Work Text:
The sun was nearly set. It had dipped below the horizon, so that all that was left was a deep orange glow on the western edge of the sky. Sam zipped up her coat a little higher, right up to her chin, feeling the already chilled winter day get even chillier. Her hands were starting to get cold, but she kept heating packs in her pockets to warm them periodically, making it easier to get her task done. Fortunately, it wasn’t a difficult one. The telescope was easy to pull out of its case and set up on the tripod. Some tilting and adjusting of the lens, and it was ready to go.
Sam checked her watch. Almost moonrise. She tilted her head back and took in the rapidly darkening sky. Each breath she let out was a brief puff of white in the air, and she enjoyed watching the mini clouds come and go. An ephemeral mark on the planet - the warm, moist air from her lungs, appearing and dispersing equally as rapidly. Sam was feeling maudlin - she supposed it was to be expected, due to the circumstances - and she found herself dwelling on the idea of impermanence. That despite no matter what you do, or even the contributions you have to the planet (or hell, the galaxy), eventually you will fade away, like a puff of warm breath in the winter air.
She shook her head at herself and checked the sky. The moon was peeking over the horizon. It was a full moon; or maybe nearly full. It would make for good viewing. She sat on a (rather cold) chair and tried not to let her thoughts wander back to the previously dark place they’d gone. Sam was distracting herself by reciting digits of pi in her mind and it was due to that that she didn’t hear the approaching footsteps coming around the side of the house, crunching in the snow.
“Knock knock,” called out a voice from behind her. Sam yelled and jumped up while simultaneously spinning around, nearly falling over in the process. Fortunately, it was a familiar face.
“Cam?!” Sam shouted, clutching her hand over her heart. “Jesus, you scared the hell outta me.”
Cam held up his hands in a conciliatory way. “Sorry. There was no answer at the front door, and you weren’t answering your phone.”
Sam rolled her eyes a little. “That’s because I turned it off. What are you doing here?”
“I didn’t see you on the base today, and when I heard you took a personal day, I got worried,” he replied.
“So you came over to my house unannounced?” Sam asked, although she couldn’t really muster up the tone of annoyance she knew she should feel. It felt a little nice that someone noticed she was gone.
“Yeah. In retrospect, probably a little intrusive,” Cam offered a lopsided grin by way of apology. He took in her telescope setup, wiggling a finger at it. “Doing a little stargazing?”
Sam shifted from one foot to another in a tell-tale I don’t want to talk about it kind of way. “Yep,” she replied. “Anyway, thanks for stopping by Cam. But I’m fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Cam nodded suspiciously. “Fine? Spin me another one, Sam. What’s going on?”
“Why does something have to be going on? Can’t a girl just take a day off to look at the moon?” Sam turned away from him, looking up to the sky. The moon was higher now, and extremely bright. No other stars were visible anywhere near it, their light blotted out entirely.
Cam followed her gaze, taking in the heavenly object as well. “You’re right. What was I thinking? Completely logical reason to take a day off in the middle of dealing with the Ori.”
Sam shrugged and avoided looking at him. Why did he have to be so persistent? She heard him moving, and then he was beside her. “The Ori will still be there tomorrow,” she muttered.
“I’m not leaving ‘til you tell me what’s up,” Cam said quietly, tilting his head towards her as he spoke. “I’ve known you a long time, Samantha Carter, and I know when something’s off.”
Sam sighed. That much was true. She gave up trying to shake him off; Cam was like a mosquito buzzing your ear when you’re trying to sleep. It was hopeless. But instead of answering him, she leaned down to the telescope and looked through it. It was an extremely powerful telescope, as far as home telescopes go, so she was able to see great detail on the surface - craters, seas, valleys and plains. She scanned the surface of the moon until she found the first feature she was looking for.
“Mare Frigoris,” Sam said, still looking through the eyepiece, an edge of awe to her voice. It was incredible to see, every time she looked at it.
“What?” Cam asked, moving to stand beside her.
“The Sea of Cold,” Sam clarified, standing up to look at Cam. She gestured at the eyepiece and stood back. “Take a look.”
Cam leaned down, squinting one eye and peering through the telescope with the other one. “I.. I see moon.”
“Do you see the dark grey area across the middle? Almost like a stripe.”
“Yeah,” he said, looking intently. “Yeah, I see what you mean.”
“That’s the Sea of Cold,” Sam said, and grinned, finding it suddenly amusing. “Fitting, considering the weather.”
“I suppose it is,” Cam said, his tone confused, but indulgent.
“That was his favorite sea.”
Cam stilled, realization washing over him. He stood up and watched Sam, who was staring at the moon and avoiding his gaze. “Your father’s?” he asked delicately.
Sam blinked against the sudden sting of tears in her eyes and nodded. “It was my favorite thing to do with him, when I was a kid. We’d sit outside half the night and look at the moon. He got me this giant poster once. It was a map, really, a map of the moon. I’d pick something from the poster I wanted to look at, and then we’d find it.”
“Sam, you don’t have to…” he trailed off.
She smiled at him briefly, and wiped at the wetness around her eyes. “Today’s the anniversary of his death. I can’t believe he’s been gone a whole year.”
Cam pulled her into a hug, holding onto her tightly. Sam tucked her head against his shoulder, her breath hitching. “I’m sorry,” he said softly as she quietly cried, her tears not the raw pain of fresh grief, but well worn, sharp edges smoothed down by time. They stood there for a minute, hugging in the cold, until Sam’s breaths stopped being shuddery. Eventually Sam pulled away, her eyes red rimmed, but bright in the moonlight.
“I miss him,” she said simply.
“I know,” Cam replied. He gestured at the telescope. “You, uh, got any other cool seas you wanna show me?”
Sam laughed and rubbed at her cold nose, wet with her own tears. “They’re all cool.”
“Well, let’s see another one!”
Sam smiled at Cam, an unspoken thank you in her eyes. “I’ll find something fun. Maybe a crater.”
“You know me, I love a good crater,” Cam joked, elbowing Sam amicably.
“I’ll look for Little West crater,” she said, peering into the telescope again. “It’s where the first astronauts landed. It’s kinda small, but maybe we’ll get lucky…” Sam trailed off as she hunted for the crater, the air cold in her lungs, but feeling the warmth of Cam standing nearby, reminding her that while her future might be at risk of impermanence, at least in this moment, she was more solid than a warm breath of air.