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A simple narrative. Two ghosts, two gay ghosts, two gay ghosts who happen to be in the same apartment, at the same time, haunting one person.
Surely this was convenient, right?
If you asked Anna about the memory, she would think it was funny that neither of them knew that each other was also an apparition. They just kinda sat there... awkward glances at each other.
"Jo, you didn't tell me there's guests.."
Jill looked at her quizzically, "Were you snooping on my phone again? Alma said she wasn't coming today."
The brown haired girl looked at Anna, a shocked expression on her face.
"Oh my God you can see ghosts..."
Anna, less surprised, shot her a grimace.
"This is my territory, get out of here bitch..."
"What the fuck did I do to you today Anna-"
Jill threw a pillow at Anna's face. It was when the pillow hit the wall behind them that Lenore Kurow started screaming.
-
Anna and Lenore soon became acquainted, Anna then recognized her from the pictures Jo had in her frame. Although this Lenore seemed to be different, she's more tired, the light in her eyes wavered. Putting them side by side would be sad.
Lenore didn't do much, nor made a big fuss about being in the same room as her very alive and unaware ex. Anna would question why she doesn't just opt to talk to each other, offering to bridge the gap between them. Lenore wouldn't answer, but it was obvious she wasn't thrilled by the idea.
But she did care,
If she didn't, why would she follow Jill's every step?
If she didn't, why would she sneak in under her blanket late at night?
If she didn't care why would she continue to converse with Jill asleep.
Whispering stories of their past lives, Anna would chuckle from time to time.
"I suppose it's good that one person can at least hear my ramblings.."
On the longer days where Jill was alone, Lenore made sure she was sitting right besides her. Anna would often question how Lenore felt through all of this, but the woman had a habit of running things around and never reaching a conclusion.
The world stopped for Lenore, and even if Jill seemed to move on, her feelings would remain undefeated by the tests of time. Now if only Jill focused her sight on her alone.
Though most partners find peace with letting their significant others go, Lenore felt like the most selfish lover dead hoping that by some miracle, Dana would just fall down the stairs.
Anna would often humor her, as she always does.
"It'll be funny if you haunted her bucket of wings!" She would say, jumping into the said food and disappearing.
Lenore would grow nervous, was Anna serious? When will she do it? How would she eve-
"BOO!"
"FUCKING HELL ANNA?"
Lenore covered her ears, startled by the noise. Anna on the hand was wheezing ,gripping the other's shoulder.
"Geez, you can't be a ghost and get scared by one! Totally a skill issue!"
While the girl beside her was a mischievous nut, she was still kind and basically the only person she can talk to... so really-what were her standards?
"That's really just cheating.. you'll feel my wrath soon enough."
Lenore tolerated her that much, maybe that was a word too outdated. Lenore simply learned to compete with her. Showing such vigor, you'd even think they're both equally nutty.
If Anna was a question, Lenore was the answer. If Anna decides to try and pull the rug from Lenore's feet, you best believe she's in for a tiresome workout.
Anna was also the only person who could give her the warmth she needed.
On the much, longer days where Jill's apartment is empty, and only their numerous conversations echoed against the walls-
It was her arm that slung over her. It was her warmth that washed over her own ghostly presence.
And of course it was all platonic, how on Earth could she ever think otherwise..
—
"Are you a romantic, Anna?"
"Maybe..."
"Have you ever had an ex, Anna?"
"Maybe..."
"Come on Anna, take me seriously!"
She offered Lenore a teasing smile, the other already regretting it.
"My, my, so curious, are you really that bored that you resort to slumber party questions?"
Kurow rolls her eyes.
"This whole ordeal feels like a slumber party, I'm stuck in this space, there's nothing but a kotatsu here, and all we do is gossip.."
"We could start braiding each other's hair, if you want a real authentic experience.."
Lenore felt quiet, the other catching on. For a moment she's back at home. With Gaby, with Jill.
Alive
Anna shuffled, leaning on the wall where she sat. Her new friend worried her, she wanted to pull her back.
"Okay. Her name was Lanette, if I had lived longer after she did I would have kept her name.."
Lenore looked up, the face that greeted her was reminiscing.
"I'm sorry for your loss.."
"Don't be, we're all lost." she chuckled, a sigh unmasked through it.
"She sounds great."
"She's the best, no doubt about it!"
"Must be really if you want to carry her name!"
Anna smiles, memories flooding back. Her girlfriend deserved to be loved by everyone.
"Would I work as a Lanette?"
"You would, but I like Anna better, can't explain it."
Anna hummed, moving close to drop her head against Lenore's shoulder.
"I miss her. I wish she'd haunt me too."
–
Jill had gone back from work, she had a smile on her face. Lenore knew why, and for a while she mirrored a smile of her own. She was happy, but she was also out of place.
There was no doubt in her mind that Jill would come back to her, ghost or not their bond was too strong and if it meant rejecting her boss' courting Lenore knew Jill would do it.
Then what would be left of her life? What if Anna disappears? What if they fight again?
Lenore loved Jill, and for a while she was alright being selfish. Bargaining on how she could make what's left of their life work. But everything was stacked against them, she would never give Jill the warmth they used to share. Everything will just lead to her beloved settling.
-
"How do you stay so, okay?"
Anna shrugged.
"Dunno, I guess I cope well."
She had to cope well, or else what would be left on the little hope they had left?
"If you teach me, do you think I'll find peace in letting Jill go?"
"Moving on takes time, you've been apart for years it's not unnatural to grieve."
Lenore had curled up, heart heavy. Anna soon joined her on the floor, holding her stuttering frame.
With tears in her eyes, Lenore could barely make out any words.
She admits she was wrong, she admits she harmed Jill, but fuck she loved her so much.
She was wrong, she should've listened, she should've been better, why couldn't she be better?
"I'm sorry Jill-"
Lenore stuttered between sobs,
"I'm sorry Gaby.."
"Let it all out.."
They felt comfortable in Anna's embrace, held secure as Lenore washed the apartment over with the sounds of crying and loud breathing.
–
The days where Anna would be attached to her increased, they weren't going anywhere and somewhere in their hearts they knew- they needed each other's warmth. Jill would be gone for a week, Anna could go after her but who would be alone with Lenore?
They were sitting outside the balcony, Lenore leaning against Anna's torso. The stress of coming to terms with mortality was hard, laying in that hospital bed you had no choice but to find the courage in facing the last stages of life. What more coming to terms with immortality?
The stress, the adrenaline, Lenore should be happy she's not reduced to nothing.
But she isn't.
"I want to be happy too..."
Anna hums, running her hand through brown locks.
"I think I'm ready to move on."
Lenore faced Anna, hand over her cheek.
"You ground me, if I'm stuck here I want to be loved and give love.."
She was nothing short of desperate, but she knew there was sincerity in her voice.
But Anna, she doesn't seem too happy.
Taking Lenore's hand away from her cheek.
"You know this doesn't feel right, we can't. You love Jill, I love Lanette, I can't date you behind Jill's back."
"We can't make it work."
Of course, this was all platonic, how on Earth could she feel otherwise?
–
The sky was never empty, the car window framing every scenery as the works of art it was always meant to be. Lenore would be on Jill's lap, their friends on the front rows of the car as they tune out everyone. Hands would run through brown locks, as the sunlight treated them nicely. Lenore would whisper to Jill, sometimes she wouldn't respond, and sometimes she'd hear Lenore's self rambles and find it interesting enough to surprise her. They were safe in each other's arms, and suddenly the road trip feels like heaven.
As Jill slept, Lenore kept the habit of talking to her. Maybe if she says something funny again, Jill would be able to hear her.
Eventually Lenore took Anna up on her offer.
Jill, as ecstatic as she was at the end , was as doubtful at the start.
They caught up, like nothing changed.
"I love you."
"I still love you too."
Lenore was relieved, but knew she still had to properly tie things up.
Without Anna this time, she moved to hug Jill from behind. And for a moment she could hear her voice echo, Jill shaking as she's hearing her lover's voice for the first time in the years they were apart.
She whispered something in Jill's ear.
"Goodluck"
Jill responded, and just like that Lenore was gone.
Anna looked at the only companion she had left, she was shaken and hardly keeping herself together.
She held her like she'd held Lenore. And from behind Jill's shoulder she gazed at the open window.
One ghost, one gay ghost, one gay ghost left to haunt Jill Stingray.
Goodbye Kurow-
Now...what would it be like if she let herself be a little bit more honest..