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BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
Guillermo wakes up in a shock, startled and wrestling with the bedsheets. It takes him a second to fumble for his glasses and then another to find his phone and check the time. 3:36 pm, the middle of the afternoon. Who the hell is knocking at this time of day? He also seems to have- 15 missed texts and 3 calls from his mom? What the-
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
Shit. He can deal with his mom in a sec, once he shoos away whoever is at the door before they wake anyone else up.
Still feeling a little rattled and sleep-fuzzy, he bundles himself in his robe and pulls back the curtain blocking off his little room. He only stumbles once as he crosses the foyer, almost warm with the midday light suffusing through the paper. He’s happy the crew isn’t here to witness his lack of grace.
BLAM! BLA-
The knock is cut off when Guillermo swings open the door, and the knocker looks almost as surprised as he is.
“Lili? What are you doing here? How did you even find-”
“Oh thank God, Memo. Tía Sylvia said she was trying to reach you, and you were the only person- Here, hold this.” Guillermo splutters as his cousin Liliana shoves a giant duffel bag at him. It’s so unwieldy he struggles to find the strap and slip it over his shoulder.
“What is going on?”
“Well, if you checked your phone like a normal person, you would know.” She clucks her tongue in disapproval. “Still in your pj’s so late in the afternoon? Dormilón!” Her hands empty of the bag, she turns to pick up what he hadn’t even noticed. Her baby in a big car seat carrier. He barely even remembered she had a kid. Maria? Marta, maybe?
“Isabella needs to stay with you for a little bit. Couple of days, maybe a week.”
“What? No, no. No. A baby can’t stay here! It’s not safe,” he caught himself, “cause of- you know, the construction.”
“Memo, no offense, but do you think I’d be coming to you if I had literally any other choice? Kass is supposed to be eloping to fucking Brazil with that fucking guy she met six fucking months ago, but apparently he never showed up at the church, and it’s a whole thing, and I need to go get her.” Guillermo was starting to panic. Was it safe to swear that much around a baby? “And your mom is out of town and literally everyone else would take me half a day to drive to. I’m heading to the airport in- fuck, my flight leaves in like three hours. I don’t have time for anyone else.”
She shoves the carrier into his hands and it’s either catch it or let a baby hit the ground.
His hands are so full of the precious cargo that he’s shocked when she grabs him by the shoulders, pulling his face close to hers.
“You can do this, Memo. Remember that blood pact we made when we were thirteen? This is my moment of need. Your mom said you can call her if you need help. And I learned like 90% of what I know from Google. I trusted you with my teenage secrets, I can trust you with my daughter.”
And then she is gone, already running down the porch stairs.
“Wait, Lili, what about… y’know… milk?” He feels awkward even saying it let alone shouting after her.
“She eats normal food! It’s gonna be ok!” Her car door slams and she’s peeling off. Unsure of what else to do, Guillermo manages to shoulder the door open and slip back inside the house, kicking it closed behind him.
He takes a second to breathe, getting the first chance to look down at his… what is she? Is she something removed? Second cousins? Or is it third? Fuck, that is not what is important. Right now, ‘niece’ is good enough. He looks down at the face of his niece who had managed to sleep through all of that drama.
His heart softens a little. She looks so sweet, so peaceful. Maybe he can do this. He watches as she begins to blink softly, waking up and looking up at him. She takes a breath…
And begins to wail.
“Well, shit.”
—
At least he can say he wasn’t lying when he told the crew they’d want to get there early tonight. This was probably going to be interesting fodder for the documentary. It was just a bonus that he had someone to watch Isabella, even briefly.
He wants to make sure his hands are free when he breaks the news to the others.
Unsurprisingly, Colin wakes up first, toddling into the fancy room and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He’s been sleeping through the day pretty well, once they got him involved in all those activities, but he often wakes up before the sun goes down. Guillermo doesn’t mind, it gives them some time together. The little guy is sweet, and it’s kinda nice to have someone to talk about musicals with.
He looks around curiously, as if he can recognize the tension in the room. Maybe he can? Who knows with an energy vampire? Either way, it doesn’t take long at all for him to notice the newcomer, cradled in the director Ana’s arms.
“A BABY?” The entire room full of people shushes the poor kid at once. He doesn’t deserve it, but also Isabella had only quieted 5 minutes ago.
“Yes, buddy.” Guillermo whispers, rushing over to him to soothe the shock. “She’s going to be staying with us for a little bit.”
As weird as the grown face of Colin Robinson on this small body is, his eyes still reflect all the pure innocence and delight of a child.
“Do you wanna meet her?”
“Uh-huh.” Thankfully Colin catches the vibe of the room and whispers to match.
“Ok, but we have to be very quiet, because babies need a lot of sleep.” Practically tip-toeing, Guillermo leads Colin across the room to take a closer look. “This is Isabella.” Ever so carefully, Colin reaches a hand out, tracing a finger over Isabella’s even tinier hands.
“Guess what?” He doesn’t even look up to ask, entranced by the sight in front of him.
“What, bud?”
“There are lots of musicals with babies in it, did you know? Did her mama die, like in Into the Woods?”
“What? No!” Guillermo tries to keep his shock at a whisper. “No, no, my cousin just had to go away for a little bit, but she’ll be back soon.”
Colin peeks up at Guillermo, a look of almost patronizing disbelief on his face. “Okay.” He shrugs. “And giants aren’t real.”
Guillermo is stumped. “Ok, how about we let her sleep and go find Laszlo?”
Throwing an appreciative look at Ana, Guillermo leads Colin out of the room. The second the door shuts behind them, Colin is back at full volume.
“Uncle Memo, guess what?” Not wanting to shush him again, Guillermo leads Colin further into the foyer and away from the door.
“What?”
“If Isabella is going to be my new baby sister, I can teach her to sing and dance. If you get us…” he pauses to count briefly on his fingers, “five more siblings we can be just like in Sound of Music. We can all sing and dance together while you and Lazzo have a dinner party.”
“The only parties I host would be highly inappropriate for you to attend, boy.”
Fuck, Guillermo thinks, as Laszlo’s voice booms through the foyer. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He’d thought he at least had a few more minutes to think about what he was going to tell the vampires.
“And what’s this about a sibling? That stage is only big enough for one!”
“No, no! Uncle Memo has a baby! She’s so tiny you wouldn’t believe, and when people look at her, sometimes they feel real weir-”
“Gizmo had a baby?” Now Nadja is here too, staring at him angrily as Laszlo wraps an arm around her waist. “I didn’t think you had the right bits for that! Have you been hiding something from me all this time? Or did you ask the witches to switch your bits around? I know it can be quite thrilling-”
“NO! No, I didn’t have a baby and I don’t have those- bits, Nadja. She’s my-”
“Ah-hah! A child born on the wrong side of the blanket? I had many such dalliances in my day. I just didn’t think you had it in you, lad!” Laszlo looks strangely proud, which makes the whole thing somehow worse.
“No, darling, Guillermo had it in someone else!” Nadja cackles at her own joke, and shit, their voices were enough to wake Nandor, who comes floating out of his crypt, hair a tangled mess and still in his coffin clothes. Through his sleepy confusion he looks hurt, almost?
“Who has had Guillermo inside of them?”
“Your familiar has been spreading his semens among the women of Staten Island and has created a new pathetic little human!”
“STOP!” He shouts over the crosstalk. Somehow, someone is on his side as they all fall quiet, looking at him reproachfully. “Isabella is not mine, as in, I had no role in making her. She’s my cousin's baby. But she IS mine, as in, if you touch her I will kill you.”
Tremulously, Colin speaks up, "But- but I-"
Guillermo’s voice softens immediately, "Colin, buddy, if I am in the room AND give you explicit permission you are allowed to touch her. Both of which you had.” He turns to glare at the others, Laszlo most of all. “But if anyone does anything to harm her in any way…” He lets the threat trickle off, their imaginations filling in the most frightening option.
The suspense is broken somewhat when the door to the fancy room flies open, and Ana comes marching between them all, baby in hand. The vampires all immediately shy away, and it only takes a moment longer before Guillermo can smell it too.
“I can hold a baby, but I draw the line at diaper duty. Your baby, your problem, man.” Ana deposits Isabella in Guillermo’s arms and stomps away.
“Colin, buddy, would you grab me the-” It takes a second for Guillermo to realize the foyer is empty, except for him and a very stinky baby.
—
Isabella may be able to eat grown-up food, but Guillermo has a feeling instant ramen for days on end is probably not ideal. Obviously he is not leaving his niece alone with the vampires, so after managing to lock her carseat into the back of the car, he heads off for a late-night trip to the Walmart Supercenter. He’d dug through the bag Lili had packed, and while it was massive, she may be overestimating the safety of the house, and he wants to pick up some other stuff too.
Getting out of the car is its own trial, as is getting Isa arranged in the little top of the shopping cart. She keeps trying to grab at his glasses every time he is within reaching distance, so he pulls one of the little cracker things out of the giant baby bag, hoping it can entertain her for him to get in and out.
He’s in the fruit section, worrying if granny smith apples would be too sour for a baby when he hears a shrill voice behind him.
“Hiya neighbor!” He turns to see Charmaine rolling up to him, wrapped in a leopard print jacket, smacking gum between her teeth. “Don’t see you here too often! Figured you were a Costco gang.”
“Oh, yeah, we uh-” he hesitates, worried of getting caught in another lie. “We get a lot of our food delivered. I’m just-” He steps a little to the side, and Charmaine’s eyes absolutely light up when she sees Isabella.
“Where did this little angel come from?” Without even pausing to ask, Charmaine swoops into Guillermo’s space, pinching at Isa’s cheek. Guillermo has to fight off a twitch in his stake hand. Luckily Isa doesn’t seem to mind, babbling up at Charmaine, waving the cracker. Apparently it was just a distraction, because her other hand is grabbing a fistful of Charmaine’s curly hair and tugging as hard as she can.
“Oh shi- my gosh, she’s a fighter!” Charmaine says between gritted teeth. “Just like her dada!” Guillermo’s confused enough that he doesn’t respond until she manages to unwind Isabella’s hand and step out of range. “Or well- who’s dada and who’s papa? Or do you use different names? ”
Guillermo has literally no idea what on earth she could mean. “Sorry, what?”
“Isn’t she yours and Nandor’s? It’s sweet that you two adopted. A little playmate for Laszlo’s nephew?”
“A-adopted?”
“Or did you get a surrogate? She does look just like you!”
“NO!” His voice breaks with the speed that squeaks out. “She’s not ours- mine. She’s- my cousin had an emergency so I’m watching her.”
“Oh, that’s so sweet of you! And a little practice never hurts!” Her wink is frustratingly unsubtle.
“Yeah, I guess.” Guillermo mutters faintly, trying to figure what could ever make Charmaine think he and Nandor were- were anything enough to have a baby together. He can’t even imagine Nandor with a baby, the image incongruous in his head. He loses himself a little imagining Isa’s tiny fingers wrapped around one of Nandor’s giant ones.
Unfortunately his reverie must have been obvious, as Charmaine speaks again, kindly this time. “Do you want a hand with your shopping? Surprise baby, I’m sure it’s tricky to figure out what you need.” Guillermo chews on the inside of his cheek, wondering. He looks down at Isa for an answer, but she just waves the cracker at him, soggy round the edges where she has been gnawing at it.
He hates to admit defeat, but Charmaine’s help would probably get them out of the store faster than him stopping to check reddit for every purchase.
“Yeah, that’d be great, actually.”
—
He arrives home not too long later, loaded down with enough food for a month. But at least he might eat something fresh for once, so it’s not all bad. His conversations with Charmaine about his plans for Isa’s safety in ‘that old drafty house’ had prompted her to make some emergency calls, and by the time he brings the last of the groceries in to the kitchen, there are a number of pieces of hand-me down baby furniture sitting in the foyer. He hopes Sean brought it all in and he didn’t get any of Charmaine’s kindly relatives eaten. He shrugs, either way, there’s not much he can do now.
It’s barely 9 pm, but Guillermo’s flagging already, and Isabella clearly is, half asleep in his arms as he attempts to put everything in the fridge.
He carries her to go survey everything that had been left for him. There’s supposed to be a crib in there.
There is, but it is going to need some assembly. And shit, with the car seat buckled into the car, there is literally nowhere safe for her other than his arms.
“Looks like we’ll be making a few trips, chiquita.” With a heavy sigh, Guillermo picks up the first piece of the crib and heads upstairs. The Blue Room will have to do as a nursery. At least it has a door and a place for him to stay close. As long as the cabinet doors stay firmly closed there shouldn’t be anything inappropriate for a baby.
He is on his third trip up the stairs, feet dragging worse than ever, when he almost bumps into Nandor on the landing.
“Guillermo,” he begins peevishly, and Guillermo’s hackles immediately go up, “when will you be finished with all this thumping and puffing? Do you expect to complete any of your other duties?”
“Nandor-” Guillermo cuts himself off, not wanting to start a fight when he needs as much goodwill as possible till Isa is gone. “I will be done when I’m done. I need to put a crib together so I can put Isabella down to sleep. I’m not getting anything else done till then.”
Nandor continues looking at him, inscrutable, until Guillermo gives up and continues trudging past him. He can’t hold back a final rejoinder, muttering to himself.
“Would go faster if I had some help.”
“Yes, alright.” Guillermo turns to look at Nandor, shocked and confused. “I will help you and then you will continue with your tasks.”
“Uhhh, yeah? Sure?” This is stunningly nice from Nandor. Even more shocking is Nandor sweeping past him, plucking the furniture from his hand and depositing it inside the Blue Room.
“You si- stay out of my way, and I will bring the remaining bit and bob.”
Guillermo isn’t going to fight with him, and sits down on the bed heavily, switching Isabella to the other hip, stretching out his tired arm.
It isn’t a moment before there is a loud crash in the hallway and Guillermo is back on his feet to find Nandor carrying what looks like all the furniture from the foyer in a single load, arms piled comedically high. His pinkie is looped through the back of the rocking chair, holding the whole thing with one finger.
He’s bearing the load with no effort, but it obviously can’t all fit through the door.
“Nandor- be careful.”
“No, no, I have it, do not worry.”
“You’re gonna break-”
He comes crashing through the door, and Guillermo squeezes his eyes closed, covering Isa’s with a hand, terrified of a broken-wood accident he can do nothing to prevent.
Nandor’s proud ‘ha-ha’ has him brave enough to open them, and he feels his heart melt a little bit at the broad smile that greets him.
“Now the little one can sleep, yes? And you can return to work?”
“Well, we still have to put the crib together.” Guillermo moves towards the haphazard pile of furniture on the floor, looking for the final pieces of the crib to go with the ones he had leaned carefully along the wall.
“I will complete this task. I am sure your weak human arms are tiring of clutching the child.”
“Oh-ok?” Guillermo’s not sure what has gotten into Nandor, but the last thing he is going to do is fight him. He sits back on the bed, watching closely. Nandor does much better than Guillermo would ever have expected, even with the fiddly screws. Who would have ever guessed Nandor was such a deft hand with an Allen key?
By the time Guillermo sleepily blinks, the crib is together, the mattress is even in place. He drags himself to his feet, moving as carefully as he can to not disturb Isa asleep in his arms. It looks as sturdy as it’ll ever be, and stands up to a pretty robust wobble when Guillermo shakes it.
“Do not harm the bed! Do you not trust my construction?” Nandor scowls at him.
“I trust you! I was just- just checking it. Looks good. Thank you, Nandor. I really appreciate it.” Guillermo’s too tired to keep the sincerity from his voice, and Nandor only scowls deeper at the display of emotion. “Give me like, five minutes to put Isa down and I’ll get back to it.”
Nandor nods once, brusque again, before sweeping from the room, cape whirling behind him. Guillermo can’t help but notice the way he closes the door, ever so softly.
Finally, Guillermo can cross the room and lay Isabella down in the crib, as carefully as he can. The bed looks so bare, but all his Google searches said no blankets yet, so he’ll trust the internet for now.
Just as exhausted, Guillermo sits on the edge of the bed to watch Isabella for a second, just to make sure she’s ok. He pulls his glasses off, rubbing at his eyes and the bridge of his nose. Maybe if he just lays down for a second? Nandor’s sure to come get him sooner rather than later…
—
Shockingly, Nandor had not gotten Guillermo, and he wakes up late in the day to Isabella babbling to herself. The rest of the day goes shockingly smoothly. It turns out that caring for three temperamental vampires is not all that much different to caring for a human child. Leaving Isa on a blanket with some toys is not that far off from settling Nandor on a couch with a book; he can clean just as well either way.
At least with Isa, they can eat together. Someday, maybe, he can’t help but think wistfully. Isa’s nap gives him time to shower, and he is feeling surprisingly human by the time sunset rolls around. He’s been doing a lot of googling during the day, and while apparently every day isn’t necessary, it is probably time to give her a bath.
Another task he has a surprising amount of practice with.
In fact, it’s as he’s running the water, wrist under the tap to check the temperature (much cooler than Nandor’s usual near-boiling), the vampire himself turns up.
“Guillermo, it seems very odd for you to run my bath before I am even awa-” Nandor stops as he hits the doorway to the bathroom. His bathroom, usually. Guillermo usually just showers on the first floor, and Laszlo and Nadja have their own en-suite, so this luxurious tub is usually reserved for Nandor alone.
“The child is still here?”
“I told you guys, she’ll be here for a couple of days. I’m not sure how long.”
“You most certainly did not say that. I would remember.” Guillermo huffs, as if Nandor remembers anything he says.
“Well, she is. And she needs to have a bath. I should have her to sleep within an hour, and then it can be your turn.” Not even really waiting for an answer, Guillermo turns back to the tub, stopping the water quickly before it gets too high. He’s so focused on getting Isa undressed and inside safely he doesn’t really pay much attention to Nandor.
That’s why it shocks him when Nandor grabs his wrist. His sleeves are rolled up in deference to the mess he is sure Isa will make, so he can really feel Nandor’s cool skin where it wraps around his arm.
“Here,” Nandor shoves something into his hand, “You may use my cup to help wash her. It will make things easier.” Guillermo looks down to find himself holding the jewel-encrusted goblet he usually uses to rinse Nandor’s hair. One hand still firmly around Isa’s shoulder (all the websites warned of looking away for even a second), Guillermo spares a glance up to Nandor’s face, surprisingly earnest.
Turning back to Isa gives Guillermo a chance to school his features. All this care on Nandor’s part is so shocking. “Thanks. I’m gonna let her play a little first. That’s what the internet says to do.” He gestures to the plastic boat he’d carefully placed in the water, which she is already reaching for.
Sitting back on his heels to let Isa splash, Guillermo is surprised to find Nandor doesn’t leave, but paces around to sit on the closed lid of the never-used toilet. How Nandor manages to look so regal in such ridiculous surroundings, he’ll never know.
“This is good. I remember my children liked to play in the water. The pools, the riverside, even ceremonial fountains, no regard for the protocols, simply splishy splashing.”
“Your-your children?” Guillermo knew there must have been children after the DNA test, but Nandor usually only talks about the violent parts of his past.
“Of course. I had 37 wives, children were largely the point! I had nearly 50 sons, and just as many daughters.” At this angle Guillermo can see Nandor’s face out of the corner of his eye as he watches Isa, and now he looks wistful, almost?
“I had many concerns, between the fighting and the ruling and the making more babies. But when I had time, I liked to visit the children’s quarters. We played a war game, all of them against me. As they grew, they became very clever. Once, a child curled up behind my knees to trip me, and although it took 20 of them to hold me down, they managed. We had a feast that nigh-” Nandor is cut short by the loud clatter of Isabella dropping the boat from as high as she can.
The moment is strange, taut with a tension between past and present, and Guillermo doesn’t fill the silence, not wanting to take this from Nandor.
Isabella has no such compunction and begins babbling to herself.
“Memo?” Guillermo starts, it’s odd to hear that nickname out of Nandor’s voice.
“What?”
“She calls for you, does she not? Memo?”
“Oh! No, I’m pretty sure she’s saying mamá. She probably misses her mom, don’t you, bella?” Guillermo reaches out to cradle her cheek and almost falls back from the strength of the smile she fixes him with.
“She seems happy enough with you.” Nandor turns to address Isa, voice impossibly soft. “You love him, your Memo, yes?”
“Tío Memo.” Guillermo almost whispers it, caught in the quiet warmth of the bathroom.
Nandor nods approvingly and repeats, accent curling around the words. “Tío Memo.”
—
That night with the bath had broken some barrier. All Nandor’s strange behavior had clearly indicated an interest in Isabella’s care, but now he seemed willing to show it. As surprisingly well as Guillermo had taken to baby care, it certainly didn’t hurt to have a dedicated co-parent. Especially one who barely needed to blink.
It was nothing like the way he tried to shore up the gaps with Laszlo and Colin Robinson, trying to keep their disagreements hidden. He and Nandor were in seemingly perfect sync, which was so odd. Usually they felt so against each other. Nandor leading and Guillermo following, Guillermo begging and Nandor refusing. For once, they were on the same side, working together, nearly hand-in-hand. It was so intimate, the way they curled around each other and the baby. Metaphorically, of course.
First, Nandor offers to read to Isa. He says it off-handedly, “so you can get some dusting done,” but as soon as Guillermo agrees, Nandor rushes through the door, scooping Isa up with glee and settling them both down on the couch. Guillermo isn’t sure where on earth Nandor has gotten a copy of Goodnight Moon from, but he can’t quite help the smile when he considers how topical it is.
That quickly rolls into Nandor’s insistence that they take Isabella for a walk so she could say goodnight to the moon properly. Guillermo will never turn down an excuse to get out of dusting, so off they go, Isa bundled up in her loaned stroller (Guillermo hadn’t heard any complaints from Charmaine, so presumably all her relatives survived their donations). The walk around the neighborhood in the brisk evening air is really lovely, especially with the background of Nandor pointing out various things that Isa can say goodnight to. He doesn’t seem to mind her babbling in response, carrying out a whole conversation between the two of them. It’s sweet enough that Guillermo can almost ignore the glint in Charmaine’s eye as she bustles down from her porch to say hello. And he even manages to keep his smirk to himself when Nandor nearly bites a finger off for daring to pinch Isa’s cheek.
The next night Nandor offers to read again, without even bothering to hide behind an excuse. He’s dragged a giant pile of furs from his crypt for the purpose, and he bundles himself and Isa up in front of the fire, a giant and adorable cocoon. Guillermo sits down on the couch to listen, and to his chagrin, manages to nod off himself, to the sounds of Nandor reminding Isa that she must eat well so that she can grow up to be a strong warrior like the butterfly in their book.
Guillermo only jerks awake hours later to the sounds of Laszlo and Nadja carousing into the house. The furs slide down from where they had been tucked around him and he’s barely on his feet before he can hear Nandor hissing at them to quiet for the baby. Whatever he says must work, because by the time he stumbles up to the Blue Room, all three vampires are gone and the house is silent again. He takes a moment to stare at Isa, placed carefully in her crib.
His mind whirls, trying to recalibrate this Nandor with the Nandor he’d known for the past thirteen years. He’d spent so long doing all the caring in the house, he never really expected it from any of the others. But Nandor is thriving like this, there is no doubt. It reminds Guillermo, strangely enough, of his cleaning binge pre-Gail. Of his conscientiousness with the council. Maybe he wants to care for someone, and just needs anyone to let him. What would it be like, Guillermo thinks, to be the one Nandor cares for? To be the one Nandor looks at with those soft eyes, holds gently, tucks in beneath heavy furs- He stops himself, shaking his head.
It all comes to a head the next day. Nandor has started staying up way too late into the day to spend more time with her. (“I have eternity to sleep, Guillermo, stop pestering.”) And Guillermo can’t think of a single reason to deny him, because each time Nandor turns to grin at him over Isa’s latest antics, he can’t remember the last time either of them has been so happy.
It’s so right, but also not. Whatever is going on is starting to slide out of the realm of their normal. He honestly has no idea what to call the feeling that makes his heart ache as he leans back against the kitchen counter to watch Nandor attempt to feed Isa lunch.
They are both covered in the meal by the time they are finished, but hey, at least SpaghettiOs are easier to wipe off than Nandor’s usual meals.
As helpful as Nandor is being, Guillermo still has a whole new stressor in his life. He’s exhausted in a fresh and different way. That must be what is getting to him, making him think crazy things.
Because when he finishes wiping Isa’s face and hands clean of the tomato sauce with the washcloth, when he kisses her on the forehead and he turns to do the same for Nandor, he has this flicker of a thought, like a movie in his head. What if he did all the same for a Nandor? Hands, cheeks, and this time- lips?
He has to stumble back for a second to stop himself going through with the crazed fantasy. This isn’t real life. Soon enough, Liliana will be home and Isabella will be gone, and he’ll go back to his life. To being a familiar/bodyguard and to- shit, Freddie. He’s barely talked to Freddie all week. And now he is back to fantasizing about Nandor the way he hasn’t in a very long- okay, in a while. This isn’t good. Not for him and not for Nandor, who is now… married? Speaking of, he feels like he hasn’t seen Marwa in forever. Whatever, not his problem. He needs to get some distance.
“Lunch is over, time for a walk.” He scoops Isa out of the high chair and heads for the front door.
“A walk? Now? I will not be able to join-”
“Babies need to be outside in the sunlight, Nandor. Vitamin D.” He buckles Isa into the stroller with a quickness that surprises even him and refuses to notice the forlorn look on Nandor’s face as he watches them leave from the safety of the kitchen door.
—
It hurts, to start pulling back from whatever they were building. But it has to be done. This isn’t their life, and Guillermo can’t let himself get used to this. The wedding is done, and Colin Robinson seems as well-adjusted as he will ever get. At the speed he’s growing, Guillermo isn’t even sure how much longer he’ll need them. It’s probably time to start thinking about that promise he made to himself when he broke out of that crate for the second fucking time. Take care of number one.
Once Isa was gone, he’d have to do something big. But for now it was as simple as avoiding Nandor. Easy enough to avoid a vampire in the day. All they need to do is leave the house. And if, while Isa naps quietly in the library, Guillermo miserably smacks the back of his own head against the wall he sits by, no one needs to know.
They sneak back into the house well before nightfall, Guillermo hoping that Isa’s insane schedule will allow him to get her to sleep before Nandor surfaces for the evening. He pads through the house, begging her to stay quiet in his arms.
He’s halfway through changing her into her pjs when his luck breaks. Nandor’s voice by the door is surprisingly quiet.
“Where have you two been all day? I-” he cuts himself off, not finishing the sentence.
“We were at the library. It’s probably not good for a baby to be in this stuffy, gloomy house all the time. They need to be out in the world. Seeing people. Human people.” Guillermo knows he’s rambling, but he doesn’t want to give Nandor much of a chance at the moment. This week has broken down a wall that took him years to construct, and he needs to build back up on those foundations as fast as he can.
Isa, apparently, hasn’t gotten the memo quite yet, and the second he picks her up she begins squirming in his arms, obviously reaching for Nandor.
“Come on, chiquita, it’s time for bed.”
“Shall I read to her? She is clearly expecting it.” The confidence in Nandor’s voice frustrates Guillermo to no end.
“She is not expecting anything. She is a baby who needs to go to sleep.” As Guillermo steps further away from Nandor, leaving him in the doorway, Isa wriggles even harder.
“Perhaps I should- I might simply hold her? For a moment?”
It hurts so much to say it that Guillermo has to keep his back turned, trying to lay Isa down in the crib as she fights him the whole way. “No, Nandor. I don’t think it’s actually very safe for Isa to be spending so much time around-” the word monsters dances in his mind, but that is too cruel for even him. “Vampires. You saw what Laszlo did.”
It takes him a long moment to untangle Isa’s little fingers from his sleeve. She is holding on tight, not wanting to let go. By the time he does, and turns back around, Nandor has drawn himself to his full height, looming imperiously in the doorway, rather than just standing there as he had been moments ago.
“Very well. She is your bloodline. However, I do not think she should sleep in the crib tonight. I spent much of the day awake in my coffin and the house has been creaking strangely. Do you remember when you fell through the floor and I rescued you?”
As if Guillermo could forget any of the scant moments he’s spent with Nandor’s arms around him.
“Yeah, Nandor, I remember. But we’re a level up and have been walking over these floors for months now.”
“That may be, but I do not thi-”
Guillermo’s frustration has him stalking forward. “Nandor. I can take care of my niece. Just like I take care of everyone in this house. Even when I don’t want to. I don’t need you.”
There’s a horrible moment of silence, painfully long. Then, as if the world was speeding back up, everything happens at once.
A massive creak, like the sky is falling. Before Guillermo can turn towards Isa, he’s thrown across the room, crashing through the curtains on the bed, but landing surprisingly softly. The noise continues, an earth-shattering grinding and screeching of metal and wood.
Guillermo’s hands are shaking so hard that unraveling himself from the curtains is a challenge. Even as he’s righting his (thankfully unbroken) glasses to see, he’s desperately listening for the sound of cries over his ringing ears.
Finally free of the fabric he turns to see a giant section of the roof has caved in, directly over where Isa’s crib had once rested. Nandor is nowhere to be seen.
“Isabella!” His voice cracks around his scream. “Nandor? Oh my God!”
That horrible silence is finally broken by a light hiss. “Nandor? Nandor are you ok? Is Isa safe?”
Another eternity that is probably only a second long. “We are both okay-a.” His voice creaks out, sounding pained.
“What’s wrong? Nandor, what happened?”
He takes a big breath before he answers, which is worrying enough on its own. “Everything is fine, Guillermo.”
“I’m gonna get you guys out of there. Tell me if anything moves in a bad way.” He stumbles over, light tremor still rocking his body and begins to shift the rubble. There’s so much of it, but it’s so light and dry, practically crumbling apart in his hands like sand. What the fuck had happened to their house?
He keeps up a stream of chatter as he works, all “everything is going to be ok” and “I’m coming for you.” It’s more nervous energy than anything, but it seems to help. He moves a big chunk and can finally hear Isa’s little voice from underneath the pile. She’s babbling away, happy as ever, as if telling Nandor all the things they had done that day without him.
Guillermo is so relieved he falls back for a second, ass hitting the floor. “Oh thank God, you really are both okay.”
Nandor winces audibly at the words. “Guillermo, please do not use that sort of language. Especially right now.”
“‘Right now?’ What does that mean, right now? Nandor, what is wrong? I’ll have you guys out in a minute.”
“You are simply adding unnecessary insult to injury.” His sentences are stilted, and Guillermo jumps back into action. Whatever this is, he has no time to rest.
“Injury, Nandor? What injury?” His voice is getting shriller by the second. Nandor simply huffs in response, making Guillermo even more anxious. Thankfully, the next large, crumbling chunk of roof does it. Guillermo manages to shift it, and finally, he can see them.
Nandor is curled over, almost on all fours, his entire body cradled around Isa. His massive shoulders and chest cover her completely, and she’s lying in the space between him and the mattress pad, no worse than being tucked into her carseat. She’s got one strand of Nandor’s hair in her hand, tugging on it from where it pours down over his shoulders.
“Isabella, nena, you’re okay. Thank G-oodness, you’re alright.” His relief is almost painful. “Nandor, I’m going to get her out first, before you move.” Nandor grunts in reply, so moving as carefully as he can, Guillermo sticks his head and shoulders into the gap he’d dug. The crib has fallen to the floor, and some of the slats are broken, so it only takes him a moment to break through a few more, enough to make a baby-sized hole. Reaching out, he has to tug Isa gently by her foot to drag her within reach, but she only giggles and kicks at him with her other foot, so he continues, until he can get his hands around her.
Moving so, so carefully, he slips Isa out of the crib, out of the rubble and into his arms.
“You’re okay, you’re okay, I’m so happy you’re okay. You’re so brave, mi amor. Giggling through all that.” He’s kissing her face desperately as he speaks, until she shoves one little hand against his mouth. “And so strong.” He can’t fight the smile spreading across his face, and with it, he finally turns back to Nandor. Strangely enough, he still hasn’t moved.
“Nandor, Isa is alright, you’re good to move now.”
“Ahh yes. Well…” Nandor’s voice trails off and Guillermo is on high alert again.
“Just- just gimme a second.” The shake has returned to Guillermo’s voice. What on earth could be keeping Nandor? Guillermo dashes to the bed and places Isa in the far corner, as close to where it is tucked into the walls as possible. Then he uses the pillows to make a little wall for her. Someone has been watching out for them this evening so hopefully his luck will hold a little longer.
Baby as safe as he can make her, Guillermo’s back to the pile of rubble, trying to figure out what on earth could be wrong with Nandor. He squirms his way back in the gap he had dug, trying to see the vampire’s face.
“You need to tell me what’s wrong, or I can’t help.” The grimace on Nandor’s face grows, as if having to admit he needs help is worse than whatever has happened to him. Moving carefully, Nandor lifts one of his hands where it is braced on the ground, and gestures vaguely at his stomach.
Guillermo can’t see what he’s pointing at, the sides of his jacket have fallen forward to hide him. Trepidatiously, Guillermo reaches out, pulling the curtain of his coat out of the way.
“Fuck.” He can’t help but breathe out. Some of the wooden slats of the crib are embedded low in Nandor’s stomach, pressed into him by the floor and the weight of the rubble above him. He’s bleeding sluggishly around them.
“It seems to have missed everything important?” Nandor bites out between his teeth.
Guillermo huffs. “The fact that you’re not a pile of ash right now is a pretty good sign of that.” The noise that comes out of Nandor is closer to a whine than a groan. Guillermo shakes his head as much as he can while still wormed into the rubble.
“Okay, okay. Let me think.” He reaches out to snap the rest of the crib bars that are near Nandor, until they’re below the level of the mattress. “Gimme a sec.” Guillermo crawls backwards out of the rubble, and dashes to the cabinets that stretch across one entire wall of the Blue Room. He spares a glance at Isa, who is still happily lying on the bed in her pillow fort. The glance from the baby to the wide array of sex toys hidden in the cupboards is odd, but not what he’s focused on.
He starts rifling through the dildos and plugs and ropes. There’s one drawer that is just a wide variety of different lubes and another that’s four Furbies with suspiciously matted fur. Nandor must be able to hear him, because his voice rings out hesitantly. “Guillermo, is this the time to be doing that?”
“Are you fucking serio- No, Nandor, I’m looking for- Hah!” He finds it, right by the bottom in a drawer filled with a variety of floggers and candles. A dagger. As he pulls it from its sheath, he can see the finely honed edge. Serrated would be better, but it’s going to have to do.
Slipping it back in the sheath (he doesn’t need to press his luck), Guillermo crawls back into the rubble. “Ok, I’m gonna cut the slats so you can crawl out, and then we’ll deal with them when you’re safer.” Nandor nods. He’s somehow looking greyer than ever. He doesn’t seem to have bled much, but when you’re working on borrowed blood, the rules might be different.
Guillermo begins sawing through the base of the slats, as neatly as he can. Nandor doesn’t say much, but Guillermo can see in the look on his face and the way his shoulders tighten even more that it must hurt. He returns to the same nonsense chatter he’d spoken while digging them out, “everything is going to be ok,” and “I’m gonna get you out.” He’s not really thinking about what he’s saying, just trying to keep up a soothing stream of words.
Finally he cuts through the last one. Three. Three stakes. Nandor took three fucking stakes to the gut, terrifyingly close to his heart, to protect Isa. They’re still sticking out of him. Guillermo’s unsure if he should take them out or not. All his first aid classes said not to, but who knows with vampire physiology. Before he can ponder anymore, Nandor begins moving, now that he’s finally free to.
“Gimme- gimme a sec, let me try to brace this?” Guillermo jumps to his feet, digging his hands under the large flat piece of rubble that is lying across Nandor’s back. This one is heavy. More than enough to crush a baby, he thinks with a shudder. “I got it, come on out.” Guillermo can only do so much against the weight, but it seems to be enough for Nandor to crawl out, frighteningly slowly.
After an eternity, he’s clear, and Guillermo lowers the rubble as gently as he can, frightened of shaking the house any more.
Once it’s down, he rushes over to Nandor, still on all fours on a clear part of the floor. Tossing another glance to Isa (still happy, still in the pillows) he falls to his knees to help Nandor. Gentle hands around his shoulders, Guillermo helps him roll onto his side and then his back, legs stretched out on the ground, torso draped across Guillermo’s. Guillermo slips an arm around his back, supporting him, cradling him close. Nandor looks up at him, exhausted, all 750 years showing on his face, but still a small smile.
“The baby is safe?”
“Yeah, Isa’s- Isa’s perfectly safe. Not a scratch on her. It’s you I’m worried about.”
“If we remove the wood, I should begin to heal.”
Sounds like human first aid was pretty useless. “Do- do you want me to do it?”
“I would appreciate that, yes.”
“Okay, okay, let me-” Guillermo shifts, a closer hold around Nandor’s shoulders, and one hand around the first stake. He hates how right it feels in his hand. “Ready?”
Nandor nods and Guillermo begins to pull. Slow and steady, not wanting to cause any more damage, give Nandor anything else to heal. The slick shick sound the wood makes is not pleasant to hear, but Guillermo has to admit secretly to himself that Nandor’s little moans of relief are.
One by one, he pulls the three stakes from Nandor’s stomach and tosses them towards the rubble, out of the way of where anyone will go.
As the last one slides free of Nandor’s body, he droops, all the tension draining from him as he melts into Guillermo’s lap. As gently as he can, Guillermo worms his hand into the hole punched in Nandor’s tunic. He slides his fingers across the slippery skin and is so happy to find that the first one has already closed up. Nandor is going to need some new blood, soon, but he’s going to be ok.
“Did you mean what you said, when you were cutting?” Nandor blinks sleepily up at Guillermo.
“What- what did I say?” This is what Guillermo gets for running his damn mouth when he isn’t thinking.
“That you do need me? That-” Nandor stops to bite his lip in a way that should not be as enticing as it is. “That you love me?”
Fuck. Guillermo’s heart nearly stops in his chest. Thirteen years of obsession, of insane antics, and this is all it took for him to mindlessly spill his deepest secrets? He takes a breath in, almost wanting to deny it. But then he looks down at Nandor. Still covered in his own blood from where he had risked his life for Isa, for Guillermo. His face is so open in his exhaustion, as if he didn’t have the energy to be aloof anymore.
Guillermo’s breath leaves him on a sigh, and he reaches down to tuck a strand of Nandor’s hair, fallen from his bun, behind his ear.
“Yeah. Yeah, I do. I always have.” He doesn’t even have time to take another breath before Nandor is surging up to kiss him, groaning with pain and pleasure at the same time.
It’s desperate and biting and all that Guillermo could ever dream of.
It’s also cut horribly short by a familiar guffaw from the door.
“Probably easier ways to make this happen, chaps.”
—
Nandor is completely fine, after a robust meal and a good night’s sleep. Guillermo hesitates to thank God, but he feels like someone has been looking out for him. Rewarding him far and above his wildest dreams. Isa’s back to a two-temporary-parent household, and if they occasionally sneak a kiss when she is distracted, no one is the wiser.
Guillermo’s break-up call with Freddie goes surprisingly smoothly, and Marwa seems happier than ever in a separated state. It’s only the baby still in the house, and Guillermo’s knowledge of the volume of Nandor’s bedtime activities, that keeps the final barrier in place. But they’re both getting rather antsy. When Guillermo mentions that Lili had texted she was getting on the return flight, Nandor nips his lip hard enough to draw blood.
Soon enough, all Isa’s stuff is packed and they’re waiting in the Fancy Room. Colin’s duplo blocks (which he’d agreed to switch temporarily to for the baby) are shoved to the side, and Nandor is attempting to teach the kids forward rolls, which he swears are important for any warrior. Isa, who can barely walk, seems to be having enough fun rocking back and forth on the ground, while Colin’s dance abilities seem to convert quite well into quick somersaults.
Guillermo was pretending to dust for a while, but is now settled on the couch, cheering on Colin and trying to not get too worked up when Nandor emerges from an impossibly smooth motion that has him on his knees in front of Guillermo, hair ruffled and blouse loose.
Nandor’s head tilts just a second before Guillermo can hear it.
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
“I’ll get it. You guys stay here.” Guillermo rushes to the door, needing to be sure he beats Laszlo or Nadja.
There on the doorstep is Liliana, looking tired, but no worse for the wear. “Lili! How did everything go?”
“It was insane. Kass’ fiance went on a hike and fell down a ravine? It was a whole thing. There was a manhunt. But we found him and now they’re happily married. So all’s well that ends well, I guess.” Guillermo is shocked enough trying to process the story that he lets Lili push past him into the house, when he had been hoping to keep her on the porch.
The combined sounds of Isa and Colin’s laughter are ringing through the house, letting Lili beeline to her daughter and leaving Guillermo to follow.
As they arrive, Nandor’s head emerges from the neck of his shirt, more rumpled than ever, looking for all the world like he’d gotten trapped in it somehow. He’s grinning though, and Guillermo can only match it.
“MAMÁ!” Isa catches sight of Lili, and is already working her way to her feet, pulling herself along the edge of the couch. Lili dashes over, scooping up her daughter and kissing all over her face. The gesture seems to run in the family. Isa giggles, allowing it for a moment before she also shoves Lili’s face back, and begins to babble excitedly.
“Did you have a fun week, niña? Did you miss me? I bet you missed me. Did you have all sorts of adventures with cousin Guillermo?” The affection in her voice is unmistakable. Just the same as in Nandor’s, where he has come to wrap an arm around Guillermo’s waist and gently correct her, “Tío Memo.”
“Ooooh Tío Memo, huh?” Lili mocks him gently. “I guess you earned it.” She finally turns back to him from where she’d had their cheeks squished together. “Thank you Memo, really.” Her face scrunches in distaste at her own sincerity. “This week was hell, but the only thing getting me through it was knowing that Isa was safe and happy.” She leans in to kiss Guillermo on the cheek, briefly, before sliding away.
“So, shall I get this little monster out of your hair? I’m ready to not leave my house for a month.”
“Yeah, of course. Do you mind if I just give her a hug goodbye?” Guillermo’s voice is certainly not catching in his throat, no thank you.
Lili hands Isa off, and Guillermo cradles her. Little face tucked into his neck, he can feel the puffs of her breath. He doesn’t quite have the right words so he just squeezes her, carefully, hoping she’ll understand in that baby brain of hers. There’s a creak, Nandor shifting his weight across the room, looking a little unsure. He glances at Lili, and Guillermo realizes.
“You too, Nandor. You did as much work as I did this week.” In a second Nandor is bounding over, arms encircling Guillermo’s shoulders and completing the arc of their little hug.
It’s shorter than Guillermo would like, before Nandor is pulling back. Isa turns in Guillermo’s arms and Nandor holds out one thick finger for her to grasp on, teensy fingers barely wrapping around it. He leans down to kiss the back of her hand, with the grace of a king.
“You are a brave warrior, little one. May you conquer kingdoms and leave your enemies dead at your feet.” Guillermo can’t help but glance at Lili at that one. She looks confused but not alarmed.
Nandor steps back, and Isa shifts back to face Guillermo. “Thank you, mi amor.” Guillermo whispers to her. “You’re the reason for everything.” He kisses her on the forehead, and can’t help but meet Nandor’s eyes, glowing with equal joy.
“Ok, wrap up the waterworks,” Lili breaks the moment, brash in the way she always has been. “Guillermo, walk me to the door.” She scoops Isabella back into her arms, bag already looped over her shoulder.
They’re barely out of human earshot, let alone vampire, when Lili turns to him, punching his arm with the fist not cradling Isa. “I can’t believe you have a boyfriend that hot, and you never told me.”
“He’s not my-” the denial, old as time, falls from Guillermo’s lips before he can even consider the veracity of it anymore.
“Miguel literally told everyone, immediately after dinner. It’s not like we didn’t already know, but it’s out out now. So if that man is not already your boyfriend, you need to get on that shit. Find some way to baby-trap him, he’s clearly a great parent. A dog, maybe?” She’s grinning, teasing him. “Speaking of, does he have any brothers?”
“Unfortunately I do not.” Guillermo and Lili jump as Nandor comes up behind them, carrying the empty car seat they’d left in the Fancy Room. Embarrassing slayer reflexes, the both of them.
“Ahh well, you never know till you ask.” Lili shrugs, somehow adding the car seat to the multitude of things in her arms.
“Do you need any help?” Guillermo asks, hesitantly.
“Nah, I’m good. Ready to be just me and my little gal. Thanks again, you guys. I’ll try to call you ahead of time if I need any babysitting in the future.” And with that, she’s out the door. Guillermo watches as she makes it down the steps, and then shuts it carefully behind her.
He turns to sag back against the door, exhausted and amazed they’d all survived the week. Nandor steps close, even closer, crowding him comfortably. The crows feet at his eyes crinkle with a smile as he leans down to kiss Guillermo, more heated than they’d managed yet.
He pulls back too quickly, leaving Guillermo to follow his lips with a whine. His smile grows, showing off his fangs. “Blue Room?” His eyebrow raises with his proposition.
“Blue Room.” Guillermo responds, breathlessly. They’re halfway up the stairs before they both remember and shout “Fuck” in unison.
“Crypt?” Nandor asks, two steps below Guillermo, looking up at him.
Not the comfiest, but it’ll do till they fix the roof. “Crypt,” Guillermo agrees, and they dash back down, and into Nandor’s crypt, giggling all the way.