Work Text:
Loud cheers can be heard in court as Oikawa Tooru’s team, the Argentinian National Volleyball Team, celebrates their win against the Japanese National Volleyball team. Although most of the cheering started from their win, what made it louder was the fact there stood her former fiance of 5 years, Japan’s Athletic trainer, who can be seen down on one knee holding up a ring in front of Oikawa.
While joyous screams filled the court as Oikawa said yes and leapt into Iwaizumi’s arms, what flashed before her eyes was the fact that she was witnessing her own former fiance smile as if he caught the stars. It reminded her of her past where Iwaizumi got down on one knee asking her the same question.
Memories of the past flooded her brain as the crowd celebrated. She remembered the exact same day that she felt that out of all the beings in the entire universe, she was chosen by her sun to shine the brightest right next to him for the rest of their life. That moment was theirs . He was her’s; but not anymore. He was now in the arms of someone who shines brighter than the sun, moon, and stars combined and she could only be blinded by their light.
“Hey, will you be okay interviewing them?” Her partner asked her. “Yeah, it’s my job. Thanks for the concern but there’s no need.”
There was no need indeed. For years she tried avoiding both Iwaizumi and Oikawa even if their jobs wouldn't allow it. Who told her to date an athletic trainer knowing that she was a writer of a sports magazine? It’s been 5 years since she walked away from him. Five years since her supposed wedding. Five years since he told her that he loved him.
She waited as the crowd of teams congratulating them dispersed and walked right up to the newly engaged couple. Oikawa was the first one to notice her and he gave her a small smile before he squeezed Iwaizumi’s hand that he was holding to notify him of her approach.
“Hey.” Iwaizumi said as he smiled gently at her.
“Iwazumi-san, Oikawa-san, first of all, I would like to congratulate the both of you and another congratulations to Oikawa-san and the whole team Argentina for winning. If it’s alright with you, I’d like to interview Oikawa-san about the game and then the both of you for your future plans?”
The couple agreed and Iwaizumi stepped to the side first as she needed to talk to Oikawa first. As she started her interview with Oikawa about the game they just played, she couldn't help but notice the concern in Iwaizumi’s stare. It was hard not to mind Iwaizumi’s eyes but she tried to shift her focus on how much more relaxed Oikawa seemed, how proud he looked as he talked about his team and the game they just played. As her interview with Oikawa reached a conclusion, she turned to Iwaizumi to get him to join Oikawa in front of the camera.
“Alright so, once again, congratulations to the newly engaged couple. So firstly, this question is directed to Iwaizumi-san, was this proposal planned or was this a spur of the moment thing as you couldn’t help but be happy as your partner won?”
“Oh um, well, this was more of a spur of the moment thing. I’ve had the ring for a couple of weeks now and was planning on how to pop the question but I couldn’t get the timing right so when they won, when he won, I was thrilled despite being in opposite teams and I couldn’t help but run to the other side of the court while the only thing that was running in my head was that I wanted to marry him. Well, as they say, ‘the winner takes it all’ so I felt that why not do it right now? It just felt right to me.”
It felt right. Right. She now wondered how it felt to him when she said yes to his proposal back then. She may have said that there was no need for concern but she couldn't help but feel how the words Iwaizumi uttered were like a stab straight to her heart.
“Well, I was also worried that I may have stolen the spotlight from their team so I do want to apologize for that.” Iwaizumi added as he awkwardly touched the back of his head, a habit of his when he feels nervous or awkward.
“I’m sure they wouldn’t mind it since it concerns their beloved captain. So now, Oikawa-san, how does it feel like winning twice in a day? I’m sure you weren’t expecting Iwaizumi-san’s proposal today?” She asked as she turned to Oikawa who blushed in return. His eyes looked somehow apologetic and concerned for her but he couldn’t hide the happiness that radiated from him.
“Well, for winning the Olympics, I could say that I had hopes since I saw how hard my team trained for months but for this whole proposal, was a surprise to me. I was as clueless as everyone and I didn’t even notice that he had the ring for weeks. I’ve known Hajime since we were children so when we got together, I was sure that he couldn’t hide anything from me. Maybe the pressure and excitement as the Olympics approached made my senses less sharp.”
Her jaw clenched the moment Oikawa mentioned how he knew Iwaizumi since they were little because it made her realize how much of a fool she was to believe that Iwaizumi chose her before. As Oikawa uttered how long they knew each other, she couldn’t help but reach the conclusion that she was someone who was a miniscule part of Iwaizumi’s life. She was a filler. She was there to fill Oikawa’s role when he left for Argentina and when he was ready to come back, she was a piece that was tossed aside for she can never compare to someone as bright as Oikawa.
The interview went on asking if the couple are planning to get married right away or if they were going for a long engagement to prioritize both of their careers. As they talked, she can feel the couple getting more and more aware that they were talking about their future plans of getting married to someone who was supposed to get married to one of them. She can see how rigid Iwaizumi and Oikawa looked in front of her so she decided to conclude the interview when she deemed that she had enough material to work on.
“Alright, that’s all for today Iwaizumi-san and Oikawa-san. Thank you for your time and I wish you well and happiness in the future. I’ll take my leave now, I'm sure that both of you are tired as well.”
She walked away from them and headed back to the bleachers to pack up her things. Her coworker already left to go pack the camera up and place it in the car. As she was packing her final belongings, she felt a presence behind her and noticed that it was Oikawa waiting for her.
“Oikawa-san, did you need anything? Is there something you want to add or delete from the interview earlier?”
“Um, I’m not here for anything related to the interview. I’m actually here to ask a favor from you if you wouldn’t mind?” Oikawa looked nervous like a child who was scared of being scolded by their parent for something that they did. This made her curious as to what Oikawa is going to ask.
“I don’t mind as long as it’s within my capabilities. What do you have in mind, Oikawa-san?”
“Okay so… I would like to invite you to our wedding.”
And she suddenly felt like the world stopped.
She was sitting in the bar waiting for nonother than Ushijima Wakatoshi to come. He was most probably freshening up and got stuck to an after game meeting with his team. The waiting part was not doing her any good as her brain kept repeating the scene with Oikawa earlier.
“I would like to invite you to our wedding.”
“I’m sorry I think I might be hearing things, I may not have heard you correctly. Can you repeat what you said, Oikawa-san?”
“I would like it if you were there for our wedding. I’m sorry if this came off as insensitive but I would really appreciate it if you were there. You were a big part of Hajime’s life and when he proposed to me, the very first thought that came to my mind was that I wish for you to be there.”
Flabbergasted was an understatement to what she was feeling. If it was possible to rate how appalled and surprised she was, then she probably would’ve broken the scale by now.
“Oh wow. Um, I’m sorry Oikawa-san but I can’t promise that. That is beyond my line of work and I don’t think being a writer made me a big part of yours and Iwaizumi’s life. Oh unless you want a journalist to write an article about your wedding then I can probably send someone that day.” This was her trying to draw a line and pretend that the past did not happen. The wall on her dam of emotion and feelings that she built for years was slowly crumbling little by little and the more that she thinks of Iwaizumi and Oikawa together, the more the dam threatens to break and overflow.
“You know that’s not what I meant. I’m really sorry for back then and I am genuinely asking you as a friend to attend.”
“Oikawa-san, with all due respect, we aren’t close enough to be friends. And I like to draw a line between my professional and private life so if you have nothing more to say, I'll be heading out first.”
She felt a hand on her shoulder and noticed that it was Ushijima’s. He bent down to kiss her forehead, “Toshi, since when were you here?”
“I was here since your drink had ice which now turned into water by the way,” he sat down beside her, “what were you thinking so deeply about?” He inquired as he ordered his own drink.
“Nothing much just… work. You know I have to write about Iwaizumi and Oikawa. Just usual work stuff and a bit of romance to add in today I guess?”
Ushijima’s face soured when Oikawa’s name was mentioned. Whose face wouldn’t sour when someone mentions your ex-boyfriend whom you witnessed getting engaged right in front of your own eyes? Hell be damned because luck was definitely not on Ushijima’s side tonight.
“Do you really have to be the one to write that article?”
“Well, considering my background or should I just say past? Anyway, considering that and the way my boss knows about what happened between us, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind me passing this on to someone else but I want to write it myself. This is the Olympics, you know how big of a deal that is. It’s not just any game in the world of sports. This is THE competition that all athletes dream of participating in. This is the dream, Toshi. I don’t want to waste this opportunity just because I'm affected by some ex.”
Ushijima seemed to want to say something but decided against it and just proceeded to nod and say that he understands. They were continuing their conversation without noticing that Iwaizumi and Oikawa had entered the same bar as them and sat on a table behind a few tables.
Iwaizumi can clearly see his ex fiance laughing and being close to one of the members of his team and Oikawa seemed to notice how his own ex boyfriend was whispering and holding the waist of somebody else. Both Iwaizumi and Oikawa felt a sense of nostalgia and concern but they knew that they had no right to interfere for those are the two people they hurt the most. They both looked away and continued minding their own business easily going back to their honeymoon atmosphere.
As Ushijima whispered something in her ears, she laughed and ended up glancing behind where she saw Iwaizumi and Oikawa sitting a few tables away from them. She saw how her ex fiance’s eyes were solely focused on his fiance and how in love with him he looked. This put a much bitter taste in her mouth compared to the alcohol she was drinking and Ushijima noticed the switch in her mood and looked at where she was looking and saw them.
“Would you like to get out of here? I’m sure there are other places where we could hang and–”
She cut him off and said, “Toshi, there’s no need. Why should we leave? We were having a great time when they weren’t here and them being here shouldn’t make a difference. We can just not mind them.”
“Are you sure?” She saw the look of concern in Ushijima’s eyes.
“Yes, I’m sure. How about you? Do you want to get out of here?”
“No. I’m here for you and if we’re getting out of here, I want it to be for another reason.” He winked and teased her playfully.
They continued their conversation but she couldn’t help but notice the increase in the amount of alcohol Ushijima was consuming. He was on his eight glass in a span of half an hour and if she noticed his jaw tightening when he subtly looks at Oikawa’s direction, it wasn’t her place to comment on that as she feels her emotions slipping per sip of alcohol.
The night continued on and she ended up spending the night at Ushijma’s place which is something that she’s already done before considering their relationship. Whatever their relationship was.
They were together but they couldn’t deny that there was still a part of them stuck in their past.
She was cooking her and Ushijima’s dinner while he was taking a shower when her doorbell rang.
“Give me a minute!” She shouted at the door as she turned the stove off.
When she opened the door, she was faced with the last person she expected.
“Iwaizumi-san, what brings you here?” She asked as he’s holding a bouquet of peonies, her favorite flowers, and presented it in front of her.
“These are for you. Do you mind if we talk inside?” Iwaizumi asked her. She was confused but she had an inkling as to what Iwaizumi’s business with her would be.
“Come in. I’m sorry for the mess, I was cooking dinner.”
“Cooking dinner? Since when did you cook?”
“Since I started living alone which makes it about almost 6 years now.”
Iwaizumi knew what that implied and quietly nodded. He took in his surroundings as he walked along the hallway and felt an odd sense of unfamiliarity to a place he used to spend nights in years ago. He looked around and saw that there were plates for two.
“You have a guest? Did I intrude at the wrong time?” And just on time, Ushijima emerged fresh from the bathroom only wearing his sweatpants and drying his hair.
“I heard the doorbell ring, who was–” Ushijima asked but stopped midway as he saw who was standing next to her.
“Iwaizumi-san.”
“Ushijima-kun, what are you doing here?”
“Shouldn’t I be asking that to you Iwaizumi-san? And there is no reason for me to not be at my girlfriend’s place.” Ushijima put emphasis on the word girlfriend and this caused irritation to flash in Iwaizumi’s eyes while Ushijima stood there stoic as ever.
“Well, I have business with my former fiance so I would appreciate it if you could give us some space.” Ushijima’s eye twitched when he noted on the emphasis that Iwaizumi used and this caused her to intervene between the two men.
“Alright, Toshi, can you please give us some space, please? And Iwaizumi-san, I don’t think there was a need to mention our old relationship.”
Ushijima kissed her cheeks and went into the room as Iwaizumi walked further inside and took a seat at the table.
As Ushijima went into the room, he felt irritated that he had to leave his own girlfriend to another man and said other man happened to be her ex fiance AND his athletic trainer . He didn’t know if he had the right to feel possessive of her as he knows that she still has lingering feelings for Iwaizumi and he wasn’t blind to see just how possessive Iwaizumi was of her and that irked Ushijima.
Who was Iwaizumi to shake the world of the woman he’s with right now? He already has Oikawa, why couldn’t they just stay in their own orbit and leave her alone? Ushijima huffed as he remembers how Oikawa ended their 3-year relationship to confess to a man who was getting married and knowing that the product of that is what made her suffer is something that Ushijima can never forgive both Oikawa and Iwaizumi for.
“Alright so what’s your business with me, Iwaizumi-san?” She started the conversation.
“I’m here on behalf of Tooru, look, we really want you to be part of our wedding. You were a big part of my life and I wish for you to be there when I'm starting a new chapter of my life. This is an important event for me and Tooru and we want to be able to share this with you.”
She felt fury and rage consuming her because for months she’s been avoiding Oikawa’s messages about the invite and yet here he sends his own fiance, her ex fiance , to ask her about attending their wedding.
“I’m sorry but I think I have declined Oikawa-san enough and I have stated many times that outside of my job, I have no business with the two of you.”
“I know you’ve declined but please why don’t you just give us a chance to convince you and maybe–”
“Iwaizumi. Are you hearing yourself? I’m not sure if you’re hearing how insane you sound. You want me, your ex fucking fiance, to attend your wedding? Do you not get how much salt you’re rubbing on my wound? I know we ended amicably but didn’t you think about the fact that we called off our fucking wedding days before all because Oikawa confessed to you and you loved him back. I’m not a fucking masochist, Hajime. I don’t want to go there and witness somebody else getting married to you. I once dreamt of that and it’s Oikawa fulfilling that for me.”
“I’m sorry it’s just that I thought we’d be okay by now since it was years ago.” Iwaizumi replied, bowing his head in shame.
This made her feel more rage because who the hell is he to assume she had forgotten everything? Who was he to belittle the pain she felt?
“Hajime, we were together for 5 years. Five fucking years of being happy together. Five years wherein I was the one you kissed, I was the one you made love with, I was the one you said ‘i love you’ to. I was the person you proposed to and I was the one you wanted to spend your life with. In a single night, with one mention that Oikawa loved you, he took all of that away from me. I worked my way into your heart when he left you broken when he chose to leave you behind and he took all of that away from me, actually, fuck that. You were never really mine. You belonged to him since the beginning. Don’t you know how much that hurt?!”
Iwaizumi couldn’t even look her in the eyes. He was slowly realizing how deep of a wound he caused. Him being here was just reminding her of all the pain she went through. He could see rage and hurt in her eyes and he wanted nothing more than to soothe her but he knew that it isn’t his job anymore. He loved her and Oikawa then but he didn’t love her enough to be able to choose her and completely remove Oikawa from his heart.
“The day I left and walked away from you, I left a piece of myself with you. You don’t know how much it took for me to walk away from you. I lost you that day, Hajime. I lost you, myself, and my child!” She shouted which was overheard by Ushijima who was in the room and he took that as his cue to interfere. The moment Ushijima came out of the room, he went straight to her side. He knew this was something sensitive to her.
This got Iwaizumi to look at her. “Child? What do you mean child?”
“I was 3 weeks pregnant when we called off the wedding.” She replied as she calmed down in Ushijima’s arms.
“Why didn’t you tell me?!”
“Why should I? You already chose Oikawa the moment you told me that you loved him. I was not about to give my child a pretend family. I wasn’t going to allow myself to use my child for you to stay. That’s just unfair for all of us.”
Iwaizumi couldn't process the words he was hearing. The rational side of him understood why she kept the pregnancy from him but another side of him felt that it was selfish of her to keep it from him. He couldn’t form coherent thoughts knowing he had a child and knowing that he lost it. All that left his mouth was “How did you lose our child?” and his heart broke even more when she said “When I lost you, I lost myself. I wasn’t able to eat properly, I wasn’t sleeping well, I felt dead inside. When I started bleeding, I thought nothing of it and only when I experienced extreme pain did I bother going to the hospital and that’s when I found out.”
Iwaizumi’s world was crumbling and he didn’t know what to do anymore, all he could do was stand up and leave. He didn’t even bother saying goodbye to them. He doesn’t know how he got home but all he did was weep in Oikawa’s arms that night.
Ushijima stayed by her side as she started trembling with her tears flowing again. He rubbed her back and whispered sweet words to her in order for her to calm down. He felt so powerless against Iwaizumi because even after years of Ushijima being by her side, Iwaizumi still has the power to shake her up and bring out these emotions of hers. May it be rage or hatred, Iwaizumi was a trigger for her and all he could do was watch the woman he admired, no. Who was he kidding? He was watching the woman he loved cry over the pain that someone who didn’t treasure her enough brought.
Ushijima was no insecure man and yet he felt insecure over someone who caused the one he loves pain. May she forgive him for being selfish because all he wanted was for her to only shed tears for him. She was too beautiful to be shedding tears for the wrong person. Too intangible to cry over her past.
She believes that she couldn’t compare to Oikawa but she must be blind to not see what Ushijima sees. For him, she was much more ethereal than the sun, moon, and stars combined.
For now, all Ushijima could do was watch as her tears soak his shirt and make her forget about Iwaizumi and Oikawa and remind her that she has him.
The rays of the sun hit her eyes and as she opened her eyes, she smelled her pancakes from the kitchen, which funnily enough, it was the very first thing Wakatoshi learned to cook for her.
It has been weeks since Iwaizumi barged in their apartment and since she revealed about their lost child. After that night, Iwaizumi just sent flowers along with a letter apologizing and both Iwaizumi and Oikawa didn’t bother her about the wedding anymore. Her last chat with Iwaizumi was him politely asking her about where their child rested.
It still felt surreal to her that she was able to tell Iwaizumi, albeit out of rage, about their child which she promised to keep a secret from him to her grave. She felt like a big burden had been lifted from her. She doesn’t know if it was because she was able to scream at Iwaizumi how hurt she was, or if it was because she was finally able to tell him a secret that she knew he had a right to learn; none of those matters to her though.
What matters to her is the fact that there is someone out there, a six-foot-four man, in her pink strawberry apron, cooking her favorite breakfast while looking like a whole damn meal himself.
She didn’t know when or how, nor did she really care about knowing when, all she knows is that she loves Wakatoshi. She loves him and only him now.
Wakatoshi was there for her when she left Iwaizumi. She still remembers when they first met when she was still with Iwaizumi, he was making a bet with him then about hitting a ball with an injured arm and he proudly told Iwaizumi that the winner takes all the control over the person for one whole day. It was a winner takes it all kind of bet and Wakatoshi disgracefully lost to Iwaizumi and ended up being binded and benched that day.
Wakatoshi was the first to offer her a drink when he saw her bawling her eyes out alone when she was moving on from Iwaizumi. He was the one who held her the moment Iwaizumi tore her walls down and let her feelings and emotions flow, and he was the one who made her forget about them.
They no longer mattered to her after that day and slowly she realized that over the years, even if she was afraid of letting her defenses down, she was gradually giving her heart to Wakatoshi and she wouldn’t have had it any other way. Having him was her win at life.
“Hey Toshi,” she greeted him, “what do you say about us getting married?”
This made Wakatoshi drop the spatula he’s holding. “What?” He says in surprise.
“What do you say about us getting married? I mean, I’m not trying to pressure you or anything but I was just thinking that it’s also been more than 5 years of us dating and doing this and I know we kind of started as just friends with benefits and yes, I’m still scared of marriage but if it’s with you then I am more than ready to risk it all I just thought that maybe we can discuss if we want this to go further and oh if you need me to, I am more than prepared to win you over if you’re still not over Oika–”
Ushijima cut her off by rushing over to her, kissing her, and showing her a ring inside a cracked eggshell.
“Wait, Toshi. Really? I mean yes but really? An eggshell?” She teased.
“Hey, I wasn’t planning on doing this until we’ve sat down and you’re enjoying your pancakes enough to say yes to me. I was also planning on asking you when you take a mouthful of pancakes so that when you choke on them, I won’t give you water until you say yes.” Wakatoshi replied stoically.
“Was that a joke or were you really planning on being the death of me?”
“Well, I don’t dislike the sound of being the death of you. So, will you take this gamble of a lifetime with me and spend the rest of your life with me?”
“Toshi, I've already said yes to you. So now, come here and put my ring on me!”
Wakatoshi laughs as he looks at his future. He chuckles as he reminisces how they started out. She dared to say that she was prepared to win him over? Oh if only she knew how many times she’s won him over and over again. Wakatoshi couldn’t believe that he gambled at life big time when he bought the ring the very next day after Iwaizumi talked to her. He bet on life and wished upon all the stars in the sky for him to have a chance at claiming her heart, all he could do now was smile at her and mutter to himself, “well, Iwaizumi-san, this time I win against you. I guess the winner really does take it all.”