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Solitary was bad - worse than Steve had imagined it would be when he had thoughts of Danny riled up to fill his imagination. Seeing Danny was supposed to calm him down and it had, but his OCD was so much worse. He could see the filth in the confined room and he wanted to scratch himself clean. He wanted to take a toothbrush to every inch of the four by four cell.
Each day felt worse than the last. Each night brought on nightmares that he would have rather buried than think about ever again. He didn’t find solace, he couldn’t. The former SEAL didn’t even eat because the tray was clean and food was touching. Nothing was neat and orderly.
“I’m not crazy,” he told himself, pacing back and forth with his eyes shut so tight that he saw bright dots of light behind his eyelids. There was too much filth, so much filth. The guard who continuously made the rounds was taunting him with the messy tray. He wanted to break it apart neatly and then shove each peace down his throat and watch him choke to death on the plastic.
“I’m not crazy, I’m not crazy,” he chanted, his body slow and sluggish from lack of sleep and nutrients. He didn’t even work out. The last thing he wanted was for his hands to touch the floor. No, he kept his hands tucked under the arms of his orange jumpsuit and his prison shoes tight around his feet. He never removed his clothes. There was no point when he was even denied access to the showers.
The worst part of it all was when he had to use the bathroom. The bowl needed to be burned with a toxic combination of lye, bleach, and Dawn. If he was the one cleaning then he’d ask for enough C4 to blast China sky high just for good measure.
Each day felt like a whole period of Hell Week. It was unbearable, but when his week was up, Steve couldn’t escape the hell hole fast enough. He held his breath as he was cuffed and taken from the room, his eyes examining the guard’s hands before looking at his face with appreciation for the gloves he wore, the clean, sterile gloves. He only knew of one guard that was considerate enough to wear them.
“How about we get you a shower?” Chin said in his calm, neutral voice. Other than Danny, Chin seemed to be the only one who understood that he needed things to be clean. He needed everything neat and he definitely needed a shower.
With a stiff nod, Steve felt himself guided away from solitary and towards the general population. There were corners turned and inmates talking, but the dark haired convict kept his attention on Chin’s gloves. He rooted himself to the sterile gloves and he slowly began to breathe again.
“Take a shower and then you’ll get dressed in a clean uniform,” The guard told him as he undid the metal chains and took a step back for the other to undress and grab the freshly clean towel.
“Thanks, Chin,” Steve said in a low voice, not waisting a minute as he all but ripped away the filthy clothing and stepped into the shower stall. After turning on the water, he turned so that his side faced Chin instead of his back. There were too many times when other inmates and even a few guards had tried to get the best of him while he was showering. They never got far, but he ended up getting chewed out by Danny and then thrown into solitary for a few days shortly after.
“Don’t thank me,” Chin said, his voice still neutral and oddly comforting, “your lawyer called me on my cell and asked me to help you. I guess he figured that you were going to have a hard time in solitary.”
He stopped scratching the soap into his skin and looked over at the guard with a surprised look on his face. He didn’t usually have a lot of displays of emotion unless they involved Danny.
“He called you?”
“Yeah.”
“And asked you to help me?”
“That’s what I said.”
Steve was silent for a moment, the surprise leaving his face as he examined the other’s. After another moment, he turned back to his task of scratching away the week of filth and tried to pay very little attention to the hunger in his stomach. He was used to not eating for long periods of time, but that didn’t mean that it wouldn’t take a toll on him.
He finished showering just at the three minute mark and stepped out the shower before drying himself off with the clean towel. His body was covered in red streaks from running his blunt nails across section of skin repeatedly, but he felt clean and that was one of the best feelings he could experience. He preferred the cleanliness over the hunger to the point that when his stomach growled loudly in the otherwise empty shower room, he ignored it as if it was just wind passing through an open window.
“You’re stomach is growling like a wild boar, brah,” Chin commented with a slight frown.
“Didn’t eat,” he mumbled, causing Chin to frown, “the guard had the food touching. I couldn’t deal with it.”
“That must have been Wo Fat,” the guard sighed, “he’s not exactly the friendliest guy you could meet.”
The rest of the time in the shower room was spent in silence as Steve wondered if Danny knew about the Wo Fat character. It would explain why the lawyer had called and asked for such a favor from Chin. As he contemplated whether or not the blonde was looking out for him more than any average lawyer, Steve completely ignored the fact that they had gone pass the cafeteria and straight toward the mostly empty visiting room.
His head snapped up as the familiar smell of pineapples and ham invaded his senses. Steve first gave a confused look, unaware of when he had gotten there much less when he got dressed and was chained back up.
“Danny?” He questioned, wondering if he had taken a fall at some point and was dreaming.
“What? Didn’t expect to see me after you asked for your abomination of a pizza?” The lawyer asked, spreading his arms wide at the box of pizza that sat in the middle of the table.
“You actually got me pizza? How?”
Crossing his arms in front of his chest, Danny watched as Chin removed the shackles from Steve. Being in prison seemed to make former SEALs stupid.
“Chin, please tell me that he doesn’t have brain damage. No, scratch that. Please tell me he doesn’t have anymore brain damage,” Danny said to the guard who simply chuckled silently as Steve slowly moved to the seat across from the blonde.
“He’s good as far as I know, Danny.”
The lawyer eyed Chin for a moment before giving a nod and looking at Steve who was opening the box of pizza that sat in front of him. He all but hovered over his cousin Saul to make sure it was what Steve would have deemed as edible. Even his severe OCD couldn’t get in the way of him eating the damn thing.
“How did you manage to make it so…”
“Neat?” Danny supplied with a small smile, “I know people.”
Grabbing a perfect eight of a slice, Steve took a bite from it and moaned, his eyes doing a little roll that caused the blonde’s mouth to dry a little.
“Thanks Danny,” the criminal said before taking another bite out of the slice.
“Yeah, well I did something for you…Now I need you to listen to me,” Danny said seriously, resting his elbows on the metal table and staring at the slightly taller male.
Swallowing the piece of food in his mouth, Steve frowned. He had a feeling that he wasn’t going to like what he was about to hear.