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"A guy who became rich can't complain about his feelings".
As if Yoongi heard it for the first time in his life.
He locked and pushed his phone away, pressing his palms to his closed eyes. It was laughable, for how fast the wind can change. If he could remember correctly, just a fortnight ago half of those media was praising his charity work that he didn't even announce himself and that was supposed to stay anonymous. Just a month ago they were all boasting how their "Hidden Gem of Korea" took the top of the bb chart. So basically they need something to open their mouths about and it wouldn't matter whether it's negative or positive? Fucking leeches.
Yoongi wasn't that worried about negative criticism itself. As his manager explained to him a long time ago: it was a routine for people in the industry. Just like how many people go and buy some soap or a bar of chocolate. And just how he added reassuringly last night: it wouldn't matter if Agust D sat on his butt and did absolutely nothing - there would still be something like that earlier or later. So, not a big deal.
But it's what came with it, with the negative press, that bothered him, made his every day harder: the anxiety, the fear, the paranoia. Yoongi felt like every single person around him was on his tail, waiting for yet another misstep, discussing how awful of a person he is. And maybe he was. He shouldn't have drank outside his home. Doesn't matter why he did it, he did it. It's a done deed. Why was there a need to chew it all over again in the nedia? Why was there a need to dig up something from his past to "prove" how malicious he was from the start. Malicious doing what? Being good at his craft? Being depressed? Wearing black? Please!
At least the legal team watched with their hawk eyes so that the story won't coat itself in many more details, imaginary ones. He was already on a small break and was simply enjoying life as much as he could with his personal projects still going. Yoongi didn't need that on top of everything he already had to deal with.
The doorbell rang but he couldn't be bothered. This thing was affecting him more than it should. It felt like the whole world was against him even if it wasn't true. Try to explain it to the anxiety ridden brain, see how much fun that is.
Someone rang more insistently in a series of short and long signals. Yoongi knew that sequence. But he wasn't sure his mind wasn't playing games. Because the only person he knew who did that to his doorbell was supposed to be miles and countries away at the moment.
Yoongi opened the door and there he was, standing there with his brand travel bag and in his crop puffy coat that Yoongi claimed a paradox in itself. The person was stretching his lips wide around his usual dazzling smile and his silly beanie barely sat on his head.
- Hyung! - he exclaimed, opening his arms wide and burrowing into Yoongi's chest.
- Jimin-ah...
The rapper only reciprocated the hug without saying anything else and buried his face into the wavy golden locks that smelled of familiar hair products. It's not been that long but to some part of his mind it seemed like an eternity since he last held Jimin in his arms. Seconds passed but it was so hard to part with that body, warm despite of droplets of the rain clinging onto the outwear.
- What are you doing here?
- What do you think I'm doing? - he replied mischievously, - I am your new tenant for the next several days!
Yoongi only opened his mouth at the younger's enthusiasm. Yeah, the big bag was kind of a giveaway, maybe. But also Jimin already had plenty of his stuff on Yoongi's territory. In fact, he had that much, so it couldn't be called a bachelor's den anymore, with traces of the younger everywhere.
- A tenant? Not even a guest? - he closed the door behind Jimin, - Since when do you not want to live in your botanical garden?
Jimin's smile was instantly replaced with a pout. Uh-oh, he didn't mean to be the one who started their bickering spree this time.
- It's not a botanical garden! I just have a couple of more plants than in interior catalogues and you already prepared to call it a jungle! I know you, you secretly like it in there!
Now that would be something Yoongi would never admit. Sue him, it was soothing to write lyrics among all that greenery.
- So how is that fairy garden going to live without you while you're invading my apartment?
- I have a person who looks after it. They've been paid in advance. My plants can wait, I have a whole flower right here!
He cupped Yoongi's cheeks out of the blue and the fiery rapper ducked his head, trying to hide his embarrassment. Jimin was a whirlwind and brought him emotional explosions that he wasn't prone to before they met.
- So what are you going to do? Work on a song? Or just stay here?
- Yes, just stay. I have to see how everything is going since I have visited you last time.
- It's only been two weeks.
- Two weeks too long! - he argued and Yoongi let that go.
After all the younger was always welcome here. Any time of the day and night. Jimin looked all over Yoongi's face as if studying him all over again. He had that stubborn set of his jaw on him that the rapper knew all too well.
- You don't have to baby me, - Yoongi murmured.
He knew what Jimin was doing here. Of course he's heard everything about it. Saw "his scandalous behavior". It couldn't have been a coincidence that he was here without any notice or even a text that he was back in the country. After the first couple of fashion shows he really wanted to engage in those events that go afterwards and visit exhibitions, meet new people. He's been talking about it for months since the got the ambassador deal with dare Yoongi say, one of his favourite brands.
- You don't understand, hyung. I did what was required of me, made appearances. Now my priority lies somewhere else and it is right here.
He pointed with his finger on the fluffy carpet that was under their feet. Yoongi absent-mindedly followed the direction of the digit and Jimin laughed.
- I can't with you! - he said, throwing his things in the guest room.
Yoongi smiled while he was gone. For the first time since this situation happened he didn't feel like the weight on his heart was that heavy.
- So! - he clapped his hands and rubbed them together, - What's good?
He said it in English with his cute accent. He walked to the kitchen and the rapper followed, trying to remember if he had any food in there. Jimin was bent over with a hand on the open fridge door, trying to figure out what was on the lower shelf. Yoongi crossed his arms and leaned on the counter, watching the younger's actions.
- You're not going to ask what happened?
Jimin straightened up and closed the fridge door. There was nothing good there anyway. His facial expression was far from carefree now, he was looking serious and Yoongi knew that whatever Jimin was going to say he would mean it with all his heart.
- Tell me when you're ready. Right now knowing the reason isn't my priority.
They got busy with cooking a simple meal. At first Yoongi was reluctant but throughout the process he understood why Jimin insisted on it, denying all take out from his favorite restaurants. The simple motions and repetitive steps brought familiar comfort. There was some mellow music playing from one of their playlists and the clacking of utensils and the rhythmic chopping of the knifes only added to that ambience. Yoongi regained control of his hands that he found trembling several times since he woke up this morning and soon after the dishes were plated and they have gone half through their portions, talking about whatever Jimin tried abroad, Yoongi felt relaxed enough to rant a little.
- They think that just because I have fame and money I am immune to all the shit they say. That just because I'm not struggling and live comfortably, I have to take whatever they give me with an apologetic smile.
- You've apologized already though, - Jimin pointed out.
- That's the whole point. I think they were waiting for me to flip even more so they can suck more stories out of the situation.
- Leeches, - Jimin repeated his earlier thought, - They are simply hoping for your negative reaction. But you aren't going to give him that, right hyung?
- No way in hell.
- And what about your fans? - Jimin asked worriedly.
Yoongi chuckled.
- They keep exchanging their own stories of similar kinds and even arrests. I think it showed them once more that I'm human too.
They sat in comfortable silence. There was understanding between them, not as just friends that shared special connection and were often found in each other's beds, but as an artist and an artist that faced many obstacles on their way to the top. They shared the same goal: for their music to be heard and loved by people and Yoongi understood that there probably wasn't anyone else that he knew except for Jimin who could fully get him.
Instead of copious consoling words that meant absolutely nothing, he showed him actions. He didn't try to change how he felt right now, he sort of eased him back into normalcy, comforting him just enough so he himself felt like he was back into his own skin. He was giving him a sense of normalcy that Yoongi has been robbed of.
It turned out Jimin already had a program that Yoongi was supposed to be following. It included a pampering session and watching trashy films, mercilessly criticizing the characters and the screenplay. When they got bored of that, Jimin showed the games he brought with him so they got their places in front of the PlayStation.
- Just because you're having a hard time, I'm not going to let you win! - Jimin said pompously.
- You'll be begging for second chances like you always do, boy! - Yoongi answered in his usual impersonation of an old person that made Jimin laugh so hard that he fell on the floor.
It was late evening when they hot into the shower together. Jimin wasn't trying to start anything, rather he was determined to spoil Yoongi with his attention, not letting him lift a single finger. Yoongi laughed at Jimin's serious expression and really felt better under the skillful fingers that prodded into his tense muscles.
- Jimin-ah?
- Hmm?
- There's something I'm curious about.
- Go on, hyung, - he urged washing the soapy suds away.
- Why are you ditching everything? It's not the first time it happened. You've talked so much about that opportunity. You should think about yourself first, - he rambled.
- Hyung, but that is the thing. That is exactly what I am ditching everything for. Just for myself really. Didn't you get it yet?
Jimin was looking at him so intensely and with such sincerety, it was hard to bear, paired up with the underlying meaning of his words. Yoongi snatched a towel off the hanger and patted around his eyes. This time there was no frown on his face. He was smiling. And Jimin was mirroring him.
- Guess what? I'm the bigger spoon tonight, - Jimin said when they both got into bed, freshly out of shower and lathered in all the lotions and creams Jimin had in his bag.
Of course he came prepared, bringing more than Yoongi could even imagine, he thought fondly.
- If you so wish, - Yoongi responded with a content sigh, feeling the warm body enveloping him from behind.