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Eren likes to wander.
Without any goal in mind, he makes his way through the streets of Shiganshina. Although … that's not entirely correct. He has a goal—to lose Armin and Mikasa.
Not permanently, of course. But just for a little while. Just so he can get lost himself. Hanging out with them usually feels good. They help him calm down when he's stressed and advise him when decisions seem too hard to make. Just …
He can't 'people' today. And going home isn't an option. His parents are probably fighting at this very moment. It's never about something important, either. Just little things. Miniscule problems they blow out of proportion just so they can be upset with each other.
Eren's done with all that noise. Which is why he's not surprised once he realizes his feet took him to a little tea shop. He's never been here before, but the place looks … intriguing.
Green sign. Golden letters.
Wings of Freedom.
Next to the title is an icon of a shield with nestled wings in it. Nothing about it looks like warm drinks, but the scent coming from inside can't be mistaken.
It must be one of those high-end tea houses, because there's no advertisement aside from the name.
Damn it, Eren is currently trying to finish his last year of highschool. He doesn't have the money for fancy tea. And yet … the logo, the name, the promise of a quiet place to finish his essay … Something in the back of his mind tingles.
Before he can make the rational choice, he's already through the door.
Inside, the aroma is even more intense. And yet, it doesn't suffocate him. Eren can breathe just fine and doesn't have to cough. Instead it's almost … grounding.
He walks up to the counter with his eyes still fixed on the billboard and the neat, clean handwriting above him. So many different blands tease him and compete for his attention. They all want to be tasted, as it seems.
"Hi, uh, I would like—" Eren freezes when he finally focuses on the man behind the counter. "You're the man of my dreams!" They stare at each other for a second longer, then Eren slaps his hands over his mouth. "Oh my god, no, that's not—I don't—I mean, no offence, you're handsome! Very handsome! But I mean—oh shit, fuck, I'm sorry, I didn't—I'm not trying to flirt with you, it's—you just literally … you look like the man of my—"
"Relax." The man chuckles, even though his face barely morphs. "It's okay." Eren blinks at him, cheeks burning hot and his hands sweaty with stress and a sensation he doesn't understand. He's seen those grey eyes before. The protagonist in some of his nightmares looks like that, even if his parents told him since his early childhood that those dreams aren't real. But he is real, and currently watching his misery with amusement hidden in a silvery gaze. It doesn't at all help when the guy leans forward and whispers, "Hello, Eren."
"You … you know my name? How do you know my name?" Eren furrows his brows, balling his hands. This is creepy on a level he can't even describe. "Who are you?!"
"Oh." Whatever little amusement resides in his eyes a vanishes into thin air. His expression grows so cold, Eren's fingertips start tingling. Grey eyes darken, then shoot to the top of the bar instead of fixating Eren. "What do you want?"
"Answers!" The guy can't simply ignore his questions, pretending like he didn't just address him randomly with his rather unique first name.
"This isn't a library."
The way he says that sentence … so detached … it's surprising how little warmth a person can hold in their voice.
Eren can't help but recoil. He doesn't even know the man, and yet, something inside of him screams at the loss of familiarity in his tone. Fingernails digging into the flesh of his hand, Eren swallows hard. "I … I want …" His eyes glide to the board above the cashier. "A macha—"
"Wrong."
Huh? Eren's head tips over. It probably makes him look like a confused puppy, but to be fair, the description makes sense since he's confused as all hell. How can a tea order, especially at a tea shop, be wrong? He barely got started!
Finally, silvery eyes return to him. Slowly. As if it costs him energy to meet Eren's gaze. "My name is Levi. And I've heard your name before, probably around town. My memory is rather good." He huffs. "And you don't want the Macha." Something akin to pain slips into his expression. If he doesn't like serving tea, why is he here? "I …" Levi sighs. "I'll offer you a deal. I'll make you a cup of tea. Free of charge, yeah? And if you don't like it, you get your Macha."
Why would he do that? But no. His mother always taught him, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. This guy won't try to kill him, right? They are in public! Besides, behind him, people start to form a queue, so … why not decide fast? "Okay," Eren murmurs.
"Sit there." Levi points at a table close to the counter. "I'll get you your tea."
And Eren can't help but listen. Something about his commanding aura … If he were in the military, he would make a great captain.
The paper Eren's working on for school is bone dry. He sighs, starting up his laptop. Focusing was hard before, but now, with this man close to him? A man that looks so familiar … and addressed him with his name. Eren swallows.
His explanation was wonky at best. Yet Eren knows better than to start a discussion, even though everyone else would probably describe him as confrontational in every other instance. But Levi … something about Levi's different.
"Eren!" Next to him, a brunette squeals. He flinches: it's so high and shrill. "I never expected to see you again! But I guess you're the age now, aren't you? How old are you? What are you up to, where do you—"
"Hange." Levi's voice pours from the counter like a bucket of ice water. "Leave him alone. He doesn't remember."
Remember what? Eren looks between the two of them, then focuses on the woman with his tea. "What does he mean?"
But her excitement was already replaced by bone-deep sadness. "Oh." She tilts her head. "So you don't know who I am?"
"He called you Hange," Eren tries, like a fool who's not in on the joke but desperately wants to be. Damn it, he feels younger than he has in years. Besides, now that he gets a proper look at the woman … hasn't she been in his dreams as well? Hange. Levi. The names seem right in a way he can't put a finger on.
"He did," she confirms and places a mug in front of him. "Chai tea with two sugars and a little bit of milk, just like you ordered."
"I didn't order this."
Her face falls. She turns around. "Levi?"
"It's a gift. On the house." There's this pinched expression again, as if someone hurt him in a way he struggles to express.
The woman nods. "I see. Okay. Yeah. Here's your tea, Eren."
"How do you know my name?" He almost forgot earlier, but there's no way those two can distract him again.
"Your—" Hange pauses. "You knew my name as well."
"Because Levi said it!"
"And how do you know his name?"
"Because he said it!"
"Hange," Levi shakes his head, "let him be." Then, with a tired sigh and an unreadable expression he adds, "Enjoy your tea, Eren."
No warmth. No service worker smile. Just this intense look in his eyes, something visceral, old and new and loaded with pain.
Maybe Eren should repeat his question, but the second he unsticks his gaze from Levi and looks around, he's gotta concede—Hange is already gone.
A kick to his face, strong enough to dislodge his tooth. A small, yet powerful hand winding into his hair and holding on to thick strands until his follicles scream in agony. Pain so thick it burns every single muscle in Eren's body.
And the sensation of trust. Loyalty. Unfailing faith.
Levi.
Eren jolts awake, staring at the wall opposite of his bed. His breath rushes in and out of his lungs with a desperation that can only be granted in a fight for his life. But who were they fighting?
And why was Eren not afraid of the man who held him down and abused him, on a stage in front of dozens of others? His fist closes and curls above his heart. What does the gesture mean? It feels so right …
Falling back, Eren's head crashes into the pillow again. His heart beats roughly and insistently against an aching rib cage still, but the sticky, syrupy grip of fear starts to retreat from his soul.
Levi. A chai tea with two sugar and a bit of milk.
Eren never had that specific combination before, doesn't even drink tea, usually. But it was the best thing he's tasted so far. Why did Levi gift it to him? And what was all that memory talk about?
The paper he needs to hand in is only halfway done, and Eren's parents are still fighting, so he has every reason to return to the tea shop. Although, does he want to? Well—who is he kidding? If only he could leave straight away. But it's the middle of the night, and the shop is closed.
And he needs to sleep. Even if behind his eyelids there are monsters waiting, lingering, to eat him alive. Creatures taller than buildings that pluck humans out of the air and devour him like they mean nothing. Eren shudders. Returning there is a dreadful thought. But … but maybe Levi will be with him. That would make all the fear and pain worth it.
With no idea why but absolute certainty that he's going to be okay as long as the tea-barista is there, Eren rolls over and pulls his blankets over his head again.
It's time to face his demons once more.
Hange. Not a 'she/her', Eren realizes when he enters the tea shop the following day. Where the acknowledgement comes from, he can't tell. But he's sure. They. Hange is a 'they/them' person, and Eren's met them before. Just like the captain.
No. Wait. Captain? Barista. Damn, his military style of speaking, or maybe the strict posture, whatever it is, has Eren all confused. Or perhaps it's the dreams. But when he steps up to the register, and Levi glances up at him again, Eren struggles to suppress the urge to salut.
"Sir," he mutters instead, eyes on the bar between them. Only after he speaks does Eren notice that maybe this isn't how you address a random service worker. Not when they gave you their name, right? So he licks his lips and tries to do better. "Levi?"
"Hello, Eren." No smile or warmth comes along with it, but it doesn't need to. The way he says it unlocks some weird, primal joy in the deep crevices of Eren's brain, regardless. An ancient creature that slept in the back of his consciousness until now. It rolls around in the pleasurable knowledge that Levi perceives him. "Welcome back. What can I do for you today?"
His tone seems carefully neutral, yet interested. "I'd like the same as yesterday?"
"Of course." This time a little smile dances across Levi's lips. "You can sit down. Hange will bring you your drink."
"Thank you, sir." Again, a strange pull in his heart suggests Eren to salut. Instead, he walks over to the tables, sits down, and begins to work on his essay. Bit by bit, the words start to flow. It helps when a friendly face brings him his mug.
"You came back."
Eren nods, smiling at Hange. "Where else would I go?"
"Starbucks?"
Oh. Yeah. Well. Eren's not here for the tea, not really. But can he just admit to that? Probably not. Instead, he watches Hange from the corner of his eyes. "I … really like it here. Something about this place—"
"About him?" They smirk and nudge their head in Levi's direction. He's currently talking to another customer. Broad. Blond. Hair parted and slicked back neatly. Seeing him opens a hole inside Eren's chest that he doesn't understand. A stranger, yes! And yet …
He can't reply to Hange's teasing. Eren takes out his phone instead, typing a quick message to Armin. Just telling him he cares. Just wishing him to be okay. It's a strange thing to do, something he usually doesn't, but the blond brick wall of a person makes Eren queasy. Maybe it's the same hair and eyes?
"Are you okay?" Hange's question pulls him out of the seafoam of his thoughts.
"Uh. Yeah. He …" a slim finger finds the man with Levi. "He's …?"
"Erwin?" Hange murmurs, voice soft with interest. "Do you recognize him?"
Yes. No.
Flashes of a man on horseback invade Eren's mind. Particles from a dream playing chess with his consciousness, toppling over the building blocks of his understanding of the world. Erwin. He tries the name. It tastes like ash.
"Are Levi and he—?" Eren doesn't know why he asks. After all, he has no right to know. And yet, curiosity gets the better of him.
Luckily, Hange shakes their head. A smile sits on their lips. "Friends, Eren. They are very good friends. But that's it. Levi … he's not dating around."
Oh. Eren watches with captured attention as Erwin kisses Levi's cheek, then hurries back into the sidewalk traffic he abandoned previously.
Something folds and unfolds in his gut. Nasty. Black tar rolls in his chest. But why?
"So, Levi isn't interested in … anyone?"
"That's not what I said, sweetie. That's not what I said."
Armin confirms he's doing okay. He also confirms the paper is due this week, not the next one, as Eren thought. Shit. That means he needs to write a lot quicker than anticipated! Which isn't technically a problem, but at the same time, it kind of is.
Because it's getting late, and he can't go to a lot of places to focus. His parents still fight a lot, and Armin and Mikasa distract him, so all Eren's left with is the tea shop. Not a bad thing in itself, but Eren doesn't have a lot of money, and Hange keeps bringing him drinks he never ordered.
So eventually, he closes his laptop and goes to the counter. No one else is bothering Levi right now, so he's cleaning the same spot for the fourth time. Is it a strategy to look busy on the job or does this man just really like cleaning?
"Hey. I'd like to pay for my drinks."
Grey eyes flick up to him. Levi's hand stills, rag in his hand still on the polished wood. "What?"
"The tea. That Hange kept bringing me?"
Levi swallows visibly. "On the house."
Wait, what? Eren's head falls to the side. "What do you mean? I've been drinking it all day, I can't just—"
"Yes, you can. You're working on school, right? Or you're studying? Let me help you."
"Why?"
Levi doesn't meet his eyes now, distracting himself with the counter top again. Weird, he doesn't feel like the type of person to avoid a conversation. "Just … come back. Tomorrow, or next week, or …" He shakes his head. "I just need to know you're okay."
"Why wouldn't I be?" Something dark, hungry, and loud settles in Eren's chest, rolling around like a greedy animal. Is it sinister or just new? "It's just an essay."
"Eren …" But Levi doesn't continue. He blinks slowly once more, as if he's waking up just now. "Just … come back. If you want to. You get free drinks. For your friends as well, okay? Have you … found the little mushroom and your personal bodyguard?"
Levi might not use names, but the description of Eren's best friends is uncanny. "Armin and Mikasa?" He whispers. For some reason, Levi smiles.
"Free drinks for them as well. What about Sasha and Connie? Jean?"
Eren frowns. What are the names of those people? He shakes his head. As a child, he had an imaginary friend that he would call Sasha. There's a Jean in his class, but they don't get along. Connie … no. He can't think of a Connie.
Levi nods. He looks like he wants to ask more, but Hange interrupts them. "Historia and Ymir? Oh! Eren! Do you have a brother?"
"Who are all those people?"
He's heard the names of the girls before. In elementary school they used to be his friends, but as kids do, they grew apart. A brother, though? Eren shakes his head.
None that he knows of. Although … that would explain why his parents are constantly fighting … no. Wait. Why is he entertaining that idea?
He doesn't wait for an answer to his question. Eren blinks slowly, then pulls back. "I …I gotta go."
Levi stills, reaching out. A wet sound follows the rag falling onto the bar when he stretches his hand in Eren's direction. "Please don't leave."
But it's too much. Eren can't stay here. Not after the paid drinks, all those questions, the creepy coldness coiling inside of him like a snake trying to eat itself. He grabs the few things on his table—and runs off.
Eren forgets about the tea shop. For a while. But he can't help seeing things surrounding him differently.
His parents and their yelling and screaming. Eren started to listen. Apparently, his father did have a secret second family. And Eren has a half-brother named Zeke now. Their relationship is … rocky. It doesn't help when Carla and he find out that, as they learn now, they are the second family.
Mikasa and Armin stay by his side through all the stress and problems. Almost as if they were always there. As if they will be always there.
At some point, the naive curiosity leaves Armin's eyes. They become jaded in a way Eren doesn't understand. Mikasa begins to wear a scarf again that Eren gifted her as a child.
He asks them what they want to do after school. Both shake their heads. "Just no military," they say, as if they practised.
Eren does his best not to think about the strange people at Wings of Freedom, and eventually, he succeeds. School keeps him too busy, he graduates with more struggle than his friends, but it's all the same. They leave Shiganshina together and move to the bigger city nearby to study.
And life goes on.
When Eren meets his classmate Connie, something in the back of his mind tingles, but he can't put a finger on it. The sensation increases when Mikasa shows up to their apartment with a girl called Annie, and Armin brings in new friends of his, Berthold and Reiner.
Somehow, no one introduces themselves. Everyone just nods. It's strange, but hey, it's college.
"Did you find the captain?" Eren hears murmured one night as he slinks down the hallway to their bathroom. The question is followed by Armin's gentle voice. "There's a tea shop in Shiganshina …"
"A tea shop," Reiner whispers back. "Of course there is." Why is there a smile in his voice? And who's the captain?
Unless … well.
There's a captain Eren keeps dreaming off, but that's just his brain, conjuring up memories and ideas, weird books he read and movies he saw, right? Besides, Reiner can't mean the things in his head. Eren never shared his nightmares, after all.
Seasons change. Mikasa and Armin amass more people. His childhood friends, Historia and Ymir. Even Jean, fucking Jean. Emptiness spreads further and further through Eren's chest. Whenever they all meet, he … well. He's part of it, but also not.
When Jean brings his new boyfriend Marco and a brawl almost erupts in the living room, Eren's lost. When Annie changes classes multiple times to not be taught by Professor Ral or Professor Bozado. When a barely legal Armin introduces them to his new boyfriend, who happens to be their principal and in his forties. Which isn't even the weirdest part, somehow. No. It's how everyone just nods and welcomes 'Erwin'.
Nothing makes sense anymore. Eren's a spectator in his own life. As if everyone's in on a big secret, except for him. It's maddening. It's mind numbing. There's a secret living in his subconsciousness, right under his skin, but he can't claw it free, he can't get it out!
Until Erwin serves him a chai tea with two sugar and a bit of milk for breakfast one day.
"You!" Eren pushes past the heavy double-doors and into the tea shop, filled to the brim with people.
"Eren, no. Don't make a—" Behind him, Armin tries to hold on to his arm, but Eren pulls free, stomping forward relentlessly.
It's been two years since he entered this place, but everything looks like it used to, all those months ago.
Levi blinks up at him, frowning past the queue at Eren. "What—"
"YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!"
"Eren!" Mikasa this time. She's quicker and harsher than Armin in her pull, but still not a match for Eren's emotions.
He shakes her off as well and walks past everyone in line. "You knew! Hange and Erwin knew! And you didn't tell me, you just watched me, you let me wander this world blind and deaf and—"
"Eren, you're making a scene." Armin smiles at the people surrounding them, nodding left and right at waiting patrons. "This isn't the place and time for a conversation about—"
"I deserve to know! I deserve to know why he never said something, just made me tea and kept me here and—"
Mikasa tries to interrupt his protests, but Levi waves a hand. "Hange? Can you or Moblit stand in for me right now?"
It's a bit of back and forth with a few other guests coughing and stretching on their toes, either to express their disapproval of the situation or to see more of it—but eventually, Levi takes Eren's elbow and guides him out the back.
"You awoke." They settle next to the back of the building, leaning against the brick and breathing in dust and grime. This area isn't made for customers, and although it's easy to tell Levi did what he could to keep it clean … well. There's only so much he can do.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Would you have believed me?" Levi scoffs. "You were a kid. You're still one. I'm an adult with my own business, my own life. If I came up to you out of nowhere and told you, 'your dreams are real' … would you have believed me?"
Eren clicks his tongue. Words were never his best weapon. He has a lot of admirable traits, but good communicative abilities aren't on that list. Luckily, even if he had any, Levi wouldn't know. They both operate on blunt truths, not pretty phrases. "I believe you now."
Something very rare happens. A smile plays around the corners of Levi's lips. He cocks his head in amusement. "Yeah?" Although it sounds like a tease, the desperate spark of hope in his eyes gives him away.
Eren smiles back. "Did you know Erwin became a college professor?"
Levi hums, a little confused. "A man of education, like his father."
"And did you know he's dating one of his students?"
Eyebrow raised, Levi doesn't seem judgemental. He probably knew already. "Armin. Yes. Why—"
"Our entire friendship circle looked at that relationship between an eighteen year old and a man close to his forties, and they all just …" Eren shakes his head. "They welcomed Erwin. I was so worried. The age gap, the power imbalance, the money and influence, but … everyone around me acted as if something fell into place."
Levi's eyes widen. "What are you saying?"
Enough of the little play. Eren quickly twists his body, pinning Levi against the brick and mortar. So what if his clothes get dirty? He can wash them again.
"What I'm saying, is," Eren growls, head tilting forward and bowing over Levi with his lips hovering just inches from the other's face, "I'm not buying the age gap argument. Or the money thing. Or anything else you might want to—"
Levi shoots forward like an arrow that was held back for years, finally able to pierce his target. His kiss is deadly in its intensity, consuming, hungry and passionate, just the way he used to battle.
No hesitation. Eren bites and licks back, arms around the small, lithe frame of the man he's loved across lifetimes. They come together like lightning and thunder, bodies meeting in the middle, something new, something animalistic dancing between them.
"You forget I'm from the underground. I might be vary, but I'm not stupid enough to decline whatever luck comes my way." Strong fingers roam up Eren's jaw, tangled into his hair, dragging him into another kiss. "I gave the tea shop the most obvious name I could think of, just so if you'd wake up one day, you'd know where to find me."
Eren groans. His palms settle on Levi's hips, pulling him in, holding him closer, promising, demanding, an entire new lifetime of unfinished business. A fresh start. No titans, no deaths. Just them, their friends, their love, finally able to blossom.
Finally, Eren's no longer a bystander in his own life.