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Rafael never really liked winter in NY, but the city was very beautiful at Christmas with all the decorations and the snow falling, it was the exact scene you saw in the movies. And he came back, and he had been in town since the holidays. She had decided to spend a few more days with her Mother, who needed legal advice for her NGO that supports young people who have suffered abuse and lost the direction of their lives, the NGO helps with professional courses, so that they can regain ownership of their lives. lives. Rafael put her in touch with the right people, with important names in New York society, leveraging the project to get off the ground.
After Lucia decided to retire as a school principal, she talked to her son about this possibility and, even before leaving the Public Prosecutor's Office, he encouraged her and helped put the project into practice. Lucia was very proud of her son, she ended up meeting many good people who donate time to the young people and also help financially speaking as well.
Rafael didn't expect that his life would change drastically...
**Flash Back
On a beautiful cold morning in January, Rafael had woken up early and made breakfast for them, he had some things to analyze and discuss with his mother and her two friends, who together ran the NGO Esperanza.
Rb_ Good morning, Mami! Everything is ready. I've already eaten, and now I'm going to take a shower so we can go out. - he noted that she was serious, which normally didn't happen - Are you okay? Do you feel anything?
Lb_ Good morning, Mijo! I have a really bad headache. I'm going to have this nice breakfast and then some aspirin so I can get better. - and she approached him and gave him a kiss
Rb _ Okay.. I won't be long!
Soon Rafael was ready, and his mother was already waiting for him. They arrived at headquarters, and went to their mother's room.
Lb_ Good morning, Isabel and Teresa!! Good, we can start our meeting soon. Rafi, you have some things to attend to and I don't want to keep you here all day.
Rb_ Mami, you know it's nothing urgent. I can explain everything that Rita left prepared, clear up doubts without rushing.
Lb_ You're a good man, piss. - the meeting went smoothly, he explained how to proceed so that donations are made and how to account for everything. In short, Rita, as always, did a beautiful job. She joined Lúcia on the project, just before the Pandemic, which was good, as Rafael was in Iowa and returning to NY was difficult, respecting all security measures. That was when Rita was responsible for helping with the legal part and Rafael occasionally helped, mainly with the procedural part.
After having lunch with his mother, Rafael had a meeting with new clients. He now worked in business and employment law, occasionally family law and of course took on pro bono cases, now that he had the time.
He and Rita had become partners, she worked in NY and he was in Washington, he decided to move a year ago, but whenever new clients appeared, Rafael liked to deal with them personally and see if it was really worth representing them or not.
His phone just rang..
Rb_ Holla, Isabel!?
Isa_ Rafi!? Her mother is not well at all, she had complained earlier of a headache and took the medicine thinking it would go away, but we found Lucia passed out in the bathroom and so we called 911.. We are on our way to Calvary Hospital. - while listening to Isabel, Rafael signaled for a taxi
Rb_ Mr. To Calvary Hospital, as fast as you can. - the taxi driver signaled understanding - Tell me, did she wake up, Isabel?
Isa_ No, your blood pressure is too high. We're coming soon, I'll give you news soon.
Rb_ Yes, please, Isabel. I'll be there soon. - he hung up the phone with a heavy heart
When Rafael arrived at the Hospital, Isabel was in the waiting room and was praying.
Rb_ Isabel, any news!?
Isa_ The doctor suspects a stroke, and took her, she is in the operating room. - Rafael felt as if the ground was opening up under his feet - As soon as they have news, they'll let us know.
Rb_ How can it be... Mami, you are healthy and follow all the recommendations. - he couldn't believe it - I need to make a call. -he got up and called Rita...
Rc_ Don't tell me she misses you!? -he answered laughing .. but, when Rafael didn't answer - Rafael!? - then he sniffed - What's going on, talk to me Rafael!!
Rb_ Mami, suffered a stroke, Rita. She is in surgery right now. - he couldn't hold back the tears - What should I do?
Rc_ Calm down, Rafael! Lucia is strong... Where are you? - she heard her sobs
Rb_ We are at Calvary Hospital.
Rc_ Are you alone?
Rb_ No, Isabel is here.. She was at the NGO, Isabel found her passed out in the bathroom and brought her in the ambulance.
Rc_ Ok, I'm coming back. John is off duty, I'll ask to come to you. And don't protest... please! I'll be there in a few hours. And if you have news, let me know. - they hung up, and Rita immediately called her husband John Miller-Smith, renowned cardiologist. Then he called Jack McCoy and Carisi. She was taking a few days off at her mansion in the Hamptons.
John arrived as quickly as he could... On the way, he managed to speak with a friend who was on duty and learned that Lucia Barba's condition was extremely serious.
Jms_ Rafael.. Hey, I managed to talk to a friend, she is in good hands, it was a clot that broke in her brain and the surgery is to stop the bleeding. - Rafael sat down again, with his hands on his head.
Rb_ She woke up with a very strong headache, but thought an aspirin would do the trick. Do you think if we had come earlier, the picture would have been different?
Jms_ Hard to say, Rafael! Don't think about it. It could happen to any of us. I know that Lucia has always been very careful with her health. - he sat next to him - Hey, you know we're with you, right! Rita, she's coming back, if she had a plane she would have landed here by now.
Rb_ I know.. And thank you for everything... - he was worried, he couldn't think what to do next. Then he spotted Amanda
Ar_ Barba.. Any news?? -and she hugged him
Rb_ How did you know?
Ar_ Rita, called Sonny, who is stuck on a case, who in turn called me and I came running. He'll be here soon.
Rb_ Nothing new. Ah Amanda, this is John Rita's husband, and a great friend. John, this Amanda friend and wife of Carisi. - they greeted each other - And John here, found out that the condition is serious, hemorrhagic stroke.
Jms_ I'll try to find out something else, excuse me. - Rafael shook his head.
Rb_ Shouldn't you be teaching??
Ar_ No, there was a class at night, but I warned them that I couldn't, a family problem. - she smiled at him - Don't worry, it was proof, so I'm sure everyone is relieved. Did you bring it?
Rb_ No, I was with her all morning and after lunch, I had two meetings. And as I was leaving the last customer, Isabel called me on her way here.
Ar_ And where is Isabel?
Rb_ She is in the Chapel, praying. - he sighed - What am I going to do, Rollins??
Ar_ Wait.. - While they waited, Amanda sent several messages. McCoy arrived and was talking to Rafael, John didn't get any updates, Carisi arrived and brought Rafael coffee.
Doc_ Lucia Barba's Family!?
Rb_ Here! I'm the son, Rafael Barba! - he was apprehensive - So, how is she?
Doc_ Mr. Barba, I'm Dr. Roberts. We did everything possible to stop the bleeding, but the extent of the clot was large. She's in ICU and the next few hours are important.
Rb_ She'll wake up, right!?
Doc_ We don't know the affected areas. We're monitoring his vital signs and brain activity. Let's wait for the next few hours.
Rb_ Can I see her??
Doc_ The nurse will take you, but only 5 minutes, Mr. Barba.
Enf_ Mr. Barba, my name is Jay, and I will be responsible for monitoring his mother. If you want, you can talk to her, I'll be right back to monitor her.
Rb_ Mami, it's me, Rafi! You can't leave me... who's gonna put me back on track? I need you to say what I need to hear and what I don't want to see. What am I going to do without you!? - and more tears ran down her face. The 5 minutes had passed and the nurse returned.
Enf_ Mr. Barba, I need you to leave now. We will take care of her. Soon we will have a new bulletin.
Rb_ Thank you. Mami, I'll be here. I'll just go out with you. Te quiero, Mami! - he left and removed the gown, which he had to put on to enter the ICU. Rita had arrived and came to meet him to hug him
Rc_ Rafi.. I'm here! - there, he collapsed - My dear, cry.. And how is she? - he replied after hiccuping
Rb_ They made everything possible. She's intubated, and... she doesn't look well at all.
Rc_ She will get out of this. Come on, did you eat!?
Rb_ Not hungry. - Amanda gave him a bottle of water
Ar_ You need to hydrate and eat. Go with Rita to the cafeteria. If there's news, I'll come after you.
Jmc_ Yes, Rafael.. you have to be strong to take care of her. - he shook his head and followed with Rita.
He just nibbled on the croissant, he felt nauseous. When he returned, Jack had to go back to the forum, as had Carisi. Isabel returned to Esperanza to report on Lucia's state of health.
John was always looking for updates. Until midnight there was no change. Rita and John went to Lucia's apartment to bring them clothes. And Amanda stayed with Rafael.
Rb_ You should be at home, with Carisi and the girls. Soon Rita will be back.
Ar_ None of that, I am where I need to be and want to be.
Rb_ Thank you, Amanda!
They saw movement, and went to the ICU reception... it was not possible to see which unit was the emergency room. But Rafael felt a tightness in his heart, his body went rigid, his breathing accelerated... And when the door opened, Dr. Roberts came towards him, while Rafael retreated a few steps back...
Rb_ No, no, no... - whispered
Doc_ Mr. Barba, I'm sorry. Your mother, had a new bleeding and pressure spike, and unfortunately we couldn't reduce it, and her heart suffered a stop. - he walked away, and when his back hit the nearby wall, he slid down until he landed in a sitting position.. crying like never before. Amanda asked if he could see her before the body went down to the morgue, the doctor said yes.
Ar_ Rafael.. would you like to say goodbye, before she comes down? - he raised his head, face washed in tears, eyes and nose red - I'll go with you, come! -she said she extending her hand to him.
When they entered, Lucia no longer had the tubes or accesses for medication and serum. He hugged her body, and repeated how much he loved his mother..
Rb_ I promise to continue being the man you raised me to be, and I will see to it that Esperanza follows as you envisioned. Te quiero, Mami! Give a hug from me to abuelita and abuelito. - he got up - You can take it. - he said, squeezing her hand as a sign of a final goodbye.
** End of flashback
The funeral was simple, and full of friends, teachers and former students, many of Rafael's friends showed up, Esperanza's space was ideal, as Lúcia's apartment would not accommodate everyone.
Rita had been sleeping with Rafael, in Lucia's apartment, as he insisted on organizing everything that belonged to her mother and some things he would keep in his deposit, the rest would be sold and the sum reverted to Esperanza.
He was on autopilot, and that was what Rita was afraid of. He would return to Washington shortly. Lucia had no will, she always made her wishes clear to him, what she should do with the apartment, bank account and now with the NGO Esperanza.
Amanda, Carisi, Jack, Rita, John, Eddie, Carmen and a few other friends... were Rafael's support network, he couldn't be more grateful.
Most of the people had already left, and Carisi found him in Lucia's office, sitting in the chair looking at the horizon.
C_ Hey, Rafael... We're on our way. Tomorrow I need to finalize the Oscar Papa deal.
Rb_ BX9, right!?
C_ Yes, we managed to catch him.
Rb_ That's good. The streets of the Bronx will look a little better now. And congratulations, Carisi! - he got up and stopped - In the next few days I'll be at Rita's house, and the other questions she and Carmen will take care of the missing details, the rest is on track. And I'm going back to Washington next week, but first I'd like to have dinner with you and Amanda and the girls.
C_ Of course, just say when. And Rafael, you know that we are here for whatever you need, wherever you are... We will come to you. - Rafael gave her a hug.
Rb_ Thanks, Sonny! Really, your support was very important to me.
C_ You would do the same for us!
The following week, Carisi was in his office on the phone and heard someone knock, it was Olivia. He had called her in to discuss their current case, he motioned for her to enter.
C_ Yes Barba, I'll let Amanda know and we'll see you later. They will love it too. Goodbye. - he put the phone on the table - Liv, we need to go over some details.. - he lifted his head and looked at her - Is everything okay? - she opened her mouth a few times, as if choosing her next words.
Ob_ Were you talking to Rafael?
C_ Well, yes... Let's have dinner with him tonight. - she shook her head in understanding.
Ob_ How is he?
C_ He's been through some rough times in the last month, but he's going to be fine.
Ob_ What happened? Why didn't you say anything?
C_ Liv, it was right around the time of the events with Oscar Papa, and you had a lot on your mind, you had Noah and... - he hesitated
Ob_ And what Carisi!?
C_ Nothing.. - they were interrupted by the secretary, warning that Mrs. Maxwell needed to speak with him and it was urgent - Liv, I'll stop by the PD tomorrow to go over what I need for the trial. - he grabbed some papers from his desk and left, leaving an unresponsive Olivia behind
Olivia returned to the PD sad and furious..
Ob_ Fin, can you come over here!? -and entered her room, while Fin came running after her
Fin_ What's going on, Boss? - asked as soon as she noticed her face.
Ob_ Have you heard anything about Barba in the last few days? - she saw surprise on Fin's face
Fin_ What do you mean? - he wisely wanted to know what ground he was treading on, Olivia in turn realized that Fin knew something
Ob_ I just came from Carisi, and he was on the phone with Barba, and when I asked him how he was doing, Carisi just tried to deflect, said he just had a bad time, but he'll be fine. So I ask you: What's going on?
Fin_ Look, just for the record, I found out last week, and I warned you that if you asked I wouldn't hide it. Barba's mother passed away, it was around the same time that we were hunting Oscar Papa. Rafael was still in town, and he still had a few moments with her before everything happened. What I do know is it was a stroke, she was hospitalized, but she couldn't resist. The funeral was a few days later, and that's it.
Ob_ And why didn't anyone tell me?
Fin_ Rita, asked Amanda and Carisi, not to comment on anything because you had your own problems and you had to how to take care of yourself and Noah too, and... Well, she didn't want Rafael to know what was going on with you, he had his own share of pain to deal with, he couldn't be in two places at once... And she heard you had Stabler with you and Noah, she didn't want Rafael to suffer any more.
Ob_ I wish I had known, regardless of what we were doing, Fin. Rafael was... he IS my friend.
Fin_ Really, Liv? Have you even thought about everything that happened between you two? In my opinion he did the right thing, and I would have done the same in his place, you know!? Back in the day, you fought and days later you were fine. Did you know he visited Mickey in prison? Did everything possible to make him as comfortable as possible in there!? He's a good man. Sometimes he strays a little out of the way, but aren't we all like that?
You know I don't mind anyone's business, Rafael was never my favorite person, but he was always by your side, and sought justice as much as you do. I noticed that he had a soft spot for you, and defending his friends, but mostly protecting them from themselves is part of that relationship. You may not even like it, after all, nobody wants someone to fight their battles, but sometimes you have to... It's necessary! Like when you went to McCoy to defend Barba, he didn't ask you, and you still did.
Rafael needed you, Olivia. Amanda told me that she had never seen him so exposed, fragile... He lost everything. And Rita, she's been glued to him these last few weeks, afraid he's going to do something stupid. But he's already sorted out what's pending here, leaving Rita and Carmen to take care of the rest, and he's returning home the day after tomorrow.
Ob_ What do you mean returning home? Doesn't he live here in NY?
Fin_ No.. he's been living in Washington since last year.
Ob_ I didn't know.
Fin_ That's what I know.. I didn't tell you before, because it wasn't my story, you're adults and you should know what you do for a living.
Ob_ Thank you, Fin. - and before he leaves his room - Do you know where he is staying?
Fin_ I thought you were a detective, Boss! - and left the room
Rafael was waiting for Carisi, Amanda and the girls at Cantina Rooftop. During that time he answered some outstanding emails and messages.. since his mother's death, he hasn't picked up the phone.. He didn't want to hear people condolences to him, or asking how he was doing, so there were a lot of messages and calls. lost. Including messages from Noah, which he responded to by apologizing for not responding earlier, and briefly explaining why he disappeared.
Since he got back from the Hamptons, Rafael had been in a hotel at Hell's Kitchen - Ink 48 Hotel, even though Rita wanted to put him close to her, he preferred to spend those days alone. He returned to attend a few meetings at the office, and he was more than ready to go back and do what he loved most.
Jes_ Uncle Rafa!! - he had spotted the family and had risen to greet them
Rb_ Hey, you are getting bigger and prettier every day. I miss you!! - he said hugging Jesse and Billie
Ar_ Sorry for the delay, Rafael! - she said as he hugged him too.
Rb_ No problem, while waiting I ventured into non-alcoholic drinks. - he said laughing - So, how are you!? - he asked, sitting down next to the girls. They began to tell their adventures and friendships, activities, books and movies they had seen.. They took the opportunity to order, Amanda accompanied the girls to the bathroom.
C_ Rafael, when we spoke this afternoon, Olivia walked into my office and kind of heard the end of our call.
Rb_ And what's the problem?
C_ She asked about you, and...
Rb_ And you tried to stall as long as you could not to talk about me, was that right? Because Rita asked not to say anything to Olivia. - Carisi looked confused
C_ Did you know!?
Rb_ I suspected, Rita has been very overprotective of me, since I resigned from the prosecution, and now more than ever.. Anyway, I won't deny that I missed her a lot in those days, but she had her own battles. She got hurt, and it hurt not being able to be with her, I asked John to check her health with the hospital... I knew that Noah was safe, and what made me a little calmer, that and knowing that she had you, Fin, the squad and Stabler with her.
C_ How did you know?
Rb_ I know people, Carisi. Mami, wanted me to go to the hospital where she was, but I preferred to keep my distance. And the outcome of the process, I found out from Jack. Nice work, Carisi. You scored with him, you know? - the girls returned to the table and dinner was served.
The conversation was lively, it was a happy night for him, after all he was among friends.
Ar_ You'll be back soon, right?
Rb_ I don't know how often, but Rita's intention is to make me come every 2 months or sooner that.
Ar_ Promise that when you're in town, you'll let us know and visit us?
Rb_ I promise! - he hugged Amanda - Thank you very much for everything, you are a good friend. - then turned to the girls - I promise video call with you girls, and you can always call me. - they smiled and each gave Rafael a kiss
C_ Hey, this is just a see you later, right!? Who's gonna pick on me now?
Rb_ Right, I'm close, if you need I'll be back in a few hours. And, you're on the right track Carisi, keep it up. I know I'm still going to hear a lot of good things about you. Just a tip, leave work at work. - Carisi was moved by his words
Rafael stood waving as he watched them go. He crossed the street and entered the Hotel, went to reception to check if he had any messages, and asked if The Press Lounge was open, decided to go to The Press Lounge and have a drink before returning to his room.
And enjoying the breathtaking view of the city, he would miss NY, so he chose a sofa near the balcony. Soon the waiter came with his order, today until the movement was calm, he received an email from his client, who forwarded it to Carmen to verify the documentation sent...
Ob_ Hello! - due to the music, he didn't recognize the voice, so he raised his head
Rb_ Olivia!? How did you…" - she cut him off.
Ob_ Did you know you were here? Well, I'm a well-trained detective... Can I sit down? - she asked pointing to the place next to him
Rb_ Yes.. Of course. - he didn't expect to see Olivia again, he wanted to be able to say that her presence didn't affect him, but it was the opposite.. His heart was racing, hands sweating, mouth dry - What are you doing here, Captain? - he finally asked, taking a sip of his drink.
Ob_ I needed to talk to you. I know it's been a while since we've seen each other...
Rb_ More than a few months!? But who's counting? - it was his turn to interrupt - You don't owe me anything, Olivia... So, let's skip that part, please. You're here because you heard Carisi this afternoon, and he must have tried his best not to say anything, but you found out my mother passed away... Am I right? - she seemed surprised by Rafael's posture
Ob_ Yes.. I'm so sorry, Rafael! I had no idea, I wish I could have been with you.. I imagine how difficult it is.
Rb_ Thank you.. - he replied without even looking at her
Ob_ Why didn't you call me?
Rb_ I had no mind for anything other than focusing on my mother, on my pain. Rita, took the lead and took care of everything, spoke to people, took care of me. My phone has been off since it happened, I see I have several missed calls, messages and emails to respond to, including Noah. He must be pissed off at my silence. - he smiled sadly - I didn't know that Rita had asked for Carisi and Amanda's silence, but I suspected, because of the BX9 attack on you and Noah, and you needed to focus on the case... And I didn't want it to be the other way around form. - he said resolutely
Ob_ Ah.. - she hesitated a little before speaking - You know I would have gone to the hospital to see you, I would stay with you.. Wherever you were. - he shook his head negatively
Rb_ You needed to take care of Noah, take care of your family, and I know you wouldn't rest until you got everything sorted out and ensured Noah's safety.. and you did! - he signaled to the waiter for another drink
Ob_ Rafa.. You are also part of the family, you and Lucia. - hearing her call him Rafa broke his heart
Rb_ We were friends, Olivia.. - the waiter served your drink, and left - I also wanted to have known about the attack from you, if you were hurt, if it was serious, help with Noah.. But, I remembered that you don't need help or that they defend you, or at least not on my part, right!? Do you know how hard it was not to run to the hospital? But it was just a black eye and some ribs, right!? - he took his drink in one gulp, then looked at her, for the first time that night - I heard everything from third parties, because I care, and believe me it wasn't from Carisi or Amanda, I was happy that everything ended well, and during every situation you had Carisi, Fin and the squad, and I can't forget the Stabler, by your side...
Our trials happened practically at the same time, and we had to live them separately. - he got up without warning and went inside, signed the command and headed for the elevator. When the doors were closing, a hand stopped them, so Olivia entered the elevator.. the doors closed again.
Olivia looked at him.
Ob_ You're right, there were some people with me along the way, but there wasn't who I wanted most with me... Because I pushed him out of my life. - she took a step towards him - I meant it when I said you're family and would go wherever you were and needed someone...needed me. - the doors opened, it was his floor. Rafael didn't move, his hands were closed and he was squeezing his fingers, trying to control his emotions - I've never felt so scared in my life.. I missed you, I missed your words and your concern, your hug. -she touched his hand, he opened his hand, their fingers touched .. but Rafael pulled away.
Rb_ It's my floor. - he went to get out of the elevator - It's late, Olivia... go back to Noah. - he followed the hall, and heard the elevator close again. Then he could breathe again, and he felt the weight of his decision... moving away from Olivia seemed even harder tonight. He brought the key card to the door and placed his hand on the knob.
Ob_ Noah, is sleeping at his friend's house, tomorrow they will present a work and they needed to finish some details. - he huffed, she wasn't going to give up
Rb_ Won't let me go, will you!?
Ob_ No.. and it's not too late for us, Rafael. - she said, showing that she had understood what he said in the elevator
Rb_ Ok, you can enter. - the room had a terrace, he opened the door for her to sit and brought her a bottle of water - Yes, it's late, something broke between us, and you know it, don't you feel the same? - he remained standing
Ob_ I agree. But do you know what I'm seeing? I see my friend suffering, it hurts to lose someone.. - she saw an opening, got up and managed to get close enough to hug him - I'm here, Rafa.
He collapsed, there was the pain of losing his mother and longing for her lap, for everything he was going through, the longing and anger he felt at Olivia, anger at being in love with her. Gradually he calmed down, regaining control.
She didn't pull away, not even for a second. When he stopped crying, he loosened his hold and pulled away from her. He took the handkerchief he was carrying and wiped her face.
Ob_ Do you feel better? - he shook his head - Why don't you live in NY anymore?
Rb_ Since the innocence project, work opportunities have appeared far from here... and I have no reason to stay, not anymore.
Ob_ What about friends? And Noah? What about me?
Rb_ Friends know that if they need me, I'm a phone call away. Noah too. - he sighed - And you... are aware now.
Ob_ What if I need you in person? - she asked looking into his eyes.
Rb_ It won't..
Ob_ Rafael, look at me. - he was reluctant, but had to sustain her look - Never, never say that again. I need you more than I ever imagined.. I need you in my life.
Rb_ I can't be your friend anymore, Olivia. - she held her breath - I tried, and for many years it was enough, to be your friend. If you were happy, I was happy. But when I left, I realized that I wanted more, but I needed to feel good for that and I tried to be more, but I was very slow... the pandemic came and once again I missed the opportunity with the return of Stabler. We fight, and this time I'm not happy with just being your friend. I love you Olivia... I love you unconditionally. I love the woman you are!
I want and wish all the happiness for you, always!
But, I need to fall out of love with you. - she couldn't hold back the tears. He offered her the handkerchief
Ob_ You know, I'm not romantically involved with Elliot. I confess that I had a romantic idealization of him, more recently I realized that it was desire, an idealization.
I also realized that I really want a lot more for my life.
I want someone who stimulates and confronts me, who makes me furious, but who loves me especially when I least deserve it, makes me smile, understands me and puts me on track without fear of saying what he thinks. That I love my son and treat him with affection and love. - she approached him, eye to eye - May it be storm and calm, be strong and fragile, be real, be sincere, be love and affection, be light and my safe haven... be my friend, my lover, my partner, my balance, the reason I come home. - she put her hand on his face and caressed it, he closed his eyes - That look at me and see who I really am.. just Olivia. - her eyes opened, and for the first time she couldn't read his expression like she used to, she saw sadness in those green eyes, but she wanted to know what he was thinking
Rb_ What do you want from me, Olivia? - he moved closer, she could feel his breath
Ob_ I want you, Rafael. I want my friend back... I want to know more about the great man I know you are... I want everything... I love you, Rafa. I refused to believe that I was in love with you, I hid and buried this feeling because I believed that I didn't deserve it, I wasn't adequate and since I always ruined all my relationships, I didn't want to ruin it with what existed between us..
I'm sorry for being so blind, stubborn and proud. But please don't fall out of love with me, don't give up on us. - he held his breath, was it a hallucination? - It took me a long time to look for you, I know.. I thought about how to start this conversation so many times, but nothing seemed worthy of our story. So when I heard Carisi mention your name, I remembered your advice: "you can trust your instincts", and I decided to take a chance... for you.
Rb_ Are you sure!? Do you know how many times I imagined hearing that? -he took her hand and placed it where his heart is, and she could feel his racing heartbeat - My heart is broken, Olivia, and I don't know if it can handle it..
Ob_ I've never been so sure of anything in my life! It must have been true that day you said goodbye to me. - she took his other hand, so that he could feel the mismatch he caused in her heart - I want to give you my heart, be with you body and soul. Let me heal your heart.
She was close enough for the next step.. Kissing Rafael was beyond what she expected, he didn't respond at first, but after a few seconds his lips returned a tender kiss, his lips were soft, his beard scratched slightly, his intoxicating smell was a combination of woodsy perfume and soap.
He would be lying if he said that he never imagined or dreamed of a moment like this.. The reality was certainly much better than any dream. Air became necessary for them, panting, eyes still closed and foreheads close, her arms around his neck and his hands one on her neck and the other on her back.
Rafael hugged Olivia, planted a few kisses on her neck and absorbed the aroma that emanated from her, it was sweet… His kisses sent chills through Olivia, making her gasp.
Rb_ Olivia - he said in a whisper, then moved away to look at her - Dios.. how I love you!!
Ob_ I love you Rafa!! - she caressed his face, she noticed the dark circles under his eyes - You look tired.
Rb_ While I was a prosecutor, I started to suffer from insomnia, after Drew I started to have nightmares and then depression, anxiety and panic attacks... After Mami... well, the insomnia got worse, the nightmares came back and I'm depressed again. Tired is a compliment to how I look, and the understatement of the century for how I feel. - she took his hand and walked into the room.
Ob_ Come, you need to rest. - and helped take off his jacket, he went to his suitcase, grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a blouse and went to the bathroom, when he returned he offered Olivia his pajamas to make her feel more comfortable, soon she joined him in bed. She laid her head on his shoulder, hand on his chest - Better!?
Rb_ A lot! Tomorrow is my last day in the city. - he placed his hand over hers
Ob_ I know. But, I don't want to think about tomorrow. I want to think about today, about what I'm living now, here with you.
Rb_ Will you still be here when you wake up? - he looked her in the eyes
Ob_ Yes.. After all, we have a promise to keep. - he looked confused - What are you going to be doing at 85, Rafael?
Rb_ Arguing with you!? - replied smiling
Ob_ Some promises are worth keeping. - and gave him a chaste kiss - Good night, Rafa.
Rafael fell asleep with a smile on his face. Olivia fell asleep then, in the arms of the man she chose to love so many years ago. The next day reserved for them the beginning of a new journey, together!
The End