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Hobie could practically sleep through anything.
Seriously, London bridge itself could be falling down outside his window and Hobie wouldn't even stir at the noise.
He never knew why he could sleep through noise so easily, because being spider enhanced improved his hearing tenfold. When he was awake, he could hear conversations two rooms away, but asleep? He could barely hear his alarm.
Miles, however, was a very light sleeper. Everyone in his house had to memorize which floorboards groaned and the doors that creak so as not to disturb his sleep. It was both a blessing and a curse.
And so because Miles was such a light sleeper, he heard the frantic shuffling happening in the kitchen. He could tell the people making the noise were trying to be quiet, but their efforts didn't conceal the ruckus that Miles was awoken by.
Quietly (not that it matters), Miles stepped out of his and Hobie’s shared bed to see what his two children were up to in the kitchen.
When he walked into the kitchen, it was nothing short of chaos. What he assumed was pancake batter was dripping down the counters and on to the cabinets. Orange halves were on the floor near a glass pitcher with seemingly fresh squeezed orange juice. There were also numerous egg shells skewed about, which made Miles extremely nervous as to how safe both the scrambled eggs and the rest of the things he was about to consume were.
And standing amidst all of the mess were his two ten year old children, Mateo and Hannah.
“What the..” he muttered, trailing off before any swears could leave his mouth.
Both his children jumped at the sudden voice that had appeared in the doorway. Immediately, they both stopped whatever they were doing and rushed to the doorway.
“NO! NO! You can’t see yet!” Mateo chanted while jumping up and down while flailing his arms; however, it wasn't helpful that he was around 4 ft compared to Miles over 6ft. Miles easily sidestepped both of the children to enter into the kitchen. While the mess was amusing, he realized laughing would only make the children think this disaster of a kitchen would be acceptable.
He turned to face both his children, with a stern look on his face before saying,
“You both know you're not allowed to use the stove without adult supervision.”
The children gave their father their most solemn look. “We wanted to surprise you and Dad with breakfast..” Hannah said sadly. Mateo nodded in agreement.
Miles sighed, whatever anger that could have possibly been in him bled out immediately at those words. “I appreciate that and I’m sure your dad does as well, but we can always make breakfast together. One of you guys could have gotten hurt.” He sighed before bringing both his children in for a hug. “Tell you guys what, why don't we finish this breakfast and we can give it as a surprise to your dad?”
The twins’ spirits were immediately lifted as they worked to finish the surprise for Hobie.
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The breakfast was mostly finished. The pancakes were made, the orange juice was squeezed, and while he was still skeptical about the eggs, he decided to leave it be. They also manage to get the kitchen mostly clean, but Miles knew the dishes were going to come back and kick him in the ass later.
Only one thing remained, the pack of bacon sitting in front of him. It wasn't until about five minutes ago that Miles came to the realization that he actually didn't know how to cook bacon. Of course he eats it often, but he's never cooked it. Hobie usually cooked their breakfast in the morning, he stuck to dinner.
He thought for a few minutes. He knew he needed a pan, and he knew he needed a grease of sorts to cook it.
He chose canola oil.
Pouring a large amount into his deep pan, he turned the burner of his gas stove on.
He started on low, but he gained some confidence and turned it up to high so the oil would cook faster.
When the oil started bubbling, Miles started dropping a few pieces of bacon into the pan. It was going well, he felt, so he continued to cook.
But there was one time, just one when the oil popped a little too high.
Right into the gas burner.
No big deal, just a small fire. He quickly grabbed some water and poured it on to the small fire.
And that's when all hell broke loose.
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Hobie could sleep through any noise. Extreme thunder, construction. It was a product of living in New London. It was never quite.
But just because he could sleep through any noise, does not mean he could sleep through any smell.
So as soon as he caught a small whiff of smoke, he was hopping out of his bed and running towards the kitchen.
He stood in the doorway and watched as a small fire form under the pan currently on the stove. Before he could think to intervene, he watched as Miles poured a cup of water on the fire. Miles yelped as the fire grew larger running around the kitchen, pushing the children out the closet exit as they screamed.
“Crikey!” Hobie exclaimed before rushing to grab the boxes of baking soda off the edge of the counter. He quickly opened and dumped the contents on to the growing fire, and watched as the flames died down and eventually were extinguished.
The smoke alarm, then, went off.
“Happy Father's day!” Mateo and Hannah exclaimed, hopping out of their hiding spot.
Hobie slowly turned towards Miles. His husband gave an innocent shrug, before cleaning the new mess they had created.
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Once they had cleaned the kitchen and got Hobie cooking bacon the correct way, the small family finally got their food plated and they sat down to have a normal meal.
“Never took you to be an anarchist, Love.” Hobie teased.
Miles flushed red before proclaiming, “I don’t understand what happened! What could have possibly gone wrong?”
Hobie chuckled while helping his children cut their pancakes, and then sat down.
“Well first, bacon has its own grease.” He ate a piece of the meat. “You don't need, and you shouldn't use oil.”
“Second,” he said, cutting into his pancake and taking a bite. “Never use water in a grease fire, Darling.”
Miles huffed before eating his own food. His children giggled to the side as they discussed the thrilling scene they had just witnessed.
“Papa tried burning the house down!” Hannah laughed, Hobie and Mateo soon followed. Miles scowled and blushed as he continued eating his food.
“Oi, don’t be embarrassed, Love. We all make mistakes.” Hobie said with a small laugh.
“Just eat your breakfast.” Mile mumbled, which only made Hobie laugh more as he took a bite of the eggs.
“Are these meant to be crunchy?”