Work Text:
It was one of those nights again. Those dark nights, when even the moon hid from him. Out of all times, his senses leave him, when he would need them the most. Like this, when his hair blends with the colour of the night´s sky and his nails retreat into his skin, it is then that also his senses failed him. He would not be able to make out an enemy if it stood at arm´s length.
It was winter again, cold and freezing like every other year. One of too many InuYasha did not even care to count anymore. He had been prepared like always. Like the times before he met his friends, before he met Kagome, before he met Kikyo. He knew it would come to this, time took them from him, like it took his mother from him.
A small cave in the mountains was his den of choice. High enough that most demons did not bother hunting there. But with the safety came the price of the cold. Even though he was wrapped in multiple layers of fur, he felt the numbness spreading through his whole body to the degree he would not be able to decipher whether he was freezing or boiling to death. His heartbeat slowed at an alarming rate and he knew that if he were to fall asleep, he would never open his eyes again. But that would not happen, he will survive, he always did. He has been through much worse.
Yet it was hard, he had been shaking and quivering ever since the sun had set and even in his half demon form the cold was hard to endure. He had tried to lite up a fire, but that task proved to be impossible, especially for a human, as the winter storm raging outside suffocated every little flame at its source. His lips would be blue by now, and soreness creeped up his throat. Maybe he was getting sick, but that would be gone by the morrow.
Sometimes, in those moments, when his thoughts became as dark as the shadows around him, his mind would wander off to things he had not even dared to think of, when his mother passed. Why was he still alive anyway? Did he have any reason to go on like this? Most of his loved ones were gone. Sure, Shippo, for example, was still around, but he had his own family by now. With wife and kids, there was not really any space for the hanyou to fit in. Sango’s and Miroku’s children were still alive as well, but by now they were adults and lead their own lifes. InuYasha did not want to interfere. As for his own family, it never went beyond Kagome. Sure, they wanted children, but it never seemed to work. After years of trying, they decided to just give up. Kagome´s body grew old over time and would not be able to carry a child anymore. So, in the end, after his loved ones left this world, InuYasha was all alone just like in the beginning.
He knew it would come to this. To him, it was even a surprise that there was a time in his life, when he was not alone, when he was allowed to feel happiness. He is grateful for that, but what point is there in continuing a life, when there is nothing to hope for, noting to work for. He will never be as happy as in the time he had spend with Kagome, she was everything to him. Anything that could happen now would pale in comparison to her, to his love for her. He just knew it, so what is the point in fighting for a life he did not even want to live.
He closed his eyes as he laid down on the cave´s stone floor. Forgetting his pain and the freezing cold creeping through his body, he waited for his mind to drift off to his last dream. Yet before his eyes it was not Kagome, as he had hoped to dream of, it was his brother who appeared. Sesshoumaru grabbed him by his collar, pulling InuYasha from his fur-cocoon up to his feet. It was then that the hanyou realised this was not a dream, his brother was in fact there before him, even if darkness mostly hid him from his human eyes. The demon placed one hand behind InuYasha´s head, while the other pushed his chin up to meet the older one´s eyes.
For a long moment, they just silently held each other’s gaze, as InuYasha noticed something in Sesshoumaru´s eyes, through his foggy mind, he had only ever seen, when the demon looked at Rin, the young child that followed his brother around. He knew she meant much to Sesshoumaru, but as time never runs in favour of humans, that little girl aged and passed away as every human does.
Compassion, it was compassion he saw in his brother’s eyes. But that could not possibly be true. His brain, numb from the cold, had to play tricks on him. It was true, Sesshoumaru had definitely been more civil towards him upon meetings, but that had been it. They had not met in years, so how is it that the demon was standing before him now, in his supposedly last moments, looking at him like that? InuYasha did not know. What he did know was that the warmth of Sesshoumaru´s tail, wrapping around him, comforted him enough to finally let go of his consciousness.
As the half demon opened his eyes, he was met with darkness. It was still night and he was still human and alive. The only thing that changed was that he was now comfortably warm instead of freezing to death. When he tried to move however, he found that to be impossible, as he was tightly wrapped in fur. He looked up and even though the only thing that illuminated the cave was the light of the stars, he could make out the silhouette of his older brother, holding him as he sat against the cave wall. He knew he should probably freak out, but he felt strangely save as well as weak, so he did nothing. It was comforting, knowing he was not alone. He rested his head back on the furry tail as his mind drifted off to sleep once more.
Sesshoumaru noticed his brothers awakening, but remained silent, even though he had a lot he wanted to talk about with him. About his loss and the feeling of loneliness, the once cold demon lord thought he finally could relate to. He knew his brother went through a lot, way more then him and he knew about his state of mind and what he had tried to do this night, but he would not let that happen. Never. But that conversation could wait till tomorrow. Right now, the human in his arms was sick and fragile. He needed to rest. As he looked down at him, InuYasha´s peaceful face resting against his chest, he swore he would never let him feel the way he did now, he would protect him in body and mind. Always.
