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“Don’t cause any trouble while I make lunch for you, alright?”
“Ah!”
Lena lowered herself to pick Maria up, and she cooed happily as Lena proceeded to shower affection on her daughter, kissing her round and soft cheeks repeatedly. When Lena put her down she held her hands up and cooed, as if she wanted more affection. Lena was happy to oblige her request as she kissed her tummy, eliciting giggles from Maria, and she felt as if she was still living in a dream.
It was like yesterday when she started feeling a piercing pain in her abdomen and she was rushed into the hospital. The agony was like nothing she had experienced as she gave birth with Shin by her side, and the process was torture as she attempted to push beyond all the pain she was feeling from her lower body.
When she finally held her daughter in her arms after hours of pain and suffering, it felt like all was good in the world. Her tiny and fragile body, her new baby smell, her beautiful, blood-red eyes, same as Shin’s, stared curiously at Lena, and she felt her heart might burst from all the emotions she was feeling right now.
It felt as if she had grown so much already. Recently, Maria had been attempting to walk despite never crawling (much to the concern of Lena, but apparently it was not abnormal behaviour) as she started to walk by leaning at walls and holding on to various furniture, including one of the baby chairs she bought for her. Seeing her taking a few uncertain steps was oh so cute, and Lena had the urge to hug her daughter every time she tried to walk towards her, cooing happily as she leant on the walls for support and attempted to get near her.
Ever since she was born, Shin and Maria have had a deep bond due to Shin’s esper abilities. He was able to feel what Maria had been feeling and thinking for quite some time, and Shin was very aware of her needs and her emotions. He was a fantastic father too, he was very good with changing diapers after all, and he always was the first to respond when she needed anything. It made Lena feel a little uncomfortable, as she felt that she understood Maria a lot less than Shin did, and her bond with Maria felt weaker compared to Shin and Maria’s bond at times.
After Lena absentmindedly gave Maria her favourite stuffed toy, a silver-coloured bunny that matched the colour of their hair, Maria looked at Lena with her characteristic toothy grin, her two front teeth only visible recently, and her happy look as she started to jerk the stuffed toy around. The sight always melted Lena’s heart, and she took a few seconds to look at her daughter play. Lena then went to the kitchen to prepare Maria’s lunch, a vegetable puree which would be easy for her to eat. Taking the frozen portion out from the fridge, Lena put it on a saucepan and heated it on the stove, and as she waited for the food to cook, Lena felt herself become tired as a moment of calm was afforded to her.
Since Maria’s birth Lena’s life has been hectic, and sleep was the first thing that was sacrificed to ensure everything was done. Having to deal with a newborn and her other duties to Giad took most of her time. When she could even touch the bed Lena’s worries and fears for her newborn kept her awake too, not to mention the scenes of war she would regularly dream of, and Shin and her often laid on the bed, unable to sleep, which resulted in lengthy sessions where they shared their worries and fears.
Lena snapped back to concentrate on stirring the portion even though sleep threatened to overtake her. She still had much to do. After making Maria’s lunch, she had to take care of the clothes, then prepare for the meeting with Ernst and the political actors of Giad tonight, not to mention preparing the next batch of baby food as there weren't a lot of puree portions left. She had been away from politics for too long now, and her duty in being a figurehead for the remaining Albans was something that she had to return to. It made her appreciate every moment she had with Maria, as she knew times such as these, where she could just have fun with Maria, were going to be fleeting afterwards, and she was going to cherish the time she had left.
As she took the puree out and left the kitchen, the familiar latch clicking as she closed the safety gate, Lena saw Maria looking at her, and she was immediately hit by the sad look Maria had on her face. The puppy dog eyes and the cute frown on her face was very very endearing, and Lena had the thought to not feed Maria what she prepared for lunch. Lena quickly steeled herself and got the bowl on the table, however, and as she picked the spoon on the side, Maria’s face only looked even more sad, if it was even possible.
“Mama knows it’s not your favourite, Maria, but it’s for you to grow up nice and healthy, m’kay?”
“Ah…”
Lena scooped up a little puree, and Maria already averted her face from the spoon, attempting to shield her mouth with the back of the baby chair. Lena rubbed the back of Maria’s head, and as she enjoyed the affection, Lena poked the spoon into Maria’s mouth, but she was seemingly prepared for it, issuing a sound of protest as she dodged and looked at Lena angrily.
What ensued was a game of cat and mouse as Lena tried to feed her daughter, and Maria resisted despite the futility of doing so. She dodged Lena with the best of her ability, squirmed so hard she somehow got her legs free from the baby chair and attempted to leave the chair (Lena hoped Maria wouldn’t do it ever again; it was way to dangerous for Lena’s liking), and batted the spoon away whenever she got the chance.
By the end of the feeding Lena just felt really tired by it all, and the only good thing about it was that Maria actually finished the puree and that she looked relatively content, her toothy grin being back on her face, and she started to look around, her eyes staring at Lena at times, while she gently slapped her arms on the baby chair’s armrests, as if to contain her enthusiasm.
“Maria, don’t ever climb out from your chair again, okay?”
“Ah… Ah!”
Lena picked up Maria and held her up while she sat on the sofa, her big, blood-red eyes once again looked at her curiously. She was attempting to ascertain what Lena wanted to do next, and her limbs stilled, showing her attention to her mother, the only movement being her tongue curling to a U.
Lena wanted to teach Maria how to speak.
Maria was around the age to speak, after all, she was already a year old, and even though she was a very vocal child, she never spoke a word. She did understand that her name is Maria and she responded to ‘no’ at times, but every time Lena tried to teach her to say ‘mama’ Maria just wasn’t responsive. Lena knew it needed time, but she still felt some anxiety over it despite the doctors telling her to not worry, so she started to ask Maria to say 'mama' daily. Recently, Maria looked like she was trying, so it was a good sign.
‘Maria, say ‘mama’!’
‘Ah…’
Maria’s pitch increased, as if she didn’t understand, and Lena rubbed the back of Maria’s head to reassure her that it was alright, as Maria looked a little sad and looked like she wanted to cry. Maria closed her eyes a little as she was petted, as if she was like Nietzsche, the family cat, and looked a lot more happy and determined when Lena stopped.
“Say ‘mama’, Maria!’ Lena said, her sing-song voice helping her daughter along.
“Ah… ah ah!”
“Hmm, that’s better…”
Putting Maria on the sofa, Lena blew air against Maria’s belly, tickling her and making her squeal in delight, and Lena could see Maria’s face light up as she played with her. Picking Maria back up from the sofa, Lena kissed her in the forehead, before holding her in front of her once again.
“Maria, say ‘mama’!”
“Ma…?”
“Good, Maria, very good! Upsy Daisy!”
Lena then proceeded to lift Maria up and down, and she giggled while she did it, her loud, contagious laughter spreading through the whole living room. As Lena’s arms felt tired after a few rounds, Lena lowered her own hands, putting Maria on her thighs.
Poking Maria’s cheeks, Lena said,
“You’ve improved quite a lot today, Maria! Let’s see what you can do tomorrow, hmm?”
But Maria acted a little weird after her success in pronouncing the syllable. Her face looked determined, as if she was preparing for something, and Lena, curious, waited for her daughter to do something. Hopefully it wasn’t her just attempting to defecate again, as Maria had made that expression a few times before she did so, and it was always a mess because it was going to be huge mess if she looked like this.
“Ah… ah ah… ma-ah…? Mama!”
After saying it, Maria looked very proud of herself, but Lena wasn’t really registering.
“Wait… what?”
“Um… um… can you say it again?”
Maria looked at Lena again, and she looked determined once again. The seconds where Lena waited for Maria to maybe talk again felt like minutes as everything slowed down for her, the fatigue that haunted her being forgotten.
“Mama!”
Careful to not harm Maria, Lena barely contained her excitement as she stood up while holding Maria, but she held Maria high up, making Maria giggle once again.
“Yay! You did it, Maria!”
Bringing her down a little, Lena showered kisses on Maria’s soft cheeks, and as she sat back on the sofa, Lena held Maria, her head fitting snugly on Lena’s shoulder, ensuring that she was comfortable in Lena’s embrace, and the overwhelming emotions inside of her rushed around, making her feel tingly all over her body.
Moments like these really made taking care of Maria all worth it, isn’t it? It was to see her daughter grow, to see her firsts, to see her start walking, start playing, start speaking. It was to be with her every step of the way, to help her when she needed it, to be the person she returns to when she encounters troubles, the rock in the storm that is life. Eventually, one day, when it is time for Maria to leave Lena, to chart her own course, to live her own life, Lena would be glad that she was there for her, to nurture her, to encourage her, to admonish her.
At the end of it all, Lena would never regret having Maria.