Work Text:
“What is this?” Jason exclaimed, snagging Tim by his jacket sleeve and yanking him towards a display of what appeared to be carrots. Yep, the signs said carrots.
“Carrots, it says so right there,” Tim thought he was being helpful but Jason’s expression of wonder faded to disdain before switching back.
“Yeah, but they’re purple!” Jason said in what surely had to be exaggerated awe. Jason started bagging up the carrots. “Steph would love these!”
“What are we going to do with purple carrots?” Tim asked, bordering on frustrated. Jason had been in amazement ever since stepping foot inside the large grocery store. He’d spent too much time oohing and awing over the bulk grain dispensers, and asking questions at the meat counter. This was supposed to be a quick shop for their new house, just the essentials, Tim stopped to stare at their overflowing cart. Right, essentials.
“I don’t know but I want them and I’m going to have them.” Jason said resolutely, dropping the newly procured carrots in the buggy. “What else does this place have?” Jason wondered as he pushed the cart onwards.
“A checkout,” Tim muttered to himself.
“What was that?”
“Nothing dear.” Tim responded, hoping the endearment would remind Jason that they were on a mission. An actual sent by Batman to go undercover and find the source of a new drug mission. But Jason just stared at him for a moment, then shrugged and bounced on to the next display of fresh food. Tim trudged along grumbling to himself the whole time.
When they got home Jason immediately started searching for recipes for his carrots. Tim checked to make sure their line was secure before calling the Cave.
“Nightwing,” Dick answered, he was there early.
“It’s me Wing.” Tim said with a sigh.
“Anything to report yet or just a check in?” Dick asked, sounding concerned about the sighing Tim was doing.
“Check in,” Tim said, “I’m missing my partner, he’s lost in the euphoric high of purple carrots.”
“Is that what they’re calling the new drug? How did you guys get your hands on it that quickly? And why did Jason take it?” Dick asked rapid fire.
“Nope, not a drug, carrots like the vegetable, no one mentioned Jason’s never been to a store bigger than a bodega before, he went crazy in the grocery store. Now he’s cooking.” Tim was assuming he’d moved on to cooking, he could hear pots and pans banging around, he hoped Jay was making enough for him.
“Oh yeah, I forgot, Jason’s a complete city boy, Crime Alley all the way, not many big, fancy grocery stores there. This has gotta be a big culture shock.” Dick said consideringly.
“Didn’t he go on a whole world tour while learning to murder? You’d think he’d have gone to at least one grocery store.” Tim said flippantly.
“I doubt Talia al Ghul was big on grocery shopping.” Tim could hear Dick’s eye roll.
“True, I’m gonna go make sure Jason’s not getting into trouble out there. Talk to you when I actually have something to report.” Tim said signing off.
Jason did make enough for him, and honey glazed carrots were delicious, not worth the three hours in the grocery store, but definitely yummy.
“Hey Tim, did you know we’re only paying 1200 dollars a month for this place?” Tim had not known that.
“Nope, that's nice,” Tim said, not sure what Jason was getting at.
“I pay more than that for a one bedroom shithole downtown, we got a three bedroom, two bath with a yard and a garage, free parking. Why the hell do I live downtown?” Jason commented mostly to himself.
“Cause the crime is downtown, it’d be a hell of a commute for Red Hood every night.” Tim told him before going back to his spreadsheets and maps. He was trying to narrow down a likely site of distribution for the new drug. While it was making its rounds downtown now, the spread had started in the suburbs. Someone was putting their fancy, free parking spaces to use to make drugs that were killing people.
“Hmm, right, that would be hell, but it would save me so much money.” Jason was still ruminating.
“Here do something useful and look over this data for me, my eyes are dying.” Tim said pushing his laptop towards his partner, his vision was blurring a bit from sustained glaring at the screen.
“Can I?” Jason made a hand motion while waving a folded piece of paper, “I work better on hard copy.” He started unfolding the paper, it was a map.
“Do whatever,” Tim shrugged, so long as it was work on the case and not freaking out about market values of their homes.
Jason quickly tacked the map up on the cork board and pulled out a box of sewing pins from a drawer, he went back and forth from computer to map, changing colors of pins for different types of data.
“Green for deaths, blue for arrests, yellow for unsubstantiated rumors.” Jason explained as he went. Tim started seeing the pattern long before Jay finished. The data points made three multi-colored circles. One centered in their new neighborhood, one centered on the college campus and the last centered on a shopping district not far from them.
“Would they be stupid enough to deal out of their own home?” Tim asked.
“Those data points were the oldest,” Jason told him, “maybe they started that way and wised up.”
“We’ll get Steph to keep an eye out, she’s already at the college everyday anyway.” Tim said, “It’s looking like we’ll have to go talk to our neighbors.” Tim said, twisting his lips, ugh, he hated to socialize, especially with suburban yuppies.
It seems they weren’t going to have to go to the neighbors, the neighbors were coming to them. The bell rang while Tim and Jay were busy fitting in a workout, okay Tim was most busy ogling Jason while he worked out. Jason wasn’t really boyfriend material but that didn’t stop him from being hot. Whatever.
Jason wiped the sweat from his face with his shirt, exposing perfect abs. Tim shook his head and went for the door.
There was a couple waiting on the other side. Younger but not as young as Tim, the dark haired woman carried what looked like a casserole, and the light haired woman carried a plate of cookies.
“Hi!” They said together. Tim put on a chipper smile.
“Hello.”
“We’re your neighbors, I’m Tracy, this is Alicia,” the blonde said.
“Nice to meet you, I’m Tim, and this,” he said gesturing to the sweaty Jason who had just approached, “is Jason, sorry we were working out, forgive the smell.” The couple laughed.
“Well don’t leave them on the stoop honey, please come in ladies.” Jason said, reminding Tim of his manners. They led the couple through the house and into the kitchen, Jason reached out to take the casserole dish.
“It’s tater tot hotdish,” Alicia said, at least Tim thought the brunette was Alicia.
“Licia’s from the Midwest, every casserole has tater tots,” Tracy said as an aside, Alicia elbowed her gently. “These are chocolate chip.” Tim took the cookies and placed them on the counter.
“I love tater tots, and chocolate chips, you gals might just win the award for favorite neighbor.” Jason joked. It was always strange watching Jason interact with others, the surly coating cracked leaving well behaved and jovial insides.
“Oh cool, is there a trophy?” Alicia asked with a smile.
“I’ll make one up for you.” Jason retorted, and Tim plastered on a smile, while moving closer to Jay. Without thought Jason slipped his arm around Tim’s shoulders and Tim slid his arm around Jason’s waist.
“So what’s the neighborhood really like? All we have is the propaganda from the realtor.” Tim asked.
“Everyone is pretty nice actually, very accepting,” Tracy said, throwing a knowing glance at Tim and Jason’s closeness. “We’re actually having a block party this upcoming weekend, so you’ll get to meet everyone.”
“Is that safe?” Jason asked in concern, it was a valid question, parties like that would attract the wrong sort of attention and quickly.
“Oh, yeah, we do it a couple times a year, we’ve never had a problem, just some sunburn and a hangover.” Tracy joked.
“We just left downtown, we’re still getting used to suburban life.” Tim explained to a concerned looking Alicia.
“Is it really that bad?” She asked, oh right, from the Midwest.
“There are gangs, and rogues, and bats; parties can attract some bad attention.” Jason explained, Alicia shivered. “It’s alright though, most of that stuff stays downtown.” He tried to console her with a soft smile.
They stayed a few more minutes giving more information about the block party before leaving. Tim demanded they drug test the food before eating it, but saw Jason shove a cookie in his mouth while the tests were still running.
“That was sweet of them,” Jason remarked after a serving of the casserole, the tests had come back clean. “My neighbors across the hall when I was a kid used to make huge batches of tamales once a month and shared them with us, always thought that was nice.” Tim couldn’t say he’d ever received food from neighbors, but it was a nice gesture.
The block party rolled around and they were no closer to catching the masterminds behind the new drug than they were when they moved to the suburbs.
Jason had been slaving all morning on the dishes he was bringing to the party, he’d signed up on the neighborhood website, what even? Tim mostly sat on a kitchen barstool and offered to taste test. He knew he should be working but the allure of spending time with Jason while he was so focused was too strong.
Right now, he was focused on getting the crumbled bacon to stick to the sides of the jalapeno popper cheese ball. So hot, Tim thought idly. He'd always been a fan of a focused Jason. He got so intense, eyes bright, lips bitten, energy just waiting to burst from his skin. Tim really wanted to be the thing Jason was focused on.
Jason juggled the cheeseball and baked beans while Tim focused on carrying a whip cream covered monstrosity of a berry shortcake.
“Oh, so pretty,” Alicia said as he placed the cake carefully on the dessert table.
“All Jason, I had nothing to do with it,” Tim said, waving a hand towards his fake husband. Tim noticed Jason talking with an older lady, she wore skin tight clothing and had too much makeup on.
“Ooh boy, you should go rescue him, Julia is a bit of a cougar.” Alicia said with a laugh, Tim smiled tightly before strolling over to Jason and Julia. Jason was very obviously fake laughing at something she had said, Tim could tell he was uncomfortable.
“Hey baby, Alicia loved your cake,” Tim interjected himself between the two forcing Jason’s arm around his shoulders and he placed a proprietary hand on Jason’s chest.
“Great, Timmy, love, this is Julia, she’s four houses down.” Jason said, relaxing under Tim’s hand. Julia looked him over sharply before dismissing him, Tim struggled not to huff or do something possessive like suck a hickey onto Jason’s neck right there.
“Like I said, you’re welcome to come over anytime, I could always use the company.” Julia practically purred, Tim definitely heard the emphasis on the you. He narrowed his eyes and shimmied even closer to Jay.
With one last full body once over Julia left them alone. Jason trailed his hand down from Tim’s shoulder, over his arm and wrapped it tightly around his waist.
“Jealous darling?” Jason teased.
“She looked like she wanted to eat you alive.” Tim stated, he was just being accommodating of Jason and his uncomfortableness, that’s all, he wasn’t jealous.
“Aren’t husbands notorious for fucking the babysitter?” Jason asked with an unrepentant grin. Tim didn’t hesitate to elbow him in the diaphragm.
“Yeah the babysitter, not grandma.” Tim grumbled.
“Don’t be ageist, maybe I’m into older women.” Jason said, still grinning, and rubbing his stomach from Tim’s pointy elbows.
“As long as you’re still into me lover,” Tim said in a saccharine voice. Jason’s look was blazing.
“Always.”
They separated not long after that, which was good because Tim was getting a little hot under the collar from Jason’s words and his hands all over him.
Tim spent most of his time with the other menfolk, talking about their white collar jobs, Tim downplayed his role at WE, but still made himself sound impressive. He just couldn’t see any of these men making and distributing narcotics on their off time, honestly none of them seemed smart enough to have evaded the Bats for this long.
He really wanted to go hang with the teenagers who were doing skateboard tricks in the cul-de-sac but that would definitely blow his cover.
“Then Molly starts taking all these supplements and vitamins, for god knows what, but suddenly there’s a salad for dinner every night and all of our food is organic. I miss meatloaf night.” One of the men lamented.
“You aren’t a health nut are you Tim?” Another of the guys asked.
“Hell no, that’s Jason, he’s always working out, drinks more protein shakes than he eats food.” Several of the men looked over at Jason, who was hanging with the ladies from next door.
“Well, it works for him,” the guy conceded. Tim nodded and blushed.
“I’m just worried about where she’s getting these things from, what kind of scam…” the original guy continues but Tim is struck with inspiration and stops listening. Maybe they're distributing the drugs as supplements or vitamins. That would be one way to stay under the radar.
Tim excused himself for a bathroom break, then snuck into the guy’s house and collected one of each other supplements for testing. He returned to the party just in time for dessert, Jason had thoughtfully saved him some cake and a few cookies.
“These are cranberry macadamia nut.” Tim said.
“Yeah, you said they were your favorite,” Jason said absentmindedly. Tim had said that, a throw away line in the grocery store, he hadn’t expected Jason to remember. Tim smiled and fed Jason a bite of cookie.
“They are the best aren’t they,” Jason just hummed around his mouthful.
In the end he did have a sunburn, and a busted lead. The supplement’s were clean but he’d gotten to spend the day with Jason, so it wasn’t all bad.
Tim got home late, undercover or not he still had to make appearances at WE. He turned by the door to kick off his shoes and noticed a new bench, their shoes lined up neatly underneath. He shrugged and lined up his shoes with the others.
He looked in the kitchen and living room, but no Jason, he was a little bummed, he’d come to really enjoy their late night conversations. He made his way to his room and noticed the light on. He slunk into the room on silent socked feet, head on a swivel, he checked the closet and under the bed but found nothing. Then he noticed the window open, he went to close it but saw a shadow out on the roof.
“Jason?” He called out.
“Yeah, it’s just me.” Jason answered back, Tim climbed out the window and onto the roof, taking a seat to Jason’s left.
“What are you doing out here?” Tim inquired, Jason was just lying back on the roof completely relaxed.
“Listening,” he responded. Tim paused and strained his ears but aside from some wildlife he heard nothing of interest.
“Listening to what, I don’t hear anything,” Tim complained.
“Exactly,” Jason said, “no screaming, no sirens, no car alarms, no traffic, just crickets and bird call. I’ve never been so relaxed in my life.” He did look extraordinarily peaceful, facial features relaxed from their normal scowl. He looked beautiful in the moonlight.
“Oh, that is nice I suppose,” Tim said, playing with the edge of his shirt, trying to keep his thoughts off of the moonlight all together. Jason reached over and tugged Tim down so he was lying next to him.
“Look,” he said pointing towards the heavens, “actual stars, I haven’t been able to see those in Gotham since I lived at the manor. It’s beautiful.” Tim was too busy taking in the expression of wonder on Jay’s face to look at the stars.
“Yeah, it is.” He snuggled closer to Jason, finally turning his gaze upwards, Jason shifted and reached behind Tim to slip his arm under his head. Tim, who had always enjoyed a good cuddle, threw an arm over Jason’s middle and sighed.
“How was work?” Jason asked after a few silent moments.
“Boring, same as always, what did you do today?”
“Went to the shopping center from the map, had a look around, didn’t really see anything though.” Jason said, rubbing aimless circles on Tim’s arm.
“Is that where the bench came from?” Tim asked.
“Yep, couldn’t hang around the shops all day without buying anything, I thought it looked nice, I’ll probably take it with me when we leave, the house on Dustin could use a bench in the entry.” Jason explained, Tim listened more to the cadence of his voice than the words, it was lulling him to sleep.
“It looked nice,” Tim responded a little late.
“You’ll never believe it but I went on a run at dusk and didn’t get mugged.” Jason said in excitement. That was surprising. “You should come with me tomorrow.”
“The only time I run is when I’m chasing a perp,” Tim explained, “or being chased.” He conceded. Jason huffed out a little laugh. They lay there in silence for a long time before Jay spoke again, Tim was hovering between sleep and awake, drifting close to the sleep side though.
“This is nice, we should get together like this when we get back home.” Tim didn’t respond with words, just a little hum, he felt Jason shift. “I better get you to bed,” Tim thought he heard.
He remembered feeling a kiss being pressed to his forehead but nothing else.
Tim got back from the hardware store, Jason had said something about needing a drill, to an empty house. He checked everywhere but no husband, fake husband, whatever. He got a little cranky, he was looking forward to handyman Jason. Images of tight jeans pulled down by the weight of a tool belt and sweaty skin entered his mind.
It was hours before Jason got home. He came in carrying bags and laughing at something on his phone.
“Where have you been?” Tim asked in a pinched tone. Jason looked up and tilted his head curiously.
“Book club, then I went to lunch with Diana and Katie, then we had to hit the new Target, I got a few things.” Jason said, setting his bags down.
“You know this isn’t real right? Like this isn’t our actual life, they aren’t your actual friends.” Tim said a little on the mean side. If he thought about it Jason didn’t have friends in his real life, but Tim bit his tongue on that thought. Jason looked a little hurt by Tim’s tone but didn’t say anything back right away. He blew out a breath first, shoulder’s slumping.
“Maybe I want it to be.” He said finally.
“What do you mean?” Tim asked curiously.
“I have friends that like me for me, not for what I can do for them. We have a nice home that I feel proud of, I have a regular schedule. I have an adoring husband. Maybe this is the realest I’ve felt in a long time.” Jason said quietly.
“We’re going to leave eventually Jay, I don’t want you to be heartbroken when we do.” Tim tried to explain.
“Too late,” he said in a barely audible voice before taking his bags and leaving the room.
Tim let everything settle for a little while, not wanting to hurt Jason’s feelings any more than he already had. How strange that sentiment was, when this started he wouldn’t have cared in the least. It had been two months, only two months and he had fallen completely in love with his fake husband. God, what was he going to do?
Two options really, hide or admit his feelings. Instinct said hide, but Jason’s words from earlier gave him some hope, as did a faintly remembered forehead kiss. He went to find Jason.
“I can’t give you all those things, I mean I could buy you a nicer house I suppose, but I can’t make you friends.” Tim started, already flubbing his lines. “Sorry, I got that all twisted, what I mean to say is when we get back you might not have an adoring husband anymore, but you could have an adoring boyfriend, if you wanted.” Tim trailed off, fingers locked together, bottom lip firmly bitten down on.
Jason looked up at him from where he’d been reading on the chaise in his room. He smiled a little.
“That was super awkward babe. But yeah, I’d like that.” Tim laughed in relief and then made his way over to his new boyfriend. He sat on the end of the chaise, but Jason pulled him up until he was settled between his legs. Tim leaned back and relaxed into Jason’s embrace.
They stayed there for another month, getting nowhere on the case, but falling more and more in love. It was Steph who cracked it actually. The culprit was Julia’s daughter, a spoiled chemistry major who got mad when her father left. The income in the family got cut in half and Julia couldn’t afford all the things the girl thought she deserved.
So she started manufacturing drugs in her basement while her mother swanned around looking for a new husband to take off some financial strain. Julia disowned her daughter when the news came out, and soon enough she was relocating out of the neighborhood.
They waited a few more weeks before leaving, partly to not look suspicious and partly to keep their honeymoon stage bubble.
Jason commuted to the suburbs for book club. They moved into a nicer condo downtown, Jason brought the bench for the entryway. And Tim took him shopping to decorate in a way he could be proud of.
They may not have cracked the case but it definitely wasn’t a waste of time.