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Steve Rogers could appreciate his new life.
Contrary to what those around him had expected, Steve had ignored the Sokovia Accords and preferred to abandon the life of a superior.
He had focused his efforts on saving and defending Bucky, protecting him from Hydra and the Shield.
He had defended him from the false doctor's accusations that he was shown to be truly responsible for the death of the king of Wakanda and left to their justice.
Steve had no doubt they would never see him again.
No longer having to devote his life to battling evil, Steve had found himself struggling, alone in a still rather strange world.
He had fought for what he thought was right and now he could no longer fight.
The idea of how to spend his life had been Bucky's.
After Fury eliminated the mind control Hydra might have had over Bucky, the boy moved into Steve's apartment.
The two had rediscovered their friendship, never forgotten by either of them and an empty pain that had finally been filled.
"Why don't you open a bookstore? Like you wanted to when you were a kid."
"A bookstore?" Steve asked as he cooked for both of them. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"You've always loved art and never wanted to show your drawings to anyone. Selling culture could be your new way to fight. You could make book covers."
Steve murmured. It wasn't a bad idea.
Once decided, Fury had to comply with the war veteran's request, respecting his choice not to sign the Sokovia Accords.
Fury and Maria hadn't signed up either, and the Shield had once again become a secret agency.
Steve had looked at the room that had been reserved for him and smiled.
He had work to do.
Fixing up the place had taken a long time but Steve had loved every moment of it.
Bucky had helped him when he could, appreciating the manual labor as much as Steve himself, and Sam Wilson would sometimes drop by to help the two.
"I'd say it's finished." Steve smiled, looking at his bookshelf.
"Well done, Steve. You finally have your own paradise isolated from people."
Bucky slapped him on the shoulder and Steve stuck his tongue out at him.
He had missed those moments very much.
****
"Bookshop Sarah, how can I help you?" Steve answered the phone, after a few months on the job.
The bookstore had been dedicated to his mother, an extremely strong woman who had always supported him.
Bucky had wanted it to be dedicated to him, but Steve had wanted to avoid any parallels to the two of them.
“Uh, I must have got the wrong number…”
The voice made him frown.
He hadn't heard from her for a long time.
"I'm looking for my… friend, yes. His name is Steve. Does he work there by any chance?"
"I think you have the wrong number, sir. No Steve work here that I know of. Thanks for the call."
"Sure..."
Steve sighed, as the conversation ended.
He didn't like lying, but he hadn't felt like confronting it.
When he left the shop, the same voice of the call made him turn. "I knew it was your voice."
Steve sighed, locking up the shop and lowering the grates. "How did you find me?"
"Fury leaked that you'd found your peace and knew this was a new library. I wanted to give it a try."
"Really?"
“Sarah was your mother's name, right? Jarvis did some research for me "
"What do you want, Tony?"
"I think I need you, Steve."
Steve huffed, turning and looking Tony Stark in the face. "Don't you know? I'm not an Avenger. You can't involve me in any battle."
Steve was about to pass the man, but Tony stopped him, placing a hand on his forearm.
"It's not the Avengers who need you, it's me."
Steve stared at him. " And what do you want from me?"
"Can we talk about it somewhere else?"
Steve snorted. "I live nearby. You can come with me."
**
Tony made no comment about the room as he walked in and sat down on the couch.
He didn't comment on the worn sofas or wooden table or the presence of a single old television in one corner of the living room.
"Where's Barnes?" He asked, probably out of politeness.
"He goes to sushi on Fridays. He talks to one of his ... old acquaintances, yes."
Tony looked at him curiously and Steve shrugged. "It helps him talk to people who didn't know he was the Winter Soldier. It makes him feel normal. And he likes sushi."
"Oh. So he's okay now?"
"Neither of us misses the boiled food for sure." Steve laughed.
Tony smiled and Steve sighed, looking at him. "What do you want?"
"You…I know you had nightmares when you first arrived with the Avengers."
"You mean not even a week after I woke up to find all my friends were dead?"
"Yes..."
"I had nightmares, yes."
"How did you overcome them?"
Steve, hearing the desperation in Tony's voice, looked up at him.
He had very deep dark circles, bloodshot eyes and the whole look of someone who hadn't slept in a long time.
"I don't think I did. I still have nightmares, Tony. And, besides having to get over waking up seventy years in the future, I also have to deal with the war against the Nazis and Hydra that I fought and then Loki, Ultron, Hydra again. I never stopped fighting and the nightmares never ended."
"But you were okay! You, you were fine!"
"I'm a soldier, Tony. In war you don't have time to suffer, not when you have to fight to protect your friends and comrades."
"You asked me if Coulson was my first soldier." Tony remembered and Steve grimaced. "I didn't phrase my request well, probably, and even less respected the fact that you weren't a soldier. It was just the way I'd been used to phrase such questions." Steve looked away. "The letters of condolence were always written impersonally. A different name was added each time."
Tony said nothing.
"It didn't matter if it was their first war or if they were veterans. My fellow soldier, apart from Bucky, suffered no other casualties. We were the only ones who didn't. Supported from afar by Peggy and Howard." Steve smiled wistfully, and Tony said. "My father loved you so much."
"Not as much as I adored him." Steve sat next to Tony, looking at him. "I wasn't nice to you because you are a lot like him. Maybe it's an insult to you now, but… Howard was a good guy. He had a good heart, and great humor. He was completely insane." Steve laughed, shaking his head, feeling tears begin to fill his eyes. "He flew into a Hydra base so I could retrieve Bucky. Insane."
"You didn't seem to like my craziness when I showed it."
"I saw you, but I wanted to see Howard. Of course, he would never be crazy enough to enter a dimensional hole!"
Tony laughed. "You were nicer to me afterward."
"I know. You weren't your father and it wasn't right for me to treat you rudely just because I wanted him."
"Of course. My father wanted you and you wanted him."
Steve looked at him, before laughing. "I don't think you understand why I reacted like this."
"No, you preferred my father, that's fine."
"I had a crush on your father, Tony. Of course, not that that ever mattered to Howard. He knew it, but not saying it was the best way to support me."
"Right, gay and in the military was not a good combination."
"More gay and in the world." Steve corrected.
Tony smiled. "So..."
Steve looked at him curiously.
"Are you done with crushing on my dad?"
"Yes, I'd say I did. Seventy years of yearning seemed enough." Steve laughed.
"Seems enough, you are right." Tony smiled. "And are you still into Stark?"
Steve laughed. "Are you asking me out?"
"Maybe I am. What do you say?" Tony smiled, feeling the hope rising when the other laughed again.
"Maybe I will say yes, then."
Tony blinked. "Yes?"
"Yes."
The nightmares didn't stop for any of them.
But, when someone else was there with you when you woke up in the middle of the night, they were easier to overcome.