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Spinning wheel of fate, pull the threads of disaster. As King of the Abyss, I shall bestow this upon you.
Malleus didn't think much about putting everyone to sleep. What he wants is for things to remain as they are, for everyone to be happy and not go through such sad partings. He wants Lilia to stay, and he knows most people want that too.
And it doesn't have to stop at Lilia. Separations, misfortunes, unfairness. All of the sadness in the world doesn't have to exist. He'd put everyone to sleep, to live in their dreams, their ideal world.
Everyone can be the hero of their fairy tales, so he doesn't mind being the true villain underneath it all.
That being said, he is curious about what the others dream about. And he needs to make sure everyone is dreaming happily, so he watches over their dreams.
Visiting people's dreams is full of surprises. He can't control their dreams, so he can only "exist" in the dream if the person also dreams of his existence. If he doesn't exist in the dream, he can only view it from an omniscient point of view.
The first time he goes to Cater's dream, he finds himself as a child, his height barely reaching the monkey bars in the playground that he's at. He wasn't even sure whose dream it was until a cheery voiced calls out "Malle-chan, let's go!"
Cater is a child as well, his grin bright and his eyes sparkling with childhood innocence.
In this dream, Malleus is his best friend from the daycare. Cater grabs his hand and drags him over to the swings. The weather is warm and the breeze a gentle caress between the joyful laughter of the children around them.
"Malle-chan, do you think we can make friends at Queendom of Roses?"
Despite the cheery atmosphere, Cater's voice was quiet, and Malleus almost misses it while they were swinging. He puts his foot down and stops the swing.
"Of course. You're a nice person, so I'm sure you'll make friends," he answers.
Cater smiles at him, and warmth blossom in his heart like the sun rays enveloping the horizon.
"You're right. And I heard the town we're moving to has lots of kids our age, I'm sure we'll be fine."
Malleus isn't sure about the situation in the dream, so he asks the most important thing he wants to know.
"Are you happy?"
The question is answered with a giggle, and Malleus couldn't help smiling at the adorable sight.
"Of course I'm happy, because you'll be moving with me! At least we have each other, so we can make new friends together."
It's a simple dream. Just having a friend with you as you grow up. He's surprised that Cater dreamed he was the friend. He assumed Cater would find it easier to dream about growing up with Trey, or even Riddle but he assumed wrong.
He's not familiar with the feeling of growing up together with a friend, but he's always had Lilia all his life. It's hard to let go of someone you've been with for a long time. He wonders if Cater has a person like that in his life. In any case, he's honoured that Cater thought of him as a friend.
It's a nice dream.
The next time he drops by Cater's dream, he finds himself in an unfamiliar place. He's sitting on a soft bed with blue canopy curtains, and the room has soft beige wallpapers. There are three other beds in the room, so Malleus assumes it's a dorm room.
Just as he was wondering about the setting, the door to the room opens and Cater walks in.
"Haaaaa I'm so tired~" he complains as he pulls his hair out of a ponytail. He takes off the sash in his uniform and only then does Malleus recognize it.
Royal Sword Academy. They are Royal Sword Academy students in this dream.
Cater notices him looking in his direction and promptly drops himself on Malleus, pushing them both on the bed.
Oh, so they are in this kind of relationship this time.
Malleus puts a hand on Cater's head then brushes it down his wavy hair.
"Long day?"
"Hmmm."
They stay in silence, Malleus continuing his ministrations and Cater sighs in content.
"My boyfriend is so lovely."
Despite everything, Malleus feels his cheeks grow warm at the confirmation of their relationship.
He went to everyone's dreams already, and he's been put into roles he never imagined himself in. But none caught him by surprise like this. No one dreamed of having him as a romantic partner.
Dreams are said to be many things, and many believe that a dream is a reflection of the heart's desire. This is Cater's dream, and he is Cater's boyfriend. If a dream is truly what the heart wants, then Malleus is understandably surprised. He never knew Cater saw him like that. And to add to the growing confusion, they were in RSA.
"Are you happy?" Malleus asks instead, because that was the point of everything. Everyone's dreams are different, but as long as they are happy, then Malleus would know that he's succeeded.
Cater raises his head to look at Malleus, and the light reflected in his forest green eyes are reminiscent of the stars in the night sky.
"Lying here with you? I wouldn't dream of anything more."
And that is enough for Malleus.
He wouldn't admit it, but he looks forward to visiting Cater's dreams.
He's greeted by loud cheers and bright lights the next time he does.
He had to take a moment to get himself oriented and notices he's surrounded by many people. Yet, everyone's attention is on something at the front so he looks up as well.
"Is everyone having fun?!"
Another wave of cheers echoes around him as the performer on stage riled them up. It was Cater.
"We have more songs to perform, so keep your energy high as always!!"
Malleus sees the familiar guitar in Cater's arms, and even more familiar faces on stage. Kalim is at the drums, adjusting his beanie and Lilia is also there, his signature bass in hand.
Seeing Lilia in Cater's dream brings a smile to his face. This is how things should be.
"This next song is actually dedicated to someone special. He's been there for me through it all. He picks me up when I fall and he holds me when I start to crumble. Malleus Draconia, this one is for you."
And once again, Malleus is shocked to find his gaze meeting Cater's directly even from the distance. Cater winks and soft guitar strums play through the speakers.
This dream is straight from the movies that Lilia occasionally showed him to teach him more about humans, particularly those of the schooling age.
It's sweet, the song dedication and the soft smiles Cater keeps sending his way as he sings lyrics that Malleus couldn't quite make out.
Like the movies, Malleus goes to find him backstage after the show. Cater is slightly sweaty and he's high-fiving everyone in celebration of the successful performance.
"Oh, Malleus!" he beams as he spots Malleus.
"That was a wonderful performance, as always."
He opens his arms as Cater approaches him and engulfs him in a hug. The feeling of Cater's warm presence in his arms is familiar.
"Did you like the song?" Cater asks.
"Yes. I enjoyed every second of it."
"I'm glad. We did work on it together, after all!" Cater smiles up at him.
Oh, so that was the situation.
"Are you happy?" Malleus asks, the question becoming a routine.
"Why would you ask that? Of course I-" Cater abruptly stops mid-sentence, his eyes suddenly going wide.
"Is something wrong?" Malleus asks, seeing the odd behaviour.
Cater shakes his head. "Nothing. I just thought of something. Hey, wanna grab supper with the rest of us? Kalim's treat!"
Agreeing to the invitation, Malleus lets himself get dragged by Cater to the others. On their way to the designated restaurant, Cater nudges him.
"Say Malleus, when exactly did we work on the song? I suddenly forgot."
"A few weeks ago. You started with the chords and I assisted with the melody."
"Right. I remember it now."
Malleus found it odd that Cater asked him a question that is related to what was the past in the dream. Usually everything that happens in the dream are unquestionable, things that happen as natural as breathing from the dreamer's point of view.
He doesn't think too much about it, as Cater links their arm together and rests his head against his shoulder while they walk.
As long as Cater's happy.
"And that concludes the presentation of the budget for this year's festival. Any disagreements or questions?"
Malleus finds himself at a table, Azul having just finished talking about what appears to be the budget plans.
"Sounds good!" Kalim comments.
"No objections here," Vil nods.
"Agreed," the mechanical voice from the tablet voices out.
Leona yawns and waves a hand, and that's good enough.
"Great job as always, Azul-kun~"
At Heartslabyul's seat, Cater grins. The crown on his head glints from the lights in the room, and Malleus could see that the usual red diamond on his cheek is missing.
He is wearing the Heartslabyul dorm head uniform. And he is pointedly looking at Malleus' direction. Actually, everyone is looking at him.
Right, they were going around the table.
"It sounds adequate. I have no complaints."
Happy with the whole table's approval, Azul gives a dramatic bow.
"Thank you for your time. I shall send a copy of the budget shortly."
Leona gets up and that signals the end of the meeting. The others follow suit so Malleus stands up as well.
"You seemed distracted today. Anything bothering you?" Vil asks him as they head towards the door.
Before Malleus could come up with a response, an arm made it's way onto his.
Cater leans his head to Malleus' shoulder and laughs.
"He was just distracted by his boyfriend's beauty, right?"
Malleus smiles. This seems to be the constant in Cater's dreams. He doesn't mind it. "That's right. You look stunning today."
Vil rolls his eyes and promptly leaves, not bothering to be in the vicinity of the lovers.
"Let's go to the cafeteria," Cater says, not detaching himself from Malleus.
"Okay."
Along the way, they bump into a few familiar faces. Most of them just waved in greeting while a few Heartslabyul students stopped them to ask Cater questions related to the dorm. Cater greets everyone warmly and patiently guides the students around their problems.
They buy some food and sit at a table in the courtyard. It's supposed to be a comfortable situation, but Malleus feels slightly wary of the extended silence between them. Cater was barely looking at him too. He decides to break the silence.
"Diamond-"
Cater abruptly raises his head and looks at Malleus with sharp eyes.
"You haven't called me that since first year."
Surprised again at the discrepancy in Cater's own dream world, Malleus carefully threads the conversation.
"I apologize. It slipped my mind."
Cater doesn't comment on it but maintains the sharp gaze on Malleus. He feels a bit unnerved with the stare, as if Cater-
No, it’s not possible. But he has to make sure.
"Are you-"
"-happy? How many times have you asked me this question?"
Malleus tries to play it off. Sometimes dreams can get confusing, but as long as the dreamer doesn't think too much the dream can continue.
"I forgot I already asked, don't mind it then."
Cater shakes his head. "How many times have we been in this situation Malleus-kun? How did we even get here?"
Malleus frowns at the questions and notices the changed honorific to his name. He realizes it then.
Cater is awake.
"Is it Silver? Did he invade your dream and told you?" he doesn't bother trying to salvage the situation.
"I realized it myself."
There are many ways a person can discover that they're dreaming. Some say that if you look at the time in a dream, you'd always find that it changes rapidly. The basis behind it is the thinking process. When a person starts to think and find confusion, they start to realize the reality of the situation.
It isn't too surprising that Cater is awake, but Malleus wonders what made him wake up.
"How? I thought you were happy?"
Cater scoffs, and the unusual action looks odd on him.
"That's the thing isn't it? I always have everything I want, just like a dream come true."
Malleus takes a deep breath, reminding himself to stay calm. Usually when someone starts to wake up, he would put them in a deeper sleep. But for some reason, he doesn't want to put Cater through that if he could help it.
"That is exactly the situation right now. Is there a problem with it?"
Maybe he can show Cater what he envisions, explain why he's doing this.
Cater stands up and slams his hand on the table. "Of course there's a problem! We can't continue dreaming forever."
"But you're happy in all your dreams. Isn't that-"
"Have I ever actually said I was happy? Truly happy?"
Malleus starts to get irritated. He doesn't understand it. Cater has been getting everything that he ever wanted in his dreams. Without meaning too, blot-like dream creatures start to appear around them.
"You're well-liked. You're a respectable dorm head. You're in a relationship with me. And yet you're still not happy?"
"No."
No, Cater isn't happy. The ideal world that Cater himself envisioned, that Malleus has allowed to exist, and still it isn't enough to bring happiness.
"Why?"
"Because this isn't real, Malleus-kun."
Why. Why are humans so insistent on being real? Why do they insist on living in reality, even when reality is a harsh world out of their control?
The blot creatures start to grow bigger and approach the two of them. Cater and Malleus both stand their ground.
"You're not even happy in the real world. At least here you get to dream about things that would otherwise be impossible."
Cater shakes his head again and Malleus only then notices the glassy green irises.
"Experiencing a fake happiness is even worse than living in a hurtful reality. Malleus-kun, just look at us. I want us to be lovers, heck, even just friends but are we really? We call ourselves boyfriends but ask yourself this: do you really have feelings for me? What made you fall for me, how did we learn to like each other, what was our first date like. None of these actually exist because this is just a dream, and it's fake."
The creatures start to engulf Cater, drowning him in blot from his feet and slowly curling upwards.
Malleus sees the glint of a single tear falling from Cater's right eye as he closes it and disappears with the blot.
They're always sitting at the same place. Under a tree, somewhere above a hill near the field. It would always be at sunset, the sun casting deep purples and oranges in the sky. No one would be around, always just the two of them.
Sometimes they would sit side-by-side, their shoulders touching. Sometimes they would lie down on the grass, their hands intertwined. Today, Malleus has his head on Cater's lap, the latter absent-mindedly running his hand through Malleus' hair. He is looking at something faraway in the horizon, his green eyes lifeless.
It's the effect of the curse. Being put in deeper sleep means the person stops dreaming about detailed situations.
They don't talk. Malleus doesn't know what to say, and Cater might have lost the ability to form words from being in deep sleep.
Cater's hand moves from Malleus' hair to his cheek, which makes him look up.
Cater is smiling down at him, but Malleus could only feel severe sadness from the curve of his lips.
Lips which surprisingly moved and spoke, asking an all too familiar question.
"Are you happy?"
Malleus slowly sits up, pondering on the question. He's been visiting everyone's dreams, making sure they're happy. Some weren't, so he does what he could to make sure they are. Just like Cater.
But is he happy? Does his happiness count when he's ensuring everyone else is? All that he wants is...
All that he wants is for things to stay as they are. He wants Lilia to stay with them. With him.
He doesn't want Silver to cry. He doesn't want Lilia to be sad.
But he hasn't actually been with Lilia, the true Lilia, not a made-up dream Lilia, for a long time.
Silver and Sebek are trying to fight him and find their way out of the dream as well.
Is this really what he wanted?
He finds himself embraced by a pair of arms, a hand patting the back of his head. He blinks and only then notices how blurry his vision is and that his cheeks are wet.
He's crying.
He wraps his arms around Cater and buries his face on Cater's shoulder, trying his best to stifle his sobs.
This whole situation is not what he wanted, but he also doesn't want to return to a world where Lilia was going to leave.
"I'm scared. I don't know what to do."
At long last, he finally confesses the truth. Cater continues patting his head and letting him cry. After a while, Cater speaks up.
"I know it's scary, and very very painful, but you know what to do Malleus-kun."
Cater gently pushes him away, so that they can look at each other.
"It's time to wake everyone up."
Deep down in his heart, he knows the dreams weren't going to last. But he tries to deny it because the alternative is just...
"Hey," Cater holds his face in his hands, and rests their forehead together. "It's going to be hard, but let's say goodbye to Lilia properly, okay?"
Cater has tears running down his cheeks too. Malleus forgot that he's not the only one hurting about Lilia's departure.
Feeling too exhausted with the overwhelming emotions, Malleus could only nod in response and the scenery around them starts to crumble. As Cater slowly disappears along with his dream, he smiles.
"Thank you for the wonderful dreams, Malleus-kun. Let's meet up properly when we're both awake."