Work Text:
Joel watched Ellie carefully. She’d been quiet since the attack. He still didn’t know the full extent of what that goddamned cannibal had done to her. Bad enough she woke up crying some nights. Then got angry and embarrassed when he tried calm her down. Like she hadn’t been through something that’d crack someone twice her age.
But they’d had a lucky break. A map. Jacksonville. Where Tommy was supposed to be.
Maybe it was a fairytale. The idea that his brother would be okay. That this place would be safe. Sure beat laying down to die though. He’d take the fairytale, for as long as he could.
The snow was melting all around them. That was good. There’d been more food – more animals, better plants. He didn’t like how skinny Ellie was. She’d never admit it out loud, but he’d been a father of a young woman before. He didn’t think she’d gotten her period since Kansas City. Too thin. Not enough food. To hell with this world. Even if he stopped bullets from piercing her or infected from shredding her, he still couldn’t keep her safe.
I’m failing her. I’m failing.
They reached the top of the ridge.
The view hit him like a brick to the stomach. Hope? Fear? There was no difference anymore. They both burned him from the inside out.
“Woah,” said Ellie, coming up by his shoulder. “It’s a whole city.”
So it was. Sprawling across the valley floor – Joel could see houses and streets and high, thick walls. There were large fields on the far side. Tiny dots of people slowly moving through the fields, tilling and sowing. He wasn’t certain, but he thought he could see the glint of electric lights in some of the buildings.
“Is it Jacksonville?” asked Ellie.
“Gotta be.”
“Is it safe?”
Joel hesitated. “Tell you what, I’ll head down, check it out. If I find Tommy, I can come back and –”
“No!”
Joel looked down at Ellie. Her brown eyes were wide, scared, serious as she said, “Don’t fucking leave me.”
Joel put a hand on her shoulder, squeezed it.
“Okay.”
They stood on the ridge a moment, looking down at the city below. Joel thought that two of the people in that town could be children, the way they ran up and down one of the streets, chasing one another.
Joel checked his gun. Half a pack of ammo. He slipped it back into his pocket.
“Okay,” he said again. “We got down to the front gates. Announce ourselves. Ask for Tommy. We don’t go in until we see him. And you stay right behind me, at all times. Okay? No funny business. None of that sass.”
Ellie nodded. It broke his heart to see her so obedient.
They went down the ridge slow. It was sunset by the time they reached the valley. Joel had picked a path that could be clearly seen by those watch towers, wanting to come in honest. Hoping that being visible would make them less of a threat.
Now he regretted it. One trigger happy guard and they’d be taken down before they could even speak.
From the moment he could see the guards’ guns, Joel raised his hands in surrender as he walked. Ellie mimicked him from two steps behind. God, he hated this. He wanted her anywhere but here.
When he was within shouting distance he slowly lowered his hands and called out, “Not looking for trouble. Just looking for Jacksonville.”
The guards looked at each other – one man, one woman. The man called back. “You’ve found it. What’s your business?”
The man had his hand on his gun, a long-range rifle but it slung around his shoulders, not in his hands, not pointed at the two travelers.
Joel checked to put Ellie directly behind him as he walked a little closer.
“Last I heard, my brother lived here. Tommy. Tommy Miller.”
Ellie started to walk to his side. Joel pulled her back, keeping a grip on her arm. He squeezed it, once, trying to be reassuring.
The woman said, “I know a Tommy Miller. From Texas?’
Hope. God, it was painful. Joel could barely speak.
“Yes, ma’am.”
The guards looked at one another. The woman shrugged. The man turned back, still suspicious.
“How come you’re standing like that in front of that kid?”
“Because she’s my kid. And you have a rifle.”
The woman snorted.
“He’s got a point, Marcus. You two wait here. I’ll send someone to find our Tommy – see if he’ll vouch for you.” She stuck her head back through the gates and started shouting at someone else. Joel could barely hear what was said. Blood rushed through his ears. He could feel Ellie squeeze his hand.
~*~*~
It was an ordinary day for Tommy. Breakfast with Maria. Chores around the house. Trading with Rosa for a crib and some baby clothes. Summer was coming soon. Most of the day was spent fixing the hole in the roof of the main lodge. They’d just finished up as the sun was starting to set. He could see Maria coming home from the fields, the plans for the irrigation ditches still in her arms. She passed them off to one of her friends as he approached, and he clasped her free hand in his. The cool evening breeze wrapped around them on their way home.
And then he heard the soft crunch of running feet. It was one of the teen boys, training to be a guard, named Pete or Paul or something like that.
“Hey Tommy,” he said, out of breath.
“Hey there. What’s up?”
“You got a brother named Joel?”
The world froze.
“Yeah…why.”
“ ’Cause there’s a guy named Joel at the gates. Says he’s your brother.”
It was impossible. Impossible. He couldn’t hope that this was true. It would hurt to much. Tommy turned to Maria, more scared than anything else. It couldn’t possibly be true and it was going to hurt like hell when it wasn’t.
“Go!” she urged.
Tommy went. Later, he would not be able to remember running down main street, or turning at the gates. But he must have, because he was there somehow, and the guards were opening the gates for him. Through the crack, Tommy could see a man in a worn, brown coat, his back to the gates, his head low, but it didn’t matter, because even from this far away, even from the back of his goddamn head, he could tell it was –
“Joel!” yelled Tommy. Then softer, laughing, “Joel.”
Joel’s head snapped up. He turned, eyes wide.
Brother ran to brother. Tommy had no sooner lifted his arms before he could feel Joel’s wrapped around him.
To hell with impossible. Tommy started to laugh.
“Goddamn! It is you! Joel!”
“Tommy, shit, I didn’t think we’d make it,” Joel said, voice cracking.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
Joel pulled back and turned away, and Tommy, for the first time, looked behind his brother.
There was a kid. A girl. Brown hair, brown eyes. Early teens, maybe. A shirt three sizes too big for her, the sleeves rolled up and cuffed. A filthy old pair of blue jeans. Shoes with the soles barely holding on.
“Ellie, come here,” said his brother, as soft as Tommy’d ever heard him.
The girl – Ellie – walked over immediately, her eyes not leaving Joel’s face.
Joel gently pushed her in front of him, a hand on each shoulder, so she was facing Tommy.
The girl looked at him with suspicion.
“Ellie, this is Tommy,” said Joel. “Tommy, Ellie.”
Ellie stuck out her hand and Tommy shook it, bewildered. He instinctively starting doing the math in his head. But no – it’d been only five years since he’d seen Joel last, and this girl was definitely older than that. Infinitely older than that. And she didn’t look a thing like Joel. Or Tess. Where was Tess?
“I’ve heard a lot about you,” said Ellie, pulling Tommy out of his thoughts.
“Really?” he asked. Looked up at his brother for an explanation.
But Joel gave none, only tightened the grip on Ellie’s shoulders and said, “She needs food.”
“Right.” Tommy turned back to the gates. There was Maria, out of breath, belly showing. She looked at him, and as Tommy answered her unspoken question, he realized it didn’t matter who the girl was.
“It’s Joel,” he called back. “It’s my brother.”
~*~*~
They hadn’t planned on four for dinner, but they’d make it work. It was mostly canned veggies, which cooked fast. Fresh veggies wouldn’t come until summer or fall. Fresh meat was off-limits until the animals had a chance to wean their young.
Joel and Ellie tore into the food so fast, Tommy was worried they wouldn’t be able to breathe.
Maria stopped Tommy as he took the plates back into the kitchen to wash.
“Who is she, though?”
“I don’t know.”
“Is she staying with him? Or should I talk to Rosa?”
Rosa ran the children’s group home, an inevitable reality. Even if it weren’t for clickers, there was still dysentery and tetanus and childbirth – all the old, common ways to die, come back with a vengeance.
“I don’t know,” said Tommy again.
Maria sighed. She liked order. She liked answers.
Tommy watched his brother watching Ellie clean her plate, and then watched as Joel pushed his last few carrots her way.
Maria clapped her hands together.“Well, now that you’ve gotten some food – how about showers and clean clothes? Ellie, I’m sure we can find you something if you come with me. It’ll be big, but it’ll do for tonight.”
Ellie immediately looked suspicious again.
“Come with you where?”
“Just… upstairs,” said Maria.
Ellie glanced back at Joel.
“Go on – you smell,” he said, not unkindly. “I’ll help Tommy with the dishes.”
Ellie obediently slid off of her chair and walked to the stairs.
Joel did not immediately help with the dishes, instead tearing off a piece of bread from the loaf on the center of the table.
“We got butter, if you want it,” said Tommy.
“Damn, living like kings, huh. I’ll take some.”
Tommy settled in across from Joel, trying to figure the best way into the conversation.
“Hey Joel,” came Ellie’s voice from half up the stairs.
“Yeah?” he shouted back.
“Is this Sarah?”
Tommy’s heart froze.
There was a picture of Sarah, one with Joel, on the staircase. He’d gone back to the old house to save it – sobbed over it. It had taken a long time before he could bear to look at it, could hold the memory of the day at the park, see Sarah’s easy smile without seeing Sarah’s bloodstained shirt and empty eyes.
“I’ll put it away,” said Tommy hurriedly, already rising from his chair.
But Joel gestured for him to stay seated. And his voice was low, but steady as he called back. “I don’t know what you’re looking at Ellie. Why don’t you bring it here.”
Tommy watched in shock as Ellie walked back into the kitchen, carrying the picture frame in her hands.
She held it out to Joel, but he slung an arm around her shoulders instead, pulling her in so that both of them were looking at it together.
Ellie knew Sarah’s name. Which meant Joel had talked to Ellie. About Sarah.
Tommy watched his brother let out a heavy sigh.
“Yep. That’s Sarah. That’s a park near our old house.”
“In Texas?”
“In Texas,” Joel confirmed. “Sarah and I…We went there a lot over the summer. Don’t
remember this trip in particular. But probably a couple of months before… before the outbreak.”
Joel was staring at the photo. Ellie was staring at Joel. And Tommy was staring at both of them.
He couldn’t remember the last time Joel had said his daughter’s name.
Now he watched as Joel squeezed Ellie’s shoulder and ask, “She look how you thought she would?”
Ellie shrugged. “Her hair was curlier than yours.”
“It was.”
“She’s pretty,” said Ellie.
“She was that,” said Joel. He stared at the photo a moment longer and then said. “She would’ve liked you.”
“Yeah?”
“No doubt,” said Joel. He handed her back the photograph. “Why don’t you put that back where you found it.”
Ellie nodded and headed back upstairs.
Tommy and Joel sat in silence until they could hear the shower water turn on.
“There are some houses that are open,” said Tommy finally. “They’ll need some work, but no more than a couple weeks. Ellie can have her own room.”
“Thank you,” said Joel.
He finished his bread.
“I’ll tell you the whole story,” said Joel finally. “But not for three days. And in three days, you’ll understand why I waited. Can you trust me with that?”
Tommy nodded.