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I should hate him, I mean he and his friends are assholes and were planning to beat the shit out of me. Okay, I know I was a jerk too, but seriously we aren’t supposed to like each other. It’s like a rule in the code you have to follow to be in the engineering and architecture faculty or something. Our faculties are enemies, and our best friends seem to have issues as well, but damn I am attracted to him. I don’t care about, him being a him, I have gotten over being bi a long time ago. It’s more about being rival faculties because that means that more people are involved which means that my parents might find out. However, I wish that I could be with him and I just can't stop thinking about him. He is on my mind all the time and all I want to do is be with him and care about him and love him and desire him. Oh, and everything else that comes into a relationship romantically.
Maybe I'm hallucinating, but I feel like I hear his voice, so I look at the entrance and find I'm not hallucinating. It's him. I sneakily look at him and feel his eyes on me. I want to try to figure out how you make your rival, not your enemy anymore.
I know for a fact that many people have relationships that are enemies to lovers, relationships that turn out fine. However, I still am terrified to like him, or at least admit it out loud.
I hear myself sigh again and hope that nobody heard it but sadly he did. He looks over at me and starts walking towards the bar Sitting down and says, "Are you OK Wai, you have been sighing since I came in here?"
I let out a chuckle and think "Yes I'm fine I just feel like I kind of want to talk to you but I'm terrified of talking to you when your friends are around. I know that we are supposed to be rivals and everything but I do like you. So could we be more than friends?" Well at least I think, I think it but, by his reaction of a jaw drop that turns into a smirk, he has heard it out loud. What am I supposed to do now?
I see him smile and then he says, "I have liked you since the first time I met you, it was during Freshman gathering and you were with Pran. You both were goofing around taking pictures of each other with silly faces. It’s like you sticking your tongue out, made me fall in love at first sight. I know I sound so cheesy right now, but I don’t care, because I do like you. Though, I feel so nervous, that I am just scaring you away right now.” He looks at me and smirks and says, “Now that's an embarrassing confession, yours was just fine.”
I feel like I can’t breathe, but finally, when I catch my breath I say, “Do you like me like that? Do you think that way? Or, is it just to satisfy my worries?”
He reaches his hand over the bar and grabs onto my hand and says, “Yes I do, like you like that, I always have. I am trying to make you feel better, but I would never say something like that and not mean it.
“Wow, I’m surprised that a guy, like you. No, wait, not a guy like you, because that makes it seem there is the only type of guy that can like other guys in that way. I just thought you liked girls, actually, just never mind I am just rambling and sounding dumb. I didn't expect you to feel the same way or say it with such confidence.” I say with a slight confusion on my face.
He sharks his shoulders and says, “Well I have known I'm gay for a long time. I don't like telling people because it's not their business unless I like them. So the reason I'm telling you is that I like you actually might be more than that. I think I kind of used the excuse of being rivals to be around you, to talk to you, to interact with you, to want to make you happy, even from the outside.
I laugh and say “That's okay I admit to doing the same thing. I have probably Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and anything else you have stalked you, so you aren't that bad.”
“Hmm, what did you find on that stalking journey? Did you find any juicy tidbits to share?” He says leaning over across the bar to me.
I smile and laugh, “Nothing that you don’t already know since this is your life and all. Wow, you make me ramble and stumble over my words.”
He squeezes my hand and brings it to his lips and pecks the back of it. As he pulls away he says, “I love when you ramble, I think it’s adorable. My mae told me once that if you make somebody ramble, that means they have feelings for you or the person they are rambling about. So, since I am the subject of the ramble and you are rambling to me, it must mean you have real feelings for me. Also, even though it is my life, I still want to know what you found.”
I blush slightly, though I will never admit to it out loud. Damn it! I do have real feelings for him, but he is not supposed to make me fall more just from one conversation. How does he do that? I feel his stare on me, so I probably should answer, “I just saw that you have three siblings, 2 brothers and one sister. You seem to be very close to them and your parents. You seem to be passionate about food, which you seemed to love from your mae and hia. You get your love for building and designing from your sister. You seem to be closest with your sister, though it’s hard to tell on social media, but you two have a lot of photos of you two goofing around. Honestly I see a lot of photos with you and girls, which is why I thought you were straight. I know that you seem to like Instagram best, because of how much you post on it, and how much work you seem to put in your posts. Whenever I look at it, I think this was done by an artist, because it looks so beautiful. There are probably many things I could never get from social media though, and those are things I want to know.”
He seems to take in the information I said and he nods his head, “Okay yes you are right about everything, and the girls photos are of my sister and her friends. I was kind of adopted as the honorary brother to all of them, they are also the first people to know I am gay. My sister has never met you, but she says she likes you, just from how I talk about you, so she can’t wait. There are many things you will know about me, eventually, well only if you want to. Oh, you never answered if you have real feelings for me or not?”
I blush and nod my head, “Yes I do have real feelings for you and want to know everything about you if I can.” I look away slightly shyly and say, “I know we barely know each other, but do you think we could maybe go on a date?” Since I am looking away, I feel the confidence to say it. Though I feel a hand on my cheek making me look at Korn.
He looks at me with a smile and says, “Okay that is better, I don’t want you to feel shy about telling me about how you feel. I will never put your feelings or thoughts down, even if I disagree with them. This one though, I have no doubt in my mind about what my answer is.” I wait for his answer, wanting for him just to tell me, but I am too in my thoughts I don’t see him lean forward. Until, I feel a hand on me cheek and then feel his breath on my lips and then hear a whisper. In the whisper he says, “If you don’t want this, please tell me. It’s okay if you don’t, I will never be mad about that.”
I smile and whisper back, “I do, if it’s what I think.”
I stare into his eyes and then he looks down at my lips, “What if I want to kiss you?” I nod my enthusiastically and so his smile brightens so big and leans in the rest of the way. Wow, as I feel his lips on mine, I feel coming from my belly and butterflies releasing and just everything feeling right in the world. I moan slightly because I can’t help myself, luckily the bar is empty tonight since it’s almost closing. I feel his smile on his lips as he nips my lips slightly and I just wrap my arms around his neck and deepen it slightly. We don’t part until we realize that breathing is required for staying alive. I know that even though I feel like I just died and went to heaven, I didn’t and wouldn’t want to, now that I possibly could have the one thing I wanted for quite a while. Wow, his cheesiness is rubbing off on me, even in my thoughts. I chuckle at my last thought and watch how he looks confused.
He looks worried and says, “Why are you laughing?” He only says that one question, but I know what he is thinking, ‘Is he laughing at me? Was I that bad?’ Or, something else along those lines.
I know I have to defeat those thought right away, “I laughed because I had a cheesy thought.” He looks at me confused, but also not worried anymore, and so I continue, “Do you want to hear my thought?” He nods and so I say, “After we parted, I thought that if we didn’t have to breathe I didn’t want to leave that kiss. Though that wasn’t the cheesy thought, that was I feel like I just died and went to heaven. However I thought, I didn’t and wouldn’t want to, now that I possibly could have the one thing I wanted for quite a while. Then I realized how your cheesiness is rubbing off on me.” He just smiles at me.
The smile seems to make his face even brighter, and makes me blush which makes me look down at the bar. That is until I feel his hand lift my head, and as I look up he leans in to kiss my forehead. Okay, never mind that is the best kind of kiss that I can receive, damn him! He holds my face and says, “I love when you blush like that, especially since I have been the one who has made it happen for this whole talk. I like how my cheesiness is rubbing off on you, because I like cheesiness. You don’t have to say yes, but are you available after work?”
I look at him in confusion and say, “Maybe, but why?”
He bites his lip and says, “I was wanting to ask if you would like to go on a date? Though probably before that, I should ask if you would be my boyfriend. So, will you be my boyfriend? I know this is fast, but I can’t wait another second now that I know that you feel this way too.”
I bite my lip and think, worrying slightly, but he is right so I say, “Yes I will be your boyfriend, I can’t live without being your boyfriend for another second. Yes I will go on a date with you, tonight, though it’s almost 1:00 AM, where could we go?”
He just smiles, “I know a place, but one thing I want to ask right now, can we keep us dating on the down low at first. I just want to be with you, and don’t want to have a mess with our friends.” I nod completely agreeing with what he is saying.
I feel giddiness and quickly close so I can go on a date with my boyfriend. I feel myself smiling just thinking that phrase, ‘My boyfriend,’ it really hits the spot and sends a jolt to my heart.