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Chapter Text

Zhong Chenle has a reputation .

Among their fans, he is known as President Chenle. He can be blunt, loud, and slightly cruel, even. Nobody will dare to say anything against him. Hell, he could get away with speaking casually with Mark without any consequence. And Mark is older than him by 2 years!

“It's not like anybody will notice! Your eyes can’t even be seen!” He defends, unthinkingly. Just like that, he could hear the cue for his solo performance. A performance he has perfected through years of practice.

A performance he has titled, ‘Disaster’.

                   One.

                                  Two.

                                               Three-

                                                                 Go.

“Oh.” Jisung mumbles, his usual idol facade breaks to give way to Park Jisung. Park Jisung, who spent his childhood in the safety of Busan. The same Jisung who cries when he sees ‘NCT DREAM’ in the Music Chart. The Jisung who Chenle craves, desperat-

So, yeah, Chenle was practically invincible. And having someone as delicate and gentle as Jisung near him all the time, was a bad, bad idea.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Jaemin would warn him behind the cameras. 

“Stop fucking around with Jisung. He’s sensitive.” The older would hiss. His usually gentle and loving eyes often turned cold and empty when it came to Jisung. Especially if Chenle was involved.

If Chenle didn’t know any better, he would have sworn that something was going on between the two.

“It’s not my fault that he can’t take a goddamn joke, now is it?”He would retort in reply while pushing the older man away. It always was difficult to deal with Jaemin because of how protective he was with Jisung.

The older scoffed before taking another step towards Chenle. “You don’t deserve him. You never have and never will.” he rasps out with barely hidden venom. It’s funny, Chenle decides, that Jaemin says this like it's something Chenle has never thought of. Still, hearing it from someone other than himself only further confirmed a fact that his mind would whisper in the dead of the night. The whiplash was painful and shocking, but he knew this performance by heart. He knew how he had to play this tune which his sanity and life depended on.

He could never mess it up, even if he tried.

“Yeah, yeah. I know you don’t need to remind me, hyung. I can’t hurt your sweet baby.” Chenle sneers, pushing past the dark-haired man. Jaemin can deal with Jisung’s tears and Chenle can let them improve their lovely relationship. He was giving them chances to become even closer, right? Shouldn’t they feel more thankful towards him? To protect sweet and innocent Jisung, everyone’s hero Na Jaemin will show up in his heroic glory to face the cruel monster that threatens to break and corrode all the good in the world. That hideous beast that lurked behind the shadows would finally be tied down and executed.

And everyone would live happily ever after.

A perfectly cliche ending, for a perfectly cliche story. How fun.

Chenle can’t help the ugly frown that veils his face. Jaemin’s radio silence and Jisung’s annoying pouts are going to follow him around for at least a week.

It’s an annoyance he did not sign up for.

He stabbed the elevator’s button repeatedly, trying to push the frustration that he felt into the innocent button.

‘Fuck Na Jaemin and Park Jisung in particular.’ Chenle decided, scrunching his nose while trying to keep himself from punching the stupid button. The worst part about all this was that no matter how hard he tried, even if they overcame this (they always do, this isn’t new), Jaemin’s words always served as a heavy set of chains that weighed on Chenle’s shoulders. A weight that he knew would never let him breathe as easily as he once could. Before all this, before Jisung.

Jaemin always just sighed exasperatedly, murmuring under his breath (curses about Chenle obviously. He’s loud, not deaf.) It never fails to astonish how well Jaemin played his part in this masterpiece.

No matter how hard he tried, he could never wash himself free of Jaemin’s words that seemed to clamp onto his bones with a chill.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“It’s because you’re wearing sunglasses.” He breathed out, as a weak attempt to soothe the younger. But they both knew that he wasn’t fast enough, couldn’t be fast enough, the harsh words pose as a dagger, digging into Jisung's fragile heart.

“Really? It’s like that then!” Jisung had let out, his lips, and Chenle’s heart, trembled, attempting to cover up the slight slip in his idol facade.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“You don’t deserve him. You never have and never will.”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Chenle took another sip of his velvety wine, the ghosts of his past would have a good time hissing curses and prophecies into his ears. His once trembling fingers grew numb and he could only wish, albeit bitterly, that the numbness had already started when he had grabbed the glasses from the tabletop for Jisung to choose from.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” 

After the recording of “Chenji’s This and That” episode 3, Chenle was greeted by another overprotective and short-tempered friend. If Na Jaemin was difficult to deal with, this person was an entirely new ball game.

 It was the one and only, Huang Renjun.

“Hello to you too, ge.” He quipped back, dryly. The shorter man glared at him, almost comically. The key word here being 'almost'. 

What was interesting about Renjun was that he should actually be favoring Chenle over everyone else. However, in this twisted and annoying world, Renjun would choose Jisung over Chenle any day. It was even more irritating since Renjun would say that he was not biased but everyone knew that deep down, he loved Jisung the most.

Chenle scoffed at the thought. Renjun, like Jaemin that annoying bastar-, also gave his fair share of threats (lightly put) to Chenle when it came to Jisung. It was a bit aggravating really. He sincerely hoped Jisung also got similar scoldings from the other hyungs. 

Not like it would ever happen anyways, precious baby Jisung had to get coddled and loved by everyone. If anything ever happened, it has to be Chenle’s fault-

“Why were you being so horrible to Jisung? You’ve been an asshole to him for the past few months !” Renjun screeched from the top of his lungs, which were unfortunately quite voluminous. It was an honest to god scam that Renjun looked like a sweet and innocent guy when in reality he was nothing more than a grumpy grandfather.

A grandfather with an obvious bias towards the youngest.

Jokes aside, Chenle could understand why Renjun adored Jisung. How could he not? Jisung was like a son to him. A devoted son who mentions him everywhere, A son who buys him things that he likes. 

“I tease him for a while and I get called an asshole? Isn’t that too much ?” Chenle retorted back while settling down on the dorm’s couch. His ge looked so out of place, so tiny, standing in the living room with his chest heaving. He looked like he would fit in Jisung’s arms much better.

Renjun probably doesn’t see Jisung as his child.

Probably something else.

“You said you didn’t want to do Chenji anymore. It didn’t sound like a joke.” The older accused. 

‘Yeah, fuck this shit. I’m out.’

Chenle glanced away from Renjun, taking a step away from him and making his way to grab his things. He had made a mistake, coming to the dorm. His original plan was to check on Jisung and then invite him to a game, but someone had successfully derailed his excellent plan.

“We all say things we don’t mean.“ He began. Renjun’s glare dug into his heart, slowly peeling the multiple layers which stood as a stoic guard to the weak organ that hid there pathetically. “That was one of the things I said which I didn’t mean. You don’t have to take everything so seriously..” He trailed off while avoiding Renjun’s gaze, hoping that the older man wouldn’t stop him from leaving.

Not that he could anyways. Zhong Chenle has a reputation to live up to. No one, not even Huang Renjun, could stop him from achieving his destiny. That destiny currently being that he got the fuck out of there as soon as possible. There was a slight shuffling noise, undoubtedly Renjun making his way to scold him for being a coward or something.

Great.

“Just because you didn’t mean it, doesn’t mean that Jisung didn’t feel hurt by it.” Renjun starts, his voice exceptionally tight as though Chenle were personally hurting him.

Chenle could only release a harsh sigh and leave the dorm.

Why was it always so cold in November?

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Chenle tried to diffuse the tension by looking at the photo Jisung had taken and calling him out for focusing on the Donald Duck background instead of him. Jisung, who was probably still stuck on that comment, had taken the bait and immediately took another picture of him.

“Ok, this one’s not that bad. Your turn now.”

Jisung sat down again, on that obnoxiously red sofa which only seemed to agitate Chenle more. He began to speak about something along the lines of posing and then moved unnaturally and froze.

Oh, so he wants that kind of concept?

Chenle steadied his already quivering fingers and captured the moment, heart heavy and cold.

Why? Why on earth was he-

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Their fans often mentioned that Jeno was partial toward Chenle. He would always pick Chenle as the cutest member in Dream and would carry him around. Chenle could accept it to a certain extent, but not when it came to Jisung.

There was also a running joke amongst the members, that Jeno and Jisung were truly in love. Jeno would pick Jisung for everything and the younger would brush him off. It was like a push-and-pull relationship. Chenle would always bring it up, whenever the opportunity arises, enjoying how vehemently Jisung would deny the allegations with puffed-up cheeks and a cute scowl. 

“Chenle..”

Maybe it’s because he relied on Jeno, or because Jeno cared about their Maknae too much, but getting scolded by Jeno always hurt him. The older was currently looking at him with a slightly guarded expression. He probably heard about what he said to Jisung during Chenji’s This and That.

A sick feeling began to rack up in his chest.

“Jisung didn’t talk that much yesterday. Do you know why ?”

When Jeno turned up at his place, he seemed tense. Chenle let him in and tried to get him to relax a bit, billions of thoughts passing through his head.

Did I mess up?

What did I do? 

Did I break something?

Did something happen to Jisung?

“Oh.”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Chenle still wonders why Jisung looks for him at the end of the day.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Jeno had left him after scolding him for a while. He seemed more annoyed when he left, his shoulders even more tense than when he arrived.

“You’re a hypocrite. I hope you know that.” 

Of course, Chenle knew.

How could he not?

A few years before he had told the fans that the hyungs teased Jisung for his eyes, he had reprimanded them indirectly and Jisung looked so happy that day. Yet, in typical Zhong Chenle fashion, he went and fucked things up and ended up poking at something he knew Jisung was insecure about.
 

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Only Mark and Donghyuck hadn’t come to him. They were probably comforting Jisung or they were busy with promotions. Either way, they weren’t here and Chenle was glad.

After filming a new content, Jisung had left abruptly saying he had to do something. It was a lie, an obvious one, but Chenle let him go. The tension between himself and the other dream members only grew as time passed. (excluding Donghyuck and Mark, for the time being).

Renjun would glare at him when he thought that he wasn’t looking, Jaemin ceased to interact with him (the silent treatment? Really?) and to top it all, Jeno lost his temper with him over the silliest matters. Maybe the worst of all the nonsense was that Jisung no longer looked him in the eyes.

It was all so petty.

It made his stomach churn as his heart quickened.

This fight was so childish and annoying.

He missed his Kun-ge.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“Ge ?”

“Chenle ?”

“Do you want to go for a walk ?”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

The walk with Kun was refreshing. 

Kun had told him about the latest things going on in the WayV dorm, how Dejun had fought with Bella over something silly. It was so funny that Chenle almost tripped over a stone. And to make things even better, Kun had treated him to a meal.

At the end of the day, Kun ended up hugging Chenle and taking him back home.

“I’m so happy that you wanted to go for a walk !”

“Really ?”

Kun had sparkly eyes while he gushed about how much he missed Chenle and how he was so proud of him. Before leaving, Kun had mentioned something about how he was arguing with Ten over something stupid.

Chenle giggled before letting Kun go with a big hug.

It was nice, this normal feeling.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Shooting was no longer as easy as it used to be.

At least not when everyone was against him. 

But by now even the managers had realized what was going on. They would sigh more often and scold all of them for their immature behavior.

“You all are adults! If there is an issue, you must sort it out before it affects your job.” Manager Hyung would say often, shaking his head at them like they were a bunch of kindergartners. 

So, they had to sit down and talk it out. Frankly, it was painful and awkward and Chenle wanted nothing more than to leave. 

“Bottom-line is that Chenle was wrong for being mean and he should apologize for his behavior.” 

God, nothing was going to come out of this until he apologized. 

        A beat.

                         Two beats-

“Jisung, I’m sorry. I have been horrible to you. I’ll behave myself. I’m sorry.”

This was so difficult. 

Apologizing was never his forte. He knew that the hyungs were right. He had been horrible to Jisung. 

Jisung looked into his eyes and Chenle looked back, ensuring that his carefully crafted mask would not fall into pieces. Jisung blinked, and his face relaxed.

“Okay. You can’t be horrible to me anymore if you feel sorry.”

The tension that threatened to choke everyone in the room disappeared immediately. Like it had been placed into another place. Like everyone had been set free. Jaemin immediately let out a sigh of relief.

Jeno sunk back into the sofa where he had been sitting while Renjun made his way to the kitchen to get a glass of water because “the past twenty minutes have been so stressful, ugh”. Donghyuck and Mark launched into a conversation about how they were so glad that they solved this issue and how they never wanted to see Chenle and Jisung fight again.

Chenle offered a raspy laugh in return while standing up and making his way toward the table where he kept his bag. He opened it, ensuring he had all his stuff, and made his way to the door.

“Chenle? Where are you going ?” 

“I’m going home, that shoot exhausted me. Why, is something wrong, Renjun-ge?”

Jaemin, who was bringing out the plates with Jisung, glanced at the two who were communicating in Chinese and then back at Jisung. The youngest stared at the plate determinedly, only glancing at Chenle once or twice.

Renjun said something with his eyebrows furrowed, only one word recognizable to everyone’s ears.

Jisung.

Chenle rolled his eyes at Renjun and glanced at the table where everyone seemed to magically appear. Jeno, who had been staring at the pair shamelessly, suddenly whipped his head around to look at a wall and discuss its status with Donghyuck, who easily carried on the conversation for him.

Chenle had said something else with a slight edge to his words and then he had left, shutting the door behind him softly. Renjun stared at the door for a while before making his way toward the table.

“He said that he’s too tired and he wanted to go to bed.”

Jeno tilted his head. 

“Couldn't he just rest here? He could have slept here with anyone, right ?” 

Jaemin hummed in response to Jeno, his eyebrows were also furrowed. Jisung looked at Renjun with an unreadable expression. 

“Let’s just eat dinner.”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

The chill in his bones never ceased until he had taken a warm shower. Daegal had welcomed him with the excitement of a two-year-old child and that was all that Chenle needed. After his shower, he sent a message to Jisung and then one to the rest of the Dream members.

He had hurt Jisung. So why didn’t Jisung hurt him in return? Why did Jisung forgive him? Why did Jisung not look at him? 

Didn’t he hate Chenle? Shouldn’t he hate Chenle?

Daegal snuggled closer into his chest while Chenle pet her gently.

“Daegal-ah, your father is a bad person. Bad people need to get punished.”

Daegal let out a whine, as though she were trying to disagree.

“I don’t understand him at all.”

Chenle sighed and pulled the puppy closer before closing his eyes tightly.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Zhong Chenle never really understood why Park Jisung was the way that he was. 

He knows that he takes things too far. So why on earth does someone like Jisung, who enjoys things in moderation, still stick around?

Chapter Text

Let it be clear, no matter how much his hyungs insist, Park Jisung is not some weak-kneed little baby who needs constant protection. He’s perfectly capable of taking care of himself, thank you very much . Sure, he wasn’t great at cooking (...everyone has their flaws) and, yeah, he was a bit shy. But when it came down to it, he could definitely survive on his own.

Survive, yes.

Live?

Maybe not.

You see, living and surviving were two different words. Living included being satisfied with his situation. Right now he was not at all satisfied with anything. Not with how Chenle kept choosing everyone over him, nor with how the others looked at him. Pitifully. He’s especially unsatisfied with how Chenle went out of his way to avoid him.

After knowing each other for 8 years or so, Jisung can confidently say that he knows Chenle. He knows how he thinks and how he perceives the world. He knows his insecurities and how he hides his emotions from others because he doesn’t want to burden them.

More than that, he knows that Chenle’s hiding something from him. 

‘God, I wish Chenle would just tell me instead of fucking off and putting this annoying distance between us.’ would be his usual line of thoughts but this time, things would be different. He doesn’t want to take the first step. If Chenle wanted to be a bitch, fine. 

Jisung could also play his stupid game.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

It starts off slow. 

Jisung doesn’t tolerate Chenle’s usual bullshit as much as he used to. If the older went against him in some content that they were filming, Jisung doesn’t hold back like he normally would, not forgetting to keep up a smile for the cameras so that the fans didn’t catch on. Although egging Chenle on seemed to be a great idea in theory, getting a chance to watch those - oh so soft- kitten-like lips falter for half a second didn’t really make him feel any happier with their shitty ass situation to be honest. 

Hell, if anything, it just made the growing restlessness in his chest scratch against the walls - that were built without his fucking permission that too- between them.

The hyung’s shoot him weird looks when the camera isn’t focusing. He feigns ignorance. Chenle’s doing the exact same shit to you , his very helpful brain provides as he continues to stare at a particularly interestingly shaped star that hangs onto the set’s walls.

“Jisungie are you ok?” 

Comfort approaches him in the form of Na Jaemin. Kind eyes, almost overflowing with genuine love and adoration, almost makes Jisung spew out the truth. 

‘Something’s wrong with Chenle and he won’t tell me.’

‘Chenle is ignoring me.’

‘I miss my best friend.’ 

But how can he say that? How can he say that he wants to be the only person Chenle turned to when he was unhappy? How can he possibly be that selfish?

He can’t.

He can’t risk Chenle like that.

So, instead, he gives Jaemin a weak smile and a pat on the back, giving some lame half-hearted excuse about how the choreography was just ‘not his type’ and ‘the whole song wasn’t his vibe yet’. The older watches him, uncertainty painted all over his handsome face. Jisung knows he’s not convinced but he won’t bring it up again. Not unless he wants a front row ticket to Jisungs soon approaching heartbreak. 

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Then that disaster of a “Chenji’s This and That” episode happened. And Chenle’s sunglasses statement happened too. He knows Chenle doesn’t mean it like that. Of course, Chenle wouldn’t say anything with cruel intentions. It still stung though. He wonders if this is the price of being so wholly known by someone. 

But when the older peeked at him while cuddling his pillow, eyes sparkling as he tried to convince Jisung to choose pottery for the next episode, Jisung falls for him again. And for a second he forgets how awkward and tense they were in the beginning of the shooting, forgets that Chenle and him are fighting. All he knows is that it's him and Chenle, as it has always been.

‘ I must like him a lot ’, he can't help but muse as he rewatches the episode, for maybe the fifth time . To think that all it took to subdue his hurt and anger was a pretty smile from Chenle. 

It’s a good thing that he gave up on his ‘being-an-asshole’ plan a long time ago. This episode stood as proof that he was a fool when it came to his best friend. The stupid smile that currently resided on his face probably stood as proof to that hypothesis.

From the corner of his eyes he sees Renjun watching him, concern etched all over the elder’s face. He must think that Jisung finally lost his mind, to keep rewatching that fucking episode again and again. And then that particular clip where Chenle kept whining so that they could do pottery next time.

He’s not that far off really, Jisung thinks he might have too.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

 Regardless, Jisung won’t completely give up. He’s above such cowardly tactics, this time he  refuses to give in without a fight at the very least. If Chenle chooses him once, though, Jisung can adjust his ‘being-a-well-mannered-asshole’ plan.  

But of course that’s another problem for another day. He had already stopped choosing Chenle over others and now he stopped talking to him as much. He spent more time with his hyungs and Sungchan. He notes with slight satisfaction that Chenle seemed a bit more upset than he usually was when Jisung didn’t spend time with him. Small frowns and passive-aggressive messages are what Jisung gets greeted with nowadays.

But it showed that the older realized that Jisung had no plans on approaching Chenle like he usually did. The only unfortunate part about his unexpectedly successful plan was that Chenle wasn’t exactly the only one.

“What the fuck is up with you both?”, Is what Jeno greets him with. The usually non-confrontational man stood in front of him, hands folded against his chest. Although he looks kind of intimidating, eyebrows pinched and his entire body stiff, Jisung thanks god because at least it wasn’t Mark . 

“Yo, you guys need to chill bro. I know that if you guys talk it out everything will go back to normal again, alright? Anyways I’m gonna go and catch dinner at Chenle’s place again, he’s making my favorite! ”  

God. Thinking about it just itched at the restlessness that now began to claw at his chest - ’don’t do this, you could lose him!’ it screams - , very uncomfortable and overall a 1/10 experience.

“What’s up with who?” He gives Jeno in response, a bit annoyed with how the older just inserted himself into their problem like he could somehow magically fix everything. They could handle it by themselves, thanks a lot.

The older rolled his eyes and invited himself into Jisung’s room, settling on Jisung’s side of the bed (Chenle usually sat on the other side whenever he crashed at the dorms to play some game with Jisung). 

Jisung officially cannot wait for this to get over. 

“Don’t play stupid. Just because Chenle thinks it's cute, doesn’t mean that it actually is.” the older supplied, seemingly as done as Jisung was with the conversation. 

Honestly, what the fuck. His thoughts must be obvious because Jeno rolls his eyes again like he’s some sassy teenager again and not an old and cranky grandpa. 

“Listen, Chenle started this shit. I’m not going to go and apologize to him for anything.” He hisses out, hoping that Jeno would take it as it was and fuck off.

“What shit?”, well fuck of course this was going to happen. Of course Jeno wouldn’t let it go. Honestly, Jisung was a fool for considering that for even a second. This was Jeno, the same guy who made them cycle at 3 in the morning to talk about their feelings. 

“Can you just let it go man?” Jisung begs as he tries to think of literally any reason to kick Jeno out before he gives into primal desire and just throws him out using brute strength. The older’s lips pursed as he regarded Jisung, gears shifting and Jisung hopes that Jeno will do one good thing today by letting Jisung wallow and go crazy on his own .

“I’m 2 years older than you, punk.”

Ugh.

“So sorry hyung, allow me to rephrase. Can you just let it go, Hyung??”

If the way Jeno’s lips twitch indicate anything, Jisung would most definitely be getting the scolding of his lifetime. He sends a silent plea for help to all the gods he knows and asks them to convey his love to his family and friends.

He can already hear the funeral procedures,

  Here lies Park Jisung, Cause of Death Lee Jeno and Withdrawal from his best friend Zhong Chenle. He will forever be missed and cherishe-

“I’ll let that pass only because you look like shit.”

Okay, low blow . Jisung can’t stop the frown that most definitely decorates his face.

“Is it because Chenle hasn’t been paying attention to you as much?” 

And, wow , that was surprisingly accurate. Also surprisingly annoying. Saying it to himself in the middle of the night was one thing, hearing someone else say it was another ball game on its own.

“What?”

He hopes Jeno doesn’t hear the underlying desperation that coats his voice, as it has been recently when it came to Chenle. Unfortunately, nothing ever goes right when it comes to things like this and Jeno must have sensed that he hit a nerve because he immediately began glancing to the side sheepishly. Besides, what the hell does he mean by Chenle hasn’t been paying attention to him much?

 He was. 

Jisung knows for a fact that Chenle was just as affected as he was about the stupid tension that was growing between them.

Jeno waves his hands around trying to conjure up the right words before carefully saying, “It’s just that…he doesn’t exactly seem as affected as you are, you know? He’s still doing whatever he wants and he’s still hanging out with Mark. It's either he’s not paying attention to you and so he hasn’t noticed how you don’t even talk to him as much as you used to or he just doesn’t care.” 

This , Jisung decides, is where he will draw the line. 

“Hyung, I think you should go now. I’ve got some work to do.” he hears himself say, suddenly uncaring of how his voice trembles slightly. Jeno seemed like he wanted to say more but, thankfully, he just stood up and left, not forgetting to pat Jisung’s head on his way out.

‘ They don’t know him ’, he thinks to himself angrily. ‘They don’t know that he’s also upset. He is upset…right?’

Jisung does not particularly like this doubt that was being sewn into his head. He knows how sensitive Chenle actually was. He knows Chenle would eventually come and talk to him about this. The older would never let their friendship die over something small like this. 

They would have their talk and overcome this. 

They had to.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Jisung wonders, late at night as he curls into himself, why are they even fighting? What even prompted Chenle to start keeping distance from him?

When will he come back?

Will he ever come back?

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Shooting has been getting tougher than usual these days. 

The rest of Dream seemed to have caught up with the status of their Maknaes. Jaemin kept his distance with Chenle, a sign of his support for Jisung, while Renjun glared at their second youngest when he thought the latter wasn’t looking. Hell, even Jeno seemed to be fighting with Chenle too.

Normally , Jisung would appreciate their support. When they were younger, the other members getting involved just meant that he would get an apology from Chenle and they would go back to normal within 2 days. Normally he would not be telling them to back off and stay out of this.

It’s just that Jisung can’t bear to see Chenle sulk and refuse to look in his direction. Nevermind that his insecurities about their friendship were beginning to overtake his entire being. Nevermind that he can’t help but feel like Chenle will replace him with someone else, someone cooler maybe . Chenle’s trembling fingers and downcast eyes tug at his heartstrings far too much for him to even consider not telling the others to stop being so fucking mean to his favourite person.

The hyungs agree, a bit reluctantly, guilt clouded faces meekly apologizing for getting so involved in the first place. Jisung is no fool, he knows that the reason why they aren’t on good terms isn’t just because the two of them were fighting, he’s intelligent enough to understand that they probably approached Chenle about this and had their own arguments with him too.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

The Manager hyungs ended up calling an intervention. They were all made to sit down in the dorms and talk it out. Chenle looked so damn small on the chair he was trying to disappear in it. Honestly if it were any other circumstance, Jisung would probably coo and call him cute. 

“Bottom-line is that Chenle was wrong for being mean and he should apologize for his behavior.”

Jisung sees the discomfort in Chenle’s eyes as he steels himself and apologizes. He’ll take the first step after Chenle apologizes. Fuck everything else, he’ll be damned if he doesn’t get Chenle in his arms soon.

 One beat.

                          Two beats-

“Jisung, I’m sorry. I have been horrible to you. I’ll behave myself. I’m sorry.”

Jisung has known Chenle for 8 years. Jisung knows chenle.

“Okay. You can’t be horrible to me anymore if you really feel sorry.”

Fuck.

Fuck, Chenle wasn’t coming back.

The next 10 minutes are a blur. The others were finally able to relax, setting up dinner, talking about something . But Jisung can’t focus. He’s losing Chenle. God, has it always been this loud in their dorm? He grips the plate he’s holding a bit tighter, staring at the flowery design on it. Jaemin squeezed his shoulder gently, probably sensing that something wasn’t right.

“Inhale through your nose. Exhale through your mouth. It always helps in calming down, don’t forget ok Jisung-ah ?” 

Right. 

He just had to listen to Chenle’s ghost.

Shit , he doesn’t want to go out. He can’t go out. He can't see Chenle pretend like everything's alright when it’s not. 

By the time he gathers the courage to face Chenle, he hears sharp voices. Renjun and Chenle seem to be ‘talking’. About him.

In.

Out.

He glances at them once or twice. Chenle is strung up tight, ready to burst. Jisung thinks that he can understand, he’s going to burst too. Chenle says something in mandarin. Now he’s no expert in the language, he still knows only bare minimum mandarin, but it's enough to understand the first part of Chenle’s statement.

“He’ll be fine without me.”

Chenle then saw himself out, uncaring of how silent the room fell and how the others stared at him as he left. Jisung feels sick . Renjun tells them some bullshit lie, probably in an attempt to keep whatever peace they just achieved. 

“He’ll be fine without me.”

The ‘he’ in question begs to differ. They have their dinner and Jisung goes straight to bed. If a few teardrops stain his pillow the same way Chenle’s words stained his heart, it would be a secret between him and god alone. 

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

In his dreams Chenle clings onto him while they take on the world. They are together.

Feline smiles and sweet giggles surround him, and Jisung aches.

“Chenle, I love y-”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Park Jisung is possessive. 

“He’ll be fine without me.”

He is not one to let go of what he loves. Less so when it is his.

“Is it because Chenle hasn’t been paying attention to you as much?”

Chenle knows him.

 “ don’t forget ok Jisung-ah ?”