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Todos Me Miran!

Summary:

On the first opening night of his troupe's rendition of "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes - The Play", Bruno has to stand in for one of the performers.

Notes:

Based on an idea I had a while ago, accompanied with some really nice art by piepelu on tumblr! And also for the drag prompt for Madrigay week!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

To say Bruno was having the toughest night of his life would be the understatement of the century. 

 

He had put all of his blood, sweat, and especially his tears into getting “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes: The Play” off the ground and onto the stage of the theater his group performed at. It wasn’t an easy task! He had to not only select group members for roles, but also had to have an audition for extra roles, main character roles, extras for main character roles, etc. And Bruno hated to hurt people’s feelings, and seeing people walk off disappointed when they were denied a role did not make him feel great, but it was a necessity in the end. 

 

He also had to set up concessions and the cost of said concessions, and had to persuade his sobrinos y sobrinas to man the concessions stand and the ticket booth. 

 

That part was actually the easy part because his sobrinos y sobrinas were always more than happy to help him out with any project he had, and he was always grateful for their help. 

 

Now, tonight was opening night, and not only did they run out of popcorn and had to make a quick mad-dash to the closest food store, but Gloria, the actress who played Marilyn, had broken her nose after tripping on the stairs exiting the stage and her extra-

 

“An hour?! Selena, we don’t have an hour!”

 

Was currently running late, just when the most iconic scene, the “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend” number, was going to come on in 15 minutes

 

So, yes, Bruno was just mere moments away from grabbing a handful of the curtains and screaming into them, thank you very much. 

 

“No, no, I get it, I get that you don’t have control over the traffic Selena, but, you have to understand, I am about to…no, no, I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry, you don’t deserve to be the target of my frustration, l-listen…just, call me when you’re near the theater, okay? Good luck with traffic.”

 

Beep

 

“So that’s it then, my play is a failure…”

 

Bruno hung up the phone and slid down out of his chair and onto the floor in utter defeat.

 

Think, think, think! There’s got to be something I can do to keep this going…

 

Bruno ran his hands down his face in a desperate attempt to think. There was no one here who could memorize the lines, get in costume, and sing and dance on short notice.

 

No one, except…

Bruno sat up in realization.

 

Should he? 

 

I mean, would it be possible? How would the audience react, would they be confused and angered or would they go along with it?

 

No, no, he couldn’t…but, then again…

 

Bruno stood up and made his way to the door, just as it was being opened by Melanie, the costume director.

 

“Ah, g-good, Melanie, I was looking for you…,” he stuttered. “I need you to get me the Marilyn dress and a corset, is that okay with you?”

 

Melanie nodded and hurried out of the room.

 

“Oh! I need you to help me into the corset, if you don’t mind,” he called after her.

 

Bruno made his way over to a mirror and table that was in the corner of the room and pulled out a drawer that had a makeup set in it.

 

I trust myself more with this role than anyone here, if I’m being honest…,” he thought, putting his hair up into a bun.




Miguel was starting to get a bit worried.

 

The curtains had not opened since the beginning of intermission, which was now half an hour ago, and they were supposed to open ten minutes ago.

 

Everyone in the audience was starting to get restless, murmurs of confusion and annoyance were rippling through the seats.

 

Miguel had gotten a text from Bruno fifteen minutes ago notifying him about the situation regarding the Marilyn actress, and it sounded pretty serious. Had they not been able to sort that out yet?

 

Just as he was about to get up out of his seat and see for himself, a loudspeaker crackled.

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen! We apologize for the delay, but we had run into unforeseen setbacks. Please enjoy the rest of the show!”

 

There were cheers and sighs of relief through the theater, Miguel joining them.

 

Looks like they were able to sort it out after all ,” Miguel thought to himself. 

 

The curtains opened, and the crowd drew silent at the scene before them. 

 

A large, sparkly staircase was set in the middle of the stage, candelabras adorning the balusters. 

 

Men in tuxedos danced around the stage carrying trays of diamonds and necklaces, while women in fluffy dresses danced with them, suddenly grinding to a halt as the stage light fixed on a lone figure in a glittery pink dress.

 

They slowly turned around, revealing themselves to be…

 

Wait…Bruno?! ” Miguel’s jaw practically fell to the floor.

 

And it sure was Bruno, wearing the iconic pink dress and gloves, his chest hair visibly peeking out from the brassiere. Despite not having shaved, he had also apparently put on makeup, blush was carefully powdered on his cheeks, red lipstick was visible, and he had even stuck on fake eyelashes. 

 

The audience too was shocked, with small gasps and murmurs waving out through the rows, before being quickly silenced by music, and as Bruno began to make his way down the stairs, he started to sing.

 

The French are glad to die for love, they delight in fighting duels…

 

Bruno raised up his arms behind his head, revealing his armpit hair, as he kept singing.

 

But I prefer a man who lives and gives…expensive…jewels…

 

The way Bruno moved was sultry and smooth, almost like he was Marilyn Monroe herself. 

 

Miguel was still in a state of shock, mouth agape, but not out of disgust.

 

But rather, at how gorgeous Bruno looked. 

 

Miguel couldn’t explain it, but the way he looked like he was a goddess that had stepped out of heaven, like Aphrodite herself stepping out of the sea…it was like all of the oxygen in his lungs was now gone, because how could he even dream of breathing in the same air as this incredible being?

 

Miguel wanted so badly to be those men in suits on stage, holding onto Bruno and twirling him in the air, only to catch him in his arms. Watching Bruno dance was akin to being under hypnosis, it was simply breathtaking. 

 

Before he knew it, the dancing and singing were over, and he was the first to stand up in an ovation.

 

He was sure Bruno blew a kiss his way. 



Thankfully, Selena had just driven into the parking lot right as the singing and dancing were over, so Bruno didn’t have to perform in her place for the rest of the play.

 

Not that he wouldn’t of minded, of course.

 

Now he was backstage in his dressing room, the dress now back on folded on the table, the high heels thrown onto the couch along with the gloves, all that was left on was the corset and the makeup.

 

And of course, his underwear, Bruno wasn’t a freak. 

 

Bruno was just starting to take off the eyelashes when there was a knock on the door.

 

“Come in!”

 

In the mirror, Bruno could see Miguel standing in the doorway and turned around to greet him.

 

“Oh, hey Migo! How’d you like i-”

 

In just a couple of strides, Miguel had made it across the room and now had Bruno on the table and his tongue down his throat.

 

Bruno just wrapped his legs around Miguel’s torso and pushed Miguel even more into the kiss with his hand, enjoying the moment. 

 

Miguel pulled away to catch his breath.

 

Dios, you don’t know how badly I want to nibble on those legs of yours…”

 

“I take it you liked my performance, then?” Bruno chuckled, untangling his legs and getting down from the table to continue with what he was doing.

 

“Oh, cariño, you have no idea,” Miguel smoothed the wrinkles out of his shirt. “You were incredible! You were just…wow!”

 

“I can’t believe I left you speechless!” Bruno laughed. “How’d the rest of my family react?”

 

Miguel looked sheepishly down toward the floor. 

 

“I actually don’t know…I ran right past them to get here.”

 

“Miguel! Even I know that’s rude!”

 

“I’m sorry! You were just so beautiful, and I just had to see you.”

 

Bruno walked up and gave Miguel a kiss on the forehead. 

 

“Can you go back and find them, please? Let them know I’m getting ready now, and that I’ll see them once everything’s over.”

 

“Got it,” Miguel went to leave the room, before turning around one last time. 

 

“You were simply mesmerizing, mi amor .”

 

Bruno blushed, waving him goodbye, then turned back to the mirror. 

 

“Good to know I still got it…,” he said to his reflection.

 

 

Bruno Madrigal in Marilyn Monroe's pink dress from the movie "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes", made in 1953. Drawn by piepelu on tumblr.

 

Notes:

If you want to see more from them, go follow piepelu at piepelu.tumblr.com!

See you guys tomorrow!