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Liu Qingge knows he is fucked the moment he notices Shen Yuan’s bored apathy turns to absolute delight – the kind he gets when he observes a new beast or a fascinating plant. He follows his line of sight to a familiar face amongst the delegation from the Demon Realm: Luo Binghe.
The man was a disciple of Qing Jing Peak until he went on a night hunt for An Ding and subsequently left the sect under ambiguous circumstances. Liu Qingge has heard the rumors but knows better than to pay them any mind. Shen Yuan had confided in him that he sent the boy at the time away.
He never expected to see him come back as a servant. From a quick scan around the room, the only ones to recognize him is himself and Shen Yuan. Then again, Luo Binghe rarely left Qing Jing Peak when he was in the sect. The only reason Liu Qingge saw him so often was due to his visits to Shen Yuan. The brat was audacious, glaring at him, but then turned sweet for Shen Yuan.
Years later, and Luo Binge eyes his shizun with the same covetous gaze he did before. Yet, the most troubling thing now is that Shen Yuan returns a similarly besotted air.
Liu Qingge reminds himself that he and Shen Yuan are only betrothed. Theirs is a political match. Shen Yuan never made a vow to love him – he doesn’t truly owe him it. Nonetheless, it still hurts to realize that his feelings will never be returned.
In his distraction, Shen Yuan has escaped his view. Luo Binghe must have taken him somewhere. He curses internally. He does not know what sort of place the ex-disciple prefers.
Liu Qingge makes his excuses and slips out of the party. He heads to Shen Yuan’s chambers at Qiong Ding Peak. If he stays out late, he knows Shen Yuan does not want to deal with his brother. All he can do is pace and sit with his thoughts.
Things are not quite adding up.
Shen Yuan doted on Luo Binghe to a ridiculous degree. He does not act on jealousy. He is not the type to have pushed a talented disciple to leave, just for the disciple to become a servant for demons. He said that Luo Binghe was made for greater things than Qing Jing Peak. Liu Qingge cannot imagine what it can be though.
He is not imaginative but he tries to piece things together. Not everyone from the delegation is a demon. Luo Binghe is duplicitous. Luo Binghe must be higher rank than he is presenting himself as and could be a demon. The son of Tianlang-jun was found around the same time Luo Binghe left – Shen Yuan somehow knew the truth then and knows it now.
It is so simple that even he can see it. A betrothal with a demon prince is much more beneficial for Shen Yuan and the sect. Shen Yuan himself might arrange it due to his own affections. Liu Qingge does not begrudge him it.
But that leaves him to figure out what to do with the information and how to move forward. It is too late to prevent his own heartbreak.
He is not given the time to think.
Liu Qingge hears the soft laughter as one of them quietly opens the door. There’s a weak whack – the sound of Shen Yuan’s fan hitting someone.
They are immediately on guard when they enter the room – Liu Qingge had not exactly hidden himself. Luo Binghe pulls Shen Yuan behind him and draws his sword.
Shen Yuan makes a noise of annoyance, lightly pushing Luo Binghe aside. “It’s just Qingge, stand down. He is not going to hurt us.”
“Right,” Luo Binghe agrees. The slant of his mouth and his downturned brows expresses his doubt.
Liu Qingge raises his hands. Luo Binghe lowers his weapon but remains coiled and ready for a fight to break.
Shen Yuan’s fan snaps open. “What are you doing here?”
“You left.”
“How is that shidi’s business?” Shen Yuan glares.
“A’Yuan.”
“Qingge.”
He growls in frustration. Liu Qingge is not good at talking. He needs to direct the conversation but he does not know how to tell Shen Yuan that he recognizes where his heart lies without expressing all the messy emotions underneath. He does not want to burden him.
Perhaps out of pity, Luo Binghe takes it out of his hands. He sounds regretful to say, “Liu-shishu is your betrothed.”
“You don’t have to defend him!” Shen Yuan’s movement is sharp as he turns towards Luo Binghe. “It does not mean he needs to keep track of my every movement.”
“A’Yuan, I understand.” Each word is halting.
“Understand what?” Shen Yuan cuts in.
“Your feelings for Luo Binghe,” he forces out. “You are in love with him.”
“What?” He sounds peeved at the claim.
“And I have accepted that fact.”
Luo Binghe watches in wonder but Shen Yuan’s face has become blank. The fan in his hand drops to the floor. As habit, Liu Qingge picks it up and gives it back, a moment to delay.
He knows what to do.
If the end of the delegation’s visit comes to a close with a new treaty and a betrothal then – it might be the last time he will see him for stretches of time. He wants to bow out gracefully and on good terms. Now that they are reunited, Shen Yuan will not let Luo Binghe be separated from him again.
It is why he is going to make such a stupid decision.
“I will help you,” he solemnly vows. Liu Qingge looks away. Looking at Shen Yuan has become too much.
“What, so you’re fine with being cuckolded?”
“Binghe!” Shen Yuan hisses.
“I will give up the betrothal.” He focuses on Luo Binghe. “Because, I want A-Yuan to be happy and somehow that means you.”
“Even though I’m half-demon?” Luo Binghe invades his space as a challenge. Liu Qingge does not move.
“I’m stepping aside already – don’t push it.”
“You really don’t care, huh?”
“En. I don’t care about you.”
Luo Binghe laughs as if he told a joke. “Sure.”
Shen Yuan pushes himself between them. Liu Qingge glances at him, still unable to look directly. Confusion clings to him.
“What makes you think I do not want our betrothal?”
“It was a political match. Luo Binghe is a more politically advantageous match and you love him.”
“Is that what you think of us? Just duty?”
He had hoped Shen Yuan would not ask directly of his own feelings. To be vulnerable in this moment would be painful. A lie can make this easier.
“No,” he admits.
“You did not ask what I wanted, you only assumed.”
The smile from Luo Binghe falls. “Shizun…”
Shen Yuan holds up a hand. “Wait and let me gather my thoughts.”
The silence is tense.
Shen Yuan sighs and rubs at his forehead with the palm of his hand. It is an unguarded moment he does not normally let others see. He prides himself on being untouchable in public. A matching set with his equally immovable brother. It is a small comfort to know he is in his confidence, to see him this exposed.
“How about this: you will be with us when I spend time with Luo Binghe?”
“It is not about – I don’t –“
“Shizun, were you not complaining about him tracking your every movement?”
Shen Yuan sets aside his fan and grabs both of their hands. “Trust me?”
Luo Binghe’s face goes through several quick emotions before settling on a pout. Liu Qingge saw the changes but could not quite gleam what they meant. It leaves him unsettled. But Luo Binghe agrees eagerly enough.
Liu Qingge lowers his head in deference. There is no harm to the request, his heart already is broken.
From there, things get both easier and harder. Liu Qingge deals with it the best he can.
As predicted, Shen Yuan sets out to spend as much time with Luo Binghe as possible. Every step of the way, Liu Qingge is there. He is invited to follow them to many meetings and negotiations. Liu Qingge is bored out of his mind for those. On the occasion it is informal and just Shen Yuan and Luo Binghe alone, it is awkward. Either Shen Yuan is oblivious or ignores the awkwardness, he steamrolls any discomfort until it is gone.
Nevertheless, Shen Yuan is unable to completely settle Luo Binghe’s barbed tongue. Liu Qingge does challenge Luo Binghe to a spar in response at first and lose. Liu Qingge repeats the process several times. The impromptu spars show him that if he thought Luo Binghe was talented before from the few glimpses he had, the half-demon surpasses far beyond that upon his return.
Liu Qingge does not mind the losses. It is nice to be challenged for once. The losses force him to break out of the complacency that he has settled into. But it is even nicer to know that Shen Yuan will have a solid pillar of protection away from him.
One of the events he attends with Shen Yuan and Luo Binghe is a hunt. The hunt is organized to network and entertain the delegation but also to show off. For all that cultivators like to claim they are more sophisticated, cultivators and demons alike love a good hunt.
“Bet I can do better than you,” Luo Binghe taunts.
Shen Yuan interrupts before Liu Qingge can respond, asking, “Can we stay together? I don’t want to camp alone.”
Luo Binghe turns around quickly and clasps his hands. “Of course! And I can cook for you.”
“Wonderful! Luo Binghe’s cooking is the best,” Shen Yuan tells him like he is imparting great wisdom.
“Whipped,” Liu Qingge grumbles, using the word in a way Shang Qinghua taught them.
“As if you’re not the same,” retorts Luo Binghe.
Both comments earn a smack to the upper arm.
Together they stay, and their hunt is fruitful. They fight side by side during the day. It is different than what he is used to. Most are unable to keep up with him yet there are times when Luo Binghe keeps pace or surpasses him. He is, however, used to working with Shen Yuan. It has been a while since they did something like this.
When the sky darkens, they stop to rest. As promised, Luo Binghe eagerly prepares food. Annoyingly, it is the best thing Liu Qingge has ever eaten. It makes him regret not eating it while the man was still a disciple on Qing Jing.
Liu Qingge gives choice pieces to Shen Yuan and he returns the favor. Shen Yuan is not as effusive with praise about the cooking as he usually is. He opens his mouth to say something then closes it without saying a word. Liu Qingge remembers how Shen Yuan used to gush and encourage him to eat Luo Binghe’s sweets and tea.
Shen Yuan has been strange. He has been since that night Liu Qingge confronted them in his room. Subtle in their earlier interactions, the hunt brings it even further to the forefront.
Luo Binghe frowns. He hides his disappointed expression behind his bowl, but sitting near him, Liu Qingge can see it. Liu Qingge freezes then looks between Shen Yuan and Luo Binghe. At this rate, things are going to fall apart before even starting.
Liu Qingge doesn’t understand.
He stares into the flickering flames of fire. “Your food is very good. I…” Liu Qingge swallows his pride. “I would like to try Luo Binghe’s cooking when he has a full kitchen and pantry.”
At the corner of his eye, he spots Luo Binghe shooting him a surprised look and blushing. Shen Yuan mirrors him; his own mouth gaping then quickly contributing his own compliments. From there he switches topics to the monsters they have seen. Liu Qingge stuffs a piece of his mouth so he won’t be expected to say more.
Instead, Liu Qingge observes to grasp Luo Binghe’s preferences and starts to share choice bits with him too. It feels weird to leave him out. If Shen Yuan’s face is too thin to do so, he can take the first step for him.
And after the hunt, the three of them begin to shape a new rhythm to their interactions. It is… playful, filled with teasing and banter and nonsensical contests. One such competition is who can eat their sweetened ice the fastest without brain freeze. Shen Yuan wins that and rambles about pressing a tongue at the roof of the mouth. Luo Binghe leers some nonsense about pressing his own tongue into his mouth that earns him a soft whack to the forehead.
Another time, Luo Binghe drags them into the kitchen. Though the endeavor ends in a mess, the meal is the best he has ever had in taste and company. It fills Liu Qingge with a sense of accomplishment that he is not familiar with outside of the battlefield.
The difference from his expectations is startling. Liu Qingge is used to careful words and flattery. He expected a relationship similar to the one he witnessed his parents have with their own friends. But what he encounters is more vibrant, lively, and at times, almost warm. Liu Qingge prefers it, already missing it even though neither Luo Binghe nor Shen Yuan have left yet.
Their association raises a few brows but others assume Luo Binghe is acting as a chaperone. Hearing that one made him snort; if anyone is a chaperone, it is him. Shen Jiu scowls when they cross paths but it is not any different from the norm.
The continued ignorance of others encourages them to be reckless on the night before the demon delegation is set to leave. Shen Yuan stands by the entrance as a sentry, barely watching for passersby as Liu Qingge tries to get Luo Binghe into Shen Yuan’s room.
“Why don’t you use your sword?” asks Liu Qingge.
“I didn’t bring it with me.”
Liu Qingge gapes in astonishment. “…you didn’t bring it.”
“I didn’t think I needed it!” Luo Binghe rushes to defend himself. “Besides, you’re here to protect me from anything.”
“From what?”
“Well, if it’s nothing, I guess I don’t need my sword then. Right?” Luo Binghe’s eyes somehow sparkle with guilelessness.
Liu Qingge rolls his own eyes. He clasps Luo Binghe’s forearms and pulls him up.
“Come on!” Luo Binghe hisses. “Can’t you do this faster?”
“I would if you weren’t so fucking heavy!” Liu Qingge grits out.
“It’s because you have twig arms!” Luo Binghe complains. “Maybe I should have brought my sword.”
“That’s what I said!” Liu Qingge huffs and ignores the insult.
Shen Yuan fans himself and checks out the doorway. “Lower your voices!”
They shut up.
Dragging Luo Binghe in, they stumble into a pile of limbs. His face is distressingly close to Luo Binghe’s. He feels the back of his neck and ears heat up. Embarrassingly, it takes Shen Yuan to separate them.
The three of them stay on the floor and proceed to talk about everything and nothing. Luo Binghe and Shen Yuan swap stories of the years during Luo Binghe's absence from Qing Jing Peak. Liu Qingge nods or offers corrections but otherwise lets the soft murmurs wash over him.
None of them bring up the topic of the next day. They stay up late into the night, knowing it will be the last. Liu Qingge begins to droop so he arranges himself more comfortably on the floor.
Luo Binghe stops his latest story to ask, “What are you doing?”
“Going to sleep,” Liu Qingge responds as he yawns.
“On the floor?” Shen Yuan asks.
“En.”
Liu Qingge hears the shuffle of movement and of the blankets shifting.
Slightly further away, Shen Yuan commands, “Get up here.”
Too tired to argue, Liu Qingge drags himself up the bed. He is surprised when he feels a tug that it is Luo Binghe who pulls his wrist. They rearrange themselves, and Liu Qingge finds himself bracketed on both sides. He lets the heat pull him asleep.
Liu Qingge wakes up when the door bangs open and closes just as fast. Luo Binghe falls out of the bed. The sudden cold of the air further jolts him to awareness. Shen Jiu barges into the room, fluttering robes like a hurricane.
“You were not subtle! What were you thinking? Especially you! You should have known better!” Shen Jiu shouts as he marches to the bed.
Shen Yuan winces.
“What would you have done if it wasn’t me who found you?”
“Ah, well you see,” Shen Yuan glances at Liu Qingge before staring back at Shen Jiu. “Can I speak with them alone – without you here?”
“You should have done that last night!” Shen Jiu glares and raises his hands in exasperation. The fan in one of them ominously creaks. He points at him. “Fine. Settle this!”
He sweeps out, just as abrupt as his entrance.
“I’m sorry Qingge.”
Liu Qingge feels his stomach drop. He is expecting the official declaration but it doesn’t make it any easier. Any remaining warmth leeches out of him.
Shen Yuan waves both of his hands and rushes to say, “It’s probably not what you are thinking! I really want to make this work and show you that you didn’t have anything to worry about. This is more than a political match to me.”
“What about me?” Luo Binghe interrupts.
“I care about you too!” Shen Yuan’s hands twist in his robes. “It’s just…”
“It’s just that you were already committed to Liu Qingge,” Luo Binghe says bitterly.
Shen Yuan hesitantly nods. “But then I saw you interact and I thought, what if?”
What if? The conversation is going too fast. His head is swarming with the information and the possibility that Shen Yuan is suggesting. He doesn’t love Luo Binghe – not yet. But he can see himself grow to do so; he already likes him after such a short period of time, sooner than anyone he has before.
Yet, Liu Qingge finds himself getting stuck at the beginning of the conversation. He doesn’t get why Shen Yuan apologized. It makes him nervous that he is missing something that can pull the rug out from under him.
“A’Yuan, what are you sorry about?”
“For being selfish, and for assuming, and – and…”
It was his fault. His doubt hurt him and made Shen Yuan question himself. Liu Qingge was selfish in trying to prevent his own hurt and made the initial assumptions that caused this problem.
“Then I apologize for the same.” Liu Qingge grabs hold of his hand and rubs a comforting circle. For a moment, he resents being in the middle. Talking is hard enough. He shifts so that he can continue to hold Shen Yuan’s hand but also face Luo Binghe. “Do you want the same as Shen Yuan?”
Luo Binghe stares, eyes darting between the two of them then settling on Liu Qingge. “If it really is an option, then I want to be selfish too. I want you both.”
Liu Qingge leans, resting his head on Luo Binghe’s shoulder. He feels the soft exhalation.
“Then it is settled. We can figure this out,” Shen Yuan says with a light laugh, relief lacing every word.
“En.”
The delegation stays for longer yet.