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"Let's watch a movie."
After the fifth time that he had to bury his face in his husband's shoulder, Atem decided he was never letting Kaiba pick the movie ever again. While Kaiba seemed perfectly unperturbed watching a giant prehistoric shark kill loads of people, Atem absolutely was not. At no point did he know what direction the movie was heading in.
"This is a textbook big shark movie," Kaiba quipped, though he couldn't keep the sadistic smile off his face when Atem jumped back into his arms again.
"I don't know what that means!" Atem cried. He squeezed his eyes shut and buried his entire face into Kaiba's neck to try to block out as much as he could. When he could still hear the ominous music that sent his heart racing a mile a minute, he stuck his fingers in his ears. It worked to muffle the movie, not Kaiba's insane laughter. "I don't like this film!"
"It's not that bad!" Kaiba laughed, but he rubbed Atem's back anyway. "Oh, is my brave little Pharaoh scared of a shark?"
"When it's presented like this I am!" Atem snapped and hit Kaiba in the chest. That, of course, meant taking a hand away from his ear just as people were screaming and he let out a full body shudder. "I don't like this! Turn it off!"
"I'll be fine. Look, Soyin lived! See?" Kaiba pointed insistently at the screen with that smile still affixed.
Atem carefully looked over his shoulder. Indeed, the main characters were all alive and the shark was dead. He didn't trust it for a second, there was still too much movie left. Still, it was a moment of peace and he managed to settle down and watch for a bit. Never. Never again. Atem was going to be in control of movie night from now on and he was going to turn it off when things got too scary.
"We sit down to be entertained, not scared out of our minds," Atem huffed.
"This isn't even that scary," Kaiba reminded him for the umpteenth time.
Atem couldn't help but mock his words. Especially when he saw yet another person in the water. Even though they were laughing, Atem couldn't help the sense of dread pooling in his gut. His suspicions were proved correct when another positively massive shark jumped out of the water and capsized the boat. This time Atem was in Kaiba's lap out of fear.
"I don't get it! They just killed it!" Atem whimpered as he curled himself into a ball to escape the movie.
"Nah," Kaiba chuckled. "They killed a different big shark."
"This is a terrible movie," Atem muttered.
"It was nominated for worst film of the year," Kaiba agreed.
Atem shook his head and went back to doing his best impression of an armadillo. He was not having any more of this movie. Especially not when the ominous music kicked back up and he could hear a bunch of people laughing and having fun.
"That can't be fun. I don't know how people find that fun," Kaiba commented to no one in particular.
"Find what?" Despite knowing better, Atem still looked at the screen. The water was packed full of people in floaties all bumping into each other. Atem scowled. "Yeah that's not fun."
"Give me a private beach any day," Kaiba muttered. Then he sat up a little straighter and tucked Atem's head back into his shoulder. "Don't watch this part, you're not going to like it."
Atem looked anyway. There was a wedding boat filled with people all jumping into the water, along with a dog. Atem felt his heart in his throat.
"No! They're not going to kill the dog!" Atem cried, finding his eyes glued to the screen.
"I said don't watch this part, you won't like it," Kaiba repeated.
"They're going to kill the dog!" Atem cried again.
"Seriously, honey, don't watch this part." This time Kaiba insisted and pushed Atem's head down just as the screaming started.
It was just as well. Atem did not want to watch more people getting swallowed and that's exactly what it sounded like was happening. Too much screaming and death. Thankfully, he also saw Kaiba flinch a couple times. It was good to learn that even his sadist husband wasn't totally immune. Still, as the screaming subsided once more, there was a burning question in Atem's mind.
"What do you think happens to the people who get swallowed whole?" Atem asked, genuinely curious. "Do you think they're still alive in the stomach and get digested alive? Or is there a lot of water in the stomach and they drown? Or do they get crushed by all the people in the stomach and die that way?"
"Uh, nothing happens because this is fake," Kaiba reminded him with an amused, if not slightly worried, grin. "We've had this discussion, remember? They're not really killing actors for a movie."
"No, I know, I'm thinking about the practicality if this was real," Atem clarified with a twisted grin. "It would be unfortunate if they didn't die right away, right? But people survive shark attacks all the time even losing limbs. The human body is surprisingly resilient, don't you find? Aliens would be very confused if they ever met us."
"There are so many good sci-fis we need to watch," Kaiba mused.
The final fight of the film was something Atem was actually able to watch since no one else died. Though it did come close and he was hiding in his husband's shoulder again. It took too long for the shark to finally be killed and everyone to end up, more or less, happily ever after.
"Look! Even the dog lived!" Kaiba laughed as they saw the dog from earlier swimming back to the ship perfectly unharmed.
"That was a terrible movie," Atem huffed.
"But the dog lived," Kaiba joked. He wrapped his arms around Atem and sat him a bit more comfortably in his lap as the credits rolled. "It's fun watching scary movies with you."
"Fun?!" Atem cried indignantly. He tried to wiggle out of Kaiba's lap, but those arms were like iron around him. "What part of scaring me half to death was fun for you?!"
"All the times you grabbed me and jumped into my lap," Kaiba answered honestly, squeezing Atem to remind him exactly where he currently sat. "Tell me something, did your nerd herd ever talk about how a great date would be taking a girl to a scary movie?" When Atem nodded slowly, Kaiba squeezed him again. " This is why. Because the girl will probably scream and get scared and cling to the guy and use him to hide and jump into his lap for comfort. It's great!"
"Oh!" Atem shoved off Kaiba's lap, finding the opportunity when his arms went slack because he was laughing so hard. Atem went to the other side of the couch, arms crossed and a pout on his lips as he demanded, "I'm hungry. You're going to get dinner as punishment for making me watch that terrible movie."
"Wait, so all I have to do is go get food to get you to watch scary movies with me? Worth it." The pillow that connected sharply with the side of his head didn't stop Kaiba's laughter, it just made it worse. "What would you like?"
"I want a burger from Burger World," Atem pouted. "The usual. With extra large fries and a large chocolate milkshake. And a cookie."
Kaiba was still chuckling as he agreed and stood up. He tried to lean over to place a sweet kiss on Atem's temple, but the smaller man fought back and swatted at him until he backed off.
"No! You don't get to kiss me right now, I'm mad at you!" Atem announced as he pointedly turning away.
"Will I get a kiss when I come back with food?" Kaiba chuckled, backing off and heading for the door.
"Maybe."
Kaiba's laughter could still be heard even as he left the manor. Still upset, Atem pulled out his phone to text the group chat that Kaiba was bullying him with scary movies. Yugi's laugh react made Atem pout more, but Joey and Tristan were very interested in where Kaiba was at that moment. Atem informed that he was getting dinner as punishment and Mai took over the conversation asking what exactly about the film had been so bad.
They were still texting twenty minutes later when Atem got the call that he needed to bail his husband out of jail because he got into a fist fight with Joey and Tristan outside the Burger World.
'Yup,' Atem thought to himself as he grabbed his coat. 'Never watching scary movies again.'