Chapter Text
Adaine was used to falling to the side. After all, the first fifteen years of her life were spent shrouded in the shadow of her older sister.
It was a quiet, unassuming childhood for a quiet, unassuming child.
Until her time at Augefort, Adaine was content with her life in Aelwyn’s shadow. She had always thought herself a naturally solitary person. She filled her time with quiet study, in a quest to finally do something her parents approved of.
–
She couldn't avoid describing her first day of high school as traumatic. Between the panic attack, theft, and accidental murder, it wasn't one of the shining moments of Adaine’s short 15 years.
However, there's nothing like a majorly traumatic event to really bring people together, she supposes. After the first detention, she finds herself tangled in this unlikely group of people.
They’re loud and chaotic, and Adaine loves them.
Adaine is a naturally logically-minded girl. She exists in a constant state of contrast to her friends. Fig is loud and boisterous, but she posses and confidence that makes Adaines stomach twist with shameful jealousy. Kristen loves freely (too freely, sometimes) and she’s an unending source of pep. Fabian is brash and loud and more than a little weird but she loves him just the same. Gorgug makes seemingly unexplainable leaps in logic and Adaine doesn’t always understand what goes on in his mind, but Adaine finds it endearing. Riz is strange and a little manic and Adaine could talk to him for hours.
Adaine’s never had real friends before. She also never knew she could love a group of people so fiercely.
Through all the contrasting personalities of the “Bad Kids”, Adaine finds refuge in the quiet and unwavering friendship of Riz Gukgak.
Adaine refuses to claim a favorite friend. She loves all of the Bad Kids equally, but it manifests in different ways. Riz is awkward and funny and a genius. They share a similar anxiety, which becomes the catalyst for a strange and loving friendship. Riz always seems to notice when Adaine’s feeling the all too familiar weight of anxiety in her chest. When he sees the tremor in her hands or hears the telltale quickening of breath, he’ll silently lay a clawed hand over Adaine’s wrist, his touch a grounding point.
They don't ever talk about it, they simply form a silent understanding. Riz keeps Adaine away from the edge of panic, and Adaine pulls Riz back from the edge when he’s too deep into a case
She often finds herself camped out on the floor of Riz’s office space, homework spread out around her while Riz works on a case in a familiar silence. It’s... nice to have Riz. He’s witty and awkward and weird and he’s Adaine’s person. Over time, their relationship shifts from close friends to something like siblings. (Adaine hasn't had the best luck with siblings so far, but this is looking good.)
They’re not always quiet though. They’re as good at talking as they are at not talking. On the nights when Riz can't sleep, too caught up in his work or his thoughts or the nightmares that they all have, he and Adaine talk. Sometimes about cases, sometimes not. He likes to bounce theories off Adaine and get her feedback. (Adaine doesn’t say it out loud but it makes her feel really nice that Riz values her opinion.)
On one of these nights, the topic of kissing comes up. It's all too common in their friend group, but Adaine and Riz approach the topic with measured skepticism.
“I don't really get it,” Riz says. “All of our friends are obsessed with getting their kisses in, but I’ve barely even thought about it. I…I know I don't want to kiss most people. Fabian’s like, obsessed with it. I don't get it. I’m almost 17 and I’ve never wanted to kiss anyone”<
Adaine takes time to process what Riz says. “Is that not… normal?”
Riz’s eyes flash to her, huge and yellow. Adaine words continue without her permission. “I’m not interested in kissing anyone. I don't think I ever will be.
Riz leans his head against her shoulder. “I think,” Riz starts, pausing to lick his lips. “I think I may want to like, date someday, distantly. But the kissing thing is still weird to me.”
Adaine nods to acknowledge that she's heard him, but she’s analyzing what he’s said. She doesn’t think she ever wants to date anyone.
“I don’t,” she says.
“That’s cool,” Riz says. “Dating is stupid.”
They don’t talk about it again for a really long time. Eventually, Adaine has a really long conversation with Jawbone and comes away with more pamphlets than a girl knows what to do with, but they at least serve a purpose. Adaine settles on a label.
She tells Riz on another late night, a few months after the kissing conversation. She figures he’s the best person to talk to first. She decides not to make a huge deal out of it. She just kind of…says it.
“Riz."
“Adaine."
“I have a thing to say, and I haven't said it yet, so hush for like thirty seconds."
Riz is pointedly silent. He sweeps his hand in the air in a gesture that says go on.
Why are Adaine’s hands shaking?
“Okay, so,” Adaine starts talking without a real plan. “Do you remember when we talked about…maybe not wanting to kiss anyone?”
Riz nods from his perch on his desk.
Adaine starts again. “Cool. I, um, I kinda figured it out. I don't want to kiss anyone. Right now, or ever. I don't want to date anyone either.”
Her breath comes out in a rush. She did it.
“Cool,” Riz says. “I don’t think I wanna kiss either. But the…really really distant dating still seems fine.”
“Cool,” Adaine says. They don't talk about it anymore, but when Adaine pins a pride flag to her jacket, Riz smiles at her bigger than she's ever seen.
(Later that week a similar pin shows up on Riz’s jacket.)
Adaine and Riz just make sense, from the outside. Two awkward nerds. They fall together naturally.