Work Text:
This time for sure will be different.
Liu Qingge made a promise to himself when he was 10: he will never fall in love.
After a particularly hard hit to the head, he remembered his past lives. Multiple. And every single time, he falls in love with a couple who seems to be destined and blessed by the heavens. He has particularly rotten luck. The Liu Qingge in his memories is always a third wheel.
The worst part is this: he thinks that the couple is always the same one too.
But unlike all the other past versions of himself, he has the edge of advantage with the memories. He will just not meet them. If he has to, he will not fall in love. He will remind himself of all the other times it does not work out.
There is one problem with his plan. He is unable to identify them by sight which leads him to his current, internal panic. Liu Qingge is pretty sure he has failed step one and two.
He really thought he was successful for a while after avoiding Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe.
Mobei-jun offers him a hand up. He clasps it and the cold suffuses him, chilling his heated body.
“Impressive.”
“En.” Not knowing what else to say, he leaves it at that.
“Liu-shidi, that was amazing!” Shang Qinghua presses a handkerchief against his face, wiping away the grime.
He feels the heat return to his face.
They are like a twisted mirror of Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe – just without the baggage of history between them. For a brief moment he is worried that he identified his feelings wrong, that he is chasing for echoes of others.
Yet he is confident he sees them as their own people.
He thinks of Shang Qinghua’s ink-stained hands and ink smudged against his cheek because he always somehow forgets that ink needs to dry. His babbling about whatever story he is working on as he tries to talk through a plot hole in it. His willingness to give up his dignity if there is something more important on the line, or even when he is just lazy. His strange need to play up his incompetency when he is one of the most skilled cultivators, both clever and strong.
The companionable silence he shares with Mobei-jun that has no pressure to talk after a fruitful hunt as they field dress their hunt. His strength and creative use of his powers. His earnest attempts to do better. His dedication to learn how to cook noodles for Shang Qinghua. His utter ruthlessness to protect when someone crosses any he cares about.
There is a certain comfort in finding someone alike to oneself, a certain kinship. Similar to himself, emotions are subtle on Mobei-jun’s face. Liu Qingge has gotten used to reading him. When he brings both Mobei-jun and Shang Qinghua his trophies, delight shines from his eyes. While Shang Qinghua can deliver his political enemies on a silver platter, there is something different to be given frivolous gifts.
Liu Qingge is not one for frivolity. But something about them makes him want to indulge.
He finds himself wanting to be selfish. He wishes he can spend all his time with them. He starts to deliberately to pick night hunts and missions that would bring him closer. He stays longer than is wise.
Past experience informs him that it is a bad idea. However, Liu Qingge can’t bother to listen to reason. He has already fallen into their orbit and cannot get out.
Perhaps he falls in love with a different couple each time. By evading the Qing Jing Peak Lord and his husband, he has simply fallen in a different trap.
Love to him has always been the rush of blood from a good fight, the buoyed feeling of victory. He has plenty opportunity for it with the increased time he has spent with Mobei-jun and Shang Qinghua.
Sometimes, Mobei-jun accompanies him on hunts. More often, Mobei-jun is at his own territories when possible. There, Shang Qinghua would arrange bouts, a contest of strength.
From these competitions, he has gained a certain infamy. When he visits the Demon Realm, he is challenged on sight.
Testing himself against demons is exhilarating. It isn’t like fighting a mindless beast. Their abilities and weaknesses are different from cultivators.
The best, most embarrassing part, is that his favorite thing about the bouts is the chance to show off in front of Mobei-jun and Shang Qinghua. He soaks in the meager praise. Liu Qingge is so desperate for any affirmation like some stray that one kind word can crack him.
He hates it. But he comes back for more anyway.
Liu Qingge gets up and shakes the dirt off. Mobei-jun and Shang Qinghua immediately surround him, providing a buffer from the other demons’ attention.
“How long is Liu-shidi staying?”
He shrugs.
“You should stay for a while – there is a winter solstice festival soon. I think there will be many competitions Liu-shidi may be interested to participate in.”
“Mn.”
Shang Qinghua grins at his agreement. “I will get the servants to prepare your room.”
Mobei-jun is a silent shadow beside him but he can feel his contentment. Shang Qinghua gently pries about his latest hunts, Mobei-jun asking the occasional question.
He does not need to prompt Shang Qinghua to update him on the recent goings-on. He happily regales him of what happened, inserting his own commentary. Mobei-jun’s humor is dry as he adds his own thoughts. Liu Qingge lets the words wash over him.
Maybe he does not want to escape their orbit.
He feels like he matters. They miss him when he is gone and cares that he is doing well. He is not some bore they have to suffer through. They want him to be around. It is more than he ever expected – the possibility of going after what he wants without fear for once.
It won’t be so bad this time.
He will simply have to do what he does best: face things head-on.