Archive of Our Own

6. Heeseung

Heeseung was not having the best day. He woke up that morning with a pounding headache, and it appeared they were out of painkillers in their dorm so Heeseung had nothing to help either. On top of that, he immediately felt nauseous when they entered their van to drive to the company. Jungwon didn’t fail to notice the older boy’s quietness. He became quickly worried about the older. He knew the older tended to become more closed off to his friends when something was bothering him or when he was sick. He decided to keep an eye on him throughout their dance practice. 

Their dance practice was going perfectly. Just swimmingly. Heeseung really wished that was the case. No, no, no. Instead, his body was not listening to him; his movements were slow, uncoordinated. He wanted to cry. The others were understanding, they encouraged him and didn’t rush him at all. But their teacher was a different story; she was highly irritable already, and it didn’t help that she was in a bad mood because they weren’t picking up the choreography as quickly as she thought they would. They were going through the steps of the dance slowly, one step at a time as she sunk her comments into Heeseung’s skull. 

“Heeseung, shoulders up!” 

“Heeseung, head back!” 

“Heeseung, faster!” 

Heeseung just wanted to collapse. 

“Okay, everyone stop!” She turned off the music and turned to face the group with her arms crossed. 

“Heeseung, why is this so hard for you? These steps are the easiest steps in the world, I don’t get why you’re being like this all of a sudden. You’re not putting in enough effort, what’s wrong with you?” 

What’s wrong with you. The phrase rang in Heeseung’s mind. He tried catching his breath as tears welled up in his eyes. He bit his lip and held his head silently, not knowing what to say. 

“Did you hear me? What’s wrong with you, Heeseung?!” She went to step closer to the boy before another person intervened. Jungwon stepped in front of Heeseung, simultaneously standing in between Heeseung and the instructor. 

“Teacher, please calm down. Heeseung-hyung didn’t do anything wrong. He’s feeling under the weather, please go easy on him.” 

His eyes sparkled with empathy as he implored the instructor to understand his sentiments. The instructor stepped back and looked into Jungwon’s eyes. Jungwon looked into their instructor’s eyes seriously. That’s when she felt bad. She fiddled with her fingers and bit her lip. 

“You’re right. I’m sorry Heeseung, that was out of line for me to say.” 

“It’s okay, teacher.” 

Heeseung smiled lightly at the teacher. He then looked at Jungwon silently. He smiled warmly at the younger. 

“Thanks, Jungwon-ah.” He whispered lightly, voice tired from underuse.

Jungwon turned around to Heeseung with a smile and nodded. 

“Of course, Heeseung-hyung. Do you feel better at all?” He said as he lifted his hand to the boy’s forehead. He felt extremely hot, like he was burning up. Heeseung stayed silent, eyes closing as Jungwon’s refreshing cold hand pressed against his forehead. 

“Hyung, you’re burning up! Come on, let’s get you home.” Jungwon grabbed Heeseung’s wrist and started walking toward the door. 

“But practice–” Heeseung said nervously, not wanting to upset the other members. He shouldn’t get special treatment just because he’s sick. 

“ Practice can be rescheduled. We’re all going home. Right. Now. Leader’s orders.” Jungwon said to his hyung seriously. He almost never pulled the ‘leader’ card on any of them, unless it was for an important reason such as this. That’s how Heeseung knew he was serious. He sighed and nodded, headache growing by the minute. 

“Come on, guys. Get your stuff, let’s go home.” Jungwon said to the others behind him, before grabbing his Heeseung-hyung’s hand and helping him walk out of the practice room. Heeseung smiled to himself as he looked at the younger leader, affection for the boy showing through his expression. 

5. Jay

Jay was confused. He thought he was doing well in his career up until now. Up until this exact moment in time, as an interviewer asked him way too personal questions. He tried his best to give vague answers on purpose, but the interviewer caught on so quickly he began drilling the questions in harder. Their group did not fail to notice this fact; all of his questions were personally directed toward each member, but it felt like he was trying to make Jay’s questions harder than the rest of their’s. Jungwon was starting to get ticked off at this interviewer. 

“Do you have any insecurities about yourself that fans don’t know?” The interviewer asked with a curious expression on his face. The group could sense the venom in his voice, pure malice flowing through his words. 

“Uh, well, I…um…” Jay looked down into his lap as he fiddled with his fingers, visibly uncomfortable with the highly personal question. 

“I think that’s enough, sir. I don’t want to sound disrespectful, but that’s none of your business.” Jungwon held Jay’s left hand as he spoke back to the interviewer, rubbing his thumb over Jay’s hand, which was now slightly shaking. Jay’s hand squeezed against Jungwon’s as he turned to face the younger. 

“Thanks, Jungwon-ah.” He whispered as a glassy film covered his eyes. He smiled so tinily, Jungwon might not have seen it if he wasn’t looking at the older. Just as Jungwon went to respond, he was cut off by the interviewer. 

“I didn’t mean anything bad by it! It was just a question, I don’t know why you’re getting so defensive over it. What, do you love your hyung?” He said the last sentence in a mocking tone, defensiveness becoming evident. 

“Okay, that’s it, we’re done here. Come on guys, let’s go.” Jungwon held Jay’s hand tighter as he stood up from his seat. The group followed suit, silently getting up and walking toward the exit. 

“Where are you going?! The interview isn’t over yet!” The interviewer yelled as he stood up from his seat. 

Jungwon turned back around from the exit. 

“We’re done.” 

The group followed out behind him silently and shut the door to the exit. They went back to their dressing room and collectively sighed a breath of relief when they arrived. 

“Listen guys, I’ll take full responsibilty of what happened, so don’t worry about getting scolded. Can one of you call manager-hyung and ask him to pick us up?” 

“I can call him.” Sunghoon said, phone already pulled out. 

Jay looked at his hand intertwined with Jungwon’s, realizing the younger was slightly shaking. Tears welled up in his eyes; he knew Jungwon hated conflict, he would always try to mediate between the others when they fought and always tried to please everyone around him. It must’ve been terrifying for him to stand up to the interviewer, who was basically a complete stranger to him. Jay bit his lip silently as he let go of Jungwon’s hand and hugged the younger tightly. Jungwon slightly flinched in his hold, but melted upon contact. 

“Thanks, Jungwon-ah. I really mean it.” 

Jungwon rubbed circles into Jay’s back softly, smiling against the older’s shoulder. 

“Of course, hyung. I’d do anything for you.” 

Jay smiled genuinely, feeling warmly safe in Jungwon’s presence. 

4. Jake

Jake was having a hard time. During their tour in America, somehow he was the only member who got sick. It was something impressive for the group, their immune systems were expected to get weaker with the constant traveling, yet the only person who truly got sick was Jake. It was a rough time period for them all, but it felt like the universe was cursing Jake. By now, he was not only bilingual but also getting used to translating regularly for the group. Of course he had Jay to help him, but it had been a while since they’d been to America last and Jay was so used to Korean again he was usually stumbling over his words in English. He didn’t blame his fellow ‘02 liner for forgetting a lot of his English, thats what happens when you don’t have constant exposure to another language you’ve learned; you start to forget a lot and when it comes time to use it, you’re fumbling over your words. However, in his fever-wracked mind, he couldn’t help but curse at himself for not teaching the other’s English at least. It would’ve made his job a lot easier. He didn’t think his group’s English was bad, Jungwon and Heeseung were pretty fluent, Sunghoon and Sunoo tried their best, and Ni-ki learned so he could communicate with Jake when they were trainees. But there were those moments when he wished his whole group was as fluent as he was. 

Like now, they were in front of a live audience, surprisingly comprised of all Engenes, in New York with an interviewer asking them questions about their new album. Their company didn’t hire a translator for this interview, so Jake had most of the translating responsibility on his shoulders. Except, his head hurt and his brain was foggy from the fever. He took some painkillers a couple of hours ago, but they weren’t working as well as Jake hoped they would. He tried looking okay to the audience, he didn’t want any Engenes to worry about him. 

“What are each of your favorite tracks off of this new album?” 

Jake coughed hardly, throat dry from answering most of the questions already. He grabbed his water from the floor and swallowed almost half of the bottle. 

The members answered the question individually before their eyes landed on Jake. 

“Um…I think my favorite track is probably…um,” Jake’s foggy mind refused to let him think of anything but his fever. 

Jungwon held his hyung’s sweaty hand from his right side and smiled, “Bills?” 

“Yeah! I like Bills the most from this album!” Jake smiled at the interviewer before turning back to Jungwon and showing him a grateful smile. Jungwon smiled back at his hyung widely, not letting go of his hand. 

“Cool! And just like that, my interview time is over and it’s time for fans’ questions! First we have Kayla here with us!” The host said energetically, setting his cue cards on his lap. 

Oh no. Fan questions? Jake forgot about that part. 

“Hi! This is a question for everyone. Have any of you ever thought about releasing a solo album? If so, what genre would you like to do?” 

Jake translated for the group, albeit a little slowly but no one commented on it. He decided to go first, afraid he might forget the question if he waited any longer. 

“For me, I have thought about it before, but not for a long time. If I ever did release a solo album I think I’d maybe want it to be pop or r&b.” He smiled at the audience and then looked at his members. They took their turns answering the question and then moved onto the next fan. This continued for about an hour or so before the interview finally ended and they headed to their next schedule. Jake somehow stumbled through their schedule without much trouble, and finally it all came down to their concert for that night. 

They were all getting ready for the soundcheck, Jake was barely starting to feel better. He was lying on the couch in their waiting room while some of the others were getting their makeup done. Apart from that, the others who weren’t getting their makeup done were either eating or killing time. Jake was the only one truly resting, well, if you could call falling in and out of consciousness ‘sleeping.’ His headache only started to disperse, after another round of painkillers from their staff. He could hear the whispers of their staff from the other side of the room. He kept his eyes closed, not wanting them to know he was eavesdropping on their conversation. 

“Jake’s been so rude lately. He’s ignored almost everyone today and hasn’t thanked us like he usually does.” 

“I know. I wonder why he’s being like this. But, like you said, he is being really rude. I’ll have a talk with him after the concert.” 

Great. Now I’m going to get scolded for being sick.  Jake thought as his lips curled downwards unintentionally. 

“Manager-hyung. Stylist-noona, that won’t be necessary.” Jake opened his eyes suddenly before sitting up on the couch and looking at Jungwon, who was walking towards their manager and head stylist. 

“Jake-hyung caught a cold, so he’s a little distracted. Sorry he’s been ignoring you, but I can imagine he’s stressed and tired, so please don’t scold him. If anything, you should probably scold me, I didn’t look after him properly so he got sick. I’m sorry, manager-hyung.” 

“Oh…um. Thanks for letting me know, Jungwon. Um…neither of you are in trouble, don’t worry. But I will discuss this with you after the concert and get medicine for Jake.” 

“I understand hyung. Thank you.” 

Jake laid back down and closed his eyes. Gosh did he feel guilty now; Jungwon was going to get scolded when he didn’t do anything wrong. Jake had to make sure to apologize to the younger after his nap. He heard footsteps step closer to him, so he pretended to be asleep once more. 

He felt a cold hand touch his forehead, to which he relaxed greatly. 

“He still feels a little warm, but better than earlier.” He heard Jungwon say, to which he mentally smiled and leaned into Jungwon’s touch. 

“Jake-hyung, I’m sorry but we need to go to soundcheck now.” Jake slightly groaned before opening his eyes and looking at Jungwon. 

“Do you feel a little better, Jake-hyung?” Jungwon said with a slight smile, worry evident in his tone. 

Jake nodded and smiled widely at the younger before hugging Jungwon. 

“Thanks for all your help Jungwonie.” 

“Of course hyung, anything for you.” Jake could feel the outline of Jungwon’s wide smile on his hair as Jungwon hugged him back.

3. Sunghoon

Sunghoon’s beauty was not just known to Engenes. Oh, no. Almost everyone who liked k-pop knew how beautiful Sunghoon was, no thanks to the MC position he accepted on Music Bank. And of course Sunghoon’s popularity helped his group’s popularity. But there were always downside to being in such popular k-pop groups. The main one being the mobs of people crowding them almost everwhere they made a public appearance; music shows, airports, even foreign countries. This time was no special occasion, they were flying back to Incheon after a quick trip to Japan to promote their new Japanese album. By now, Enhypen had their fair share of mobs, but this one was different. The only flight their management was able to acquire made them arrive at 1pm in South Korea, on a weekend. The boys were grateful about the non-early flight from Japan, but it meant there would be a lot more people to mob them in the airport today. Their manager went over a general plan, but it was nothing concrete and solid, so Jungwon took it upon himself to create a plan to protect his group. They gathered in a huddle before they walked to the open area of the airport where Engenes were waiting diligently for them. 

“Okay, here’s the plan. Heeseung-hyung leads the line. Then it’ll go Jay-hyung, Jake-hyung, Sunoo-hyung, Ni-ki, Sunghoon-hyung, and me. We all hold hands and don’t let go under any circumstances. Everyone got that?” They all nodded and put their hands in the middle. Once all of their hands were in the middle, Jungwon quietly said, “Fighting!!” To which all of the others copied him. 

Then, they stood in their line formation that Jungwon planned out. They held each other’s hands as tightly as they could and walked out to the open area of the airport. Immediately fans started hoarding them, trying to take pictures or make Enhypen take their gifts. Some of them closed their eyes in fear, others looked forward trying to persevere. Jungwon kept his eyes peeled on his members, not daring to look away. Sunghoon suddenly looked behind him at the ground, to which Jungwon immediately turned around. Sunghoon’s favorite keychain was on the ground; Jungwon knew how much the older loved that keychain. So he broke the chain to get it. But what he didn’t see was Sunghoon broke the chain as well, hoping to grab it before a fan snatched it up. Jungwon immediately grabbed it and turned around to find the line once more, but was surprised when he met Sunghoon’s eyes. 

Sunghoon was immediately shoved by a fan upon making eye contact with Jungwon. He fell to the ground, hands cushioning his fall. Jungwon flinched before trying to help Sunghoon off the ground. But Jungwon was tripped by a fan as well, but luckily he stopped himself before fully colliding with Sunghoon. Fans got closer to them, asking them for pictures and shaking them harshly. Jungwon held his body over Sunghoon’s tightly, not wanting the older to get injured. The fan’s shoves were harsh, harsh enough to put bruises on Jungwon’s arms. He slightly flinched, but held his ground, protecting the older to no fault. Something sharp scratched against his arms and on his cheek, to which he grimaced and slightly teared up. Suddenly, multiple security officers were pushing their fans back and helping Jungwon and Sunghoon off of the ground. They both stood up and held each other’s hands tightly, walking back to their van. 

Jungwon’s heart rate started to calm as he held Sunghoon’s hand, slightly sweating from the encounter. He still had tears in his eyes, but they hadn’t fallen contrary to Jungwon’s belief. He could feel a panic attack coming on, but kept to himself as he didn’t want to worry Sunghoon. They finally got to their van and Jungwon entered after Sunghoon, checking to make sure everyone was there. He sat next to Sunghoon in the very back of the van, right next to the window. Sunghoon silently held Jungwon’s hand before looking at his face. 

The younger’s eyes were looking, but not seeing. Jungwon was dissociating. He probably couldn’t feel Sunghoon’s hand in his. Nevertheless, Sunghoon examined Jungwon’s injuries from the mob. He wiped the blood from the cut on Jungwon’s cheek, his heart clenching in pain. 

“Thank you, Jungwon-ah.” He said softly, tears welling up in his eyes. 

Jungwon nodded silently before blinking, zoning back into reality. 

Jungwon’s eyes welled up with tears involuntarily as his heart rate picked up. He couldn’t stop thinking about the mob at the airport. It felt so much more violating than last time. All those hands touching him, voices yelling, Jungwon was overwhelmed just thinking about it once again. 

His hands started shaking in Sunghoon’s hold, the older quickly noticed. Jungwon’s breathing picked up as his ears started ringing and his vision blurred. He turned to his Sunghoon-hyung. 

“–won-ah, are you oka…Jungwon-ah, can you hear me?” 

Jungwon closed his eyes as his lips trembled. He put his hand over his eyes in an attempt to shield his tears, but they fell on his cheeks anyway. Jungwon’s breathing picked up as his whole body shook in fear. He shook his head silently before covering his face with his free hand. 

“Jungwon-ah, look at me. Jungwon-ah, hey hey hey.” Sunghoon cupped his hands on Jungwon’s cheeks as he made the younger face him. Sunghoon brought Jungwon’s shaking hand to his chest. 

“Copy me, Jungwon-ah.” Sunghoon breathed in exaggeratedly, in and out. Jungwon copied the older, taking a large breath in and a large one out. 

“Good job. Give me a few more, Jungwon-ah.” Sunghoon breathed in exaggeratedly, once more so the younger could copy. Jungwon copied once more, tears starting to diminish on on his face. The group looked at the both of them worriedly, their leader almost never had panic attacks anymore, they knew it was serious. They uttered phrases of encouragement to Jungwon, but he barely heard them. He was too focused on calming his breathing. 

After a few more breathing exercises with Sunghoon, Jungwon’s panic attack disappeared and his nerves died down. Jungwon breathed out once more, smiling at Sunghoon gratefully. 

“Thanks Sunghoon-hyung.” 

Sunghoon smiled and shook his head. 

“No…thank you, Jungwon-ah. For protecting me earlier. You got injured because of me, even though I’m your hyung…” Sunghoon looked worriedly at the cut on Jungwon’s cheek. 

“No, hyung. I’m glad I could protect you. You’re important to me hyung, I’d never want you to get hurt.” 

Sunghoon smiled silently before kissing the cut on Jungwon’s cheek affectionately. Jungwon giggled lightly as the fluttering kiss made his heart swoon. 

2. Sunoo 

It was the peak of their comeback preparations. Sunoo was falling behind on the dance, when almost everyone had picked it up. He’d always had some level of difficulty picking up their taxing choreography, the ones with high energy were especially hard for him. Everyone was stressed, irritable, and frankly started to get a little annoyed at the repeating of their steps over and over again. Jungwon didn’t fail to notice his Sunoo-hyung’s difficulty with the steps. He knew the other’s were starting to get annoyed too, with their soft mutters under their breath. 

Finally, their teacher called for a break and everyone dispersed. Their teacher went to the bathroom and the others went to drink water from their bags. Jungwon went to his bag to drink his water as well, then decided to encourage his Sunoo-hyung about his dancing. Then, he heard the others talking amongst themselves. 

“I can’t believe he hasn’t picked this up yet. It’s literally so simple.” Heeseung softly said, it was obvious who he was talking about. 

“Yeah, tell me about it. I picked it up in 30 minutes.” Ni-ki admonished sassily. 

“It’s annoying that we have to practice it over and over.” Sunghoon said spitefully, annoyance evident in his tone. 

Jungwon’s fist clenched silently. He couldn’t believe they were saying something like this right in front of Sunoo. Sunoo sighed, he knew he was holding them back. Maybe he should just quit. Tears welled up in his eyes silently. 

“Guys, how could you say that? You know Sunoo is trying his best, that’s all that matters.” Jungwon stood in front of his members, serious expression on his face. 

They all flinched lightly and Jungwon took that as a sign to continue. 

“Whenever any of us were having a hard time, Sunoo would always be the first to cheer us up. Whenever Heeseung-hyung had trouble with vocal practice, Sunoo would stay hours to help him. Whenever Ni-ki had trouble with Korean, Sunoo would help him practice until he got it. Whenever Sunghoon-hyung had trouble with training evaluations, Sunoo reassured him he would do well. Why are you picking on him now? He’s helped all of us through so many things, so what if he’s having trouble learning the dance? He’s still working as hard as any of us.” 

Jungwon glared daggers at them as they all looked down guiltily. Sunoo’s eyes flooded with tears upon hearing Jungwon’s speech. Jungwon turned around to Sunoo with a serious expression on his face. He held his head, not wanting to convey himself as mad at the boy. 

“Don’t listen to them, Sunoo-hyung. You’re doing great. Don’t worry about it and take your time.” 

Sunoo smiled widely and hugged Jungwon. 

“Thanks Jungwon-ah. Can you help me with this move?” 

“Yeah, hyung. So first…” 

“We’re sorry too, Sunoo-yah. We didn’t mean to hurt you, we were just complaining. Let’s practice together, Sunoo-yah.” Sunghoon said as he walked closer to the two. 

“It’s okay, guys. I forgive you. So how does the move go again?” 

They all practiced together with smiles on their faces. 

1. Ni-ki

Ni-ki was having a rough time in Korea again. He had just returned from a solo trip to Japan, he was invited to a fashion show where he saw many of his sunbaenims and cool actors and models from around the world. He stayed there for almost a month, going to individual schedules and going to fashion shows he was invited too. Luckily, he got to see his family once again, he mostly stayed with them except when he had a few schedules in Tokyo, staying there overnight. It was a hike up to Tokyo from his hometown, but he enjoyed it. 

But now he was back in Korea. Away from his friends and family once more. And a fresh month of not speaking Korean can make you forget a lot, surprisingly. Ni-ki felt like he was a trainee again, fresh blood from another country who didn’t know a lick of Korean. Of course that wasn’t true, but that little voice in his mind wouldn’t shut up. He, in fact, was still very fluent in Korean, just not used to using it again. 

But, when Ni-ki didn’t ignore that little voice in his head, he became swallowed up in it. He trusted it maybe a little too much. He became quite nervous about speaking Korean fluently again, in front of his groupmates, and in front of the whole world. He would get bouts of nervous energy when their schedules picked back up, with interviews, music shows, and even Youtube content. Like now, he got a bout of nervous energy with their new Youtube content for their comeback. 

He stood in the middle of the group as the prompter lit up with his name and a sentence to speak. Anxiety spiked in his heart as he slightly squinted to read the Korean. 

“What are we doing today? We’re going to…” He squinted as he slightly smiled, all of the hangul characters were blending together. 

“Test our trivia knowledge.” Jungwon whispered from next to Ni-ki, before going to hold his hand silently. 

“We’re going to test our trivia knowledge today! Are you all curious as to what we’re… going to learn?”

“Yesss! Now, let’s go!” Jungwon smiled as he pointed his free arm toward the camera. 

Ni-ki continued to hold Jungwon’s hand, his nerves calming down. 

“Let me know if you need help reading something, okay?” Jungwon slightly whispered, to which Ni-ki nodded and looked at his hyung gratefully. 

The content was going pretty smoothly, they were all getting a lot of answers, surprisingly Jungwon had the most so far. Then came part for the written test. Ni-ki’s anxiety spiked once more. So far all of the questions had been verbal, so Ni-ki was confident in answering them. But speaking and reading Korean were two different things. And writing in Korean Ni-ki might add. Those were completely different things. He sighed as the sheets were passed around. He moved his table closer to Jungwon’s, fully ready to take up the older’s offer of help from earlier. He started answering the questions, getting stuck on one particular word of the third question. 

“Hyung, what’s this word? Shin-cha-yeo?” 

“Yeah, that’s right. She’s an old trot singer, Shin Cha-yeo. From the 70s. If you don’t know her just put down something random.” 

Ni-ki smiled and nodded before continuing answering the questions. He continued to ask Jungwon for help with the words he didn’t understand, and eventually they finished the quiz, surprisingly before most of the others. 

The directors decided to cut and their manager walked up to Ni-ki before crouching down at the younger’s height. 

“Ni-ki, were you just cheating with Jungwon?”

“No, hyung, I didn’t understand some words so I was getting Jungwon-hyung’s help…” 

“But you’re fluent in Korean, Ni-ki. Why do you need help now?” 

“I was in Japan for a while, hyung. My Korean is a little…” 

“That’s not an excuse. You’ve been here for three years now, you should be fluent. ” 

“I’m sorry, hyung, but–” 

“Manager-hyung. He’s telling the truth, he was getting help from me, I offered it earlier. I didn’t give him any answers. And Ni-ki is plenty fluent hyung, don’t worry. He’s just a little rusty, he’ll be back on his feet in no time, don’t worry.” Jungwon smiled understandingly at his manager, trying to convince him of his statement. 

“Well…if you say so. Sorry, Ni-ki, I was concerned you were having trouble again. Let’s continue with the shooting.” He turned around to the cameramen once more. 

Before the cameras started rolling again, Ni-ki smiled at his Jungwon-hyung. 

“Thanks for protecting me, Jungwon-hyung.” 

“Of course, Ni-ki. Lemme know if you need help again today.” 

Ni-ki nodded and smiled widely at his hyung. 

+1 Jungwon 

Being a leader was exhausting. Especially to a group of six young boys who were still an up-and-coming k-pop group. Jungwon had too many responsibilities to count, and the fact that his group was easily excitable was not helpful. So when their company announced their full album comeback, it was an understatement to say they all were a little excited. However, that excitement quickly died down for Jungwon, who had too many responsibilities besides the others to truly take in the whole process. He had to talk to their staff, practice vocals, check up on the members, practice dancing, get schedules from management, take care of the chores around their dorm, and get enough sleep each night. And rinse and repeat for six months on end. Jungwon was tired. As he was so busy for six months without one break, his immune system was considerably weakened. He knew he had to cut at least one thing from his hectic schedule, but what? He definitely needed to sleep. He couldn’t function if he even lost one minute of his precious sleep. But eating? He could probably cut that down. Maybe having one meal a day and snacks otherwise? That didn’t sound too bad. His cheeks were getting too chubby anyway. 

It was three months into Jungwon’s rigorous schedule when things started to truly get bad. It was about seven weeks since he started his special “diet,” and surprisingly, it was working well. Jungwon found more time for himself and his cheeks were starting to cave in. Engenes might think he looks sexy in this new concept thanks to his diet. Jungwon didn’t notice the mental effects it had on him. The others noticed though. They were greatly worried about their leader, he didn’t smile much anymore, unlike how he usually was during their schedules. 

It all came to a head when they were in the middle of their dance practice for one of the b-sides of their album. Jungwon was fumbling through it silently, he hadn’t eaten anything yet today and his movements were sluggish. He hadn’t picked up the choreography as quickly as he hoped he would, but his body refused to listen to him. Jungwon was getting frustrated with himself. But he knew he needed to get something in his uncomfortable stomach before he did anything else. That wouldn’t happen anytime soon though, not with how their instructor was drilling the choreography into them. 

“Jungwon-ah, arms up!” 

“Jungwon-ah, arms higher!” 

“Jungwon-ah, higher!” 

Jungwon breathed heavily as he crouched down to put his hands on his knees. Sweat dripped from his face, and his stomach churned uncomfortably. He felt bile rise up in his throat, so he quickly ran to their nearby restroom and immediately threw up in the nearest stall. Multiple fluids flowed out from Jungwon’s mouth, but nothing solid. Jungwon heaved heavily as his arms shook. He flet a grounding hand touch his back to which he quickly turned around. His vision blurred slightly before clearing to see Jay. 

“It’s okay. Let it all out, it’s okay Jungwon-ah.” 

Jungwon heaved into the toilet once more before wiping his mouth with toilet paper. Jungwon relaxed, it looked like the danger was passed for right now. 

“You okay, Jungwon-ah? Here’s some water.” 

Jay handed him a bottle of water before the other drank a big gulp. 

“I think so, hyung.” Jungwon closed his eyes as his head spiked in pain. 

Jay felt Jungwon’s forehead, flinching upon contact. 

“Jungwon-ah, you’re burning up! Come on, let’s get you home. Let’s go get your stuff.” 

Jungwon could only nod silently as Jay helped him stand up and head back to their practice room. 

Once back to their practice room, the others were still taking a break while the instructor was going through her phone. 

“Ah, Jungwon-ah, can I talk with you?” 

“Yes, noona, what is it?” 

“I just can’t understand why you can’t get this. What’s going on with you? Why are you having such a hard time all of a sudden? I really don’t understand why you can’t get something as simple as this.” 

“Sorry, noona, I–” 

“I wasn’t done. As the leader of your group you have a responsibility to show them a good example. Are you just screwing around because you’re not serious about this? Because if that’s the case then I’m going to need to talk to your management.” 

“No, noona, I swear that’s not it. I–” Jungwon fell silent, he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to admit that the stress was toppling over him like building blocks. If he showed weakness he wouldn’t be able to move forward. 

“You what? I’m getting the feeling you’re not serious about this Jungwon-ah. You need to be more mindful of the role you have. Setting a good example for the others and working hard is just part of that. Unless you don’t want to do that anymore, because if you say so–” 

“NO!” A chorus of shouts came from multiple presences in the room. Jungwon turned around to his members with wide eyes. 

“Jungwon-hyung makes a great example for all of us! He works so hard, you can’t even begin to know noona!” Ni-ki said emotionally as he walked closer to them. 

“That’s right. Jungwon is a great leader that we all love. He works so incredibly hard for all of us, he’s so important to us.” Heeseung followed after, affection for the boy showing in his smile. 

“And he may not be perfect all of the time, but he’s perfect to all of us, and that’s what matters.” Sunoo continued on, holding Jungwon’s hand. 

“Yeah, noona. He’s sick, please be more understanding of his situation.” Jay continued on, bringing new information to the group and their dance instructor. 

“He has a lot of responsibilities as the leader, noona, he’s done a lot these past few months too.” Jake followed Jay, coming up behind the leader.

“And I can imagine he’s been stressed with the comeback responsibilities already, so please go easy on him noona.” Sunghoon finished, wrapping his arm around Jungwon’s shoulder. 

Jungwon’s lips trembled as they curled upward. Gosh, how did he get such a loving group? He dried his tears with his hand before looking at their dance instructor. 

“I’m sorry I’m tired, noona. I promise I’ll feel better tomorrow, so please scold me then. Thanks guys.” He looked at his group and smiled widely before his vision slightly blurred. His eyes squinted as he slightly fell forward, before catching himself. 

“Jungwon-ah? Are you okay? Jung–” 

Jungwon’s vision blackened as he passed out silently. Sunghoon caught the younger boy before feeling his forehead. 

“God, he’s burning up! Come on, let’s get him home.” Sunghoon fully picked up the boy, bridal style, as the others got their bags and walked out of the studio with Sunghoon leading them. 

Once they arrived back home, they laid Jungwon down in his bed and went to get a cold washcloth to put over his forehead. Five boys hovered over him as he laid in his bed, groaning lightly. Jake came back with the cold washcloth and a basin full of water before putting it on Jungwon’s forehead. The younger sighed as his tensed body relaxed. 

“Get some sleep, Jungwon-ah,” Jake said as he kissed him on the cheek.

“Goodnight, Jungwon-ah.” Jay lightly patted Jungwon’s head as he smiled.

“Feel better, Won.” Sunghoon cradled the younger’s cheek and smiled. 

“Get better soon, hyung. Goodnight.” Ni-ki said before kissing Jungwon’s cheek lightly. 

“Goodnight, Wonie. Sweet dreams~” Sunoo whispered as he patted Jungwon’s hair affectionately. 

“Love you, Wonie. Feel better soon, good night.” Heeseung smiled widely as he patted Jungwon’s hair ever so carefully. 

Once they all left his room, Jungwon smiled widely. He was truly loved. 

Fin