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It was raining when Kaveh came back home. Well, he probably shouldn't call that place 'home' anymore since he's almost done moving out. It's a matter of habit. Probably that's the last time he will open that place with his own key – he just needs to grab the last of his stuff, and that would be it. He won't bother Alhaitham any longer.
Soaked in water, Kaveh steps inside, closing the door behind him. It's dark inside, no lights are on. Is Alhaitham sleeping already? Perhaps, finally enjoying the silence.
A bitter smile appears on Kaveh's face and immediately fades when he hears a strange noise, muffled by the pouring rain. He listens closely while taking off his shoes and leaving them by the door.
He steps inside the living room – it's definitely coming from here, but there's no one in the room. Kaveh squints his eyes, navigating in the dark. The room seems empty, but the sound is still here, getting closer with every step. It sounds like a whimper or... a cry? But not quite.
Kaveh follows it, walking around the couch, and it strikes him, eyes widening, when he sees the source of the noises.
It was Alhaitham. Curled up in the corner between bookshelves, head pressed to the knees with arms clasped around them. Shaking like a wounded dog left outside on a cold winter night.
"Alhaitham...?"
Not even a second passes when Kaveh drops on his knees beside him, painfully hitting the floor, but that doesn't matter at the moment.
"Alhaitham! What happened?! Are you hurt?" He grabs Alhaitham's shoulders, trying to see any injuries on his body. There aren't any, at least Kaveh doesn't find them. Alhaitham doesn't react to his touch at all. He pants uncontrollably, his breaths erratic and disjointed, labored and irregular, as if his lungs were struggling to find a steady rhythm amidst the suffocating grip of panic, which slowly crawls into Kaveh's chest too, messing with his heartbeat.
Kaveh never saw Alhaitham like this. Surely something must have happened, something terrible.
Quick, but gentle, he raises Alhaitham's head, cupping his face with hands, still wet and cold after the rain.
Alhaitham isn't crying, but red eyes and salty threads of dried tears running down to his trembling chin clearly imply that he did. As if he didn't have any tears left to cry now.
Kaveh startles, looking into Alhaitham's eyes: unfocused, dark, and eyelids heavy.
"Your breathing... you're hyperventilating," Kaveh swallows a lump in his throat, brushing Alhaitham's cheekbones with his thumbs, not even sure if Alhaitham can hear or recognize him in that state, "Should I bring you some water, maybe a wet towel? Gods... what could possibly–"
He retracts his hands from Alhaitham's face, ready to go get him a glass of water, but is quickly stopped by something tugging on his sleeve. Looking down, he sees Alhaitham grabbing the clothes of his shirt with shaky fingers, the grip so weak but so desperate it makes Kaveh freeze on the spot for a moment before sitting back on the floor, a little bit closer to Alhaitham than before.
Hesitantly, he takes Alhaitham's hand, pressing it palm flat on his own chest, praying for his heartbeat to stabilize to be a good reference for Alhaitham's. With the other hand Kaveh caress Alhaitham's hair, then slowly pulling him down to rest on the spot between his chest and shoulder, softly cradling gray haired head.
Deep ragged exhales escaped from Alhaitham's lungs, as his whole body went limp, falling onto Kaveh, still shivering like an autumn leaf on the wind.
Kaveh's worrying thoughts were jumping one higher than the other, yet he tried his best to stay as calm as possible, to breath steady, hoping that Alhaitham will catch up with him. Instinctively he pressed his lips to man's forehead, but didn't stop himself and stayed like that for a while, sometimes breaking off to whisper words of comfort.
Some time has passed. Half an hour or so, probably more, it was hard to tell. The rain stoped. The glimpse of light from the street lamps shattered the dense darkness of the room. They were half-laying on the floor at this point. Kaveh's legs felt numb and he shifted a little, though he was more worried that Alhaitham's legs must be numb too. His clothes almost dried. Alhaitham visibly calmed down, now breathing slow and steady, with his eyes closed. Kaveh thought he might've fallen asleep when he finally heard his name being called.
"Kaveh..?", quiet and raspy, Kaveh barely recognized the voice of his roommate.
"Yes, It's me, I'm here," Kaveh muttered, stroking Alhaitham's shoulder with one hand, "Do you need anything? Water?"
Alhaitham slowly moved away from embrace. He dragged a palm over his weary face, his eyes finally looking like he's aware of the surrounding, and Kaveh let out a sigh of relief.
"Yes, please."
Kaveh nodded and stood up abruptly, his legs tingling with numbness as he headed towards the kitchen. When he came back Alhaitham was already sitting on the couch, one of the lamps illuminating the room. He sat near him, handing him a glass of water. Alhaitham grabbed it with both hands, greedily taking large sips. Kaveh patiently waited for him to finish, and only then hesitantly started asking questions.
"Are you okay? How are feeling?"
Alhaitham stared into the distance, probably analyzing his own condition, then simply concluded: "I'm okay."
"What happened?"
Silence hung between them for a moment.
"I can't tell you."
"What– Why?" Kaveh did not expect such a response, in this tone especially. He almost felt offended. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"I don't wanna bother you," Alhaitham was definitely avoiding eye contact with Kaveh, "Or your plans. Didn't you came here to grab your stuff?"
"What does it have to do with my– Alhaitham!" Kaveh threw up his hands with irritation in his voice, "Don't change the subject!"
"You should go /home/." Alhaitham stuttered at the last word, looking anywhere but in Kaveh's eyes.
"You– You don't tell me what to do!" Kaveh stood up in front of Alhaitham, furious, trying to catch his gaze, "If it's something about /me/ then I need to know!"
"You don't understand," Alhaitham whined, dropping his head on his hands in frustration, "The longer you stay here the harder it gets.."
"Well, I knew you wanted me to move out, but for you to be so desperate about it!–"
"No, that's not what I meant!", Alhaitham almost screamed, finally rising his head and for the first time looking in Kaveh's eyes, "The longer you stay here now, the harder it will be for me to /let you go/."
"Well I thought you will be happy to let me go, what happened with that?!" Kaveh looked back at him, piercing him with his gaze, like it was some sort of a battle.
"Your damn paintings happened!"
"What–" Kaveh closed his eyes, giving up, rubbing the bridge of his nose with fingers. He felt like his head was about to explode, "Can you /please/ stop talking in riddles and just tell me what happened?"
He heard Alhaitham curse under his breath.
"Fine," Alhaitham gestured at the empty wall in the corridor, "You took the paintings earlier today when I wasn't home."
"Yes, I did," Kaveh nodded, patiently waiting for him to continue.
"I was okay when you took away everything from your room, because I don't go in there anyway, I was managed to handle you taking away your stuff from the living room, but today," his breath hitched, but he didn't look away. Kaveh noticed that Alhaitham's fingers started trembling again, "I came home and the paintings were gone, and that meant that /you/ were gone too, there was nothing left to remind me of you, I realized that's you weren't here anymore!"
He vaguely gestured around, and Kaveh noticed how empty the room looks like without his things. It almost looks abandoned. He felt a strange ache in his heart and crossed his arms trying to suppress it. Alhaitham continued to speak.
"It was so.. empty, so silent. I didn't know what to do and it just hit me so hard I–"
He opened his mouth several times but couldn't find the right words, so eventually he just stopped, fidgeting with his shaky fingers. Kaveh clenched his jaw, feeling his muscles tens.
"But didn't you always crave that silence?", he asked, a little confused, "You were always complaining about me being noisy."
"I wanted silence with you around, and not that lifeless, dreadful one." The more Alhaitham talked, the more it started to sound like a whisper.
"Well if you don't like the silence so much, which is actually a big surprise by the way, why don't you take someone else in? There's plenty of people looking for a place to live, and your house is close to the academia. It doesn't has to be me!" He pointed with both hands at himself.
Alhaitham once again raised his head, his face lit by the dim light, he looks at Kaveh, so deep in his eyes as if he was trying to speak to his soul.
Kaveh got the message.
He starts pacing, buried in thoughts, walking around the table in the middle of the room, feeling Alhaitham's sharp gaze following his movements. Until he finally comes back to his place and stops.
"Why me?" He gestures at himself again, "You hate me!"
Now it was Alhaitham's turn to be surprised, and Kaveh swears he never saw such a pronounced expression on his face.
"I /don't/ hate you." He says, his voice taking an unusual pitch, even his hands stoped shaking "Why would you even think that?"
"Well, since you were always complaining about–" Kaveh voice started to sound a little bit irked, but Alhaitham cut him off.
"Fine, I maybe hated your sleeping schedule, or something," he vaguely waved his hand, "But I never hated /you/. In fact, don't you hate me? You were always the one so eager to move out!"
Kaveh was standing there with his mouth agape.
"No! I was looking for another place only because you acted like my sheer existence was bothering you!" He didn't noticed at which point his voice became so loud.
"Your /existence/ never bothered me! /You/ never bothered me!" He exhaled sharply with a short chuckle, "I never wanted you to move out!"
"Well I never wanted to move out either!"
They both fell silent, staring at each other in dim light, slightly panting after intensive arguing. It felt like the house itself held its breath to let them process everything that was just said. It took them a couple of minutes until they finally quit staring, and Kaveh seated himself on the couch by Alhaitham's side, their knees touching. Kaveh felt a tint of heat on his face. He cleared his throat before finally speaking with a quiet voice.
"Is that true? That you don't hate me?"
Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Alhaitham silently nodding in response, short but confident.
They sat like that for a couple more minutes. At some point their shoulders touched and they leaned on each other, tho they couldn't tell who did the first move.
"Can you stay for one night?" Alhaitham's soft voice with a glimpse of hope, almost a whisper, reached Kaveh's ears, "You don't have to. But I'd like you to."
As per command, their heads leaned towards each other, their temples meeting in a tender touch.
"Yeah, sure." Kaveh answered. "I'd like that too."
And he stayed for a night. And then he stayed for forever.