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Li Ming and Heart kissed. It was chaste, almost like a feather-light touch. However, Heart could not express how ecstatic he felt when Li Ming's soft lips pressed into his, and how his heart thumped so hard he was scared it would jump off his chest.
He loved it... every second of it.
But much to his dismay, Li Ming acted like nothing happened the next day. He was calm, composed, as though they never shared such intimacy. Heart even doubted himself for a second. Did it really happen? Or was it simply a dream he had unconsciously thought was real?
He had always dreamed of kissing Li Ming after all. He was often distracted by Li Ming's lips, he was even scared that Li Ming would one day notice how he stared at his lips, fascinated by how it moved, how pink, and how soft it looks... or thinking how good it will feel against his own. He was terrified that Li Ming would find his thoughts disgusting, disturbing, or uncomfortable. That is why he tried his best not to make it too apparent, he struggled really hard to mask his greed, his want, and his desire to be as close as possible, and be in Li Ming's space.
Heart could not help the churning of his stomach, the pain clogging his throat as the realization hit him. Li Ming probably doesn't feel the same way he does and was only influenced by the romantic ambiance that enveloped them yesterday. His mind was flooded with questions possibly only Li Ming would be able to answer. It kept coming, one after another, Heart's mind was a mess.
A gentle tap on his shoulder snapped Heart back to reality. Right, they were sitting beside each other, watching a movie Li Ming had picked. He didn't realize how much he had zoned out that the end credits' already rolling.
"Heart, are you okay?" Li Ming signed, face expressing evident concern.
Heart could only nod, not knowing what and how to answer. As if he could say; Nah, he was not fine at all. That he was thinking about the kiss they had. How Li Ming was the one who initiated but now he's the one who's too affected. Or ask, was he not good? Were his lips rough? Did Li Ming not like kissing him? Did he regret it?
He can't. He doesn't have the face and courage to do so.
Suddenly, he felt Li Ming's cold hands on his cheeks, pressing lightly, followed by a thumb rubbing the corner of his lips. Once the act registered, Heart flinched and quickly shifted to his feet, leaving Li Ming's hand hanging in the air.
Heart fixed his eyes on his feet, afraid to look at Li Ming. His fingers gripped the fabric of his shirt, crumpling the material.
Li Ming stood as well, he reached for Heart's chin and urged him to look. The boy then retrieved his hand to sign, "Heart, why? Is this about yesterday? Are you uncomfortable in any way?"
"So you do remember," Heart was unable to control his hand from snapping, signing a little too aggressively.
He watched as Li Ming's brows knit, eyes looking at him in confusion, "Of course, why would I forget?"
"You're acting so normal, I thought you did not like it. That you regret kissing me—" Heart had to stop signing and wrap his hands around Li Ming's waist instead as the boy suddenly tiptoed to kiss him.
This time it was longer, deeper, clumsier, full of fervor. Heart could only close his eyes and savor the moment.
Li Ming felt Heart's need to breathe and promptly ended the kiss, biting his lips as if to control himself. He looked at Heart, made sure their eyes met, that they were on the same page. Li Ming swore he almost pulled Heart for another kiss the moment his eyes laid on his lips; red, plump, stained in his and Heart's saliva. Heart had no idea, he doesn't know how much grip and influence he had on Li Ming.
"Fuck," Li Ming cusses silently and signs, "Heart, don't say that. I loved it, I dreamed of it for so long. You have no idea what that kiss made me do or what mistakes I committed the moment I got home yesterday."
Heart tilted his head, a gesture he does when perplexed. "What do you mean?"
Li Ming's cheeks burned in embarrassment, "I would not want you to engage in an act you're not prepared for just because I like it. It would be best for you not to know, at least for now. Not now, Heart. Let's just... take this slow."