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Kim Taehyung has said goodbye too many times to count.
But he first time his heart breaks Taehyung is a lot younger than he is currently,he's naïve and thinks bad things only happen at the start of fairytales. Which he would've kept believing,he really tried to afterwards. But none of that would bring Park Jimin back.
Taehyung came across the boy filled with smiles and that subtle hint of shyness at five. It was in the old park beside the supermarket,the one they'd visit years later with ice pops and heavy school bags; or so they should've.
But Jimin didn't even make it to a decade on this planet,he left full of ignorance to the cruel world he got to leave behind. But Taehyung had to live through it. He had to work through finding Jimin against the rocks,he had to look into his eyes and ask stupidly if he was done fooling around; the blood should've given it away.
Jimin didn't have to go to school a week later and face all the stares and whispers of rumours. It was vile,that children and adults alike could say things to a nine year old boy. To a boy who hadn't fully comprehended that Jimin wouldn't come back next week or next year. Jimin couldn't be fixed,and Taehyung was falling apart.
Years later Taehyung walks down the lane to his house,with an ice pop from the old supermarket and a bag that has reached maximum capacity. The summer weather is humid and Taehyung would like it a lot better if he didn't feel like complete shit.
He opens the door,fumbling with the key,immediately heading upstairs and throwing his bag on the floor beside his bed. For the next twenty minutes Taehyung stares into nothing and oh god,he'd forgotten about Jimin for a few minutes; his eyes burn with anger over anything else.
Jimin would've been with him right now.
Jimin would've been laughing down the lane with him,they'd push and try to knock another over. Jimin would mention how nice the weather is,but just as quick complain that he can't afford ice pops every day this week.
Jimin would've been sitting opposite to him,emptying his back out but not moving to do any work. They'd laugh at each others pained faces at the reminder that they almost got in trouble for laughing too loud in English today,and that the teacher hated their asses.
Jimin should've been here.
Maybe Taehyung would've been okay then.
Maybe every scattered moment of thought wouldn't be over his best friend in the whole wide world against those rocks,a nine year old boy who had so much to live for. He never got to buy that DS game or see that movie that turned out to be amazing. He never got to get another digit to his age. He never got to play in the rain with Taehyung like he promised.
Jimin promised a lot,and he would've done it all.
Taehyung knows.
Jimin should've been here.
That night Taehyung goes out.
His shoes are a little too worn to be walking through the stones at such a pace,it's too dark for him to actually see right anyways,his phone is almost useless. To add to it,Taehyung decided to drink,a lot.
The wind blows gently,and its fucking freezing outside. But that is the least of Taehyung’s worries tonight.
Taehyung really misses Jimin,he always does; but tonight his chest aches with pain he hasn't felt in years and his face is soaked with tears for someone who hasn't been here in a long time.
Eventually,he gets there.
To Jimin.
Taehyung kneels beside the rocks and puts his hand on top of the largest. He takes a deep breath before his throat gives out and his sobs escape for the first time in years. He can't stop,no matter how hard he tries. Tonight he doesn't stop until he physically cannot anymore.
“Jimin,” he chokes out,”I really fucking miss you- I- you should be here,you should be beside me,laughing your ass off- oh my god Jimin,I really wish you could be here.”
Taehyung’s words eventually become incoherent through his gasps for air and hiccups.
Taehyung stays there,hands against the rocks and tears spilling over repeatedly until his lung burn and he's absolutely hysterical.
“Yeah,” he sobs,”You really should be here right now.”