Work Text:
Title - Making Mischief with the Master (The House Arrest Can Be Fun Series)
Rating - R for adult humor.
Disclaimer - If this belonged to me and not the BBC and RTD then this would have been how this season started instead of all angsty like.
Author's note - This was brought on by a comment from jadekirk in "Time Lord Men - All the same hassles they just live longer pt 2." So I guess this is a continuation of that cracky little comedy universe. No rolled up newspaper but I hope you still approve. I may play with this universe somemore. It's fun here inside the insanity of my mind.
"Master," the Doctor shrugged from his place working underneath the console. "You dropped your screwdriver."
"Did I?" The Master grinned innocently from where he was working above the grating. "Could you get it for me? You don’t mind do you?"
"No of course not," the Doctor smiled. "Easier for me to get it." A hand appeared out of the grating holding the laser screwdriver. "How do the readings look?"
"Fine," the Master agreed. "Should be able to bring the power completely online within minutes." Looking into the hole he noticed that the Doctor wasn’t watching him. Holding the laser screwdriver out he let it drop into the hole. "Oops."
"Ouch," the Doctor said annoyed. "You dropped your screwdriver on my head."
"Sorry," the Master grinned. "Accident. Could you hand it back up please?"
"Sure," the Doctor answered. "Here you are." A hand appeared out of the grating again.
"Thank you." The Master looked at the screen again. "You’re doing fine on the transfer. Just finish up and we’ll bring the Tardis back online."
He looked up and smiled charmingly as Martha entered the console room. "Have a nice shower?"
"You jerk," she snapped. "Why didn’t someone tell me you were taking the power off line? I was half finished and the hot water cut out."
"Did I forget to tell you?" The Master snickered. "I wondered when I heard you screaming if something was wrong. Gee, my bad. Oops."
"Bastard." Martha huffed.
"Make it up to you?" The Master suggested.
"How?"
"Fetch?" He raised a brow.
"It’s childish," Martha countered.
"Fetch?" The Master prompted again and offered her the laser screwdriver.
Martha took it and grinned back. Positioning her hand over the open grate she tossed the screwdriver down below with a slight twist of the wrist so that it would fall at an angle. "You know it’s not a squeaky toy right?" Martha whispered. "The Doctor’s not a dog either."
"Define squeaky toy," the Master murmured against her ear. "I have settings on it that could make you squeak for a week."
"Be good," Martha countered and stepped away. The Master reached out and grabbed her by the shoulder and pulled her back.
"Master," the Doctor announced. "I’m going to velcro the laser screwdriver to your hand!"
"Uh," the Master moaned and rolled his eyes at Martha. "Um, sorry. Just, um keep it down there for a few moments."
"Master?" The Doctor sounded worried then. "Are you all right?"
"Fine," the Master moaned again. "Perfectly fine. Oh my Rassilon," he pounded the heel of his hand against the console loudly and then let out a deep throated moan. Martha was biting her hand to keep from laughing.
"Master? Are you ill?" The Doctor’s hands appeared on the grating and Martha quickly dropped to her knees in front of the Master.
"Stay down there!" The Master announced. "Just, everything’s fine. Perfectly fine. Just finish the repairs. Martha and I," he smirked at her then. "Oh holy," he moaned as she reached out to tickle his ankle. "That’s, um, wow. Martha and I are just discussing, um."
"Intertemporal physics," Martha panted as she said it loud enough for the Doctor to hear.
"Right," the Master agreed. "Intertemporal physics. She’s got some amazing theories in that Earthling brain of hers. We should, oh wow, we should let her try them out more."
"Master? What are you two doing up there?" The Doctor snapped now.
"Just stay down there," the Master groaned. "Two minutes. Really. I’ll give you whatever you want. Just stay there."
"Um," the Doctor’s hands reappeared on the grating.
"Bloody hell," the Master groaned loudly then and slid down next to Martha on the floor of the console room. They purposefully didn’t look at each other so they wouldn’t laugh.
"That’s it!" The Doctor announced as he pushed himself out of the hole and looked at both of them sitting against the console. "What is going on up here?"
"Nothing," the Master replied guilelessly and then reached over to run his thumb over Martha’s lip. "Not a thing."
"Martha?" The Doctor crossed his arms and looked down at her.
Martha made sure to visibly swallow and cast her eyes down before looking back up at him. "Not a thing Doctor. Everything’s fine. Are the repairs done?"
"Yes," the Doctor huffed. "We just need to reboot the power." With that he reached over and flipped a switch. "I’m going to the kitchen for a snack. Martha?"
"No thanks," she cast a look over at the Master. "I’m full."
"Master? Snack?" The Doctor prompted.
"Nah," the Master shook his head. "Could use a smoke though."
"You don’t smoke." The Doctor retorted.
"Sometimes, I understand the urge." The Master shrugged. "Just seems fitting."
"I’m getting a snack!" The Doctor announced again loudly. "What are you two going to do?"
"Shower," the Master replied as he stood up.
"Brush my teeth," Martha muttered and then took the Master’s hand and let him pull her up so she was standing.
"After you Martha dear," the Master motioned toward the doorway.
"Why thank you," she smiled.
"My pleasure," the Master replied with over exaggerated courtesy. "Trust me," he winked at the Doctor then.
"Fine!" The Doctor stormed in the opposite direction, toward the kitchen. "Perfect! When you two are done PRIMPING maybe we can go somewhere and explore. How’s Gedara sound?"
"Perfect," the Master answered. "Gedara’s really romantic at night Martha. Perhaps you’d like a walk in the moonlight?"
"Sounds lovely," she agreed and batted her eyelashes at him.
"Agghhhh!" The Doctor threw his hands up before slamming the door behind him.
When they were alone the Master put a hand over Martha’s mouth and dragged her into the opposite hallway toward the bedrooms. Once the door was closed to the console room he removed his hand from her mouth and started giggling.
"I can’t believe he fell for that again!" Martha laughed as she sank against the wall and sprawled out on the floor.
"Me either!" The Master giggled. "First fetch and then that. You have to promise me something Martha Jones."
"What?"
"You can’t leave. Just, no matter what, don’t leave."
"Why?" She managed to gasp between giggles.
"Because," the Master wiped a stray tear from his eye and clutched his stomach from laughter. "House arrest with you is just more fun than should be allowed."
"Martha?" The Doctor called from the console room.
"Oh. My. God!" Martha shrieked as the Master bit his hand to keep from laughing. "Oh my. Oh do that again!"
"Uh," the Doctor paused. "Nevermind. I don’t want to disturb your dental hygiene. I’ll talk to you later."