Work Text:
Right here, right now. This, is where I live and breathe.
20th of Blue Sea Moon, 1183
"Have you been to Derdriu before?"
The way back to Leicester was uneventful and grueling.
They marched on foot back through Blaiddyd and Fraldarius to the shore, stopping by to buy food and supplies from the Faerghan locals, and if they refused, they flashed weapons to convince them. The look of contempt as they took the meager changes was unmistakable and expected.
Byleth took the food she could and ate next to Shez.
The king was busy discussing the next move with his generals; people whose loyalties belonged to the Federation, not wandering mercenaries. Something about treaties and meetings. Shez said he just wanted his payment. Byleth nodded and said she felt the same.
Nobody seemed to remember the events at Garreg Mach— of Shez suddenly losing control of his body, of the disappearance and reappearance of the three nation's leaders alongside him.
Shez himself had moved on from it surprisingly easily. Byleth decided to not bring it back up.
She liked it better when he wasn't worried.
"I've been to towns nearby. Never to the capital."
Shez tapped his fingers against the ship's railing.
"It's a nice city," he said. "I ended up getting pretty familiar with the place."
"Because the king neglected you for two years."
A snort.
"I guess. I'd be lying if I said money wasn't tight because I couldn't find a job. But the past year more than made up for that."
Byleth looked up at the billowing sails, then out at the waters.
"If you say so."
The sea was remarkably calm today.
Shez stood close enough that she could see purple and vermilion out of the corner of her eyes even when she faced ahead.
"Say, how about we take a look around the city while Claude and others get the paperwork sorted out? It'll be a nice change of pace."
While Claude and others got the paperwork sorted out. Shez always took time of the day to do chores for that king and his friends as they asked; did this mean he wouldn't do that for a while?
So it would just be the two of them strolling Derdriu.
Byleth liked that idea.
"Sure," she said. "Let's do that."
She liked that idea a lot.
23rd of Blue Sea Moon, 1183
Shez had a bedroom to himself in the ducal palace. It was nice and spacious and felt even bigger than it really was because of the emptiness.
"Gotta keep my belongings light to move from place to place," he said, plopping down on the edge of the bed. "A lot of stuff isn't worth the hassle of carrying around by myself."
Perhaps he owned more things back when he belonged to a band.
They sat at the edge of the bed side by side. The building had good soundproofing; Byleth could hear him breathe.
"Will you stay here," she asked.
A grand feast was scheduled tomorrow, to celebrate their return and the king's birthday. Everyone in the army, including the mercenaries were asked to attend; the food here was good, Shez reassured her, much better than what they had in Faerghus.
She'd attend. Food was food.
Even if she didn't like seeing Shez hang around the king.
"Depends," was his reply. "If Claude decides to renew our contract for a good fee, then I guess it would be stupid not to. Otherwise..."
Byleth sat down next to him.
"I'm just not the type to stay in one place for long," he said. "The wandering merc life suits me."
Pause.
"You said you're from Ordelia," she said.
"That's where my mom raised me, yep."
"Have you considered going back."
Shez flopped back onto the mattress.
"Would be lying to say I haven't thought about it," he said. "And now I can ask Lysithea for help finding the village again."
Legs kicking.
"But it won't be the same even if I do go back, you know? Mom's gone, and..."
Byleth laid back, too. She thought the speckles in the ceiling looked like stars.
The edge of Shez's hand brushed against her own, as a result of haphazard placement on both of their parts. She didn't pull away; another person's bare skin felt nice.
He stopped kicking his feet and exhaled. Byleth turned her head to the side.
"It wouldn't be home without her," he muttered. "Not really."
25th of Blue Sea Moon, 1183
The Riegan estate was dead quiet at the break of dawn, save for the chirps of morning birds. In the hallways, unconscious soldiers and generals were strewn about; one would have thought a battle had occured the night before, if not for the stench of alcohol and lack of blood.
Jeralt had retreated to the guest bedroom some hours ago, saying he "couldn't keep up with the youngsters anymore." Byleth dozed and woke several times before the sun rose, dreaming of odd memories she hadn't lived.
She approached the main banquet hall with held breath and silent steps. The king was passed out in a corner with a few of his friends.
She looked around and under the table for Shez. Nothing.
The adjacent chambers. Nothing.
The garden. Nothing, but a captive Faerghan general was busy shaking and sobbing and throwing up into the shrub. Byleth wondered what the king was thinking, letting a prisoner from enemy forces wander about freely like that.
Whatever. As long as he paid for their services, it wasn't her business how shoddily the Federation's operations were run.
She wouldn't stay here for long. Neither would Shez. He may have been on good terms with the king and all those others, but—
Byleth took put the whistle he gave in an emptier section of the garden.
He gave it to her right before the battle at Tailtean. She gave a book on tactics to reciprocate— but that felt inadequate, the more she thought about it.
It made no sense, that he'd promise to come to the aide of someone who killed all of his comrades, and would have killed him too, if not for the sudden switch in employers. Maybe it was a trap.
Shrill call pierced the morning air.
Shez appeared in a flash of shadow, rolling and stumbling in the grass.
A blink.
"You came," she said.
"Yeah," he replied. "You need somethi— ngurgh—"
Shez dashed to the nearest shrub on all fours and threw up.
He coughed and panted, then threw up again. Byleth squatted down next to him, slapping his back as he emptied his stomach.
"Drank too much," she asked, handing him her water bottle.
"Yep," he croaked out.
The lump on his throat bobbed as he gulped it down. Once that was done, he shook his head and lightly slapped his own face.
"Arval used to tell me when to stop," he said. "Guess I lose track without them. Especially when I don't have to pay for the tabs."
He let out a little chortle at his own joke and drank more water.
Then he fell back onto the grass and sighed.
The sky began to turn a lighter shade of blue; the yellowish sunlight made parts of it look green.
"Do you miss them," she asked, quietly.
"Arval?"
"Your friends from before, too."
A pondering pause.
"Yeah," he finally admitted. "I guess I do."
Of course he did.
Byleth thought.
"Once we're free from this job," she began, "we can have a rematch."
Shez blinked.
"Huh? Why?"
"You never got settle your score with me. Not on your terms, at least."
Another pause.
"If you kill me then," she said. "that's a fair death."
A frown.
"Killing you won't bring them back."
No, it wouldn't.
"It might make you feel better," she said.
Shez turned his head, opened his mouth, then closed it.
He balled his hand into a fist against the grass.
"Maybe it would have before," he admitted. "But now..."
He leaned back, looking up at the sky.
"Woah,"
Then he collapsed into the grass.
Byleth scooped his limp body up and turned towards the building.
"Whatareyoudoing," Shez squeaked, as she began to walk.
"Getting you back to your room," she replied. "Rest up. You said you'd take me on a trip around the city tomorrow."
He looked away. His ears were reddish. He really must have drank a lot, she thought.
"Yeah," he said. "I will."
26th of Blue Sea Moon, 1183
They set off as soon as they received the first portion of their payment from the king.
The sky was as blue as could be, while sea breeze kept the air pleasantly cool even in the middle of summer. Shez pointed to the alley with food stalls lined up.
"The chickpea fritters are delicious, especially for the price. You have to try it," he said. "Oh, and Lysithea told me the cannoli from that one's real good, too."
He listed off all the places his— friends, had recommended, eyes sparkling. Wineries from Lorenz, butcher's shops from Raphael, weapon shops from Leonie, souvenir and accessory shops from Ignatz and Hilda. Apparently even the quiet girl, Marianne, had suggested that they visit the cathedral, the oldest in Leicester.
As for the king— aside from the money, he'd handed Shez a gold token, engraved with a deer, that would let them into places commoners usually couldn't enter. Not as part of the payment or anything, just a personal gift, alongside a fancy foreign sword and a hug and a pat on the back.
"Ready to go?" came Shez's voice.
They had all day together, Byleth reminded herself. And she'd purposefully eaten a light breakfast to try out all the food.
She'd make this a good day.
"Yes," she said. "Let's."
The cannoli was good, as were the chickpea fritters and scartosso. The accessory shop they tried to walk into didn't allow food inside, so they stopped by a bàcaro right next to it to finish eating— then ordered some drinks and cicchetti afterwards and ate that, too.
In the shop, they both stared blankly at the lineup of ornate hairpins and necklaces and bracelets.
Shez looked at her.
"You want anything?" he asked.
"I can't wear those in battle," she replied. "Do you want anything."
"Not like I'll be wearing stuff like that, either. And— sweet Seiros, look at the bloody price."
Byleth glanced at the price tag. The cheapest one was worth a typical mission's worth of gold.
Shez had a cringing grimace on his face. They scurried over to the humbler displays.
She nearly paused to look at the rings.
"Now that's a more reasonable price," Shez sighed, looking at the selection of wooden beads. "Hey, maybe you can use those to decorate..."
Byleth took out the whistle on the simple leather cord.
"Yeah," he said. "That. I thought it looked a little plain when I gave it to you, but, you know."
Not much time to decorate right before a big battle.
He probably could have waited until it was over to give it to her. But the fact he did it beforehand—
Byleth took two purple beads and two vermilion beads. She held the purple ones to check that they were similar to Shez's hair.
"Only those?"
"I'll take suggestions."
"Well, I'm not good at this stuff, but."
He picked out two beads in light emerald, two in light blue. He held up the blue ones.
"I think they used to be pretty close to this," he said. "Your eyes, I mean."
Before that girl— the goddess— woke up and imbued her with odd powers.
Sothis hadn't spoken in a while, Byleth realized. Not since the incident at Garreg Mach. But her hair and eyes were still green, and her powers were still present. It must've been similar for Shez, as he could use his powers, despite the being in his head disappearing.
He only glowed that shade of red during battles, though. Much less conspicuous than herself.
"Do you think it's weird," she asked.
"What's weird?"
She pointed at her hair.
"This."
Shez shrugged.
"Unusual, I guess. But it suits you."
That was a relief.
They picked out four additional beads, two with carvings of lotuses and two with spider lilies.
"Are you two a couple?" the merchant asked. "You can get a special discount— or one of our mystery bags!"
Shez's eyes widened.
"Uh, well—"
"Yes," Byleth said. "Mystery bag, please."
They walked out of the store with a small fabric pouch. Shez cleared his throat several times.
The town square was nearby, so they went ahead and sat down at the edge of the water fountain.
Byleth opened up the pouch. Inside was a red fabric hibiscus hairpin, sun-shielding glasses, and some simple bracelets. She held up the hibiscus to Shez's hair.
"I don't think my hair's long enough to wear that," he said. "Here, let me..."
He took the hairpin, fixed it on the side of her head, and gave a thumbs up.
"Looks good."
Byleth took the shades and opened it up. It was a little wide for her own head. She tucked it on Shez.
"Looks good," she said, also giving a thumbs up, and Shez grinned a big silly grin.
As for the bracelets, Byleth took the white and pink ribbons, while Shez took the one with beads. He helped her adjust the length and vice versa; for some reason, she held her breath the whole time.
People came and went across the piazza with blue sky and the tinkles of water as backdrop. Soon, a crowd began to gather around the statues of the Alliance founders nearby; a bard was getting ready to sing and tell stories.
Byleth thought she should ask Shez if he wanted to go listen, but her head and eyelids felt very heavy.
She stopped herself from falling forward at the last minute.
"Are you tired?" Shez asked.
Opening her mouth yielded a yawn before an answer.
"Ate too much," she muttered, feeling herself tip over sideways. "A small nap... should do..."
Shez chortled and shifted around. Her head landed on something covered in fabric, firm but with just enough give to act as a great pillow.
"I'll wake you up if my legs start falling asleep," he joked. "Sleep well."
So she did.
It was past noon when Shez shook her awake.
They wandered around the streets some more, through spots they have and haven't already been to, then borrowed a gondola with the token the king gave to weave through the canals.
The landmarks they passed along were nothing new— but sitting and floating by (Shez used his powers to propel the boat) instead of walking made it feel different.
It really was a beautiful city, Byleth had to admit.
In some other life, maybe she would've wanted to live here.
"So," came Shez's voice, breaking her out of the thought. "There's this fishing spot in the city that's only accessible by boat."
Byleth looked.
"Really."
"Yeah, and there's a camping ground nearby to cook and eat at, too. I thought it would be a nice play to have dinner. One problem, though."
Shez squinted at the map, then flipped it to show her.
"I don't know how to get there."
Byleth took the map.
"Do you know where we are right now," she asked.
"Nope," he replied.
She looked around.
"Which direction did we come from."
"No idea."
She examined the map, trying to figure out where they could be based on the symbols. It was made to be usable commoners who couldn't read, so it lacked writing.
She stared it for a few minutes, before turning it 90 degrees.
"I'll navigate from here on," she declared. "Follow exactly where I'm pointing."
Laughter.
"You got it, captain."
Shez wasn't good at fishing, it turned out.
He reeled in too early, too fast, and after missing about five times, he went up to the keeper and asked if he could go into the water and spearfish instead.
The answer was no, but he did catch a seagull with his bare hands while Byleth reeled up a large trout. They made quick work of both at the camping ground and roasted it over the fire.
For some reason, most of the people around them had all moved away by the time they finished cooking.
"Let's eat while it's fresh."
The flavor wasn't anything to write home about, at least compared to the food from the morning. Their band ate like this when there weren't any inns or taverns nearby, or when they couldn't afford it.
But it was warm and it filled her stomach and Shez was there.
He'd been there with her the entire day. Starting in the morning, but it was evening now, even though the sun was still up.
Time had passed. Forward and unfairly fast, instead of the indistinct haze it always was.
Time headed towards a goodbye.
"I'm full," he sighed. "Might be a while before I can eat as well as I did today."
"Same here."
A long silence. The campfire still crackled.
"Any other places you want to visit?" Shez asked. "We've still got a few hours before sunset."
Lots, she thought. None.
Anywhere, as long as they spent more time together.
Byleth stood up and poured water over the flames. They went out with a fizz, and she crushed it underfoot, just to make sure.
"The beach," she said. "I want to look at the sea."
They walked along the shore with shoes in their hands. The white sand was soft— too soft to walk comfortably with her heels sinking into them.
Seagulls cried, waves crashed, and the sky turned purple and vermillion.
"Look at that horizon, huh," Shez said, softly. "It's like it stretches on forever."
A nod.
"Maybe that's where souls go after they die. I heard that from my mom, although... I don't know where she heard that from."
They veered closer to the sea, where waves lapped at their ankles. Byleth squirmed her toes in wet sand.
Shez splashed some water at her. She splashed back. They did it back and forth a few times.
"I told that to others at the band, too. We promised we'd come to a beach like this one day. Since the southern Alliance's shores are all rocky."
He blinked a few times, then scratched his head.
"At least I'm here," he said, looking towards the horizon. "That's got to count for something."
Byleth looked ahead, too.
How many people had she sent over there, she wondered. How many people she fought alongside were over there.
How many more would cross, if the war didn't end. How many she could and couldn't stop.
But more than that—
"I wonder if it'll have meant anything when my time comes," Shez wondered. "Will I sink into the waves without a trace, or... become a star up there, next to the goddess, like the Seiros people say."
The waves went back and forth, back and forth. Seagulls flew at just the right angle to temporarily obscure the setting sun.
Shez shook his head, like he just woke up.
"Sorry," he said, looking at her. "Didn't mean to be a downer. Do you know how to swim?"
"Pretty well," Byleth replied.
Shez squinted at the waters, then pointed to a boulder some distance out.
"How about we settle our score," he said, "with a race to that rock and back."
"My score will be higher, then," she stated, throwing her shoes behind.
"Oh, it's on," he said, following suite.
They stretched, swinging their arms back and forth, then kneeled.
"Ready... set... go!"
Shez dove into the sand in a dark flash and shot forward.
Byleth didn't bother calling it out as cheating— because right after he popped back up to touch the boulder and turned around, he veered completely off course, dashing diagonally.
She leisurely swam to the boulder and back. The shadow zapped back and forth in what was about waist-level water.
She waded back in, and Shez finally came up, soaking wet and out of breath.
"R-rematch," he panted. "I won't cheat this time, okay. One more— owow."
The saltwater must've gotten in his right eye. Byleth brushed the bangs to the side, adjusted the shades, and poked his cheek.
"On one condition."
"What?"
She stared at his face, at both of his eyes. Was it just the sunset, or was his face red?
Leaning forward for a hug, amidst the saltwater covering them from head to toe, felt as natural as could be.
"Stay with me," she said. "Whatever happens. However long we live. On and off the battlefield."
A hitched breath.
"Let's see this through the end. On the behalf of everyone who didn't. And for us."
For every life that went down in history as numbers, for every life that could never have grand ambitions, for every cheap life that kings and fires burned on and left behind ashes of.
For any two people who could have been them.
"I want the next time you see the coast to be with me, too," she stated, through gritted teeth, even though she was probably happy right now. "And when you cross—"
Byleth squeezed harder.
"I'll be with you. Bottom of the ocean or the top of the sky."
Shez held her back, first softly.
Then tighter and tighter, like onto his very life—
"Then it'll have meant something," she whispered. "Right?"
—and there was a single heaving sob, weighing every battle fought.
He buried his face into her shoulders.
"Yeah," he gasped. "It will."
Was I right to go down this path? I can't say.
But I see a glimmer of hope at the end of it.
And that's more than enough to forge on.