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He watches as Simon leaves the room, his lips still tingling from his kiss, hands shaking as they remember how it felt to have the boy in his arms. The door latches shut and a breathless laugh leaves his lips, fingers carding through his hair as he exhales slowly. The first time Simon had kissed him he was sure it would never happen again, with the way that the boy had run away and then avoided him, but then it did . He had gone after Simon, feeling jealous and unrightfully hurt by the fact that the boy was dancing with someone else. He had someone on his arm, batting her eyelashes, giggling at everything he said and all he could focus on was the way someone else had their hands on Simon's waist, on the way that Simon was peering up at the older boy, wishing that it was him instead.
Then he saw Simon's deep brown eyes meet his own and he faltered, swaying as his breath catches, Ella's arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him down in a way that felt suffocating, hands reaching for her waist to steady himself. When he looked up again, Simon was pushing at the taller boy's chest and running out, Wille mumbling a jumbled excuse to the girl latched to him before he stumbled after the curly-headed boy.
He didn't know what he was planning to say when he reached him, all he knew was that he needed to see him. The last thing he expected was for Simon to be mad at him for being with a girl when he was the one dancing with some guy. Next thing he knows they're yelling at each other and Simon is telling him to shut up and then he's grabbing Simon's waist and they're meeting in the middle and they're kissing and he's pressing Simon into the wall.
If he closes his eyes, he can still feel the way the pad of Simon's thumb felt as it wiped across his bottom lip, picture the smile pulling at the edges of Simon's own lips. As soon as the moment started, it ended. Simon had sunk back into reality and shook his head, pushing past Wilhelm and running outside, leaving him alone and confused in the back hallway of a party he didn't want to be at.
Then Simon had texted him and wanted to talk, Wilhelm smiling at his phone screen with his heart in his throat in the dead of night, the seed of hope planted way down in his bones finally starting to bloom.
He still feels the ghost of Simon's touch on his body, the sound of his laughter echoing in the now empty corners of his room, the sting of the bruise forming on his skin. He hurries to pull on the shirt that Simon had discarded, running to his mirror to tame his hair and make sure the mark Simon had left isn't visible.
He skips out on breakfast and heads straight for the school building, seemingly unable to erase the smile tattooed upon his lips. He doesn't know where all this will go or what it all means, all he knows is that when he looks at Simon the rest of the world disappears and all that remains is him. He peeks behind him and sees that Simon is making his way down the usual trail he walks, appearing as if he just came from the bus stop and not Wille's dorm, the sight only adding to the fluttery feeling in his stomach.
He continues to walk on his path, the presence of Simon down the road like a reminder of everything that just went down, barely resisting the urge to glance behind him every few seconds. He's the first one to their class, taking his usual seat as he waits to see Simon again, the boy presumably stopping at his locker before class. Then like an angel emerging, Simon is in the doorway with his flushed cheeks and wild curls, taking the seat next to his sister.
It was for the briefest of seconds but Simon had looked his way and he knew they were both remembering the same thing, Sara pulling his attention away by asking him a question. Wilhelm tries not to stare too long as an adorably confused expression passes over Simon's features before he's twisting them into a neutral appearance, some sort of excuse falling from his lips before the teacher enters and they all stand to greet them.
As they push in their chairs Simon peeks under his arm towards him and he can't help but smirk, relishing in the fact that he's not alone in this, not alone in what he feels. He finds himself getting distracted the rest of class, his eyes stuck on Simon, on his curls and the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs, on the way he shakes his head when he disagrees with something one of their classmates said, on the way he listens intently with his eyebrows drawn low. He's caught up in every facet of Simon, the boy taking up every bit of his attention.
He makes sure to slow himself down as he gathers his singular book and pencil, timing his exit with Simon so they push through the doorway at the same time, his hand on Simon's elbow for a fleeting second before he's pulling away. When he looks down at the boy he finds a blush high on his cheekbones, the sight leaving him breathless as he forces one foot in front of the other to move to his next class.
It's a dance that they run through the rest of the day, figuring out new ways to set each other off, to touch without being obvious, to show just how much they're thinking of the other in every moment. The only time they're close to getting caught is when he accidentally nudges Walter's foot on his way to bracket Simon's ankle, the boy peeking under the table in a move that gets him scrounging to disentangle from Simon, the curly-headed boy poorly hiding his laughter with an ill-disguised cough. He sends a glare to the boy before crossing his feet at the ankles and scooting them under his chair, not wanting a repeat of his misstep.
He considers messaging Simon to meet in his room after lunch but finds that there's not enough time to do any of the things he so desperately wants to, closing out of the Instagram app with a sigh. At the very least, their next period is English, where he gets to sit by Simon. The boy is already seated at their desk when he walks in, books open and ready, gaze ducking when he catches Wilhelm's. He tries to appear casual as he pulls out his chair and takes a seat, biting down the smile he feels tugging at his lips when he looks over at Simon, the boy purposefully keeping his gaze forward on the board, his body stiff.
"Do you have a pencil?" He whispers as he leans into Simon's space, the boy's eyes snapping to him, pausing as he stares at Wilhelm as if he's not sure if he heard him correctly. With a raise of his eyebrow, Simon is shaking his head and passing Wilhelm the pencil from his hand, the tips of their fingers grazing as they do so. He ducks his chin to hide the warmth in his cheeks, their teacher enters seconds later and they all hurry to stand in greeting, Simon risking another glance at him as they sit back down.
He pulls his notebook to him and flips to the next empty page, Simon sending him a questioning glance from the corners of his vision as he starts to write on the page. He starts the same message multiple times, crossing out words and rewriting them, trying out different ways to say the same thing until it sounds right. He finally figures out the right thing to say as the class period is coming to a close, hurriedly ripping out the sheet of paper and folding it to press into his palm.
He missed his opportunity to pass the note to Simon during class because he was struggling to find the words so he, on impulse, stumbles into Simon so he drops his books, the boy turning to him with a furious glare. "Are you trying to kill me?"
He feels the smirk on his lips as he quirks his head at the boy cheekily, stomach swooping at the way Simon's gaze darkens. "Quite possibly," He quips, bending down to gather the fallen books, slipping the note in between the pages of one of them as he does so, glancing up at Simon through his lashes. "Here you go," He stands, offering the stack to the boy, fingertips brushing as Simon takes them, a coiling heat finding a place low in his gut.
He jerks his head in a nod before stepping past Simon and making his way down the hall, his steps quick as he hurries to reach the doors leading outside, his skin feeling like it's on fire. The crisp autumn air is a welcome relief to his constricted lungs, the flush on his cheeks easily able to be blamed on the cold as he enters the dormitory and stumbles to his room, leaning against his closed door for support.
He checks his phone instantly even though he knows Simon won't see the note until later. The boy has choir after school today so it will be a few hours until he's at home and who knows if he'll see it even then, it may be days before he finally finds it. Before he can stress himself out any further he turns his phone off and reaches for one of his school books, figuring he might as well do something useful as he waits for Simon's text.
He hardly gets any work done but at least he's not on his phone staring at the screen, even if that's where he finds his mind. He gets through his math worksheet before he decides he's had enough and reaches for the device, turning on the screen and trying not to be too disappointed by the fact that he has no new notifications. He looks to his door, the sound of the other boys' distant conversation traveling his way, most of them hanging out in the commons until dinner is served.
He's just moving to stand when his phone buzzes and a message from an unknown number sends through, his heart skipping a beat as he rushes to unlock the screen.
hey
it's me, Simon
He huffs out a laugh at the message, relief flooding his system as he sinks down onto his mattress and wills his hands to stop shaking, typing out a message before Simon can leave his device unattended.
i figured
not many people have this number
security reasons
He bites at his lip as he watches the last message send through, his leg bouncing as he starts to second guess if he shared too much and scared Simon away. He looks at the read status and silently begs in his mind for Simon to start typing, fingers carding through his hair. Finally, he gives in and opens back up his keyboard, quickly typing out a new message.
i want to make sure we're on the same page here
The message is sent and three typing bubbles appear, a relieved sigh blowing past his lips as his chest starts to unclench and he watches Simon's message come through.
right, same here
His fingers move over the keyboard as he types out new words, hating the fact that he even has to say this, worried that such a simple thing could ruin his chances before he even had them. That's something he's always been worried about when it comes to crushes and dating, that no one would be willing to put up with all the bullshit that comes with the royal territory, that he's not enough for anyone to want to try.
okay. so this obviously has to stay secret because of who i am
The reply is thankfully quick, giving him little time to overthink and stress out.
i knew that already. besides, it's just a casual thing.
we both just happen to be attracted to each other, doesn't mean it has to be something more than that.
He falters as he reads over the words, hand flying to rub at his chest, eyebrows pinching together as he thinks over what part of this he misread. He knows what it sounds like Simon is implying and he's not sure if that's what he had been expecting, what he wanted.
like a fwb thing??
yeah
is that what you were thinking as well?
He bites too hard into the skin around his thumb, cursing as he blows on the newly opened wound, eyes stuck on Simon's question. It is what he was thinking but not what he wanted he realizes, feeling entirely out of his element as he searches for what to say now.
tbh, i've never done something like this before. dating and hookups are a bit more difficult in my life.
and it's never been with a guy
so that's new as well
He knows that this could be the turning point, the thing that tells Simon he isn't who he wanted, the chance for him to change his mind and run away. The typing bubbles appear and he holds his breath as he waits for a new message, anxious to find what Simon will say.
that's okay, it's new for me too
the fwb thing
A sigh sounds out as he pushes his hair back, adjusting himself so he's laying back on his mattress, shoulders propped up on his pillows as he waits for whatever else Simon has to add.
can i ask you a question?
He shoves down his doubt and worries and types out his reply, the skin of his cheek between his teeth.
seems fair
is this the first time you've been attracted to a guy or have you had relationships in the past?
He falters at the question, thinking back on all the people he could have possibly found attractive in the past, the ones he was dared to kiss or who had sought him out. He's known for a while that he wouldn't mind being with a guy, it was always the question if he would even be allowed to that held him back. He must have taken too long to start typing because Simon is firing off another text to backpedal his previous one.
you don't have to answer if you don't want to
i was just curious but it's okay if you don't feel comfortable, i get it
no, it's okay
there's been a few drunk kisses
but it was never more than that
so you've liked other boys before and kissed them?
not exactly
He struggles to find the right way to explain this, to put into words the fact that he never let himself like someone because it was always too complicated. It's always been hard for him to find the right words, it's even harder for him to explain something he doesn't fully understand himself.
it was mostly dares and stuff but idk if i ever really liked anyone
it's difficult to date when you have the press on your back and it's always a big thing
so i guess i just never let myself get attached
when you say it's difficult in your life to date and stuff
do you mean like NDA's?
would i have to sign one??
He laughs at the boy's question, shaking his head as his thumbs fly across the keyboard to send out his reply, thankful that he hasn't scared Simon away yet.
no, i trust you
okay, cool.
He waits for another message but it never comes, their conversation ending there. He exits the messaging app and closes his phone, his eyes shutting as he smiles up at the ceiling, a fluttery feeling in his stomach. He turns to check the time on his alarm clock, finding that it's about time for him to get ready for dinner, hauling himself out of bed and down the hall to the dining room, slipping in beside Alexander.
He's quiet throughout the meal, mainly listening in on different conversations as his mind drifts to other places. Specifically, soft messy curls and dark brown eyes, tan skin and warm lips, hidden smiles, and secret touches. Dinner passes in a haze and then he's back in his room, phone clutched between his hands as he types out a new message to Simon, sending it before he has time to stop himself.
night simon, i'll see you tomorrow
-
He watches as Simon walks through the door of their first period, brown eyes immediately catching his and sending a zip down his spine. One look at the clock tells him they have about five more minutes before class is set to begin, pulling out his phone and opening his message thread with Simon.
good morning
Simon grabs out his phone as soon as the message is sent, Wilhelm waiting from one of the tables in the back as he watches Simon read the text and turn around to peek at Wilhelm with a confused expression. He only shrugs his shoulders in response, his foot bouncing as Simon turns back around and starts typing on his screen.
good morning??
why so confused?
we never say good morning to each other
we also didn't use to kiss now did we
His heart clenches as he waits for Simon's reply to his last message, still on alert for when the boy decides he's had enough of this, of him , and changes his mind. Today isn't that day apparently because the next text Simon sends leaves him choking on air, his face heated as Simon peeks behind his shoulder towards him with a self-satisfied smirk.
true. want to do more than just kiss in your dorm later?
during lunch
maybe
i can sneak you in through the window while everyone is eating
can't wait ;)
Before their conversation can go any further, their teacher is entering and Wilhelm is snapping back to reality and noticing for the first time that all the other students have already filed into the room. He stumbles as he hurries to pull out his chair and pocket his phone, mumbling the usual greeting before their dismissed to sit with a wave of the hand. He tries to stay focused during the class but his eyes keep wandering over to where Simon sits near the front, curls falling into his eyes as he hunches over his notebook and diligently takes notes. His stomach is in knots when Simon chews on the end of his pencil in thought, adjusting in his seat as he wills himself to calm down. Lunch cannot come soon enough .
The bell is ringing and he's shuffling over to his next class in a daze, Simon's lips and his touch being the only thing occupying his mind as he transitions from one period to the next. It's right after he drops into his seat that he feels his phone buzz with a new incoming message, looking up to find Simon smirking at him as he walks through the doorway.
you're not very subtle with your staring
He looks around to make sure no one else is near enough to read over his shoulder, concealing the phone as he takes his assessment, only pulling it back out when he sees that he's in the clear. He looks over at Simon, who is currently pulling out his chair, notebooks tucked under his arm.
who says i was trying to be?
He watches as Simon opens the text and freezes, the foot that was bouncing underneath the table stilling, his sister giving him an odd look as she sinks into the chair next to his, Simon hurrying to put away his phone before she has the chance to see it, Wilhelm struggling to contain his laughter. Throughout the entire period, Simon sneaks glances at him any chance he gets, meeting Wilhelm's own stare each and every time. Every stolen look just adds to the electricity humming just under the surface between them as they wait for lunch to come closer, impatient to finally get his hands on Simon in the way he's been dying to do all day.
The last period before then is like torture, not comprehending anything that's being taught as his foot bounces continuously, teeth biting at the raw and bitten skin around his thumb. When the bell finally rings, he's shooting up from his seat like a rocket and hurrying to get back to the dormitory and to his room, Simon is much the same as he rushes to gather all of his books. Wille's one of the first ones inside the building, walking past the dining hall and straight to his room. He turns in a small circle as he assesses the space, bending down to pick up any loose clothing and toss it under his bed, going to the mirror in his room to fix his hair and check his appearance. He tries to tidy up his bed a bit while he waits, adjusting objects' placements in the tiniest of amounts as he grows jittery and anxious, gaze constantly drifting to the window in hopes of seeing a familiar head of curls.
He listens as the group of boys all gather in the dining room, their chatter is loud as they collectively try to talk over each other, a reminder to Wille to lock his door in case any one of them comes to try and find him. He paces the length of his room until he hears the knock on the glass of his window, feet scurrying to take him to where the sound came from, looking down to see a fidgety Simon outside. He slides open the glass, his head shifting from left to right as he peeks at the surrounding area, hands wrapping around Simon's forearms to help him through the small opening, laughter tumbling from their lips as he nearly trips on his way in.
" Hej, " He smiles, closing the glass behind Simon, hands brushing off the shorter boy's shoulders, his stomach fluttery as he pauses to admire the vibrant flush on his cheeks, the windswept spirals of his curls, the dark look in his gaze as he peers up at Wilhelm, bottom lip tucked under his top.
" Hej ," Simon breathes, his voice low and raspy in a way that sends a shiver down Wille's spine, hands itching to touch and feel. Simon must be on the same wavelength as he is because fingers are twisting in the front of his shirt and pulling him down, soft lips crashing onto his in a hungry kiss. He wastes no time in responding to the touch, hands grabbing at Simon's waist to bring their hips together, twin moans spilling from their lips as they deepen the kiss. Simon moves to pull back but he steps forward to chase the point of contact, Simon's back hitting his desk with a choked-out giggle, hands holding onto his shoulders to steady themselves.
He opens his eyes to find Simon peering up at him through dark long lashes, lips red and bitten from their previous kisses, chest rising and falling with every panting breath. Simon looks absolutely debauched and the sight leaves him breathless, the fact that he was the cause of the boy to look such a way is like warm honey seeping into his bones. Simon is tilting up his chin to capture his upper lip once again, hands slipping into his hair and tugging, a shocked gasp leaving his lips and giving the other boy the perfect opportunity to lick inside his mouth. The sensation of their tongues passing by one another nearly makes his knees give out, weight leaning heavily on Simon and pressing them further into the desk, a hand reaching out to steady themselves on the surface, refusing to break the kiss.
Simon is then pushing at his chest so they separate, fingers toying with the edge of Wille's sweater with a question in his endless brown eyes, one that Wille answers with a nod. The cold air hits his overheated skin and sends a shiver through his body, Simon's dark eyes roaming over the new expanse of skin, hands reaching forward to touch . His fingers slide up to dip under the material of Simon's sweatshirt and touch warm tan skin, Simon gasping as his eyes fall closed, Wille taking that as his cue to get rid of the piece of fabric.
As soon as Simon's shirt is off, he's diving back in to reclaim more kisses, heated from the start as they both cling on desperately to each other. With their lips still connected, Simon pushes at his chest and guides them to the bed, Wilhelm sitting as he feels the back of his knees hit the side of the mattress, Simon climbing into his lap seconds later, fingers lost in his hair. He feels like he's in a dream he's yet to wake up from as Simon disconnects their lips to move downward, his breath warm against his neck as he starts to trail his kisses lower and lower, lightly sucking on a spot just over his collarbone.
His lashes fall closed and all he can feel is Simon and everywhere their bodies are connected, in a daze as the boy nips at the skin of his neck before guiding him to lie down on his back. Simon continues his path downward with his opened-mouthed kisses, leaving a trail of heat behind everywhere he touches. He holds on to Simon's curls like an anchor as the boy starts to reach out with his hand and touch him, watching through heavy-lidded eyes as the boy observes his reactions carefully, slowly taking him apart.
When he finally tips over the edge it's with Simon's name falling past his lips, his thumb grazing across the soft skin of Simon's jaw as he opens his eyes to look up at the boy hovering over him. The light is coming in through the crack between his curtains and bathing Simon in its light, creating a soft halo around him and making him look nothing short of ethereal. He hurries to catch his breath and will his heart to stop being so rapidly within his chest. As soon as he feels himself come back to his body, he's flipping them so he can return the favor, putting every ounce of his emotions into every press of his lips on heated skin, in every gentle caress, in every swallowed up moan, hoping to show the boy beneath his touch just how beautiful he is.
As they lay together afterward, he feels an unconscious smile pulling at the edges of his mouth, turning on his side so he can look at the boy beside him, hand reaching out to cradle the other's waist. As his palm touches Simon's bare skin the boy turns to him, cheek pillowed under his arm, warm brown eyes staring back at him and heating him from the inside out. They don't say a thing as they wordlessly look at each other, the light dancing across their skin and in their eyes. It's only as they hear the unmistakable sound of laughter coming down the hall that they fall back into reality and realize they should probably clean up if they want to be ready in time for their next class.
Simon is the first to stand, arms stretching above his head as Wilhelm watches from his place in bed. The curly-headed boy stands and starts to tiptoe around Wille's room in search of his discarded clothes, pulling on his boxers and then his pants, before finally tugging on his favorite purple sweater. Wille stays hidden beneath the sheets and watches with a knot in his stomach as Simon briefly glances at him before motioning towards the window in explanation. "I should probably go," He mumbles. Wille is only able to manage a small nod before Simon is sliding open the glass and slipping through the small space and out of Wille's room, leaving him behind to wonder what that tight feeling in his chest is meant to mean.
The same thing happens after school when Simon visits his room once again, his words getting lost in his throat as he wordlessly watches Simon leave through his window and down the trail that leads to the bus stop, Wilhelm, confused as he's left with a big ball of emotions. He's starting to think that maybe he's giving too much of himself away in this arrangement.
-
He knows Simon can feel him watching from across the room and he knows that the boy is pointedly ignoring his stare, his body stiff as he looks back and forth between his workbook and notebook, occasionally taking notes. Wille pulls out his phone with a smirk and opens their ongoing thread of messages that have kept building up over the last week.
hi
Simon doesn't even move to grab his phone, simply stopping his writing to look up at Wilhelm through his incredibly long lashes and give him a glare, a warning to stop what he can't finish. He only sends out another message to the adorably stubborn boy.
wow that was rude
simon
i have a question
He waits with the message thread still open on his screen for Simon's reaction, the boy looking up just to shake his head, going back to taking his notes. Wille can't help but notice that he doesn't write anything, his pen hovering over the page as if he's trying to get himself back in the zone. He knows that he's gotten through to the boy.
im gonna continue texting until you answer me
helloooooo
i would almost think you still hate me
Simon is shaking his head as he looks down at his workbook with an expression meant to look focused, Wilhelm smiling as he types up his next message, already imagining the blush that will blossom on Simon's cheeks, the one he loves being the cause of.
you look hot when you're focused
which is part of what i want to ask you!!!
Finally, with a sigh Simon puts down his pen and reaches for his phone, opening up Wille's many messages. He watches as Simon reads over the texts and sure enough, a blush starts to form as he types back his response.
oh my god
i DO still hate you thank you very much
also you're staring isn't subtle
i wasn't trying to be
what did you want to ask?
want to sneak into my room during lunch today?
won't it be pretty obvious if were both missing from the table ?
It would be the third time this week they would both skip out on lunch, he knows Simon is right at thinking people would grow suspicious, not that he finds himself minding all that much. He knows that Simon is desperate to keep this a secret that will never get out though.
damn ur right
i guess you were in the right to act like you were smarter than me in every class when i first got here
I DIDN'T DO THAT
it's okay you deserve to be a little cocky
how about you go to lunch for a bit and then leave early and come to my room
i'll think about it
i'll see you later ;)
He looks up with a smirk just in time to see Simon's soft smile and blush before he's ducking his head in a futile attempt at hiding it. He pushes out of his chair to make his way out of the library, purposefully walking around Simon's table to relish in the way the boy's blush only deepens the closer he gets.
He walks to his next class with a satisfied smirk still on his lips. Knowing that he left Simon behind in the library with a blush and a hidden smile gives him an odd sense of pride. He takes his usual seat near the center of the room, his phone pocketed and put away as he watches students file through the doorway and into their seats, Simon being one of the last to arrive.
The boy sits behind him this class period and he can feel his stare the entire forty-five minutes, subtly trying to steal glances behind his shoulder at any chance he gets, desperate to see the way that Simon stares openly at him. When the bell finally rings he rushes to get back to the dormitories, Simon just a few feet behind him from where he walks with Walter and Henry. As the ginger and brunette make their way to the lunch line, he pauses his journey, the two of them stopping to look at him with confused expressions.
"I'm not feeling too well," He lies, hand cradling his stomach in a show of his supposed illness. "Think I'm gonna skip out on lunch today."
The two boys nod understandably, Walter mumbling some form of 'feel better ' before Wille turns on his heel to meet Simon's stare, passing by him with a searing hand on his waist before he disconnects and continues his journey back to his room. It takes several minutes before he hears the knock on his door, a smile already on his lips as he steps to the door and turns the handle, being greeted by a flushed and antsy Simon.
His hand reaches out to wrap around Simon's wrist to tug him closer, clicking the door shut behind them as soon as Simon is through the doorway. "I knew you would come."
"Shut up," Simon breathes before the shape of his smile is felt against Wille's lips, his hands dropping to Simon's waist to gain footing, ultimately bringing their bodies together in delicious friction. His knees go weak at the moan Simon lets out, going straight to the deep pit of his stomach, a fire slowly starting to ignite. His hands slide up Simon's back and into his curls, the hair soft as it passes through his fingers, Simon's neck craning back as the kiss deepens.
He uses all his strength to pull back from the boy's eager lips, hand still on his waist as he steps just past Simon to turn the lock on his door, ensuring that they receive no unexpected interruptions. As he turns back to the boy, Simon giggles before they're coming together once again, their smiles melting into one as they fall into another desperate kiss.
Simon walks them backward, disposing of Wille's shirt on the way to his bed, shoving at his now bare chest to push him onto the mattress, immediately crawling onto his lap seconds later. Simon nips and sucks on his skin as if Wilhelm is the very air he needs, his touch is piercing and intentional, the taller boy falling over the edge in quick succession. Simon's name leaves his lips like a prayer as he clings onto the other, desperate to keep them as close as humanly possible for as long as he's able.
As soon as he's recovered, he's flipping them over so Simon lays under him, taking his time as he slowly and purposefully tears Simon apart, his heart clenching as he watches the boy's brown eyes flutter closed, lips parting as he gasps Wille's name, body going tense right before it turns boneless. He kisses the soft skin of Simon's cheek as he helps him through the last bits of his pleasure, hoping that the other can't see just how much of his heart is put into the small action, how much of Wille's heart he carries already.
Afterward, he walks to his sink to wet a towel so he can clean Simon up, the boy pliant as he lets Wilhelm take care of him, a kiss pressed to freckled knuckles after he finishes wiping away the last remnants of their time from tan skin. He gets dressed first, Simon following in his footsteps with languid movements, leaving shortly after Wille.
When he walks into class just after the teacher, he mumbles an excuse about how he wasn't feeling well and must have fallen asleep, Simon tumbles through the doorway minutes later with wild hair and flushed cheeks, some story about sitting outside in the harsh winter weathers leaving his lips. As he tries to fight back his smile, he knows that he's giving too much of his heart away, that agreeing to remain casual was a promise he's not sure he can maintain, not when he wants everything with Simon.
-
His lips are on heated skin as he makes his way down Simon's chest, the boy's hands clinging to his hair as he gasps under his touch, fueling Wille on further as he presses another open-mouthed kiss along Simon's tan skin. Simon is desperate and whining from underneath him, breaths coming out in stuttered pants as his composure starts to slip away. "Please, Wille."
He freezes, pulling back to look up at Simon with wide eyes, his breathing rapid as he struggles to figure out if he had heard the boy correctly or if his mind was playing tricks on him. Simon has never called him Wille , it's always been Wilhelm or some teasing form of ' Your Majesty ', never Wille. As he looks into Simon's deep brown eyes, wide as they stare back at him, he knows that he didn't mishear him.
"Did you just call me Wille?"
"No," Simon rushes out, Wilhelm moving closer as his palms slide to the small of Simon's back, the other's own hands coming up to cradle the back of Wille's head. He raises his eyebrow at the boy in his arms, fighting back the smirk pulling at his lips at the caught-out expression on Simon's face, the both of them aware that his first answer was nothing but a lie.
"You did," He breathes, a small smile breaking out on his face as his heart skips a beat at the realization that Simon had called him Wille sinks in. He watches as dark lashes fall closed, a sight he's growing familiar with seeing on Simon's face. "Looks like someone doesn't actually hate me all that much."
Simon bites his lip and shoves at Wille's chest, not hard enough to be hurtful, the action is simply playful as he lightly shakes his head, cheeks beautifully flushed. "Just because I called you Wille doesn't mean I don't hate you."
He hums with another teasing raise of his eyebrow, a hand moving up to cradle the back of Simon's neck and pull him into another searing kiss. They get lost in each other once again, Wille hoping to convey every emotion that fills his chest in the slide of their lips on each other, in the gentle caresses on heated skin, in the words whispered so softly you barely hear them.
They tip over the edge together and he feels complete, laying on his side with closed eyes as he basks in the joy filling his chest, not wanting the moment to end just yet, wanting to sink into the feeling a bit longer. He hears as Simon turns on his side, the sheets wrinkling under his movement, his body heat creeping closer to Wille and warming him from the inside out. His body stills when he feels a hesitant finger curl his hair behind his ear, his eyes opening to find a torn look pulling at Simon's features.
"I should probably go," Simon starts, Wille pointedly ignoring the painful pull in his gut at the words, heart sinking as Simon untangles their fingers from above them and slowly separates their bodies. He watches with his cheek cradled in his palm as Simon sits on the edge of his bed and picks up his discarded boxers from the floor. Wilhelm's carefully constructed defenses nearly crumble when Simon looks back at him with an unreadable expression, fingers twitching to reach out and beg Simon to stay. He refrains, but just barely.
Simon toddles around his room and gradually starts to get dressed, Wilhelm, helpless as he watches from his place under the covers, wishing there was some way he could get Simon to stay without revealing too much of his heart. Suddenly, Simon is bent down at the side of his bed, Wille's body instinctively rolling closer, fingers tangling for a brief moment. "Until next time," Simon teases with a smirk, the action feels forced and he doesn't know what to make of it but then Simon's lips are on his right before he's pulling away again, shouldering his backpack and leaving out the window without another word.
He sits still in his bed for several minutes after, a sharp stabbing pain in the center of his chest as he feels the weight of the empty space in his room, a Simon-shaped hole within the fabric of who he is. It's nearly an hour later when he falls out of bed and cleans himself up, tidying the space as well, trying to clear away any reminders of his time with Simon, not sure how much more his heart can take at the moment. It's as he's lifting his shirt off the ground that he hears the faint thump of a small key hit the ground, looking down to see Simon's locker key on the ground, his unmistakable keychain shaped like a middle finger attached to it. He smiles as he picks it up and pulls out his phone, opening his message thread with Simon.
you left your locker key here
He shuts his phone after the message goes through, placing the key and its keychain on his nightstand, the sounds of his housemates' chatter traveling down the hall and to his room. With a glance at the time, he realizes it's nearing dinner, so he hauls himself up from his bed and makes his way down the hall to where the commons room is. He watches with vague interest as Walter and Henry bicker over a game on their phones until dinner is announced. Pulling out his phone, he sees that Simon has yet to respond to his text, which shouldn't be out of character, but it is.
did you get home okay? you usually answer right away
He's just sitting down with his plate full of food when he feels the buzz of his phone in his pocket, he discreetly pulls it out and unfolds it under the table, glancing up just to make sure he hasn't caught anyone's attention.
I'm fine, my phone was just turned off
should I stop by before school to get it from you?
He feels the starting of embarrassment start to build in his chest as he thinks about how clingy he had sounded with his second text, typing up a flirty response to drift away from the embarrassment he feels creeping up.
that sounds like it would be a bit too tempting
it would be pointless for you to show up early if we still end up late to class
I'll find a way to slip it to you discreetly
oh great
He just barely stops himself from laughing out loud at the response, glancing up to peer at the faces of those around him, pleased to see that everyone is too involved in their own conversations to take notice of the flush in his cheeks and the smile on his lips.
hey!
i can be discreet
says the boy who tripped as he tried to sneak up on me in the library
what about when i slipped you the note with my number???
that was discreet
could be a one-time thing
fuck you
twice in one day?
i hate you.
the feeling's mutual 😘
menace.
i know
goodnight Wille
night, simon
He stuffs his phone away and tries to tamper down his smile as he takes tentative bites of his dinner, unfocused as the only thing drifting through his mind is soft curls and coy grins, hands on his skin that set him on fire. When he goes to bed that night, Simon is the only thing filling his dreams, waking up with the memory of his smile felt against his lips.
-
Wilhelm nearly drops his phone when he gets the text from Simon, Felice giving him an odd look as a choked noise passes through his lips, eyes looking up to connect to Simon's, who's smirking at him like he knows exactly what he's doing.
back of the library, autobiography section
need to kiss your stupid lips
He peers beside him at Felice, shutting his phone and pocketing it with a flush high on his cheeks. "I need to go look for a book," He mumbles, hurriedly getting up from his table, leaving behind his books as he goes to where Simon has told him to. When he gets there, he looks around for a familiar head of curls and a sharp smile, his feet crossing at the ankles as he bends at the waist, pretending to read over the titles of the books on the shelf while he waits.
Suddenly, hands are on his shoulders to bring him up, a breathless laugh leaving his lips as he reaches out to steady himself with his grip on Simon's waist. Simon is needy and eager as he pulls Wilhelm's mouth down to his in hurried movements, Wilhelm whining at the sensation, Simon pulling on the strands of his hair just to draw out the sound once more.
His lips part with a sharp gasp as Simon's hand travels down his body, warm palms slipping under his shirt and up the plains of his back. With the part of his lips, the kiss deepens and his knees buckle, Simon's tongue gliding against his in a delicious thrill down his back. There's the distant sound of footsteps growing closer and they're jumping apart, both of them wiping their mouths with the back of their hands as they look each other up and down with heated gazes, the two of them thoroughly debauched.
The entire scene causes Simon to break out into beautiful laughter, the sound melodic as he throws his head back, the feeling he gets is like honey seeping into his bones. He can't help but huff out a chuckle as well, Simon's amusement infectious. "My room?" He asks, desperate to continue with what they already started. Simon nods, stepping past him with a squeeze of his hand, letting go as he continues his path away from him.
He stays in the aisle as he watches Simon's retreating figure, trying to wipe the smile off his lips before he returns to his study table, sure that anyone could take one look at him and guess what had just transpired. He eventually settles himself enough to make the journey back to the table he shared with Felice and Madison, grabbing his books off the surface as Felice looks up at him with a confused expression.
"I don't feel very well," He mumbles, stumbling over an apology as he grabs out his phone, realizing that Simon's gonna get to his dorm before him and he's not gonna be there to open his window. He pulls up their messages as he walks off, his movements slow as he types out a new text.
you'll get there before me
you could just go in
He pockets his phone and speed walks his way down to the dormitories, books tucked under his arm as he makes his way through the cold, his cheeks flushed from more than just the temperature, anticipation building low in his belly. When he walks through the entryway of the manor, the halls are empty as he makes his way down the long stretch of carpet and to his door, turning the handle and stepping in. He drops his books to the ground as he faces the door and clicks the lock into place, toeing his shoes off as he does so. "Sorry, that took so long."
He turns and catches Simon's flushed cheeks and wild hair, the memory of the way his fingers felt within the soft curls bringing a new spark to the fire already ignited within him. He reaches out to grab Simon's waist as soon as he's in reaching distance, warm palms pressing into his chest. Wille ducks his chin and sucks Simon's lower lip between his own, familiar hands pushing lightly at his chest, a hand reaching up to cradle his cheek.
He can feel the way Simon pulls back slightly, the sudden distance that's put between them both physically and mentally. He draws back fully, eyebrows pulling together to look down into Simon's deep brown eyes, searching for where he went wrong. "You okay?" Simon says nothing, his eyes bouncing between Wille's own with an emotion he can't place.
He's suddenly pulled back down into another kiss, this one more desperate than the previous, Simon's fingers tightening in his hair before they drift lower until they're fidgeting with the edge of his shirt. His knees hit the edge of his bed, the mattress sinking under his weight as he drops down to a seat, head tilted back to look at Simon. Simon's hands move to the edge of his own shirt, tearing off the rumpled fabric at the same time that Wille does the same with his, leaving them both bare-chested as they stare back at each other.
Simon's hand falls to his chest, the skin heated under the other's touch, chest rising and falling with each of his breaths. Simon's touch moves from his chest up to his neck until he reaches his cheek, his thumb grazing over the flush on the skin, Wille's lashes falling closed involuntarily. Simon's fingers move to push back his hair, head lolling back to look up at Simon with half-lidded eyes, a knee nudging at his in a silent communication he reads well.
He scoots back at the same time one of Simon's knees dips into the mattress, seconds before he swings the other leg over and drops down into his lap, the boy's weight familiar and welcome, his palms grasping Simon's waist to keep him steady. Simon leans down and finally connects their lips once again, back arching in a way that brings their bodies flush together. As quick as the kiss started, it's ending, Wille whining as Simon pulls away, the sound soon turning into a moan.
Simon kisses right above his collarbone, before moving his lips lower, never staying in one place for long. Simon travels down his chest until he's scooting back in Wille's lap, his breath hot against Wille's already heated skin as he kisses just under Wilhelm's ribs, causing him to sigh out Simon's name unconsciously. It only spurs the boy to latch on, sucking harshly until a bruise no doubt starts to form.
"Fuck," Wille breathes, Simon's smile is felt against his skin for just a moment before he's breaking off and moving to the other side, tongue reaching out to taste. His head is falling back in pleasure when they're interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing, his brother's personal ringtone sounding out. He curses as he adjusts Simon on his lap so he can reach for the device, holding the boy's weight with a palm on his lower back, the last thing he wants is to drop him.
Simon's breathless laughter tumbles from his lips as he peeks over his shoulder to see the caller ID, a picture of Wille and his brother filling the screen. He dismisses the call in favor of continuing to kiss Simon. "I'll call back later."
Their smiles are just melting together once again when his phone starts to ring, Wille sighing as he knows his brother won't stop until he answers. He reluctantly guides Simon off his lap as he reaches for the device, angling his body so Simon isn't in view as he answers the Facetime call with a tired sigh. "What could you possibly want, Erik?"
His brother's laughter is the first thing he hears, Wille catching sight of himself in the upper right corner, hand running through his hair in a vain attempt to tame it. His brother's smile is smug as he leans back in his chair, eyes filled with mirth. "Nice to see you too, lillebror . I wanted to check in with you, it's been a while since we've talked. How are you?"
He feels his cheeks warm with a flush, gaze moving up to meet Simon's for a brief second, clearing his throat as it suddenly dries out, eyes turning back to his grinning older brother. "Good," The corner of his mouth ticks up as he thinks of Simon.
"I'm glad," Erik replies, features softening in a way that makes Wilhelm feel all too vulnerable. Unconsciously, his hand reaches up to start rubbing at his naked sternum, a nervous habit he's never been able to drop. Erik's eyebrows draw together, face coming closer to the screen, confusing Wilhelm. "What's that?"
Wille looks around as he tries to figure out what his brother is inquiring about. "What?"
"On your neck," Erik replies around a smirk, Wille's gaze flying to the upper right corner of the screen, where he finds himself with a slowly fading hickey on his neck, hand flying up to cover it on instinct. "Is that a hickey?"
His cheeks are on fire as he chokes out a ' No.' Simon fails to cover up his laughter from across him, Wille's foot moving to dig into his thigh in retaliation, hoping that his phone's speaker didn't pick up the sound as his brother laughs from the other side of the screen.
"Bullshit," Erik quips, Wille's cheek dropping to his shoulder as he groans in his usual reaction to Erik's teasing. This seems to only spur his brother on as his grin grows, adjusting in his seat as he holds the screen closer to himself. "I know a hickey when I see one. Who gave it to you?"
"No one," He says in confirmation, eyes unwillingly flickering up to Simon, softening as he sees the bright smile on the boy's lips, his eyes filled with a familiar mirth.
"So it is a hickey?" Erik teases with a suggestive raise of his brow, only causing Wille to throw his head back with another groan, shifting his position while still keeping Simon close to him. "Do I know them?"
"Erik," He whines, the last thing he wants is for this conversation to happen while Simon is right across from him, the boy having the nerve to mimic him with a breathy giggle, a warm touch caressing his calf and softening his insides.
"Are they with you?" Erik asks, Wille closes his eyes to take a deep breath in as he clocks onto Erik's jaw dropping in shock. "Oh God, did I interrupt something?"
Wille's cheeks get impossibly hotter, Simon doubling over in giggles across from him, Wille reaching forward to pinch at the soft skin of his stomach in warning, this entire moment far too embarrassing for him. "If I say yes, will you let me hang up?"
"Yes, but just know I'm coming back to this later."
"I know," He sighs, fingers moving to tangle with the ones Simon is currently resting on his leg, the point of contact steadying him as he faces his brother again. "Bye, talk later."
"Don't forget to use protec-" He exits the call before Erik can finish that sentence, turning back to Simon with flushed cheeks.
"Sorry about that," He mumbles, tugging on their joined hands to bring Simon closer, knowing the moment is thoroughly broken but not willing for it to end just yet. Simon follows the pull, settling himself between Wille's legs, chin perched on the back of the palm splayed out on Wille's chest. They share a look that says more than they can decipher, words in a language he doesn't yet understand.
With the moment broken, Simon is pushing up off him from where his hand lays on Wille's chest, scooting off the bed and padding his way around Wille's dorm in search of his shirt. As dark curls reemerge with an adorable shake of Simon's head, he notices the way his skin breaks out into goosebumps due to the cold temperature of the room. "It's cold, do you have a jacket?"
He sits up in bed as he watches Simon search the floor, the both of them knowing that he's not gonna find his jacket laying around, he wasn't wearing one in the library. "No," Simon finally answers, his jaw clenched shut as he avoids Wille's eyes. "I left it in my locker, I'll be fine."
He pushes past the lump in his throat and the unease building in his gut and wraps his fingers around Simon's wrist to keep him in place. "Here," He says, dropping Simon's wrist only so he can grab his orange pullover from off the floor near his bed, offering the garment to Simon. "You can borrow it."
"I can't."
"I'm not gonna let you freeze Simon," He insists, choking out a laugh in an attempt to hide how deeply he cares. " Please. "
Simon sighs as he grabs it, Wille barely holding back the smile from his lips as the boy pulls it on, the clothing item slightly too large on his smaller frame. The sleeves hang past his hands and the overall fit is oversized in a way that tugs painfully at Wille's chest, the imagery of Simon in his clothes is something he didn't know he needed, something that could somehow be comforting and painful all at once. "Thanks," Simon mumbles before he hurriedly slips on his shoes and grabs his bag, pulling open the door without another word, Wille uselessly calls out a goodbye just before the door closes on him.
As soon as he's gone, Wille feels alone. His teeth sink into the skin around his thumb while his other arm curls around his stomach, his chest tight as he tries to take in a deep breath. He aimlessly twists around to grab his phone, already being greeted with messages from his bother prying for details.
I have so many questions
Call me as soon as you're done with your date
Hopefully, I didn't kill the mood
He taps on the FaceTime icon and waits for the man to pick up, seconds later, his brother's familiar smirk greets him through the screen. "You did kill the mood," He deadpans, his brother feigning a guilty expression as he leans back in his chair and gets comfortable.
"Sorry, lillebror," Erik starts, his lips twitching with the urge to smile. "If I knew you had company I would have called later."
"Well, there was a reason behind me declining your first call," He quips, settling back against his pillows, willing the heaviness on his chest to lessen. "Okay, go ahead. I know you're not gonna let this go."
"No way," His brother agrees, sitting up in his seat, showing Wille that he has his full attention now. "So, tell me about them."
He instantly takes notice of the use of ' them' rather than a gendered pronoun, reminding him of the hunch he's always carried that maybe his brother has always known that he's not fully straight. He falters as he decides how much he wants to reveal, worried about what kind of reaction he will receive, despite knowing how much he trusts his brother. He watches as his brother's face softens, heart open as he tries to show Wilhelm that he can trust him.
"Simon," He starts, clearing his throat to try to will his voice to not break. "His name is Simon."
His brother's lips pull up into a smile, chin ducking in a nod as he urges Wille to continue. "He's part of the choir," He supplies, the coil in his chest starting to loosen as his brother listens intently to him. "I, I don't know what we are. It's all just starting and well you know… it's complicated."
His brother nods in understanding, sighing as he leans back and tries to come up with a response that will soothe his nervous wreck of a brother. "Do you like him?"
"Yeah," He answers, the word not feeling like enough of an answer for how much he likes Simon, how much of his brain and heart the boy occupies. "I do."
"Maybe it doesn't have to be so complicated then," His brother starts, Wille leveling him with a disbelieving look, remembering all of the complications in Erik's own relationships. "For starters, you're not the Crown Prince." His brother carries on. "It wouldn't be such a big thing for you to take a partner."
"Right," He laughs bitterly, knowing his brother is just trying to comfort him but not sure he can handle false hope right now. "I'm sure Mother will be thrilled when she finds out that the person I'm seeing is a boy. She would never allow it."
"I can handle her," Erik counters, his voice serious as he stares intently at his younger brother. "If you feel strongly for this boy you should be able to be with him, without it being a secret. You can be discreet if you want, you don't have to announce it to the media, you can just tell the people you trust and let the others assume what they do. You deserve to be with someone you care about Wille, I can handle Mother."
"It's more complicated than that," He sighs, swallowing around the lump in his throat as he pushes away his hair, blinking rapidly as he feels his eyes start to water. "I'm not sure Simon would even want that. To him, we're just… hooking up."
"Are you sure about that?" Erik asks, Wille desperately pushing away the bud of hope he carries in his chest, knowing if he waters it, it has the potential to destroy him. He can't let his brother's words get to him, shaking his head as he avoids the older one's eyes.
"I'm sure," He croaks, hand curling around his stomach as he grows nauseous. "So please don't give me false hope, I know what this is to him… Even if it means different to me."
"Okay," His brother nods, relief flooding his system when he realizes he doesn't have to fight off his brother's false words of encouragement that push away at his own defenses. "If it ever does progress, with him or someone else, just remember that. I'll handle Mother, whatever it may be, you find someone who makes you happy and I'll deal with the rest, okay?"
"Okay," He swallows, his voice scratchy as he blinks away the moisture gathering on his water line. He searches for something to change the subject, knowing he can't talk more about Simon and their situation if he doesn't want to break. "When are you back from your state visit?"
His question has the intended effect, his brother knows him well enough to know when he's reached his limit, allowing the younger one to effectively diverge the subject away from him and his growing feelings for the boy with a voice of an angel. After the call, Wille sits alone in his bed, his arms cradling his body as his mind is flooded with images of a boy who makes his heart flutter, wishing that the arms wrapped around him were not his own. If he closes his eyes, he can almost believe that it's Simon who's holding him.