Chapter Text
Cater wasn't sure when things had changed. When his fear had become affection. When his smiles had softened and become genuine, not plastered on. When he stopped wanting to photograph all of their time together, and began to leave his phone in his pocket when they met.
When "Diamond" became "Cater". And when "Cater" became "my Treasure".
When he and Mal fell in love.
Cater had planned for his relationships to be like his friendships - casual. A bit superficial, maybe, but fun. Nice and easy, just how Cay-Cay liked!
He didn't plan to get attached.
But he had fallen, and fallen hard. What had started as a little casual teasing and flirting had somehow spiralled into something much deeper.
And Cater was absolutely terrified.
They were rapidly progressing through their third year - the last one at NRC before their internships that could send them anywhere. He'd probably end up somewhere in the Shaftlands, or maybe the Sunshine Lands. Mal would probably go back home to Briar Valley. Anyway, he was sure their time together was short, and then it would just be... over. The thought made his blood feel cold in his body and his limbs grow tense.
And it made Cater feel like he was back at one of his childhood houses. His family would be gathered in the living room as his father told him and his sisters, "Kids, I've been relocated again. We'll be moving in a few weeks. But don't worry, you'll like it there, I promise." Always the same speech. His heart would drop into his stomach at first, but then he'd box up his things, he'd say goodbye to his "friends" of the past few months or years, and he'd move on to somewhere - and someone - new. And after a while, that initial feeling stopped.
He made sure of it.
"Don't get too close. That'll only make it harder when you leave"
It became his mantra. His own personal rule.
Cater wasn't sure when things had changed. But as he and Mal sat in the courtyard as the sun set, Malleus's warm hand moving to gently grasp his, Cater kept circling back to one question in his mind: when did he choose to break his one rule?