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They’d been traveling together for just three weeks, the discomforts that arose upon meeting someone new had disappeared in the early hours of sharing the road.
Up until that night they had slept under the stars, as close as possible to the fire, each in their sleeping roll, but then the circumstances led them to share a bed for the first time. After having wandered all day through an unknown forest, trying to escape from the rain falling on them like a heavy mantle, they found an old cabin that looked abandoned for a long time.
The cabin was on the verge of a clearing, in walking distance of a stream. The door hung from a hinge and was barely supported against the door frame, the rotten wood showed a little of the interior. The exterior walls were covered in vines and other vegetation, green and dense, with small blue flowers sprouting shyly between the leaves.The vegetation seemed to hold the walls upright but the roof hadn’t had the same luck, when Laudna and Imogen entered the cabin they saw that a whole section of the roof was missing, near one of the corners. The water fell into the interior as if they were still outside but the joy for the finding didn’t stop the smile that had been drawn on Laudna's lips. She knew how to fix it, she’s got this.
They worked together to rearrange the door so it could close safely and sealed the hole underneath with a few branches, while Imogen tried to light a fire in the small hearth Laudna tried to repair the roof. After working for a few hours the cabin was already much more habitable. The two women then changed their wet clothes for dry ones and sat comfortable in front of the fire. The roof situation wasn’t ideal despite Laudna's best efforts but it kept the rain away from the interior of the cabin, at least for the moment.
By the time night fell, the supply of dry firewood that had miraculously survived inside the place had run out and despite being at the end of summer, the constant rain and humidity made the interior of the cabin a little cold for Imogen’s liking. Without giving it much thought, she put her sleeping bag close to Laudna and snuggled into her side. Laudna was surprised at first, it was rare enough for someone to want to spend their time with something like her but for the same person to actively seek her out was something her poor brain could barely process. Even so, any reserve she could feel quickly vanished after a shy "Laud, could you hold me tonight?" reached her ears. After that night Imogen made a habit of saying those words before going to sleep only to find Laudna waiting for her with open arms.
On certain nights, when she couldn't sleep, Laudna was still amazed that she was sharing the warmth of Imogen's vibrant, living body and thanking the deity that allowed this to happen, something that not even in her crazy fantasies she’d dared to desire. Delilah used to whisper vile words to stir her insecurities in those moments, but Imogen rolled and surrounded her with her arms and suddenly there was no word that the old witch could use against her.
On the nights when the nightmares plagued Imogen’s tormented mind, both slept in a tight bundle of limbs and reassuring whispers, caresses were given without awkwardness, without asking for anything in return. They protected and took care of each other, and nothing else in the world mattered.
The progression of the cuddling occurred naturally as well. What at first were two bodies seeking closeness and warmth became possessive arms around thin waists, a head resting against bony shoulders, cold fingers tracing scars as if it were a silent lullaby that only they understood.
Mental communication had also become more frequent, hands together and fingers interlocked almost as a necessity. There were days where Laudna would get anxious when she had Imogen out of her sight. Who would have thought? Certainly not her.
When they arrived in a fairly large city in search of answers, they rented a small room in an inn on the outskirts, where they wouldn't arouse much suspicion and could go largely unnoticed. Still, they couldn't help the strange looks that followed Laudna from time to time causing Imogen's protective instinct to kick in. Neither of them mentioned it, after all it was normal for them to act like this.
In one of those cities, the room at the inn had two small beds separated by a rickety bedside table, the wooden floor creaked with each step, and it had no windows. All in all it was quite depressive, old-fashioned and sad, but they were safe so they didn't care.
Laudna thought that by having these comforts Imogen wouldn’t need to sleep next to her so she chose one of her beds and left her few belongings at the foot of it.
"Oh, do you prefer that one?" Imogen said, putting her backpack next to Laudna's things, sitting on the bed and starting to untie her boots.
Laudna smiled and followed suit.
The Hellcatch Valley was a different situation entirely, the heat was stifling and the nights brought little relief, but Laudna's skin was naturally cold so Imogen clung to it during the day as well, it wasn't like Laudna was going to complain, she never would.
She didn’t complain either when Imogen's lips lingered against her neck, just at the point where her slow pulse could be felt. Laudna shuddered, but she said nothing. Nor did she protest when, each night, Imogen's caresses grew softer, slower, more intimate. She kept asking her if what she was doing was right, if Laudna wanted her to stop. Laudna swallowed hard and with trembling lips asked her to continue.
Emboldened, Laudna tried to return the caresses one night, fearing Imogen would stop her, but the words never came. They were huddled in the bed of a transport cart that carried fruit from one city to another, the night cradled them between the noise of the hooves of the oxen and the humid breeze of the valley; Laudna slid her hand down Imogen's warm, soft belly, delicate fingers circling around her belly button. Imogen sighed and pressed her body against Laudna's front. Laudna's hand tenderly traced the contour of her hip and she risked a light kiss on the neck of the woman she held in her arms. Imogen shuddered and whispered something unintelligible, they continued like this for a while, none of them dared to deepen the caresses but they didn't want to stop either, until sleep overcame them.
The next morning, near the destination city, the day found them still entangled in each other's arms. They didn’t comment on what happened, words were superfluous.
The city was one of the largest in Marquet and in the face of all that crowd they both went unnoticed once again. The tavern they found, near an inn with a couple of empty rooms, was easy to spot, and among all the variety of people who came and went as they pleased, all of Laudna's oddities went unnoticed by the owner. They sat at one of the farthest tables, protected by the dim light of the candles that cast dancing shadows on the faces of all the patrons. The gazes fell on them but not for the usual reasons, the eyes were predatory and directed at Imogen. Laudna had noticed this happen when they dared spend time in a busy tavern, but now she found it most annoying. The blackest and most painful feeling planted itself in her chest. Of course she knew that Imogen was beautiful and that she only sought close proximity to a thing as hideous as her because one could feel very lonely on the road, gods if she didn’t know that, but when an undead thing was the only thing at hand... Not essential, that was what Laudna was.
"Come on, Laud. This place is suffocating." Imogen took her hand and led her out of the tavern, her doubts quickly put to rest.
Of course they only rented one room, they didn't really need more than that, but after what happened on the road there was a current of tension hanging in the air between them. For a few copper coins they rented a public bath to wash off the dust from the road, the warm water after so many days in that cart was like a blessing on their tired bones.
Relaxed and extremely tired after several weeks without a real place to rest in, they both fell in bed exhausted without their usual pre-sleep activities. Laudna stayed on her side of the bed, thoughts from earlier still running through her mind. Perhaps all these nights she had been taking advantage of Imogen, forcing touches and caresses that the other woman really didn’t want. It made sense, she told herself with great regret, who would want her touch? She was cold and a little clammy, her looks were unsettling and she was only useful when she was scary.
"Laud, come here, darling," Imogen's sleepy voice snapped her out of that spiral of self-deprecation as a warm hand closed around her wrist pulling her closer until their bodies were pressed together.
Someday... someday this will end and I'll have to let her go, Laudna thought with a heaviness in her chest, a feeling of loss that she was learning to loathe. But that day hadn't arrived yet and she allowed herself to be a little selfish as she hugged the girl and held her close. Imogen had given Laudna so many good feelings that she thought were lost, so many hours of conversation and pleasant company, so much colour to a world that she considered permanently gray.
"I'm not trying to read your mind and I can still feel you thinking," Imogen whispered to her, a giggle hidden in her voice.
"I love you so much" was all Laudna could reply, warmth bubbling in her throat and she found it hard to contain it.
"I love you too, Laud" the whisper was reverent, a prayer against Laudna's chest.
Launa closed her eyes tightly, sometimes she felt that her frail body couldn’t contain all that she felt for Imogen, that it would soon give way and explode into millions of pieces.
How could she explain to Imogen everything she felt? How could she make her understand how much she needed her? How could she explain that she would give her life a thousand times if only for a tiny chance to see her happy?
Imogen placed a kiss on her chest and all her tired bones relaxed, she felt her breathing slow until she was sure Imogen was asleep.
Laudna sighed. Long and heavy, letting out so many things, burying so many others. She didn’t understand what was happening with her, she didn’t dare to examine it fully. For now, dwelling in this embrace would be enough, it had to be.