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Tenzo considered himself a good shinobi. He always did his work to the best of his ability and accepted his orders gracefully and professionally.
Which meant that he certainly didn’t deserve this.
For the fifteenth time that hour, his oh-so-distinguished ANBU captain let out a pensive sigh from his perch in a tree. He turned his head, glaring at the man from behind his cat mask.
“For the love of God, senpai, just talk to him!”
The him in question walked through the marketplace that the two ANBU were supposed to be guarding silently, all smiles for everyone who crossed his path as he did his shopping.
“Oh and that would go over so well, wouldn’t it, kohai,” the dog-masked ANBU replied sardonically. “‘Hey Iruka-sensei, remember me? The ANBU who you terrorized when you were younger? The jonin you make a point to scream at every time he’s in the mission room? Guess what? I like you. A lot. Want to go out?’ Yeah, not going to happen.”
To his credit, Tenzo tried not to snicker. He really did. It’s not his fault that he failed. He heard the other man give a low growl beside him.
“How about this?” Tenzo ventured. “If you ask him out, I will personally give each of your ninken a bath.”
“Why do you care so much?” Kakashi asked, watching the object of his desire walk down the street and turn a corner out of sight.
“I will do just about anything to get you to stop sighing like a pathetic schoolgirl every five minutes. Honestly, senpai, it’s very unprofessional.”
“Two baths,” Kakashi wheedled. “And I get to tell you I told you so as much as I want.”
“Fine, fine. As long as you get the job done.”
“Fine,” Kakashi huffed.
Mercifully, the rest of their shift was free of pathetic sighs.
Two days later, Kakashi crawled into Tenzo’s apartment window in the dead of night, setting him on edge until he determined the intrusion was not a threat.
“It’s eleven o’clock, Kakashi. What the hell are you doing here?” he asked as he flicked on the light.
Then stared in shock at his sempai. The man’s hair was a vibrant shade of lime green, the intensity only matched by the power of his glare.
“I told you so,” Kakashi said evenly.
“Iruka-sensei did this?” Tenzo asked before he bent forward in a full-out guffaw. “I take it things didn’t go well?”
“Wow, Tenzo, I wonder what gave you that impression? No, things decidedly did not go well. I went to the academy after school and asked him out to dinner. He said yes but to wait while he got some things out of his desk that he wanted to take home. Next thing I know I’m covered in very persistent lime powdered dye and Iruka goes off about stupid jonin always trying to get one over on him by asking him out on fake dates and that we should know by now that it’s not going to work. You owe me big, kohai.”
“I blame Genma,” Tenzo mused. “He went through a spell where he kept trying to get Iruka to come out for drinks on the hope that he’d get drunk and do something embarrassing that Genma would then broadcast to the entire village as revenge for that mission in Grass country that left him picking mud out of places he didn’t think could contain mud.”
“I remember when he came back from that,” Kakashi said, his visible eye crinkling in a smile. “Served him right to try to pull rank on the good sensei.”
“Well, no one said Genma was the brightest bulb in the box,” Tenzo replied drily.
“Anyway, just wanted to let you know the disastrous results of your little experiment in match making. Thank you so much for the suggestion.”
Tenzo’s face fell. “I’m sorry, sempai. I just wanted you to be happy.”
Kakashi shrugged. “It’s probably for the best.” He pulled a scroll out of his flak vest and handed it to his kohai. “Report at 0800 hours in full gear at the west gate day after tomorrow. This one might take a while. And then when we get back, you’ll wash every one of my ninken thoroughly. At least I got something out of this disaster.”
With a nod of understanding, Kakashi flickered out of Tenzo’s apartment, leaving him to his thoughts. If only he could get a sense of what the sensei actually thought of Kakashi outside of the yelling and the admittedly very funny pranks.
Tenzo donned his ANBU gear the following morning and set out to the training fields. Iruka was in the middle of field seven like he was most mornings, going through a mixture of Tai Chi and jujitsu katas with an almost feline grace. It was easy to see the power that rippled beneath the surface of the chunin, and it always amazed him that so many people consistently underestimated him.
Iruka finished his final kata and bowed to the open air before breaking and going to sit against a tree, lifting a water bottle to his lips. Next, he pulled out a container of yogurt and a spoon and began eating. Taking his chance, Tenzo flickered down to the grass a few feet away.
“Iruka-sensei,” he greeted.
Iruka raised his eyebrows but otherwise betrayed no other sign of surprise. He set down his breakfast and gave a small nod. “ANBU-san,” he replied.
“If you were, hypothetically of course, informed that you were operating under a misconception about a certain event involving a certain jonin yesterday afternoon, how would you respond?”
Iruka furrowed his brows. “I suppose that would depend on the nature of the actual information I supposedly misconceived,” he said cautiously.
Tenzo huffed in annoyance. He was so not cut out for this. “What do you think about Kakashi-san? Truthfully.”
Iruka’s face darkened into a scowl. “Did he put you up to this? I swear to God the next time I see him..”
Shit. Tenzo put his hands up, palms facing the now irate man. “Nononono, sensei please. He doesn’t know I’m here. I’m just trying to right a wrong here. I may be responsible for Kakashi-san approaching you. I have every reason to believe that his intentions were genuine, unlike certain senbon-sucking ninja we both know. If you were removed from that misconception, I wonder what you might say if I convinced him to try again.”
“I’d say that it’s a cold day in hell that I let one of you jerks get the better of me. This lowly chunin refuses to take your shit, ANBU-san. Now respectfully fuck off!” Iruka said, his face nearly purple with rage before he threw something on the ground and flickered away.
Tenzo had to put in a rush order to replace his cat mask and armor in preparation for his mission the next day. The dark blue dye would just not come off. And if Kakashi noticed the blue streaks in his hair framing his happuri, he refrained from saying anything. Fortunately, both Kakashi’s and Tenzo’s involuntary dye jobs washed away after a couple of days.
Three very long months later, ANBU Cat and Hound trudged back into Konoha, exhausted but still in one piece. The mission had taken forever, involving a sequence of badly drawn maps, faulty intel, and s-class missing-nin. Kakashi had taken a pretty nasty sword wound to his right arm, so Tenzo manhandled him into the hospital, despite the man’s protests that he was just fine, thank you very much. The kohai ignored his superior. He’d heard it all before. The man thought that if he could stand more or less straight, he should be cleared for active duty. It was a wonder he’d made it to twenty-four, really. Stubborn idiot.
After forcing Kakashi into the ANBU wing of Konoha Hospital to be treated, he turned toward home and the inviting comfort of his neglected bed. But before he could make the hand signs to flicker away, he heard a voice call his name.
He turned and found none other than Iruka-sensei looking at him with a concerned expression.
“Cat-san,” the man began. “Is Ka- is Hound-san alright?”
Tenzo tilted his head to the side in a gesture of confusion. This was an interesting development.
“Sempai will be fine. He’s being treated for a sword wound and chakra exhaustion. He’s endured far worse, I assure you,” he replied reassuringly.
Iruka nodded, taking in the information. “I will visit him later, then,” he said as if to himself more than to Tenzo.
“I wouldn’t advise trying, sensei. He’s in a sealed ward.”
Tenzo resisted the urge to recoil at Iruka’s answering impish expression. “There isn’t a door in Konoha that can keep me out,” he said simply, and then he was gone, leaving Tenzo standing in the street alone. He felt the smile form underneath his mask. That chunin would definitely give his sempai a run for his money. It was about time someone did.
Tenzo saw Kakashi again two weeks later in the marketplace, looking happier than he’d ever seen him, despite the fact that his white hair now housed streaks of deep purple.
“A beautiful day, isn’t it, kohai?” Kakashi said, his visible eye crinkling with happiness.
Tenzo raised an eyebrow questioningly. “Is it?”
“Oh yes, the best ever,” he nearly purred with contentment.
“Kakashi!” a voice called from next to a market stall. “If you don’t come here and help me carry these groceries, I’ll add pink to those highlights!”
“Yes dear!” the jonin nearly sang and, with a wink to his kohai, rushed to help unburden Iruka.
Tenzo stared in shock for a moment before bursting out laughing.
“Oh, that reminds me,” Kakashi said. He bit his thumb and crouched on the ground. When the smoke cleared, eight very muddy dogs stared expectantly at their master.
“Bathtime!” Kakashi trilled happily. Each dog gave a panicked look and ran off in a different direction.
“Fetch, Tenzo,” he said to his long-suffering kohai with his widest eye-smile. With a curse, Tenzo took off to corral the dogs one by one. So much for his relaxing Saturday. But, he thought as he sped away, seeing his sempai take Iruka’s hand with his free one and press the knuckles to his masked lips with a look of such deep happiness made it all worth it.