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My name is Lee-Yang Jeongin and I’m 8 years old. I go to North Haven Prep with my brother, Lee-Yang Hyunjin, who’s in sixth grade. I have one dad and one mum and just last week, Dad got me a new bike and told me to explore the world. So now, I’m on a mission to explore the world and find my mum with my new bike, which is called The Baking Project.
When I’m not on my bike and not working on The Baking Project, I’m at home where I play with my toys on the carpet that Mum got at Ikea because it’s one of the only things that still smell like her. I align my toys and make sure each of them gets a fair amount of love. Before going to school, Dad tells me to clean up my toys but I don’t because I’ll come back home and play with them anyway. Recently, the carpet started to swallow my toys and Mum’s scent. It doesn’t smell like her anymore and that’s what started today’s ruckus.
“But I don’t want to! I’ll come back home and play with them again, I promise!” I say while Dad is trying to pack me and Hyung's lunch.
“Yes, but I need to clean the house and it will be a great help if you cleaned up after yourself,” Dad replies and it’s true.
The truth is, I don’t like leaving my toys on the carpet either because some of them go missing and I’m sure the carpet swallowed it. But if I clean up then Dad’ll vacuum the carpet and it would never smell like Mum again. I don’t like that.
“C’mon, your Hyung will help you, right Hyunjin?”
“Ugh, as if. It’s his mess.” Hyung’s mouth is big and sharp, it wasn’t always like this. Dad says it’s because he’s going through puberty but I think he’s just mean. But he’s my brother so I love him only an atom’s amount.
Dad clicks his tongue and hands out our lunch. “Chris is coming today and I don’t want this house to be in a mess when he’s here so please?” Chris is Dad’s new boyfriend who he’s really trying hard to impress. Chris gives me sweets and chocolate so I kind of like him but I know Hyung doesn’t. But Dad likes him a lot so I clean up my toys because I don’t want Dad to get mad and I don’t want to fight early in the morning because it reminds me of Mum.
Chris is also Korean but he moved from Australia then to North Haven and he doesn’t like it when we call him with honorifics so I just call him Chris, just like Dad. Chris has a big tattoo on his forearm which says 040190 and Hyung thinks it’s the birthday of his REAL lover which is crazy to say because Dad is Chris’ real lover too with how they’re always attached at the hip or lip most of the time. Chris always wears long-sleeved shirts so sometimes I forget about it, but when he rolls his sleeves up and Hyunjin hyung is in the room, he gives me The Stink Eye. Dad doesn’t seem to mind so I don’t really care about it either.
A year ago, I woke up early because Dad said we were going to have pancakes for breakfast and I like Dad’s pancakes during Summer but when I was about to step downstairs, I heard Mum and Dad arguing about the “redhead from Cooking Schmooking” and the cupboards were being slammed while the mixer kept on running even it has been running for the past 14 minutes. Now, we never get the biscuits and cupcakes from Cooking Schmooking even if Dad’s in a good mood. It didn’t take long for them to be quiet because then I heard a loud CLANG! which I think was Dad’s mixing bowl. My mum’s biggest joke was when she came up to me after she saw me on the stairs, waiting. She kissed my hair (I remember this clearly because Mum’s perfume filled my nose) and said goodbye. Sometimes, she is funny. Sometimes I’m the only one who gets her jokes. It was 7:46 in the morning and she never came back.
The school gates close at 8 so I have to pick up the pace if I didn’t want to get detention. Hyung and I were supposed to walk together to school but, like any other day, he goes to his friend's house to get a ride and doesn’t allow me to come with so I walk alone. It’s okay because that means I can pull up my map of North Haven and plan out where I should explore next. After all, I know Hyung would laugh at me if I did this in front of him.
If I want to explore the world, I should start with North Haven. I’ve already explored Solar St. and Saint Know and I didn’t find Mum anywhere so they're crossed off my list. Well, I did see someone else but I don’t like to remember what I saw so I don’t think about it. Before dinner today, I want to explore The Groove and The Meadows but it’s a bit scary to go alone as they’re filled with the rich and snobby kids of North Haven Prep. So I invited my only friend, Seungmin, during lunch. Even though he’s in 4th grade, he’s very nice to me, and he doesn’t demand me to call him Hyung even if he’s older than me and is Korean, and he eats lunch with me under the big green tree near the 4th-grade classroom.
“I can’t,” Seungmin says. Oh, bummer.
“Why not?”
“My dad has a new girlfriend and she wants to introduce her kids to me because we’re similar in age so we’re going to dinner together.” Having one dad is what Seungmin and I usually bond over.
“Oh. Do you like her?”
“I don’t know. I’ve only heard them talk on the phone and I think she’s very nice to Dad but it’s only a matter of time until she steals his money.” Seungmin laughs but I know he’s hurt. The only difference between our dads is that Seungmin’s dad is very rich but hardly spends any time with him. Seungmin has a driver and babysitter that picks him up from school and goes to a very expensive football club to become the number one football player in the world (that’s what he claims). I think Dad is enough because he’s my Dad and I can see him trying his best since Mum. All of Seungmin’s step-mums turn out to be really evil which is a disadvantage of having a really rich dad. Two of them stole his dad’s money and there was even one who tried to steal his yacht.
I take a bite of my egg sandwich and say, “Chris has been coming over a lot more often and he showed me a picture of his son, Baby.” The picture was some kind of ID and he looked about five years old, so I still don't know what he looks like now.
Seungmin stops inhaling his strawberry yoghurt and asks: “His name’s Baby?”
“Well, I don’t know, but that’s what Chris and my dad call him.”
But it’s really a bummer that I don’t have someone to go to The Groove and The Meadows with. I don’t think Seungmin lives there either because he didn’t say anything when I mentioned them so my theory of only snobby and rich kids living there is valid. The only other person I can think of I can ask to go there with me is Hyung but this is a no Lee-Yang Hyunjin TOP SECRET! project so I won’t be inviting him. Usually, missions like this have a name unrelated so you can refer to it short-hand but still get the point across so now I’m calling it The Baking Project so no one knows except me (and Seungmin if I ever tell him the classified name).
As soon as I arrive home, I check the carpet and it still had a little bit of Mum in certain spots like the edges so I’m cool. Then I see Dad and Chris on the couch looking at me weirdly because I was sniffing the carpet so I quickly stood up and said hi.
Chris laughs and ruffles my hair, “Hello to you too, Jeongin.” He hands me two sweets from his pocket and I can feel my smile getting bigger than my face.
“Thank you, Chris.” He always does this when we meet but I still need to make up my mind if I actually like Chris or not.
“No problem. In return, will you go to dinner with us? I’ve asked Baby to come too so it’ll be a proper meeting between you two– ah, three, because your brother is coming, right?”
Dad smiles really big, like a code for me to say yes so I nod but, like, really small. “Call your brother downstairs if he’s ready for dinner, won’t you? I need to ask him why you’ve come home separately. ” Dad shoos me away to get changed and continues to cuddle and huddle Chris on the couch while I’m tasked with one of the worst things in life: asking Hyung a question.
Hyunjin hyung isn’t getting ready for dinner when I went to his room. Instead, he’s on his bed, calling his friends.
“Dad told you to come downstairs if you’re ready.” I pop my head in, it’s scary to enter his room because he’ll scream at you about everything. I don’t mention Dad finding it suspicious that we came home separately. Oh well.
Hyung rolls his eyes and hangs up on his friends. “If you think I’m going to sit at the same table as Chris , you’re insane. No way in hell am I going anywhere near that man.” He crosses his arms and slams his door on me.
“But why?” I open the door again.
I like going out with Chris. Once, he took me out to The Winter Fair because Dad was working late at Sunny’s and he told us to go without him. We invited Hyunjin hyung too but he refused to come so Chris and I went. He’s very good at games so he got me a lot of toys and plushies and even bought me a hotdog. That day, he told me about Baby. He said that Baby has become really distant since Dad and Chris got together. “Baby doesn’t usually give my new partners a chance really easily and it’s a shame because I think your dad’s really nice.” Chris has a note written ‘Chris loves Minho’ in his wallet which I think is really sweet and proof that Chris actually loves my dad.
“Because! You saw what I saw right? She was young, pretty, tall, and walked inside without ringing the doorbell! How is that not his wife?”
I think I might’ve shoved that memory too far back. When I got my bike, the first place I went to with Hyung was Solar St., and there, we saw Chris’ fancy car parked in one of the house’s driveways which was weird because Chris is rolling in money so should be living in a penthouse far from North Haven or in The Meadows with all those pretentious people. Hyung and I wanted to see if this was Chris’ actual house so we hid in the bushes and waited. Not three seconds later, a taxi came and dropped off a young lady wearing a long trench coat and big sunglasses and a big round hat. She didn’t ring the doorbell. She just waltzed in as if it were her own home. I told Hyung maybe this wasn’t Chris’ house in the first place but then we hear Chris from inside the house!
“Welcome home! How was work?” That was Chris.
“Nothing much, the usual. What are we having for dinner, Oppa?” That was when all hell broke loose.
“Maybe it’s his sister,” I say to Hyung.
“Maybe, it’s his awfully young girlfriend who he demands to call him oppa!” I can see all of Hyung’s brain cells explode, one by one. “I am not going to dinner.”
I change my clothes to something nicer and something that smells good so maybe I can impress Baby. A part of me doesn’t want to like Baby because what if he hogs Dad? Knowing the likes of kids with rich parents, most of them are very demanding. If you didn’t tell me Hyung was my brother, I would think he was the son of an untouchable chaebol because of his attitude. Baby seems untouchable in my mind. Maybe he’s like those kids who lives in The Groove whose parents spoil them over and over again for achieving nothing.
I come downstairs only to find Dad all up on Chris again. They look at me then put a 5ft distance between each other and Chris even mumbled a small ‘sorry’. Dad picks me up and fixes my hair which is a little messy (I left it like that so I could be carried by Dad, it’s an old trick he keeps falling for). “Where’s Hyunjin hyung?”
Dad puts me down and gives me a suspicious look. I don’t like this Dad Look because it’s unreasonable, like, why should you be suspicious of me, I’m eight. “He’s, uhm, sick.”
“Sick? Why didn’t he tell me, tsk.” Dad was going to go upstairs but I pull his hand.
“He said it’s just a headache from doing homework and he’ll be fine in a few hours but he’s gonna nap first.”
Dad sighs and goes to the kitchen, probably to get some medicine, then he goes upstairs to leave it at Hyung’s bedside table. Dad turns off his detective mode and looks genuinely happy. I like this Dad Look because it’s been a while since I’ve seen it.
“Hyunjin’s fine,” Dad says to Chris, mostly. “Just the four of us for dinner, is that okay?”
“It’s alright, Minho.” Then, we’re off to dinner.
My first dinner with Chris is this one so I didn’t really know what to expect. I was thinking maybe we would go to Burger’s Bugers, which is a diner just downtown, but no. Chris really overestimated ways to impress me because if he bought me a double cheese and patty burger at Burger’s Burger with a large soda then I would like him but he took us to some place named The Grand and it is grand . Gold and pearls cover the place, head to toe, which is really tacky. The tables are filled with men and women dressed in tuxedos or fancy dresses. I was in my overalls so it made me feel really out of place. Dad was dressed in something simple too but at least he’s a grown-up so he doesn’t look so out of place. Chris was wearing black pants and a white shirt which is like 50% of a tuxedo so it’s not fair.
I stand at the entrance playing with rocks while Dad and Chris talk to the waitress at the front and after waiting for 2 minutes, we were allowed inside.
“Baby and his sitter will catch up with us so don’t worry, you won’t be the only kid here,” Dad tells me as he holds my hand. Chris is holding my other hand which I think is really sweet because Chris could’ve chosen to hold hands with his boyfriend but he didn’t. Baby has a babysitter which is okay but Chris acts like he’s busy with work and hands him over to the babysitter when in reality he’s busy with my dad which is why I kind of can see why Baby doesn’t really want to like my dad. But I think Chris is a little bit in the wrong too.
While I was stuffing my face with the food served, Chris keeps on looking at his phone and Dad looked worried too. Usually, when someone is on their phone during dinner time, Dad gets all sulky or tempered about it because dinner time means bonding time.
“Ah,” Chris sighs and finally puts his phone away, “Baby can’t come. I’ve tried getting permission from his coach to let him leave practice early but he denied it. I’m really sorry, Jeongin.” He ruffles my hair as I eat some really delicious shrimp.
“It’s okay.” I smile at him. At least the food is good, if not, I would've really hated Baby for baiting me like that.
Then I go to school the next day where I ask Seungmin if he met his new step-sibling because I didn’t.
“No. I had football practice so I begged my dad to do that instead.”
“Oh.”
“He told me we were going to Burger’s Bugers but I know that’s a lie, he’ll end up taking me to some posh restaurant and make me feel really lonely because I don’t think that’s where a kid should be.”
Being the younger one in this situation, I never really want to ‘argue’ with Seungmin because I don’t want to seem mean like Hyunjin hyung, who always starts a fight out of nowhere. But I liked being in a posh restaurant with Dad and Chris. It was nice because that’s something I never experienced before. I can tell how a kid can feel a little bit left out because everyone seems so grown up. Seungmin is probably bored and used to all this posh stuff but to me, it’s very new.
“Well, do you think your step-siblings are nice?”
“They seem nice but sometimes I like having my dad all to myself.”
Now that I think of it, Dad’s brain capacity is probably 80% Chris and 15% Baby and 5% me and Hyung which is sad. I like Chris but sometimes I miss the afternoons when me and Dad would play on Mum’s carpet together before I took a nap. Now, Dad’s afternoons are filled with working at Sunny’s or having a date with Chris. Maybe that’s another reason why Hyunjin hyung doesn’t like Chris.
The next day comes and it’s a weekend. I like weekends because that means I don’t have to clean up my toys from the carpet, and Dad cooks waffles for me and Hyung which are always the crunchiest.
I wake up bright and early to smell the scent of waffles. I know Dad doesn’t make pancakes on weekends anymore because it’ll remind him of Mum. It was a Summer holiday weekend when she said goodbye. We were going to the pool after having breakfast but that one weekend, we didn’t go anywhere. We never go anywhere on weekends anymore. Maybe go to Sunny’s and eat Korean food but that’s it. Sometimes Chris comes over but I’ve had my time with Chris a few nights ago. I don’t know why Dad doesn’t get tired of seeing Chris nearly every day.
“Good morning, Kit.” That’s my favourite nickname because Mum gave it to me. After all, I have her fox eyes.
“Good morning, Dad.” I yawn. I only wake up for the waffles anyway. After gobbling them up, I’ll probably sleep again on the couch. I can’t let Hyunjin hyung take my waffles away from me.
“Is your brother awake? Or does he still have that headache?” I shrug, so Dad tells me to call him downstairs.
“Hyung!” I scream from the stairs. “Wake up!” He comes down the stairs all grumpy moments later.
Dad sits us down and gives us our portions but it’s weird because there’s this peculiar ‘I’m gonna lecture you’ aura he has.
“You know I love you, right?” Dad says. Here it goes. “I just– Now I feel like for you, this relationship I have with Chris is a bit too fast, maybe that’s the right word? I know after your mum and I sorted all the legal stuff out, I started dating Chris too which– I don’t know. For you might be a tad bit quick so I’m sorry I didn’t really think that one through fully before bringing him here. But now that it’s been a year, I wanted to ask for a favour from you: please give him a chance. If nothing is stopping you from bonding with him, please just–”
“I like Chris,” I say. It’s half of the truth. I don’t like that Chris takes my dad’s attention span away from me by 80%, and I don’t really like Chris’ son, Baby, and I don’t like that he makes Hyunjin hyung give me The Stinky Eye when he rolls his sleeves up, and I don’t like that if he comes over, it means I have to clean the carpet.
“Well, I don’t.” Hyung scoffs.
“Lee-Yang Hyunjin, you’re better than this. You have no reason to really dislike Chris that much and even if you do, you have to be nice to him. It’s basic respect.” I think Dad said this because Hyunjin hyung like to hate for no reason in this phase of his.
“But he’s just like Mum–”
“Don’t you dare say that.”
“But he is ! He’s a cheater, Dad!” Hyunjin hyung practically screams at Dad. Although I love Hyung an atom’s amount because he’s my brother, I hate him because he has a big fat mouth and his words are not always the nicest. I want to run up to Dad and tell him the waffles were delicious and he should probably go to sleep and that I’ll do the dishes for him but I just couldn’t move. I know Hyunjin hyung is gonna say more but I just sat there like a dummy. “If I say what I saw to you, Dad, you’ll just ignore it because you ignore every single sign there’s something up with Chris! A tattoo which he claims are meaningless numbers, and now a young lady entering his house without knocking– you’ll turn a blind eye to all of them! But I won’t. Of course, you will because I have a gold digger for a dad!”
I want the carpet to swallow me like how it does to half my toys to the point where they're still missing to this day. I can tell Hyunjin hyung regretted what he said because time stopped for a moment and his eyes and mouth were wide open. I wanted to tell Dad what Hyung said is completely untrue because I can see Dad loves Chris and Chris loves Dad too. Dad loves me and Hyunjin hyung because he makes us breakfast, lunch, and dinner despite being busy with his job at Sunny’s and Dad loves Chris because he makes his lunch for work if he stops by really early and makes him dinner too if he stays over. Dad loves me because when I’m sad, he hugs me a tells me that everything is okay (even though he doesn’t buy me a new toy like Seungmin’s dad) I can tell that he loves me. And when Chris comes to our house all scruffy from work, Dad hugs him and does a bit more. What surprised me is that Dad didn’t shout back, or tell Hyunjin hyung to be quiet or he’ll receive another noise complaint from our neighbours, he just dropped his head down and sighed, then pointed at the stairs and told us to stay in our rooms. I was walking towards the stairs and there I saw Chan standing at the doorway and Dad's head hung low. I don’t know if Hyung noticed too.
I spent the weekend on my bike or on the carpet and I can’t smell my mum there anymore. Maybe if I just researched what my mum’s perfume is, I can save myself some trouble but if I find my mum then I can ask her directly what her perfume is. I still haven’t gone to The Groove or The Meadows but I went to the East Port where I saw really colourful houses and a lot of fish but no Mum. Mum doesn’t really like the beach anyway. The Baking Project is on hold too.
When I came back home, the house is really quiet which is expected after what happened yesterday morning. I played with my toys for a bit and realized that some of the missing toys have finally come back! This is really good news because it means the carpet didn’t really swallow my toys or it means Dad found them somewhere. I went upstairs to tell Dad but I heard something weird coming from his room. I peeked through the door crack and I saw Dad crying on his bed. I’ve never seen Dad cry before. I remember my world shattered when I saw Dad’s red eyes after my Mum shut the door close for the last time. No tears left his eyes, back then, because I saw how hard he was trying to hold back his tears. When he found me on the stairs, he smiled and told me to go back to my room really calmly. Now, I saw his shoulders shaking and all. I heard his sniffles and his sobs and everything. I thought Dad having a new partner would make him all happy even if I’m a little bit upset Chris steals Dad’s attention away from me but it’s okay because he takes care of Dad most of the time, and Dad is usually happy with him. I saw Dad stand up and walked towards the door so I immediately ran to Hyunjin hyung’s room.
I think I did it more out of sadness than anger, I don’t know, but I felt like I wasn’t me when I walked into his room without knocking. I don’t really care. Then I slapped his phone out of his hand.
“What the fuck?” Hyung knows he shouldn’t swear but he does it anyway and it makes Dad upset which makes me upset.
“You stopped caring for Dad!” It’s a big claim, I know, but I didn’t know how else to say what I felt. “Why did you stop? Is it because Mum left? Do you absolutely hate Chris because he’ll replace Mum? You tell me to hate Chris but if I told you I’m trying to find Mum, you’ll fume. Which is it? Why do you hate it when Dad and I are trying to be happy? I like the past you better, the one who gives me the free candy from Burger’s Burgers, that Hyunjin hyung is way better. But now you’re so… so mean! Be grateful Dad doesn’t hate you because you clearly hate him!”
Hyunjin hyung stands up and (because he’s way taller than me) towers over me, “I never said I hated Dad!”
“But you act like it.” As soon as those words left my mouth, Hyunjin hyung raises his hand and pulls it back– he’s gonna hit me. I didn’t flinch and I think that changed his mind. Instead, he used his pointer finger to push me back away from him. “Listen here, brat. You’re only 7 and you don’t know jack shit about how I feel. Now get out of my fucking room!” He raised his voice and pushed me out of his room.
I don’t really like getting messy with tears so I try holding myself back but it was hopeless. I remember all the times Hyunjin hyung mentioned my age, mainly because that’s how I keep count. He said that I’m only 7 and even if I explore the whole globe, I will never find Mum. He said that I’m only 6 and I will never clean up my toys after I play with them and burden Dad with an extra chore to do. But before Mum left, he said that even if I was already 5 years old, I will always be Hyunjin hyung’s baby brother. He said that I’m only 4 and he’ll carry me everywhere in his arms.
I ran out of the house, it was easy. I pushed past Dad who was in the hallway and unlocked the front door all by myself. I quickly hop on my bike that was parked in the driveway before Dad could come out of the house and catch up to me. I didn’t even know where to go.
So I go to The Groove though the uphill road to go there was really tiring. The Baking Project is back on track, maybe. The houses were big, white, and spacious, and had luscious green lawns in front. It was very Chris. I never saw him as a replacement for my mum because she was always so simple and discrete with her style and looks, but I know Chris loves to show off a little bit though he’s mainly humble. Mum loved the quietness of the trees in Gimpo while I assume Chris visits The Grand often, which is a very crowded place. Mum’s clothes were always comfortable because every time I hugged her, all I could feel is her sweater hugging me back but Chris’ clothes are more professional because he usually still wears his suit and tie when arriving at our house. The point is, Chris was never meant to replace Mum because he couldn’t even if he tried, he’s just too different.
I go further into the neighbourhood and see a familiar face on the driveway– it was the redhead employee at Cooking Schmooking. I thought I would forget him after Dad stopped taking us there but he’s one of if not only redheads in North Haven. But if he’s here, that means–
“Mummy!” A small girl cried. Her red hair was in pigtails and she was wearing a bright yellow summer dress. She ran out of the car and into the arms of a woman wearing a matching pink dress and a huge sun hat. That woman is my mum. She called my mum mum.
My heart stopped beating right at that moment. I was convinced the world was falling apart. Why couldn’t my parents just be like the others? Why couldn’t they just love me like a normal parent? Why are my parents like this? I hated how I was more jealous than upset. I hated how my tears were because of jealousy rather than disappointment. I hated having to call her Mum when I thought about her because she was my mum and my mum only.
When I felt my heart pumping blood again, I sped through the street and went my way back home. I felt really disgusting because my snot and tears were running down my face and there was sweat on my forehead. I let my bike fall on the lawn and barged into my house where Dad was waiting for me in the living room. He was worried, and I didn’t like that. He should’ve been worrying about himself. He was going to be mad at me, but I think my tear-stained cheeks stopped him.
“Jeongin, what happened, hm?” Dad's voice was so soft. It was so different from the sobs and sniffs from earlier.
I ran up to him and buried my head in his shirt, why’d he smell like her? “I saw my mum but, I don’t think she’s my mum anymore, though.” It was very immature of me that I couldn’t speak properly without sobbing every two words and wiping my tears on his shirt but I couldn’t resist.
“Oh, little kit.” Dad hugged me back and wiped my tears with his thumb. I don’t like that name anymore because it was from her.
I skipped dinner, and Hyung did too, so I felt sorry Dad had to eat alone. At night, Dad came into my room to tuck me in. Dad turned off all the lights in my room (except for my nightlight, of course) then he sat on my bed to kiss me good night.
“Do you hate her?” I asked, I didn’t even need to say who because Dad knew.
“Her… no, I don’t think I can. She gave me the best present ever, you and your hyung.” Dad whispered.
“Then why don’t you visit her, she lives in The Groove, in one of those big white modern houses.”
“As much as I love her, we’re better apart.”
“But I don’t like seeing you and her separated.” I don’t know why I said this. I just wished things were different. I just wished she didn’t meet that guy from Cooking Schmooking as much as I love the cupcakes he bakes. I hated her now, but I wished I didn’t.
Dad stayed quiet for a moment as he patted my hair. “If you think about it, we are still together. You have my cheekbones and her eyes; we’re still together on you.” Hyunjin hyung has her nose and Dad’s eyes so that means their still together on him too.
“Do you hate me and Hyunjin hyung?” After the spying (which I found out is kinda illegal) I kind of didn’t wanna listen to Dad’s answer.
But Dad answered immediately. “Are you kidding? Never ever have I hated you or your hyung.”
“...I’m sorry Dad. I really am.”
“I know. Just don’t spy on people again because that’s rude and possibly illegal so you’re grounded, for only a month though.” Dad chuckled but I knew he was serious.
“I hope I don’t see less of Chris, I like the sweets he gives me and the places he takes me to.”
“Leave the adults to handle that, okay? Don’t think too much about it.” He ruffles my hair one last time before kissing me on the cheek. “Good night, buddy.” I like that name better than Kit.
Dad stood up and then walked to Hyunjin hyung’s room. I know Dad said no more spying but I just had to hear this one so I pressed my ear against the door when Dad closed it shut.
It was silent at first, just shuffles and mumbles here and there. And then: “I don’t want to replace Mum.” That was Hyunjin hyung. Dad replies with an I know . “But I also want you to find someone else that can make you as happy as she did.”
“Your mum gave you life and no one else can. Whoever I find will never replace her.” I just barely heard Dad speak.
“ I want us to be happy too. All three of us.” Dad doesn’t reply to this one, I don’t think. Then Hyunjin hyung said, “And I think Chris’ is crazy if he’s gonna break up with you over your even crazier children. That’s when I’m certain he’s not the one for you.” It’s like I can see Dad smile hearing that. Hyunjin hyung sniffed really loudly then sobbed, “I’m really sorry, Dad. For what I said and did and everything.” I hear shuffling so I guess they're hugging. I hear a small I love you but I don’t know who said it.
One month later and I think things are okay. Turns out, Chris’ sister was staying over at his during that week we spied on them so Dad and Chris got over it pretty quickly (Hyunjin hyung learned that I’m always right). Chris' tattoo was also just some random numbers he got while he was drunk during his uni years (which means he’s actually telling the truth, Hyunjin hyung was really embarrassed). Seungmin and I got closer because Seungmin like to bad-mouth his step-sibling even if he has never met them before ( “My dad gave him this toy I wanted, that piece of–” “–then he proceeds to go to hang out with both of them! I know my dad asked to come with but I was just too salty to say yes so I said no then he went anyway!” ). Hyunjin hyung likes Chris a lot more too because Chris gives him sweets too. Hyunjin hyung, me, and Chris went to The Winter Fair and got lots of presents and plushies, so I count that as an improvement. I talk to seungmin about Baby too. I tell him how he’s really stubborn and I feel that sometimes he isn’t grateful that he has a dad like Chris and all he does is hang out at football practice with his babysitter. Seungmin also invited me to his house once but Dad said no because we had dinner with Chris that day ( “You should come, Jeongin, it’s at Solar St.” “My dad said no ‘cause his boyfriend is coming over.” “Well my dad isn’t going to be at home so we can watch TV while eating dinner! Please, Jeongin!” ). I said no because I’m scared Dad and Hyunjin hyung would kick my butt for not being at dinner, now that Hyunjin hyung adores Chris.
But, I received last-minute news that we were eating dinner at The Grand, so I’m glad I said no. Dad said I’m responsible for Chris’ gift and then he gave me a red box with a pretty gold ribbon on it and a tag that said ‘From Minho, Hyunjin Jeongin’ , then we hopped in the car a drove to The Grand. In the car, the gift was all rattley but I could smell chocolates too so I’m not really sure what’s inside. Dad, surprisingly, wanted valet parking so we got kicked out of the car and a young man in a suit and tie drove our car to the parking lot while Dad talked to the young lady at the front.
The sight of The Grand will never sore my eyes. I like how it makes me feel like a young master. This time, I was dressed for the occasion with my bowtie and suspenders. Hyunjin hyung is a little overdressed with a cummerbund and everything but it’s okay, he’s a little extra here and there.
Chris was already sitting at the table but, as usual, Baby was nowhere to be seen. Then I realized, his gift! I tugged at Hyunjin hyung’s sleeve and told him the predicament. Usually, he doesn’t want to help me, saying that I should solve my problems myself, but this time, he offered to come with me to the parking lot. We told Daad that we were going to the bathroom because I didn’t really want to tell him the truth then we ran to that young man who parked our car. He gave us the keys to the car and told us where it was. We sped to the parking lot and saw Dad’s little car and retrieved the gift, unharmed! A few seconds later, a car pulls up next to us because it was empty and, wow, it looked really fancy (not really, I think it was just really really clean). Guess who came out of the car, not the Mayor of North Haven but, Seungmin and his babysitter.
“Jeongin? What are you doing here?” Seungmin’s babysitter was beside him, probably worried about how he was talking to a stranger but I’m not a stranger danger, I’m his friend.
“Uhm, dinner, like I said.”
“Oh, yeah. Guess it’s okay you said no.”
“Mhm, are you finally going to see your step-siblings?” We walked beside each other while going back inside and I can see Hyunjin hyung being a little bit awkward with Seungmin’s babysitter because his babysitter is that one really popular guy in sixth grade.
“Yeah, I ran out of excuses and my dad said I had to come or else no IPad for a month.” He shuffled. “It’s okay, at least I won’t be having dinner with Baby if he actually decides to come.”
I laugh but deep down I actually wanted to see Baby’s stubborn and spoiled face for once.
We were inside and Chris called out, “Baby Seungmin!” and that’s when I put two and two together. Baby is Seungmin, Seungmin is baby . Oh my God, I’ve been insulting Seungmin all this time.
“Dad!” Seungmin called back.
I felt really guilty. After all, if I knew Baby was Seungmin, I would’ve never said those things because I understand Seungmin.
Chris looked at us and said, “I see you’ve met little kit, here.”
Seungmin looked at me up and down and then widened his eyes. My hands were so sweaty, I could feel the wrapping paper stink on my fingers. “Kit?”
“Yeah.”
Dinner was awkward, the six of us. Apparently, Seungmin knew that his new step-brother was in my grade but he doesn’t know a Kit and I’ve never mentioned a Kit so he assumed we just never knew each other. While I didn’t know anyone named Baby or gets called Baby in North Haven Prep so I just thought could be anyone, anyone snobby. But I should’ve figured because I’m smarter than this. Chris lives in Solar St., Seungmin lives in Solar St., Chris is stupidly rich, and Seungmin is stupidly rich. The football practice excuses, the ditching– it made sense. Which is a bit sad too because I think Chris is the best and I know Seungmin’s thoughts on Chris. So I whispered it to Chris while no one was looking.
“I like that you’re like my other dad but maybe you can be like that to Baby– I mean, Seungmin, too. I think he misses you.” I whisper into his ear. “Here’s your gift!” I say as if that was my original plan.
“Oh! Thank you, Kit.” I don’t really like it when Dad said it because it just reminded me of her a bit too much but when Chris said it, it reminded me of Seungmin and him which is a lot nicer.
And what happened was there was one day when Chris didn’t come over. He was going somewhere with Seungmin, just the two of them. And there was even one day Seungmin didn’t go to school to go to work with Chris, ugh , rich people.
Seungmin and I figured that Dad and Chris are not very good at balancing things so we made a Google Calendar of all the times Dad and Chris can have a date night so it doesn’t intrude on all the times Seungmin wants to be with Chris and us wanting to be with Dad. We’re geniuses, actually.
Everything felt normal. Like on Monday, she walked out and on Tuesday, Chris is bringing flowers to Dad. I don't mind sharing my mum anymore, I have other people anyways so The Baking Project is cancelled forever. I also don't mind sharing my dad with Seungmin because he's not a hoarder or snobby or stubborn and he said that because Dad is a husband, not a wife, he's not evil like Chris' other ex-wives. Hyunjin hyung is a lot more like the Hyunjin hyung I like too. I realized that when she left, I got a bike and Dad got Chris but Hyunjin hyung was given nothing so I gave him a hug on the carpet when we finished cleaning up the toys. I should’ve probably asked him first because of the look he gave me but a few seconds later, he picked me up and gave me an even bigger hug.
“Hyunjin hyung, you’re like… like a prince, y’know?” Before Hyunjin hyung got a big fat mouth with the sharpest words on Earth, he was really gentle and nice and she used to call him Prince but no one calls him that anymore while I still get called Kit by Dad, Chris, and Seungmin.
Hyunjin hyung smiled and told me to get my bag because we were going to walk to school together. I know that's was his way of saying thank you.