Chapter Text
‘I’m tired’ Jiang Cheng sat down in a candle lit room trying to blink away the tiredness from his eyes. ‘There is too much to do, how did I do this back then?’ He leaned back into his seat just to look up at the roof trying his best not to fall asleep. ‘When was the last time I took a break?’ His pondering was interrupted by a knock on the doors to his personal chambers and he knew exactly who it was.
“Speak” Jiang Cheng ordered resting his forehead on his palm already knowing that he has to stay up late tonight. “Sect leader Jiang, you have another set of requests from the Jin sect” Jiang Cheng clenched his bang along with the hair around his forehead feeling anger in him rise up again “Why can’t these useless elders not even handle writing a simple letter to their allied clans? Is it so hard to pick out a gift and send in a letter reaffirming their alliance?”
Jiang Cheng was angry and it was clearly visible on his face, his scowl kept on getting harder as he went through the list of things to do but both his mind and body gave out as he leaned back on to his seat “Thank you, you can go now” as soon as he said that he went back to his working mode sorting out the new sheets into urgent, can wait, for a later date. “Sect leader Jiang I know I’m stepping out of the line, but we would be happy to help you with your work”
Usually Jiang Cheng would have snapped saying that he’s capable enough to finish his work but even he knew managing two sect businesses has taken a toll on him “I can’t give the Jin sect work to you, it will break the deal I have with them and I can’t afford to do that. I need A’Ling to have a firm position as the sect leader of the Jin Sect. How did the brat do today? Did he greet the officials properly?”
The head disciple hesitated but spoke out “I was going to inform about that tomorrow but since we are talking about it, I have to tell that Sect Leader Jin for the past month hasn’t been attending our letters nor has been showing up at appointed dates” Jiang Cheng dropped his brush and was going to yell at the head disciple for keeping such information from him, what if his nephew is hurt, Cursed or something even worse had happened to him?
“Wei Wuxian”
“What?”
“He’s been going on night hunts with Wei Wuxian and his husband, the Lan disciples and .. the ghost general” Once upon a time Jiang Cheng would have been mad, he would have snapped letting his emotions take over but now he was too tired “I see, I will see to him” with those words Jiang Cheng went back to work along with his head disciple. Two hours before the sun rose they finished their work, the head disciple packed up the papers leaving Jiang Cheng behind in his room.
‘I’m tired’ Jiang Cheng thought as he slowly fell asleep on his table.
“A-niang! A-niang! A-Die lifted me up today and took me around the whole town! I think he remembered it was my birthday! One .. two .. three .. four FIVE TIMES! A-niang this is the fifth time he held me! A-die does love me!” ‘ What a dream, why am I seeing this now out of all the times?’ “A-niang .. A-die lifted A-xian again..it’s the 10th time now .. does that mean he loves A-xian twice as much?” ‘ Stop, just stop ..’ “ A-die, it’s my birthday..don’t leave me here..”
Jiang Cheng gasped as he held his hand feeling the burns of zidain jolt him out of his sleep “such a disgrace at this age .. at this still age I’m still looking for affection .. so tired” he grabbed a small box from his sleeve bandaging himself knowing that his spiritual powers have drained out because of sleepless nights.
‘Jin Ling..I need to meet him today .. he can’t take this easily” Jiang Cheng stood up, he wasn’t going to let anything weaken him nor was he going to show his weak side to anyone. In these last 13 years he’s never done that and he never will.
A quick knock on the door alerted Jiang Cheng, it was soon followed by the head disciple’s voice “Sect leader Jiang, Sect leader Jin and his company have arrived”
“I will be there” with that Jiang Cheng did his usual routine alone. Even with so many years passing by he didn’t trust anyone to touch him or to let them see these scars on his chest. It’s the biggest shame of his life, how can he show it to someone? With that he made his way to the front of the residence “where is he?” Jiang Cheng asked one of the disciples walking around, he disciple was nervous in answering Jiang Cheng with hesitation he bowed and replied “Sect leader Jiang, there’s a bit of predicament at the gate with Young master Jin and the disciples—“
Without waiting Jiang Cheng turned around letting his robes flutter, walking fast towards the gate with hundreds of questions rushing into his head.
“BECAUSE I SAID SO!” Jin Ling's frustrated anger was heard loud and clear to Jiang Cheng causing the other to move faster until he reached the gate “What is going on here? Is this how we behave at another sect's entrance?”
“JIUJIU!” Jin ling turned around, from years together he had the same look when things didn't go his way, of course whenever that happened Jiang Cheng made sure Jin Ling got what he wanted. “What is it? What made you throw a fuss this time?”
“They are not letting him through!” Jin Ling huffed crossing his hands and glaring at the guards “Sect leader Jiang” both the guards bowed down greeting him and seeing this the Lan disciple along with the Ouyang disciple bowed at Jiang Cheng while the ghost general just stood his ground.
“Jiujiu they are not listening! How can they treat the savior of my life that way? Ask them to let him in!” Jiang Cheng looked at the uncomfortable faces of his guard and turned to look at the sect “what colors do you see here sect leader Jin? Why are disciples of Yunmeng Jiang supposed to respect your savior?”
Jin Ling froze and looked at Jiang Cheng with his mouth wide open “But y-“
“Tell me why anyone would let a wen enter our compound? Have you forgotten who destroyed every corner of our sect? Who killed every child, adult and elder in our clan? DO YOU understand what you are asking for Jin Rulan?” Jin Ling hesitated but spoke up again “But he also saved your life DIDN'T he ?”
Jiang Cheng froze, why does Jin Ling think that? What have they told him? Who told him about anything related to him and the Wen siblings “Jin Rul-“ “Wei Wuxian told me! On how they saved your lives when you got caught by the Wen clan!”
‘I’m tired, why am I supposed to remember this right now? It wasn’t enough once but should he go through this humiliation the second time?’ “That is enough, my decision won’t change, he is not entering this premise! Send him away and bring in your friends! Years can pass by and he still won’t be allowed in here, as long as he is a Wen bastard” Sizhui definitely flinched at these words and looked down but was comforted by a squeeze from Jingyi who stood next to him.
Jiang Cheng wondered why the ghost general didn’t speak this time but seeing how most of his disciples glared at the ghost general with anger in their eyes, he understood that the fierce corpse knew it was a bad idea to speak. The quick building tension was broken by Lan Jingyi’s voice “Jin Ling, we will go back to gusu. It’s understood that we are not welcome here”
Jiang Cheng couldn’t say anything at all, it was obvious he didn’t deny the Lan kids the entrance to their sect but he can’t turn around and deny the lan kids accusation that will make him look inferior than a mere disciple.
“Jiujiu!” Jin Ling hurriedly spoke “AREN'T I a sect leader? Shouldn’t you respect the people I bring and let them in?”
“Now you are a sect leader? What about when you are skipping duties and leaving it all to my disciples? Do you even realize how many sect meetings you have missed while playing around? He is not entering the sect that is final! Get in Jin Ling you have a lot of work to do!”
“Jingyi I’m coming to gusu let’s go right away!”
Jiang Cheng laughed on the inside ‘I’m tired, I’m really tired’
“JIN LING! Do you realize how much work is backed up? Get in there and start learning how to run a sect! I cant spoon you all the time!”
Of course Jin Ling wouldn’t listen and turn his back huffing as he walked towards his friends who just bowed at him getting on their swords “JIN LING!” Jiang Cheng was frustrated
“Aren’t you here to help me? Isn’t this your job? You do it! I’m tired of hearing you always nag!” Jin Ling removed his sword while getting on it he yelled in frustration “I seriously can’t be with you!”
Jiang Cheng was once again humiliated in front of all his disciples but can he reprimand Jin Ling? No. He silently went bank in with his head still raised high in the air.
‘I’m tired’ Jiang Cheng thought as he sat on his bed removing his braids one by one. ‘I am really tired’ Jiang changed thought as he got into the bed. He has to wake up early tomorrow to head to the Jin sect to get a conference up and running.
“Tired I’m so tired, why is this not getting done? I’m doing it again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again” Jiang Cheng woke up and stared at the ceiling “I wonder how I did it then, we had no money, no back up, no sect helping us..how did I do it back then? What bad luck seeing your past in your dream two times in a row”.
Another day when Jiang Cheng did his same old routine and without waiting he, his head disciple and two other senior disciples headed towards Lanling. Jiang Cheng really wished he took a boat or a carriage when he landed in the Jin sect compound. His body felt like giving out but he stood his ground letting the disciples of Jin clan greet him as he went inside to meet up with elders.
‘Three more .. three more elders out of the 40 elders are Meng Yao’s pets’ Jiang Cheng took two years taming down the situation in the Jin Sect, in two years he one by one replaced and removed anyone opposed to Jin Ling or had ill intentions towards him. ‘I told you and I’m telling you once again. Your sect situation isn’t as good as it was before. Instead of showcasing your wealth in amounts where it is not necessary! Showcase that your sect is still strong and can function on its own!”
Jiang Cheng rubbed his head frustrated with the meeting, it’s the same thing over and over again “Why doesn’t sect leader Jiang help us in that situation?”
“What?”
“As you can see your nephews sect isn’t doing well, why don’t you give-“
“Stop” Jiang Cheng Couldn't outrightly say that Jin Ling's sect wasn’t his business as he involved himself into this current predicament. “I need to say this clearly but yunmeng Jiang is not offering financial support to Lanling Jin but is offering support to current leader support as he wasn’t able to build his own in his own clan. I do not want to hear another word about this. When Lanling Jin turns out to be in situation as worse as lotus pier was 13 years, Do not worry we will offer our assistance”
Hopefully the elders will understand the hidden agenda between Jiang Chengs words ‘you didn’t help me 13 years ago when my disciples didn’t even have food to eat? And you want to give my sect's hard earned money so you can show off your wealth?’
Jiang Cheng continued the discussion for 4 hours followed by meetings which never came to an end and 2 hour after the sunset he realized he hadn't eaten yet nor had he had a sip of water. Both of these he finally did at night in his room alone.
‘Tired..’
The day of the conference
He knew another set of rumors started in the Jin sect regarding Jin Ling and his strength to lead the sect, but hopefully seeing Jin Ling walking around with his head held high talking to other sect leaders the rumor will die down.
‘Finally he is here’ Jiang Cheng sighed as he watched Jin Ling but the proud facade on his face crumbled when Jin Ling with a bright smile greeted Wei Wuxian “Daiju!”.
‘Everything is so tiring’ Jiang Cheng felt his shoulders slouch as he looked down with his bright blue eyes slowly flickering to gray, he turned away.
“Pray tell With whose power did you build your sect?” How did this situation arise again? Not once, not twice but this is the third time. How did a simple lecture to his nephew made Wei Wuxian butt in like always, made him snaps like always and hanguang-jun snoops in to rescue him while Wei Wuxian hides like he is the victim in the situation.
‘Tired .. this core I wish it left me alone’
He clenched his fist, his mind stopped thinking what can he even say right now? ‘With my own power?’ That will definitely start a new conversation ‘maybe walking away?’ From a man whose position was below him ‘will anyone help me?’ But I’m all alone. Jiang Cheng sighed, opening his mouth to speak but was interrupted by a person he didn’t expect.
A fan fluttered close as the chief cultivator looked down from the highest position in the cultivation world “Hanguang-Jun, I do not expect you to understand the heavy Weight of duties and responsibilities a sect leader has, it’s deeper and vaster than you can think. No one understands it better than sect leader Jiang who had to build his sect from the ashes. It’s good for you to know your position in the cultivation chain, senior disciple Lan Wangji”
Another bout of whispers started in the room, for the first time someone stood up for him. He felt grateful he truly did and the small smile he sent Nie Huaisang proved that but why did that man freeze and clench his fan in worry? Is it because he was tired?
‘Even after this..why do I still feel tired?’
The sect leaders dispersed for the break between the sect meetings, Jin Ling looked bored out of his mind as he sat there with his back straight, though bored he still concentrated on everyone's words. No one dared to mock him knowing Jiang Cheng's anger towards those who mess with his nephew, but this time Jiang was tired.
Once the conference was up Jin Ling got up and left without even glancing at Jiang Cheng while Jiang Cheng just stared ahead conversing with whoever came and spoke to him. He shouldn’t do this, he had to talk to Jin Ling. How long will this Cold War continue? While dusting his robe he got up excusing himself from the conversation and once again he searched for Jin Ling. He wished he didn't.
“It’s embarrassing, that's what it is! How can he treat me like that in front of everyone? If it wasn’t for daiju I would have literally given a piece of my mind!” Jin Ling huffed as he leaned against the wall talking to Jingyi who came in as a senior disciple. “What young mistress? Getting angry right now? Admit it you love your Jiujiu and love that he scolds you~”
“Love? How can I love him, when he is incapable of even loving himself?”
That was enough, that really did it. Jiang Cheng walked down towards the ancestral hall taking permission from every elder he came across to enter it. He sat down looking at the plate with Jiang Yanli’s name on it, his eyes were hollow. It took a while for the first words to come out.
“A-jie, he’s grown up well, he is turning eighteen years old soon. He is strong, he can hold himself well in a fight, he is a sect leader now, he has his own friends, even Wei Wuxian is here to protect him..is it okay if I come join you now?” Jiang cheng pushed his face into his hands laughing softly “but would you even look at me with a happy face? You will be angry because I turned against Wei Wuxian right? Or angry at the way I raised Jin Ling..I don’t think even A-die would be happy to see me..he will be disappointed that Wei Wuxian left the sect..will A-Niang at least be happy to see me or will she be disappointed as I am this weak willed? But I’m sorry to all three of you .. I’m tired, I really am tired .. please let me rest”