Archive of Our Own

You mean so much to me. Everything you do is so endearing, I can't get enough of you. I wish to be by your side every hour of the day, to hold your hands with the same gentleness you use when you take care of the school's garden, to kiss your lips, erasing all the worries you could have, to hug you tight, enjoying the feeling of safety that would come with it.

Whenever you're looking my way, I feel my breath stop while my heart can only race. Your gold eyes hypnotize me, I can't look away. It's like you put me under a spell, one that I never want to get out of. I'm sure your hair is very soft. How I want to play with it, I dream of you leaning against my touch.

You never fail to make me smile, Kamishiro Rui. I want to make you smile effortlessly too but I'm just a coward. I could never tell you all of that if you were in front of me, I'm far too afraid of your reaction. What if you wouldn't want anything to do with me afterwards?

But you're kind. Despite what people think, despite what people say, your kindness and your love for others are so big they could melt any heart. They melted mine.

I'll cherish you from afar for now. Perhaps one day I'll gather enough courage to properly confront my feelings and to properly tell you how I feel. Please, have a good day.

P"

—-----------------------

Rui didn't know what to say nor did he know what to think.

He went to school like every morning, met Tsukasa at the gates like every morning and he changed his shoes like every morning.

What wasn't like every morning was that a letter was waiting for him.

Once the oddball duo arrived at the entrance of Kamiyama, a student Rui couldn't recognize took Tsukasa away, telling said boy a teacher needed as many class representatives as possible to organize a future event in the school. The blond yelled at Rui that they'll meet for lunch later in the day as well as some apologies for leaving so quickly. The inventor softly chuckled, amused by the loudness of his friend's voice so early in the morning. Although he was a bit sad to not have been able to talk much to his leader this morning, he was already planning on what to do during their lunch.

Rui came up with a new robot idea last night: a robot that could carry all types of props around the stage so wonderlands x showtime wouldn't have to stay late to clean everything up. This robot could be used in shows too, especially detective shows. In a town would be living a detective known to be able to solve any cases he came across but one day, he bit more than he can chew. A new threat appeared: a thief and his companion (the robot), able to steal many paintings and precious relics within a short lapse of time. No matter what plans the detective made, the phantom thief always succeeded in getting away with his prizes. It would be revealed that the thief's intention was to humiliate the detective by proving him he wasn't the best. However, each encounter between the two, as much as the firsts were them throwing harsh words at each other, made them get to know the other more, made them get to know the other more, leading to the two longing for the nights they could be together. In the end, the thief would use his companion to give back everything he stole, having now something far more precious: friendship.

"Ah, I can't wait to hear what Tsukasa-kun thinks about this idea. I'm sure that with his endless imagination, we could come up with the best show ever." Rui whispered to himself with a smile as he opened his locker.

A letter fell to the ground. Intrigued, the purple haired boy picked it up, wondering if someone didn't put this in his locker by mistake, after all, he didn't know why anyone would write him a letter, whatever its content was. These thoughts came to an end the moment he turned the piece of paper in his hand. On the back was a little note with "to Kamishiro Rui" written on it. No doubt, the letter was in the right locker.

He wasn't expecting much when he started reading it, it could be a prank, or maybe someone needed help with something.

His cat-like smile disappeared after finishing reading. The bell had rung but he couldn't care less, he was frozen in place, eyes focused on the mere piece of paper. Someone observed him and thought so highly of him? Someone was in love with him? The first fact wasn't something new, no, his friends, his troupe, even his parents always made sure to let him know he was accepted. But someone romantically loved him despite everything. He couldn't help the rush of heat throughout his whole body, warming up his cheeks. A fond smile appeared on his face, it was obvious the author poured his deepest thoughts on this paper for Rui to know.

The inventor sighed deeply looking at the initial at the bottom of the letter. He unfortunately didn't have a single clue on who his admirer could be despite knowing a lot of people in school (he had to if he wanted things to always go his way, you never know when you need someone to do something for you).

Only when he looked up did Rui realize how much time had passed. The corridors were empty, signaling that he was late for class once again. Taking one last look at the letter that had put him in a good mood, he folded it and placed it carefully into his bag, so that it wouldn't be damaged by the end of the day. Once the task was finished, the purple-haired boy climbed the stairs to the school rooftop, ready to spend his morning building the robot he'd imagined, while waiting patiently for the bell to ring to mark lunchtime, when he could meet Tsukasa and, possibly, have some of his lunch.

*.-°-.*.-°-.*.-°-.*.-°-.*.-°-.*.-°-.*.-°-.*.-°-.*.-°-.*

Rui thought the love letter was a one-time thing. He was proved wrong when, the next day, a new letter stood proudly in the inventor's locker.

A brand-new letter, perfectly similar to the previous one. The urge to open it and discover the sweet words it contained was strong, but Rui decided to wait until lunchtime, suspecting that he'd be too flustered after reading it and that showing up in class with red cheeks was an invitation to be teased. On top of that, he'd been scolded by Tsukasa for skipping class and, although the star's reactions were a pleasure to watch, Rui didn't want to worry his friend.

So he hid his curiosity away deep inside himself and walked confidently towards his classroom, already counting the hours until he could find out what his admirer had in store for him this time.

Time seemed to move in slow motion. Rui found himself looking at the clock several times in the same minute. The young man's patience had left him, giving way to boredom. On any other day, he would certainly have enjoyed the class or let his creativity be of use, drawing new robot models or writing down ideas for future shows. However, his heart was beating too fast for him to hear what his imagination was telling him. Since the first letter, Rui had been in a strangely good mood, happy to be the subject of such a beautiful and innocent feeling that is love. Although his admirer was anonymous, preventing Rui from being able to be sure of his own feelings, he would at least like to thank them. This person could become a new friend. It was a win-win situation for the inventor.

Rui sighed. Too much thinking was making him sleepy. It was an embarrassing reminder of the lack of sleep he got last night, thinking too hard about the identity of his letter's author and how he could make them reveal themself. Resting his cheek on his hand, he turned his head to stare outside the window and was amused to see the students from 1-A outside, playing basketball. Mizuki was even here today, cheering on An as she successfully scored more points for her team.

He was happy for them. Mizuki seemed at ease in their class and An made sure it was the same throughout the school. These two made a good duo, as contradictory as they both were. An was part of the disciplinary committee, yelling at the famous weirdo wombo combo  a little too often, while Mizuki spent most of their time skipping class, only coming in when they felt like it. Yet Mizuki seemed to come more and more during class periods, never missing a chance to tease An, although the other didn't seem bothered by her friend's antics. On the contrary, if Rui dared to say, An seemed to be looking forward to Mizuki's return when they wasn't here.

With that thought, he crossed his arms on his desk and rested his head on them, finally closing his eyes before drifting off to sleep to make time pass quicker.

When the inventor opened his eyes, he felt something on his head but didn't dare move. He glanced at what was in front of him and was met with the sight of Tsukasa, a hand holding the script he was reading, the other slowly caressing his head. What surprised Rui was the fact that his friend didn't have his cardigan on despite having it with him when they saw each other this morning. Moving his eyes, he caught a glimpse of yellow on his shoulder and easily connected the dots. Behind his eccentric personality, the star was, and will always be, a loving person, caring for every soul of this world.

The purple haired boy couldn't be happier to have such a friend by his side. He was thankful for everything his leader gave him ; hope, friends and a place to belong to. Even if he wanted to enjoy Tsukasa's warm hand a little more, he was starting to get hungry and, very, very unfortunately, lunch didn't last forever. Before he had the chance to say anything, the older of the two retracted his hands quickly, as if his past action never happened and opted to shake Rui's shoulder in a way that wouldn't be too rough.

"Rui? Hey, Rui, you should wake up, you don't want to miss lunch, do you? Moreover, if you sleep now, you won't be able to sleep tonight and you'll pull an all-nighter again."

What a sweet and gentle voice, thought Rui, it was definitely a contrast with his usually booming voice but it was welcomed with open arms. Was that the voice Saki-kun woke up to every morning? Maybe he should record Tsukasa's voice again and put it as his alarm, he wouldn't mind hearing more of this variant of the actor's voice.

Wanting to eat, the director sat up and stretched his arms above his head. A mischievous smile appeared on his face as he was about to ask his leader to trade lunch with him when the latter beat him to it.

"Don't give me that look! I know what you're thinking and it's a no ! Although I don't dislike vegetables, I think, no, I know my homemade luncheon is far more delicious, I don't gain anything from eating your food! But, since this star is so kind, I made you a luncheon as well! It's the same as mine with just a little bit less vegetables... But there are still some and you'll have to eat them!"

As he was talking, Tsukasa put two bento boxes on the taller's desk. One of them was wrapped in a blue, flower themed cloth while the other was white with little platypuses on it. Rui didn't have to guess which one was meant for him. The silly platypuses made him chuckle as he unwrapped his new lunch, fighting the urge not to laugh more as he saw the octopus sausages and the tiny vegetables cut in the shape of animals. On his rice was even a little smiling, winking face made with sauce. How adorable, he was almost feeling guilty to eat such a cute lunch.

As the two began their meal, Rui began to feel slightly uncomfortable, sensing Tsukasa's heavy gaze on him. Seeing that the other was opening and closing his mouth without saying a word, the director initiated the conversation, wanting to avoid this disturbing silence to continue.

"Is something wrong Tsukasa-kun? You know, as much as I love to tease you, if you have the slightest problem, I won't hesitate to help you. You can tell me everything, if you feel like it, of course."

The star in the making seemed taken aback and shook his head, suppressing a blush that had appeared on his cheeks. He placed one of his hands on the back of his neck and avoided his interlocutor's eyes, somewhat embarrassed at having been caught red-handed.

"Thank you for worrying about me Rui but have no fear! Nothing's bothering me right now and, if there was, I'd let you know right away! It would be unbecoming of a star if I didn't trust my dear friends. On the contrary, it's you whose behavior is weird. You're not the type to sleep in class, you'd rather spend the hour preparing a new plan that would once again put us in detention."

The blond groaned slightly at the end of his last sentence, memories of the extra chores they had to do after Rui's invention exploded in the school resurfacing in his mind. But despite everything, both knew that Tsukasa would refuse to not take part in Rui's shenanigans if someone asked him.

"Ah... fufu, it seems you've seen right through me, dear leader. You see, having slept very little last night, and being somewhat bored, I figured taking a nap was the best way to get through this class."

"Having slept very little last night? Were you busy building a new robot?"

The smaller tilted his head and frowned, prompting the younger to continue his explanation. Rui offered Tsukasa a smug smile and leaned his head against his hand, his elbow resting on the table, and pulled from his pocket the new letter he'd received that very morning. He waved it in front of his friend's face before pulling back his chair, turning so that the written words could only be seen by him and him alone, and opened the envelope.

"It would seem that my popularity doesn't stop at the fact that I'm 'weird' and that this genius you're looking at is perfectly capable of charming anyone~"

Tsukasa's look could only be translated as 'did you really just call yourself a charmer?' but he shrugged and went back to eating, asking no more questions and leaving Rui to his reading.

It didn't take him long to feel his cheeks turn red, looking at the paper he held in his hands like a treasure, his eyes betraying the happiness he felt.

(This sight didn't go unnoticed by someone watching him as discreetly as possible).

" Kamishiro Rui,

I hope my first letter has brightened your day, at least a little. From what I know about you, my anonymity is surely frustrating, so I apologize and hope to find the strength to reveal myself to you as soon as possible. Would it be too selfish of me to ask you to wait for me?

I wanted to congratulate you on the latest Wondelands x Showtime show! It was a perfect, and the effects you came up with were just incredible! I recognized the confetti cannon you tested on the school roof more than once, and seeing it in action is always a feast for the eyes.

To tell you the truth, I find it ironic that you so often get the role of the antagonist when you're so much closer to an angel than to the demon you played last time. What demon would be as willing to help those in need as you? What demon would spend so much time bringing his creations to life just for the smile of others? What demon would have a smile so sweet and yet so bright?

If I may, I'd like to call myself your biggest fan.

This may surprise you, but you've helped me a lot without realizing it. You gave me the courage to do everything in my power to fulfill my dream, and you helped me realize what my dream really was when my mind was clouded.

I've seen a lot of people in my life, Rui, but no one has ever shone as brightly as you.

P"

*.-°-.*.-°-.*.-°-.*.-°-.*.-°-.*.-°-.*.-°-.*.-°-.*.-°-.*

Days passed and the letters multiplied. Rare were those who found no change in Rui's behavior. He was more productive, he smiled more, he was happier. When someone asked him what made him so cheerful, he would blush and simply reply that he was his usual self or that something had pleased him during the day.

His smile was a pleasure to see for his parents, a reason to tease him for Mizuki, a reason to avoid him for Akito, something to congratulate for Toya and happiness for Tsukasa, Emu and Nene.

(In the back of their mind, someone wondered if that smile would disappear if they came out in the open, if they exposed their true identity. If, in the end, the boy they loved passionately hadn't fallen in love with their own words).

Rui always kept every letter addressed to him at the bottom of his bag. He would reread them whenever he had a bit of free time. Sometimes, he even hid somewhere during lunch break so that he could reread his letters in peace, as he couldn't do it during class at the risk of a classmate or teacher taking the paper out of his hands. They made him feel like he was on cloud nine, and he had no desire to come back to Earth. Although he was frustrated of having not discovered yet the name of the thoughtful person who was writing to him (the inventor suspected that "P" was only the initial of a pseudonym and not the initial of their real name), Rui was more patient and had accepted to wait for the other person to reveal their identity to him on their own.

A month had passed and finding the second half of the weirdo wombo combo between classes had become an impossible task. The director was determined to respect his admirer at all costs by not letting anyone see the letters, lest they end up in the wrong hands and some dare to make fun of the letters' contents. If mockery reached the author's ears, who knows what pain they would feel? The teachers seemed happy to not have to deal with another invention from the troublemaker.

(Another day, someone finished eating alone, looking next to them where their friend used to be. They sighed. The laughter and shouts that normally occupied the place was replaced by a total silence. One of their hands came to rest on their uniform, on top of their heart, and squeezed their cardigan in their hand, finally ready to make a decision that wouldn't be pleasant.)

*.-°-.*.-°-.*.-°-.*.-°-.*.-°-.*.-°-.*.-°-.*.-°-.*.-°-.*

Rui felt the same shock, the same paralysis run through him, as he had with his very first letter, except that this time, he wasn’t smiling.

"Hey Rui,

Thank you for giving so much importance to these little letters I sent you every morning, it fills me with joy to know that you love them so much.

Unfortunately, this is the last one. You won't find anything else in your locker tomorrow, the day after tomorrow and the days that follow. I'm sorry, it's unbecoming of me to not make you smile.

My days are different now that I can only see you at the gate, before and after school if I'm lucky. They are lonelier, they are duller, they are unpleasant.

Honestly, I miss your explosions, I miss your robots, I miss everything, and I know I'm not the only one affected by your absence.

I've also decided to keep my identity a secret until the end. As time goes by, I'm sure you have an image of me, and I'm afraid I won't live up to your expectations. While I would do anything to exceed any expectations you have of me, I don't think my heart could.

My feelings for you have never changed, I want you to know that. I still wish with all my heart that I could make you my boyfriend, which is why, if you manage to find me, I won't deny being the author of all those letters, I'll stop running.

Farewell Rui,

P"

The inventor had chosen to wait for his walk to Phoenix Wonderland to read the today's letter, too busy finishing repairs on a robot that had malfunctioned the day before to enjoy to the fullest the letter he received. The revelation of the letter made his heart contract to the point of pain.

"Dear Rui, I hope you can enjoy these homemade cookies! [...]"

"Dear Rui, seeing you happy is enough to make me happy as well [...]"

"Dear Rui, I wonder where your genius ends, if there is an end [...]"

"Dear Rui, you are a light in my life [...]"

The purple haired boy felt a cold sweat on his forehead. He was afraid. He was afraid of losing the person he had become so attached to. He wanted to shout to them that, whoever was behind "P", he would accept them with open arms. Rui had to find out who had written all the letters before tracking him became impossible. All he had to do was skip rehearsal today, after all, Wonderlands x Showtime was preparing a new episode of Pegasus the Shining and the director wasn't appearing in it much so it wouldn't really matter if he was here today or not.

Rui stopped dead in his tracks when a realization came to him and pulled out most of the letters he had in his bag, sitting down on a bench to avoid blocking the way of passers-by. He looked at each paper carefully, analyzing sentence after sentence. If anyone could see inside his brain, they would see gears turning at a high speed.

It was only the sound of a notification that snapped the boy out of his thoughts. Nene had sent him a message, asking if he was planning to come to the Wonder Stage and that, if so, he should hurry as he was late.

Glancing at the time on his phone, Rui noticed that quite a lot of time had indeed passed. He tucked the letters back in his bag as neatly and quickly as possible and ran to Phoenix Wonderland.

Once he arrived in front of the Wonder Stage, it didn't take long for his presence to be noticed. Nene approached him, asking for an explanation as to why he was late, Emu jumped around him, excited to see him, and Tsukasa, who had remained on the stage, told him to hurry up and get changed so they could finally get started. Rui excused himself once more and headed to the dressing room to put on his costume and put down his bag.

(Once Rui had left, a sigh escaped the lips of a certain someone who restrained themself from following the inventor to ask if everything was alright. They clenched their fists and shook their head, knowing this was a bad idea).

Practice went off without a hitch, with everyone knowing their roles well, the director only had to intervene a few times to correct one of the actors. Despite the tranquility of the moment, Rui kept running his eyes over each of the actors, looking for some semblance of nervousness in them. When he found none, he smiled mischievously, sure of his plan.

------

"We are finally done for today.... I think we did a great job, well done everyone."

Nene smiled before bending down to pick up her water bottle. As she stood up, she could only notice the stars shining in the eyes of Emu and Tsukasa, who shared her opinion. The latter came over to congratulate her personally.

Rui, who had been observing the scene from the audience seats, climbed onto the stage and brought his fist up to his chin, a look of feigned curiosity on his face.

"Tsukasa-kun, now that I think about it, in our Pegasus The Shining plays, everyone has a name close to their real name except you. Wouldn't it be better if you did the same, so that it's easier for our new fans to remember? Why did you choose such a name?"

Tsukasa turned to Rui at his question and frowned. He put his hands on his hips and was about to reply when Emu did it for him.

"Oh! Oh! I know! It's because of Tsukasa's wonderhoy introduction!!!"

The pink-haired girl cleared her throat and struck one of the wonderlands x showtime leader's many poses before turning up the volume on her voice.

"Tenma ! Written with the kanji of pegasus! Tsukasa ! Written with the kanji of ruler! My name is Tenma Tsukasa ! The soaring pegasus meant to rule the world!!"

A short moment of silence followed before Nene's laughter was heard, followed by Rui's quiet applause and Tsukasa's complaints at having been imitated like that. The director nodded, thanking Emu for her answer then offered to start cleaning the stage so that everyone could go home.

When everything was put back in their respective places, Nene and Emu waved goodbye to the two boys and left the amusement park together, having planned to have a sleepover at Emu's house. When it was Tsukasa's turn to leave, Rui grabbed him by the wrist, resulting in a confused look from the blond, hiding the fact that he was uncomfortable.

"Tsukasa-kun? Can I have a word with you, please? I won't keep you long, I promise."

Tsukasa seemed hesitant, and although the taller boy wouldn't force him to stay if his friend really was uncomfortable, Rui hoped he'd agree. Taking a deep breath, Tsukasa exhaled and guided them to sit down at the edge of the Wonder Stage. He raised his head and smiled gently.

"How can I help you Rui?"

The latter glanced to his bag, where all the letters were piled up. From the first to the farewell letter from "P". The inventor was sure of himself, sure of the author's identity. After all, the initial could only represent a name...

"P stands for Pegasus doesn't it, Tsukasa-kun?"

The blond's body immediately froze, his gaze fleeing Rui's. They remained in an awkward silence until the future star laid out completely on the wood of the stage while covering his eyes with his arm.

"Looks like I've been found out. Well done Rui, I'm guessing your question earlier was to confirm your theory?"

Rui nodded, then, seeing that the other couldn't see him, he chuckled.

"Fufu, you figured me out too, I'd expect nothing less from my biggest fan. However, I didn't think you and I would be so similar..."

Rui took one of the letters addressed to him and let the words sink into his memory once more. He continued, hearing no response from Tsukasa.

"You see, you refer to yourself as a coward, unable to face me with your feelings, fearing to lose me. But did you know that this is also my case? I've been harboring romantic feelings for you for several months now, my dear leader, but I always thought that these feelings would never be reciprocated. That's why I let myself fall in love with the author of these letters. You couldn't love me, so I had to turn to someone who could. I'm glad that person turned out to be Tsukasa-kun."

The younger was taken by surprise when Tsukasa suddenly stood up and grabbed his hands in his own. The actor's eyes shone, filled with unshed tears, a sparkling smile adorning his face. Rui found himself speechless, the words dying on his tongue. The two looked at each other for what felt like hours before, almost instinctively, leaning towards the other until all space between their lips disappeared.

The kiss was filled with love and gentleness, conveying the words and desires they couldn't utter. One of Tsukasa's hands went on Rui's cheek, caressing it with his thumb while the other came to play on his purple hair, keeping his head close to his, lengthening their moment. Rui put his arms around Tsukasa's waist, bringing him as close as possible to his own body, as if the other might disappear if he ever let go.

Unfortunately, they had to separate to catch their breath, but their hands didn't move at all

Tsukasa rested his head on his lover's shoulder, enjoying his body heat as Rui traced stars with his finger on his star's back, humming a melody that seemed to be appreciated by the boy in his arms.

"I love you so much Rui."

He paused for a few seconds, then kissed his beloved's head.

"This is the first time you've told me that. You only said it indirectly in your letters."

The actor raised his head and looked at Rui as fondly as it was humanly possible before connecting their lips once more.

"I love you Rui."

"I love you too Tsukasa-kun."