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Voices permeate through the thick fog that surrounds his brain. Spike knows he could just wake up if he could push through the fog that’s taken over his head. He’s aware enough to know he’s back on the Bebop, somehow. It’s a miracle in and of itself that he’d survived his encounter with Vicious. This time. The first time. Things are a blur and he’s not sure if the second encounter is real or a dream. Sometimes, he feels like he’s floating. Somewhere between life and death.
Others, he feels every ounce of pain and torture he’s inflicted upon his body.
None of it’s real, it’s all just a dream.
I’m watching a dream I’ll never wake up from.
Spike fades in and out of conciosenss in fits. There’s never a set pattern to his waking hours and his sleeping hours. Yet, even when he’s awake it’s like he’s just on the edge of being really concious. Half here, half in a dream state. As Jet watches over his fallen comerade, and dare he say friend, the words spill out of Spike like they never have before.
“....think I did it for Julia; did it for you. Faye. Ed. Hell, even the damned dog. He’d have killed…” Spike’s sentence trails off as sleep claims him once more. Jet’s starring at him as if he’s just now seeing the real Spike Spiegel for the first time.
Suddenly, everything makes more sense.
I’m watching a dream I’ll never wake up from.
All she can see is blue and red. Spike bleeds through his bandages like it’s a scheduled event. He trashes in his sleep and tears his stitches more times than can be healthy. Sometimes, he talks in his sleep, others it seems he’s fully conscious only to drift off and forget the conversation entirely.
“Didn’t do it because I loved Julia; did it because I loved you.” His words are barely a mumble, but Faye’s heard them as if he’d shouted them from the rooftops.
“What?” Faye knows she can’t have heard him right. Even if she did, it was probably just the pain pills talking. There’s no way he said that and meant it.
“Love you, Romani.” Oh. Oh. He definitely knew who he was talking to then.
“Love you too, Gadjo.” She says it because they’re still not sure if he’s going to live. Besides, Faye knows he won’t remember this conversation when he wakes up.
If he wakes up.
I’m watching a dream I’ll never wake up from.
The fever hits Spike’s body on day five. They thought he was turning a corner and Faye wakes to Spike sweating like his life depends on it.
“Get him in the shower.” If her voice quavers, no one mentions it as Jet hauls Spike up and thrusts him into the tub before cutting on the cold water.
“I need ice. As much as you can get.” If there’s a thread of fear in Jet’s voice, Faye does him the favor of not mentioning it. When they run out of ice on the Bebop, Faye darts into town, returning with ten bags that all get unceremoniously dumped into the tub with Spike’s shivering form.
It takes an hour for his fever to break, and Faye’s bitten her nails to the quick. He babbles the entire time. About Faye. Julia. Annie and even Vicious at several times.
It’s unnerving and Faye prays Jet doesn’t hear what Spike’s said about her. His current mantra of ‘I love you’ echoing through the tile walls of the bathroom astoundingly loud.
“What was that about?” Jet’s standing behind her, near the kitchen, ready to start a semblance of dinner.
“He’s feverish. Thinks I’m Julia.” It’s a lie, and one Jet doesn’t look like he’s buying anytime soon. But the older man thankfully lets the topic go.
I’m watching a dream I’ll never wake up from.
When the fever breaks, it seems Spike takes a turn for the better with it. Faye’s currently settled on the couch, his head on her lap as she runs her fingers through his hair.
“How long have I been out?” His voice is weak, and Faye instantly reaches for the glass of water they’ve left on the coffee table for just this reason.
“You drink. I talk.” Spike drains half the glass before Faye sets it down again. Running her hands through his hair once more, a touchstone and comfort for her as much as him, Faye sighs before she speaks.
“It’s been a little over a week. Ten days I think.” Spike tries to speak, and then thinks better of it/ Resting his head back in Faye’s lap, he lets his eyes close.
Sleep claims him once again.
I’m watching a dream I’ll never wake up from.
Spike nudges her awake hours later. Faye hadn’t realized she’d fallen asleep until Spike was waking her. Blinking sleep from her eyes, she turns to face him, surprise on her face at how dark the living room was. A raised eyebrow in question has Spike chuckling.
“Jet and I had dinner. He and Ed passed out about an hour ago.” Faye yawns as she sits upright, her back popping in protest.
“Did you guys save me anything?” Nine times out of ten, they didn’t bother unless that person was too injured to make it to the living room. Every man for themselves, and all that.
“Yeah, Jet said you’ve been running yourself ragged taking care of me.” Spike nudges a plate towards her and Faye rips off the cellophane, surprised to find the plate still warm.
“Well, someone had to look after you. Lunkhead.” The insult doesn’t hold it’s usual weight; but seeing someone nearly die will do that.
“I wasn’t so out of it that I forgot what I told you, Faye.” Faye’s breath caught in her throat as she shakily reached for her pack of cigarettes. When Spike’s hand covered the pack before he pulled one out and lit it, Faye glared. She watched him inhale and blow out a smoke ring before he handed the cigarette to her.
“I went after Vicious to protect the Bebop. Not to avenge Julia. Granted, I was probably avenging Annie but Annie and Mao were the closest thing I had to parents. Regardless, love you, Romani. Probably should have told you before I went on my kamikaze mission but what’s done is done.” The finger holding her cigarette shook as her free hand reached for his.
When their fingers interlaced and Spike squeezed her hand, she knew.
Spike had finally woken from his dream.