Work Text:
"Will we meet again sometime?"
"Sure we will"
"Promise?"
"Promise"
At least, it was a long and pleasant life, Chihiro thought. With its ebbs and flows, undoubtedly a wonderful one. Probably not so long as she supposed to think she will have, but still... Marks on the door frame which had been increased with each new year Chihiro's life were wiped out over the time. As new grey strands were appeared on the parents' head. The hair became longer and longer and stayed invariably tied up with the bright purple scrunchie, and eyes were shining with some sort of this childish faith so lucid as well, although they never focused on something appreciable as ostensibly either didn't long to see it or saw something else.
That was the time to close her eyes and she did.
The quite and adjuvant girl Chihiro, that's the way she was remembered by others. Perhaps she had a different worldview relying on her peers. Albeit she had her own incredible world she shared with sometimes. Nobody can say what exactly seemed distinct in her. Maybe it's her thoughtful glance which was kind of frozen in time, it can be her sudden and rapid movements or the way she spoke to people — "Yes, ma'am", "I'm sorry ma'am" — quickly and clearly. She loved telling people lots of terrific stories about their mythology which she said was eternal and deathless. It seems like even the oldest men in Japan didn't know so many details, but Chihiro knew it all to the shortness aspect and told it exalted. She certainly could put all attention on her in the right company.
Despite this the girl hadn't many friends. Frankly speaking, even those friends she had wasn't able to understand her sometimes. It was something old in her behavior, something which naturalized many years ago that you couldn't eradicate anymore, not that you would do it even in time it got live. Because it was the thing Chihiro hadn't want to be deleted, even though she tried to put it into the deepest part of herself to stay the simple girl with simple life. Although we know she didn't.
The striped kids t-shirt was kept in the cupboard on the highest shelf didn't be put on anymore. Like the farewell list with her name that reminded her every time the real name - Chihiro. No Sen. "Who's Sen?" asked one day the parents after restless dream which was filled with ordinary feelings: the sound of a train moving slowly along the water-filled tracks, pig squeals, and unique rustle of air with life and death at one time. "She doesn't exist." she answered. And that was true, she thought so at least.
The odd thing was that nobody knew details about disappearance the family had. If they'd had no acquaintances it would've been undisclosed for now. Those who'd knew Chihiro before with certainty claimed she got mad (because of either her glance or horrific stories which they didn't hear before and which definitely scared them anytime).
One day in her teenager years Chihiro was quieter than usual. Nobody could get it and no matter how much they asked her, she remained silent. That was the day she understood the words which she held in her head all the time. She stayed upset for some time before returned to her usual condition. After that she almost cancelled her storytelling.
Eventually she'd been growing up and becoming a beautiful woman forgetting the mythology stories and many many spirits she was talking about her friends. She'd became older, wiser, calmer.
She forgot. Not about the ancestors or events that she experienced, but him. She thought if she will not meet him in this life, why she should care. She'd been trying to convince the people they are exist, these wonderful ancient creatures which floated around the sky or walking on the ground, who cried or whispered, before realized it has no sense. Because why people should know everything about spirits they maybe will meet only after their deaths? Ultimately, it all washed away by new life and new memories forced her leave it in the childhood and live the full life.
She was twenty six and she closed her eyes. For ever.
So many people wonder what happens after death. Nobody thinks there is one little girl who has kept this secret all her life, crossing the once green meadow that reflected the golden rays of the sun, straight to a place where the sun has no meaning. Nobody thinks there is one who's been there. However she does. She did.
She closed her eyes. Will she see the bright green meadow? Hear the noise of the streets filled with lanterns? The only thing that remains accurate - she died.
Chihiro couldn't say if it was long trip or short. It just was. And that's all she could get clearly. How much time has passed? Does it have any sense when you're dead? Unfortunately, there is no answers Chihiro could know, neither in school nor from parents she didn't hear the analysis events after death. Does she feel upset? Confused? Cross? It was... nothing. Just darkness inside and outside until she found that. What's that? Who knows. She just knew she stood under the starry sky surrounded by the aroma of delicious food and the majestic instrumental music.
She'd walked two steps before realized. And then she ran.
Spirits passed each other preoccupied with their duties.
The bathhouse as usual had a lot of visitors and each spirits endeavored to please them to get more money. So mundane, as usual. The main plus of the place they'd been working in is it's constant. No matter how many decades pass, everything will remain the same, surrounded by hard and honest work every night and a sound sleep of the workers in the morning. However it seemed wrong. Not in the bathhouse or guests, thought Haku. It didn't seem like a human invasion (as it was a few years ago with the poor family he remembered still and always) either. Something that is not outside but inside. And not even in the room but in him itself. Right in his heart, he thought he lost many years ago. It was laughable how he even had no idea what's wrong with him and with his appeared few moments ago heart.
"Kamaji" broke into boilerman's room with a decidedly serious face. Everything in this place was "as usual", even this look.
"Ahh, Master Haku." the spirit answered without hesitation, didn't stop his arms of working.
"What if the heart beats?" he blurted out standing in front of Kamaji hiding the emotions under the perfect mask of emptiness. "What does it mean?"
"That you're alive."
"It has no sense" the man frowned.
"Certainly if you stayed here" Kamaji chuckled, meant not the room but the place at all.
"I feel my heart Kamaji" repeated.
"So does she I guess".
"Who's she?"
"You know who" cut it off.
"She's the human Kamaji, she's alive" Haku desperately said. Mention about her was hurt Haku he didn't expect it could be so hard.
The boilerman sighed heavily and turned around to the Haku's face, being not sprightly now.
"You think so, Haku?".
"But... She can't. She had to have long life, beautiful life. She just. She just had to."
"Who said she hadn't?"
The small noisy spots called susuwatari run out from their home-holes raising their coal. The break was ended. Haku jumped on the elevation and turned to the Kamaji again but he was in his job with hid floating hands around the room.
"So what do you think then?"
"I think I have to work."
And only after Haku's leaving Kamaji muttered to himself "Who said she won't have?" and kept quiet afraid somebody could listen to him
Alright. He hadn't got any answers. At least he hadn't want to get the answer he was afraid of. So he just turned to Yubaba. That's why he was flying now being the dragon to the bathhouse after real long and hard night of spying. Well, even after unprisoning which Chihiro with all her braveness did, he's been still carrying witch's missions out. It was his work and he couldn't do nothing in place where everyone do everything. Flew up to the window frame and appeared a human he went down the stairs. He brooded over the feeling he had, the heart which beat and the girl he remembered each day of his mundanity without her. She had to have a beautiful life with loved ones and wonderful memories. So why Kamaji said so? Did he know something or just said a strange thing he always did? He was going down didn't put any attention on what was happening around until he heard many voices. Naturally it still was night and all workers loved to talk to a lot, however it was exciting cryings which they tried to hid.
Haku came out on the balcony listening to the sounds. Spirits ignored him as usual doing their works, and Haku just thought he got something wrong and already was close to go away.
Suddenly he saw something. Somebody. It was Rin, one of the workers, nothing unusual, maybe except the two bowls of rice which she was carrying. And still It didn't seem like something odd, it just was a food... The heart has beaten intensely.
"Here" Rin came in to room and gave Chihiro the bowl.
"Thanks" Chihiro said. "The last time I was here I almost disappeared." she added after a while.
"You're one of us now."
She's dead. Hard to believe. Was it predictable only because she knew what had been waiting for her after death? Or she just wanted to see him... She ran to the main building of the land, past the bright red lights of the night street, dark figures going about their business, it seemed she even ran past a frog that scared her a little when she was a child. The bridge, as always, was filled with spirits, there was a great commotion along with local incense. This time, running along it, no one looked back. "You're one of us now" as Rin said. She didn't want to cry or sit and put her head on the knees trying to hide from the scaring new world. She just ran and ran and ran and she saw the woman. Pink clothes, an elongated face that resembled a fox, with small dark eyes. She couldn't skip her.
"Where's Haku?"
"I'm surprised it wasn't your first phrase I've heard from you" she chuckled.
"I just was glad to see you."
She put her plate down and put her hands on her knees, thoughtfully "I didn't have time to say goodbye to you. And Kamaji."
"Well now you can say to him hi" Rin smiled.
Chihiro didn't think it would be kind from her side asking Rin about Haku when the dialogue's came to the boilerman, who helped and supported the girl so much. But Rin understood everything so she just smiled again. "But Haku's first."
"Where's he?"
"How do I know?" Rin laughed and rose up on her feet coming closer to the door and opened them. "Just go and find."
The girl quickly got up and run out. Rin sighed deeply and turned to the small hole with the door. "Boilerman would be glad to hear the news about little human. Not a little now though."
Finally Chihiro lost. She didn't know what she wanted. To meet Rin and Kamaji? She ran away from them. To find Haku? She came to the field, which was beyond the holiday and other spirits. She told herself that she would not sit on the grass with her head down, and here she was.
What did she want?..
She heard footsteps before the voice.
"I couldn't even thought it can be so hard to find you."
No answer.
He sat on tiptoe next to her and didn't say another word, waiting for an answer.
"I'm scared." At least she said with muffled voice.
"No one will hurt you now," he ran his fingers through a long strand of Chihiro'd hair, tucking it behind his ears. "even Yubaba"
"I don't afraid of them".
She remained with her closed eyes and head down.
"Let me see, please, your face. Chihiro" his velvety voice, together with the calm movements of his hands that gently moved from her hair to the shoulders, calmed the girl and eventually she stirred a little, raising her head.
And finally she saw his eyes, beautiful green ones which looked at her with some strange spark and she already knew what it was.
Love.
"I missed you." he said and smiled softly and Chihiro saw in this smile something from that young boy, who saved her life and sat with her while she was crying for her parents and new world she had to get used to.
Both had tears in their eyes and Haku gripped her shoulders tighter until Chihiro realized that it wasn't enough for her and wrapped her arms around his neck pressing her nose to his chest.
"Haku" she said in a hoarse voice as she hugged him tighter until she felt him hug her too. "I missed you Haku," she whispered "I so missed you"
She breathed in the smell of the river and fresh air, running her nose over his chest. And he buried his nose in her hair and caressed her back until he finally let go of her embrace. He took Chihiro's pale face in both of his large palms, this time revealing more detail in her face and seeing the beautiful plump lips and small bright eyes that looked at him with all the love in the world. If those who knew Chihiro from her life had been here they probably would've understood Chihiro's look. The only thing missing from it was the one she had longed to look at all that time.
"You've grown up." Haku said at least and they both had laughed. "Let's go, sit in the comfort place" he stood up and lifted her up after him until he realized that she was up to his shoulder "forget about the fact that you have grown up"
She laughed again and looked up at him "I guess it's all you not me"
It seems different from her remain sixteen years ago. Then everything was fast and scary. And now when they didn't run but walk without any fear or hesitation she understood she was happy to see him. So happy she noticed she cried silently with happiness to hold his hand and follow him along the starry night sky, remembering that first morning when Haku had led her through the flower garden and not even thinking that behind him the little girl felt safe for the first time in all her time in that place behind his back, with a hand that held her tightly, with a promise to remember her name.
They sat down on a green lawn overlooking a large bridge on which spirits and other otherworldly beings walked. They didn't separate their hands. Haku kept her hand in his palms, caressing it while she was looking at him kindly. At one moment she put her head on his shoulder and Haku just laid the arm around her.
"I love you Haku." she couldn't keep it although she knew they both were already informed.
"I love you Chihiro"
They hardly said anything. Sometimes they told stories from each other's lives, held hands tightly and looked into the distance, catching the moment when the lights began to fade over time and the dark figures disappeared under the sun's rays.
"You said you're afraid."
"Well, I'm... I'm dead, aren't I?" she looked up at him and saw understanding in his eyes so she continued "What will I do? What should I do? I'm... I don't miss for my life, my parents are dead and... my friends, they will forget about me soon so I feel like I have no connection with all those years i'd been living in, it's just... like nothing for me. And this place is also nothing for me because I'd been there for accident." he listened carefully and his eyes was filled of sadness "why are you so sad?"
"You had to have a better life".
"And I did, don't doubt", she turned to him and put another hand on his chest, feeling his heart beat.
"Kamaji said it beats for you "
"What?"
"Heart." even though it wasn't exactly this context, Haku felt necessity to say to her these words and then he knew what he should say the next. "I will stand on your side forever Chihiro, you're the one I'd been waiting for from the moment i saved you."
"Haku..." she didn't know what she could say.
"Can I kiss you, please?" she stared at his serious and kindly face.
"Yes, please." and he touched his cold lips to Chihiro's, pulling her closer to him, almost to his knees. The kiss was gentle, bitter and light as they were doing it all their lives. That night they didn't stop for hours, touching each other everywhere by their lips and hands, burning the skin with touches.
"Where's Haku?" Rin asked. Chihiro stared at her and then came closer.
"You are too tall for Chihiro and your bangs are longer, not Chihiro's one."
"Funny." the spirit snorted. "he just used to always hangs around you"
"That's not true" the girl frowned.
"You just didn't notice. Everyone already knows that." the girl fell into a stupor from this news. Her Haku turned out to always be somewhere around when she thought he was doing Yubaba's errands or minding his own business.
"So now he's playing with Bou".
"Why?" Rin seemed was surprised.
"Because these are our unprecedented and strong ties with Yubaba." Rin stared at her. "I'm kidding."
The spirit breathed a sigh of relief "When did you learn to joke?"
"When I started spending time with Haku. Maybe you didn't know, but behind this serious face hides a real artist."
They were laughing when somebody cried "Rin! There's an order to you!"
"I'm coming!" the woman wished to Chihiro good luck and hid behind the corner.
Today was a somewhat special day. Chihiro had been here for about a week, in fact she had stopped counting days and hours as she realized it was an eternity. it won't stop.
She went the opposite way, turning towards the elevators. Chihiro wanted to visit Haku. Unfortunately, after going through all the floors to the very top, where there was the majestic and rich office of Yubaba, who was certainly not there at the moment Chihiro came, she found that Haku was also gone, and the child wasn't here either. Haku could only be in two places — either in their small room in the attic, or on the lowest floors in Kamaji's rooms. Since their room was nothing attractive except for a large bed (which doesn't include her right now), the girl headed downstairs, this time choosing the stairs.
Upon entering the room she immediately caught a faint buzzing, until she saw all the same familiar friends whom she had not seen for sixteen years. A small black bird and a fat mouse sat on Haku's shoulder, who was talking quietly to Kamaji.
"What a surprise who are there." Chihiro said.
Haku turned to her and smiled one of those smile he gave her every morning and every night.
"You ready?" she nodded her head. "It's time."
Chihiro came to Haku closer and took his palm into hers. "These little friends are coming with us?" she said mentioned the mouse and the bird. They nodded.
"I will be waiting for herbs" Kamaji spoke up and busy as usual to look at visitors.
"Who are we to forget, Kamaji?"
"Two lovers" it seemed Kamaji knew everything about love.
They went outside. The wind swayed the long grass, the sun burned the heads. Haku stepped forward and turned as a river dragon looking with his big eyes at Chihiro standing next to him. She did not have time to see Haku in this form yet and now held her breath looking at the majestic white creature that froze next to her.
"You're amazing" she whispered and stroked his face. The next moment they were already flying bypassing fields and streams.
Her eyes watered from the wind and her long hair grew behind her, as did the layers of clothing that were draped over her. With great speed they passed more and more kilometers until the sun stopped burning and began to set behind the horizon. Then Haku flew down, lowering her with the mouse and the bird carefully to the surface.
The moment he got the human form again he put his hand around her wrist and without hesitation came closer to the small house in the forest.
The door opened and the old woman came in to the guests.
"Granny" Chihiro threw herself into the woman's arms hearing laugh.
"I'm glad to see you to Chihiro", she stepped back, holding the girl by the shoulders "you have grown so much, my dear."
"Good evening, Zeniba" said Haku from his place.
"I didn't doubt you will meet each other again"
And then they were in the house. Small and comfortable house with many herbs on the walls and yarns in every corner. The faceless was sitting on the chair and seemed was glad to see Chihiro. A mouse squeaked from the girl's shoulder and she took it off and put it on the table so that she had more space.
"I hope Yubaba will not panic" Zeniba chuckled.
"If the baby will be happy" Haku answered. "And he definitely will."
"Well, I guess we finally can start out dinner" the witch happily prompted and took the plates.
The evening was filled with jokes, hugs, holding hands and interesting stories. Finally, she was in a place where she was understood, completely. She was finally open, as she hadn't been in all those sixteen years. Chihiro sat at the table among the closest relatives, giving the baby cookies, responded kindly to Haku's touches and watched the skillful movements of the faceless who was engaged in knitting.
Could she say she was at home? Definitely.
"You!! It's always you, bloody girl! Where's my baby?!" cried Yubaba in a squeaky voice.
"Mommy!" her son appeared into his real form in front of witch.
"Again this mouse?! How dare you do it to my kid! My love, sweetie, come to mommy, honey."
Haku and Chihiro was staying in front of Yubaba in her office and didn't do any movements.
"Should we just say that's her kid transformed himself into the mouse?" the girl whispered to Haku.
"Definitely not. Her hair starts sticking out in a very funny way when she gets angry" Haku was really an artist.