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Dognapping 101

Summary:

Peter and Neal (Jason) are supposed to be on a regular undercover mission. When their cover threatens to be blown, help comes from an unexpected corner.

Jason just wants to know why his little brother is there.

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“You remember the plan?” Asks Peter. He looks at Neal. It is strange to see him this way, without his suit and fedora. If Peter didn’t know any better he would never have guessed that this was the famous Neal Caffrey. He looks unremarkable in his faded red hoodie and his white washed jeans that have clearly known better days. Peter briefly wonders where Neal got his clothes, probably from Mozzie.

Peter himself was wearing something similar and would join Neal ten minutes later in the bar. One of its wealthy patrons was using art to pay for drugs. Hopefully in this stakeout they could overhear something to help them take down the drug boss.

As Peter walks in ten minutes later he immediately spots the kid. He doesn’t know why or how, but for some reason the kid saved his ass when his cover was threatened to be broken. The kid, Jasper Malone, walked up to him and called him his uncle Peter. The suspect believed the kid when he vouched for Peter. To his surprise Jasper also began making small talk about Satchmo. The kid didn’t seem to be a threat, but still. Peter wasn’t happy.

The kid wasn’t the only one to claim Peter as his uncle, usually saving the sting, there is apparently a whole family of Malone’s. Peter often wondered how he won their loyalty for if he got caught the Malone family would go down with him.

Their favourite subject to talk about is Satchmo, but the first time they referred to auntie El Peter felt his heart stop for a moment. Only the fact that they didn’t seem malicious saved El from getting a protection detail.

Diana and Jones are also claimed by the Malone family, Diana is apparently their adoptive aunt on their second eldest mother’s side and Jones is her boyfriend. The first time Peter heard about it he had to stifle a chuckle. Of his team only Neal hasn’t been claimed by the Malone family. Diana and Jones have a bet about how long it will be for him to get claimed. Perhaps today will be the day.

Peter hopes it won’t come to that, he doesn’t like when children get involved in his cases. The situation is usually too perilous. Hoping to avoid being seen by the kid he slinks by and joins Neal in the back near their suspect. Neal is sitting with his back towards Peter, but he still manages to detect him.

“Bad night?” He says with a thick accent similar to the one that is spoken by the Malones.

“Could be worse, ya got something to drink?” Peter replies with a slightly exaggerated New York accent. The conversation is mostly nonsense, just to keep up the charade of two friends meeting up in a bar.

They talk lightly about different topics, while the conversation behind them is transmitted via a bug. Peter begins to sweat slightly when more and more suspicious looks are thrown their way. Specifically, Peter’s way. If he didn’t know Neal’s lifestyle any better he would say he feels right at home with his hoodie in the back of a pub.

To Peter’s horror and also a bit relief Jasper Malone is walking up to them. The Malones are apparently known throughout the criminal community and are generally left alone. That’s how they saved their asses a couple of times when the sting went south.

“Uncle Peter.” Jasper nods and sits down opposite of Neal.

Neal looks shocked for a moment and glances confused between the two. Peter hopes that Neal will play along.

“Ain’t it a bit late for ya to be here?”

“Nah, pa knows I can take care of meself.”

Neal rolls his eyes. “Ya mean ya snuck out.”

“What he don’t know, he don’t mind.”

Peter let’s out an imperceptible sigh of relief. Neal’s playing along and so is Jasper. Peter wonders what relation Jasper will claim to have with Neal. They are in the same age range for brothers, but that probably won’t work. The Malone brothers are too well known to randomly claim another one, particularly an older brother. Maybe a cousin?

Peter has met three of the four brothers. Jasper, Johny and Danny, he has yet to meet Robbie.

“Ya free tomorrow?” Asks Jasper suddenly.

“Yeah, why ya wanna know?” Neal immediately looks suspicious.

“We need your help to steal Satchmo.” Peter can feel his blood pressure rise.

“Ya got a plan?”

“Yeah, me and Danny got a plan but we need you for it to work.”

“You guys do realise that I’m sitting right here.”

They both smile at him innocently, but it doesn’t fool Peter for a second. Rather late he sees that the suspicious looks have stopped since Jasper has joined them. The suspect ends up leaving without suspecting them in return.

Jasper and Neal end up outlining a whole plan to steal Satchmo and if Peter has to be honest it would probably work. When sufficient time has passed to leave unsuspected it is dark outside and the streets are practically deserted. They move towards a black van where Diana and Jones are sitting.

Diana smiles warmly at Jasper. “Hey, Jay. How’s my favourite nephew?”

Neal rubs his eyes. “Right, Jones who are you? His milkman?”

“We don’t have a milkman.” Informs Jasper smugly. “He’s aunt Diana’s boyfriend.”

To Peter’s surprise Jasper has lost his accent completely.

“Doncha have somewhere else ta be? People ta annoy?”

“Nope, I’m good.”

“Jay, do we have to drop you off somewhere?” Asks Jones. To Peter’s surprise he sees Neal looking quizzical at Jones, before seemingly realising something and schooling his face to something more neutral.

“Nah, I’ll probably crash in one of my brother’s safe houses .”

“Ain’t he a security risk? Should we really be drivin’ him ‘round?”

“Neal, he’s a kid.”

Neal turns to Jasper. “I don’t think yer brother is gonna appreciate leadin’ the FBI ta his safe house.”

“Oh, I’m sure he won’t mind.” He replies looking Neal straight in the eyes.

“Aight, how about I just drop ya off so the FBI doesn’t know where yer brother’s safe house is.”

“It’s outside your radius.” Jasper says with a shit eating grin.

“Lucky, for ya I ain’t wearin’ the anklet now.” Neal practically growls still talking in that accent.

“Neal, if Jay doesn’t mind us knowing his safe house we will drop him off. I’ll even take you out of your radius if you’re that concerned about his safety. And drop the accent.”

“I’m not concerned.”

The rest of the ride is spent in silence as Jason throws subtle glares at Tim, when he thinks no one is looking. Tim on the other hand looks totally unconcerned and even amused with the situation. In the end Jason’s argument wins and Tim is dropped off in the vicinity of Jason’s safe house.

As Peter drives Neal home, he demands answers. “What the hell was that?”

“What was what?” Neal acts clueless, not fooling anyone.

“With Jay, you were acting weird.”

“I just don’t like kids.”

Peter throws him a look. “You don’t like kids. When there’s a case with a kid involved you’re the first one to talk with them.”

“He just got on my nerves.”

Jones throws him a commiserating look. “I get what you mean, my little brother gets on my nerves all the time.” Imperceptible Neal freezes for a moment, before forcibly relaxing.

Luckily for Neal they approach his apartment and he wastes no time in saying goodbye and jumping out of the car. Later, when Jason is sure none of the others will follow him in his apartment, he dials a number. “The hell was that ‘bout, Timbo?” The only response he gets is laughter.