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“You know Pete I can’t say I’ve ever given a shit about people who use drugs,” Wade comments nonchalantly, propping his feet up on Peter’s back while he laid against the roof entrance. “I mean, you know, in my life I’ve tired them all. Fentanyl? Can’t say I get why it’s such a big deal. I mean sure it did kill me bu—“
“Wade I would appreciate if you didn’t incriminate yourself anymore than you already have to me.” Peter let out an exasperated sigh, letting himself relax a bit. This so called drug bust has had nothing going on for the past hour and a half.
They’d been out there for hours at this point, waiting for something to happen. It was meant to be Peter’s mission, it was a one man mission. Wade W. Wilson just had to tag along. For the past week and a half Peter had dealt with Wade somehow ending up in all of his business. There were times where the bad guy Peter had been instructed to catch was Wade. Or maybe the old lady he needed to save? Yeah that was Wade too.
Oh, and don’t get Peter started on the jokes. If he didn’t know any better he would’ve reported Wade to superhero HR. Unfortunately, Wade is not a hero and superhero HR does not exist. But goddamnit it really should!
Wade sits up, unceremoniously knocking his boots into Peter’s head and his train of thought.
“Do you mind?” Peter asked irritated, glaring back at Wade.
“Oh no not at all, you were very comfortable thank you,” Wade snaps back with as smug as a look he could possible get with his mask on.
“Why are you even here? I don’t need you here. I didn’t ask for you to be here. I don’t even know how you found me,” Peter asks, turning around now to fully face Wade.
Wade just shrugs. “I like you Spidey.”
“That’s not an answer dude. You always say that. Every time you’re here you always cause trouble for me. I’ve tried being nice but it’s getting to be enough.”
“You know I love this love hate relationship we have. The fans are gonna love it.”
“Can you take anything seriously for one fucking second man?”
“Oooh you said a bad word. That’s not like you Spidey. I like that I bring out that side of you.”
Peter tried the breathing exercises, he tried counting in his mind, he even tried seeing things from Wade’s perspective but none of that worked in the moment.
All Peter could see was red for a brief moment before he pinned Deadpool back against the concrete of the building’s rooftop. There was an audible thud from how hard he actually slammed him back and for a moment Peter felt a little bad. Just for a moment though. “I have seriously had enough of you and if you keep getting in my way I’m gonna rat you out to S.H.E.I.L.D. or something…” Peter trailed off, feeling his Spidey senses go off.
Oh great. Just fucking great. You let Wade Wilson get the best of you again and you took your eyes off the mission. Now the bad guy is going to get away if you don’t act fast.
“We’ll continue this later,” Peter spat out before scrambling upwards and swinging his way down the building.
“Oh how I hate to say goodbye but I love seeing you go!” Wade cried out, hoping Peter heard him.
He did, but he would never make it clear that he did. As much as Wade absolutely infuriated the friendly neighborhood hero, he also brought something nice to the monotony of people saving. If only he were more useful. Then maybe and only MAYBE would Peter really considering teaming up with him.