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OSTENTATIOUS ORCHESTRATIONS DESK CALENDAR - Today is March 22nd, 51. A Friday. You are eleven days deep into your retrograde amnesia.
CONCEPTUALIZATION [Medium: Success] - You are eleven days old. This calendar has seen more days than you.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - You’re much older than that. Look at this body. Tell me it’s eleven days old.
VOLITION [Medium: Success] - Well, for an *eleven-day-old* with the body of a forty-four-year-old, you’ve got a comparatively decent grasp on the world.
INLAND EMPIRE: You’ve got a better grasp on the world than most people, you feel. Not many people toss and turn in their bed thinking about it quite like you do. People know of its horrors and beauties, but not like you. Never like you.
YOU - This world...
AUTHORITY [Challenging: Success] - Eyes up, officer!
PERCEPTION (Sight) [Trivial: Success] - Precinct 41.
HALF LIGHT - The Bloody Murder Station.
AUTHORITY - This is your world.
SHIVERS [Medium: Success] - It’s all you’ve had the displeasure of knowing.
AUTHORITY - This is what your heart beats for. This is why you clawed yourself out of bed this morning.
ESPRIT DE CORPS [Easy: Success] - Against the wishes of your half-brothers.
THE C-WING - This floor is lined with a handful of desks. They stand in pairs. These desks are worn from tireless use, dents in the wood and broken hinges in the drawers and cabinets. The tiled flooring is scratched under each metal-framed chair. One of these desks and one of these chairs you now call yours, as you slouch, resting your elbows on the wood and your face in your hands.
ESPRIT DE CORPS [Formidable: Success] - Last night, a new scratch carved itself into the floor about a meter from where you sit now. A chair screeched along the tile. Satellite-Officer Jean Vicquemare slumped all his weight in it. As Patrol Officer Judit Minot tried to pull him up out of it, he made himself heavier. There was still paperwork to fill out.
An hour and a half prior, the two of them had been pursuing a suspect. Young and agile, they were difficult to catch up with. But Vicquemare was angry and caffeinated.
EMPATHY - And he has done a shit ton of running alongside you.
ESPRIT DE CORPS - Minot was lagging behind, with significantly less speed, caffeine, and vitriol in her system. But Vicquemare was closing in on the suspect. So they removed the small pistol from their back pocket, twisted their head and pulled the trigger.
SHIVERS - Three hearts sank.
ESPRIT DE CORPS - Vicquemare had fallen to the ground. As Minot rushed to him, she would come to find the bullet had passed through his ankle. And his face smashed in the impact of the fall.
HAND/EYE COORDINATION [Trivial: Success] - Shit aim.
ESPRIT DE CORPS - Vicquemare thought the same thing. It was all he thought about as he hobbled back to the motor carriage, half his weight hanging onto Minot’s shoulder and as the station’s lazareth patched him up. The suspect is young. The suspect has shit aim. The suspect is inexperienced. He knew a better officer would’ve caught them.
So Minot, with all her might, pulled Vicquemare out of his chair. Away from his paperwork.
EMPATHY [Formidable: Success] - And out of his thoughts.
ESPRIT DE CORPS - She drove him home. Heated up leftovers for him. Made sure he would eat and left.
EMPATHY - This probably made things worse. He doesn’t like to be taken care of. If he could’ve helped it he wouldn’t have even hung on her shoulder to begin with.
THE C-WING - Now the desk in front of yours is empty. What paperwork Minot didn’t take to finish herself is now slotted away in one of his drawers.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Trivial: Success] - You know what else is in that drawer?
YOU - Not right now... [Finish thought]
VOLITION - Good man, Harry.
ESPRIT DE CORPS - You weren’t here last night when Vicquemare sat across from your desk, bleeding into his bandages. You had already gone home. You had already gone home two days ago.
They decided to give you three days off when you first got back from Martinaise. Time to heal your thigh, time to do a little more background-checking on yourself, and time to stay out of their way as they figured out the best way to handle your mess.
ENDURANCE [Godly: Failure] - You lasted two days. Every time you looked under your bed you found a new empty bottle of something.
VOLITION - Your apartment isn’t home to you anymore. Not yet, maybe. But the smell of alcohol and stale urine are familiar enough for you to fall asleep there. It was easy enough to return to after a tireless day of skimming through half the books in Jamrock’s library.
COMPOSURE [Godly: Failure] - But this morning, in the depths of your closet, you found a box full of the smell of apricot. That was your final straw.
THE C-WING - When you came in this afternoon nobody seemed surprised.
ENCYCLOPEDIA [Medium: Success] - You were more surprised than anybody; that you managed to remember the route from your apartment to here.
INLAND EMPIRE - On the way here you got a glimpse of the river running underneath the 8/81. You wanted to walk into it.
THE C-WING - At your arrival, Torson and McLaine just stared at you from their pair of desks. Torson gazed from behind recently un-glued eyelids, and couldn’t drag himself away before it got uncomfortable. McLaine looked to you, then to Torson, then back to you.
EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - They’re not so sure they find your predicament amusing anymore, now that they’re facing it directly. They were in no rush to head out on a case until you arrived.
JUDIT MINOT - The patrol officer gave you a sigh and slapped paperwork on your desk. The one next to Vicquemare’s.
ESPRIT DE CORPS [Impossible: Failure] - You wouldn’t have known where you sit if she hadn’t shown you.
JUDIT MINOT - “Welcome back, Harry,” she said. Then walked off to the break room.
INLAND EMPIRE [Trivial: Success] - Where Vicquemare is camping out today.
YOU - This paperwork is dogshit.
LOGIC - It’s processing forms, mostly.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - Unbefitting of a man born to Jamrock Shuffle.
ESPRIT DE CORPS [Formidable: Success] - Everyone would love to have you back out there, Jamrock Shuffling. They could really use the extra hand right now. And they know that, for better or for worse, you managed through an infected bullet wound in Martinaise. But you have no one to accompany you on the streets of the city. And you’re not even supposed to be here.
At a professional level, nobody knows what to do with you. That's what happening right now as you cook in the silence of the wing, alone, twiddling your thumbs. They’re trying to put you to use somewhere you won’t send another 45,000 reál down the drain.
In the meantime, an extra pair of hands on some tedious paperwork doesn’t hurt.
VOLITION - No one is exempt from paperwork, not even you. You’ve done this before, much less sober. It doesn’t have to be a problem for you now.
- Rifle through your cabinets.
- Check out the break room.
- [Volition: Medium] Do your paperwork.
CASA DE DU BOIS - A small note stuck to the outside of the top cabinet reads “CASA DE DU BOIS” in your handwriting.
CONCEPTUALIZATION [Medium: Success] - What? Was that really the best you could think of?
CASA DE DU BOIS - Inside the cabinet is a notepad. Clearly the one you used to put that sign on your top cabinet. Next to it, loose pens and pencils and a handful of eraser caps.
SAVOIR FAIRE [Medium: Success] - You have no need for all those eraser caps and pencils. You’re not some schoolboy. You’re too cool for mistakes. You write with the strong permanence of a pen.
REACTION SPEED [Challenging: Failure] - Unsuccessfully. Your brain thinks faster than your hand, and it often ends up skipping a letter, or a whole word. Your ledger is full of crossed-out words.
CASA DE DU BOIS - Beneath all the strewn about writing tools is another ledger, much like the one you brought with you today, albeit lacking in failure and hatred and cool tissue paper. It looks nearly untouched, a thin layer of dust building over its cover.
INLAND EMPIRE [Impossible: Failure] - You doubt you’ve ever used that thing. The Ledger of Failure and Hatred has been your only ledger in all your years here.
- Check the ledger.
- Check the bottom cabinet.
CASA DE DU BOIS - The bottom cabinet contains a dubious stack of magazines.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Trivial: Success] - Of porn, baby! Porn magazines! Boobs and everything! That libido never rests, brother!
PERCEPTION [Medium: Success] - This stack is also collecting a thin layer of dust. These magazines go mostly unused.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Damn.
CASA DE DU BOIS - The stack almost reaches the top of the cabinet, but leaves just enough room for you to reach behind the stack, while still obscuring the view to any onlookers.
DRAMA [Medium: Success] - A genius red herring, sire!
INLAND EMPIRE - Something is missing in the back... when your hand goes back there, it misses the feeling of something.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Formidable: Success] - Oh god! Your sweet succulent amphetamines! They’re gone! They’ve been taken! Who could’ve done such a thing... We have to find the culprit!
VOLITION - No, we don’t.
LOGIC - Don’t ask me to do anything about this. I won’t.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - It was probably that son of a bitch, Vic! He was probably running low, so he dipped into your supply. Well, now he owes you!
VOLITION - You’re better off this way.
- [Savoir Faire: Formidable] Reach over and steal back your speed.
- Close the cabinet.
CASA DE DU BOIS - The scantily clad woman on the cover of the top magazine wishes you farewell as you slide the cabinet shut.
INLAND EMPIRE [Formidable: Success] - Read me one day , she says.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Oh, baby, I’ll get through to him. Don’t you worry.
VOLITION [Medium: Success] - Don’t go to the break room yet. I don’t think we’re ready.
- Check out the break room.
- [Volition: Medium] Do your paperwork.
VOLITION [Medium: Failure] - Oh, you give it a good try. You manage to read a single paragraph of legal jargon before the words start melting in your minds-eye. It’s torture. The words don’t even look real. You feel like you just forgot the language you’ve been speaking since birth. The tedium makes it all foreign.
Trying to go on is fruitless. All in vain. Try to fix your eyes on the start of one sentence and they’ll just jump three or so sentences ahead. None of the words process in your brain.
With a groan, you slide the paperwork to the side and slump your head in your arms on the desk.
How did you ever do this before Martinaise?
PERCEPTION (Hearing) [Medium: Success] - A door closes somewhere in the near distance.
- Wallow.
- Pick your head up.
PERCEPTION (Sight) [Easy: Success] - In the entrance of the C-Wing, diamond-shaped glasses peer out from behind the dividing wall.
COMPOSURE [Impossible: Failure] - IT’S KIM!!
SAVOIR FAIRE [Godly: Failure] - You’re scrambling out of your chair. You barely avoid tripping over yourself as you scamper to him. It’s embarrassing. Nobody but the two of you are witnessing this, but cosmically, it’s embarrassing.
YOU- “Kim!”
KIM KITSURAGI - He hides back behind the wall again--
VOLITION [Heroic: Failure] - NO!!
KIM KITSURAGI - ...Before stepping all the way into the doorway. Hands folded behind his back.
“Officer, you’re here? I thought you’re still supposed to be at home recovering.”
ESPRIT DE CORPS [Challenging: Success] - Not here, embarrassing me , he thinks.
VOLITION - It’s been two days since you’ve seen Kim. Two long days. His absence isn’t the reason those days were as long as they were. For the most part.
ENCYCLOPEDIA - Catching up with the rest of the world. Reading books where the fundamentals are knowledge taken for granted. Talking to people with decades of memories.
INLAND EMPIRE - The clock seemed to stop ticking entirely as you connected point A to point B, then B to C, and on and on.
ENDURANCE - Your body and soul were wiped *halfway* through it.
VOLITION - And life as you know it started with Kim. You’ve spent more of your memory with him than without him. These last three days were new and isolating. An all new place with all new people.
CONCEPTUALIZATION - As if your days in Martinaise didn’t even mean anything. Like they were just a trial run for the real thing.
VOLITION - You spoke with strangers just as you did in Martinaise, but the empty air behind you was apparent; there would be nobody to fall back on when something you weren’t ready for reared its head.
CONCEPTUALIZATION - A baby still getting the hang of walking, with nobody around to catch it when its face hit the concrete.
VOLITION - This can hardly be healthy. You ought to start missing other people.
INLAND EMPIRE - How about--
VOLITION - Nevermind. Forget I said anything.
REACTION SPEED [Medium: Success] - To the present, Harry! Kim is here, expecting an explanation. What exactly are you doing here?
- “I’m tired of home.”
- “I found a box full of ex-wife things. Everything in it made me suicidal so I came here.”
- “I came here to see you, Kim.”
- [Savoir Faire: Godly] Hug him.
KIM KITSURAGI - He huffs, but the corners of his lips curve. “Detective that... makes no sense. You had no reason to believe I’d be here. My transfer won’t be complete for another week. I was just meeting with Captain Pryce.”
ESPRIT DE CORPS [Medium: Success] - For the first time. It was nerve-wracking.
EMPATHY [Challenging: Success] - But it went well. Really well. He’s in good spirits.
KIM KITSURAGI - “But really...” he says, awaiting a real answer.
SUGGESTION [Medium: Success] - Don’t hug him...
- “I’m tired of home.”
- “I found a box full of ex-wife things. Everything in it made me suicidal so I came here.”
- [Savoir Faire: Godly] Hug him.
COMPOSURE [Formidable: Failure] - The words wobble as they leave your mouth. The empty bottles and the little notes from a young woman still leave weight in your dying heart. You wouldn’t have survived in that tiny apartment, not for another minute.
KIM KITSURAGI - He processes your words in stride and gives you two careful pats on your shoulder.
ESPRIT DE CORPS [Legendary: Success] - Hang in there, Harry.
EMPATHY - Words unbefitting of the prideful sort of animal he is. So he does his best to press them into your shoulder instead.
KIM KITSURAGI - “Keeping busy sometimes helps.”
EMPATHY [Challenging: Success] - This is how he copes. This and motor carriage maintenance. He doesn’t really believe you work the same way.
KIM KITSURAGI - “But it sounds like you're struggling to keep busy.” He leans his head towards your desk and the pile of paperwork on it. He saw you a few moments ago, slumping over your desk, attention span dead on arrival.
YOU - “Well...”
JUDIT MINOT - “It was mostly just to keep you at your desk, Harry.” Her voice suddenly bleeds into the dusty air around you as she steps out of the break room.
ESPRIT DE CORPS - You were never any good at paperwork even before all this.
JUDIT MINOT - “Good to see you, Lieutenant Kitsuragi.”
ESPRIT DE CORPS [Formidable: Success] - Besides you, she’s probably the most pleased to have a new warm body in the C-Wing.
EMPATHY - She’s been the new face around here for a bit now, even if she found her footing quickly. Not being the newest face will be a breath of fresh air.
LOGIC - And a fresh face with a warm body is the best assistance this precinct can get now. There will be no more additional funding-- funding will be cut, in fact; because of you.
VOLITION - You’ll just have to do your best to make it up to these people you still don’t really know.
ESPRIT DE CORPS - They know you. Everythings worse because you don’t know them but they know you.
EMPATHY - You’re not the only one hurting here.
KIM KITSURAGI - He searches your eyes. It’s apparent to him that you're yelling at yourself in there.
INLAND EMPIRE - Stare longer. Know our vast, vast soul.
KIM KITSURAGI - Then he leans his body to the side to look past you. “How have you been, Officer Minot?” He says with a smile.
JUDIT MINOT - “I’ve been well enough. We’ve all been well enough.”
DRAMA [Medium: Success] - Things could be better, sire.
EMPATHY [Challenging: Success] - She’s trying to convince herself otherwise.
KIM KITSURAGI - For a short moment he scans the mostly empty room.
ESPRIT DE CORPS [Medium: Success] - Vicquemare’s absence is felt. But Kim has no plans on prying.
JUDIT MINOT - “You?”
KIM KITSURAGI - “Good. Looking forward to the transfer.”
RHETORIC - Is this how normal people talk? It’s mind numbing.
EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - But he means it. Generally, he is hanging in there-- but something happened in there with Pryce that made his week-- maybe his year.
SUGGESTION - You know, they’re talking past you right now. Maybe you should chime in. Now would be a good time.
...God, what are these options?
- “How are you, Harry? Oh I’m good, how about you, Harry? Oh, can’t complain!”
- “Real brave of you two to be holding up. In spite of the world burning around us and shit.”
- Wrap your arm around Kim’s shoulder and squeeze tight. “He’s gonna be one of us, Jude!”
- “HEY, JEAN, GET IN HERE! KIM CAME TO VISIT!”
- I’m not saying any of those things. That’s a bad idea.
COMPOSURE [Challenging: Failure] - You scoot out of Kim’s line of sight fidgeting. Though you manage to keep any complex spoken language at bay, an involuntary little hum escapes your sewed-shut lips. The two of them look at you, mildly puzzled.
PERCEPTION (Hearing) - The air goes stale with silence for a moment.
JUDIT MINOT - Then she clears her throat. “If you’d excuse me,” she says quickly before grabbing some papers off her desk. She gives you two a polite smile before darting back into the break room.
SUGGESTION - Well that could’ve gone better.
VOLITION - Try not to be so hard on yourself. This crowd has seen you kill plenty of conversations. They tend to just brush it off.
EMPATHY [Formidable: Success] - Judit’s even a little grateful. She really did need to get back to work.
KIM KITSURAGI - He turns back to you. Not entirely focused.
ESPRIT DE CORPS [Formidable: Success] - I wonder if they’ll all be that amicable... oh, definitely not.
SUGGESTION [Medium: Success] - Again, you really shouldn’t hug him.
- “You don’t have to worry, Kim. You’ll probably get on their good sides before even I do.”
- “You said you’re good. You’re good? Doing good?”
- “How’d things go with the captain?”
- [Savoir Faire: Godly] Hug him.
KIM KITSURAGI - He scoffs. He really can’t wrap his head around the way you seem to read his mind.
EMPATHY - It drove him up the wall in Martinaise. He thought his cool and collective mask was slipping. He’d come to find it’s just something you can see through sometimes.
He’s not sure he’ll ever get used to it, but he’s certainly far from sick of it.
KIM KITSURAGI - “Thank you, detective,” he says after a moment. “But let’s not make it a competition.”
YOU - “You’re right, it’s no competition. You’d destroy me.”
KIM KITSURAGI - He fails to suppress one solid huff of laughter. Nothing more escapes him.
SUGGESTION - Oh, fuck yeah. We should do this more often, making people laugh I mean. This feels right.
KIM KITSURAGI - “Really detective…” He thinks for a moment. “*You* don’t have to worry either. Everyone will come back around to you in time.”
YOU - “You really think so?”
KIM KITSURAGI - “Well..." He considers something. It takes him a while, actually. “They came for you at the end of the day, didn’t they?”
ESPRIT DE CORPS [Medium: Success] - They still care about you , he thinks.
KIM KITSURAGI - “It will probably take some time. But you’ll prove your worth.”
VOLITION - Here’s someone who believes in you. Don’t prove him wrong.
- “You said you’re good. You’re good? Doing good?”
- “How’d things go with the captain?”
- [Savoir Faire: Godly] Hug him.
KIM KITSURAGI - He gives you an amused look. “Yes, detective. I’m doing *well*. Busy, but mostly with transfer business...”
ESPRIT DE CORPS [Formidable: Success] ...so it’s all worth it.
KIM KITSURAGI - “Comparatively, I’m fine.” He points to his concussion, where the bruising is fading. “Better than I was a few days ago.” Then he glances at your thigh, shaking noticeably less under the weight of you. “You seem to be healing up well too.”
COMPOSURE - That’s funny... you’ve just started thinking that maybe you’re *worse* than you were a few days ago. You had vague familiarity and adrenaline to run on then.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - Well, Kim’s not wrong about your thigh. This slab of meat is feeling much livelier.
KIM KITSURAGI - “But really, detective. I’m good. You don’t need to worry about me. You just focus on yourself, and on getting back to work.”
ESPRIT DE CORPS [Legendary: Success] ... But I guess you really missed me , he thinks, amused.
VOLITION - Yeah, you did. God, you did.
- “How’d things go with the captain?”
- “I really missed you, Kim.”
- [Savoir Faire: Godly] Hug him.
KIM KITSURAGI - “Good,” He says, unable to stop himself from smiling. “Very good.”
EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - Somehow, something besides you has finally put a crack in his armor of coolness. He’s using all his restraint right now. Like if he didn’t he’d explode.
SUGGESTION - Ease the good news out of him. Don’t just ask him. That was a private meeting, and Kim’s a secretive man. You’ll have to coax it out of him.
EMPATHY - Oh, no you won’t. He’s eager to let you in on this.
YOU - “Sounds like good news. What happened?”
KIM KITSURAGI - He scans the room for a minute. Nobody but the two of you here, standing in the doorway.
PERCEPTION (Hearing) [Challenging: Success] - Vicquemare and Minot talk in low voices in the break room. From where you stand the sound is oh so faint.
KIM KITSURAGI - His face turns serious. “I was discussing... assets issued to me by the RCM. Things like my firearm and toolbox. Some officers have had to return such items during a transfer.”
INTERFACING [Medium: Success] - His Coupris Kineema. Another asset issued to him by the RCM. The best one.
KIM KITSURAGI - “I didn’t want to ask... about it. About the Kineema.”
YOU - “What’s gonna happen to her?”
KIM KITSURAGI - A full, teeth-bared smile peels back on his face. “She’s transferring too.”
YOU- Your eyes widen and your jaw drops.
VOLITION [Challenging: Success] - Thank god. Another fate for her is a hard pill to swallow. Kim has given up a lot to work alongside you. First his pride, then his hubcaps, then temporary loss of some brain functions. You don’t understand these sacrifices. You feel unworthy of them. Losing his Kineema would be the nail in your coffin.
You don’t really know why Kim transferred to this precinct, knowing he’d be greeted with double his old workload. All you know is that you’re grateful he’s coming; That your days carrying bodies and tag-team intimidating witnesses doesn’t have to end.
CONCEPTUALIZATION [Easy: Success] - You and Kim, spending what’s left of this fleeting existence, doing all you’ve known to do. It’s a scenario you’ve made up and grown quite fond of.
VOLITION - But to think his Kineema could’ve been lost in the transfer. You wouldn’t be able to bear it. That souped-up Coupris Kineema is... well, really, it’s his baby. Certainly more important than you.
KIM KITSURAGI - “Captain Pryce managed to settle an arrangement with Precinct 57. Of course, the number painted on it has to be changed, and I’ll have to pay that out of pocket.”
The smile will not leave his face. He thinks it’s funny that Pryce asked that of him like it would be a dealbreaker to someone. Not for Kim Kitsuragi, that’s for sure.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Medium: Success] - That unnatural smile on his face is contagious, it tugs The Expression in new directions. For this small moment in time, Kim can’t contain himself, and his excitement is radiating through the air into you.
ESPRIT DE CORPS [Challenging: Success] - He thinks it’s good too, that Precinct 41 is no longer one motor carriage short. It won’t solve the monetary loss and bad PR. God no, nothing will solve that. But it keeps fewer officers patrolling on foot. That has to count for something.
INTERFACING - A motor carriage this cool has got to get people in higher spirits.
YOU - “Now we ought to finally get those helium headlights on her.”
KIM KITSURAGI - His smile finally fades into something tame, much more familiar on his face. “Yes, that’s a good idea. Let's get on that sometime soon.”
- “I really missed you, Kim.”
- [Savoir Faire: Godly] Hug him.
KIM KITSURAGI - He looks at you for a moment, the gears turning in his head shine through his eyes. Then he chooses his next words carefully.
“I’m glad you’re here. It’s nice to see you again too.”
SUGGESTION - ...Harry, it’s not a good idea, hugging him. Stop considering it. Stop even thinking about it. Please.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Medium: Success] - Harry, you want this more than any vice. You don’t remember a single hug in your memory, and your body has ached, gone even longer without one.
ENDURANCE [Godly: Failure] - God, you’re exhausted. Do you think he could hold all your weight if you collapsed onto him?
- [Savoir Faire: Godly] Hug Him.
+2 It’s nice to see you again.
- “Well... uh... anyways..." (Proceed)
SAVOIR FAIRE [Godly: Success] - You step a little closer, carefully, arms outstretched. Kim stiffens up for the slightest moment, not sure what you’re about to do to him. But when your hands reach around the back of him, you feel the tension in his body ease a little. Your head falls to his shoulder, back curved forward to reach him down there.
Kim returns the gesture minimally, in his own way. He reaches over and places a hand on your shoulder, and gives three little pats. You let out a sigh here, where it’s safe to do so. You’re tired, and Kim knows, and so you sigh.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Medium: Success] - Down here you can smell the pine, and the chestnut, and the motor oil again. Your GABA-receptors soothe the dull rush of thoughts in your mind.
It can’t be more than two seconds later that he pulls back, breaking out of your grasp. He waits to take his hand away from your shoulder until he’s completely free.
EMPATHY [Formidable: Success] - This is his personal limit. It will have to suffice.
PERCEPTION (Touch) - It wasn’t for long, but the absence of his hand on your shoulder is felt. Immensely.
KIM KITSURAGI - When you finally see his face again, he gives you an assured look.
EMPATHY - He can’t do much for you. But if this means anything to you, he’s happy to do this.
YOU- All the time? Like I can hug him again and again?
EMPATHY - Have you been listening? I said this is his limit.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - You really want to do that again though. Your skin is still tingling in the after effects of human connection. Your forehead is cold where it slept on the lieutenant’s orange nylon.
YOU - Why do I want it to always be Kim?
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - It wasn’t even that good of a hug, coach. Kim sucks at hugs.
YOU - His bad hugs mean the world to me. Kim means the world to me.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Man, that’s kinda...
VOLITION - Even with no memory of what it's like to care for someone in a normal capacity, you’ve recognized your attachment to Kim as abnormal for a while now.
ESPRIT DE CORPS [Medium: Success] - Officers of the Revachol Citizens Militia, more often than not just share a drink together, maybe share the last cigarette in a pack between them. The more distasteful portion of the force will chatter about the sorts of bigoted ideals turned away in anyone else's company. This is the most common sort of camaraderie among officers.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Drinking and smoking to your heart's content with your favorite person... oh wouldn’t you love that?
INLAND EMPIRE [Formidable: Success] - You want much more than that. Kim is so much more than some drinking buddy. You cannot let go of him. He’s your only person left in this world. Everyone else still fills you with vast loneliness.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - Hey, maybe this train of thought isn’t such a good idea. You're starting to feel something physical and real in your chest. Reminiscent of a knot in your back.
VOLITION - There is so much unbridled emotion in there. It makes your heart weigh tons in your ribcage. You really ought to put a name to it.
Thought Gained: Aces Hug
YOU - Will this take a while?
VOLITION - Oh Harry, you remember the first time you had to think about your sexuality? You thought it would take twenty hours; it only took you eight. Well, this one *actually will* take you twenty hours. Maybe more.
KIM KITSURAGI - He’s tapping his foot, a little uncomfortable now. He’s not sure what he expected but the silence that’s taken place while your brain chugs along is making this vulnerable moment harder on him.
“You should get back to your paperwork. And I should get back to my own precinct.”
YOU - You neither stop nor hide the way your whole body sinks at the idea of his departure.
VOLITION - It would be good for you, Harry, to take some time away from Kim. To consider just existing without him sometimes, rather than wallow in his absence as you have these last few days.
COMPOSURE - Besides, do you really want him here while you're thinking about the very nature of your relationship? Could be quite compromising.
KIM KITSURAGI - As he sees your face fall he pulls his eyes away, staring out the window. He takes in a sharp breath of the stale air, thinking. Then turns back to you and exhales in his words. “Do you remember how to do those forms? I can get you started, but then I really have to go.”
EMPATHY [Legendary: Success] - This one last thing is for him too.