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Chapter Text

Three days…

Violet!!! I scream as she slips from Andrarna back into my arms. The golden dragon collapses just as my hand covers the gaping wound at violet's side. For a split second I want to help the hatchling knowing that Violet would be beyond broken if something happened to her but Sgaeyl quickly assures me she’s fine. I look to the blood flowing from violets side despite my efforts to put pressure on the wound.

“Fuck… it must be poison you have to fight it.” I scream losing my since as my reason for living hangs in the balance between life and death. Everything I know about poisons eddies out of my head in my panic.
“ I’ll take care of you... Just… just live.” I beg her, the gods, the stars… just anyone… who can or will listen to pleas of a man who caused all this pain with my half truths and unwillingness to trust.
People are talking around me but I can’t process anything and scream at them.
“Her blood is fucking black.” I know I sound like a madman. But I’m beyond caring. I can't lose her.
“It has to be poison, look at it, we have to get her back to basgiath… Nolan might be able to help.” Imogen cries in a voice I’ve never thought I would hear from the tough as nails woman and she turns away utter helplessness written on her features into Garricks chest as his arm curls around her. I try to push logic and training to the forefront of my mind.
“That’s a 12 hour flight.” Is my first rational thought before a flood of absolute impossibly floods my core.
“And I’m pretty sure her arm isbroken “ I say to the crowd like a broken bone is the biggest issue she faces I’m clearly not capable of adequate leadership if my emotions are this rattled that I’m a babbling idiot. Think Xaden … you know the answer .
“There is somewhere closer.” I say in a mix of defeat and resolve . I told this woman if she lived I’d tell her my secrets, one of them might be the key to her survival but from the horrified expressions around me no one trusts that this is the right call.
“You’ll put everything at risk” Garrick reminds me his tone is both warning and a peeling bell inside my head. If there is a chance she still thinks I’m a trader , can I put the woman I love life over the 107 lives on my back…. I skim my hand over he cheek and her eyes flutter. She still responds to my touch as if it’s as natural as breathing. Tairn bellows for everyone to hear and his essence in my mind is clear that I’ve fucked up enough by not trusting her and now isn’t the time to fuck up again.
“I don’t give a fuck what happens to me.” I yell at imogen as I catch only part of what she said about our bond. As her and Garrick side with caution… they all decided to fly with me, they all knew … fuck it.
“We are going and that’s and order.” I scream at the utter helplessness I feel having to order them to save the woman I love. Can’t they see it’s the only option I almost fall into my own well of despair Bodhi interjects.
“No need for orders, man well save her .” I don’t think enough people give him credit for his ability to read people's emotions and know what to say, they get lost in his jokes and somehow lose his deep emotional intelligence. I feel his hand on my shoulder as he starts barking orders. Garrick should have been the next in command but I can’t thank Bodhi enough for taking change in that movement. Seconds later Garrick realized his error and stepped away to help Bodhi manage our next step. I turn to Violet. I bring my face to her and almost kiss her before my heart clenches at how she may not want that. So I settle for whispering in her ear.

“Live up to your nickname and fight this violence. “ I say I take back my command and order us to fly. I pick her up and start to carry her to Sgaeyl when a wing snaps in front of my path.
“Get on wingleader.” Tarin snaps at me. I glance at Sgaeyl who nods. I lasso a length of shadow around his pummel and I’m barely secure before he blasts off so fast my guts twist.
“Sgaeyl will lead the riot and hold on with all you got.” His anger coats his tone, but inside the bond he’s filled with fear.
Tarin is faster than I could have ever imagined and sooner than I thought possible were flying over the cliffs of Dralor, the mix of emotions threatened to overwhelm me. I dreamed of the day I could fly over these cliff on the way home with Violet… taking her to her brother… to my home…but in my arms dieing and out of option having so much distance between us feel like I’ve been stabbed in the gut.

“You have to fight vi, I whisper to her, placing a kiss without thinking to her forehead that blazes with fever. Anything to take my eyes off the tower of Armri, once my favorite reminder of home… but the grief of losing Liam and soleil , the guilt of hiding the truth from Violet, that tower is a shining beacon of my failures.
“You can hate me all you want when you wake up,you can scream hit throw your daggers at me for all I care but you have to live. You can’t make me fall for you and then die, none of this is worth it without you.” I tell her . I know I’m a coward to say those words now, even now not telling her the full truth that I love her… a coward to tell her only because I’m so scared she won’t wake up that we’re too late…but Tarin roars in my head and his anger is hot and searing as he blasts forward at a dizzying speed using the last reserves of his strength.
“She lives.” He fires off at me. No room for argument in his tone. As he crashes through the fortress battlements dropping over the walls into the courtyard way too close for him to make a full landing I realize almost a second too late as I jump from his back with Violet in my arms and swing us down on my shadows . My jump is sloppy and my control even worse. My knees crack hard on the stone and I struggle to stand when a very worried voice hits me from the doorway now open and rushing my way.
“Xaden” Brennen shouts before the shadows clear and he sees Violet in my arms before he can say anything I beg.

“You have to save her.” I’ve never begged for anything in my life, not even as I watch my father kneel for his own beheading, but I’m on my knees begging Brennen to save her, his own sister he would die for, but I beg all the same.

It hits him how serious this as he places a hand on her fevered head and swares
“Poison…” I say at the last of my breath escapes my lungs and twists enough he can see black blood coating both of us. He reached his arms around her to take her from my arms but I can’t let go… letting go feels like a goodbye…

Bodhi and Garrick scround me out of nowhere both wrapping me in arms enough to allow Brennen to pull her away from me and lay her down on the cold stone as he commands a small army of trusted friends that call the fortress home.. The last of my strength gives out and falls into someone warm. My mind Is still alert but my body has betrayed me and it’s gone limp on the stone just inches from Violet, a flash of pink and as if by magic violet's hand finds its way into mine. I Hold her hands to my lips as Brennen works. I can feel his magic pricking along my fingertips but everything falls away except her hand in mine.

Finally the tangle of bodies holding me begins to loosen and Brennen drops to his knees in front of me but I want to scream at him to mend her she’s still just laying there why is he giving up her hand is still warm I want to scream. He turns my head to look at him.

“I’m not done but if I push too much magic into her I can cause more harm to the good, she needs time to let the magic work though her wounds and eradicate the poison from her system . Do you understand… “ he asked somewhat harshly of me and I let go of my anger I was holding and nodded.

“I’m going to get her cleaned up and moved into a room, you should do the same. “ he says and waits for me to respond.

“My room, I’ll do it.” I say and push onto my knees to stand and he looks me in the eye. Questioning. But he clearly saw the answer in eyes.

“I’ll bring a nightgown up to your room .” He said grinding his teeth slightly. He can take me to the mat and beat me to a pulp when she wakes up for loving his sister, and fucking up and almost getting her killed, and breaking her fucking heart… hell he can beat me to a pulp then mend me and do it again till he’s happy and I won’t stop him as long as she lives. He helps me to my feet and we both Lift her into my arms. I carry her up the stairs and into my room.

I sat her down on the bed and went into the adjoining bathroom and started to fill the tub with hot water before I realized that there is no way in hell I’m going to be able to get her in and out of that. I grab a few hand towels and throw them into the half filled tub. I return to the bedroom and pull her back into my arms and bring her into the bathroom I sit on the floor by the tub and lay her onto my chest her vest is already mostly off having been partially removed for brennen to mend here but I take it all the way off as well as her underthings and the rest of her leathers. I grab the first towel from the tub and clean off all the grim from her body as best I can. When I’ve done all I can do I carry her back into my bedroom and there is a soft nightgown and robe layed on the bed. I don’t know who Brennen borrowed it from but it’s clean and soft so I don’t care. It takes a surprisingly long time before I’m able to twist her body into the garment taking care to not jostle her arm or side. I pulled up pillows and laid her down and pulled up the fluffy blanket around her. My body is screaming curl around her with everything in me but I fight the urge just as forcefully. I plop my ass heavily into the chair I dragged over to the bed just as Brennen walks in with a tray half full of vial and a warm half loaf of fresh bread, he sets the vials down and forces the loaf into my hands.

“I’m not wasting energy on healing you from passing out from starving yourself just because she’s hurt now, eat that or I will kick you out of this room until you do.” He talks to me like I’m a child he can boss around and everything in my shadows wants to revolt but I shove a handful of the warm soft bread into my mouth. It taste like sand, and feels like swallowing glass as I choke down a few bites as he works a few of his potions around her wound and into her mouth.

“You need to clean yourself, I don’t know what she was poisoned with it’s not one I have ever encounter before and there’s enough of her blood on you and the way it turned black I don’t want to risk more exposure .” I nod and strip my shirt off moving to the bathroom.

“Burn it, everything her blood touched except her vest… Mira made her vest with dragon scale armor and it kept her safe all year.” I say and disappear for a few minutes to clean myself up. I don’t take a full shower, just strip and remove all the blood from my hands in the sink. I change into a set of soft pants and shirt that’s clearly brennens as he’s the only one close enough to my size to donate an outfit . I have no idea where my pack is , I’m sure Bodhi or Garrick have it somewhere . When I’ve deemed myself clean enough I drop back into the chair at her bedside, Brennen turns and clearly wants to say something but whatever he sees on my face changes his mind and he settles for squeezing my shoulder as he leaves .

I count the seconds between her breaths for hours as the stars trail across the sky. Brennen comes and goes a few times tries to tell me to sleep that he will keep watch to let me sleep. He eventually give up after throwing a blanket on the chair next to me and putting an extra pillow on the floor beside me.

It’s late, but dawn is still hours off… I can feel my shadows finding everyone in the castle either asleep or on watches confirming it’s safe here.

“Violet…I don’t know if you can hear me but please … I love you… I need you to make it.” I try the words in that space between our minds before saying the words out loud in the softest of whispers I doubt my own shadows would have picked it up… then I say it again louder and grow louder with it till eventually I must have awoken brenne who must be sleeping in the hallway . He comes in, doesn't say a word, just reaches for me and gives me a tight squeeze. My body revolts at his touch and I shove him off my violently.

“Xaden…” he tries to speak but I can tell he’s cautious. He's never seen me on edge like this.

“This …all of this isn’t worth anything if she dies because of my fucking stupidity “ I curse at him and he straightens his spine he knows my temper well this he can deal with I almost see the switch flip in his head.

“You can’t blame yourself for everything Xaden, not everything is within your control even with your shadows… shit happens, things don’t go as planned… people we love die, but Xaden this war… it’s bigger than you, than even her though it pains me to say that… this war …this burden carved in your back is for the generations to come that deserve peace.” He seething and shouting at me and I realized that Violet doesn’t need this … she needs calm not me and her brother verbally sparring… I crumbled and went deathly silent. Brennen is stunned he’s never seen me lose any fight… he thinks for a bit and tries a different approach.

“You also can’t keep bottling up everything, you're not a one man army. You need to grieve.” But even though I’m sure he had more to say he didn’t finish he wisely knew nothing he said was going to get through to me and sat down on the edge of the bed with Violet trying to think of a new way to reach me and after an hour or so of silence he gave up and went back to bed.

Most of the next day passes in a blur that I don’t remember much. It’s nightfall when Bodhi and Garrick come inside both keeping a healthy distance from the madman who has replaced their best friend and cousin.

“Xaden, everything ready for dawn for Liam. I know you didn’t feel up to helping with soleil, but … Liam would want you there. He would want you to light the torch.” Bodhi says softly daring to come and sit on the armrest of the chair.

“I got him killed, I'm the last person he would want at that pyre.” I say between clenched teeth.
“Liam loved you, he wanted to be a rider regardless of the bargain you made. Nothing you did or didn’t do led to his death. If you need someone to blame, put your blame in malgreen.” Garrick pleads with me. But all I can see is red, the blood on deigh as she died and took Liam’s life with her. He saved us all and figured out how to defeat the wyvren. My shadows start to swirl and fill the floor.
“Xaden I know you're worried about Violet, but you will hate yourself if your not there for Liam …” I’m not sure what else he had in that retort because it was lost as he narrowly avoided the fist i threw at his face not even knowing how I got up from the chair I was sitting in. My fist missed his face but found a strong palm to hold it steady.

“Out both of you.” Brennen bellowed at Bodhi and Garrick who obeyed but looked cautiously over their shoulders.

“ you want to fight, fight me, not them. They are your best friend and they care too much about you. So if you need to hit someone, hit me… I can take it. Hit me Xaden… hit me!” He roared. I tried to pull my fist back but my arm shook. I couldn't hit him. He was keeping Violet alive…. I screamed at him instead in a roar of agony as I hit the floor on my knees. Brennen threw his arm around me absolutely unafraid of my anger. But something cracked inside me when his arms wrapped around me, all the fight in me died out and I laid my head into his chest like a child and cried… I don’t know if I remembered the last time I cried . I stood there as a 16 year old on the cusp of becoming a man and watched my father who I loved more than anything head roll on the floor in front me without a tear, I made I through every gurgling Torture basgiath had to offer watched death after death an never let it effect me. I didn’t know I could feel this much pain .. brennen soothed his arm down my back like I’m a 6 year old little boy with a skinned knee running to his mother … but there is no judgment I feel from him and I can’t stop the dam that burst through me. It’s not just Liam , or Violet or my dad it’s everything… it’s every grief I’ve locked inside me all pouring out at once.

It’s well past dawn when I finally scrape myself off the floor and out of brennen arms. His shirt is a soaked crumpled mess and embarrassment starts to flood my cheeks as he simply dusts himself off and checks on Violet . He gave me space to process what happened and I finally look at him and try to find the right words but they don’t come he just levels me with a gaze.

“I’ve known that was coming since the day we lost Fen. No one… not even you goes through what you have been through and doesn’t feel, doesn’t grieve… your human Xaden. And human hearts , they break. “ he says with such soft understanding. It’s easy to forget all he’s lost in his warm smiles and jovial banter, easy to see the brilliant warrior and not the pain at making choices with people's lives.

“Brennen…”

“Don’t…Xaden… do me a favor… tell her everything, no half truths, no omitted details… you owe it to her yes… but you owe it to yourself more. “ he says and slips out the door.

A time later Bodhi and Garrick stop in to check on me no doubt. They wouldn’t accept my apology, but did have me the dragon Liam finished carving.

“He would have given it to Violet, so therefore it’s not really his, it’s hers. “ Bodhi says as they exit and I hold it and think back to the one I have on my desk of Sgaeyl, I think I need to get it out of basgiath as soon as possible and get it somewhere safe , it’s the first clear thought I’ve had in days.

The hours pass, I keep fighting sleep with everything I have as I don’t want to relive the nightmare of my choices. It’s sunrise and it’s been three days since Violet has opened her eyes.

“She’ll be alright .” Sgaeyl says to me.

Chapter Text

Told you I knew better poison masters,” I tell her softly. “You weren’t healed. You were mended.” “Brennan?” She stares at her brother in open-mouthed shock. Brennan just grins and opens his arms. “Welcome to the revolution, Violet.”

Violet let out a disbelieving whimper, she takes one step ducking under my outstretched arm before she starts to collapse. I twist and my hands naturally warp around her hips supporting her weight. Remarkably she doesn’t flinch from my touch but her entire being is consumed with the ghost that’s not really a ghost in front of her. Within too few seconds she’s whisked from my supportive grip and into her brother's arms.

My heart clenched in my chest. Seeing her in the arms of another man that pinched feeling would with any other male be jealousy, but this feeling isn’t that …is love, seeing her love for her brother. He hugs her with a bruising force which is so unlike the gentle mending he’s done for the past three days. He’s eye to eye with me in height which is unusual as I’m tall but his forehead is buried in her shoulder bending him to her.

As much as I’m thrilled to finally give her the gift of her brother again I know how much lying in her eyes has cost me. I resolved to give them some time and start to leave my own damn bedroom for the second time today .

“Xaden” I hear inside my head and I can feel my heart rocket inside my chest at that connection. The softness in her voice.

“Thank you.” She says as I shut the door behind me .

Bohdi is leaning on the wall. “I want to enjoy watching you grovel at her feet but maybe I won’t get to after that look she just gave you .” He says. I meet his eyes and his grin unfurls over his whole face as he throws an arm over my sagging shoulders. “Man your skinny now …let’s get some food in you.” He chided I haven’t been able to eat sitting in that room with her … Brennen of course still forced me to eat some so I’m not skinny . I want to shove him jokingly but I’m still to raw and his smile might be bright but I know bodhi he knows I’m not ok, but he’s going to uses everything in his Arsenal to fix it and right now his best weaponry is his evervessant sprint that he rarely gets to wield in the wings.

….…………………….

“Just because you're all right doesn’t mean I’m not going to take that boyfriend of yours to the mat over this…” Brennan's soft chuckle shakes down over me. Sending a snow melt torrent of tears, hearing him laugh, feeling it on my skin, smelling him, and hearing him being so my brother at once is overwhelming. Somehow i find my own wit
“I think he’d let you take him” I said feeling the guilt off him even with the door closed between us… almost overwhelming me. This feels like this has to be some poison induced hallucination. As if he can read my thoughts.
“It’s real pansy” he said, shaking every restraint on my emotions free… he’s the only one who ever called me that, his taunting nickname for me used to infuriate me to no end but now I don’t care if he ever calls me anything but Pansy. He’s real. He’s alive.

He pushes me away softly but with such affection I don’t balk at the loss of contact. There are tears on his face too. Instinctively he holds his hands to my face and floats his thumb to dry my tears and my stomach, even empty doesn’t stop the retching that flows through my body at the utter betrayal I feel with his fingers on my face. Brennen isn’t Dain but the wounds are still raw enough and my emotions still irrational that I can’t process the difference.

“Shit….Xaden explained what happened with Dain… I’m sorry violet.” He keeps his hands still letting me calm myself. Before he glides both of us bad to the bed.

“ Can I check your wound, menders habits I’m afraid.” He smiles and his smile is dads. Making my heart flutter in a mix of love and heartache I can’t speak only nod. He checks it and when he’s finished I speak.

“Tell me everything.” I said to him,

We talk for hours uninterrupted save for bodhi or Garrick bringing in food and drinks.

He tells how his Dragon was rare, she had a twin. Twin dragons are rare enough, but typical are fraternal twins resulting in one male and one female. His dragon was an identical twin, something I didn’t know had ever existed. His dragon was mighty and strong and led him to being one of the best riders in a century other than mom and it was clear he was destined to surpass her, even with his healing gift and not her destructive one. His dragons Twin. Lithee he explained was born with a deformed wing and had never agreed to bonding because of it. She couldn’t fly like the rest, but when brennas bonded dragon was killed the bond between the twins was able to save Brennan's life.

“I was so far down in that revine no rider could get close enough for me to signal, I was also injured in the fall as my dragon died. My one winged dragon flue from the vale and found me a few days later nearly catatonic from grief, not understanding how I lived and the infection coursing in my veins. She got me out the ravine and into a protected glenn. Xaden found me and took me to the fortress just days before his father was executed. The rest of the story belongs to Xaden, he said. “ I know you are angry and hurt but you need to hear his side of the story. He may have withheld information, for reasons only he can explain and likely can’t justify even to himself in the light of what happened … what could have happened… he loves you…Likely more than he loves himself right now based on the guilt he feels and that’s no small thing for him. “ he kissed my forehead as my eyes fluttered between sleep and awake.

“I wish dad knew…” I said out loud though I only meant to say in my head.

“He did, I got word to him.” He said sitting back down…

“I wanted to come back home, I knew the truth behind the rebellion. I thought I would be able to convince mom, and the other general to see the truth. But it changed when Xaden offered the bargain he did. Tyrrish is full of old magic, some of still runs deep in its people, it’s it’s royal family. Tyrrish was never meant to be at the heal of a foreign king, but magic was weaking, and the threats growing… the older generation Saught a kinship between the kingdoms, but it twisted with time the rules changed and it became harder to untangle the knots.”
He said.

“ it only takes one generation for things to be forgotten.” I whispered.

“Dad taught you well.” He chuckled.

“Why didn’t you come home, if dad knew your alive he might have even pushed mom off her dragon and rode here himself.” I looked deep into his eye, eyes that match my own.

“He would have if I didn’t ask him not to… did you not know what he was working on in the time since I left?” He said it felt like a change of subject but that wasn’t how Brennen communicated.

“He became more and more secretive after your death… you left… by the end he was reclusive and even erriatic.” I exhale and aching breath.

“I didn’t know that… “ he looks hurt for me who watched dad suffer for him… “I couldn’t go back… I can guess by how utterly unglued Xaden was when he landed on riding Tairn almost inside the great hall and shall we say “overprotective” ness during your mending that’s there is more to you two than just the bond of your dragons…”

I cut him off… “Xaden rode here on Tairn?” I Almost of shouted.

“The simple answer is he’s faster… and Xaden can be pretty damn convincing when he needs to be.” He chuckled and went on with his original point.

“I assume you know about the marks on his back , the bargain he made for 107 children of the rebellion to save them.” He asked.

“Yes….” I said looking at him with deep questions.

“ do you know who was behind the blade… who inflicted every single one of them?” He asked. And my look told him all he needed for answer.

“Lilith ….violet… the bargain may be with. Malgren, but it’s your mother who stabbed a defenseless child 107 times in the back for a bargain they never intended to Honor to fruition… they gambled they would die in front of the dragons… so confident in their own delusions of superiority… she would not only allow a child to carry the burden … scared his back…for her own twisted desire … his fathers body growing cold beside him… but she smiled while she stabbed him… and when she was done… told the child of a king in his own right to wipe his blood off her shoes…” he shuttered his whole body “ the rest of the story is Xadens.” He looked at me deeply. His gaze of understanding did more to cure the torment in my heart than anything else. “You can forgive him, he made a mistake, likely more than one… but no matter how much you want to hate him, you can’t betray your heart…. “ Brennan said as he kissed my forehead and pulled the fluffy blanketed over me. “Sleep well little sister.”

I knew I was going to forgive Xaden the moment I woke up and saw him at my bedside. I remembered all the things he said as we flew while under the poison. I knew he was worth trusting. And I also knew no matter what happened I was still in love with him and I knew he was keeping things from me. I didn’t know what, but I knew it was monumental. I’m upset now that I called him a traitor… we both have to make amends.

I don’t remember falling asleep but I woke up in the middle of the night. I have an overwhelming need to find Xaden. I reached out to him.

“Xaden, where are you.” I asked. He feels distant.
“Come find me” his reply is soft and almost unrecognizable. The stone floor is cold on my feet, but my pack and flight leathers are there beside the dresser. I don’t feel like flight leathers… I can’t explain that feeling I shove my feet into my boots under the nightgown and robe I’m in. I open my pack and take out Xaden’s flight jacket and wrap myself in it’s warmth and familiar scent.

My feet seem to magically know where to find him. I hesitated before leaving the stone fortress for a moment but I found one of my daggers still stuffed carelessly in the deepest pocket of his jacket. I should not have hesitated, Xaden is just feet from the castle door, sitting in a silver puddle of moonlight in the remains of what was once likely a beautiful garden of sorts.

“Found you.” I say out loud his gaze sweeps over me and the hurt mixed with desire he is desperately trying to war away filling his onyx eyes is enough to almost undo me.

“ gods my jacket looks so damn good on you” he tries that bravado I’m so used to. It falls flat with the desperate and hopeless tone he can’t hide in his voice.

“Brennen told me almost everything… he said the rest of the story is yours to tell me.” I said taking a seat next to him close enough I could feel the heat of him, but not touching. His eyes turn baleful as he looks at me.

“ I know I have no right to ask, or even deserve to want anything from you but can I please hug you or even just hold your hand or even just touch you for a second. I’m on a knife's edge with my sanity coming so close to loosing you.” His chest shutters with a jagged breath as his voice pitches upwards.

I give him my hand and let him lace his fingers through it. He brings it up to his face and brushes across the bristle of growth there but stops before he gives me the kiss I can see on his lips.

“I learned the The truth when I was 6. You can’t see it anymore but you can feel it.” He brings my hand to his neck and rests it the part that’s covered by the darkest most solid part his rebellion relic. I traced a rigid scar that I’d felt the first time I touched his relic there. When he told me it was a blessing and a curse.
“ The bastard knew I carried that scar from the night my mother died , and made sure my relic covered it. “. He sucked in a deep breath. “ my mother and I were attacked by a venin while out on the outskirts … she didn’t have any magic, she did the only thing a mother can do, she threw herself over me to protect me…” he squeezed my hand tight like it was the only thing tethering to this world… “ thats when my father started the rebellion… he knew the king would never change and would just keep the lie… the rebellion was so close to winning and they were not even fully prepared, he was a master strategist. If he was not betrayed by his best friend who served as his first lieutenant he would have won… every secret he kept from his best friend is the reason the 107 are alive, why they all accepted execution to save us…my father shared the truths with me in the days before his death… as best he could. I know I broke your trust by not telling you everything… violet. But my father trusting the wrong person cost me everything …. and I let that fear destroy …us… and The words I’m sorry don’t do enough to fix it.” He shuttered. I moved my had to brush his face before that motion made me arm jerk back at the wrenching feeling inside my gut. I looked deep into his eyes and took a stilling breath and touched his face again he nuzzled his face into my palm in such an un Xaden like gesture it almost made me laugh, Dain at least was wrong when it came to Xaden… Bargrsth didn’t strip him to his core… his love for me does… the softer parts he’s trained himself to hide… this isn’t a man who is keeping me alive for his own benefit… this is a broken hearted soul trying desperately to seek affection … seeking any affirming touch to remind him he’s still human. In just a few seconds he chanced a quick glance at me, likely fearing I would reject him. Before looking back down.

“ Who was your fathers lieutenant? I asked him. Though I had a very strong guess. But was thankfully proven wrong and simultaneously destroyed even more by it. He didn’t hesitate to answer, and the fire I felt rose in his skin, the stiffness that swiftly straightened his spine spoke to the deep pain he felt.

“ Colonel Aetos. He was never my father's friend, the king knew Tyrrish were powerful and needed a way to destroy us, to bring us under his heel. “ he said without so much as lifting his head. Something inside me snapped at seeing this powerful man, broken and defeated. I knew I should have felt like the axis of my world had shifted with that declaration given all I know now…. But really it didn’t . My world had shifted the day I locked eyes on Xaden on the parapet.

“Look at me Xaden.” I commanded him inside that space between our minds. He turned up his head just as a gust of wind blew my hair loose from his flight jacket.

“I love you Xaden” I fully gave myself over to him at that moment, I knew my heart no longer belonged to me it belonged to him… I knew nothing was going to be perfect that it would take time for me to rebuild the trust I had given him freely once… but I would not have him beg at my feet for it… he deserved to hold his head on high… and right now he hates himself for how much he hurt me… I felt something then… a fire in my heart heated up my entire body in that tingling feeling I always knew was tied to him.

“Violet, when I said if you died, I would die… it doesn’t have a damn thing to with our dragons bond… it’s you, you consume me, I love you… you are my heart … I had forgotten how love felt before you, after all I’ve lost… you are the salvation of my humanity.” He said and our lips collided. For the first time when we touched I felt his shadows swirl around me , felt a crackling of lightning burning thought my heart as his shadows filled the crack his power imprinted my heart and it burned. It felt like dragon's fire pumped down my veins and into my very being . But I never had been kissed so brusingly by him, never craved the pain that burning consumed me. It stole my breath and I felt Xaden catch too as the light of the moon was swallowed by our dragons all three of their massive forms swirling and landing around us as a they breathed a ring of fire that unleashed into us almost choking both of us with its heat as I felt Xaden pull me into his body. The moment passed and the stars shone once more, the moonlight fell on us again.

I looked at Xaden, his pupils blowing wide with confusion marking his face as I’m sure it marked my own.

“Firehearts” Xaden almost whispered inside my head. I heard my dragon's telltale chort.

“Yes, Firehearts.” He said clearly to both of us.

If all the nightmare parts of my childhood fables were true, why not the good parts too. Firehearts chosen by the stars in strange magic even the fables didn’t understand. No proof of any such bond had ever existed even in the fables it was thought to be myth and fantasy…. But no more.

I looked at Xaden but eyes got caught in the third large dragon before me… Andarna. Was enormous. Even bigger than Tairn, and darker now, her scales still golden in the silvery moonlight but more burnished with a black patina. I felt Xaden twist so I could truly see her…his hand on the small of my back as I took her in and she dropped her head to press into my forehead.

“I was so worried about you.” She said to me. I kissed her snout. Which I don’t know if any rider has ever had the courage to do before. She playfully then nipped at Xaden's flight jacket pulling the sleeve down just enough that I caught sight of my arm and heard Xaden gasp and felt the rustle of him pulling off his own shirt as I let his jacket fall fully off. We both just stared.

Beautiful and intricate swirls, different from any relic ever seen before, twinned on our arms, mine covering shoulder to elbow while Xaden flowed down to almost his wrist and up his neck matching his rebellion relic in size but filled with the blue, black and gold of our trio of dragons. I fell into his arms as wings glided out from the three dragons shielding us as we made love in the shelter of their wings . Nothing was hurried or felt strange being so close to our dragons. It was soft and magical and intensely intimate in such a way that it went without being said that this was tied to our fireheart bond , that this expression of love was part of the magic of our bonding it could have been days, weeks or month we spend in that magical space memorizing every way to bring pleasure to each others body. It was as if time was different , we were different.

After our joinings had left our Bodies jellied as we laid softly resting on each other. Xaden finally broke the silence and asked Tairn a question.

“Is the fireheart bond why you allowed me to ride you when she was in danger, you knew you were faster and she needed me there to keep her safe. “ he asked

“Dragons are law unto themselves, but even we yield to the greater power of the stars.” Tairn said sagely.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

As dawn approached I was awoke to a trail of kisses on my face. My head rested on Tairn as Xaden took his time to lovingly waking me up.

“We need to go the war room to meet the others and I have a feeling you would like to look a little less freshly ravished when we do.” He cocked a grin at me. He helped me to my feet and kissed me as the last star winked out. I felt for the grounding of my signat but it wasn’t there… I was inside a kaleidoscope of memories… Xadens memories. His smile was beaming as he looked at me. I had every memory of his inside me.

“That happened to me the first time I kissed you. The flooding.” He said with a knowing grin.

“I know you're about to ask.” He said and said switched into our minds.

“It’s not related to our dragons, though being mated helps make the channels far easier. My mother was an intrinsic, a borne one, not one created by a bond. It’s not a gift anyone knows much about because it's a death sentence in most any kingdom, but my mothers gift was passed to me.” He said and I kissed him. I could see now that he shared this gift with me how he was able to always know answers he shouldn’t .

“How does it work… touch?” I asked.

“Gods NO… my mother might have been able to explain how to uses it… or what actually just happened but I was so little when she died I don’t have… I don’t know how her power worked… I only new I had inherited some of her gift when I could since you after threshing and I thought it was our dragons till I kissed you and that same thing happened ” he finished.

“Whatever the reson im glad it happened .” I leaned up and kissed him again.

After quickly showering and getting on our now clean flight leathers we headed into what Xaden called the war room. Everyone who had survived was there and I gripped Xaden hand tighter feeling Liam’s absence he understood and kissed my temple. We sat and discussion commenced.

“I don’t have a choice but to go back. The scars on my back bind me to service , it’s a risk but not everyone with a relic is old enough for conscription, nor are we ready to fight this on own.” After quite a bit of colorful dialogue and idea hit me.

“Imogen… can your power alter memories , not just erase them if you hold back?” I blurted out.

“ I’ve never tried… what’s your full idea?” She asked.

“The missive from the beginning said… surrender your position as a wing leader or follow your mission and abandon the souls there…what if we alter memories erasing the Wyvren, change then to griffin… we chose battle yes, Xaden will lose his rank, but let’s face it… wing leader or not with my mother in place no one with a rebellion relic is going to be spared the frontlines…she may not kill you with her hands , but make no mistake your little more than griffon fadder In the eyes of the kingdom. “ I said.

“Brilliant fucking woman” Xaden chimed in my head.

“I can try, but erasing everything we went through feels wrong to those we lost.” Imogene said.

“We only have to erase mine…. Dain, has the signat ability of retrograding a persons memories through touch, that’s how he knew where to send us…. He stole from me, without my consent using years of friendship to cover it up.” Anger vibrated around the room and I wasn’t sure how much of it fell on my shoulder as much as Dain. …

“Dain will steal my memories the second he can…and I can bet share them with his father… he wants to be a wing leader… he also wants me to chose him over Xaden and if we work my memories to show I’ve lost all faith in Xaden Dain won’t hesitate to tell his father to himself look better.” I said.

“It could work.” Imogen said. “At a hell of a cost, to you. We saw what Liam meant to you… and Xaden …”Her voice.

“How do we ensure he reads her…” bohdi questions. And I see Xaden stiffen.

“You're not going to like this part of the plan…” I said to him
“I haven’t heard it yet and I already know this is going to make me want to kill him…slowly.” Xaden hisses though his teeth even inside my head and Garrett and the other third year laughed at his expression.

“He prayed off our friendship… I’m going to pray off his affection for me… scramble his emotions while he reads me… if he thinks I’m close to death he may not look too deep or deep enough to see the gaps.” I finished and I could hear Xadens teeth grinding.

“ You're wrong, don't just not like this plan… I fucking ballisticly hate this plan…”Xaden said in my mind

“One issue… our return is required in less than 8 hours, we are more than 14 hours out if we leave this second…we can’t push our dragons that hard after battle. “ Garett supplied.

“Leave that to me” Tairn explained. No room for augment in his tone. By the looks around the room everyone got the same message from their dragons.

“It’s a risk, we don't know how big of one with no status from the other wings.” Xaden said. “Mine and violences signets and dragons are powerful enough they won’t risk wanting to lose us if they don’t have to…but that is not a guarantee.” Xadens' voice wobbled. “But if we don’t return, every scar on my back is for nothing.” He fished, and squeezed his hand and brought it to my lips.

“We’re in this together Wingleader” Garret chimed. As heads bobbed in unison.

We all slit off with a 15 minute plan to pack and be airborne.

Brennen darted from the war room faster I've seen him run before. Xaden and I meet in his bedroom. He slipped both our packs over his shoulder

“Tairn said dress for high altitude, your flight jacket was ruined cutting it off to mend your arm. Take mine.” Xaden said already looping it around me.

“I have something you're going to need.” Brennen said from the doorway.
“It’s my own mix… take it about ten minutes before you need to, and not in the air… it will cause hallucinations , drop your pulse low, keep your breathing shallow… Nolan will have the antidote, but it wears off on its own in an hour or so… it packs a wallop letting it run its full course though. “ he said. Putting the Vial in my hands. And pulling me tight into his chest.

“It closely mimics blood poisoning from an internal injury… broken ribs are the most likely cause.”

“Fuck no… we’re not breaking her rib for this…”. Xaden was in his face but brennan was unfazed.

“No, I wouldn’t dream of it but I’m a mender… I can pool enough blood around her rib to have the look of a broken rib and the blood will reabsorb naturally into her system in a few days and it’s nearly painless .” He said as Xaden's posture relaxed but didn’t give him an inch.

“Do it Brennan.” I said xadens side.

“ I need to see your skin to make sure I get the look right.” He said regretfully.

I understood and shrugged out of Xaden jacket and turned to him to undo the laces with speed and lifted the under tunic leaving me in just my binding for my chest.

“I wish I had time to bash your teeth in Xaden at how fast you are with those laces on my sister’s back.” Brennen trademark humor shining though till he gasped and grabbed my Fireheart relic.

“What…the…'' he chanced a glance at Xaden who stretched the collar of his flight Leathers enough to show the edge of his.

“We’re Firehearts” I said as reconciton spiraled though Brennan's face.
“So no need for your big brother bullshit about how I need to protect her… because that relic on her arm means even the stars know I will.” Xaden said with a chuckle hitting Brennan on his shoulder.
“I should still take you to the mat for good measure.” Brennen grumbled as he worked.
“Next time brother.” He said, smiling at Brennen. And I didn’t think about it, but that’s what they were now. Brothers. “Dad would love him, even if he is a rider” he whispered in my ear but loud enough for Xaden to hear. Before backing away and showing his handy work.

“That looks disgusting.” Xaden paled. “Can you move Violence? Does it truthfully not hurt?” He asked.
“Violence?” Brennen questions.
“Fits Better than Pansy.” He quibbled back.
“Him and Mira would be fun at the dinner table.” He chided As I ran through a series of movements and stretches.
“I can tell it’s there… like a week- old bruise , it's no pain.” I said and Xaden accepted it.
“I’ll meet you at the flight field.” He said and headed out.

Saying goodbye to Brennen again was gut wrenching more than I expected. But within minutes we were climbing higher than I thought safe. The air thinned but flight seemed faster here. All our dragons flying in tight formations Tairn in the head position. Still climbing I felt a little dizzy and alarmed.

“Relax…trust me.” He soothed. I felt a tingle and I thought I saw a fall of glitter and the dizzy feeling increased to the point of nausea. I closed my eyes to keep it at bay. Then almost as soon as it came it passed and I looked around. We were above the dense cloud cover. After several hours of looking at nothing beyond the dense cloud over that scrounged us I felt us flying downward. We gently touched down minuets later … just inside one of the fathests practice fields. Everyone looked around in wonder and murmurs of how we made a 14 hour flight in just a few hours. I looked into Tairn eyes, and saw other riders do the same.
“We are all fine, we just need a few days rest.” Tairn said as he nuzzled his head into his mates neck.

“You ready for this…” Xaden asked.
“I love you, and yes… keep my real memories safe till I’m ready to have them back.” I said and kissed him fiercely

Imogen coughed in annoyance. I turned and nodded to her and willed and prayed it would work. I felt her weaving her signet around my memories . Stealing them and recasting them. Seeing Liam's death changed almost broke me I clutched onto Xaden for support. And in seconds it was done. I cried tears of relief and grief at what’s been done. Took the vial of poison Brennen gave me. It tasted so disgusting I almost gagged. I regretfully walked towards Garrett, and saw Xaden stiffen as I gave him his jacket back. Imogen reached for me again… but Xaden stopped her.
“I love you. I know she’s going to take this from you but I still want you to have it as the last thing before she Erases it.” I saw jaws drop around us as he kissed my forehead and Imogen power touched me again taking away this blackness.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Dain pov

Sweeping over the school for the first time in 5 days with a sense of triumph and dread. I knew Xaden was hiding something… I told my father about how he told Violet where he had been on a mission that was never in the listed squad missions. My father agreed he’d take care of it. He assured me this would make me Wingleader next year but my gut twisted when he took Violet with him. I know he’s touched her, but also doesn’t love her a thought which revolts me…I’m not her frist, and she’s not mine but why did he have to fuck her… At least I know her well enough to know she’s was upset bout his disgusting brand of fucking… she’s still tangled up thinking she can be the good in him… but there isn’t and I will be there to pick up the piece when she finally gives up… I had just finished that thought when I saw her dragon flying towards the vale from the practice field. I scan the field and I spot the group of them running towards the school. I spot Xadens tell tail black mop of hair at the back of the grouping. I didn't see her silver hair till I realized that Garrett was carrying someone. My heart aches. I can’t see her but I know it’s her. Cath senses my emotions and bullets at them… I’m jumping down off her before she even fully lands and my knees pop with impact but I run to Garrett and that pink haired bitch. I want to hold her but I need to know what happened first. I touch her face in Garrett's arms .

I see it now, they stopped to water their dragons and were attacked by a drift of griffons I watch as she fights using her power. Liam, Xaden right hand man being killed when his dragon is killed by a griffon's claw to his venerable underbelly. Then I see it… she’s about to die, she's falling from her dragon, Xaden whips his power that could save her to save Imogen who was stupid enough to let a griffon get close to her 6. I see the impact her body takes from the fall. I don't understand how she’s not dead but she’s warm under my fingers… too warm… she’s feverish. I see Xaden at the corner of my sight and want blood. Without even a moment thought I send my fist into his unsuspecting jaw which sends him tumbling into his pink whore and his cousin who both grip him. I snarled in anger at him but before I could kill him many figures emerged at our backs. But three key ones.

My dad, General Sorrengill, and Malgren. I regained enough of my sanity at the site of Xadens' now darkerning jaw, I can tell from the unnatural angle it’s broken. But it’s then I truly look at Violet … her breath is painfully sluggish , she fevered, and saw that fall… internal injuries are often silent killers… my heart drops to my feet. I met Garret's eyes.

“ Dain…. “ Violet screams and continued unintelligible in terror. Thrashing in pain.
“Give her to me, Now.” I demanded.
“She needs a mender…” Xaden slurs in pain.
“Because of you… ass hole.” I slam out.
“This again… by all means Aetos continue your Dick measuring contest while our best weapon to save the kingdom dies.” The pink bitch adds as she draws herself possessively over Xadens shoulder
“Squad leader Aetos I need a word with you.” General Malgren said placing a demanding hand on my shoulder. Violets head nuzzled into my neck and her eyes flew open and she seamed to calm as she rapidly blinked.
“I’ve got you Vi.” I said and kissed her temple. She’s so feavored it almost burns my lips.
“I lo…love. Yo” she whispered as her back arches at an natural angle as more unintelligible gibberish flows freely.
“I’ve always loved you Vi, I will keep you safe, love.” I say to her loudly makeing sure Xaden hears… and my father. With her signate, her mothers position, if I can secure an engagement to her it will easily advance my career… and idea hits me, it’s a lie, but not one that breaks any rules, and my father will go along with it and cover my tracks.

“General Sorrengill, I know the timing isn’t great we agree to wait till after her first year, but Violet and I are engaged, I asked her after the fear we both felt at monsuratte.” Lilith eyes go wide, but not with suprize , more cunning. My fathers eyes me questioningly and I give him a look that begs him to back me up.

“He asked for my permission as a leading officer due to their differences in rank, I gave my permission.” My father lies smoothly. “I know her safety is of your upmost importance but please son we need to discuss … matters, that apply to your signat clearance.” I understood that even though he was my father whatever he planned for xadens squad is biger than me at the moment, which stung but I understood.
“You boy…” General Sorrengill snapped at Garrett .
“Take her to Nolan. The rest of you follow Colonel Aetos

I pass Violet into Garrett, and followed leadership into a small counsel room.

Before everyone could file in I was singled out to join them first. While the others waited in the small hallway.

“What did you see in her memories… how did Roirson betray the kingdom.” General Malgren asked.

“He didn’t…not that I saw. They stopped to water their dragons just outside the wards and were ambushed but a drift of griffons … he made some very questionable choices as their leader but ultimately didn’t break any codes.” I said.

“An your positive you extracted the full memory?” My father questioned.

“Yes, I went all the way back to her leaving on the flight field. She is also in such pain she is not capable of making any shielding to block me.” I added for good measure.

“Very well then.” General Sorrengill said with a deep sigh. “Dain… that signat of hers is dangerous, especially tied to the Roirson boy… her body is too weak to manage it. We need her to keep it leashed. Do you understand?” She asked coldly.

“Yes.” I replied.
“Dismiss all the others expect Roirson.” She replied.
……………………………………………………………………………………
I feel myself coming out on the other side of the poison… I can feel myself waking up and then I feel Xaden inside my mind… “ Violet, can you hear me?” He asked.

“Yes, but why do you sound so funny.” I asked at the sluggish slur in his voice.

“I’ve been given a sleeping draft… there is not much time to explain…. I’m going to project to you…” he said and everything that seemed wrong in my mind was corrected …then I saw Dain deck Xaden hard , felt his pain at his jaw breaking… then anger boiled as I watched the utter privilege and entitlement of Dain lie.

“He's lying…” I shouted to Xaden in my mind.
“I know, I’d know it even if I didn’t have your memories… it’s going to make things difficult… “ I can tell he’s fighting the sleep medicine.
“I love you, no matter what happens to me, you're safe, I love you.” And with that he’s gone, I know he’s asleep, I might be able to reach him in normal sleep but I can’t fight the drugs in his system… I finally open my eyes to see where I am… it’s clear I’m in the infirmary but I close my eyes and sleep… sleep to deal with the overwhelming relief that our plan worked, and grief for Xadens pain. A while later I woke with Nolan looking very disgruntled at me.
“ lilac seed and lactis flower, and a harmless blood pooling.” His voice was cold and distant. I started to try and speak but he halted me with his hand.
“I don’t want to know… I just want to know if you're sure this is what you want.” He asked.
“It is. The right path isn’t easy, but it’s right.” I said.
“You're going to need to hide that Relic, so is he. My wife is mixing you up a powerful concealer as we speak. And you only have minutes before Aetos arrives.” He said some of the warmth returned to his voice.
“You know what it is?“ I Stumble. He doesn’t answer how I expect .
“He’s a few beds over, I had to give him a sleeping draft… he should be awake in a few minutes , Aetos fractured his jaw with a well placed punch.” I leaped up to go to him but strong hands stopped me. And I see Garrett beside the bed. Shaking his head.
“Violet, while you were unconscious, Dain told the entire squad not only what happened with the griffons, but also that you and he are engaged.” My mind was spinning. I saw it happen from xadens pov but I didn’t think about the implications… that I can’t go to Xaden… my heart pulls to him.
“We will figure something out.” Garrett say and slips from the room but I can bet he didn’t go far, we would know with Xaden out cold and Dain on his was that he was going to close if things got out of hand.
Dain entered the room and reached to touch me. I reached for his hands holding his wrists away from my face but I laid my head on his shoulder and despite the confused look on his face he hugged me tight before I winced… nothing actually hurt but it was easy to convince him it did.
“I’m sorry Vi.” He leans back and rests his hands on my legs as he shifts to sit on the bed with me.
“How are you feeling?” He asked.
“Very sore and my head is swimming.” I said.
“We need to talk, very soon, but not hear … after formation meet me in my room.
“Formation?” I asked, looking at the darkness outside my window.
“Yes, your mom called for a school wide formation prior to the formal ending of the war games… Xaden and the others are being stripped of their rank for the terrible leadership at risking first years when they were ambushed rather than calling in for backup or disengaging because there was no civilian risk. He's lucky the tribunal didn’t charge him with Liam and soleils death.” He said with an arrogance that rubs my spine raw, but I knew I couldn’t react to.

He placed a sharp kiss at the corner of my mouth as Nolan enters and shoes him off to finish his final checks.

At formation I can feel Liam’s absence like a brand on my skin… but I’m happy to finally set eyes on Rhiannon, Ridoc, and sawyer. If their eyes all look hallow like they know something I don’t know. It’s then I see Xaden ahead of the others from our squad… all of them have their ranks and metals stripped , but Xaden. My mother martches to him as she speaks but her words are lost I can only see him as she physically rips his rank from him infront of the entire school… the many cheers that ring out make my ears want to bleed. I’m confused when I see a wooden kneeling stool broght to the front . My heart seizes she is going to whip him… there hasn’t been a public whipping in 50 years at Basgrath. Two slashes I heard my mother anouce one for each cadet he lost… his beautiful dragon relic will be wreck is my witless brain decides is important at that moment till he pushes up his sleaves passes his elbow… showing his rebellion relic but before I can gasp or react I see the concealer created for us must have worked because I can’t see our fireheart relic.

“I chose the wrist to protect the marked ones… part of my bargain is no one is supposed to know about that reminder.” He says to me and my heart breaks for him.

“I’m with you.” Is all I think to say. Then think of something.

“Project to me, your happiness memory when whip flys.” I tell him to keep his mind as far from the pain as I can.

I can almost see him flipping to find just the right one when he finds it. It’s a woman reading a Children's book, she is animated while she shows him the pages as he sits on the lap of powerful looking man… then my wrist burns. Filling my eyes with tears at the sting. I can feel xadens shock in my mind as he tries to block me but Force into him my own memory before he can fully retreat. It’s warm and there’s a creek behind our home then Brennan is swinging into the water from a rope and my other wrist burns worst than the first and my knees buckle at the pain . Ridioc helps stand.

“Broken rib, I’m still dizzy. From the mending.” I blabber and clutch my side. But before I can say much else Dain is at my side as we have been dismissed back to our rooms and while his touch to others may look comforting his grip is tight and uncomfortable as I try and keep up with his long strides. He locks us inside his room which I recognize as xadens wing leader room and my anger churns as I stumble when he almost flings me on his bed.

“I saved your life today.” He whispers but the venom in his voice isn’t lost on me.
“Nolan saved me.” I retorted.
“Not from the blood poisoning, from execution.” He says. “Xaden May not have got caught, but he’s up to something… he’s just like fen… he had no business at that outpost, he was sent there with his squad to snuff out what exactly his plans are, it’s a shame we failed to find them out because of that ambush.” He says And I have to thing and keep my face plain.

“You’ve read him?” I ask innocently enough.
“I’ve tried but no, he’s smart enough to avoid me. But I’m training for intelligence work with my father so I don’t just have to read him.” He says his jaw ticks telling his lie.
“I couldn’t let you get caught up in his web when it finaly burns… you cried out in your delium for me…” I actually remembered that part I saw him and my brain was so lost I forgot to hate him… but what’s worse when he came to me the sun had shaded him from
Behind blackening his hair in my confusion I thought it was Xaden not him…”I told leadership that we were secretly engaged… I love you violet, and deep down I know you love me too. Your only caught up with him because your dragons are mated…. I please I’m begging you to believe me we belong together.” He said and I gave him a stunned look. He tried to kiss me and pushed gently into his chest. He stops his pursuits.

“I’m pretty sure that’s the worst wooing in the history of wooing a woman… you may be a hell of a cadet, but your lousy at proposing… any other woman would tell you no, but I guess for your sake it’s good I’m not like every other woman.” I say even though my toung feels like sandpaper in my mouth. I didn’t expect for him to tackle me onto his bed so fast. Thankfully he so caught up in his own ministrations of kissing me that he doesn’t notice I’ve gone limp. I can’t do this. I just can’t.

“Dain…” I plea.

“Oh, your still healing, I shouldn’t have been so careless.” He said and for once I’m relieved he sees me as fragile as glass.

“I promise I’ll never hurt you Vi… I’ll be gentle. “ he kisses into my neck softly his hands moving to the hem of my shirt… he feels so entitled to my body it makes me sick and a shutter. Which he senses too…
“I know he was rough with you, slamming and breaking your furniture pushing you around for his own sick pleasure…I love you violet let me show you how much ” he stops because he caught himself. Thank the fucking gods. I slam my hands into his chest knocking the wind out of him slightly.

“You read me!” I screamed in a seething tone before shoving off his bed and running out his room as he sputters and tries to explain it was an accident… as soon as I leave his room I run right into Xadens chest. And he envelopes in shadows just long enough to get us inside xadens neighboring room.

Once inside I launch out of xadens grip and fall to my knees and wrap around myself.

“He tried to be with me…” I say out loud to force myself to believe it

“What do you need?” Xaden asks as he kneels beside me. He gives me time and space to decide what I need.

“He’s been reading more than I thought…” I say between our minds and even there my voice sounds small and broken. “But at least now we know what he reads is tempered by his emotions. His signat has a fatal flaw.” I say. I paused and took a few more breaths. “Xaden, I can’t …with him, every touch feels like a rape…I need to get his touch off my skin.” I say in a broken sounding plea.
“How do you want me to remove his touch?” He asks in a calm that betrays the burning rage I feel from him.
“I don’t know … I feel like he’s branded me … I feel disgusting … ” He sweeps in and pulls me to my feet, He pulls off his own shirt and gently moves both of us to his bed and rests my head on his shoulder and runs soothing lines down my back and pressed a gentle kiss to the crown of my head. And it’s then I see his bandaged wrists.
“Stay here in this moment only… just feel me… feel how my heart beats for you. Just stay here in my arms don’t let that brilliant fucking mind of yours focus on anything but my skin .” A tear falls down my cheek.
“Feel what you need to feel right here right now with me” he soothes and I let go, just feeling him.
……………………………………………………………………………………

Chapter Text

I cried, I was mute just letting him trail fingers over my back, I got angry and shouted at him, I shattered an old dagger he had throwing it at a target in a fit of rage…after hours of highs, lows, and everything in between I finally took a huge deep breath… all the grief over Liam , the lingering distrust I had for Xaden, the utter betrayal I felt from Dain, just all of everything the last 5 days poured out… the good, the bad and the ugly of it.

Xaden was on his back his eyes closed but he wasn’t sleeping he was just holding me.

“Xaden.” I say and he opens his eye slightly.
“I don’t want to feel like this again… at the core of everything this week had done is I felt helpless, I didn’t know my memories were stolen, I didn’t know I was walking into you helping the griffon’s riders” at that I felt him stiffen and look at me with a hollowness I’m his eyes, I pressed on.” I didn’t know about the veine, and that they were the true enemy, I didn’t know my best friend was capable of harming me in so many ways… but not matter what I didn’t know or should have know… or tried to do an failed… what’s done is done… I need to take control of what I can, learn fast from my mistakes, take ownership of my failures…” I took a deep breath to steady myself. “I’m engaged, for now at least to Dain… and that gives us the ability to control the information he can get from his signat , I can use and hone my ability to change the outcome of war, but it won’t change if I cry on your chest anytime things get hard. I need to…”
Xaden cut me off. “No, Violet. Cry on me all you need to… cry, scream, throw daggers. I don’t give a fuck… be real and in the moment with me. With me your safe to feel however you need to feel, use my love to cleanse, fortify, or forget what you have to be out there… in here… we’re together. Two hearts … one soul.” He crushed me in a hug so tight I could almost feel bruises.
“ my biggest mistake I made was thinking I had to bottle up everything, that keeping the truth from you would keep me from disaster, but that almost cost me your life, and your love… I won’t make that mistake again and neither will you. No matter what happens you can trust me with anything you think, anything you feel, anything you want. We give each other the truth no matter the cost… but not doing so the cost is higher. `` he kissed me and it felt like a promis seried across my skin. Like a promise between us held magic. There would be no reasons to lie to him ever.

“ since we are being 100% honest… no lies, no half truths… no white lies…I think I have a confession.” I say to him. He raises one eyebrow noting my tone is both playful and serious.

“The rugged look isn’t… isn’t my favorite.” I said as I ran my fingers over the week old growth on his face. “ if you absolutely love it, I think I could learn to …”

“Aetos..has a beard.” He said sucking in his teeth. He said pushing up slightly to leave the bed.

“It’s that… and I just think you look better without it. You said if I wanted to own you let my hair down… if you want to own me shave.” I giggled.

“It’s that simple huh?” He said. And he picked me up by my hips and walked me to his bathroom and sat me up on his bathroom counter. He stepped away for a second and fished one of my daggers out of my uniform I had left on the floor. I was dressed in my underthings and his soft shirt . He had just his tight black undershorts. He comes back to me and hands me the dagger and a jar of shaving soap.

I looked at him confused.

“I trust you.” He says with zero explanation.

“You trust me what?” I asked.
“To give me a shave.” He said with a devilish smile.
“ You want to put a dagger to your thoat… you don’t need to do this, to prove you trust me…” I said to him.
“I know… it’s hot as fuck watching you weild those daggers. Your turned on by me being cleaned shaved… consider it forplay.” He said as his hand rubbed along his already hard length visible as a bulge in his shorts. His eyes burned hot with desire, but with a hint of pleading… that I didn’t understand.

I opened and reached my hands into the jar of soap and broght it to my nose. Mint and something else… this is the smell of mint on him i love so much …it’s his shaving soap. I tried to hide my deep inhale of the refreshing sent. But he laughed and my cheeks rosied. I lathered the soap between my fingers and he moved his face very close to me. Placing his hands next to both my hips.

I touched both his cheeks and felt that familiar tug in my gut related to Dain power… I keept my eyes on xadens, rubbing over his cheeks till the feeling passed and when he saw it had cleared he closed his eyes and nuzzled his face into my fingers, the first time he did that it stunned me, but now I saw him differently. I kissed his forhead till he opened his eyes. His eyes spoke to his past and the years he went without loves how he’d locked away what he needed to feel human he was retracting himself to feel, he was also training me to feel differently about facial touching in the wake of so much pain associated with that loving gesture. I finished, lathering his face and picked up the dagger he handed me.

“Do you always shave with a dagger?” I asked, still unsure of this idea of his.
“ No sometimes I use a broad sword.” He said. And we both laughed. I held his face still and started my work on shaving his face … Within a few seconds I felt his right hand leave my hip but kept my focus on my task till he let out a huge grown and I glance down his arm to find him stroking himself, I looked at him as I held the blade still and he grinned wickedly and in my mind
“This the hottest fucking shave ever” he said.
I decided to play with him. I did a very short stroke with the blade on his check and he matched it on himself… I kept my eyes on his face but mixed my strokes between long and short. Xadens breath and groans of pleasure became erratic and control began to shutter just as I finished his throat with the blade taking the final long stroke he came undone with such force he pressed his forehead onto my shoulder.
“Fuck, Violet.” He said with a breathless deep rumble. “I’ll never be able to shave with a razor again….fuck… I made a mess on you… and damn it if I don’t love that sight more than I should.” He said as I realized his release covered most of my lap. I pulled his face to me with both hands gently. And looked at his eyes thanking him for this… I didn’t have words for what he just done. It didn't feel like training but he’d used his lust as a weapon to overcome my fear … he understood and took my face between his palms and kissed me with almost savage desire.

He pulls me off the counter and into his arms… I feel the prickle of my power and smooth my hands on xadens chest. I want him more than I can say but I need to make sure the world doesn’t know I can’t control my signate when I’m with him. He released his shadows around me plunging us into darkness.

Umm… Violet…. He says outloud. And the shadow disappear and I see his face marred with confusion.

“I didn’t … that wasn’t me.” He stutters and I hear Tairn snort with laughter.
“Try it again…. Can you tap into my shadows?” He asked if I nonded and tried and was able to manage a weaker version of what I did completely by accident. He smiles his full smile that makes him devastatingly handsome .

“Brilliant fucking woman.” He says in my mind. I close my eye and kiss him. I feel the energy change in the room and feel static scrounge me. I open my eyes and see xadens palm is channeling lightning in small controlled Bursts.

“Holy shit, Violence….this isn’t like my shadows it has a mind of its own.” He says in awe but I can see his wheels turning.

“How…” I ask.

“I don’t care, how…. Violence… we can’t let anyone know this but do you know this means?” He asks and I shake my head.

“Darkness and shadows act as a sheild as much as they are a force I can use. This is how we can shield you from Dain. “ he kisses me and spins me around the room. “ they also make you more sensitive to what’s happening around you, it takes awhile but you will get a sense when things are off.” He said the look on his face is one I’ve never seen. He's giddy and it’s infectious.

In the next few days the school returns to normal… it feels surreal after uncovering all that I have … being around so many who don’t know the truth, listening to the reports in battles and knowing it’s lies.

After that first night I talked to Dain, told him a version of the truth. That after I left his room everything over the last 5 days boiled over that so much of what I felt was greif over the horrors of seeing a real battle. I told him how close I came to burn out trying to save Liam and had him die anyway. Dain for his part has put me on a glass pedestal. It’s been hard being physically separated from Xaden but he keeps his love in our connections of our minds… I told Dain that I need to work on separation between my dragons emotions and my own emotions and he understood, he has been sweet and loving and a total hindrance to my progress.

We are training under Dain who is now officially our wing leader. Xaden and I have been isolated from each other since that first night back. He’s done a great job showing everyone he’s angry and bitter about his loss of position. It’s a part of our plan but it still hurts to see him lose something that was valuable . My whole body yearns to be close to him. But at least we can communicate anytime we want if we can’t physically be together. It’s the last day for individual challenges as Tomorrow is final exams and graduations. Dain and Xaden are paired for challenges .

After their names are paired Dain takes his arm from around my shoulder and kisses my cheek in full view of everyone. I can feel xadens eyes on me.
“I love you” I say into his mind.
“Keep reminding me so I don’t kill him.” He says to me with a smirk on his face.

Weapons. Our professor asks them both. Dain jumps at the challenge.

“None, skill on skill.” Dain shouts. He has just enough of an inflated ego from his unprecedented promotion to wing leader early that he wants to show off. Xaden as planned has lost his two challenges this week, one of Garrick and one to imogen. Playing into the mind games we’re playing with Dain. Everything stills and goes unnaturally quite. Before I can see what going on.

“Fuck…. General Malgren is here.” Xaden tell me in my mind.
“And my mother…” I say back. But I don’t get to say much else Dain kisses my cheek and pulls his shirt over his head.

“Showing off Aetos” Imogene coo as she sweeps her arm over Xadens shoulder thr gestures looks possessive but it’s not, it’s for show. Her and Garrett finaly hooked up after the drama of battle.

It’s the first time I see Dain dragon relic it’s over his shoulder and pretty small, but he also has a cutting scar across his belly, I know dragons scar their riders but it looks like cath tried to gut him. As much as I hate him, the years of being his best friend soften my features at seeing that scar.

Xaden steps in the ring without pulling off his shirt, I know why he’s keeping his fireheart relic concealed, also outside the other children with rebellion relics he’s not allowed to explain the scars on his back. Part of my mothers mind games.

“Shy, Roirson?” Dain mocks.
“Just don’t need my ego stroked.” He says in cold indifference “though I guess with so little to work with every little bit helps.” Xaden finishes making a vulgar gesture with his hips. It’s just enough to get Dain to launch at him in a somewhat sloppy attempt to unseat him. Which Xaden avoids with laughable ease.
“Like taking candy from a baby” Xaden says inside my head. As ducks another swing from Dain. Soon enough though Dain gets his emotions under control and I see him flip Xaden to the Mat and go for a chokehold a move I know isn’t about cloaking Xaden it’s to read him. We planned for this. We just have to hope our combined power keeps him safe. I’m grounding inside the archives adding to xadens shadow walls to keep Dain out of his head except for the memories we want Dain to have. Dain face becomes heated and he slams a sloppy punch that hits the mat beside xadens face. Xaden has the balls to wink at me from his position on the mat and Dain noticed it. He gets madder I can see his anger ripping down his back ad Xaden flips them both with ease Dain it at his mercy.

“Tap out Aetos.” Xaden says not even out of breath. He almost does till he see me looking at them and I see him shift I know what he’s going to do next because I see how pisses he is he slams fits into xadens gut and I feel a tingle of his pain.it takes Xaden a few seconds to recover and when he does Dain has the upper hand as he had one of xadens arms pinned with his knee in his back. Xaden moves with that remarkable speed to upset Dain grip but Dian expected the move and tripped him wrecking xadens shoulder. I can tell by xadens face it hurt but he’s not out of the fight. Xadens foot connects hard with Dain knee and he falls almost at my feet. He definitely has an injury to his knee as when he tried to stand it buckles. Xaden appears to traction his own shoulder and our eyes meet and I forget not to smile at him. It’s then that time slows down, I feel one of my daggers ripped from thigh sheath from dain position half kneeling half standing Dain has stolen of my daggers and embedded it deep in xadens thigh . I step to him and feel a sharp pain between the scales of my vest deep into my back. I put my hand to the pain and it comes away red I turn my eye to Dain and see the blade I keep at my ribs in his hand is bloodied. Ridoc is there catching my fall as my body goes numb Tairn roars in my head like he can feel the pain. I’ve been hurt before and he’s never done that… this is bad.

Violet! Xaden yells through the haze of pain I feel. I can hear our professor and other students all shouting around me .
“Where Violet, where did he stab you?” I hear Xaden in my head and I’ve never heard fear like that in his voice.
“In my back… between the laces…” I tell him inside his mind.
“Roll her. I need to see.” Xaden commands Ridoc and I feel xadens arms around me and a scream in pain as he tries.
“We can’t move her, I got my hand holding the wond as best I can.” I hear Ridoc. His voice is shaken too.
“Rhiannon, get Nolan… we need him here now. “
“Roirson, you are no longer a wingleader. You can not summon a mender at will.” I hear my mother say to him as she stands nearby .
“She’s your fucking daughter, we can’t move her or she will bleed out.” Xaden snaps.
I feel the blackout coming.
“Stay with me baby.” I hear Xaden say inside my head.
“Baby?” I question him
“It slipped.” He replied trying to joke with me.
“I’m cold…Xaden” I tell him fearfully, everyone know feeling cold from blood loss is omen of death. I didn’t even realize I said it outloud I’d lost the grounding of my powers. His shadows start to swirls around me. I feel them lefting it sends blinding pain to my back but he fast enough to replace his hand where Ridoics was holding off the bleeding and get me into his arms running for the healers quadrant. I always knew he was unnaturally fast but his adderlin must be kicked into overdrive because he’s faster than I could even imagine. Before we are fully into the infirmary i here Rhiannon and Nolan. She clearly didn’t listen to my mothers warning about not getting the mender. There’s is a flurry of activity around me I feel the absence of xadens arms.

“Roirson… grab her hand and channel into her.” He said.
“I’m not a mender.” He questioned.
“You're her fireheart.” Nolan said. “You can absorb her pain, keep her stable channel into her and keep her heart steady.”
“I don’t know how.” I hear him panic.
“It’s natural, just do it.NOW!” He commands.

I feel xadens power flowing around me it’s dark, it it doesn’t scare me, it’s like the darkness of lovers, a darkness that calms, a darkness that feels pure. I feel Nolan’s gentle mending and I know I’m going to be ok.

Chapter Text

But nothing ever is…..

Nolan was drained and close to burnout when he finished mending her. He clapped his hand around my shoulder as if to mend it.

“Leave it, it doesn’t hurt… it’s done that overrotarion since I was child, it will be good as new in the morning… thank you.” I said to him though I know he didn’t need it.

“ Xaden… do you know that I helped deliver you?” He asked, stunning me. I knew my father was a rider and there was a chance they new each other but I didn’t know they were close. I was born in the castle, or fortress as it’s been called in recent history because only a king can have a castle and my father wasn’t a king… in the eyes of the navirrians at least.

I only looked at him wide eyed. He leaned down and whispered in my ear in Tyrrish. The language had fallen out of use, though most people Born in our part of the kingdom knew it, even if most only used it to swear colorfully.

What he said didn’t make a lot of Since. But he nonded to Violet . Making it clear the message was ment for her.

I counted her breaths from the chair before my body ached and I stupidly leaned over her on the bed half in the chair half beside her and instantly found a brief sleep.

My shadows woke me with a start just as Aetos entered her room. From the godsdamned window of all fucking places .

“Get the hell from my fiancé .” He snarled as he jumped down.

So he could break the rules when it suited him…. Interesting.

“ I don’t seem to recall her saying yes.” I didn’t let go of her hand and tried to still my entire body into calm. He had no claim to her. But even just being this close to her made my blood boil to a primal level.

“Of course…she…did.” He Stumbled.
“ it’s good I’m not like every other woman.” I said in a falsetto close to violets soft timber.

He paled….

“You were listening though my door you creep!” He spat.
“My shadows protect what’s mine.” I growled not moving from my spot in the chair holding the woman I love while she fights for her life.

“And considering this is the second time you have stabbed her in the back I doubt she will forgive you.” I said. Fuck… I just messed up…. I took a deep breath and hoped I could talk my way out of this.

“She crossed the fight circle, I can’t be…” he recited the codex till he caught himself on what I said.

“I never betrayed her. You may not have yet but it’s only a matter of time before leadership finds enough to hang you and the rest of the treasonous trash that is all trryrish people.” He snarled.

“It takes one to know one Ateos.” I stood then. Let a flicker of her lightning trail my arms along with my shadows… I could almost imagine the dark stain running down his pants leg even though he did his best to control his features.

“It’s been you all along… Violet doesn’t channel lighting, you have a duel signat and kept the second one hidden.” He mutters. Not what I thought he would jump to, but it makes since he can’t fathom her as anything but week.

“Sgyael and Tarim are mates, and they are exceptionally powerful dragons… I can tap into a thimbles worth of her signat , and with time she may be able to tap into mine. Face it Aetos, like it or not our dragons are mates, and we don’t get to make the rules dragons do.” That came out far nicer than I intended it too.

“ I’m graduating… I’ll be placed with a unit , and you know damn well my shadows are rare and vital to our efforts, there no way she can stay at Basgiath, if they want me at the front and your just making a fool pining for her besides….” I was interrupted by a presence I knew was there but was pretty sure Dain didn’t .

“ so much for your big talk about not keeping her under your heel roirson though Dain I would have thought better of you … I’ve watched you verbally spar with roirson and not once ask about your Fiancé wellbeing…” Myra scathed at both of us.

Dain cheeks turned red and he reached for Violet… I slapped his hand away him and Myra stood side by side opposed to me but didn’t speak.

“You stabbed her in the back… nearly severing her spinal cord… if you think about touching her again I’ll make sure Sgyael fries even your ashes to the point your ashes burn. “ I said full of threat.

“As your wing leader I can have you punished…” he didn’t get to finish that sentence as my shadows whipped around him slammed him halfway up the high stone walls.

“It’s after midnight… I’m no longer a cadet. I’m a rider.”

“And I’m your superior officer.” Myra said coldly. “Drop him.” She said and only for violet love of her sister did I yield dropping ateos more than half a dozen feet to the floor.

“I don’t know what shit you two have with each other but it needs to stop right here right now… your fight over her nearly killed her.” Myra said.

“Roirson seems to think just because their dragon are mated he’s aloud to fuck her anyway he wants… slamming her into furniture, binding her with his shadows he’s fucking sidisictic … he’s incapable of loving her…he just fucks her because he can and she can’t fully block Tairn yet… she loves me… he needs to drop his claim to her. '' Ateos said, puffing out his chest beside Myra who looked horrified and absolutely disgusted.

I caught on to something he said…. I knew he watched her memories of us having sex which was gross enough, but I’d never bound her with my shadows… that thought has never crossed my mind, defenseless women are not something that turns me on… in fact it has the opposite effect …. He’s always thought of her as week… Violet said his signat is effected by this own feelings….I think fast… that first year girl who complained that her partner choked her and wound up dead a few days later … she didn’t say who it was but it was consensual up till that point she said… she had talked to imogen about it…. I but as she wouldn’t name her partner there wasn’t anything I could do as leader of different squad in a different wing. I filed that information quickly.

“Tell me Ateos… what’s her favorite flower?” I asked innocently

“Violets of course.” He said.
“Poppies… because they are both medicine and poison.” I said and I saw Myras mouth gape open.
“ what’s her childhood nickname ?” He spits.
“Brennen called her Pansy… she absolutely hated it.” I responded, even though she now felt entirely different about the nick name from her brother and I’m sure the answer he wanted was the one from her father that most in the scribes quadrant would know … picking her brothers was a much better choice.

“How dare you say his name … I never heard him call her that your lieing.” He said.
“No he’s not… he called her that when she was a small child and once she got so upset she made herself throw up and dad made him stop but he kept doing it when our parents were out of ear shot… she would… never… she told you stories about Brennen?” Myra gasped and the way she said his name made me think she had not said it since he “died.”

I actually knew about the nickname long before I had her memories. Brennen's favorite thing to do is talk about his sisters. Myra some… but Violet… that man is softhearted for a rider, but the place Violet has in his heart is softer than cashmere. If I’m honest with myself I had already loved Violet long before I set eyes on her because I loved her like she was my little sister just from his stories, but when I met the woman she became and not the child of his stories I desired and loved the woman she became.

Dain looked at Myra like he didn’t believe her and his hands twiched at his sides like he wanted to read her for sure. Myra seemed to notice his subtle tell and glanced to me before a blankness washed over her features.

“ I need to talk to my sister alone. “ she demanded. I could tell she saw my protest on my face before I even started to speak. She gave me a look that begged for trust.

“ I’ll step outside .” Dain said and turned tail and exited . I felt a strange sort of magic fall around me… I felt it once before. It was like a wall of air that made my ears pop, I felt it monsuratte when she begged me to get Violet out of there.

“What did you do? I can feel your magic” my shadows curled below my skin in an unhappy pulling sensation I didn’t like one bit.

“ I can build different types of wards… this one is my best kept secret, it a sound ward, no one can hear what we say inside this bubble.” She admitted.

“In monsuratte, you used it then too.” I said, questioning her.
“I couldn’t let the other riders know how much she means to me, to let the, hear that kind of fear in my voice. “ she admitted she took a shallow breath.

“I can also feel wards and other types of magical bonds…. It’s how I can find weaknesses and rebuild them, something about you feels off… I’ve sinced it with the other marked ones, but it’s exceptionally strong with you… and now I feel it on her too.”

“Your signate is picking up dragon magic. It’s like our signals but different, our relics are burned into our flesh from malgreen’s dragon. “ not wanting to give too much in the game is trusts.

“Violets, not a marked one.” She gritted her teeth.

“No she’s not, but we have bonded dragons… and like it or not, we’re together … so you would pickup me , within her,” I fumbled. Her eyes narrowed on me.

“Look, I don’t trust you, but you did obey me when I needed you. I requested you for my squad, do not make me regret it, tell her goodbye, we need to move out…quickly. Colonel Aetos has just been made commander of basgiath which tells me there is far more things going on that you or I know…if I don’t get you out now, you might not leave here… marked ones were never intended to graduate.” She finished

“I’m not the only marked one graduating…” I fought hard to organize my thoughts.

“I know, I’ve done what I can making sure to places as many of you as I can with units that won’t kill on site … it’s all I can offer. Aetos is gunning for you, more than any other and I doubt it has to with this pissing match you have with Dain. But you know he won’t hesitate to use anything he can to put you in the brig.” And that I understood, narrvarrian might play the field , but an engagement was serious and within the ranks held many pitfalls for code of conduct. I felt her magic fal from around us, Violet was still unconscious and would be for a few days more Nolan had said to give her body every chance to heal. I swallowed the continent sized lump in my throat at having to leave her without saying goodbye. I reached into her mind as I watched her eyes dance in her dreams before me and told her everything, but before I could leave , she needed something to know I haven’t left her. It would cost me greatly if it turns out I should have never trusted Myra, but Violet couldn’t wake up alone. I cloaked myself in shadows and summoned my elemental magic. I kept hidden as I made a bouquet of fresh poppies. I dropped my shadows and placed them in a jar with a sticking spell that hopefully would keep Dain from throwing them way. I sent a shadow message to Bodhi about my departure, another trick I kept hidden. And faced Myra. Before she could ask I gave her a plausible explanation that hopefully being offered freely ment she wouldn’t question too much.

“I can weld my shadows pretty far and I’ve mastered using them like a lasso .”
I said puffing out my chest with conviction
“Ok cowboy.” Myra said with a smirk that I’m sure ment trouble.

Chapter Text

I was groggy and disoriented when I turned but for the first time in I didn’t know how long my spine didn’t blind me with pain taking me back into oblivion.

I slowly gathered myself and finally opened my eyes, I gasped sending a bullet of pain though my body.

Colonial Aetos? I questioned why Dain dad would be holding a bedside Vigil and I tried to glance around the room for Xaden without him noticing.

“He’s not here lovie.” He said in his always caring demeanor, but the look in his eyes was hollow, had they always been hollow or is this new?

“It’s also Commandant .” He chided.
“Commandant Ateos…” I said as I tried to figure out what was going on.

“Xaden…” I reachout to him inside my head and felt a rush of his shadows almost overwhelming me and felt his love and relief but his words were lost even in my head as commandant Ateos continued unaware that I’d reach out to Xaden.

“Things are going to change … as of today… Riorson May be able to fool malgreen and your mother but not me, I know the man who raised him… I know Fen never raised him to kneel… I don’t know how you managed to trick my son, or the generals but I will find out what you're hiding and make no mistake about it. “ he grabbed my arm and jerked up my sleeve and my whole body writhed with pain. But my relic didn’t shine below the concealer that Nolan must have applied.

“I know malgreen can’t see the marked ones… I’m surprised your unmarked I would have expected him to mark you to keep you hidden.” The edge of his smile turned up further into something sinister.

“Violet….I don’t know what’s going on but I can tell your scared… Bodhi is on his way, he's coming as fast as he can….. “ I hear Xaden screaming inside my head and I could tell just how far away he was. Confusing me.
“I’m with Mira unit, graduation was 4 days ago.” He rushes to explain as a the commandant continues.

“I’m going to tell you right now Violet, you need to make a choice… riorson is too powerful to live long being a traders son, and bound to him you're even more of dangerous as a pair. You need to fight for narrivare … and you need to keep your allegiance clear to keep your life. I know you're not fully committed to my son, but if you want to live you will be the key to breaking Riorsons rebellion before he even gets it off the ground .

I feel xadens shadows swirls around me and as the comandate continues his words take on a burning feeling over me…. He grabbed my wrist and I felt something strange as he spoke “ Violet sorrengail… you are to fully give yourself to my son as not only his lover, but his cadet. You are to sever any contact with riorson , you are mine to control…” he finished speaking and I feel Xaden slipping away even inside my head…

“Coercion… his signat is coercion Violet….” Xaden say’s dumbfounded. I feel him adding more and more shadows to our bridge like how we practice to trick Dian… to keep his coercion from sticking. I have enough of my own shadows to try and fight his power even as I felt his command burn into my wrist…. I screamed and yanked my arm from his grip and found a branded rune on my wrist and heard Tairn and Adriana roar in my head. The brand is getting darker and he fills more and more power into not just his signate but also the dark magic of the brand on my skin.

“Silver one, use the shadows to fight the spell, but you have to make him believe.” Says Tairn his usual snark is traded for genuine fear. I feel him adding his full depth of power behind me.

I channel everything into into the brand… I feel Xaden power flowing through me as well as Tarim and Adriana ….and even Sgyael…. I screamed in pain that I didn’t feel anymore clawing at my wrist as the dead skin around the brand began to sluff off.

The commandant chucked pleased with his work on me. “ You're my bitch now, little sorrengail… rest now, but come morning you're working for me. I own you, and your powers now you are my pawn to weild how I want… and you are not to tell anyone about our little … deal shall we call it to anyone including my son... “ he rose to his feet and glided out the room. As soon as he was out of sight Bodhi's arms wrapped around me in a safe feeling embrace , though I didn’t know him super well. He was Xadens family and I knew I was safe with him. I sobbed as I let go of my wrist and he cursed at the bloodied mess as he fully emerged from his hiding spot. Bodhi's signate allowed him to walk through walls and basically allowed him to become invisible by some strange magic he called shadowwalking .

“My love…” I hear Xaden.
“Xaden….” I scream In my head for him and I shake so bad Bohdi grips me tighter straining his muscles.
“Violence…” Xaden soothes even from god knows how far away.
“Violence, can you feel any piece of his coercion ?” He asks gently.
“I know it’s there I can feel it trying to take hold but it’s not strong… I can force it out… but I don’t know for how long…” I cried and turned my head into Bohdis chests before recoiling from him, he and Xaden share a similar build but he’s stockier, with a gentle face, and warm smile…. It’s easy to feel safe in his arms , but he's not who I want to wrap around.
“Violet” Xaden says in my mind in unison with Bohdi at my side.
“He cares about your because you’re family through our bond, you can trust him my love. “ Xaden says in my mind As Bohdi says to me.
“I know you need him, Violet. But I promised him when he was forced to leave I would keep you safe…. And just so you won’t ask… he didn’t order me or even ask me too… I know you can fry this whole college if you want to… I’m not your body guard… but my hugs are yours when you need someone close little cousin.” I nodded but didn’t move closer . Nolan entered the room a few minutes later and cleared me to my room and Bohdi walked with me through the mostly empty halls. Tomorrow a new group would walk the parapet… Slone…. Went through my mind, my promise to Liam that’s what I needed to focus on… then figuring out how survive my second year here… without Xaden.

Chapter Text

I always knew that surviving Basgiath wasn’t easy… but it’s gotten harder than I could have possibly imagined . Thanks to colonel Ateos position as commander of the college I have been banned from seeing Xaden, if either of us leave our positions we can be charged with treason. I can’t reveal that Adriana is now fully grown without endangering her or other feather tails in the vale… and Separation weekens Tarin and Sgyael not that the colonel cares. Tarin will sometimes fly off to meet with Sgyael at xadens outpost and sometimes they’ve managed to meet halfway but it’s not enough. The only thing keeping me sane our ability to speek mind to mind, but even that is hampered by differences in our schedules. For weeks now a growing fear had been nawing at the colonel hasn’t made good on any specific threats to uses his power over me. Dain still believes in our engagement and avoiding his advances is getting harder and harder. I have tried to explain the coercion I’m under to my friends Rihannon, Ridoc, sawyer, imogen, and even Sloan but it’s impossible to break the hold the magic has on me, they know somethings not right , and they know Dain isn’t who he claimed to be, Sloan knows much more of the truths than most as because she is Deaf I can sign to her and get closer to the truth before the Magic takes hold and steels my words.

I’m awoken late in the night after a particularly grueling day to Dain ripping me out of bed to drag me down to the cells beneath the college into an interrogation room. Inside is colonel Ateos and slone who is bound and gagged into a chair. One of my runed daggers rested on the table between them. I have no idea how that blade is there or why but it’s position in this room concern me. I reached out to Xaden

“Xaden…somethings is very very wrong…” I say into his head, but he’s distant, he must be on a mission and needing to focus.

“Sit, sorengill.” The commandant coos.

My body follows the command before I can react. He picks up the blade and traces a finger along the runes.

“Runes… have strange powers…” he says as if he’s talking to himself. Dain behind me goes pale.

“Dad… that’s…” he looks down at me and shuts his mouth. I know he knows that’s my blade.

He takes the blade and palms it and traces the edges of Slones rebellion relic on her bound for arm… the pressure light enough to cause goosebumps to erupt over her skin. Dain beside me stumbles into a chair, he may be part of this, but it’s clear he didn’t know what he was apart of.

“Your loyalty to Navarre it’s crucial to our efforts to win this war. Any trader among us threatenes us… wouldn’t you agree…” he asks and I nod as if he’s holding the back of my head and forcing it down.

“Violet …what’s going on…” I here Xaden in my head. I try to call my shadows so he can since what’s going on but I can’t reach for them… Damn it. This cell is made with bloodstone walls… it blocks channeled magic.

“Xaden… the commander has slone bound and gagged in one of the cells… he had Dain drag me out of bed and has one of my Blades with him and he’s talking about the runes in the handle.” I spill as fast as I can, not wanting to miss anything the colonel is saying in fear he realizes I can speak to Xaden.

But he’s gone… I can’t feel him inside my mind anymore.
“Tarim…!” I scream to him.
“Working on it silver one.” His rage is white hot.

The commander flips the blade in his hand so that he can hand me the Blade. I take it in my hand even though I tell myself not to.

He then smiles and it’s warm, but his eyes are dark.

“Violet… cadet Marini is hiding information about the truth about this blade I need you to make her talk…”

I see the blade in my hand and see it aimed at my friend and the horror in her eyes… my promise to Liam burns inside my heart at his command to torcher her… I refuse with everything in my being and find my blade in my own thigh.

He commands again… slone cries, Dain screams … I here Tairn roar. Another stab this time deeper in my own thigh. Something hits me then…the bloodstone… channeled magic…. The commandant signat isn’t coercion …

I look at him his neck is exposed… no red veins but I look at his eyes , he pupils are rimmed in red. As I stab my leg again.

By the time I lose consciousness I have no idea how many times I’ve stabbed myself to keep from stabbing Slone but I can’t regret any of this pain.

I don’t know how long I’m bleeding out but I wake enough to hear the sounds of multiple dragons roar… feel the heat from their fire.

I feel large thick hands on me that are gentle and familiar, but they feel all wrong… Dain. I try to move, to get out of his grip but then I hear him

“My love..” I hear softly and feel warm hands pull me tight to them.

“Xaden…” I choke out.
“Your safe… it’s safe here…” he says like he needs to reassure me but If he’s holding me I’m safe no matter where here is.

“Thank you.” Xaden says to Dain.
“Riorson… “ Dain voice is week and high pitched in a way I’ve never heard before.

“Keep her safe.” Dain says softly.
“You saw her mark, you understand what it means.” It’s not a question Xaden answers. I lose consionsious again.

It’s night outside the window is the first clear thing I see when my eyes open again… a hand is threaded though mine and the pillow I rest on breaths…“You we’re too week with blood loss to make it all the way to Atetia , we’re at safe house no far from charkir deep in the mountains “ he said. “Myra’s here… so is Bohdi.”

I loose it and cry into him and soothes me for unknown how long. I finaly collect a small myself. I’m still in a lot of pain, but I don’t feel as much as I should.

“How was i mended…” I asked.
“Dain…. He broght you to Nolan, he mended you as fast as he could to stop the major injuries…. He risked his life to defy his fathers order to save you…he said painfully “ I should have been there…. Got to you sooner…” he began to break.

“ No Xaden, do not blame yourself.” I sat up noticed that I was still sore, the addrerlin must still be keeping the pain at bay. I’m still covered in my own blood. Xadens eyes follow my own and he sucks in a painful breath.

“ there’s no shower here, but there is a deep tub. And plenty of hot water. “. Within a few minutes Xaden has commanded a few soldiers I don’t recognize to fill the large tub with buckets steaming of water I’m sure warmed by dragon fire from the chair at my side without ever letting go of my hand. When we’re alone I pull back the cover. I see my mangled leg for the first time and I almost gag. Xaden pulls me deep into his chest till the feeling lessons and he lifts me and take me into the chamber adjacent to the bedroom we are in. There is a small stool that Xaden set me on as he helps me fully undress before placing me in the tub. The heat is luxurious and stings my injuries simultaneously. I feel calloused fingers moving though my hair to unbound it. I reach to help him and feel a soft press of lips on my temple.
“Let me.” He says on my skin. I tilt my head into his kiss and let myself go numb to every beyond his touch.

He finished unbraiding my hair and finger combed though the knots, mummering soothing words that I’m beyond comprehending beyond the soothing comfort of his deep baritone. He tries to lift water in his hands to wet my hair but I sink down deep into the water holding a deep breath I feel Xaden reach for me seconds before I breach the surface with a trembling hand consern lacing his features before I stettled my head down on the edge of the tub. He reached for something and after his hands begin to float over my limbs i smell the minty and something else scent fill my senses with something close to peace despite everything. When the water starts to grow cold I feel him plunge his arms into the tub to lift me. He stuggles to try and dry me in his arms before setting me down, slightly surprised I was able to stand he quickly drys me off and puts a soft tunic over my head. It falls to halfway down my thighs.

“ there wasn't time to pack anything.” He softly admonishes himself. I notice then that he’s shirtless. It’s not the frist time I’ve worn one of the soft tunics he wears under his leathers. I have one back at Basgaith that I sleep in most nights.

I take a small step and my leg twinges in pain enough for Xaden to see on my face and him pick me up and carry me to the bed. My eyes fall closed on the short walk unwittingly. He places me on the bed that’s little more than a cot. He goes to leave the room but I grab his writs before he can get far.

“I’m not leaving, I’m just letting Bohdi know we’re going to sleep and to keep up watch shifts. “ he says and kisses my temple. A few minutes later I feel him snuggle in behind me. The bed is too small to be truly comfortable for two people , or even just one person Xadens size. But he wraps around me interlocking our legs my head finds a soft spot between his sholder and chest and fall asleep.

Chapter Text

I sleep but not long, I’ve slept the better part of the day healing and now am restless. I’m tangled in all of Xadens' long and heavy limbs as he breathes deep in sleep. He told me once he hasn’t slept well since the rebellion and he looks so peaceful right now I don’t have the heart to wake him. I have one hand free and push back his tangled mop of curls away from his forehead. I noticed that in sleep the stark worry lines between his eyebrows are softened, though not completely removed. My fingers trace along the scar that bisects his eyebrow. I wonder if when it happened if he was upset it messed with his pretty boy features. I hear Sgaeyl inside my head chuckle and get the impression that she thought his ego needed that kind of adjustment without even hearing her words. I try to fall back to sleep safe in his arms but it’s futile. I wonder how far dawn but can’t see the the windows in this room, is then I noticed his pocket watch on the small table beside the cot we share. I reach for it and he stirs but still sleeps. I flip it open and notice it’s also a compass with an inscription in runes on it. It’s old and heavy and a bit unusual that even with so much chaos he always seems to have this on him. It’s unusable because riders normally don’t have nice things other than the weapons we carry regularly, we are trained to use time, stars, compass anything to know our positions in the sky but the flight watches we all have as a part of our gear are simply functional, this is beautifully made.

“It’s a few generations old…” Xaden says… almost startling me as I didn’t know he was watching me admire his watch. “dad told me when he gave it to me it was my grandfathers, Sygael former rider… his grandfather who raised him after his father died in the quadrant gave it to him the day he entered the riders quadrant, how it never got burned when he died I don’t know but my father said to me when he gave it to me, that it can’t be burned as his if he gives it to me before his death….” Xadens voice shakes and he finishes inside my head as if saying the words out loud were still too hard. “ he gave it to me night before he flew out for his final battle… like he knew…. The runes say in Tyrrish “time is never lost, when your feel at home” he finishes. “ It’s a old Tyrrish saying, in old trryrish home, and love are often interchangeable … because it’s believed that your home is where you are loved or what you love, not a building with four walls and a roof” . He concluded

“I didn’t mean to wake you…” I said and he kissed my forehead .
“Dawns not far off, we should be getting up soon.” He said and stretched like a cat.

A short time we’re in the small kitchen of the safe house , Mira is sitting on a well warn table sipping a coffee, Dain is sleeping on a sofa a few foot too short him to stretch out on. The others are all on watch as I sit down at the table Xaden brings me a chipped cup of coffee. Dain wakes up and see me and bows his head almost to his knees. He looks completely different, defeated. Xaden take the coffee that he clearly poured for himself and hands it to Dain. He just stairs at it.

“Poisons aren’t my style, that’s violets.” He tries to chuckle but it sounds mirthless.

“Can’t you see he’s broken, don’t bait him.” I say inside his head.
“I’m trying.” He huffs and raked his hands though his hair and goes to poor more coffee. Dain finally takes a sip of the coffee and after a few more sips he finally speaks when Mira slips out of the room and Xaden appears to occupy himself making rations for breakfast.

“I didn’t know.” He said. Like his whole world has crumbled.

“Didn’t know what.” I ask not sure how to absorb his sudden transformation.

“Any of it… the veine, my dads signat, your mothers lies, your bond…with him.” He says and he finally sits up fully and looks at me.

“I’m sorry Violet. I know it doesn’t sound like much in the face of everything I’ve done, stealing your secrets, doubting you, betraying you. I won’t make excuses for what I’ve done, and I won’t make promises to you, but I can explain a few things , and at least offer to help if you accept it. “ he says and I can tell he’s being genuine dispite Xaden almost choking on his coffee at my back.

“What do you know. “ I ask carefully. Xaden hands me a small plate to food and sits moving his chair so even in my chair I’m seated between his knees in a clear display of ownership.

“Knock it off…he’s trying “ I say inside the bond.
“I trust you, it’s him I don’t trust … and I haven’t touched you in like 5 minutes…” he says with a purr as he innocently tried to eat his breakfast without smiling.

“My power is a lot stronger now than when I first started wielding. Not only can I go back farther , but I can get it though just about any touch or even if someone is very open just close proximity. I can’t always control what I see in a persons head…. But in thouse I’m close with its a lot Easier to weild. At first I thought my father kept my signate a secret because it’s dangerously close to a intrinsic , but then I realized he wanted to use me. Wanting me to get information on the marked ones… you in mostly” he nods towards Xaden. “ i always thought my father was happy with his position… he told me he didn’t want advanment if it meant missing more of my childhood… it’s always just been the two of us, my mother died in childbirth. I knew about your father and what were taught he did so I didn’t really think anything of it, and I was happy to believe you were nothing more than a trader especially when I saw you falling in love with Violet, making me jealous and wanting to beat you at all costs. I didn’t understand what he was doing with the information until the war games and he sent you beyond the wards, when I read he in the field I could tell her memories were altered and shielded, I understood something was happening and thought the worst of him. I never wanted to see that maybe I was the villain in this story. Then when my father had you questioned I knew I was wrong. When I carried you to Nolan I found your memories… left you with Nolan to confront my father …” he lifted his shirt and I didn’t understand till I saw the still healing welt that will leave a scar just above his heart. “ thankfully my father can’t aim as well as you can vi.” He tried to laugh but it came out broken. I shot a look to Xaden….

“Not now…. Violet… he’s still comming around to the truth….Only say what you know for sure..”

“ I confronted him with the lies … I thought he would … I don’t know what I thought anymore …” he sunk his hands into his hair and tugged at the roots. “Violet… my father … he has powers he shouldn’t…. I’m not sure he’s truely my father anymore or if the power has crupted him completely…” he finished and crumbled onto himself.

Xaden shocked me and moved infront of him and nelt down to his downturned head.

“Your father is a manipulative snake, who hides behind his reputation as truthful man. Betraying thoughs you care about is a family tridition for you. “ Xaden say though his orders are curel and harsh his voice has no bite. Dain only nods. “ you have to choice to make, do you believe the easy lie you’ve been told that makes your life easy, or do you believe the ugly truth. “ Xaden stands and offers Dain his hand to help him stand.

Dain weekly takes his hand and stands he doesn’t say anything we both understand that he’s still processing .

“We fly out soon, pack and get your shit together because if you can’t swallow your greif it will get you killed. '' Dain met his eyes and nodded and looked to where his flight pack was before looking back at me, a look that did not go unnoticed by Xaden.
“And looking at my fireheart like that will get you killed even faster.” He added as shadows spilled around his knuckles, not engaging but there should he will them to.

Dain just nodded, throwing his pack over his shoulder, slammed his feet into his boots and left out the front door without a word.