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matthew awakes to a monstrous pain in his abdomen, along with a sticky texture in between his shorts.
he groans softly at the pain as well as the realization that his cycle had started early. matthew was seriously hoping that he wouldn't have to deal with this while in the middle of production. none of the trainees even knew of his secret.
trying to be as quiet as possible, he climbs down the bunk bed ladder and goes to rummage through his suitcase. he remembers vividly bringing tampons and painkillers, but only very few, in hopes that this wouldn't be happening.
another wave of pain strikes matthew's insides, and it nearly distracts him from the process of obtaining his needs. it almost pushed him over; the pain was so unbearable. he covers his mouth after discovering he let out a louder groan than before. at that moment, matthew would hate to disturb his hyungs, who were sleeping peacefully.
after grabbing the necessities, he heads over to their miniature bathroom. he turns on the tap to take a quick swing at the water and follows it by dumping the pills into his mouth. he's hoping they'll kick in quickly, because this pain is seriously no joke.
matthew looks down to see that his once-blue shorts have been transformed into a sticky bloodbath, with little of the blue left showing. goddamn it, why did it have to be one of his heaviest days?
he had forgotten to grab a pair of boxers.
matthew sighs loudly, knowing he'll have to go back into the room and rummage some more. but for now, he pulls off his shorts and inserts the fresh tampon inside of him.
and at this moment, matthew wanted to sink into the small blood puddle he'd nearly created under him.
jiwoong, his bunk buddy, has the bathroom door slightly creaking open, looking visibly confused. matthew wanted to punch himself when he realized he hadn't closed the bathroom door all the way. after about a minute with no words exchanged, jiwoong starts. "matthew? is everything okay?"
but the said boy begins to panic. shit. fuck. the fellow trainee he was just starting to get to know has discovered his huge secret. right now, he was everything except okay. "j-j-jiwoong... i j-"
"shh, hey, relax now." jiwoong whispers as he fully steps into the bathroom with him. he starts to sense matthew's panic levels rising. "what's going on?"
"i-i was just- i was trying to be quiet- but now you know that-"
"okay, matthew, i need you to actually relax now. please don't stress." jiwoong rubs at matthew's arms in comfort. he looked at the situation again before looking back into the other's eyes. "do you need anything? or are you all set?"
matthew tries to sustain himself, but he still feels that lump in his throat forming. "n-new shorts, please..? there s-should be plenty in my case..."
"okay. just wait right here. i'll go check for you." jiwoong leaves the bathroom temporarily, leaving matthew on the verge of tears but now slightly confused.
he's also scared shitless. jiwoong's seen it, jiwoong knows what it is, and jiwoong knows matthew has it. what the fuck was going to happen to him? is he about to tell production his secret? is he going to spread it around to the other trainees? is this about to affect his chances at becoming an idol, a dream he's consistently longed for?
matthew stands there sniffling, realizing jiwoong is taking a little longer than he thought he would. these overwhelming feelings, along with the menstrual pains, are putting the boy in a shitload of distress. he watches the door as he doubles over in pain, one hand gripping the corner of the sink and the other around his stomach.
finally, jiwoong returns to the small bathroom with some of matthew's new boxers in hand and a washcloth. he helps matthew sit on the enclosed toilet as he starts to run the water on the washcloth.
"ji-jiwoong... what are you doing?" the younger asks.
"i'm getting you cleaned up before you change, don't worry." jiwoong kneels to matthew's height before dragging the damp cloth along his thigh, wiping away the excess blood. rather than refusing, matthew lets him do so, while silently sobbing into his hand. "unless you're in pain, there's no reason you should be crying."
matthew hiccups and tries to calm himself. he speaks as jiwoong cleans the blood off the floor as well. "p-please don't tell anyone, please, i'm begging y-"
"is that what you're so worried about?" jiwoong's now looking up at him, asking genuinely. "matt, of course i won't tell anyone. it'd just make matters worse on your end. you just need to be very careful, okay?" the elder helps the other off his seat and spins himself around. "change into those boxers."
matthew stares at his back for a couple of seconds before complying. this whole situation was just so scary. jiwoong knows now that matthew is transitioning. even matthew's close friends don't know about this. how was he supposed to take jiwoong's word for it when he hardly knew the guy? "o-okay, i'm done."
jiwoong spins back around and sets his hands on matthew's shoulders. "i can sense that you're stressed out about this. and i apologize for barging in here without any notice. i just wanted to check up on you since i heard some rustling. i promise you, i won't tell anyone about this. do you understand?"
matthew wipes away his tears and nods. "o-okay.. i'm trusting you."
jiwoong smiles warmly. "good. are you feeling okay otherwise? did you bring a heating pad to help you?"
matthew shakes his head. "i was hoping this wouldn't happen."
"let's go sit on my bed. i'll massage you."
as it turns out, jiwoong knew the areas to massage in times of menstrual cramps, which were the hands and ankles. even matthew was unaware of this. he whispers as quietly as possible to not disturb those sleeping, as he feels his ankle being traced with circular patterns. "h-how are you so experienced in dealing with these situations?"
"i have sisters and many female friends." jiwoong responds. "i usually have sanitary pads for them in my backpack just in case. obviously, i didn't think to bring them here."
matthew lets out a small sigh of relief as he feels the massages wear off his cramps. "you're a great brother and friend."
jiwoong scoffs. "thanks, i suppose. it's the bare minimum." he pauses for a second. "my mother works as a gynecologist, so i grew up learning about all of that stuff from an early age."
"you weren't grossed out by it or anything?"
"of course not. half of the world has to endure it. it's childish to be grossed out by something completely natural."
the two stay silent for a minute, only their breathing being heard. although he still has yet to get to know more about the man, matthew has already grown to respect jiwoong. he was so thoughtful and caring, and anyone would be blessed to have someone like him around. and something else matthew noted was that he wasn't even asking him about his identity. he comes to wonder if jiwoong has been around other trans people. he asks this to break the silence.
"honestly, not a ton. i had a friend in high school who's female now but was male when i knew her. i'm still trying to learn more about sexuality in itself."
matthew nods. "i can tell you more about it someday."
jiwoong looks up at matthew and smiles. "i'd really like that."