Archive of Our Own

Two words.

School. Dance.

Two words that Josuke Higashikata had never thought he could dread so much. Two words that could strike great fear in any delinquent's heart. That was where it had started. With an extremely rushed school dance that was announced a measly one week before it would happen, with big chances of just as big messes to come.

And Josuke had been expecting those messes, in a way. The moment they announced that the school dance would be one of those - as in, one of those that you either went to with some company or didn’t go to at all - he knew. Here it would come, and all he could do was brace himself for it.

After only the first day, so many girls had already asked him to be their chosen one. And they'd asked nicely, politely, shyly, or they'd begged and screamed, and for each and every one of them, his answer had been a similar one. He felt a little scummy for that. A little slimy, even. After all, while he did his best to keep his short compliments sincere and fitting, as the last thing he wanted was to make the poor girls feel even worse, not one of them had actually gotten his actual reasoning. 

No. 

Everytime, it was simply:

One hand behind his head, a smile, and it was always a little awkward, but he kept his cool. And then he would open up his mouth, and say his piece.

“Awww, you seem really ____, but I gotta say no because _____ “(5 pts)

a) cool / I'm actually grounded for the entire year. 

b) cute / I'm moving away and am becoming an Italian citizen next week.

c) uhh / I'm actually a clone made out of wood, you got the wrong guy.

d) creepy (please leave me alone) / I'm getting a restraining order, ^_^ sorry!

And everytime he chose one option and moved on, he thought, and wondered about, and dared to consider the one he actually maybe wanted to say :

e) Well meaning, but you don't actually know anything about me besides me being a handsome guy-delinquent which, aww, thanks, but still, you know  /  I'm a romance kind of guy, and I mean that, and for romance to happen, I gotta know you and you gotta know me! Really, the only way I'd accept your confession would be if we were as close as…

…

Well, my two best friends!

It was getting a bit much. 

Only two days post-announcement, and he'd already lost count of how many confessions he'd gotten. Everytime he opened his locker, pink letters poured out. And during class, some other friends, or curious people - or even the girls themselves - would keep on peeking at them, wondering just who he was going to choose.

It was too much.

Now, despite his whole delinquent bad boy get-up thing, Josuke generally tried his best - and then some - in school. Some subjects got more of his love, but in general, he tried his best. And the trying-his-best package came with things such as not failing, being respectful to the teachers, and, most importantly : not missing too many classes.

As of this second day of the week, also known as a Tuesday, he had already missed three days' worth of his first period in the months prior.

For the first one, Okuyasu had convinced him that he could drive the both of them to school on his new bike. It was hard to think about school and boring classes when sitting behind his friend, however, with his arms wrapped around his waist so he wouldn’t fall off. And it was really hard to care about being late when all Josuke could focus on was Okuyasu, his confident expression as he drove down the road, and just how strong he felt, and just how cool he looked with the wind blowing through his hair. And just how… how when he'd looked back at Josuke, smiling, well, Josuke couldn't remember what they were in such a rush for, anyway.

It was also hard to care when both of them were sent flying once Okuyasu had stopped paying attention to what was in front of him. Later on, he insisted on keeping his broken arm unhealed, that it was part of learning to be a better driver trust me dude , and that having his best bros sign his cast made it all worth it. 

Two days later, he changed his mind, while Josuke’s ankle was still being a little funny. 

Oh well.

The second one was much different. Then, Koichi-kun had offered to help him study for a test that he was definitely not ready for, since he was already lacking after having missed one of the classes. They had spent the day before studying together at the library, and once it had gotten late, Koichi-kun had offered him his home. It was closer, anyway, and the walk there was pleasant and nice, like everything that came with that little dude. And the stay there was just as good, because while studying sucked, Koichi-kun did not. The opposite, even. Seeing him all focused, all dedicated to the task, it made Josuke want to learn. He had never been so determined to get a good score. And of course, they then spent so long studying and enjoying each other's company that they slept in and missed the class and the test. At least, Josuke managed to (literally) cry his way into being allowed a make-up test, and because of that, ended up getting the grade he'd fought so hard for.

The third one was definitely the best. That time, Josuke had randomly felt… anxious. The events of that summer of 1999 had never quite left him, not in body nor mind, as he still had the scars to show for it. And on that day, as he'd left for school, both Okuyasu and Koichi-kun had noticed something was off. And he'd felt no reason not to open up. Unlike the two previous times, Josuke and his two closest friends had gone and missed class on purpose. 

They got some food - never the sandwiches from Gentleman's ever again, ew - and hung out far from all the places where bad or kinda bad or really, really bad things had happened. So, not school, not their homes, not the hospital or the park or the pier or an alley or Tonio’s or–

In the end, they settled for a burger shop that had opened recently. None of them were particularly enticed about their meals, besides some small american cuisine connection to Josuke. But that was what they'd needed.

The only memories they needed were of themselves. And sitting with the two of them, laughing and talking and also venting and crying and sharing some meh burgers in between all that - class be damned, at that point.

It was silly to think about, but really, with the School Dance thing… If he could have a repeat of that day, with preferably less crying, he would be set.

What were the chances of that happening, though?

Either way, here came the fourth time he'd miss class. Technically, he was skipping. Technically he was also just late - a couple minutes - he could make an excuse. His mom would kill him for it.

But he just needed a little time. With him, and himself and I.

Inside his locker, he had a pocket mirror and a better-quality comb, he just needed a second to repose, recompose, and focus.

He opened his locker. Two little notes fell out of it. He closed his locker.

No escape.

He hid his face behind his hands for a moment, picked the notes up, and read their contents :

'Meet me at 4pm after class behind school DONT STAND ME UP!!!!' the first one said in what might as well be chicken scratch,

while the second one, written in a cute cursive, read,

' Please meet me at 4.30pm after class in front of the school, if you can!!'

A and B.

Fun.

He stuffed the notes inside his pockets, and let out one last sigh before rushing back to class.

At encounter A, just as Josuke arrived…

Okuyasu, of all people, pulled him aside. 

And they said hi to each other, and fistbumped and giggled about the school dance, and it was all normal and fine, and Josuke was about to say that he was actually waiting for a girl when-

"Yo… Josuke, there's somethin'... somethin' important I wanted to talk to ya about…"

Just by the way he was talking, Josuke knew. He knew what was coming. 

Okuyasu was a simple guy, and that wasn't an insult nor a compliment - it was just… a fact . And everytime he came up with that small little pout, with one hand behind his head, the whole lost puppy look which was honestly kind of cute-

"It's about you wanting to invite someone to the school dance, isn't it?"

And he nodded, all sheepish, all shy. Totally unlike his whole delinquent, tough guy, so muscle-having he couldn't reach some parts of his back persona. But it was still kind of cute. Josuke would never say such a thing out loud, however, because…

Well. 

Because Okuyasu would never let him live it down. Never let Josuke forget it. And because… it would just be kind of embarrassing to admit. Something like that.

"Soo… Okuyasu, is it about that girl from PE? Did you go up to her like I told you to?"

"Ehhhh, well, I was too busy thinking about other stuff. And it ain’t about her, y’know?” 

And his little pout grew more.

"... Oh, so the girl from math class? Did you ask her for help on your homework like I also told you to?"

And Okuyasu's pout grew even more. And he joined the tips of his pointer fingers together, looking off to the side. It made Josuke stare for a few seconds. It made him try to understand what he'd even meant with a signal like that.

"No, bro. It's not about her either."

"....... If you mean the girl you saw on TV while we were hanging out, um, bro, I don't think-"

"N-No, not her either!"

N-No? That stumble was just too much. 

A bit too much. Like a beautiful suit with too many gold details that, when put together, just muddied and blurred and looked super tacky. Except Okuyasu wasn't a tacky suit. 

He was…

… What was he doing? 

… Well, no, Josuke could see, clear as day, what he was trying to do. The real question was : why?

"........... Oh, is it about the girl from the a-"

" Josuke !" he suddenly yelled, the whole shy pose and demeanor thing immediately flying out the window as the Regular Okuyasu made his grand entrance. "Man! Ahh, fuck this playing shy shit, it's makin' my brain hurt! Damn, you're slow as hell!" 

Josuke was a second away from being offended before Okuyasu hit him with the next blow :

"Those girls,' he said, 'I- I made them up!"

" Huh??? "

"It's… All those girls, it's just- It's not multiple, it's this one! This one girl I really… Damn, I really, really like!"

"Ehh? Made up?! Even the girl from the TV?!"

"Oh- No, no no, that one's legit!" he exclaimed, crossing his arms. "Man… You think I'll ever have a chance with her?"

" No! " Josuke hissed. "Okuyasu- Why did you make all those girls - except the one from the TV - up?! Wh- Who is the actual girl you like?!"

And… Okuyasu, his arms dropped to his sides for a moment. And then his eyes narrowed, his teeth gritting together, and his stance was all-delinquent again as he pointed, accusatory and oh, so super cool , and spoke :

" You. "

…

"... What about me?"

"I-It's you, you idiot!" Okuyasu screeched. " You're the girl I like! "

" Eh?! "

"Y-Yes, you !' he repeated. 'You and your- gah! Your cute, stupid face and those little princess lips you have! And your whole thing! And- And your sticking around me no matter how weird or dumb I am thing! Josuke! You're like- prettier than any girl from this school!"

"Woooh, Okuyasu, do you really think so?" Josuke asked, placing a hand under his chin. Until… it dawned on him. Again. "W-Wait, me?! "

"Yes, you! And now, I- It's your damn fault, Josuke!"

"It's my fault that I'm pretty?"

"Yes!" Okuyasu said, and the finger he'd been accusingly pointing at him lowered at last. "..... And I also wanted to ask."

And it was that shy thing again. But genuine.

"... This uhh, dumb school dance thing. Josuke… would you. Do you wanna be the girl I'll dance with."

"... What. No, I'm not being the girl. Okuyasu, I'm going to spend all my savings on a Valentino suit for that thing."

"Wh- Damn!! Fine, then- You- Would you wanna be my suited-up bro for the dance thing?? Huh??" he tried again. "Hell, I'll be the damn girl if you wanna go there but just- Josuke, do you?"

… Did he?

… Well, more like, did Josuke have literally any reason to say no? 

He did not. And he felt his face heat up as his hand came for his mouth, hiding away a growing smile - one that grew even more once Okuyasu's face started lighting up.

“Bro…”

And his choice was-

“... Wait, what time is it.”

“Uhh, like, four-something?” Okuyasu provided, just as Josuke checked his watch. 

“Oh, it’s four-and-a-half. O’clock. Uh-huh,” Josuke announced, clasping his hands together. Then, opening his mouth again, he-

“ Oh bro bye.”

He ran as fast as he possibly could to the front of the school.

At encounter B, Josuke arrived late, with students pouring out from and crowding the front door. In the middle of the mass, however, there was Koichi-kun, who approached him with a small smile.

And Josuke said hi to him, before letting out a loud huff as he doubled-over. And Koichi-kun worriedly asked him if he was alright, and Josuke said he was, and even more so, now that his friend was around. And he was just about to tell him what had happened with him and Okuyasu when-

"... Hey, Josuke-kun, while we wait here for Okuyasu, do you mind if I ask you something?”

"Yeah?"

Man, Koichi-kun was so nice. Okuyasu would always take ten million years to arrive, and everytime he’d suggest they wait for him regardless. 

What a kind little guy.

“Oh, by the way, are you going to attend the school dance?” Josuke asked him, excited, before Koichi-kun had even had the time to. The boy stumbled on his words, then - a little awkward, a little surprised - but smiled regardless. As he tended to do, because wow, he was just… He was just that cool. Or, well, not cool but…

Cute?  

Josuke didn’t want to outright call his friend that. He had no idea if he’d misinterpret it, after all. But… But still, it was hard not to think about it! He was totally cute and kind of adorable, and Josuke felt a little silly for thinking that, so he'd never said it. Ever.

“Ah, about that!” Koichi-kun exclaimed. “I wasn’t going to, at first. Hahh… There’s so many exams coming up, I’m so tired!”

“Oh man, don’t even mention it!” Josuke huffed. “... Man, unrelated, but I’m starting to feel bad now… I was supposed to meet a girl here, but I think she thought I stood her u-”

Just as he'd looked away from Koichi-kun, he caught it - there, at the edge of his vision.

Koichi-kun was looking down, a bit sheepishly so, and the tips of his pointer fingers were meeting.

Huh.

Oh that’s so cute but huh?!

Well, he wasn't actually that surprised. Koichi-kun could be shy, sometimes. In a way. It was different from how Okuyasu was. 

But also…

What.

"So, uh… Are you going, Josuke-kun?"

“To where?”

“... Uh, the school dance!!”

"Ohhhh, ahaha, yes, absolutely!” Josuke confirmed. “No way am I passing up this excuse to buy some nice clothes and dance to some nice tunes. But, hey, what about you?"

"I really was planning on sitting that one out at first, but…" He chuckled awkwardly. "I got a little encouragement…"

“Wooo! Let’s go, bro!” Josuke exclaimed, placing one hand on Koichi-kun's shoulder. “Soooo, whooo’s the lucky girl?”

"O-Oh, I- About that!" Koichi-kun stammered, letting out an awkward little chuckle as he scratched the back of his head. "Ahh, how do I say this…"

"Hey, man," Josuke said, a small, reassuring smile on his lips. "You can tell me anything, yeah?"

"Oh, I know! Josuke, you're really…" And he smiled right back. "You're just so nice!"

And Josuke's smile only grew, his cheeks turning a little pinker. He was weak to compliments, but something like that coming from someone like him? It was small, sure, but it still made butterflies flap their little wings around inside Josuke's stomach. 

"Haha, man, you flatter me…"

"I'm serious! Josuke, ever since… I got here, you've always been so… so welcoming to me, even before I– Well before I was like I am now!" he exclaimed. "Even when I was just so… scared of everything, you were still there, giving me a chance!! And you're just… so cool, Josuke…! So cool that, sometimes, I just-"

And by that point, the butterflies were almost punching their way out of him. And he waited, a few moments, as Koichi-kun seemed to try and hold his sudden barrage of words back. But Josuke was not having it. 

"You just…?"

"... Hah… I just can't believe I was so lucky to meet someone like you," Koichi-kun said. "... And Okuyasu too, but uh, he sure is taking his time…?" he added, before shaking his head. "But- Right now, Josuke… this is about you!"

As he said that, his face lit up, and he looked so determined. 

It was a reminder to Josuke - a very welcome one - that Koichi was not just a cute little guy, but also one of the bravest dudes he'd ever met. And whenever he got that fierce look in his eyes, Josuke couldn't help it - it was just so cool. And now, being on the receiving end of that look…

"About me?" he repeated, his eyes twinkling as he leaned down, hands joined together. 

"About you."

And Koichi-kun smiled, then, all friendly, all nice, and it made Josuke honestly melt .

"Josuke! Would you want to go to the school dance with me?"

" Me?!"

Direct, right to the point, with maybe a few twirls of anxiety beforehand, but still- 

Wow.

" Y-Yeah! Us!"

… Did he?

… Well, more like, did Josuke have literally any reason to say no? 

He did not. And he felt his face heat up as his hand came for his mouth, hiding away a- wait.

And his face went blank. 

Uh.

And his whole entire being went blank. He didn’t even mildly pose at the realization - his shoulders just went limp as he stared at Koichi-kun, and then at nothing.

Uh…

"... You, ah, don't have to answer today though!!" Koichi-kun immediately clarified. Josuke barely heard it.

Oh, this was…

"Just, uhh, give it a thought!"

"Woah, what happened to him?"

"Oh, Okuyasu! We were waiting for you!”

“Hehe, really? That’s so-”

His two friends kept on talking, together, and Josuke's attention snapped back to them. Which made it all so much… 

Worse.

Two invites for one Josuke.

Two invites from his two closest friends who he couldn’t find a reason to say no to, and didn’t say no to, as the three of them ended up getting lost in conversation as usual. Their walk home today being just like any other.

But once Josuke's head hit his pillow, he knew he couldn’t keep running from it.

He had a brand new dilemma in front of him, or a brand new question, dare he say, as he felt like this was the equivalent of turning the page during a test, only to realize there was a whole part two of it on the back.

And now, he had :

My two bros - my besties, even - have both invited me to the school dance. So, obviously, I should go with ____ because ____. (10 pts)

a) Okuyasu / he's just that cool.

b) Koichi-kun / he's just that cute.

c) uhh / I'm also a clone made out of wood, uh huh.

d) Intentionally left blank) / (Intentionally left blank)

…

He didn't like any of those answers. He rubbed at his face, a sinking feeling overtaking him. He didn't want either of them to go alone, but he also didn't want to say no to either of them.

He wondered about option E, for a moment.

…

Oh, he knew what option E could be.

So, he did what was right. Morally correct.

And after a day of internal back and forths, of questions left unanswered and of realizations - after a Wednesday as useless as any Wednesday could be - he came to the conclusion that the ' just think about it, it'll come easy' way of thinking was super wrong. 

So, onto the next day :

With his thoughts cleared out, some free time in-between classes, and with both his best friends standing in front of him, both asking him if everything was alright - which was so sweet, so he asked them back and then they asked each other, and-

And then he focused again. 

"... Something important… has happened."

…

"Some important… things have happened. And I really… want to come clean about what I've ultimately decided."

And at last, he did :

But not without first making a peace sign, placing his other hand behind his head, and laughing, "Teehee, I can't make my mind up about this!"  

…

"No, really, I can't! You both are just- too good, and besides… I can't choose . If I could go to the dance with you both, I would. I- "

Man, I wish I had two hands. It would make all this so much easier, haha, Josuke thought, placing both hands inside his pockets.

“And, like… I can’t keep such a big secret from you guys, you know? So… I realized I-”

Okuyasu's coat dropped to the ground.

“....... Okuyasu, um, what are you-”

“Koichi-kun,” Okuyasu said, pointing at the aforementioned Koichi-kun. “Heh. If that’s even your real name. I guess it’s really come to this.”

“E-Eh?! I’m not going to fight you over this, are you crazy, Okuyasu?”

“Oh, really? Then why are your fists balled up?!” Okuyasu pointed out, and Koichi-kun didn’t really un-ball them. “Fight me! Whoever survives gets to go with Josuke!”

“H-HEY!” Josuke called out. Even though the idea of two people fighting over him was flattering and kind of sorta romantic, he did not want to see his two bros doing that. “I called you two because I wanted to talk! ”

"I can’t talk to this traitor!” Okuyasu exclaimed. “And here I thought… If I knew him wondering if he should invite that person meant you, Josuke…”

“... Wait, he told you that-”

"You’re one to talk, Okuyasu!” Koichi-kun retorted. “I thought when you asked for advice with that girl, it was about the lady from the TV!"

"... Oh, he asked you too,” Josuke said. “... Wait. Huh. Huh?! Why were the both of you talking about fake girl crushes to each other and me?! Hello?! I never pulled that kind of thing!”

“That’s because you’re gay,” the two of them said in unison, immediately putting an end to whatever argument Josuke was trying to come up with.

“ Huh?????? ”

"Besides, on my end, Koichi is a reliable ass guy…" Okuyasu nodded, crossing his arms. “He gives super great advice too. The only thing he can’t do is beat me in a fight.” 

And he nodded once more. And then one more time.

"Heh. If Koichi-kun invited me to go, I'd say yes for sure!"

" Eh?! " 

“Wait, really??”

"I mean, first of all, he would buy me a free dinner for sure. Not to scam him or anythin', but… y'know. He does look pretty scammable, doesn't he?" Okuyasu continued, gesturing toward Koichi-kun as he spoke.

“Wait- What?!”

"Okuyasu! I can't believe you'd do that!" Josuke cried. “Not to him! No, I get you accepting the invite - I totally would too! … If it was the only one! But come on, bro, scamming him?!”

"Oi oi oi, I wouldn't- I wouldn’t steal his money or nothin'! Just, like, ask him to get me some extra food at Tonio's, y'know?" 

“... Huh, going with you would be pretty fun,” Koichi-kun suddenly mumbled. “I mean, not the scamming part! That’s awful! But- Y’know, the rest! It would be fun!”

“Yeah, see!”

“Y-Yeah, I see it!”

And just like that , the fight was off, as Okuyasu picked his coat back up and threw it over his shoulder. Koichi-kun, meanwhile, just stopped trying to make punching fists.

And they stared at each other, then, smiling, for a few long seconds.

"... Yo, Koichi-kun…" 

Okuyasu was pouting, and the tips of his pointer fingers met in the middle-

" Okuyasu!! You invited me , remember??!"

"Oh- That's right!” he exclaimed, snapping right out of it. “Wait, but you couldn't decide! So, it's decided! I'll go with Koichi, so you don't have to make the choice!"

"Wow, that is nice of you, but?! But who am I supposed to go with?!" Josuke screeched, and Koichi immediately raised both his arms.

"Me!"

"K-Koichi-kun! If- If Okuyasu invited you, would you actually–"

"... Ah, ahaha… I think………. Yeah… "

"Eeeh, really?!" Okuyasu exclaimed. "You'd accept??! Woah! Josuke, do you think we'd look cute as a couple?"

"Oh, totally!" Josuke nodded, joining his hands together. "Like, the contrast is so cute. We love to see it. Man... Ah, I get it. You two should go together. I'll…" He sighed, a small smile growing on his lips as he knew he was doing the right, morally correct thing. "I'll find someone else to go w-"

"Like hell you will! The fuck?!" Okuyasu yelled. "I asked you first!"

"H-Hey, that's not fair! I left the note in his locker first!" Koichi added, just in time for Okuyasu to turn to him.

"You little traitor! Nah, we're so over!" Okuyasu exclaimed, backing away from him. "Josuke, fuck you, go with me! "

"....... Ah…" Koichi sighed. "...You know, maybe I… I can find someone else. Okuyasu, Josuke, you two- You'll make a great couple! You should go together! I can find someone for myself!"

"We're so back!" Okuyasu yelled, standing right by Josuke once again, wrapping an arm around his neck. Their embrace lasted barely a second. 

"... Bro…"

"... Dude."

"... Yeah no, Koichi-kun you're too epic for me to let you do that," they both said in unison, un-doing their embrace. 

“Oh. Uh, thanks?”

“ Rahhh , this is too complicated, man! It’s hard to choose!” Okuyasu huffed, pulling both Josuke and Koichi-kun into half-hugs as he wrapped his arms around their necks. “Why’d they have to pull this school dance shit on us?! It’s too much!”

“At least we all managed to get… some of our feelings out?” Josuke tried. “Especially you two! Okuyasu, you were always wanting to go out with a girl, and Koichi-kun, I didn’t even think you’d want to go to this dance thing!”

“Oh, at first I didn’t! But…” He huffed. “Rohan-sensei encouraged me to… I mentioned the school dance and he immediately said-”

“ Rohan??!” the two delinquents exclaimed. And Josuke was just about to say something else , when Okuyasu cut in first :

“What do you mean??! I- I passed by his house earlier this week with my dad, and- and he told me the same!! ” he yelled, fists rising, before his face started to heat up. “... Well, we got into the subject because- Well, I got a little emotional about not having a date alright?! And- I said I couldn’t choose, so he told me Koichi-kun was too good for me but I still-”

“W-Wait, you actually considered inviting me beforehand ???!” Koichi exclaimed, his own face getting red. “Oh man, that’s…”

“ Wait,” Josuke said, raising a finger and placing a hand on his hip. “ What the fuck. ”

“I agree!” Okuyasu yelled. Again. “I can’t believe that snotty guy was behind it all!” 

“... I mean, we kind of all have the same problem here…” Koichi-kun mumbled. “... But he did make things worse…”

“Alright,” Josuke huffed. “Boys, there’s no way out of this. I’ll have to choose… option E.”

What, they both said in unison. And Josuke momentarily considered explaining his whole theory, but that was for another time.

“ E meaning End his fucking life - I’m gonna beat the shit out of him again! What the hell!”

“JOSUKE NO!!”

“JOSUKE YES!! ”

In the end, it was Josuke not Now, as the bell rang and they all shuffled back to class. And after class, they were too tired to actually deal with the situation, and instead, Josuke suggested they just hang out as usual. They would still have two days to kill Rohan, get ready, and make their choice. And buy their matching outfits of course.

A choice Josuke was struggling with, especially as he and his guys, his bros, his best friends, the two lights of his fabulous life, fell asleep with him on his couch, their hands still clutching controllers and open sodas.

And on the following day, Thursday, he had only one decision made : be reasonable towards Rohan for once.

"You told them BOTH to ask me out?! Are you stupid?? Wait, no, sorry, that’s super rude, you’re not stupid you just HATE me!!! Dude! Do you know how much turmoil my little heart is in right now??! Do you know how much I wish I could just clone myself and go with them both??! How much I love and appreciate them and want their company and okay TMI maybe- Are you actually the one behind all this??!"

And Rohan Kishibe, that guy, let out a single sigh. Sure, it was unreasonably early, but the school dance was just two days away and there was not enough time and Josuke had to decide now. And yelling at Rohan didn’t make his decision any easier, but at least, it got some of the stress out.

“Don’t just phew at me, dude, what the fuck!! Did you or did you not??!”

"Of course I did."

" WHY??! "

"For." Rohan spread his arms. "The arts. "

"HUH ???!"

"And," he added, raising a finger, "... for the readers. They love drama."

" Rohan - I don't care about your readers! And another thing! Love triangles are really boring and annoying and nobody likes them! You know what actually sells?! Romance! "

"Well, you're wrong," Rohan said. "But in your case… I don't care."

"W-Well you should!! You can't just set my life on fire and then not fix it!!" 

And then the both of them remembered, at the exact same time, the fire incident. 

And Rohan smiled. And it was too late for Josuke to take those specific words back.

“Haha,” he said, and slammed the door in Josuke's face.

Not one minute later, though, he opened the door again. 

Josuke was already on his knees, ready to start crying and screaming and throwing up. And Rohan hissed at him to stop, as if he were just some big dog, his brow twitching.

“You set my house on fire,” he stated.

“O-Okay, that thing- That was not me setting your house on fire, that was-”

"... I do not like you."

"Oh, really?! I won't lie, with the kinda stuff you pull it's a little ob-"

"And I don't enjoy Okuyasu either. He's like a clunky clone of you, but a somehow dumber one . "

" Oi! Who said you could say that??! The only one allowed to call Oku anything like that is-"

"However," Rohan interrupted him, again, and the two might as well start having their own individual conversations, "... there is one issue."

"... One??! "

"... Koichi-kun would be quite hurt about this whole ordeal."

“Man, you are so right!”

“For once we agree. So… I have analyzed the situation, this script, these pages, and I have a suggestion, based on empirical evidence, common sense and really, the fact that everyone has just been waiting for it to become ‘a thing,'” he explained, joining his hands together. “... Why don't you three just accept both invites."

And Josuke crossed his arms, and nodded, and pursed his lips, and thought about it, and-

“What”

"Aren't you all some sort of amalgamation already?"

"You mean a friend group??! "

"Indeed. You three would end up ditching your dates to do whatever it is you do at a dance party. Together. You three are always hanging out together. Thus far, all three of you have come whining to me about how much you can’t choose. You three-" Rohan interrupted himself. " Josuke, they are literally right behind you waiting by the bushes. This is ridiculous. Just. Go. Together,” he hissed. "This isn't a test where there's only A-B-C-D to choose from. You don’t need to choose just one ."

And just like that, even before his insane rant had finished… everything made sense. Everything clicked in place.

E for Everyone .

"... There's… Option E…"

"What? No, are you stupid? I just said it's not like a test-"

"Koichi-kun, Okuyasu," Josuke called. "Would… Would you both want to go to the school dance with me?"

"... Oh! That would be so cool!" Koichi-kun exclaimed.

"Bro, that would be… mad cute. Yeah, let’s go!!” Okuyasu yelled right after.

"Haha, oh my God why did we not do that from the start –” Josuke mumbled, turning back to Rohan with a big smile on his face, just as Koichi-kun and Okuyasu mumbled the same words to themselves. “... Y'know, Rohan-sensei.."

“You’re welcome.”

"For once, I gotta th- Oh, damn okay! Rude but yeah, sure, take it!"

“What does your brain run on?” Rohan asked, only half-rhetorically, before letting out one last sigh. “Goodbye. Tell Koichi-kun I hope his dance goes well, but do not tell Okuyasu the same.”

And the door was slammed shut again. And Rohan leaned against it for a moment, as he heard cheering coming from the two idiots - and Koichi-kun - outside.

He thought back to Hazamada-san, who passed by earlier and whom Rohan had read through for the school news. And he thought of one more thing :

I wonder if I should tell them that their school dance was canceled at the last minute. 

…

Rohan, in the end, did not tell them.

And in the end, the trio would never be able to find another use to the matching suits they bought.