Chapter Text
1. Dazai isn’t allowed an taser unless he is on the field and in presence of a suspect.
2. Do not not provoke each other, that include daring Dazai to do something stupid or provoking Kunikida into choking you.
3. Dazai isn’t allowed to drive or go anywhere near the keys of the cars.
4. Foils, Sliverware and Dazai aren’t allowed in the microwave, Dazai is also not allowed to cook in the kitchen, even if it don’t involved cooking equipment.
5. Driving a children car around the office is prohibited, also running over your coworker is prohibited
6. Yosano’s office is off limited unless given permission or getting treatment, Yosano or Fukuzawa is the only one allowed to give out medicine, Do not take medicine from Dazai, It isn’t medicine, It’s drugs.
7. Posting or filming tiktok during office hours are forbidden. whoever run the agency account must shut it down, I will find you.
8. Do not eat any food that is labelled, if you are hungry, come to the kitchen and ask Kunikida or Fukuzawa to make you something, Do not ask Dazai, no matter how much he said he can cook, if he in the kitchen, call Fukuzawa or Kunikida and leave the area, if neither are available, call one of them and leave the office.
8.5. The kitchen is stocked with food, If you have any requests, Please put it on the whiteboard on the fridge
8.10. Please put real request on the fridge, ‘The soul of the innocents’ and ‘Kunikida’s ass’ are not real requests
9. Usage of the office’s supplies must be keep to work related issues only, Do not use it to photocopy or print your nudes, Storage your toys in file cabinets or anything of that nature
10. You must be treated by Yosano if you got injuries, No if, what or but.
10.5. Yes, That include me.
11. All Agency member must be up to date on vaccination and shot and be given a monthly health examination from Yosano.
12. Open flame are prohibited within the building and dorm.
13. Please stop sleeping with the enemy, I can’t believe i’m writing it, but please stop.
13.5. I take that back, Have fun, be safe.
14. Bets about other people sexual orientation and/or relationship are prohibited, Overall, just don’t bet.
15. When on the clock, You must take at least thirty minute lunch break for every six hours unless the situation call for otherwise.
16. Stop trying to set people up with our enemies.
17. I can’t believe this sentence is leaving my lips, But fucking each other in public spaces, Do you guy need a sex room? i will give you an sex room, if i heard any more sex, i’m going traumatized you.
18. Stop bringing wild animals into the office, and yes, Kenji, Cows do count. Please keep it outside and out of the office
19. Stop trying to kill yourself, We love you and care for you, but for the love of god, Stop trying to kill your self, go to an therapist
20. From now on. Everyone must go to therapy.
Please Note: These rules are subject to be changed or be modified at a moment notice, failure to follow these rules will end with a warning and/or a punishment ( and not the sexual kind. I will put you in time out)