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The soft pitter patter of bare feet on wooden floorboards roused Soonyoung from his peaceful slumber. The sound drew the dancer's conscious back to the present; the thin pillow beneath his cheek, the scratchy blanket slung over his waist and the humid smell of rain drifting in from the open window. His door clicked shut a moment later; nearly inaudible over the sound of his own breathing yet painfully loud in the silence of the room.
Maybe he'd dreamt it- woken up not because of the sound of another person in his room but because of a full bladder; something he could solve with a quick trip to the bathroom, feet freezing on the cold floor and skin cooling as he scrambled to finish his business and slip back into the warm haven of his bed. The prospect of even leaving his bed in the first place wasn't one he really wanted to consider in his half-asleep state; they'd left the air conditioning on and the windows open in the dorm the night before to air out the heat and they hadn't expected the rain, nor the chill it brought with it. But at least after finishing his business he could go back to sleep, scavenge a few more hours of shut-eye before he was thrown into another day slaving away in the recording studio, listening to Jihoon nag him about his singing.
If it was the sound of a bandmate, on the other hand...
There wasn't the slightest chance of going back to sleep for at least the next half hour, and most likely not alone when he did. He never had the heart to turn them away though, not when they slipped into his room under the cover of darkness and the silence brought on by all of the other members slumber, hesitantly inquiring if he was already asleep. Even if he were asleep up until that point, even if it was their whispered words that had woken him up- he always lied. If he told them the truth, they'd apologize and insist on leaving despite his reassurances that he didn't mind.
He didn't particularly enjoy being woken up at odd hours, or having to give up his alone time to someone else, or being sleep deprived the next day during dance practice, but he knew that they came to him because they trusted him.
He listened, he let them vent about whatever was weighing them down and he didn't judge- a few didn't even bother talking, but slipped under the covers beside him without a word of explanation. He hadn't turned any of them down, not when Lee Chan felt overwhelmed and needed someone to reassure him, or when Seungcheol needed to unload his burdens. Not when Wonwoo felt lonely and wanted a warm body beside him, or the many times Jihoon had felt bad for snapping at him during recordings.
He wasn't in the mood for Jihoon's whispered apologies, always so quiet and sincere and always accompanied with soft fingers threading through Soonyoung's hair until he was too tired to refuse the vocalist's apology. He was too tired to think of reassuring words to sooth Lee Chan's nerves, his body too sore to even consider sitting up and devoting his whole attention to listen to one of the other boy's rants, his eyelids too heavy to bear prying open.
He just wanted to sleep for once, get more than four hours of shut-eye before having to get up and cover the bags beneath his eyes.
"Hyung?"
The word was spoken softly, barely audible over the lull of the rain outside. Its youth surprised Soonyoung enough to drag him the rest of the way out of slumber, enough to make him forget about the potential hours of lost sleep and guaranteed fatigue in the morning.
He blinked heavily-lidded eyes open, taking a moment to focus on the shadow lingering by the edge of his bed before registering who it was. Silence rung loudly as murky confusion gave way to drowsy surprise, eyebrows furrowing as he propped himself up with an elbow. His voice was thick with sleep when he finally answered, gaze narrowing in the attempt to make out details within the darkness. "Samuel-ah?"
It wouldn’t be the first time that the youngest had sought him out; Samuel was affectionate with his hyungs, but he’d always reached for Soonyoung when he needed something more than games. Soonyoung, despite complaints from the other boys, favored the young boy over the rest of the members. He hadn’t complained the first time that Samuel had slipped into his room, hesitantly asking if he could sleep with the older boy because he missed his family. He hadn’t been uncomfortable when Samuel more often than not found his way into Soonyoung’s bed, first with mumbled excuses and later, when he realized that he didn’t need a reason to curl up with Soonyoung, simply slipping under the covers and slotting himself into Soonyoung’s side. Soonyoung hadn’t turned the younger boy’s sought-out affection away, not even while in front of the other members. He’d made certain that Samuel knew he could turn to Soonyoung for anything, no matter what time it was- the dead of night being no exception.
Samuel had many hyungs, all that loved the boy dearly, but Samuel was Soonyoung’s dongsaeng. Samuel sought Soonyoung out, favored him, and Soonyoung couldn’t help but feeling that, above the other members, Samuel was his little brother, his to look after.
He’d always wanted to have a little brother that relied on him. One that didn’t mind cuddling and letting him help them with their problems, let him care without judging him feminine for his concerns.
"I had a nightmare, hyung." Soonyoung could hear the hesitance in Samuel’s voice, the boy in question's fingers picking at the loose strings fraying from the edges of Soonyoung's blanket before he stepped closer, figure illuminated by the light thrown off by Soonyoung’s alarm clock. Long lashes hooded downcast eyes, cheeks painted a soft pink in embarrassment as the boy dared to glance his hyung, lips trembling with barely contained emotion. “I can’t sleep.”
Concern flashed through Soonyoung at the vulnerable look on Samuel’s face but he kept it hidden, not wanting to frighten the other boy further. A glance at the glowing fluorescent numbers on his bedside table had Soonyoung resisting the urge to yawn, instead rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he attempted to group his thoughts together.
2:00.
It really was too early for anyone to be awake- especially since they’d gone to bed only two hours ago. But the hesitance in the younger boy, the paleness of his skin and the tinge of his cheeks, the eyes wide in residual fear and the pleading look on his face- Soonyoung couldn’t turn the boy away. The thought didn’t even occur to him as he shuffled over, making room for his dongsaeng.
He was used to Samuel coming because he was cold, or lonely, or upset- but he’d never seen the boy so hesitant before, and it put him on edge. What nightmare have possibly happened within the two hours since Soonyoung had bid the smiling boy good night to disturb him so much?
"A nightmare, huh?" Soonyoung’s voice was soft as he rolled onto his side to face the boy and pulled back the edge of his blanket, patting the spot next to him. A shiver ran through his body at the breeze that met his skin, chasing away the lingering traces of sleep, but he ignored his discomfort and waited patiently for the boy to slip in. Asking the younger boy what had upset him so much seemed almost insensitive- maybe it was too early, maybe Samuel didn’t want to talk about it– but he'd always trusted Soonyoung.
“What was it about?”
As if he’d been waiting, Samuel crawled onto the bed, all hesitation gone, and slipped under the blanket. He quickly drew the covers up to his chin, cutting off the breeze of cool air and sealing in their body heat. Cold feet pressed into Soonyoung’s calf as the younger boy pressed against him, slotting himself into Soonyoung’s chest and curling his fingers into the front of the older boy’s shirt; holding on as if he were scared that Soonyoung would disappear if he let go.
The younger boy sighed softly as he settled, pressing his forehead against Soonyoung’s collar bone, body trembling with the aftershock of whatever horror he’d witnessed in his dreams.
"I dreamt that you and Chan-hyung were kicked out of the program." Samuel mumbled into Soonyoung’s neck, dark haired head nuzzling its way under the older boy’s chin. The whine in his voice didn’t escape Soonyoung’s notice. “You left me.”
“Samuel-ah...” His hand wandered to Samuel’s hair, threading fingers through the soft strands in a soothing motion as his other hand rubbed reassuring circles on the younger boy’s back. Samuel’s words stuck in his mind, swirling around as he contemplated them- the younger boy’d been terrified by the thought of him leaving. He knew he should feel bad, want to comfort the younger boy and reassure him that he wasn’t going to leave him, but a fuzzy warmth spread through him instead.
Samuel cared so much about him that losing Soonyoung terrified the boy. It was cute, that his dongsaeng loved him so much.
Soonyoung cooed softly, pulling the trembling boy closer and resting his chin on top of Samuel’s head. “I won’t leave you.”
Silence followed Soonyoung’s words, Samuel’s fingers tugging on the neckline of his muscle shirt the only response that he got. What felt like minutes passed without an answer from the younger boy, other than the soft breath against Soonyoung’s throat, the fingers clinging to his shirt and the beat of Samuel’s heart against his chest. Cold feet pressed their way between Soonyoung’s shins, seeking warmth and sending chills up Soonyoung spine, yet he didn’t dare move in fear of upsetting the younger boy.
He began to worry that he’d said the wrong thing, that the silence was Samuel’s disappointment and maybe he should have pushed the younger boy away in order to look him in the face and reassure him that he wouldn’t leave- but Samuel shifted against him and cleared his throat, voice coming out quiet and scratchy.
“Would you sing me to sleep, Hyung?”
Soonyoung’s eyes widened in surprise, breath catching softly. He wasn’t the best vocal in the band- not even close. He wasn’t embarrassed by his singing, just aware that he… wasn’t as good as the others. He didn’t have the nicest voice; he couldn’t go as high as some of the other boys, and he couldn’t rap as well. Sometimes it took days of practicing the same line before Jihoon deemed his recording good enough to publish, and that was during a good week.
His specialty was dancing- something that he did well, that he’d do for Samuel anytime- not singing. There were better vocalists in the band that Samuel could have gone to if he’d wanted a lullaby. Yet there he was, asking Sounyoung to sing to him.
The older boy wasn’t sure whether he should feel proud or embarrassed by Samuel’s request, considering the very real possibility of embarrassing himself or not singing well enough for the boy’s liking.
"Jihoon-ah is a better singer than I am."
Samuel’s fingers tightened their hold on Soonyoung’s shirt, voice tight with stubbornness. "I don't want Jihoon-hyung."
Another rush of warm fondness chased away Soonyoung’s insecurities, prompting him to press his lips to the crown of the younger boy’s head before resting his chin on top of Samuel’s head and letting his eyes slip shut as he began singing. He sung one of the lullabies his mother had sung to him when he’d been young, voice steadier than it had ever been as it blended with the soft pitter patter lull of the rain and the sound of the wind brushing against the wall.
By the end of the song, Soonyoung could hear Samuel’s breath- feel that it had evened out, had felt, throughout the song, as the boy’s body relaxed in his arms and his conscious drifted into the realm of dreams. He was hesitant to open his eyes himself- wanting nothing more than to slip into sleep with Samuel and let his mind rest.
A pause, before Soonyoung’s lips drew up in a fond smile, fingers brushing back rogue strands of hair from the younger boy’s forehead before he withdrew his hand, dropping his arm around Samuel’s waist.
Sometimes Soonyoung forgot just how young the other boy was, surrounded by cameras and strict schedules and expectations. Samuel was talented, he deserved to be there with the rest of them, but he was only twelve- he should have been in school, hanging out with friends and worrying over grades– not following a rigorous schedule and letting noonas apply makeup on him.
But he was glad that the boy chose to be there with them, instead of with the other children his age. Their group wouldn’t be the same without their youngest; wouldn’t be as full of energy, or affection, or love. Samuel worried about Soonyoung being dropped, but the group would get along without him. They had more than one choreographer, and the company probably had more lined up in case of an emergency.
But it wouldn’t feel right without Samuel.
“Good night, Samuel.”