Chapter Text
Lucerys was in love.
Everything. From the top of her head to the tip of her tiny toes. He was in love with all of her.
His beautiful Daena.
His baby.
“Please remind me why we are doing this,” he yelled to the phone that was laying on top of the driver’s seat. He was too busy trying to adjust Daena’s safety belt and the girl kept giggling and shaking her body, thinking it was still play time.
“Because of how much mom had to go through to rekindle her friendship with Alicent.”
“I think you meant to say her love affair , not friendship , with Alicent,” he added rolling his eyes and shivering. He could feel Jace’s shiver through the line, as well.
“Don’t remind me. They had tea here a week ago and even Joffrey was gagging.”
“Joff gags at anything and everything, to be fair.” He tickled Daena’s belly and the girl giggled, trying to bat away his hand.
“Muña!” She chastised him and Lucerys couldn’t help but giggle too when the girl tried to kick him with a tiny foot that wore a ballerina shoe paired with a neon orange sock.
“Be sweet, my dear,” he asked her. “Let muña make sure your straps are not hurting you.” Lucerys smiled and finally clicked the seatbelt in its place. “But what were they even doing?” He returned to the conversation with his brother. “Holding hands and looking into each others’ eyes for minutes straight?”
“Oh no. It was ten times worse. Alicent was reading the Seven-Pointed Star out loud to Mom.”
“Shut up.” He eyed the phone with scandalized eyes. “SHUT. UP.”
“Shut! Up!” Echoed Daena happily.
“Right, baby?!” Lucerys asked her, mouth wide open in shock. “Unbelievable!” Daena giggled at the face her muña made and he came close to deposit a soft kiss in her curly brown hair. “Should we do an intervention? And where is Daemon when we need him at last?” He asked after closing the door to the backseat and moving to get into the driver’s seat now.
“Busy jerking off to girl-on-girl action!” He could hear the voice of his younger sibling in the distance.
“Joff shut it! He’s on speaker with Daena!”
“Baby, do you want to watch Barbie in the Nutcracker? Or Paw Patrol?” Lucerys asked quickly, hoping the girl wouldn’t pay attention to the bickering of his siblings.
“Paw Patrol! Paw Patrol! Muña, I want Paw Patrol!” She started yelling while hitting her tiny legs with her hands in excitement.
“Paw Patrol it is!” He answered laughing, reaching to grab his phone and opening the app that controlled the screen that was near the cup holder.
“Anyway–,” the voice of his elder brother made itself heard once more, after finishing his argument with Joff. “How come you forgot to book the nanny? I mean, you know I adore Daena and of course I want to see her, but I also know how stressed you are with her being around… Well–”
“I had a double shift at the beginning of the week, so I was out of it, Jace.” He replied and pulled on his seatbelt to buckle up. “By the time I remembered in late Thursday, she already had made plans for the weekend, and I’m still uncomfortable with the idea of trying for a new nanny.”
“Well, I know that in your profession you have that kind of stuff, but you have to start figuring out how to make more time for yourself. And for Daena, as well.”
At that moment, Lucerys felt a great urge to kick his brother in the balls or to yell at him all kinds of things he shouldn’t say in front of his baby. So he did the most mature thing instead, which was to hang up the call.
“Bye, Jace.” He said bitterly to the blackened screen.
“Bye-bye, Uncle Jace!” Replied Daena, not a single clue of what had transpired inside her pretty head. Lucerys looked at her in the rearview mirror and was thankful she had already shifted her attention back to the screen. He couldn’t fake a smile for her, then. Jace’s words haunted his already anxious mind.
He sighed and turned the key, resigned to his fate.
It had been the morning of the first day of his second year of residency when their paths had crossed. Sweet little Daena had been rushed to the emergency room after a car crash in which her parents’ vehicle had been impacted by a truck driver. The prognosis wasn’t good for them, but Daena had been safely secured in her baby seat, which helped her avoid the worst of the crash. Lucerys was doing a rotation in emergencies, so he was the first to attend to the little girl and later stayed with her when he realized no family members were coming to check in on her.
When police arrived the next day, alongside social workers, Lucerys realized what had happened. During his lunch break, he went to check in on her, and the nurse tending to the girl confirmed his suspicions. Little Daena’s parents had passed away from their injuries, and although a family member had come during the night to see her health status, he had later declared himself unable to take in the kid. It seemed like no one next of kin would be able to help her, which was why social services had been called.
Once he realized that poor baby had no one in the world, something shattered inside Lucerys. On the very next day that her mom had told him of her new pregnancy.
The drive from Driftmark to King’s Landing was a rather short one, with the only issue being the ferry ride. He couldn’t help with the anxiety of whether Daena would get seasick or not, and he had spent most of the previous night googling how to deal with seasick children (the Seven knew he always got sick, no matter how many weird home remedies his Grandpa insisted on giving him. Remedies that he had found on Youtube Reels of all places. One time he gave him a frog smoothie and Lucerys drank it, to make him smile. He had puked immediately on his brand-new sneakers and the man stopped trying to find a cure). Thus, once they were settled inside the ship, he unbuckled his belt and went to the backseats to sit next to her.
“How are you doing, baby? Are you feeling okay?” He asked.
“Shhh!” She furrowed her eyebrows and kept looking at the screen. Lucerys couldn’t help the smile.
“Sorry, sorry!”
He sighed and moved to reach the baby bag he had dropped in the copilot’s seat. Inside, he had some snacks and juice pouches he had prepared the previous night, all fruits, veggies, and purees. He wondered if he should give Daena something to eat now or if he should wait and see if she got seasick first… That was when his phone started buzzing and the screen paused the episode, making Daena cry in anger.
“Hold on, baby,” he told her while he moved to get it from the front seat. He bravely endured the tiny kicks she gave him.
It was Rhaena.
He answered the call and the Paw Patrol episode resumed, instantly silencing the kid.
“It’s Auntie Rhaena! Say hi, baby!”
“Hi!” She yelled, eyes focused on the screen. Not a single care in the world. Damn, how much he wished he could be her.
“Hello, my sweetest!” Rhaena said before making a lot of kissing noises. “And you! How’s my babygirl doing?”
“Your babygirl was recently attacked with kicks to his belly thanks to your call interrupting Daena’s most important moment of the day.”
“Puking on you?”
“Ha ha,” he dryly answered and rolled his eyes. “No, Paw Patrol.”
“Ah. Her second most important moment of the day, then.” He could feel her smile through the line and he couldn’t help but smile as well.
“And you? What about my babymama?”
“Your babymama is contemplating sending her dad to an asylum. I can see it in Rhaenyra’s eyes, this is the year I manage to convince her that it’s out of our hands and that he needs specialized help we can’t sadly provide.” Lucerys giggled. Every year, they were greeted by a new scheme from Daemon to avoid going to the big family gathering at the Keep.
“What has he done this time?”
“He locked himself inside the barn and Jace and Rhaenyra are bargaining with him.” At least it wasn’t chaining himself to the chimney like last year. “I think they haven’t noticed yet that Joff has the keys.”
“If only someone were nice and courageous enough to tell them about it.”
“Right? ” She laughed. “But I won’t rat Joff out. He has enough dirt on me.”
“Oh. Care tell?”
“I’ll tell you when you arrive here. It’s better to keep something to talk about to pretend you’re busy and can’t talk to anyone else.” Luke cringed. He appreciated Rhaena’s concern, but he hated to be reminded of why he needed help to avoid certain others’ attention on him. “You’re at the ferry now, right?”
“Yeah. How did you know?”
“Baela told me that Jace told her that you hung up on him while you were getting ready to start driving. So, what happened? ”
“I’ll tell you when I arrive. You know, so we are busy talking.”
He wouldn’t tell her, really. When he adopted Daena, it had been Rhaena the one to move in with him for the first few months to help him settle in. While he had had an idea of what it would entail, he hadn’t anticipated how difficult it would be to shift his entire life and schedule around a baby, especially one that needed additional psychological help and to get used to a new environment and a new family. Truly, had it not been for Rhaena’s presence, patience, and neverending love, Lucerys knew he wouldn’t have managed and that he would have become a total wreck.
Which was why he couldn’t tell her why he was upset with Jace. He knew that Rhaena would immediately come to his aid and drop everything else in order to spend time with her baby niece, who also adored her. And he couldn’t do that, especially after she had told him a month ago that she had finally managed to book a venue for her first fashion show. He knew this was her dream come true and he was set on not ruining it.
Besides, he was managing. Sure, he hadn’t had a good day of sleep in almost a year; he didn’t know what homecooked food tasted like anymore; he hadn’t had his scheduled heat due to separation anxiety from Daena and hadn’t stopped taking the suppressants for an entire year (which made him gain weight and get fucking acne); he knew the entire Babyshark choreography, lyrics, and would absentmindedly sing to it in the break room; and his social life was reduced to the nurses at the hospital, the babysitter, Daena, and Daena’s Barbies. Apparently, her dolls Sansa and Arya were fighting at the moment and weren’t best friends anymore, which was the most ardent gossip he had heard in months.
Yeah, he wasn’t telling Rhaena any of that.
“Anyway, I called too because I imagined you’d need a distraction once inside the ferry. Are you feeling sick?”
“I guess I’m more nervous about Daena and whether or not she will get sick.” He glanced in her direction and noticed that the girl had taken her thumb to her mouth again. He quietly tried to take it out of her mouth, but she started fussing, so he dropped it. “It’s already time for her morning snack, but I’m scared she might throw it up later.”
“Isn’t her muña a renowned Pediatrician? ” She giggled. “You should know that she’s going to be fine.”
“I know, but that doesn’t help the worry.” He sighed. “I don’t want her to cry.”
Matter of fact, he hated it. He would burst into tears every time Daena cried, consumed with the guilt of not being good enough for her, of not being able to be what she needed. To be reminded, once more, that he was alone in this.
“Babygirl.” Rhaena sighed. “Everything is going to be fine. Just give her the snack, okay? If she throws up, you clean it up. If you don’t give her anything and she doesn’t throw up, then you’ll have a hangry baby at Alicent’s party. Do you really want that? To be subjected to her ‘how-dare-you-you-monster-first-my-son’s-eye-then-his-heart-and-now-my-tea-party’ gaze?”
“She’s dating my mom, I think she has no right to call me out.” He scoffed. “Speaking of that, where is your dad? Isn’t he supposed to put a stop to whatever my mom and Alicent are doing? The Seven Pointed Star? We are losing her, babymama!”
“Maybe we could get a two-for-one deal at the asylum. What do you think?” But before Lucerys could reply, he heard screams in the background. “Sorry babygirl, I’ve got to go. I think Jace finally figured out that Joff was being too quiet.”
Lucerys couldn’t help the chuckle, listening to the distant threats from his elder brother that were soon joined by Baela’s booming and commanding voice. “Good luck, babymama. I hope you get to convince mom and that this will be the year we finally say goodbye to Daemon. I will convince Jace and Joff that Mom should follow him immediately after.”
“It’s for the best. They’ll understand, they would do the same for us.”
“Of course.” He turned to look at his daughter. “Daena, baby, say goodbye to Auntie Rhaena.”
“Bye-bye!” She said offhandedly.
“Goodbye, my sweetest! And goodbye to you too, I guess.”
“I can see I’m no longer your favorite.”
“Glad to know you understand your place!”
“Ha, ha, ha. Anyway, see you.”
“Have a pleasant trip!”
Lucerys hung up the call and threw his phone inside the cup holder. He grabbed the baby bag once more and took out a juice box and a banana, giving the former to his baby who started to drink eagerly. He peeled and broke the banana into tiny pieces that he fed to his baby while she kept watching the screen.
He shouldn’t have worried, as Rhaena had said. Although it was a windy day, and the ferry kept swaying from one way to the other, Daena didn’t seem bothered at all. Maybe he should remember the teachings from his own career, that babies are far more resilient than people give them credit for.
He smiled and put the peel inside a plastic bag to throw away later. Right then, though, the ferry made a rough movement and he could feel the entire thing tilting to the left.
He grasped the grab handle and closed his eyes, trying to count backward from a hundred to cero.
“Muña!” He heard his baby call him after a panicked minute in which he hadn’t made it further than 95. He turned to look at her, cold sweat gathering on his nape. Daena had her big brown eyes settled on him.
“Yes, baby?”
“Why are you white?”
“Huh?”
“Muña!” She pointed to his face. “You’re white! It’s funny!”
“...Oh. Baby don’t look.”
“Wha–”
He grabbed the plastic bag again and opened it quickly, throwing up there all of his meager breakfast. Between heavings, he could hear Daena’s upset cries… And then, the sound of her starting to throw up as well. Chunky and sticky half-digested pieces of banana coated his precious girl’s white ruffled shirt ( What was he thinking? White for a ferry trip. WHITE. ). With tears, snot, and an acid taste remaining in his mouth, he quickly tied and threw the bag to the bottom of the seat, to focus on his girl and soothing her.
He would never regret Daena. But sometimes, he wished there was someone else with him, to yell at to do something, while he was busy being miserable.
He closed his eyes and begged his mind to dispel the pictures of soft long platinum hair. He didn’t need it now of all times.
He was already crying.
For better or worse, Daena hadn’t been cleared out after the first day at the hospital. She had arrived with a broken arm and a broken collarbone on her right side, in addition to a concussion. Lucerys had been the one to take her vitals, rush her to get scans done, and later be the one to put the cast on her arm and torso. Thankfully, the concussion hadn’t been too alarming, but his supervisors had advised him also to put the girl’s torso in a cast to prevent further movement that could jeopardize her recovery.
It was his second year in the Pediatrics residency, but this had been the first time a case had shaken him so deeply. Lucerys remembered the feeling of her tiny battered body as he worked on her, while she was still unconscious. And although he knew that kids were strong and would usually recover without a hitch, he knew that Daena had a different path in front of her. Alone, without parents, she would be sorted into the foster system way too young. Anything could happen to her, then. And that’s something that Lucerys hadn’t been able to stop thinking about, during that second day after the little girl’s arrival to the hospital. That the little body he had lovingly held and helped recover, would be exposed to a thousand dangers from now on. That once she left, there was nothing he could do to help. There would be no one to help her again.
Let it go, Lucerys. You’re too selfish. And I’m tired.
His body had trembled thanks to the memory of those scathing words.
Nonetheless, Lucerys found himself going to see the baby before leaving to go home, after 36 hours of excruciating work. This time, however, Daena was awake.
And screaming.
He rushed inside the room when he heard her panicked cries, while two nurses were trying to make her eat and shush her. She kept crying for her mom and dad, clearly afraid and terrorized by the unfamiliar environment, smells, and the cast on her body that limited her movement. The moment their eyes met, though, Lucerys felt something breaking inside him. Something which was put together again the moment he came to sit next to her and the baby clung to him.
Scientifically speaking, he understood why. Omegas were highly demanded in Pediatrics because their soothing and warm smells helped kids calm down. Even unconscious, kids’ brains could remember and pick up the smells of those who had been closer to them, taking care of them. It was a residual survival instinct: you latch onto those you know can help you. And by then, Lucerys had had his fair share of clingy kids during the entirety of his first year.
So, this wasn’t something new. Except this time, Lucerys had not been able to control his pheromones as he usually would. He had immediately doused the kid with his soothing smell, trying to convey his desire to protect and love her.
Daena’s cries quietened as Lucerys’ resolution hardened. She looked at him with big brown eyes, so like his.
He wouldn’t let go. Not again.