and circumstance, but he said that for Kim, he would do anything.
Kim often told him he didn't have to do any of it, but Big would hug him and tell him "For you, I would do anything to see you happy." It would often be followed by a kiss, and a "I promise."
So Kim had opted for a celebration. He wanted to do everything with Big. The handholding, the hugs, the cuddles in front of the TV. Waking up next to him, breakfast, lunch and dinner with him. The trips, the laughs, even the fights. He wanted pictures of all their special moments, memorabilia of it. As long as Big was by his side, he wanted it all.
His brothers had released him of all worries, freed him of the Theerapanyakun ties. Kim no longer had to think nor worry about that world, beeing so far away. So when Kim had brought up the subject of marriage licenses, he had asked if he could take on Big's name.
Big had looked shocked. Theerapanyakun was a prominent name not just in Bangkok, but globally. And Kim wanted to change it for his? An orphan name without history? Big didn't even know if this was the name he had been born with, the one that had belonged to any family of his.
Kim earnestly confirmed it was what he wanted. Theerapanyakun may be the name he had been born with, but he wanted to die a Nutthasid. He knew better than anyone that riches and gold could never buy what he had with Big, and he wanted to be with him till their end of days.
Kim had traveled to Thailand to speak to his brothers. He had felt this was news best given in person, and wanted to at least give them that.
Kinn had frowned, but Tankhun had nodded in understanding. As head of the Theerapanyakun family, Tankhun had readily given his blessing. This smallest brothers of theirs was so different from him and Kinn. He often led with his heart, and only a heartbreak had caused him to become cold for many years. But here he was, again living a life, loving and being loved. Tankhun saw smiles on his face once again, eyes that lit up in joy, hands and arms that hugged once again.
In the past year since Kim's departure, the three brothers had maintained a line of communication with each other. Old resentments had caused them to become distant in past years, but they had been working to fix that. They would never be as close as Porsche with Chay, Vegas with Macau, or even Big with Chay, Macau and Miri, but they still wanted a closeness and were willing to work towards it.
Though this change of name had felt like a request of separation, it was anything but. It was a request for their blessing, to allow Kim to finally break free of the Theerapanyakun responsibilities and history. To finally live the life he wanted with the man he loved, be the singer he wanted to be, be the partner and one day father he wanted to become.
So the brothers had given their blessing. But this wasn't without some back and forth. The wedding, the man, and the living location were not an issue to the two elder brothers. The issue arose with the refusal of the gifts.
They had gotten it in their heads to gift Kim with land, money, and properties. And to also gift the same to Big. But both were adamantly against it. They had their own wealth, and though not considered billionaires, it was enough to sustain them comfortably the rest of their lives if dealt with responsibly. They finally agreed on the gift of one apartment building, and a home along the San Francisco bay.
Big still owned the building in New York given to him by Porsche. It was run by Chay and Macau, both keeping their residence there as they finished their schooling. Though the building belonged to Big, the previous apartment they had all shared as a family had been gifted to Macau and Chay upon their marriage. Many things that had been sent out or placed in storage for safekeeping during their escape had been returned. The photo albums had been sent to Miri's mother, and when asked for them, she had thoughtfully duplicated all pictures of them, placed them in photo albums, and sent everyone their own: one to Thailand to her daughter, New York to Chay and Macau, and San Francisco to Big and Kim.
This wonderful lady had been invited as guest of honor, specially invited by Big. He had flown to her hometown to make the invitation in person, Kim in tow. Upon hearing the happy news, she had burst into tears and hugged both men.
They had spent a lovely week with her, being taken care of and enjoying her motherly attentions. Kim had hugged her extra hard upon leaving, wishing he had had his own mother to hug him the same way, but glad to know this woman who offered a similar love.
The wedding would be simple, celebrated at their home, the same one gifted to them by Kinn and Tankhun. This home had a garden, grown by Big, and this is where Kim wanted to marry him. They would be surrounded by their family, Kinn, Tankhun, Miri and her mother, Chay and Macau.
Everyone took their seats, as Big and Kim walked to the officiant that would marry them. The ceremony commenced, Kim barely listening to what was being said, until the exchange of rings. The gold glinted off their fingers as they put the rings on each other. They held hands even after the rings were placed.
"Do you, Kimhant Theerapanyakun, take Suriya Nutthasid as your lawful wedded husband?"
"I do."
"Do you, Suriya Nutthasid, take Kimhant Theerapanyakun as your lawful wedded husband?"
"I do."
"I now pronounce you wed. Congratulations!"
It was all a haze to Kim, but his face lit up in the largest smile his family and friends had ever seen, as Big did the same, holding to each other as their mouths met in a kiss.
Chay, Macau and Miri cheered loudly, Macau adding a few whoops, as the rest applauded enthusiastically.
Big and Kim broke apart, facing their friends and family. They were quickly surrounded, and covered in pats and hugs from everyone.
A dinner celebration had followed, but it was as if there was no one in the room. Big and Kim could not take their eyes off each other, happy to finally have met one of their promises.
There had been times when they had not thought they may get to this moment. Kim remembered the painful moments he had thought Big would die. Too many times in his life he had seen Big be in danger, and never again did he wish to ever see him in those situations.
Big too, never wanted to have Kim feel that way ever again. His ears rang with Kim's sobs on the day they thought Big would die, a horrible memory that sometimes crept up on him at the most inopportune moments. He would lay in bed, hugging Kim against him, as his chest swelled at knowing he had gotten a second chance at life, at love, all because of Kim. He had promised on that day he would always come back, and he meant to keep that promise. Hell on earth wouldn't stop him from ever trying to get back to Kim.
They had returned from Thailand, and settled into a new apartment in their building, after having gifted Chay and Macau their old one. There, they had met one of Kim's dreams; a home full of plants, guitars, and friends that visited without restraint. Big had also made true on his promise, and they had gotten the cats, and the dog. They had talked about children, Kim surprising Big by saying he wanted them, but not now. Kim wanted Big to himself for a few more years before he had to share.
And today they had crossed the biggest hurdle. Marriage. There was no question they belonged to each other, the paper only made it official. Kimhan Nutthasid. Kim felt a lightness he had never felt before, knowing he belonged somewhere, he was claimed by someone who loved him without restraint, who he could love back.
The rest of the party watched the two lost in their own world. Kinn couldn't help but miss Porsche right now. He understood the all encompassing feeling of love that his brother and his husband were feeling.
When Kim had announced his marriage to Big, Kinn had requested a moment with Big. Big had traveled with Kim to offer support, but had allowed Kim the moment to speak on his own.
Kim had turned wary eyes on Kinn. He had once told Kinn he never wanted them alone ever again, thinking Kinn only wanted to hurt Big again. But Kinn had proven since then he had no ill will towards his former bodyguard.
Big had nodded, kissing the top of Kims head as he passed him by to follow Kinn out the door.
"Don't worry," said Tankhun. "I heard Porsche railing into Kinn, because he had not made his apologies yet. And Porsche has been giving him the cold shoulder since then. He's probably trying to make amends."
Kim had conceded, but inside he still worried.
Tankhun had been right. Kinn had accepted that Big and Kim were a couple, but had yet to apologize for the ill treatment of his previous guard. Porsche had made his disappointment known. This was the man who had once given his life up for him, had given Porsche a chance to live a loving life with Kinn, had taken in his brother and cared for him. Porsche had promised Big he would always be in his corner, and he meant to keep that promise. Even if it meant giving a few kicks in the ass to Kinn, no matter his love for him.
Kinn acknowledged that he had been remiss in this, and the cold shoulder was well deserved. Big had remained thoughtful throughout the apology, allowing Kinn to speak his mind.
"Khun Kinn," he started. He had never grown comfortable with Kinn. He'd spent years calling him his boss, and had not spent enough time after his relationship with Kim to get used to anything else. The Khun remained, creating a wall between them.
Both Kinn and Big understood they would never be friends, they couldn't even be happy in-laws. The history between them was deep, and though they had moved on, it was still an uncomfortable reminder of all they had lived together.
"I appreciate your apology," Big continued. "I know it must not be an easy thing, but it is much appreciated." Big knew the apology was not just for him, it was for Kim and his peace of mind. In truth, the apology made Big uncomfortable, reminding him of his foolish crush. It all felt so surreal now.
"I have let it go a long time ago, so for me there is nothing left to forgive," added Big. "Khun Kinn, things were meant to happen this way. I have gained a family because of it, and I wouldn't change it."
Kinn nodded, thoughtful, before saying, " I also want to thank you. For Porsche, his brother, my cousin, and my own brother. You have been a good man, and I can't imagine a better one to leave my brother with."
Big had smiled at that. "I'm very lucky he did not give up on me. I know you had your doubts, but believe me when I say I love Kim, and will spend the rest of my life making him happy."
Kinn smiled back. In that, they were in agreement. Both wanted Kim's happiness. Looking at them now, Kinn knew Big was keeping that promise, and would live his life doing so.
The dinner wrapped up, everyone going back outside to sit around on the patio, as the sun went down. Macau and Chay ran around, taking pictures of everything and everyone. They surprised the couple when they threw themselves at them in hugs, Chay attacking Big and Macau squeezing Kim.
Age and marriage had not dimmed them, Macau and Chay still the happy young men they had always been. They promised everyone they would send the pictures later.
Soon, nightfall came, and torches were lit up in the garden. Someone brought lap blankets, and sparklers. They took more pictures, before sitting down again. Kim leaned on Big, Big's arm tight around Kim's shoulders.
Their dog waddled up to them, being on it's best behavior despite the chaos around it. Both the dog and cats had been roaming around the house during dinner, but only the pup came up to the guests, begging for scraps with its eyes. It had seemed to have taken a liking to Kinn, and had sat close by leaning on his legs, as the man unconsciously rubbed the animal's head.
It now lay at the couple's feet, yawning and stretching out before closing its eyes in sleep. Everyone sat around conversing, but soon, everyone followed in the dog's footsteps and started making way to their own beds.
Big and Kim remained, sitting in the quiet dark. Big pulled Kim closer, throwing a blanket over them. Kim snuggled in, as he always did when they were alone. Call him selfish, but Big liked that only he got to see this side of Kim. The soft snuggling man who smiled at him, and spoke in loving words. So different from the cold serious one everyone else got to see. This man was his, and only his.
"My husband," murmured Big, kissing Kim's temple.
Kim hummed in satisfaction, digging his nose into Big's neck. "MY husband," he responded.
Big chuckled. He reached down for Kim's hand, bring it up to his mouth for a kiss. "I love you," he whispered, putting all his emotion into his words. "I will always love you. If there is an afterlife, I would love you there too."
Kim swallowed hard, squeezing Big hard. Big always caused all types of emotions in him, and right now he wanted to weep. He blinked, before raising his head and kissing him, deep and hard. "I love you too. Always have, always will. There is no one for me, but you."
Big held Kim against him, pecking kisses on his face. Underneath the privacy of the stars, they remained, making whispered promises of their love for each.